Didn't I Just Do This?

This Snow White Needs to Toss Her Tivo

2011-11-14T09:03:00.002-05:00

I hit the snooze button on my alarm too many times, too often. I wait until Monday to start my diet. Again. Wasting time has become my hobby and my career. I watch TV between times I have to be somewhere. A lot of TV. I do love my TV. And then one day it occurs to me that a decade has passed. What am I waiting for? Adventure? Maybe. A challenge? Probably. A story line? Definitely. I am living my life like a Tivo on pause. There is a plot, there are amazing twists and turns, action, romance, drama, laughter and tears. And challenges? More than I can handle some days. While I watch my favorite sitcoms, my adventurous life is a dozen shows down on the playlist, begging to unfold.

The latest addition to my recorded collection is Once Upon A Time, Sundays on ABC. Seems all those fairy tale characters we know and love are stuck in the real world under a curse and they are forced to live hum drum lives as ordinary citizens in a small town. Being that my brain works quite well when pondering pretend dilemmas, I had an epiphany. I am Snow White. Born a princess, adored by her father and her prince, cast away by wickedness, awakened by true love's kiss. And now, instead of happily ever after, I am walking around this world being a tiny fraction of the person I was created to be. She is still a sweet, kind and gentle lady, but she is clueless of the woman she once was. In her real life, she was also bold and bright and tough enough to fight the trolls and defy the witch and give that prince some major attitude before letting him win her heart. How disappointing that she now chooses to live in a safer and easier but oh, so much more tiresome reality.

I am Snow White, and I am going to live like I know it! Now is the time for a career change. Wasting this life is my curse, and I'm breaking free from it for good! Watch me make my fairy tales come true as I embark on my real existence as a woman, wife, mother, and writer. No more sleepwalking through this life. I've registered for my first writer's conference and joined the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators. This is my adventure and I intend to play this story out. Stay tuned.

2010-08-10T13:16:00.000-04:00

SO I have learned that watching the scale is not working for me. I have decided to find a new focus: Spend more time doing something crazy with my husband. Eyebrows raised? P90X is our new fun. Hottie ordered it from the tee-vee and he loves it, but he only has fun if I am there beside him, looking like an uncoordinated Sid the Sloth with no muscular abilities for push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups or any kind of other -ups. I will not continue to bore you with my progress (or lack thereof), but if I do somehow see some changes after a few or many of our little dates with Tony Horton, I will let you know.

For now, though, I intend to schedule in some quiet blogging time once a week. No idea what I will say, but I pray that God will enlighten me with cleverness on Thursday mornings. =] See you then!

Jillian Michaels Is Just So Mean To ME!

2010-01-12T09:40:00.001-05:00

Okay, this is not really me and no, she didn't actually come through my TV and scream in my face. But, still! She is mean to me! She made me do squats and crunches and lunches lunges. HAHA That was honestly what I typed first. Lunches! HAA! Oh, man. I'm in trouble. And my knees hurt. And, AND she made me do all that and more all before my breakfast of coffee and donuts. I know, right?! Cruel. She hates me.

Just kidding. I had green tea and nut bread for breakfast. Really. C'mon! I am telling you the truth!

I'm hungry. And did I mention my knees hurt?

Friday's weight was 180.

So I am going to let Jillian torture me all she wants.

Thank you for your attention and sympathy. Have a nice day. =]

Did you HEAR that?!

2009-12-31T11:23:00.001-05:00

Oh, man! I just love Buddy! He is one of those holiday movie characters that just wriggle their way right into your heart and before long, they are as much a part of your old-fashioned family Christmas as Charlie Brown and Clark "Sparky" Griswold. But Buddy. Oh, Buddy. He's got me answering my phone with a "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?" Because of him, I love to tell people their faces are so pretty they should be on Christmas cards. I truly feel that every to-do list should end with "and then we'll snuggle". I'm even starting to believe he's right about the four main food groups. Candy, candy canes, candy corn, and --say it with me-- SYRUP!

I mean, just look at him guzzling that soda. Who hasn't wished they had the guts (no pun intended) to try to down a 2-liter in one gulp? Just replace his head with mine and make it a Dr. Pepper bottle. Sweet! oops, another pun...

This brings me to my point: that my successful weaning from caffeine and sugar before the holidays was all for naught. I have fallen off the coffee-soda-every cookie in sight-candy, candy, candy, syrup-wagon. But, BUT! The mother of all Mondays is coming up. The first Monday of a new year! This is a very exciting place to be. Right here on the cusp of a new era. Standing on the edge between before and after. What a view! It's wide open and I can see anything, anything is possible. How depressing if every time I gained weight, it was permanent. How utterly hopeless if I could never start over and try again. How meaningless a life if there were no way to make up for past mistakes.

