And so, without further ado, here is your TENTATIVE schedule for our amazing Cozumel Palace Resort. Seriously, keep refreshing … I’m writing it right now.

How do I get to the Palace Resort?
By taxi, it’s less than 5 miles from the international airport. There are no airport bus shuttles, only taxis and taxi van services as noted below.

But beware, there are people hacking time share appointments who will promise you the world, including a free cab ride to your hotel. Do not go with them, unless you want to be committed to time share appointments. They won’t leave you alone. Walk by sweetly. Don’t engage in conversation. There’s no such thing as a free ride.

So, what do you do? When exiting from immigration/customs, go to your right. You will see a small kiosk that says “Office of Van Transportation.” It has a sign board with prices (see the photo below).

You are going to the SUR corridor, AV RAFAEL E MELGAR KM 1 5, Adolfo Lopez Mateos. The phone number is: 011-52-9878729430.

If 10 of you find one another with your Sweet-dar and share a collective, shared service, it will only cost around $6 each or 78 pesos each. With 10 people (that’s the max), they will go directly to our hotel, Cozumel Palace Resort, and you will not have to stop at other hotels along the way. Otherwise, you can take a shared taxi van for $6 (78 pesos), but you will stop along the way, if others in the taxi van are not SWEETIES. Sharpen your lezzy sightings skills, ask if other women in the airport are “Sweeties.” It’s a great way to save money and make new friends.

If you do decide to take Servicios Especiales, a per person taxi, to go DIRECTLY to the hotel, they will charge you $16 per person or 209 pesos per person times the number of passengers (max 4), so that could add to $32 per couple or $64 dollars a cab ride for four persons. Still affordable compared to New York City or even San Francisco, but not necessary.

Look for this sign board with the prices:

WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?
Check out our packing list for details.

THE RESTAURANTS
Turquesa Restaurant:
Continental breakfast, 6:30-7am
Breakfast buffet, 7-11am
Lunch buffet, 12:30-4pm
Dinner, Italian a la carte, 6-11pm

Bugambilias: Dinner, Mexican and Japanese a la carte, 5:30-11pm

Grill: Dinner, grill buffet (yummers!), pool area, 7-11pm

Room service is 24 hours.

GYM HOURS
Daily from 7am to 8pm.

DIVER’S DELIGHT
Everything’s better down where it’s wetter … yeah, that crab in “The
Little Mermaid” said it best. If you want to scuba, check out Blue Bubble
Divers, an affordable, woman owned and operated dive shop in
Cozumel. With Blue Bubble, it’s always diver’s choice. Dives are 6 – 9 people, so you get the personal attention you deserve. Oh, and they always provide fresh, homemade treats. Two-tank dives depart daily at 8.30am and 2pm. Contact Roberta by email at Roberta@bluebubble.com and she’ll make you a sweet deal.

SATURDAY
September 4, 2010
11am to 6pm: Arrivals. Music, libations and introductions in the hotel lobby.

3:30-4pm: You fell in love with the merengue in “Dirty Dancing,” now learn how do it yourself.

6 to 11pm: Eat, eat, eat. You’ve traveled a long way, I’m sure you’re hungry.

9-10pm: Extraordinary MAYAN SHOW at the pool.

10 to midnight: Welcome party in the lobby bar, hosted by Bridget McManus.

SUNDAY
September 5, 2010
9am: Singles, meet for breakfast in the main restaurant.

10am: Sweet 100 brunch (Bugambilias Restaurant).

noon to 3pm: Sweet pool party with Corday and the Classic Rock Cougars with classic rock karaoke. Bridget McManus hosts a lesbian kiss off!

2pm: Spanish lessons

3:30-4pm: Salsa lessons!

4pm: AA meeting in the Momonohana Room.

8pm: The Samba & Capoeira Show, poolside

9pm: Suzanne Westenhoefer: Raw and Unedited in the lobby bar

10pm-close: Nightclub with DJ Trina J in Momonohana Room.

