For dad only:

The Apostle Paul was a “father” who wrote his “children.” He encouraged them in the right ways and corrected them about their mistakes. He spoke in love but he was firm. Some of the best teaching material in the New Testament comes from his writing to correct someone’s sinfulness.

Why don’t you become an apostle to your children? Sit down and write them a letter. Do not focus on negatives. But do not make it all warm fuzzies. Give them some meat to chew on. Give them something they ... → Read More: Sibling Love (2 of 3): Survival]]> Devotional teaching brothers and sisters to love each other

For dad only:

Write to Them

The Apostle Paul was a “father” who wrote his “children.” He encouraged them in the right ways and corrected them about their mistakes. He spoke in love but he was firm. Some of the best teaching material in the New Testament comes from his writing to correct someone’s sinfulness.

Why don’t you become an apostle to your children? Sit down and write them a letter. Do not focus on negatives. But do not make it all warm fuzzies. Give them some meat to chew on. Give them something they can go back to and reread often.

Here’s some suggestions of how to write your children an epistle:

Praise and encouragement

Tell your child what you think he/she is doing well in. Uplift internal qualities and not just external performance. Do not inflate ego, encourage character. Teach brothers and sisters to love each other.

When you write, you will be tempted to use fluff. Fluffy writing is full of statements that apply to no one in particular. For example: “I like you.” You could say this to any and all of your children (and you should), but it is not meaningful or specific. Instead, say something like, “Your love of God’s Word inspires me.” Or maybe, “Thanks for protecting your sister; I am proud of your manliness.”

Correction and discipline

Perhaps you tend to nag your kids. Sit down and get to the point of what the child needs to work on. Instead of destructive statements like, “You annoy me,” try something more constructive like, “Turning up your mp3 player and ignoring your mother, hurts both her and me.”

When dealing with difficult to express concepts, use a word picture. Tell a story and then explain what it means in the child’s case. Be careful. Word pictures are powerful tools and if you are careless they can blow up on you. If you feel it might crush or permanently wound your child, throw it out.

Paul was not afraid to write hurtful things as long as they did no lasting harm. His writing did hurt the church in Corinth, but in the long run, it made them better (II Corinthians 7).

Purpose and future

Speak to the child’s destiny. Encourage him or her in the things you know God has gifted him or her in. If you know what the Lord is calling your child to, remind him or her about it.

Don’t worry about your children being too young to think about marriage, careers, or ministry. In some ways, it is healthy for children to realize life is bigger than themselves.

Wrap it up

Get to the point. Aim high.

Believe in them.

Model love.

Encourage purity.

The grace of God and our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Farewell.

_________

Read this to teach brothers and sisters to love each other:

Holed Up Together

Last time, Rusty and Misty got lost in a snow storm. They hid out in a storm culvert under the road to get out of the wind.

Misty shook all over. Rusty put his arm around her.

“Hey, you can’t go to sleep,” he said. “People who fall asleep when they are cold will die.”

“Where’s Mom and Dad?” she moaned.

“I’m sure they are looking for us. But the way this snow is coming down, they are not going to be able to drive very far.”

“I can’t get warm,” she said. Her teeth were chattering together.

Rusty closed his eyes and thought for a moment. “Okay, we need to pray.”

“Jesus, help us!” Misty blurted out.

“Lord, please help us get out of here,” Rusty said. “Help Misty get warm. Show Mom and Dad how to find us. Keep us safe. Amen.”

When Rusty finished he looked at Misty. Tears were flowing down her face. “Hey,” he said, “don’t do that. Your tears will make your face raw. Try not to cry.”

He reached over and wiped her face with the sleeve of his jacket.

“I need a tissue or something,” he said. He dug into his pocket and felt a plastic bag. Pulling it out he remembered putting it there. “Hey, look. My sandwich. I kept it for later because I wanted to go back and sled again. Here, eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Misty. It might help you feel warm.”

He opened it up and let her take a bite. Her arms were wrapped around her legs to keep herself warm. “Thankth,” she said through her mouthful.

“I just wish we had some hot chocolate here, too,” Rusty muttered.

After she finished his sandwich Misty stopped shaking and chattering. The snow had packed in around the sled blockade at the end of the tunnel, and the wind had stopped howling through. Once Rusty was sure Misty was okay and not freezing to death, he decided to check out the situation outside.

“I am going to go see what I can find out there.”

“It is snowing and the wind is still strong.”

“I know, but if a vehicle comes down the road, I want them to find us.”

“Don’t go far and come back every minute,” she demanded.

Rusty looked into Misty’s eyes. She was worried about him. “Hey,” he said, glancing down, “I’m sorry about not thinking about you earlier. I was being selfish.”

“Not as bad as I was. I was happy to give the hot cocoa to the other boys but I made you get your own. I’m sorry.”

Rusty felt like crying, but he knew the tears would only chap his face. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he said, turning to leave.

*       *       *

Dad had walked down the hill after Rusty and Misty did not show up at the top of it. Talking to Mom on his cell, he said, “I see their footprints—I think. It looks like they came down to the dry creek bed and then headed west… Yes, west—y’know, to the right?… Yeah. And they stopped at a fence, then turned around. The only other footprints I see are going up the hill. How did they miss us?… No, I don’t see any other sets of footprints leading away from here. The snow has really drifted already, though. This whole creek bed is full of snow now.”

After a while, Mom and Dad has split up to look for them. She took the minivan and he took his truck. At one point, mom found a side road where foot prints came over to a fence. She looked on the other side of the road but did not see the footprints continue. She called Dad. “They may have come this way, but they must have either walked down this road, or… No, I don’t see any other car tracks—do you think they got in someone else’s car?… Maybe, the snow has drifted across parts of this road—I’m scared to drive out here. But a car could have come through here a while ago… What are the police going to do?… Okay, okay, I’ll try to be patient.”

*       *       *

“Okay, I won’t be gone long,” Rusty promised. He crawled through the tunnel and climbed out into the blowing snow. First, he climbed out of the ditch to look at the road. He saw tire marks in the road. A vehicle had come through there recently. Snow was already filling in the ruts.

“We didn’t even it hear it go over,” Rusty said. “This wind is too loud and the snow makes things so quiet.”

He looked up and down the road to see if another vehicle was coming. Nothing. He crawled back down to the culvert.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m all right. Did you find anything?”

Rusty shook his head. “No, but we have to listen really close—someone already drove by.”

“Maybe they will come back this way.”

