And generally it is.

If you continually make moronic decisions that impact your quality of life AND then have the nerve to whine and whinge about it.

GTFO.

If you want to bring a child into the world when you’re barely scrapping by AND refuse to get off your ass and get a job.

GTFO.

If you are struggling to the point where you have to ask for donations and yet still refuse to look for a job.

GTFO.

If you decide to give your two cents about every damn topic you come across when you have experience in none of the areas you’re “preaching” about.

GTFO.

I really don’t like people.

What gave it away?

Sims 3 University Life came out this past Tuesday and in case you didn’t get it, you should. I haven’t really had a chance to sit down and truly play it but I did try it out and mess around with dorms to see how the game played. So far, so good.

I’m in the middle of redoing my world and setting up the University world so that it has a Simbucks¹ and probably a Burger Sim² and Simskin Robins³.

I do eventually want to re-organize my custom content so it’s easier for me to figure out where I got content but right now the task is quite daunting. Plus, I don’t really want to have to deal with converting my sims3packs into packages.

Anyway, I’m off to finish my world and hopefully get my Sims moved in!

I really need to get out more.

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

A few weeks ago, Woot featured a NEW Blue Yeti microphone for $84 with $5 shipping. I simply could NOT pass on the offer. I ended up ordering one because my intent is to use it for a podcast I’d like to start on one of my websites.

I haven’t yet tried it and in fact it’s still sitting in it’s box but I’m really excited to see how well it works. I still have some cleaning to do in the office which is why I’ve held off on setting it up but you can definitely expect a review once I’ve used it!

In the United States that is. I find that to be very interesting. Though, I always knew I didn’t really have a common name given that no one could pronounce it correctly when I was younger but wow, 3 people!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I was curious so I also did a search to see how many people I shared my maiden name with and it’s actually quite a lot more. Funny, because I always thought my married name was more of a common last name than my maiden name.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I decided to do some housecleaning which meant checking for broken links, updating information, and removing the Dailybooth picture I had on the sidebar. I also changed the font to give the layout more of a different feel. Hopefully, I’ll have a new layout within the next few weeks in addition to a change of content.

In the meantime, I am holding a giveaway on my personal blog: Paradoxical Me which you should all check out. There’s a little over 9 days to enter so I encourage you to do before it’s too late!

Giveaway

Paradoxical.Me is giving away one travel sized blogging planner.

Image Credit: Blogging Planner

Giveaway Guidelines

• Start date: 02/17/13 at 8:00am MST
• End date: 03/03/13 at 11:59pm MST
• Winner will be notified via email, and has 48 hours to respond.
• Giveaway is open to US entries.

Enter Giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway

So I know it’s been ages since I blogged and I haven’t really shown much interest in this blog. Reason being is because I have a new personal blog: Paradoxical which I have been using semi-regularly.

I do still plan on keeping TQB, however there will be some changes. This blog is going to be more of an opinionated blog about the crap that pisses me off. I have already requested a revamp so a new design will be in the works in the next couple of weeks.

Until then, please feel free to hit up my personal blog!

I found that this whole blogging thing doesn’t suit me… well not consistent blogging¹. Namely because I find that I’m boring and I get bored blogging about myself. I fantasize a lot about how cool it would be to be a superhero or a vampire… vampires are awesome minus the whole bloodsucking thing but I think I’d be okay with it given that I wouldn’t have much of a choice– food source and all.

So yeah back to me and the whole blogging thing and the fact that I suck at it and I’m talking hardcore fail. Not even that I suck a little– but that I suck a lot. I won’t make any promises and tell people that will change because it probably won’t. I’m lazy and would rather spend my time making up stories in my head, casting spells, or bashing people’s heads² in than I would blogging about my not so entertaining life.

I keep telling myself I should create a schedule that details what I’d write about each day of the week BUT I am an Aquarius and I HATE routine so then I talk myself out of it. Now, I’m wondering if that’s probably the best thing to do. I have two blogs– yeah I don’t know why either, I can barely keep up with 1 but I suppose I’m rather in love with the idea of blogging even if I fail at it; maybe that will be my resolution in 2013– keep up with all my blogs, chyeah I thought the same thing too. It’s okay, you can laugh at me, I don’t mind.