Aren't we just the best blessed children of the Lord? We get so many chances, do-overs after every mistake. Clean slates. Why? Grace. It is all wrapped up in that one little word. Who can understand it? Who can know why we are so freely given something we can never earn? Thank you, Lord! Praise you, Father! I praise you for the forgiveness and the chance to do better. And I praise you for the consequences of my mistakes, as well. May I learn from them as I draw nearer to you in the year to come. May I do better, be better, and live better, in Your Name.

Happy New Year!
Oh yeah, and I weigh 178 today.

Here I Go Again, Getting Physical

2009-12-05T09:00:00.003-05:00

disclaimer: Let's Get Physical is the title of an early 80s song and Here I Go Again is the title of a late 80s song. I am explaining this because I do realize not everyone speaks in song lyrics like me and not everyone is old enough to remember and/or appreciate 80s music, like me.

Fast approaching is another Monday. If you are anything like me, (oh, please be something like me! don't leave me all alone out here in Crazytown) then you know what that means. Time to start the weight loss program. Again.

Well, this time I'm serious! I bought a yoga mat and the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD. It is on! Like Donkey Kong! At the end of this post I will type in my weight as of yesterday morning. It will be an icky moment for me, but way back when I started this blog I said I would post my weight to keep me straight and on the path to good health and good "after" photos. My only hope is that it will encourage others and myself to watch it go down while I am heading for my goal weight. Also, the utter shame of posting higher numbers than the last post should be quite a motivator. Ugh!

I will check in here now and then to update my status as I move from soft and pudgy mama to kick-ass hot mama!

180lbs. Oh, boy.

updates from your absentee blogger

2009-10-08T10:35:00.001-04:00

I know you don't hear so much from me lately, so I was thinking you might wonder what's new with me. I have compiled a list. You know I just love to make lists. Lists give me joy and a sense of accomplishment. I wonder how it would feel to cross off the things on my lists.
Like this:
laundry
scrub bathrooms
pull weeds in flower bed
lose unwanted but very attached extra pounds
Wow! That does feel good! Maybe I'll try that for real. Except the laundry. I can never cross that off the list. You know we'll never be done with the laundry, because if we were, we'd be naked. I digress. Here's my list of new news: (sadly, though, there's not much new about it)

I weigh as much as I did when I started this thing.
Home schooling rocks! I am planning a field trip a week and chores is an official subject.
Blogging is on my to-do list. So is training for another marathon.
My hottie and I are developing a family mission statement.
I miss MOPS and plan to be a field leader next year.
Fall is my favorite season, so I am very busy creating my own since South Florida refuses to cooperate. My a/c is set to 65 and I am spray painting the leaves on my Hibiscus.
Also on my to-do list---do something cool so I can blog about it.

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day.

2009-10-07T17:33:00.000-04:00

My hottie husband asked me to send an email to a friend of his who has been thinking about maybe considering possibly perhaps home schooling her three boys. Would I have any advice or information to pass along? Who me? I just love to talk about this subject. It's my favorite subject. Besides lunch and recess, of course.

After sending the email, he suggested I post it here and I thought that was a pretty cool idea. So, if any of you are wondering why I decided to home school or are considering maybe perhaps possibly thinking about fixin' to gonna just might want to home school, here ya' go:

There were many factors that played into our decision as to why to home school our boys.
To name a few:

Oldest son’s health

Middle school was insane: teachers (although some were nothing short of wonderful), staff, policies, kids, the building itself made me feel like I was dropping my son off at juvie hall or the set of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, depending on the day

desire for a more peaceful home environment built around what we think is important, not the school system

We want to be able to travel and show the boys our country as we learn about its history and heritage.

growing concern over the influence of their peers

The more I read about home schooling, the more I felt it was the best thing we could do for our family. I started checking out websites and blogs and books on the subject. I asked my friends and neighbors who home school about the pros and cons and the realities of being the one who is with them all day, educating them, preparing them for high school courses and beyond. I asked about how it affected the family outside the realm of education.   I got tons and tons of information, and then I threw most of it out and held on to the real stuff, the stuff that matters. Like the truth that no one on this earth is more equipped to raise my children than I am. Making the decision to do this was the hard part. Getting the materials and the support was easy. There is so, so, much out there! That is the little stuff. What’s important is that your family be a strong unit, a team with a unified goal. The big stuff is knowing what kind of family you want to be and helping your little men become who they were created to be. The book knowledge will come and you will be surprised how easily. It’s the bigger picture that will become so clear once the busyness of the public school schedule is cleared away, once the noise of all those other outside influences is not so loud in their precious minds. That’s where we have already seen the biggest change. Our boys are together more and fighting less, which, I don’t know about your boys, but I was concerned that mine would fight even more since they would always be together. The opposite happened! I can’t explain it, but it’s true!