“I don’t know—there is already a lot of snow on the road. It wasn’t safe when that car came through. I just hope—”

“You hope what?”

Rusty changed the subject, saying, “I hope I can find some wood. Maybe we can start a fire.”

He hurried out into the wind and looked around. He did not see any branches anywhere, but he walked up the fence line, looking. Soon, he came back to get out of the wind.

“If you find wood,” she asked, “How will you start a fire?”

Rusty shrugged. “Indians used to rub sticks together to start fires. Bet we could.”

He took off again, walking in the other direction. In the ditch he found a few long branches. He pulled them out of the snow and rushed back toward their shelter.

“Got some,” he said.

“I am getting cold again.”

“Here,” he said. He broke off a few pieces of wood and shuffled them in ahead of himself. Take a couple and rub them together. I will do some myself. If we get a fire started, we will be warmer.”

Misty started rubbing the sticks together. “At least doing this makes me feel warmer,” she said after a while.

“That might be all it does,” he answered. “We probably shouldn’t burn anything in here, anyway—might die of monoxide poisoning.”

“Oh, yeah,” she said. “So what are we going to do?”

“Well, if we get a fire started, we can build it up outside. Maybe someone would see it and come to check it out. If not, we could sit in front of it to get warm.”

“Okay!” Misty rubbed her sticks even faster.

After a while, they both were quite warm. Misty even pulled off her scarf. But they still had no fire.

“I’ve been thinking,” Rusty said. “If someone came down this road again, I wonder if we would hear them.”

“Well, we can’t sit up in the road waiting for them,” Misty said.

“No,” Rusty said, as he picked up Misty’s scarf. “If we had a flag or something, it might let them know we are down here.”

“You want to use my scarf as a flag?”

“It’s bright pink. It might work.”

“Can you climb a tree or telephone pole out there?”

“No, but I had another branch, and it’s pretty long.”

“Do it!”

In a few minutes, Rusty had tied Misty’s scarf onto the stick and rammed the stick down between the wires of the fence beside the road. The stick was long enough that it hung up toward the road a little.

When he came back in, Misty asked, “Will it work?”

Rusty smiled for the first time since they left Rocket Hill. “Yes,” he said. “It’s perfect. We may not have a fire, but we have a bright pink flag!”

“There’s only one problem,” she muttered.

“What’s that?” he asked as he hunkered down next to her again. “It’s almost dark.”

_______

Now discuss it!

Should you start an open fire inside a closed space?

What would you have done in their situation?

What changed about Rusty and Misty’s attitudes toward each other once they had to depend on each other?

Do you think they should have felt this way about each other without having to get lost in a storm?

How do you keep love in your heart for people you have to be with all the time? Why do people we are close to tend to annoy us?

Do you think Jesus’ brothers and sisters ever got annoying? What do you think He would do to keep loving others and not get selfish?

Do you think Misty will blame Rusty for getting them lost?

Do you think Rusty will blame Misty for getting them lost?

Would you blame someone or work out a plan?

_________

Read God’s Word to teach siblings to love each other:

Hated and Favored Brothers

Joseph, a young man of seventeen, took care of the sheep and goats with [his ten older brothers.] He brought bad reports to his father about what his brothers were doing. Jacob loved Joseph more than all his other sons, because he had been born to him when he was old. He made a long robe with full sleeves for him.

When his brothers saw that their father loved Joseph more than he loved them, they hated their brother so much that they would not speak to him in a friendly manner. One time Joseph had a dream, and when he told his brothers about it, they hated him even more.

He said, “Listen to the dream I had. We were all in the field tying up sheaves of wheat, when my sheaf got up and stood up straight. Yours formed a circle around mine and bowed down to it.”

“Do you think you are going to be a king and rule over us?” his brothers asked. So they hated him even more because of his dreams and because of what he said about them….

When Joseph came up to his brothers, they ripped off his long robe with full sleeves. Then they took him and threw him into the well, which was dry. While they were eating, they suddenly saw a group of Ishmaelites traveling from Gilead to Egypt. Their camels were loaded with spices and resins.

Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain by killing our brother and covering up the murder? Let’s sell him to these Ishmaelites. Then we won’t have to hurt him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.”

His brothers agreed, and when some Midianite traders came by, the brothers pulled Joseph out of the well and sold him for twenty pieces of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt….

When Jacob learned that there was grain in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why don’t you do something? I hear that there is grain in Egypt; go there and buy some to keep us from starving to death.”

So Joseph’s ten half brothers went to buy grain in Egypt, but Jacob did not send Joseph’s full brother Benjamin with them, because he was afraid that something might happen to him. The sons of Jacob came with others to buy grain, because there was famine in the land of Canaan. Joseph, as governor of the land of Egypt, was selling grain to people from all over the world. So Joseph’s brothers came and bowed down before him with their faces to the ground.

When Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he acted as if he did not know them. He asked them harshly, “Where do you come from?” “We have come from Canaan to buy food,” they answered.

Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him. He remembered the dreams he had dreamed about them and said, “You are spies; you have come to find out where our country is weak.”

“No, sir,” they answered. “We have come as your slaves, to buy food. We are all brothers. We are not spies, sir, we are honest men.”

Joseph said to them, “No! You have come to find out where our country is weak.”

They said, “We were twelve brothers in all, sir, sons of the same man in the land of Canaan. One brother is dead, and the youngest is now with our father.”…

When Joseph got home, they took the gifts into the house to him and bowed down to the ground before him. He asked about their health and then said, “You told me about your old father—how is he? Is he still alive and well?”

They answered, “Your humble servant, our father, is still alive and well.” And they knelt and bowed down before him.

When Joseph saw his brother Benjamin, he said, “So this is your youngest brother, the one you told me about. God bless you, my son.”

Then Joseph left suddenly, because his heart was full of tender feelings for his brother. He was about to break down, so he went to his room and cried. After he had washed his face, he came out, and controlling himself, he ordered the meal to be served.

Joseph was served at one table and his brothers at another. The Egyptians who were eating there were served separately, because they considered it beneath their dignity to eat with Hebrews. The brothers had been seated at the table, facing Joseph, in the order of their age from the oldest to the youngest. When they saw how they had been seated, they looked at one another in amazement. Food was served to them from Joseph’s table, and Benjamin was served five times as much as the rest of them.

 (Genesis 37:2-8, 23-28; 42:1-13; 43:26-33, GNB)

_________

Let’s talk about it!

Joseph was a good man at work. However, He was holding feelings against some people. Who?

His brothers.

What had his brothers done to hurt him?