MONDAY
September 6, 2010
8.45am: Singles, meet in the lobby. Let’s go snorkeling together!

9am-2pm: Snorkeling in Chankanaab Park (equipment included).

10am-2pm: Humane Society Project

3pm: “We Have to Stop Now” Season 1 screening courtesy of Wolfe Video with special introduction by Suzanne Westenhoefer.

4pm: Commitment Ceremony on the second floor terrace. Please arrive promptly at 4pm. Sign up to participate at the Sweet desk in the lobby by Monday.

4pm: AA meeting in Momonohana Room.

7-9pm: Roast and Toast of Suzanne Westenhoefer to celebrate 20 years of lesbian comedy. We’re eating dinner together and making fun of our favorite comedian at Turquesa Restaurant.

9pm: Asian Circus, poolside.

10pm: Pretty in Pink party in Momonohana Room

TUESDAY
September 7, 2010
9am: Singles, meet for breakfast in the main restaurant.

10am to 3pm: Sweet beach party at Playa Mia. Off-site.

4pm: AA meeting in Momonohana Room.

8pm: Fire show, poolside.

9-10pm: Corday performs in the lobby stage.

10pm: 80s party! in Momonohana Room

WEDNESDAY
September 8, 2010
10am: Singles, meet for breakfast in Turquesa Restaurant.

11am-noon: What is Sweet? with Sweet founding partners Jen Rainin and Shannon Wentworth

Noon: Dance Magic with Bridget McManus and That’s What She Said by the pool.

2.30-5pm: Snorkel adventure 2 reef

4pm: AA meeting in Momonohana Room

6-11pm: MARGARITAVILLE PARTY: Enjoy a delicious Mexican buffet at the pool with music, games and dancing. (Food from 6 to 8pm)

8pm-midnight: Sea turtle project: Learn all about sea turtles and perhaps watch babies emerge from their shells. (Maximum 24 guests).

$100 per person
Includes round trip transportation, donation to the sea turtle project, water and a T-shirt. Please confirm your space and pay at the Sweet desk when you check in. No refunds. Cash payment is super helpful because we have to pay our vendors in Cozumel in cash.

To reserve your space, write to info@discoversweet.com, specify the number of people you’d like to bring and your T-shirt sizes. If there’s room, you’ll also be able to sign up at the resort.

THURSDAY
September 9, 2010
6.30am-4pm: Coba Mayan Ruin

9am: Singles, meet for breakfast in Turquesa Restaurant.

9am-2pm: Snorkeling at Chankanaab Park (off site, includes equipment)

4pm: AA meeting in Momonohana Room

2-4pm: Wolfe Video presents “The Four-Faced Liar,” a refreshing new lesbian comedy and winner of a ton of film fest awards. Watch the trailer.

7pm: Sweet 100 dinner in Bugambilias!

8pm: Latin Sounds Show, poolside

9pm: Comedian Bridget McManus on the lobby stage.

11pm: Let’s dance at the nightclub in Momonohana Room.

FRIDAY
September 10, 2010
9am: Singles, meet for breakfast at Turquesa Restaurant.

Noon – 3pm: The Last Dip Pool Party with utter silliness from Bridget McManus and That’s What She Said.

4pm: AA meeting in Momonohana Room

7.30-8pm: Sweet farewell cocktails, hosted by Jen Rainin and Frances Stevens, poolside.

8pm: Drum show, poolside.

9pm: Farewell show with That’s What She Said! in the lobby bar.

11pm – Zzzz: Pajama bash!

SATURDAY
September 11, 2010
9am: Singles, meet for breakfast in Turquesa Restaurant.

At Ocala Pride, you’ll enjoy:
Music from Brendan Velesquez (currently #2 on Logo’s Click List!), Roberts & Vanstone, Slow Motion Killers, The UV Rays, JR Raymond, Treblehawke and more!

Two Stonewall Library & Archives Traveling Exhibits:
“Stonewall History” and “History of Women Only Spaces.”

