dirtyDogStink: Blog

One-liner #57

tod — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 05:28:56 GMT

work: Rule # 72 for creating a mature, professional image at work - Embed cute pictures throughout your email to endear the recipients to your cause. Nothing says “Take me seriously” more than a funny smiley face.

Huh?

~tod

One-liner #56

tod — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:21:44 GMT

life: When I read stories about the immoral, abusive and violent crap people have done I often think to myself "wow, glad I won't be them when karma decides to snatch them up by the nads and have its way with them."

Huh?

~tod

Ignore Strangers

tod — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 03:29:20 GMT

During the end of December ‘08, the coffee-drinking, socks-n-sandals wearing inhabitants of the Pacific Northwest had a wee bit of snow. It threw Seattle in to a tailspin [nice summary here], but in the end it meant snow in the mountains and better potential for the ski/snowboard season staring us in the face. A season that virtually didn’t exist only a few weeks before.

As my friends and family know, I enjoy snowboarding. It’s a hobby I picked up from my little brother 8 or 9 years ago and I’ve been trying to keep up with him ever since. And now I feel like it’s time to introduce my daughter to the sport. She’s almost 5 years old and scoffs at the thought of monsters under her bed…fear isn’t a factor for her.

With great anticipation I scheduled her first two-planker [aka: ski] lesson for January 1st at Stevens Pass. Knowing how the weather had been for the previous two weeks, that morning I checked the resort’s site for any closure notice and road conditions via the WSDOT to make certain things were a ‘go.’ It was snowing, but otherwise looked good.

About 9:30 am we were loaded up and on the road. She had some toys and a few movies on my Zune to keep her occupied, but honestly, she’s a great traveler rarely requiring much other than conversation and a nap to get through a 2-4 hour drive.

Around 10:30 we were well along U.S. Hwy 2, probably 25 miles from the resort and the snow was falling consistently. An odd thing I noticed was that there were a lot of cars heading west, away from the resort. Also, many of these cars had skis and snowboards on roof racks which isn’t a good sign…they should have been heading west towards the snow. So I pulled over and called the Stevens Pass Snowline [425.353.4400]. Good news, it was still snowing and they were operating normally…so I kept driving.

Thirty minutes later found us within a few miles of the resort. My daughter was excited, but I was cautious. The number of cars heading west [the opposite direction] was steadily increasing as was the snowfall. I called the snowline again and received the bad news…the WSDOT had closed Hwy 2 across the Cascades so Stevens Pass Ski Resort would not be operating for the remainder of the day. =(

Fortunately, my little girl is pretty resilient. She was disappointed, but still in good spirits as I turned around and began our hour and a half trek back home. It wasn’t long, maybe 10 minutes, before she was fast asleep in her booster seat.

Feeling like I needed to compensate a bit for the disappointment of missing her ski lesson, I decided to do something I rarely do with her. In her almost five years of life I’ve done this probably seven or nine times. It’s not that I have a huge dislike for it, but it’s certainly a habit I don’t want to ingrain in her.

I decided to stop at The Golden Arches.

Even though I rarely take her, she’s quite familiar with the establishment and it’s various offerings from trips with other family members and daycare. So when she woke up from her nap, she was quite excited to find me pulling into Mickey D’s.

After receiving our, um, nutritional, lunch and beverages we sat at a booth and proceeded to gorge ourselves on chicken nuggets [her] and cheeseburgers [me] and french fries [both]. It wasn’t long before we needed some more ketchup.

The condiment bar was on the other side of the restaurant, but in clear view without any obstacles and only 25 to 30 feet away. She was busy eating so I decided to just make a run for it and keep an eye on her instead of dragging her along with me.

“Honey, I’m going to get us some more ketchup from over there [pointing]. I want you to sit right here and stay put. Don’t get up and walk anywhere. I also don’t want you talking to any strangers. Ok?”

“Ok Daddy.”

“Now what are you supposed to do while I’m getting us some more ketchup?”

“Stay here and don’t talk to any strangers.”

“Bingo! I’ll be right back.”

I walked through a small crowd of eight or ten people standing in line at the counter, all the while keeping an eye on my little girl. She was also watching me. Things were going as planned.

Just as I reached the condiment bar and was about to fill some of those little white cups from the ketchup dispenser, my oh-so honest little girl yelled proudly, in a voice loud enough to carry across the restaurant and through it’s din of chatter, “Daddy! I’m not talking to any strangers!”

I replied “that’s great peanut” just before letting out a big laugh. Engrossed with the decision of meal deal # 2 or 5, scarfing down a large order of fries or refilling their sodas, no one else really noticed. But I thought it was hilarious.

So there you have it, a five year old girl’s exuberant [and informative] implementation of her dad’s request to ignore strangers. Parenting certainly has it’s funny moments, which make all the tough ones worth it.

~tod

One-liner #55

tod — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:18:46 GMT

life: You made the choices, so don't blame everyone else for where you're at now.

Also see one-liner #16.

Huh?

~tod

One-liner #54

tod — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 18:48:46 GMT

driving: When I see a truck with 'COWGIRL UP' plastered across the back window the last thing I expect to see is a GUY behind the wheel.