When his first son was born, according to Genesis 41:51, what did he name him and why?

Manasseh, because he had “forgotten” his family

Does God really want us to forget our brothers and sisters and ignore them when they have done us wrong?

As ruler in Egypt, Joseph served everyone in his country and helped people from other countries. Who were the only people he had a problem with serving?

His brothers.

One of His brothers was never old enough to cause him much trouble. How do you know he favored this brother over the others?

He wanted to see him, and gave him food and gifts.

Why is it easier to love younger brothers and sisters than older ones?

Joseph finally got over what happened to him as a child once he was an adult with kids of his own. Will you forgive your brothers and sisters now, or wait until you have your own kids?

Role play: Your brother makes fun of you in front of your friends. Then he falls, rips a hole in his pants, and skins his knee. Will you laugh and make fun to get even or will you help him get inside and wash it?

You get annoyed and yell at your older sister who wants to play a game with you, but your little brother wants you to read to him. How do you show them both love?

_________

Memorize it!

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loveth at all times,

and a brother is born for adversity.

Please leave a comment on what you think of this devotional teaching brothers and sisters to love each other.

For dad only:

Sitting on the creek bank the other day, my three-year-old girl climbed into my lap. She and I were watching her brothers and sisters fish. She had been fishing with her cane pole but lost interest interest in the sport after whipping it around for a while, hooking another child’s line, and then dropping the thing ... → Read More: Sibling Love (1 of 3): Lost]]> Sometimes curing sibling rivalry might be easier than you think. Use this devotional on brothers and sisters getting along to help your kids get their thinking straight. Stories are powerful tools in the heart of a loving dad.

For dad only:

Disciple like Jesus

Sitting on the creek bank the other day, my three-year-old girl climbed into my lap. She and I were watching her brothers and sisters fish. She had been fishing with her cane pole but lost interest interest in the sport after whipping it around for a while, hooking another child’s line, and then dropping the thing in the water—hook, line, and pole.

So she would not get weary and start begging to go home, I did something I have not done with my kids for a while. I told her a story.

Build memories and a legacy with story telling

Back before I started writing Devotions with Dad, I used to make up stories for my kids. This is where the Rusty stories come from. It got inspired to tell you to try this too. Jesus taught most of His lessons through stories.

Dad, you do not have to wait on these stories or any other devotional story guide—you can make up some great stories with your kids. Tell them about your childhood. Make up stories about each of your kids where they get turns being the heroes.

I told my little girl character-building stories that I made up on the spot—one about a bear that was so mean he did not have any friends. I told her Bible stories she had not heard yet and filled them in with color, conversations, and detail. She begged for more.

In the past, I have mentioned that Dads should not just read the Rusty stories to their kids, but tell them instead. Read through and get the idea of the story and its key points, and then tell it in your own style or change it to suit your tastes. The kids will love it because they are learning your heart. They will open theirs to you.

Jesus used word pictures to get to people’s hearts. You can do the same. Pray for guidance before you sit down to tell your kids a story and then go after it with lots of theatrics. Even my older kids enjoy/tolerate my antics.

Devotions with your older children

For family devotions, try using Life! Journals. Sit down together, read each day’s selection, and answer the questions as a family. Be prepared for some amazing insights and thought provoking discussions. My kids have raised questions and brought out insights I have not heard even in seminary! As you go through the Scriptures with a fine-toothed comb, you will encounter things you had never thought through before.

Another great discussion-maker and discipleship tool we use are books about missionaries, preachers, and other notable members of the kingdom. My kids and I have read a few Nona Freeman books together and heard some amazing reports about what God is doing around the world. I recommend the this e-book of missionary stories the whole family will enjoy together.

_________

Read this devotional on brothers and sisters getting along:

Going Downhill

“Wow! Look at all this snow,” Misty said, gazing out the window.

“I know, it is going to be awesome for the boys sledding party today!” Rusty said.

“I want to go sledding so bad,” Misty said. “Can I come, too?”

“Nope, just us boys get to go. We are all going to Rocket Hill!”

“That’s not fair,” Misty said. “Mom?”

“Yes, honey,” Mom answered from the kitchen.

Misty walked toward the sound of her voice, “Can I go sledding, too?”

Mom shook her head, “We have a lot to do, and you can’t go with Rusty—it’s a party just for the boys at church.”

Misty huffed and sat down at the kitchen table. “Why does he always get to have the fun?”

“Careful, young lady,” Mom said. “Your attitude could get you in trouble.”

*       *       *

At Rocket Hill, Dad and Rusty noticed that some of the boys from church had brought some friends along. Some of them were pretty young and did not weigh enough to get their sleds going. Rusty and Dad volunteered to help the little guys get push started so they could make it all the way down the hill like the older kids.

Rusty had pushed about a dozen times when he noticed one boy standing by himself. “Hey, don’t you want to go sledding?” he asked.

The boy shrugged. “I don’t have a sled.”

Rusty felt bad for him. He got his sled out of Dad’s truck and said, “Here, I haven’t gotten to sled yet. Use mine.”

The boy grinned really big in spite of the cold wind that had sprung up. Rusty gave him a big push and laughed watching him careen down the hill.

Some of the younger boys could not steer and ended up going way off the track or rolling over. Rusty rode with a couple of them so they could make it to the bottom. He was careful not to go over the jump or do anything crazy.

*       *       *

Mom was setting a pot on the stovetop.

“So what are we doing?” Misty asked.

“Making hot chocolate. Get a jug of milk out of the refrigerator, please.”

“Cool, I love hot chocolate.” Misty got the milk out.

“Oh, this isn’t for us. It’s for the boys at the sledding party.” Mom poured some into the pot and set Misty to stirring it, to keep it from burning. “I know they are going to be cold, so we are bringing something to warm them up.”

“We’re going?” Misty asked, “Yes! I get to go sledding.”

“Misty, do not be stubborn. You know this is a boys’ party and we are going to let them have their fun. We will just be serving them—that’s all.”

After Misty and Mom finished the hot chocolate, Mom set her to making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They packaged them up in plastic baggies and poured the hot chocolate into a couple thermos containers.

*       *       *

Rusty was just coming up the hill from piggie-back riding with a little boy when Mom and Misty pulled into the parking lot.

“Hey, what did you bring?” Rusty asked Mom.

“Hot chocolate and PB&J’s.”

“All right!”

“Are you having fun?”

Rusty nodded. “I’ve been helping a lot of little kids who do not really weigh enough to go sledding. So has Dad.”