I am really enjoying everything about home schooling, but I don’t enjoy it all 100% of the time. There are moments when I want to run in my room and hide for a while, and there are times when I actually do! I don’t want to give you a false sense that this whole thing is just always perfectly my favorite thing to do. But the cool thing is, I started this knowing that I would need those “time-outs” and I allow myself to take them and not feel guilty about it, either. After all, even public school teachers get breaks during the day! Anyway, I’m rambling. Feel free to call or come by and we can chat properly over coffee and chocolate. I’d love to meet you and get our boys together. In the meantime, I will list here some of my favorite links to get you started in your search. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help. I would love to have you stop in and check out our school room(/dining room). Just let me know!

http://www.palmbeachschools.org/homeeducation.htm **This is for basic info.

http://www.homeschool-life.com/fl/pec/    **Our local support group. Lots of links here, too.

http://www.thepioneerwoman.com    **Just for fun! Check out her home school section.

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Katheryn

P.S. The biggest question I get is “What about socialization?” I have a long list of answers to this, but a good short easy one is that there are so many resources and activities in our area that I have to say no to most just so we will have some time at home to actually do our school work. :)

Courage and Hope in the Midst

2009-10-04T07:46:00.001-04:00

My friend, Danielle, is walking through the unimaginable right now. Her courage and hope are awe-inspiring. Please read this update she posted. I was humbled by her honesty and her willingness to share her pain. Please pray for her and her family and especially baby Danika. Thank you.