Commitment Ceremony with Photos and Wedding Cake

Seminars: LGBT History, Living W/Aids, Transgender:Diversity &
Discrimination and Coach Sappho’s “Happily Ever After.”

The event is family friendly with magic, arts and crafts for the kids. Come out for seven hours of fun for the whole family!

“I heard they let you sleep in the bed with them!”

“Well, I heard they feed you actual raw meat and vegetables that they prepare fresh every meal.”

“I heard they take pictures of you with them when they go on vacation!”

Yeah, pretty much, you’re all the talk in animal shelters all over the world. Being a lesbian’s pet is like winning the fuzzy lottery. In Cozumel, we’re going to make dreams come true for our furry friends. Animals, rejoice! The lesbians are coming.

While our community service project is still taking shape, it’s time to start collecting donations for the Humane Society of Cozumel. Our stray cat and dog project, led by DJ Trina Johnson who donates all the proceeds from the DJ career to animal shelters, consists of two parts:

1. Supply drive: Everyone can help by bringing much-needed supplies from the wish list below. Call all the vets you know now to ask for donations. Money is welcome.

2. Humane Society Project: We’ll go to the shelter, visit with the animals and help with the maintenance of the facility for 2-3 hours. This is an excellent opportunity to make a new friend to take home with you (details below). We’re looking to take 35 people out for this project. It’s $30 per person for transportation, supplies and snacks. If you want to do the project, please sign up at the Sweet desk when you check in.

SHELTER WISH LIST
• Lysine paste for cats
• Heart worm tests
• Doxycyline antibiotics (100mg capsules and 100 mg tablets).
• Cephalaxin antibiotic
• Isoflurane anaesthetic is vital for spaying. Please pack it carefully, so it will pass TSA inspection.
• Small and medium sized dog collars (no large ones). Please avoid dollar store collars and leashes as they break easily. The best collars have durable plastic clasps as metal clasps rust in this climate.
• Kuranda beds are great for getting the dogs off concrete kennel floors. They are durable and chew proof. Medium sized works best. They are packed in lightweight tubes for easy transport.
• Fleas and ticks are a menace. Frontline PLUS (not the regular Frontline as the ticks are resistant to it), Promeris or bio-spot are much needed. Get large doses. They can divide it on site to treat many dogs.
• Dog kennels. Check your local Craig’s List or Walmart. They carry super lightweight kennels. One fits inside a suitcase and counts as one piece of luggage.
• Soft-sided carriers to transport kittens and puppies to their new homes.

CAN I TAKE A PET HOME?
Whoo hoo! Make a huge impact by taking a critter home with you. The humane society provides the health certificates. There is no quarantine and most airlines are able to fly pets back to the U.S. or Canada. Humane Society volunteer Andrea is dedicated to helping you every step of the way. There are just not enough homes on the island for all the stray animals. Ready to fall in love? See who’s available now. If you find a pet you like, they’ll hold it for you.

CAN I GIVE MONEY?
While they can’t spend it themselves, stray cats and dogs love money. Make checks payable to the Humane Society of Cozumel. Cash donations can be made directly in Cozumel. Online donations go to The Humane Society of Cozumel via payola. Or you can buy a T-shirt for $15.

Whoo hoo! It’s finally time to pack for our Cozumel Palace Resort.

Here’s a list of things you don’t want to forget:
• Toiletries: Razor, lotion, make up (or not), hair ties, toothbrush, toothpaste, topsy tail, hair brush, mousse, gel, Advil, Extenze, tampons / pads, Q-Tips, etc.

• Hairdryer: If you have long or thick hair, you’ll want to bring your own dryer.

• Shorts: Cargo shorts — check! Camo shorts — check! Bermuda shorts — check! Board shorts — check! If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you don’t need my help packing.

• Tank tops / T-shirts: Like you’d ever forget those.

• Sun dresses: These are optional. If you’re a sundress person, you’ll want to pack some.

• Sweater / light jacket: We’re looking at warm weather for the week, but the air conditioning in the hotel can get a bit chilly during shows and events.