“Well, we’ll be ready in a minute,” Mom said.

A small troop of miniature sledders had already surrounded Rusty begging him to send them back down the hill.

Mom and Misty set up their goods on the park picnic table. Soon a line of kids stood ready for a snack. Misty smiled and chatted with the little guys who came up as she filled their cups with hot cocoa.

Finally, Rusty came up. “Here’s a cup,” Misty said.

“You’re not going to fill mine like you did for everyone else?”

Misty huffed as a cold wind sent down a spattering of new snow. “I don’t know—are you going to let me use your sled?”

“No.” Rusty stepped up and filled his cup. “I haven’t even gotten to go down once on my own. I want a ride before all this is over.”

“You’ve gone down a bunch of times.”

“With little kids. I want to go over the jump and do some crazy stuff I can’t do with little kids.”

After the boys finished their snack, they went back to sledding. Mom chatted with a few of the mothers who had been sitting in their vehicles to stay warm. Misty sat in their van and frowned.

The snow was picking up and everyone decided it would be best to leave soon. As all the other kids were loading into their vehicles, Misty asked Dad, “Can I go down one time, pleeeeease?”

Dad shrugged. “This snowstorm is getting pretty thick. But I think you could go down once. Rusty, you should have a run down the hill by yourself, too. Why don’t you follow her?”

“Okay!”

Misty took Dad’s sled and ran toward the edge of the hill. She jumped on and down she flew. The snowflakes splatted against her face and the wind seemed to push her down the hill.

She looked behind and saw Rusty coming down, too. She pawed at the ground with her mittens too make the ride even faster. Soon the ground leveled out, but Misty wanted to make this trip worth it, so she kept paddling and pushing herself along.

The ground sloped gently and then ended in a dry creek bed. When the sled stopped she lay back and caught snowflakes with her tongue.

Soon, Rusty found her. “Wow, you went a long way!”

“I know. I wish I could go again.”

“Yeah, but this storm is getting strong. We better get back to Mom and Dad before they worry.”

“All right.”

Rusty picked up his sled and started walking back.

“Hey!” Misty said. “The hill is this way.”

Rusty squinted his eyes into the driven snow. “I think it is this way.”

Misty followed him complaining that she thought the hill was the other way. After a few minutes of walking, she yelled, “Shouldn’t we be going up hill by now?”

They came to a barbed wire fence.

“Maybe this is the wrong way,” Rusty said. “I can’t see very well.”

“Follow me. Let’s go back to the creekbed and I can find the hill.”

They walked back, side-by-side. When they got back to the creekbed, they could not see their own tracks.”

“We must have come into it further up,” Misty said. “Let’s just follow this dry creek until we see where I slid into it.”

They walked up the creek, looking through the blinding storm for a trace of their footprints or sled marks.

After a while, Misty felt sick to her stomach. “I don’t know where this goes.”

“Me neither,” Rusty said. “But I think we are safer if we follow it than just wandering out in the open. Maybe we will see a house or come to a road.”

They walked for a long time. Finally they came to a fence, which they climbed over. Rusty held Misty’s sled while she climbed over. The ground went up sharply and they were on a dirt road covered with snow.

“No one has come this way since it started snowing,” Rusty said. He turned toward his left. “But the park area should be back in this direction.”

“Do you think it is far?” Misty said, her chin beginning to chatter. “I am getting really cold.”

Rusty felt fine, so he figured they could walk until they found something. After a little while, he could see Misty was shaking all over. She had not worn a lot of winter clothes because she did not plan on staying out in it too long.

“Look at that hole under the road,” Misty said.

“The culvert? What about it?” he asked.

“We could get down there to get out of the wind.”

Rusty stopped and looked down at the concrete culvert pipe sticking out of the side of the ditch. “Come on,” he said, “let’s check it out.”

They climbed down and looked inside. It was dry inside except for the snow that had blown in.

“Go on, climb in,” Rusty said.

“Are you coming with me?”

“Of course, get in.”

Misty crawled into the pipe, and Rusty followed right behind.

Misty hunched up against the edge of the pipe and tried to stop shaking. Rusty sat and tried to figure out what they were going to do.

“That wind is coming right through here,” Misty chattered.

“I know. I have an idea.” Rusty climbed out of the tunnel with both sleds. He jambed them sideways in front of the culvert pipe and packed snow around them. Then he climbed over the road and entered the culvert from the other side.

“Is that better?”

“Yes, much better, thanks.” Misty was still shivering.

Rusty crawled over and hunched up beside her.

“I am so cold,” she said, leaning against his shoulder, “and so tired.”

Find out what happens next time.

_______

Discuss this devotional story about brothers and sisters getting along!

How did Misty feel about not being able to go sledding? Have you ever felt like this when your brother or sister got to do something special without you?

What nice thing was Rusty doing for the little kids on the sledding hill?

How did he respond when his sister wanted to use his sled?

Misty seemed happy to serve the boys hot cocoa. How did she behave when Rusty came up?

Do you find it easier to do nice things for people you do not know well or for your own family members? Why?

Why shouldn’t you go to sleep if you are lost out in the cold?

Because hypothermia sets in and you could die.

How does Proverbs 18:24 apply to brothers and sisters?

Who is the Friend that sticks closer than a brother?

How does John 15:13 apply?

_________

Read God’s Word together to combat sibling rivalry:

Selfishly Generous

Six days before the Passover celebration began, Jesus arrived in Bethany, the home of Lazarus—the man he had raised from the dead. A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those who ate with him.

Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance.

But Judas Iscariot, the disciple who would soon betray him, said, “That perfume was worth a year’s wages.It should have been sold and the money given to the poor.” Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself.

Jesus replied, “Leave her alone. She did this in preparation for my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.”

(John 12:1-8, NLT)

_________

Let’s talk about this devotional on sibling rivalry!

Was Mary Magdalene being generous and kind to Jesus?

Was Judas really wanting to be kind to the poor?

Do you sometimes do nice things for other people but forget the ones you are close to? Why or why not?

Why should we love our families as much or more than other people?

Role play: Your little brother/sister is scared of the dark. You are not scared, though, and want to teach him/her how to be tough so you run into the house and leave him/her in the car alone. Is this helping?

Your friend has a birthday and your sibling (brother or sister) has one the same day. You only have $5 and want to get them both a gift that costs $5. What will you do?

When have you done something nice for your brother or sister when you really did not feel like it? What helps brothers and sisters to get along?

_________

Memorize this to help overcome sibling rivalry!