10.03.09 - Scan Results

Posted 8 hours ago

Well, it's been quite the week and it is with a heavy heart that I report the results from Danika's scans. After five rounds of chemo, including the first high dose round, Danika's disease is unaffected. There is no change in the neuroblastoma on either CT scans or the MIBG scan. I must admit, my stomach starts to churn and I get a bit of shaky-on-the-inside feeling just typing the words. Can it be true? Shock sets in as it has a few times since her initial diagnosis in that cold dark ER room. There are some crazy twists and turns on this 'ride' and we're only four months in.
Monday morning will bring a decision from the team as to whether to continue on the same intermediate risk chemo protocol (COG 3961) with round 5, or to begin a new protocol - one which they expect will not drop her counts as severely (a drug called 'Irinotecan'). This will help in keeping on target for her tumor resection. As I tried to press for an answer regarding whether they have experienced a lot of success with the different chemo agents in kids like Danika, looking for some kind of HOPE, the doctor pointed out to me that cases like Danika's are pretty rare so he wasn't able to really answer that question. There are some options at this point, which gives me hope in the midst. There is also the thought of perhaps taking her off chemo treatment altogether and moving on to something like MIBG therapy or antibody therapy, just to name two. That is not for the here and now however. He was just thinking/talking out loud. Surgery is still scheduled for late October at this point. They are constantly discussing Danika's case trying to figure out what will work best for her. They feel she is one of those kids who will always show disease, but that it doesn't progress. They do know of several who survive and always show disease on their scans - they never reach NED ("No Evidence of Disease"). At least at this point, the neuroblastoma hasn't increased. That is something to be thankful for. That is a BIG something.
A bit of positive news - the four stem cell harvests yielded much more than the goal of 7 million per kilo. The stimulation of her bone marrow to produce the cells caused her some pretty intense bone pain for several days, but we are past that now and hopefully will not need to do that again - at least not any time soon. If ever Danika needs those stem cells down the line, they are there waiting for her.
A dear friend wrote me recently and really put into words a lot of what I've been feeling even before hearing about the test results and now it is even more right on... I will use some of her words and insert my own where appropriate...
Have been really thinking a lot about how God uses these seasons of, shall we say, challenges in our lives. ...lately I have found so much hope in the Lord that it makes me feel joyous, even in the midst of it. It may not seem it at times in the physical "here and now", (surely my family can attest - I've not been the easiest person to be around some days!) but it is so true to where I am at. I surely have moments of great weakness... sadness... even fear... at times, it is unimagineable. It is actually still surreal to me. Are we really here? I walk through the clinic and think... this is our life now... really?? Yes, really. I have always treasured Romans 8:28- “and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called, according to His purposes”, but lately it has come alive for me in a new way. The idea of “counting it all joy” when we are suffering (or watching our children suffer) does not come naturally (understatement!), but I am seeing that God is using all of it, not just some of it, for a greater purpose down the road. Danika, I believe, was born for a greater purpose than we can see right now. What we all want when God gives us a child, is a perfectly healthy, “normal “one. I certainly never envisioned for Danika the experiences she would have the day she was born. We take for granted that our children will lead happy healthy long lives because we love them so much and somehow think that will be enough. I picture my two girls growing up together... ballet class maybe... Day helping Danika learn to walk and talk... their high school graduation... their weddings (picturing each as the other's maid of honor)... We forget just how little we have control over in life, don't we? What I know now, is that a heart that is yielded to the Lord, can endure anything, because the revelation of God’s miraculous hand on our lives has enough power to sustain us through whatever He purposes for us. Every day brings new revelation, if you look for it. I am hanging on to God’s promises for my family – “For I know the plans I have for you, plans for a hope and a future, plans to prosper you.” I know so many of you are hanging on to those promises for us as well and continuing to lift us in prayer - as always, THANK YOU... it may not seem it when you look at scans and reports, but I have to stop and look UP and remember that my hope is in the Lord... and trust in His ultimate love and plan for Danika. It is a dark and dangerously slippery slope to do otherwise and I refuse to go there (or if I slip, at least I refuse to stay there!) She is a daughter, little sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin... and dearly and intensely loved by so many near and far. She is my angel here on earth - a gift from God we prayed for... and she is a warrior!! Not by choice, of course, but a warrior she is, nonetheless.
One day, we will know God’s purposes in all of this (this side of Heaven? Maybe... maybe not), but for the time being, we seek and find HOPE, peace and joy and thanksgiving, moment by moment. Moments like having Danika giggle again... break into a HUGE smile when she realizes that she knows who is next to her and grabs your hand and arm and doesn't want to let go b/c she's so thrilled to know it's you... like tonight when she grabbed my sister's hand and pulled it close to her cheek and knew Aunt Dinine was next to her - precious!... like the huge smile when she knows Uncle Jonathan is going to hold her... like when my mom sings "Goodnight Sweetheart" and she stops crying (she loves the 'oldies')... having her fall asleep in my arms because that's all she wanted was to be held by her mommy in that moment... these are the moments I am so thankful for in the midst of this storm. These are the moments I hold on to... they are heartbreaking and uplifting all at the same time... the moments that sustain me.
And so, I ask for your continued prayers as we move toward Monday and decisions are made for her treatment... prayers for her increased strength and of course complete HEALING. Keep HOPE alive!!
Blessings from Team Stanchi

Home School's Cool 'Cuz Home's Cool. Cool!

2009-09-14T07:40:00.003-04:00

Please allow this clip to give a clue to just one of a few reasons as to why I haven't had the time or mental energy to blog lately. Hope to be writing something intelligent and entertaining soon! For now, enjoy this from my youngest young'un and student.

PS--I would have posted the video here instead of just the link, but I must admit I can't figure out how. Oh, the shame...

Lost and Found

2009-09-11T18:28:00.006-04:00

My friend lost her husband today. After a struggle to stay alive since surgery in April, he is gone. But, he is not really lost. We know without doubt where he is, so he is not lost. My guess is she is the one who is. Lost. As is her five year-old son. Lost.

Where do you go? What do you do? Who are you now? Without him?

Lost.

Today I taught my kids and my nieces about 9/11. Remember what we felt that day? Lost. So much was lost. So many were lost. Lost.

Remember what we felt in the weeks and months after? I think we began to find some things we had forgotten. We were awakened to the blessings and joys in our lives. Blessings like love and freedom. Joys like family and friends. Found.

I pray we are finding those again this day. I pray Diann and Danny are found. Found in the comforting arms of the One whose peace surpasses all understanding.

Feeling Sentimental, Or Maybe Just Mental

2009-08-18T22:34:00.008-04:00

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway."

~ Jerome Cummings

I can think of no one who knows more about me than my dear friends, Anna and Jenni. We met in middle school. We were classmates, then roommates. We went through school and boys and growing up and marriages and babies and divorces. We've been through it all and some of it wasn't pretty. Some of it I sincerely wish I could redo and some I would never change a single moment. Most of it was fun. All of it was memorable.