• Hat: Bring one, bring two, bring one for every outfit. You’ll want a hat. There’s going to be sun.

• Sunglasses: Combine these with the hat and we’re talking hot, hot, hot. Bring a case for them, too. You do not need to be squinting into scratched up glasses.

• Watch: Take your Sweet time (and keep track of it, too).

• Flip flops: Essential footwear for the woman on the go. Formal flip flops for the evening, casual flip flops for the day and don’t forget your gag flip flops for starting conversations with strangers.

• Swimsuit, swimmie fins and water shoes

• Snorklers, bring your own gear, if you’re picky.

• Daypack: You’ll want something to carry around on our excursions.

• Gloves: For our community service projects, please bring a pair of sturdy work gloves to protect your delicate hands.

• One big plastic trash bag for picking up trash on our excursions and beach adventures.

• Passport: Pack it, check it, double check it, then check it again. You need it.

• Moola, money, greenbacks: While everything at our resort is included, tipping is always welcome. Additionally, you’ll probably want to buy something around town. You can exchange dollars at the airport, but most places accept U.S. dollars. You’ll get a better exchange rate at the airport.

• Sunscreen: Until we fix global warming, pack at least SPF 15 and make it biodegradable.

• Battery disposal: Bring a baggie to carry home your batteries and recycle them properly. There is no battery recycling available on Cozumel. They will end up in the ocean and we’ll have to pick them up next time we come.

• Pink party outfit: You guessed it, your outfit should be or have some pink in it.

• Margaritaville party outfit: We’re having an outdoor pool party / barbecue this week. You need your best Jimmy Buffetwear.

• 80s party! Dust off your high top Reeboks, find your best neon mesh shirt and get ready to dance the night away to the hits of the 80s. Tip: When you think you’ve packed enough necklaces and bracelets, add 10 more of each. Hot Topic is your friend. Get to the mall, ladies.

• Pajama party: Everyone wants to pack the last night, so we’re partying in our PJs after the packing is done. Don’t forget your bunny slippers.

• Suzanne memorabilia: We’re roasting and toasting 20 years of openly lesbian comedy by Suzanne Westenhoefer this week. If you have any memorabilia, pictures or memories, you’d like to share, please bring them or email them to info@discoversweet.com.

• Workout gear: Don’t forget your sneakers, shorts, sports bras and tank tops. The gym is top notch. You’ll want to check it out.

• Camera with extra batteries or charger: Don’t miss a thing.

• Bug spray: We don’t want you to get bit, unless you want to get bit.

• Humane Society of Cozumel: Click here to pack your suitcase to help stray cats and dogs.

Share your favorite packing tips and anything I missed in the comments section below.

Wow, what an incredible week we had in paradise! We kicked it all off with cocktails and dinner getting to know each other as we toasted Diamond Head and sailed for Maui.

The women of Maui turned out in record numbers to welcome us to their piece of paradise. Sapphos of Maui treated our Sweeties to a huge afternoon beach barbecue, complete with surf lessons and a fantastic surfer girl cake! The fabulous women from Maui’s Community Work Day Program introduced the environmental volunteer projects they organize to us all, signed up lots of local Sweeties for future cleanups and Sweet made a $500 donation.

Earlier that morning, at the crack of dawn, to be precise, two of our Sweeties got engaged at the top of Haleakala, Maui’s famous dormant volcano, as they watched the sunrise over the crater before biking down the mountain. Romance was clearly in the air as another pair of our Sweeties renewed their wedding vows on the deck at sunset in Kailua. We toasted Judge Walker’s decision to overturn California’s discriminatory Proposition 8 over steak and lobster. We took helicopter rides through the spectacular “Grand Canyon of Hawaii” in Kauai. We cruised past the lava flowing into the sea off the Kona coast on the Big Island. We snorkeled, snuba’ed, parasailed, and ziplined. We learned to hula and made beautiful souvenier leis. And we visited breathtaking beach after white sand beach. It was as close to the perfect vacation as I’ve ever taken.