Proverbs 18:24

A man that hath friends

must shew himself friendly:

and there is a friend

that sticketh closer than a brother.

Sometimes curing sibling rivalry might be easier than you think. Use this devotional on brothers and sisters getting along to help your kids get their thinking straight. Stories are powerful tools in the heart of a loving dad.

Before a New Year’s Eve prayer meeting, some of the church folks got together to play board games. After the prayer meeting, most everybody wanted to head home and get some sleep—except my kids. They were more than willing to stay up “past midnight” while eating popcorn and drinking Pepsi. What a healthy start to the year. The kids took up the places of the church folks who had left, as I continued on my trek to take over Risk.

I noticed an odd thing, however, as my children took the place of the adults at ... → Read More: Respecting Each Other]]> For DAD Only:

Raising Adults

Before a New Year’s Eve prayer meeting, some of the church folks got together to play board games. After the prayer meeting, most everybody wanted to head home and get some sleep—except my kids. They were more than willing to stay up “past midnight” while eating popcorn and drinking Pepsi. What a healthy start to the year. The kids took up the places of the church folks who had left, as I continued on my trek to take over Risk.

I noticed an odd thing, however, as my children took the place of the adults at the game. I found myself being a little more demanding with my opponents. “Roll the dice.” “Hey, it’s your turn now.” “Pay attention to the game.” “Come on, are you going to make a move or not?”

Okay, I will cut myself a little slack since it was dark o’clock in the morning, and we should have all been in bed. But it suddenly dawned on me that I was speaking to my children differently than I did the adults who sat at the same table just a while before. I would never speak to another adult by saying, “Hello, are you going to play this game or not?”

This incident however, helped me come to terms again with something I already knew—I should treat my children with as much respect as I do other people. When guests come over to my house, I don’t speak to them saying things like:

“Hurry up and close the door, Bro. Jones! Do you think I’m trying to heat the outdoors?”

“Sis. Jenkins, use your napkin. Don’t you have any manners?”

“Fred! Don’t put so much on your plate! Do you have a hollow leg?”

Humans tend to speak worst to the people who love them most. Dad, we’ve got to remember that we are not raising children. We’re raising adults. These individuals could be our lifelong friends, or we could develop in them a root of bitterness that they may fight for years to overcome.

We like to harp on our kids about how they should obey us, respect us, get our slippers, cook us breakfast (okay, now I’m dreaming). However, we must ask: Do I model respect for my children? Do I speak to them as if they are important people? If I am not respectful to my children, I can’t expect them to be respectful to each other.

No one enjoys hearing their children argue, insult each other, and fight among themselves or with their friends. While we must prevent and punish such poor social skills, Dad, we must also make sure we model proper behavior, too. If I yell at my wife and insult her in front of the kids, they would treat each other the same—and her too. Instead men, yell at your wife and insult her where no one can hear. Just kidding!

In all seriousness, our words and attitudes toward our families will affect their response toward each other. Invariably, if I am stressed out and grumpy, I will transfer that to my kids and soon have to separate a squabble. Before I can lay too heavy of a guilt trip on them, I must recognize my investment in their contention.

To change the way you speak, first change your heart. Stop thinking of your son as the brat who scratched the door of your SUV. Stop thinking of your daughter as the weak little thing that cries over spilled milk. Think of what these youngins will be. Think of your son as a man someday leading his own family. Speak to him the way you would want him talking to your grandkids. Show your daughter kindness, patience, and sympathy so that some day she can act the same toward others.

Remember, attitudes are caught, not taught.

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Dad, read this story with your kids:

Get Along, Guys!

“We’re going to the zoo! We’re going to the zoo!” Misty shouted as she ran up the stairs.

“Today?” Rusty asked, as he came out of his bedroom.

“Yes! It’s Saturday. Remember, big brother?”

“Wow! I’m going to bring my new camera,” Rusty said.

When the whole family was ready to go, Dad ordered, “Kids, get in the minivan.”

Rusty went outside into the brisk winter air wearing his puffy winter coat. Just as he got to the vehicle, Misty came running up behind him and pushed him out of the way. “No fair! I sit here this time!”

“Hey! I was here first!” Rusty said, grabbing the door handle.

“You two!” Mom scolded from behind them. “What are you fighting about?”

“He sat by the window last time, Mom!” Misty complained. “It’s my turn.”

“I got here first!” Rusty said.

“Come on, you two. We are going to have a good time today, not fight and argue.” Mom looked at Dad and said, “Hon, tell them to stop fighting.”

Dad climbed in behind the steering wheel and said, “Get along, guys. No more fighting.” Rusty climbed in and sat down behind his dad.

Misty sat down beside him and retorted, “Fine, but I get to sit next to the window on the way home.” She scowled at Rusty while she buckled her seatbelt. Then she turned and glared at the whole ten inches of space between her and the sliding door.

While Dad started the minivan, Misty whispered to Rusty, “And I’m not gonna’ share my new markers with you, either.” Misty and Rusty didn’t talk much on the trip.

When they arrived at the zoo, the family got out and headed for the gate. After the family entered the park, they stopped at the bathrooms and got something to drink. Misty took a big sip of her hot chocolate and looked up to see a girl sitting in a wheelchair by herself.

“Hi,” Misty said.

“Hello,” the girl answered.

“I like your pink sweater,” Misty said.

“Thanks. I got it for Christmas.”

“My name is Misty.”

“I’m Cassandra, but all my friends call me Cassie.”

“Are you all alone?” Misty asked.

“No,” Cassie answered with a quick shake of her short black curls. “My mom is up there getting me some hot coco.”

Misty glanced up at the counter and saw her mom talking to a woman beside her. “Is that your mom in the blue pants, Cassie?”

“Yeah, that’s her. Looks like she made a friend already.”

“Cool!” Misty said. “She’s talking to my mom, the one in the denim jumper. I guess if they can be friends, then we can be friends, too!”

“Awesome! I thought I’d be bored today.”

“Have you ever been here before, Cassie?”

“No. Have you, Misty?”

“Lots of times. I will show you around, okay?”

“Great!”

“How ‘bout if I push your wheelchair?”

Cassie shrugged, “I guess so, if mom doesn’t care.”

Misty noticed the leg casts and braces Cassie wore. “Is it okay to ask what happened to your legs?”

“I was in a car wreck.”

“Oh ouch! That must have been painful!”

“I guess so,” Cassie said slowly. “I don’t really remember it. I just woke up in the hospital with these bricks on my legs.”

“Will you ever walk again?”