The three of us together were a force. I still feel it on the rare occasion we see each other even now. There is a deep bond there that isn't easily broken. Over the years, I know I have let them down once or twice, one more than the other. I am so blessed that they love me anyway. There were times when I did some really stupid things and times when I did some really shameful things. They know and they love me anyway. They've seen me at my best, and they've seen me at my worst. Thank God they love me anyway.

I cherish these amazing women and I intend to work for the rest of my days to show them just how much.

Who Says You Can't Go Home?

2009-08-16T23:41:00.004-04:00

I have been talking in song lyrics today. This morning I was "on the road again" with "Carolina in my mind". Tonight I "reminisce about the days of old" while I settle in for a week in my hometown.

I couldn't wait to get out of this little town when I lived here. This place was just too small, too country, too conservative. Like that was a bad thing. In all my years of worldly wisdom (insert snicker here) since leaving , one thing I've learned for certain; small town America is where the common sense lives. It's where the real people live, the hardworking, tough loving families live. "These are my people. This is where I come from." yeah, more lyrics. I'm not very original tonight, I'm sorry. I just spent 11 hours in my car with the radio on scan, so my brain is working on that frequency.

What I'm trying to say is that I like real people. I trust 'em. I am proud to be one of 'em. Because when you are raised by these hardworking, tough loving families, they rub off on you. In the immortal words of Jon Bon Jovi, you "take it in, take it with you when you go. Who says you can't go home?"

Oh, and guess what? I can't find a scale here, so I can't post my weight. I'm deeply disappointed. I am.

Three Weeks with My Friend

2009-08-14T00:20:00.002-04:00

If you want to really get to know someone, share your house with them for three weeks. If you want to really, really get to know someone, share your rather small three bedroom house with this person and her three kids along with your three kids, yourself, husband, and rather large dog. Really.

My long-time friend, Nancy, and her three precious daughters stayed with us for a much needed extended get-away. Our time was filled with a perfect mixture of fun in the sun, educational outings and downtime as well. We visited the marine life center and the sea turtles. We climbed the lighthouse. We toured the river center and the wildlife refuge. We swam and snorkeled in the ocean and stayed in the pool til our fingers and toes were raisins. We hit all the local restaurants and malls. We even woke before dawn twice to see the space shuttle launch, only to find it was scrubbed twice. But the sunrises over the water were good compensation. And on our last day together we ran up the stairs again and again to the tops of every slide the water park set before us. It was three full weeks of nothing but fun.

But the real fun happens in the ordinary everyday goings on of life. My poor friend now knows, if she didn't already, that I am a messy housekeeper, often impatient with my kids, and have a few more quirks than the average bear. What I learned about her, on the other hand, was mind-blowingly rare. Unheard of. This sweet, kind, gentle, yet playful, impish and down-to-business-frank all at the same time friend of mine was unfailingly constant. No matter the situation, no matter the chaos, this lady kept her cool and kept us all in line. I am truly in awe of her ability to get things done --she did my laundry y'all!-- with graceful ease and quiet confidence. The love and care she shows at all times to her kids (and mine) was a joy to behold. Seeing this mom in action has made me a better mom, and she'll never know just how much so.

Here's to you, my funny friend, my sassy little firecracker and one amazingly real woman. I thank God for your friendship. I thank your husband for letting you be away from him that long, and I thank your darlin' girls for folding my towels 54 times and sweeping up my floor seven times a day. You are a treasure more valuable than any gem or stone and I love you!

Next week is my turn to give what I been gettin' and I'm gonna lay it on thick! Nan and her man are going on a cruise-yay for them!-and I get to take care of her home and those gorgeous little ladies of hers. I am thrilled to have the privilege and the pleasure is surely mine. Have fun with each other and enjoy the one on one attention you both deserve. As my (unbeknownst to her)mentor, The Pioneer Woman would say, "I love ya more'n my luggage."

My Hottie Is Trying To Kill Me

2009-08-12T11:17:00.003-04:00

He made me get up and run this morning just because I said I would. Can you believe him? And, and, since I wouldn't get out of bed at 6:30 when the alarm went off, he made me run at 8:30 when it was soooo scorching hot outside! I think he upped my life insurance. Its the only explanation.

Good news is... I lost a pound. Probably a pound of sweat. I actually snapped a photo of me in my snazzy-(m)ass T-shirt, but I can't figure out my camera today. Yesterday, I knew how to import my photos, today, not so much. Maybe the sun fried a few brain cells while I was out there for two miles, running at the breakneck speed of molasses on Christmas.

That's it for today. Back to the de-clutter project. Go leave a comment on my Julia post and tell your friends. The challenge is 37 comments. I've got 9 and 3 are mine. Is anybody out there? Tap. Tap. Is this thing on?

today's weight:177

Curse You, Dr. Pepper!