Huh?

~tod

One-liner #53

tod — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 20:44:13 GMT

life: Are life changes (aka: resolutions) really more effective on January 1st?

Huh?

~tod

Culture '08

tod — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:57:22 GMT

2008 was a very fun and diverse year for Whitney & I. In fact, I have never attended this many uniquely interesting and entertaining events....

Chris Cornell (@ The Paramount) - Technically this was in October '07, but it was such a damn good concert it needs to be mentioned. He played for almost 3 hours and covered Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, Audioslave and his solo stuff. It was an awesome moment when he brought his two young children on stage [wearing ear protection of course] for one of the songs.
Late September Dogs (@ The Central) - A local band that kicks a whole lotta ass!
Silent Movie Mondays (@ The Paramount) - Watching the original b&w, silent version of When the Clouds Roll By (1919) featuring Douglas Fairbanks with a live organist in the beautiful Paramount was a wonderful experience.
Cirque du Soleil's Corteo (@ Marymoor Park) - Unbelievable! This was my first time seeing Cirque and I was absolutely floored. If you haven't seen one you owe it to yourself to do so.
Foo Fighters (@ Key Arena) - These guys are one of my all-time favorite bands and they didn't disappoint, in fact they rocked the house. Dave Grohl was hilarious with lots of stories and jokes sprinkled throughout the night. There were too many cool moments to recount, but here's one of the best:
- We were in section 104 which is in the lower level at the opposite end of the floor from the stage [good seats, but pretty far from the stage]. There was a long runway shooting out from the stage that Grohl would run out on every now and then. About 45 minutes in to the show a small circular stage was lowered from the ceiling to rest at the end of the runway and Grohl walked out to stand there alone...40 feet directly in front of us! The rest of the band soon joined him and we had front row seats to a 45 minute acoustic performance!
- Here's a funny part while they were on the small stage in front of us:
  - Dave: [pointing at the sections directly in front of him] You guys thought you had shitty seats, didn't you?
  - Dave: [pointing back at the people in front of the main stage] Now they have the shitty seats.
Jack Johnson (@ Gorge Ampitheater) - A mellow, enjoyable concert.
Bumbershoot (@ Seattle Center) - Read about it at Bumbershoot '08. We already bought our 3-day passes for next year.
Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey's Circus (@ Comcast Arena) - The Peanut's first time at a circus and she loved it. She still talks about it every now and then...especially the elephant poop [and boy do they!].
The Phantom of the Opera (@ The Paramount) - A beautifully orchestrated performance with outstanding music and production quality. Seeing it in the Paramount, a gorgeous venue, was a bonus.
The Raconteurs (@ WaMu Theater) - Whitney introduced me to this group and they've become another of my favorites. We were only 40 feet from the stage and although there wasn't much interaction with the crowd [just the obligatory 'hello seattle'] the music was sweet.
The Three Musketeers (@ Seattle Repertory Theatre) - We had great seats and the tweaked storyline [D'Artagnan's little sister tagging along] was a nice treat. Those damn prop guns were loud though! :)
Ron White (@ The Moore Theater) - Funny as hell. My only complaint was that he was taping the show and the camera arms sometimes got in the way of our view.
Robin Williams (@ The Paramount) - Fuckin hilarious! He went at 70 MPH for 2 hours straight...attacking G.W., describing the committee that designed genitalia, impersonating Seattle homeless, passive aggressive behavior in the PNW and damn near anything else you can think of. Far and away the funniest 2 hours of my life...my throat was sore [from laughing] for at least a day.

All in all, the past year has been my most diverse and enjoyable for entertainment. Looking over this list has caused me to reminisce about several of the memories...all wonderful reasons for continuing the trend in '09.

Happy New Year!

~tod

One-liner #52

tod — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:30:46 GMT

life: When life is good to you take a moment to cherish and enjoy it.

Huh?

~tod

PS: Goodbye '08 and thanks for being so good to me.

Let it Snow

tod — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 00:16:09 GMT

If you live in the Seattle area then you might have noticed we have a bit of snow on the ground...

Of course, this lead to a few realizations:

Crazy people decide to get out of their houses and go for a [not-so] relaxing drive.
Seattle only owns 27 snow plows.
The Puget Sound has lots of hills.
Seattle averages only 8.6" of snow annually.
The Seattle area basically shuts down with more than a few inches of snow (refer to #2 and 3 above).
People from the Midwest and Eastern U.S. love to make fun of us (refer to #2 and 3 above).
Thankful that a beautiful lady from San Diego, CA is willing to put up with this mess [and me getting her stuck in the snow...on purpose].
The best way to learn how to get un-stuck is to get yourself stuck (refer to #7 above).
Thankful that my job allows me to work from home when necessary.
Little girls prefer to make snow-women versus snow-men [bikini top donated by the lovely Whitney]. =)

Merry Christmas!

~tod

One-liner #51

tod — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 04:58:03 GMT

driving: It would be comical to watch Seattle drivers in the snow, if it weren't also life threatening.

Huh?

~tod