“Yeah, but it will be forever. They say in a month I can start walking on crutches. That means I will have to ride the wheelchair school bus for at least three weeks!”

“At least you will walk again someday,” Misty responded. The girls’ moms came walking toward them and Misty asked, “Mom, can I push my new friend around in her wheelchair today? Her name is Cassie and she broke both her legs.”

“Oh dear, Cassie,” Misty’s mom said, “are you going to be all right?”

Cassie smiled and nodded her head. Cassie’s mom said, “she went for a ride with her stepbrother and his girlfriend the day after Christmas. His car went off the road on some ice.”

“Oh, the poor girl,” Misty’s mom said.

“Mom,” Cassie said, “can my new friend push me through the park?” Cassie and Misty’s moms discussed their plans for the day and discussed whether they could walk together.

Misty’s Dad said, “Well, why don’t you ladies hang out for a while, and Rusty and I will go look at some manly stuff, like lions and tigers.” They agreed on a time to meet up again, and the two groups split.

Misty pushed Cassie’s wheelchair down the sidewalk and into the big warm building where all the reptiles lived. Inside, they saw two big turtles with orange bellies, warming themselves under a heat lamp. At the next display, the girls groaned and gagged at the sight of the big, nasty snakes that had coiled together on a branch.

Misty pushed Cassie through the crocodile and alligator house, and then into the penguin arena. They saw penguins of all shapes and colors and sizes. Some had blue feathers, others had yellow, and some were just plain black and white. They were swimming, diving, and even sliding down a snow bank into the water. Next they saw polar bears swimming and eating fish.

Cassie was getting chilly from being in the outside displays, so Misty pushed her into the building labeled “Primates.” Inside they saw several crazy monkeys, screeching chimpanzees, and swinging orangutans. Misty rolled her friend up to a big glass wall where the gorillas lived.

“Hey, let’s see if we can find a gorilla,” Cassie said.

Misty walked over to the window and looked all around. “I think I see one over there,” she answered, pointing. “I think he’s eating.”

“Tap the glass and get him to come over,” Cassie told her.

“No, we aren’t supposed to tap the window,” Misty said. “But maybe I can get his attention like this,” and Misty started jumping up and down, waving her arms, causing her ponytail to swish back and forth.

Soon a gorilla came walking up to the window where the two girls could stare at him better. Its face looked mean and he frowned at them as he walked up on his fists and feet. He stopped at the glass and stared at Cassie.

“I think he’s trying to figure out what my wheelchair is,” Cassie giggled.

“Wave at him, Cassie,” Misty told her.

“Hey, ugly!” she said, waving both her arms. The gorilla frowned at her. Suddenly, he drew back his fist and punched the glass.

“Yipes!” Misty yelled. “He doesn’t like us! Let’s get out of here.” She grabbed the handles of Cassie’s wheelchair and pushed her away from the window.

“Wow, I thought that window would break when he hit it,” Cassie said as they hurried down the hall.

“Thank God for strong glass,” Misty replied. “He could have beat us up really bad!”

Soon, it was time for lunch. They attended a bird show, got to see a dolphin do some tricks, and soon it was time for the park to close. Misty got Cassie’s address and phone number so they could talk again, even though they lived a few hours apart.

An hour before the park closed, Misty and her mom met up again with Rusty and Dad. They had all enjoyed a great time and began talking about the things they had seen. Misty’s mom told Dad about how she got to witness to Cassie’s mom. She talked excitedly as the left the animal park.

As they made their way out the gate, their dad said, “All right, let’s go get something to eat.”

“Can we go to a restaurant?” Misty asked.

“Sure,” Dad winked.

“Yay!” she squealed. When Misty turned around she saw that Rusty was walking quickly to the minivan. “Hey, no fair!” she yelled as she sprinted toward him. “I get to sit there this time!”

Rusty was almost to the van when Misty caught up with him and slammed into him just before he got to the door. “I win! I win!” she yelled. She grabbed the door handle as Rusty fell to the ground.

“Yow!” Rusty shouted. He looked down at the sand and gravel stuck in his pant leg. “That hurt, Misty!”

“Guys, I thought we talked about this before we left. No fighting!” Dad said.

“Look at my leg,” Rusty moaned, as he rolled his pant leg up. “It’s all scraped up.”

Misty looked down and realized what she had done. “I’m sorry, Rusty. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Mom found an emergency kit under the seat and pulled out something to clean his scrape. While she took care of him, Dad spoke to Misty.

“Misty, didn’t you just spend the day being nice to a girl in a wheelchair?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s good, Misty. But why are you being nice to people you don’t know, while being rude and mean to someone you live with?”

Misty’s eyes clouded up with tears as she shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Dad put his hand on Misty’s shoulder and said, “Honey, look. Rusty is your brother. You are going to know him your whole life. Do you want to be his friend or his enemy?”

“His friend,” Misty sniffed.

“Maybe you need to think about some ways to show him that.”

“Okay.” Misty rubbed at her eyes.

“Now get in and buckle up—on this side, Misty.”

Soon, the whole family had loaded into the vehicle. As they pulled into the traffic on the busy street, Misty looked at Rusty and said, “I’m sorry.”

Rusty looked down at his pant leg with the dirt stain. “I’ll be okay,” he answered.

Misty smiled. “I want you to use my new markers on the way home.”

_______________________________

Why did Misty treat Cassie nicely?

Was it wrong for her to be nice to her new friend?

Why did Misty treat Rusty rudely?

Was it wrong for her to be mean to her brother?

Should we be nicer to our friends than our family?

What did Misty learn in this story?

Proverbs 20:3 says, “It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel” (New King James). How could Rusty have been more honorable in this story?

How can Rusty and Misty work out an agreement about the special seat in their van?

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Read the following scripture paraphrase with the family:
James 2:1-13
The Royal Rule of Love

My dear friends, don’t let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith. If a man enters your church wearing an expensive suit, and a street person wearing rags comes in right after him, and you say to the man in the suit, “Sit here, sir; this is the best seat in the house!” and either ignore the street person or say, “Better sit here in the back row,” haven’t you segregated God’s children and proved that you are judges who can’t be trusted?

Listen, dear friends. Isn’t it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the world’s down-and-out as the kingdom’s first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God. And here you are abusing these same citizens! Isn’t it the high and mighty who exploit you, who use the courts to rob you blind? Aren’t they the ones who scorn the new name—”Christian”—used in your baptisms?