So I have officially self declared myself the neglecter of blogs– now where’s my award?

Life lately has been interesting. I’ve made some new friends who have managed to preoccupy me from work and made my day a little more bearable. I’m listening to music again, something I used to love doing but stopped for some reason or another. I can’t really say. Either way, this is one of my favorite songs from Kate Voegele. Definitely worth giving it a listen.

So the story goes on down
The less traveled road
It’s a variation on
The one I was told
And although it’s not the same
It’s awful close, yeah

In an ordinary fairy tale land
There’s a promise of a perfect happy end
And I imagine having just short of that
Is better than nothing

So you’ll be mine
Forever and almost always
And I’ll be fine
Just love me when you can
And I’ll wait patiently
I’ll wake up every day
Just hoping that you still care

In the corner of my mind I know too well
Oh that surely even I deserve the best
But instead of leaving
I just put the issue to bed
And outta my head

Oh and just when I believe
You’ve changed for good
Well you go and prove me wrong
Just like I knew you would

When I run out of second chances
You give me that look
And you’re off the hook

Because you’re mine
Forever and almost always
And I’m fine
Just love me when you can
And I’ll wait patiently
I’ll wake up every day
Just hoping that you still care

Oh, what am I still doing here?
Oh, it’s all becoming so clear

You’ll be mine
Forever and almost always
It ain’t right to just love me when you can
Oh I won’t wait patiently
Or wake up everyday
Just hoping that you’ll still care

Forever and almost always
No it ain’t right
To just love me when you can, baby
Ain’t gonna wait patiently
I won’t wake up everyday
Just hoping that you still care

Let’s face it– my last few blogs have been meager– to put it nicely and as per standard I’m full of excuses as to why, but I won’t get into that. Instead, let’s do a brief update on what’s been going on the past few months.

Work is… well it’s work. It’s frustrating and tiresome and there are days when I simply want to just lay in bed under the covers and never come out. I suppose we all have days like that at some point, unfortunately I find that I am having many more days like that and recognize that it is probably time for me to take a break but truth be told, taking a break only prevents me from completely and utterly breaking down; it doesn’t actual solve the underlying issue but I digress.

Life is, well life. Nothing overly interesting, other than Robby and I having our house back again. No more roommates, just us. It’s nice, actually. I thought I’d be miserable and lonely but honestly? I love it. Plus there’s the fact that I get to walk around naked again; though if I’m honest I haven’t actually been really doing it that much. I guess I’ve just gotten used to having to dress in the morning so it’s hard to break that habit.

It’s probably a good thing as my little sister has plans to move in with us this summer and continue her education out here. I’m excited actually. It’s kind of funny that growing up I hated her and thought she was obnoxious and bratty but I find that now that she’s older we have quite a lot in common and we seem to understand each other’s interests better than the other members of our family. It’s probably one of the reasons she chose to move out with us over my other sister. Nonetheless, I can’t wait!

Let’s see… what else?

Oh! Robby and I are trying to get pregnant. This month’s the first official month but I have a feeling that with my increase stress level it’s just not going to happen. I did make some changes in my diet though. I no longer drink caffeine. I am eating more fruits and vegetables. I have stopped mixing carbohydrates with protein 95% of the time and I am trying to gain weight; though unsuccessfully because I have not yet gotten back to drinking my nutritional supplements which seemed to help me in the past. I’ll start up again eventually but I’m just trying to get my body re-accustomed to eating 3 meals a day again since I have the tendency to snack throughout the day killing my appetite.

Overall, I’d say I’m 80% satisfied with my life. A lot of the dissatisfaction is a direct result of things I cannot control at work but I’m hoping eventually that will change. I would promise to blog more but I’m not going to pretend that’s going to be the case. Life tends to get ahead of me sometimes; more often than not.

I seriously never win anything and because of that I never bother entering for anything because honestly, what’s the point?! But when I saw this amazing give away sponsored by Sparkling Reviews, I just couldn’t NOT enter– so wish me luck! And hey you can try your luck to and enter!