2009-08-11T22:48:00.006-04:00

I can give up sugar in my coffee. I can give up fried foods and white bread, but that wonderful concoction of bubbles and sweet syrupy goodness just has a hold of me! I do believe its the downfall of every diet I've ever tried. What's that you say, lack of exercise is more likely the reason I haven't lost my pregnancy weight when my baby is now 7 years old? So who are you anyway, the voice of reason? Well, knock it off already! Sheesh!

There's my rant for the day. Tomorrow I wake up to go for a run with my hottie. I'll be running my mass off! I actually have a Dri-fit shirt with that plastered across the front. The very large front. It's embarrassing. But, hey, if you can't lose it, decorate it. Right? If I'm feeling saucy enough, I might just post a photo.

Tune in and see. Til then, sweet dreams!

today's weight: 178

Drumroll, please...

2009-08-10T22:52:00.003-04:00

Now announcing my very first giveaway! A $25 Barnes & Noble gift card!

Here's whatcha do:

1. Read this here post about Julia Child.

2. Post your comment.

3. Wait and see if your comment was randomly chosen to win. I will select the winner after 37 comments have posted. Please only one comment per person.

4. If you're the winner, collect your prize! If not, I still love ya! We'll try this thang again til ya are!

The Julia Child in Us All

2009-08-10T19:07:00.008-04:00

Julia Child was 37 when she began cooking school. I learned of this factoid just after turning 37 myself. What a lovely bit of news to stir up some gumption in me, after all! I had kinda decided that by 37 I was probably pretty set in my ways. Like jello in a mold, I was shaped and settled in what I had become. Yeah, yeah, a little wiggly around the edges, too. HaHa

Not true, says Julia! We can begin new and exciting adventures. We can learn amazing new skills and all kinds of new things about ourselves. We are still becoming who we are. How ridiculous of me to forget that even in a moment of birthday blues. I don't know exactly what this year has in store, but I can't wait to find out! Maybe I'll lose 37 pounds. Maybe I'll visit 37 new places. Ooh, I could read 37 vampire novels. One thing's for sure: I will learn 37 new things from my kids as we embark on our first year of homeschooling. Talk about adventure!

In honor of Julia's 37th year and mine, I have an idea for something cool and I need your help. Let's start a list of things we'd like to accomplish this year. I wonder if we can get up to 37. Do I have that many readers? I'll start the comments rolling and we'll see how far we get. If we make it, I'll do a random drawing for a giveaway. Maybe Julia's biography, My Life In France. Maybe a vampire novel. Whatever floats your boat.

Whaddaya say? I knew you'd love my idea. See you in the funny papers. Comments, I mean.

today's weight: 178

Please Hold

2009-08-10T13:00:00.004-04:00

tearing up the house... organizing closets... drinking obscene amounts of iced coffee... I will take some time later today to write something to you, dear readers. Please check back, purty please. Thank you.

A Mac Attack!

2009-08-09T14:07:00.004-04:00

Friends, I am sorry to say that I cannot be bothered by hard exercise and counting calories today. There is no time to even eat. I returned home from a trip to the mall with a brand new Vera Bradley laptop case in hand. And since my hottie loves to spoil me, he made sure there was a MacBook Pro inside. teeheehee

Imagine the hours of fun to be had getting to know my new toy, er, I mean tool. The possibilities are virtually endless for a homeschooling mom in need of scheduling, planning, logging, playing with Garage Band and iPhoto. Everything is a lesson, right? It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. Excuse me while I surf the Safari.

Today's weight: 179

Three Things I've Learned

2009-08-08T08:44:00.007-04:00

1. If you give a girl a movie ticket, she's going to want popcorn and a cherry coke to go with it.

2. While she's eating enough popcorn to feed a small village in Tanzania, she will think that those Reese's Pieces her sister is holding would go quite nicely with all that butter and salt.

3. Dieting is not the easiest or most fun thing to do.

Also, Ryan Reynolds is a hottie almost as hot as my hottie husband.

this morning's weight: 179.5 velly intellesting

There's a New Fatty in Town

2009-08-07T13:20:00.007-04:00

I've just been officially inspired.