Mark your calendar and plan to join your hosts and special guests, “In the Life” series producer Jac Gares and “In the Life” executive director Michelle Kristel as they share their unique perspective on how the award-winning public television and Internet program influences change.

WHEN: Thursday, September 2nd from 6:30-8:30pm
WHERE: The home of Jen Rainin, Piedmont, CA 94611

RSVP: Contact Lana Sacks by email at lsacks@itlmedia.org or by calling (212) 255-6012, ext. 305, to reserve your place (space is limited so RSVP early).

“In the Life” home screening events bring viewers, community members, LGBT movement leaders and ITLM together to take part in meaningful “In the Life” programming and to discuss the impact each of us can have in producing change.

Don’t miss this opportunity to join us!

Our Sweet Cozumel Palace Resort is fast approaching. Y’all need to book your rooms, so you don’t miss this indulgent, fun-filled week in paradise, Sept. 4-11, 2010.

IRRESISTIBLE FINANCING: FROM $88 A MONTH
First and foremost, we’ve made this vacation affordable and our payment terms flexible. We want you to come, so we’re offering our no interest, no fees 12-month payment plan on bookings before August 13, 2010. That means, your vacation starts at $88 per month per person.

Guess what? Once you get there, you don’t have to spend another penny. All your food (including 24-hour room service) and drink (including a wet bar in your room) is included in the price of your resort.

Can’t get away for a full week? Ask us about day rates. We have free wifi and telephone, too, so you can work from paradise, if that’s the way you roll.

AIRFARE: ASK ABOUT AIR REBATES
For our guests traveling from airfare unfriendly zones, we’re offering air rebates up to $250. Call for details and help finding the best fares. Do not let airfare prices deter you. Call today. We can help.

ENTERTAINMENT: IT’S OFF THE CHAIN
The magnificent Suzanne Westenhoefer joins us to celebrate 20 years of comedy with a very special show plus a roast and toast of the last two hysterical decades.

Our resort features the unscripted hijinks of comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer, Logo / MTV funny lady Bridget McManus, dykelicious music-comedy duo That’s What She Said and the rocking licks of Corday and the Classic Rock Cougars. DJ Trina J cranks up the volume for our pool parties and nightly Sweet club parties. Natalie Garcia from Showtime’s web series “More to L” joins in the fun, too.

PARTIES: YO, THEY ARE DOPE
As ever, we’ll party like rockstars at our nightclub. On tap this week, we’ve got our outdoors Margaritaville party and indoors we’ve got our signature Pink Party and our Madonna-rific 80s party. Corday and the Classic Rock Cougars invigorate our pool parties and lead us in live band karaoke!

THE MEANINGFUL STUFF
While we’re in Cozumel, we’re going to do great gobs of good, too. We have three fantastic projects in store for you. One, a baby sea turtle release, habitat restoration and celebration lunch. Two, an animal shelter project and pet supply drive followed by fundraising lunch. Three, a 30-minute beach clean up followed by a catamaran party cruise. Yeah, we really like to mix of good deeds with pleasure, lots of pleasure.

Don’t miss this amazing week with Sweet. Call 877.793.3830 or email info@discoversweet.com today to reserve your space.

Crank up the Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears, it’s time to roast and toast the magnificent Suzanne Westenhoefer who celebrates 20 years of bold, brash and brazen lesbolicious comedy at our Cozumel Palace Resort, Sept. 4-11, 2010.

Who doesn’t remember Suzanne’s iconic spiral perm? Never having been in the closet, Suzanne set the standard for lesbian comedy. She was the first lesbian to have her own HBO Comedy Special and perform on “The Late Show with David Letterman.” After two decades of entertaining us, it’s time for a fun and heartfelt tribute to the funniest lesbian on the planet. She’s the bomb, yo.

Sweet hosts a special dinner for Suzanne at our resort on Sept. 6. With guest speakers, a retrospective video video and many more surprises. If we get really lucky, maybe Suzanne will do her Britney Spears impression for us or wear her apple dress.