You do well when you complete the Royal Rule of the Scriptures: “Love others as you love yourself.” But if you play up to these so-called important people, you go against the Rule and stand convicted by it. You can’t pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God’s law and ignoring others. The same God who said, “Don’t commit adultery,” also said, “Don’t murder.” If you don’t commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you’re a murderer, period.

Talk and act like a person expecting to be judged by the Rule that sets us free. For if you refuse to act kindly, you can hardly expect to be treated kindly. Kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time.

(James 2:1-13, from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 Eugene H. Peterson.)

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What does this passage say about treating some people better than others?

How do you think Jesus would act toward the person in nice clothes and the person in rags?

What is the difference between being respectful toward people and being a respecter of persons?

Share a time when someone ignored you or wouldn’t let you participate (play) with them. How did you feel? Why do you think they did that?

Role play: Two people have been in your house and something of yours was missing. The first person is a very popular, suave kind of person. The second is poor, doesn’t have much, and doesn’t get along with you. Who took your stuff?

What does Leviticus 19:15 say about this kind of issue?

“Misfit” kind of people feel rejection from the rest of the world. How do you think they will react if they feel the same exclusion from us who love Jesus?

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Click the below link to open a coloring page and memory verse for this week’s devotional. Print on a color printer in “landscape” format.

http://danieljkoren.com/101extras.pdf

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Memory verse:

Ephesians 4:32

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

What’s the Good Word?

“You idiot!  Can’t you get anything right?”

Does that sound like a drill sergeant?  A control-freak boss?  How about an exasperated dad?  Words can wound like war shrapnel.  Not only have you and I experienced destructive words, we’ve said them.

I still remember losing my cool with that bill collector about a decade ago.  He kept calling, trying to get me to pay a bill I didn’t owe.  After I unloaded both barrels of my opinion on him, I looked up to see my wife’s jaw drop.

Of course, we dads never let that carnal nature arise when we ... → Read More: New Year’s]]> For DAD Only:

What’s the Good Word?

“You idiot!  Can’t you get anything right?”

Does that sound like a drill sergeant?  A control-freak boss?  How about an exasperated dad?  Words can wound like war shrapnel.  Not only have you and I experienced destructive words, we’ve said them.

I still remember losing my cool with that bill collector about a decade ago.  He kept calling, trying to get me to pay a bill I didn’t owe.  After I unloaded both barrels of my opinion on him, I looked up to see my wife’s jaw drop.

Of course, we dads never let that carnal nature arise when we speak to our children.  Yeah, sure.  When we drag ourselves home and walk into a house that looks like a terrorist strike, we drop the A-bomb of harsh words, leveling every living thing in sight—kids, wife, even pets.

After we get what we want, like any good warring nation, we come back through our conquered domain and help rebuild: “Honey, I’m sorry, I’ve just had a long day.  Don’t cry.”  Or the ultimate patch job, “Kids, you know daddy loves you, right?  I shouldn’t have raised my voice, but we have to keep a clean house, okay?”

A B-52 bomber can either drop weapons of mass destruction or distribute food and supplies’ so our words can deliver hurt or healing.  If I let stress get to me, I pass it on to my family, who feels the brunt of my air raid.  Everyday, I must haul this old war machine into the hanger and be sure to load only peace-keeping supplies.

What’s the point of a clean home with anguishing personnel?  The bike in the driveway is not an act of war.  The underclothes on the bathroom floor are not radioactive landmines.  The child who makes us late to church because he can’t find his shoe is not a conspirator with al Queda.  Dad, we must put the issues in perspective.  No need for dispatching a smart bomb just because the milk got left out after breakfast.

Many times we take the passage in Ephesians that says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth” (4:29) to just mean we shouldn’t cuss.  However, this text refers to speech that makes others feel yucky.  We shouldn’t verbally smear our bad day at the office on our unsuspecting families.  Instead, that passage says our mouths should produce “what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

I have to work at imparting grace to the hearers in my home.  Somehow, dads, we tend to expect our families to be strong enough to hear us vent without taking it personal.  We find it natural to yell, “If you don’t shut up in that backseat, I’m going to pull this car over!” and then answer the cell phone, “Hello, Bro. Jones!  Wonderful day, isn’t it?”

Dad, you set the example for your home.  Lead your children by encouragement and clear direction, not by insult and threat.  Each day, find some uplifting thing you can say to each person living in your home.  Compliment your child for her drawing from school.  Make a big deal to your son when you find his bathroom free of clutter.

Words destroy or restore.  What mission will your mouth accomplish today?

Lord, help me to stay on target and speak uplifting words today.

______________

If you have loved ones, you need to learn how to communicate with them and be understood.  Get the book by Smalley and Trent called the Language of Love and start speaking powerfully in a way others will see, hear, and feel.

______________

Dad, read this story to your kids:

Word Gifts

The snow had begun to melt in Rusty and Misty’s backyard and they couldn’t sled on it anymore, or even make snowballs.

“Mom, can we go over to the parking lot next door?” Rusty asked his mom.  The apartment building next to their house always plowed the snow into big piles.  “They still have some snow and Misty and I want to make a snowman before it is all gone.”

Rusty’s mom looked out the window toward the lot next door.  “Well, all right.  But be sure you dress warm.”

Rusty put on his soft, blue hat and zipped up his black jacket while Misty pulled pink earmuffs onto her head and slipped on her silver coat.  After tying their boots, the two of them ran across the yard, through a squishy mud puddle, and up onto the snow pile.

“Yee-hoo!  I’m the king of the mountain!” Rusty yelled.

“Wee-hee!  I’m the queen of the mountain!” Misty said, as she struggled to keep her balance.

They both slipped down the side of the soft snow bank to build their snowman.  Soon, Rusty set to work scooping together an armful of snow until he had a big ball.  Misty helped him pack more on until it was so big the two of them could barely get their arms around it.

As Rusty finished the base, Misty started scooping together more snow to make the big snowball for their snowman’s belly.  Rusty came over and helped her roll it around until it was big and firm.

Just as they were lifting the second ball of snow up and putting it on the first one, three boys ran up on top of the snow mound.  It was the Peterson boys.

“Hey, guys,” Rusty said, rubbing his mitten against his nose.  “Did you have a good Christmas?”

“Christmas, mish-mas,” the older boy said.  “I get what I want all year long.”

“Yeah,” said the boy with glasses, “he just takes what he wants.”

“Hey, who asked you to talk?” said the first one.  “Dummies like you have to ask permission to speak, got it?”