Just wanted a place to house this useful information and design ideas in our endeavors to redecorate our home:

Links

http://www.potterybarn.com/products/bedford-project-table-set/?pkey=cdesks-home-office

http://www.vintagewoodworks.com/beadboard.html

If you are logged in you have not been granted the necessary user rights to view this content. If you have any questions regarding your level of access, feel free to contact me.

So given all the commotion that’s been happening in my life the last few months, new dog, bigger responsibilities at work, school, and new housemates¹, I haven’t really had a chance to announce the newest member to the Beckman pack.

Sadly, it’s not a baby but she’s still very cute, regardless!

Meet Jinx

Well, this is what she looked like when we first got her which was the first few weeks in October². But this is what she looks like now…

And she’s not even full grown yet.

I’m fairly certain I’m going to cry when she is…

But in the meantime…

Isn’t she just precious?!!!

I’ve been fairly absent the last few weeks and while I could blame it on my busy life, which is certainly a factor, I have to admit that the internet is just no longer the same place for me. What I used to have interest in has waned and I have no desire to participate in some of the activities that made the internet so entertaining and exciting for me. I think in a sense I’ve kind of grown past a lot of the activities I once thought I would never be able to live without. Forums no longer hold an appeal for me and I find that I’m not as interested in sharing parts of my life as I once was. In a sense, blogging now is what it once was and should have always remained: therapy.

It’s serves as an outlet to deal with and perhaps also deconstruct what I’m not capable of doing out loud. It provides a place for my thoughts, however dark or insecure and yet in a lot of ways it is serves somewhat as a sanctuary, though I am still hesitant to share the deepest parts of myself for fear that it will be used against me. Last weekend we cleaned out the garage and I ended up stumbling on a journal I kept in my youth. Reading through the pages made me realize just how much I have changed and how much I have grown. I was such an angry and hateful youth that I often wonder how I managed to become the person I am today. I suppose a lot of that was based on trial and error– both in my relationships and the decisions I made which have lead me to where I am now.

Life has been nothing but a journey for me. I’ve made friends and lost them. Fallen in and out of love and have constantly changed and grown both in good and bad ways. I’m becoming more responsible in my decisions and of what I expect when and if I should ever raise a family. I’ve come to accept in some measure that I may never have the opportunity and rather than feel sad or depressed about it, I recognize that could be the cards that I am dealt.

The hey to life is perhaps not to try and control it, rather to instead to react as best as you can to whatever it throws your way.

Last night I got to thinking– about a lot of things really, a moment of epiphany which made me realize the importance of this year’s festivities in light of the coming holiday. I’m not a perfect person and have never claimed to be. I make my fair share of mistakes, probably more than I’d like to admit but my heart has always, in most situations, been in the right place.

I’ve caused my fair share of hurt and experienced that same hurt in return but I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes and through the mistakes of others, enough to know and recognize who it is I want to be and the lessons I hope to one day instill in my progeny.

I’ll be the first person to admit I have a lot of trust issues, more than I’d like to admit and more than I care to show. It takes a lot for me to give my trust, even more so to prevent the pessimist in me from believing those close to me will inevitably hurt me and I’ll end up alone; as a result I wield my trust as my only weapon to protect myself, once earned, I trust freely, without hesitation but should that trust every be broken, even if I should forgive the one who broke it, it’s never fully restored and things as much as I’d like, do not ever return to that of which they once were. Instead, I begin to question a lot of things, doubt my self, and withdraw into a place where I can no longer be hurt. Such is the hurt I’ve had to endure and such is the result of the actions of others. Nothing is ever as it seems, a lesson that I learn time and time again.

With that being said, I find that this year, I am most thankful for the ones who have not broken my trust. Who’ve given me no reason to doubt or question motives or even question my own.

I am not one with many friends, very few in fact but I’d like to think that the friends I do have, the people I have chosen to surround myself with, most in distance places, these are the ones who I can trust with my secrets, with my pain, and with my tears.

It is within the darkest hours when you find who your true friends are; I am fortunate that I have a few true friends, when some have none.

