“Do not make an image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above…” (UNLESS IT’S HOLOGRAPHIC!)

Also, Peace Corp rejection and my inhaler.

Before that happened, though, my friend was out jogging or something, and decided it would be a good time to pick up the CD he had asked me for some couple of days ago. I was still in PJs, so he came up to the door, and I handed him the CD. He said “Thanks.” Then he went on his way.

But I guess my sister heard him talk/cough, and ran to go to tell my mother about it. They came to the conclusion that I had let a man into the house and we partied all morning… or something. Whatever I did, it was bad. I got chewed out. I told my friend later, and he said something like, “Your family is awesome. Like, you’re that quick and neat, they don’t need evidence of anything, but they still genuinely feel you could pull it off. They must think you can rob banks and cheat on SAT’s and shit, too. I wish my parents believed in me that much.”

Which is a very good way to turn it around and boost my ego~ And it’s true. They do believe in me an obscene amount. It would be nice if they didn’t jump to bad conclusions, but what am I gonna do?

Anyway, volunteering. There were four classrooms and rotations, and I went with the first and second graders everywhere.

First, they learned about St. Patrick’s day. (“What kind of holiday is it?” asked the teacher. “Leprechaun!” said Irene.) I got to hand out the snacks.

Then, they ate ice cream. Oh, while they were waiting for their turns to get ice cream, I told them jokes. Which was awesome. I like lame jokes, and everyone’s heard my jokes, but not these kids! They loved the jokes. “What do you call a tiger with carrots in his ears? Anything you want. He can’t hear!” I started a riot with the “boobies” joke, though. (What kind of bees don’t make honey? BOOBIES.) I hope I don’t get in trouble.

Next was the scavenger hunt. This is when they started warming up to me. Myra asked me if a scavenger hunt was like an Easter egg hunt, and yes it is, so I told her she did a good job seeing the connection. Caroline was like my shadow. She was right next to me the whole time, telling me about her family. Poor Carlos had to go to the restroom, and of course, all the kids suddenly wanted to go, too. So, we had to go as a class. I figured out I could turn on the bathroom lights (they were scared of the dark, aww) by flipping a tiny switch with a bobby pin. Caroline helped me along with her bobby pin.

Last was a board game session. Irene asked me to sit next to her, and Diamond played with my hair, and Isaiah, who arrived pissed off, calmed down. We played “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?” They asked me multiple times if I had kids, or if I was married, or if I was going to get married. No, no, no.

We had to head back to the original classroom, so the parents could pick them up. Irene and Diamond held my hands on the way there. I had to let go so they could stand in a straight line with everyone else. We watched Shrek while parents walked in quietly to pick their kids up.

I can’t wait to go back!

I don’t have much to say right now, but what I do have to say is big!

As such, I’d like to thank the woman who has had the most influence on my life. Her name is mom. (Actually, Gladis.)

I have been a needy little thing all my life. Until about 12 years old, I was constantly sick. Now, I need a lot of support (both financial and emotional). Either way, my mother has never been angry at me for it. She has never made me feel like I was the one to blame. In addition to that, whenever I needed something she couldn’t give me, she would confront whoever could. Without going into too many details, the last feud was with her insurance provider over my depression medication.

I remember when my sister was in junior high, they tried to change my mother’s work schedule. She wouldn’t have been able to pick my sister up after school. My mother fought and fought until they agreed to keep her schedule the way it was. She lost some friends in her work place because of it, since they thought she thought she was special or something. She didn’t think that. She has also fought for others in her work place when they were being pushed around.

What’s amazing is that my mother never asked for any of it. Again, without going into too many details, she was pushed into marriage by my grandmother. While her parents were willfully ignorant and tried to keep her ignorant in terms of sex education, my mother has always talked to me about anything I needed to know. She always emphasizes that if I ever find myself in trouble, like, with a venereal disease or accidentally pregnant, she’ll rip my head off, but then she’ll do everything she can to help me through the situation. I’ve promised her that if anything horrible like that ever happens, I’ll let her know.