Misty didn’t know what to say, but she wanted those boys to leave.  She just kept packing more snow onto the snowman.

Rusty looked at the boy with glasses and then back at the older Peterson boy.  “You shouldn’t say things like that, Dustin.”

“Oh, sorry.  I think I upset church-boy, here.”  Dustin looked at his two brothers, “C’mon, let’s get out of here before I get in the mood to smash that snowman.”  The boys laughed to each other as they jumped off the snow pile and hurried away.

“Those boys are so mean,” Misty said, once they had left.

“Don’t worry about them, Misty,” Rusty said.

Just then, Dustin came running back up on the snow pile.  “Hey, Rusty!” he yelled.  As Rusty looked up, the boy said, “I’ve got a present for ya’!”  Dustin threw a mud ball that splattered all over the front of Rusty’s jacket.

“Ouch!” Rusty said.  He looked down at the mess.

“Oh, sorry, Rusty.  I shouldn’t do things like that,” the boy said as he and his brothers hurried down the alley behind Rusty’s house, laughing as they went.

“Oh, Rusty!” Misty gasped, looking at his coat.

“Those guys make me so mad.”  Rusty stomped off toward the house with Misty running alongside him.

Inside, Rusty’s mom helped him get his coat clean right away.  “I’m going to have to talk to their mother again,” she said.  “Those boys need to stop causing trouble.”

By the time Rusty had finished washing his face and changing his shirt, his dad had come home.

After supper, Rusty’s dad had a suggestion.  “Guys, remember how we moved all the furniture around for the Christmas party last week?”

“Yes,” Misty said, “That was a so much fun.  I think we should have Christmas every month.”

Dad smiled.  “Well, now we need to move the furniture back where it was, so the couch isn’t blocking the fireplace like it is right now.”

Rusty walked over to the light brown couch and said, “Okay, Dad, you take one end, and we’ll push the other.  We’ll have everything back in no time.”

The three of them grunted and pushed all the chairs, couches, and little tables back into place.  Mom walked in the room just as they were finishing.

“This looks great guys,” she said.  “Thanks!”

Rusty walked over to the corner of the room and picked up a wrapped gift.  “Hey, look what I found!”

Mom came over to look, as she said, “Oops.  It looks like a gift got hidden back behind the couch.”  Rusty handed it to her.  “Let’s see who it’s from,” she said.  “Hmm… it says it’s from the Johnson’s to our family.”

“It must have gotten misplaced during the church party,” Misty said.

“Can we open it?” Rusty asked.

“Sure,” their dad said.  “Let’s see what it is.”

Mom took the silver bow off the gift and ripped open the paper.  She opened the white box and looked inside.

“It’s a snow globe!” Rusty announced.

The four gathered around to see the present.  Inside the glass ball, they saw a little stable with shepherds, animals, Joseph and Mary, and the baby Jesus in a hay bed.

“Shake it up!  Make it snow!” Misty said.  Mom shook it and sent the little white flakes swirling in the liquid inside.  “Oh, that’s so pretty!” Misty squealed.  “Can I do it?”

“Okay, but be careful,” her mother said with a grin.

Misty took it and shook it a little but didn’t get much snow to swirl.

“I want to try,” Rusty said.

Misty shook it harder this time.  Suddenly, it slipped out of her hands and bounced on the carpet.

Rusty jumped to grab the snow globe.  “You dummy, you could break it!”

“Rusty!” his father scolded.

“Dad, she almost broke it.”

Dad took the snow globe and set it on the coffee table.  “Listen guys, we don’t call names in this family.  Name calling is mean and hurtful.  Let’s sit down and talk about this for a minute.”

As Rusty and Misty sat down, their dad picked up the big family Bible.  “There’s a verse here in Proverbs that we should read.”  He turned a few pages and passed the big Book to Rusty.  “Here, Son, read this verse.”

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof,” Rusty read.

“What does that mean?” Misty asked.

“Our tongues can produce good words—words of life.  Or our tongues can put out bad things—words of death,” dad said.

“The Peterson boys use bad words all the time,” Misty said.  “They say mean things and call each other names.”

“Yeah,” Rusty added, “and they threw a mud ball at me!”

Dad put his hand on his son’s shoulder and said, “Rusty, mean words are just like that mud ball.  They hurt.  They make you mad.  And they leave a big mess.”

“Wow, I never thought of it that way,” Rusty said.  “Sorry, Misty,” he said.

“I forgive you, Rusty.”

Dad picked up the snow globe and shook it until the snow swirled around the manger scene.  “But good words are like this present we found behind the couch.  Our tongues should say things that are happy surprises, not mean surprises.  Our words should make people smile, not frown.”

“So, we should give word gifts.  Right, Dad?”

“Yes, honey.”

“I will try to do that,” Rusty said.

“Great.  So, try to give as many ‘word gifts’ to each other as you can today.”

Rusty looked at Misty and asked, “Hey, do you want to go finish that snowman?”

“Sure!  Can we, Dad?” Misty asked.

“Yes,” dad said, “let me get my coat and I’ll help you.”

“All right!” they both yelled.

_______________________________

Use the following questions to get your kids talking:

How do you feel when someone calls you names?

Why do you think kids call each other names?

How should we respond when people say mean things to us?

How did Jesus act when people said mean things to Him?

Have one of the children read I Peter 2:23. “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (NIV)

Rusty washed his coat and his face after he got hit by the mud ball.  How is this like the way we should respond to people’s mean words?

Explain to your children that they must “wash” themselves of the dirty things people say.  Children need to understand that classmates’ teasing and nicknames must be ignored.

_______________________________

Read the following scripture with the family:

Fire, Poison, and Blessing

My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment.  For we all stumble in many things.

If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.  Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body.  Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires.  Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.

See how great a forest a little fire kindles!  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.  But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.  Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.  Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?  Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring can yield both salt water and fresh.

(James 3:1-12, New King James Version, © 1983, used with permission.)

_______________________________

Discussion for older family members:

Do you remember a time someone hurt you with their words?

Can our words trip other people up and cause them to not follow God?

What are some things this passage says the tongue is like?

Horse bridle, ship rudder, hell fire, poison, a spring.

What do these images tell us about the tongue and our words?

Does God care about what we say?  What does Jesus say about this in Matthew 12:36-37?

Read the memory verse in Proverbs 18:21.  How can we give life to people with our words?

Put it in action: Have each person share something good about everyone else in the family.

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Memory verse:

Proverbs 18:21

“Death and life

are in the power of the tongue:

and they that love it

shall eat the fruit thereof.”