You may remember that I ran a marathon last summer. As I was training with the most amazing group of women dedicated to fighting blood cancers, we raised funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. (Thanks again to those who donated. You had an impact on something huge, and I don't just mean me! haha) Well, since then I have done pretty much nothing in the fitness category and I have *gasp* gained more weight. I moan and groan about it, but don't do much else. My husband tries to motivate me because he loves me and loves to support me, and maybe he is growing tired of said moaning and groaning. My words, not his. Anyway, lately I have begun to wonder what would inspire me to lose the weight. I want to look good in my swimsuit, but apparently, that's not important enough for me to get up early and work out. I want to feel better, but I guess not badly enough to put down the potato chips. Ughhhh! Somebody say you know what I'm talking about!

Well, here's the new news: Recently, I found a wonderful site called The Pioneer Woman and ya'll, she is my sista from another mista! I just love her! You gotta go check her out! OK, but come back. I have to finish telling you my story. She posts links to some of her fav sites and she has been following a blog by The Fat Cyclist. This cool, sweet and funny father of four just said goodbye to his wife Wednesday night after a long, ugly, painful battle with cancer. Their courage and grace through the worst imaginable horror is a sad and beautiful story. But it also gives me pause to wonder why I take my health for granted. I don't want to go one more day without taking the best care possible of myself and my family.

Something "Fatty" said in his about me section struck a note with me. He said he had tried everything he could think of to lose his weight and was left with the motivation of humiliation. Hmmm. So, he posted his weight everyday, no matter what the scale said, and all his family and friends and anyone who cared to read his blog could monitor his success or his lack thereof.

So, what do you say? Are you with me on this? The Humiliation as Motivation Technique. Here we go: Today's weight is 180 lbs. Never been heavier. Wow! Am I really gonna post this? Excuse me while I think this through. thinking... thinking... running screaming from the computer... and I'm back. Please pray for me. God, give me the discipline to stay focused and the wisdom to keep the eternal in sight and the perserverance to finish the race that is set before me. Amen!

Happy Anniversary, Hottie!

2009-07-03T12:22:00.004-04:00

Today we are camping. We got a gorgeous site right on the lake in the North Carolina mountains. As I type this the boys, the hubby and the dog are fishing. Dinner is in the crockpot. A cool, gentle breeze is bringing in the smell of campfire. And I am sitting in our little pop-up camper at the table online. Ah, life is good. I just grabbed the laptop to share a memory.

One of my favorite things about camping is setting up. I know, its kinda OCD, but I think its more about playing house or building a fort. Anyway, I do love the fresh mountain air and the hiking and fishing and all, but the set up is my gig. So, as I was enjoying the morning, cleaning up after bacon and coffee (the must-have camper's breakfast) I did the usual set up required after moving everything around for sleeping. I get to set it all back up again. Really, I love it! And just as I snapped out the bedsheet and watched it fall into place on the bed, I had a flashback. You see, we use our old sheets for camping and this sheet is exactly 13 years old today. On July 3, 1996, I was making our honeymoon bed in a little apartment in Sanford, NC. And I was snapping that same sheet and watching it fall on our honeymoon bed that my new husband brought into our little apartment on that very same day.

I saw him driving the rented moving truck into town. He had driven 12 hours from South Florida to my little hometown to marry me and start a new life with me in that little apartment I had just set up for us. He was heading there with everything we owned. He didn't see me sitting at the intersection as he drove by, but I saw him. He was smiling. More like grinning. Yeah, grinning is the right word. He looked so happy and so excited. I couldn't breathe. This is really happening, I was thinking. Whoa. I'm really getting married. Today. In a couple of hours. Whoa.

Well, we did it, and here we are 13 years and three kids later. And way happier and more in love than we were even on our honeymoon. Oh, yeah, baby!

Why can't we forgive ourselves?

2009-06-27T21:18:00.004-04:00

The following is a post I began writing back in December. I am finally working on something here, and I came across this. How ironic that I forgot to finish writing this one and never posted it. I felt it would be right that I share with you a small example of my fragmented mind...

I remember the most random things. Phone numbers from 1982. Movie quotes, Simon LeBon's birthday, commercial jingles, Veggie Tales Silly Songs with Larry. But I forget things I shouldn't. Like what time to pick up the kids on early release day. Or that I promised to volunteer for this or that on a certain day at a certain time. I can't seem to recall where I put my cordless phone. I have tried using the paging feature, but there is only silence in the rest of the house. Did I take it with me in the car somewhere? Wouldn't be the first time. Once, I even drove for miles when suddenly something flew from the roof of my car and smashed into a million pieces in the middle of the road. Yep, my cordless phone. How in the...