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured out

-Lifehouse

If you are logged in you have not been granted the necessary user rights to view this content. If you have any questions regarding your level of access, feel free to contact me.

I’ll be the first to admit that when it comes to words and spelling, I suck.

No, seriously.

For instance, my last blog title? I had to google dilemmas to make sure I spelled it correctly. Yup that’s right. And it still doesn’t look right to me.

Though come to think of it there are several words that don’t look right when you spell them out.

Top on that list is convenient. I always feel like I’m missing an “e” or something. It’s pretty pathetic. I think a large part of that though is because of the way convenience is spelled. Tricky little bastard!

And then there’s obsessed. I often misspell this because I forget that there is an “s” that comes after the b. So usually it’ll read as “obessed”—embarrassing right?

Oh and then there’s the word embarrass – how many fucking r’s and s’s should there be?

I’m proud of myself because I actually spelled obsessed and embarrass correctly the first time (without the help of spellcheck, mind you)—okay more like I spelled embarrassing correct, not so much embarrass.

So what does this all boil down to? I’d be an absolute mess without spellcheck. It wouldn’t look pretty and I’m fairly certain I’d drive my readers (those who do actually read– half the time I’m fairly certain I’m talking to myself) mad. So thanks spellchecker, you rock!

What about you? Where would you be without it?

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to balancing my personal life, work and blogging I pretty much fail at the concept. Often times I am so wrapped up in work that I do not touch my personal computer until the end of the work week which is odd for me. I used to be the type that had to constantly check my blog, Veracity, and Facebook on a daily basis and now? I’m lucky if I even get a day where that is the case. It’s beyond frustrating but I just don’t know how to balance life, work, and the internet.

What worries me even more is that I plan on returning to school in January and I know that is only going to make things worse. Any ounce of free time will be devoted to my school work so I’m at a loss as to what I should do. What works for everyone else? How can you balance family, work, and life alongside keeping your blog active? How do you manage to have enough time for “real” life and your internet life? What tips and tricks can you offer me?

I’m really contemplating going back on a routine which if anyone knows me knows I hate routine. I’m an Aquarian and repetition does not bode well for me but I kind of feel that I don’t have a choice at this point. Maybe I should start making a point to wake up at a specific time every morning so I have time to eat breakfast, walk the dogs and do my daily internet tasks. I just don’t know. It worked for me when I wasn’t working a morning schedule but I’m not sure if it will now unless I start waking up as some G-d awful time in the morning.

All I know is that I miss my internet life and I miss the connection I had with some individuals and I miss some people I’m close to on the net, period.

So what do I do? Help!

The first time I ever heard this song after the events of 9/11 I cried and to this day it still gives me chills and causes me to tear up. 10 years ago many lives were lost in a senseless act of terror. My heart goes out to those who lost love ones and to this country. It is a day that changed the course of everyone’s life, whether they were directly effected or not, and it is a day that I will always remember.

To those who serve and have served in the military, I salute you for your service and for reminding us that freedom is not without cost.

Little Did She Know She’d Kissed A Hero – Kristy Jackson
He found some socks
She chose his tie
And when he left for work that morning he was just another guy
Going to work
He’d have to fly
Out to a meeting in L.A. so she had kissed him twice goodbye

Little did she know she’d kissed a hero
Though he’d always been one in her eyes
But when faced with certain death
He’d said a prayer and took a breath
And led an army of true angels in the sky
Little did she know she’d kissed a hero
Though he’d always been an angel in her eyes
Putting others first, it’s true
That’s what heroes always do
Now he doesn’t need a pair of wings to fly

The phone had rung
His voice was calm
Before he could tell her anything she knew something was wrong
I love you so
The last words he’d said
She said I love you too
And then the phone went dead

Little did she know she’d kissed a hero
Though he’d always been one in her eyes
But when faced with certain death
He’d said a prayer and took a breath
And led an army of true angels in the sky
Little did she know she’d kissed a hero
Though he’d always been an angel in her eyes
Putting others first, it’s true
That’s what heroes always do
Now he doesn’t need a pair of wings to fly