She also says that if I am, or anyone I know is, ever sexually assaulted, no matter what, it is not our fault, and before we do anything, we need to report it so that the rapist can be persecuted and so that no one else needs to go through that because of him. This is probably common sense stuff, but it is respectfully radical compared to what her parents told her.

My mother is a beautiful woman who cares about herself and her children. She is aware of bullshit and rejects it. I love her.

Sometimes I get made fun of now for my opinions. It’s a different kind of upsetting, but it reminds me of grade school. It’s like the further away you are from neutral on anything, the more likely it is you’ll end up a joke. Take a step in any direction, even an unimportant direction, and someone will find you weird and therefore, hilarious.

Now that I think about it, it’s kind of sad for the people who make fun of others. If you’re close enough to neutral to feel safe making fun of others, you are probably boring. Boring. God. How do these people live with themselves?

Then there’s the whole issue of bringing up something no one cares about. Imagine if someone next to you brought up that some kid’s shoes were ugly. The kid doesn’t care. Why the hell does the person next to you care? Tell them to find something else to worry about. There are problems all over the world. Tell them to pick a random place and start worrying about whatever is going on there. Or tell them to worry about themselves. They’re probably boring. Tell them to work on their personality. Most of all, regarding the kid’s shoes, tell them to get over it already.

Vlog #4! It’s about me going to Sante Fe Springs yesterday. It cost $30 and took 6 hours to get there and back, which is why I mention spending money out of nowhere. Also, it turned out to be unnecessary, but I’m not angry. I’d rather be out (and spending money) than staying home (and saving money). That’s really bad, huh?

It feels like I’ve been doing tons of things, so I’m stressed, but really, I’m just unorganized. If I were organized, it would feel like less work. So, I need to do something so I don’t fall behind on the stuff I need to get done. You know, all three tasks. I’m a wimp.

Otherwise, I’ve been good. I apologize for this craptacular post, but tomorrow is vlog day! I’ll be talking about my trip today to Sante Fe Springs. Um. Be here or be square?

I wonder what she was thinking at that moment. It feels like it would be safe to bet that she wasn’t thinking about improving society. It was a really smug happiness. Like she had won a game. That kind of happiness doesn’t come from helping people. Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi wouldn’t have bragged into a camera like that.

Same with the people who catch terrorist suspects. I know they’re not thinking, “All right, yes! We caught him! We’re going to restore all the good things this person is trying to ruin—democracy, human rights, justice! Yes!” because apparently, they’re torturing these people.

Who was the philosopher that said we do everything because there’s something in it for us? And even when there’s nothing concrete in it for us, we do it because it’ll make us feel good about ourselves?

Well, I don’t know. What do people think when they do a good deed? It makes me feel like a bad person to admit, but last time someone came to me for advice on going vegetarian, I wasn’t thinking, “Yay! We’re saving animals!” At least, that wasn’t the first thing I thought.

How much of the world is doing good things for the “I win!” feeling?

On Saturday, I got a really strong urge to help someone. I found Think Together, which is a non-profit organization that provides after-school programs for grades K-12. I love kids, and they serve my old grade school, so I signed up to volunteer.

Today, I went to a volunteer orientation. About 25 people showed up, which was way more than I expected. Throughout the presentation, Disneyland kept coming up. I was like what. But I just ignored it.

I found out eventually that Disneyland is having a promotion called Give a Day, Get a Disney Day. Which means that most of those people found out about the organization because Disneyland is giving them free tickets for four hours of volunteering! WHAT.

Needless to say, I am now signed up for that. (I’m becoming a regular volunteer afterward, though.)

The whole volunteer orientation was a big “Surprise, Diana! You’re going to Disneyland!” How exciting is that?

I found out I’m going to a volunteer orientation on Wednesday, so I decided to do a vlog today so I could focus my Wednesday energy on the orientation. (I’m gonna volunteer at my old grade school’s after-school program!)

Doing this vlog, seriously, it was like being back in gym class in 12th grade. Oh, and also, I mention Josh in this one, and also, Josh just did his first vlog, and it’s funny and awesome (DUH), so go see Josh’s, yes? YES.