But I digress. What I'm really thinking about right now is how one can ever forget the wrongs they've done to others? I have had frustrating conversations with my dad about painful childhood memories that he dismissed as my vivid imagination. Does he really see it that way? Is it also too painful for him to deal with? I know that some of my choices have hurt people I love. I know that. But most of the time, I forget. That is, I forget until I'm reminded. Once in a while, someone will bring up something from the past and laugh it off. "Oh, man", they'll say, "Remember that time you..." and then they laugh it off. "Man, you were crazy back then." To them, it is nothing more than that. They've forgiven me for it, and the sting is gone for them. But for me, it's like a sharp blow to the gut. The all-too-familiar shame rises up to the surface and brings with it a heaping dose of fresh guilt.

Why? If the ones I wronged have forgiven me, why can't I? Well, after years of thoughtful study and prayer on this, I think I have an idea. We aren't really meant to. We must forgive others as Christ forgave us. We know that.

And there you have it. An unfinished musing by yours truly. More on this later?...

Writing Prompt; part 1

2008-12-12T07:45:00.006-05:00

I wasn't feeling particularly inspired, so I grabbed my little book titled, The Writer's Block. It gives you 786 quick prompts to run with. Can you believe the page I opened to said--"Describe your most memorable family holiday and explain what made it special for you." No kidding. Cool timing, huh?

So I don't bore you to tears, I decided to break it down in parts. This is part 1.

The winding roads through the foothills of the Ozarks were lined with the slushy, gray remains of a recent snowfall. As my little sisters slept without a care in the back seat of the borrowed car, I watched anxiously out the window to get my first look at yet another new town. With every move, I dreamed of a fresh start. I would picture in great detail the new me that I could present to the class as the teacher introduced the new kid. I could be smart, funny, mysterious, cool. In the end, all my planning and practicing in the mirror fell away. I really just wanted to be normal.

Right now, though , my thoughts were on this curious new place we were headed. Dad had spun elaborate tales of colorful characters in a little village where everyone would appreciate him and his art and support him in this newly chosen career. The possibility of this made me hopeful for a place where we could finally belong, a home. Maybe if Dad was happy in his work, he would be happy with us, too.

Mom's voice brought me back to the view outside my window. "Look, Kathy, that's it. Can you see it? We're here! Our new beginning!"she spoke in an excited whisper. Had she been counting on this in the same way I was?

As the town's Main Street came into view, I saw that the streets were paved with limestone, not the same asphalt like every other place we'd lived before. The street lights were lamp posts, adorned with tinsel decorations for Christmas. Lights twinkled from every storefront and people bundled in mittens and muffs were happily bustling about with packages in hand and warm smiles on their faces. It looked just like an old-fashioned Christmas card! My heart was so full of wonder at this magical setting, I couldn't help believing. I couldn't help believing that this was going to be the Christmas all our wishes would be fulfilled.

2008-12-08T07:50:00.005-05:00

Blog #2: I said this is practice for writing so I am testing an idea. I will just write. I will place my fingers on the keyboard at asdf and jkl; and see what pours out. Here goes...

Sometimes I feel as though a fog is circling my head. I call it my funk. It comes around every so often and it goes away after a day or two or even a week. Usually, it takes just a little regrouping to lift the cloud. I'm a list maker, so if I get overwhelmed I can make a master list of all my wants and to-dos and plans for life. Like a ray of warm sunlight, the act of putting down on paper what is cluttering my mind can burn through the fog and I can see clearly again.

Or a good long run to sweat out the congested traffic of thoughts has helped pull me out of it. There are lots of physical remedies for a mental slump that I have found to be beneficial, but lately my funk has lingered. That didn't sound right. ;) But I mean I tried the old standbys and I still felt the familiar fog setting in again. Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking deep depression here. Just a little old-fashioned down in the dumps. I have everything to be thankful for. God has blessed me with a loving, beautiful, healthy, FUN! family and an amazing group of friends. I have a cute little house in a quaint little neighborhood. My husband adores me and my kids think I'm supermom. I even have a Golden Retriever. It's a wonderful life!

As I struggle to analyze my psyche to come up with an answer as to why I am feeling "funk-y", the words in the pages of my Bible are giving me all the answers I need. However, it's not just in the words. It's The Word. Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires." Although, we may never hear an audible voice bellowed down from Heaven, God is speaking to us though His living word. Even though I am studying the book of Daniel, which is rich in amazing truths about integrity and bravery and even end-of-times prophecy; I am hearing God speak to my heart through it. He is teaching me about myself like only He can. He is the one who made me, after all. He knows me better than I know myself. He is showing me that there are seasons to my life and phases that I will go through. Change comes about after a feeling of complacency and restlessness. So, look out world! I feel a change in the air!