Disgusting

Good Investment

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:20:56 PDT

Do you think that the people who invent these kinds of things are fucking with us?

Wifebeater 2.0

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:10:28 PDT

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/video.

"After decades of stagnation in the development of mens' underwear comes the Wondershirt."

Captain Eyeliner

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:21:16 PDT

A friend of mine Nobu Adilman has started up a This American Life style podcast. It's called Captain Eyeliner and it's shaping up to be a great show. I told a story for the first episode. It was about a trip I took to Lebanon and how I thought I was being kidnapped. Check it out, subscribe etc.

A Queer Poly-Sexual Carnival For Kinky Fairies

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 09:47:49 PDT

A couple years ago I was working on a story about some sex perverts or something. I can't remember exactly what it was about. But in the process I ended up trying to interview this cretin named Ishwar. He runs something called Ghandarva Creations. I haven't thought about this guy in years. But then this gem of an email showed up. From what I can tell it's some sort of giant mystical orgy. Tickets are $80.

The email asked people NOT to post the invite anywhere or tell anyone about it. I know I'm running the risk of having a filthy spell on me that gives me feathery wings and gonorrhea... but it's a chance I'm willing to take.

Here is a choice excerpt:

"Cum and join the other fairy folk... come release your inner nymph, fawn... whatever your inner sexy magical creature;
Cum let DJ Nik Red and company spin your body and soul;
Cum have your inner self painted on your outer self;
Cum inside the dog cage or on the fuck bench?
Cum and join us for a night of ... whatever you make of it!"

Ishwar also felt the need to justify the price. Apparently these orgies are expensive to throw and they provide "amazing food". Food at an orgy? What the fuck? Like actual food that you would eat? Not just boner shaped fruits and vegetables?

"Ugh. Deeper. I'm a bad horse. Whip me. This vegan lasagne is just delish. Pass the miso please. Use a speculum. Strech out my ass."

Fuck it. I'm buying a ticket. It's going to be great.

Drunk Man Goes To Work

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:12:54 PDT

Beastmaster General

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Tue, 26 May 2009 07:46:56 PDT

During a visit to Nunavut, Governor General Michaelle Jean gutted a seal then ate a slice of its heart. Amazing. Really the best. Can you imagine Adrienne Clarkson doing that? Hell most people you know wouldn't do that. But the Queen's representative in Canada? No problem. Gut that fucker and let me try eating its raw heart. In case you're wondering she said it was "absolutely delicious".

Lonely... I'm So Lonely...

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Fri, 22 May 2009 07:35:46 PDT

After reading this story about what Carla Bruni and Spain's Princess Letizia wore to lunch, one thing becomes apparent. Conrad Black is in desperate need of a conjugal visit.

White Power - OBO

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Thu, 14 May 2009 08:13:57 PDT

Craigslist's Rants And Raves section could give Stormfront a run for its money when it comes to anonymous racist postings.

Here's a sampling of some stuff that's been written about the Tamil protests in Toronto. I'm not going to correct any of the abysmal grammar.

"totally agreed with the people who complained of these foriegner immigrants and defender of terrorists wanting us to fight their wars and keep us from leading our normal day by day loves

and whats worse...have you seen pics of these guys on the newspapers?

they look like black gorillas...no kidding.

they reminded me the "planet of the apes movie", only worse..."

"its about time the canadain people stick up for there selfs aganist these morons they come to this country abuse our systems unreal

time to take action as our goverment sits on there fat asses does nothing i not the only one that thiks this way lots off canadains do we give them a super country to live in they abuse all our rules

let then come on the 401 we barrel though them believe me waken up canada there taken us for suckers jeff minden"

Tiptoes

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Wed, 13 May 2009 08:01:17 PDT

Kate Beckinsale plays a grunger. Gary Oldman plays a dwarf. Matthew McConnaughey is Oldman's full sized brother. Patricia Arquette also plays a dwarf and the movie is called Tiptoes.

Can somebody please buy this for me? Do people still use Amazon wishlists? I'll make one if I have to. Thanks in advance.

Crazy Cam

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Mon, 11 May 2009 08:08:01 PDT

It's basically guaranteed that whatever Cam'ron does will be super weird. This is no exception. The chorus of this track is "Milk milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made." Which I guess is a reference to anal sex because he included an obligatory "No Homo" in the song title.

Now onto the video. It's in two parts. The first is pretty standard but at one point a guy dumps a bottle of apple juice on a woman's face. Then he does a weird dance with the bottle.

Part two on the other hand is bonkers. Dipset is riding around in these fucked up hot-rod golf cart/dune buggies with girls trying to pole dance on the roll bars. The song is better too.

Previous weirdness includes:

1) Releasing a track called Bottom Of Her Pussyhole.
2) Forming his own little BMX gang.
3) Telling Anderson Cooper that he would never snitch. Not even on a serial killer.
4) Getting SUPER specific about no homo. "It's about saying gay things by accident, no homo."
5) Giving an interview that makes you think all of the above is just an act.

Family Photos

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Fri, 08 May 2009 07:17:05 PDT

There are so many great photos on this site that I am debating spending the weekend at Walmart trying to re-stage as many as I can.

A Shot Of Reality

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Thu, 07 May 2009 08:38:46 PDT

Hey guess what? Vaccines don't cause autism. I know your sister's midwife's cousin is studying to be a Reiki master and she says vaccines cause autism. But they don't.

What's that? Jenny McCarthy, a former porn star and nursing school dropout, says they do? Oh well... I guess you should take her word for it. Oh... sorry... She gave her kid vitamins and stopped feeding it gluten and it stopped being autistic? Well I guess it's settled then.

While we're on the topic you know what vaccines do accomplish? They stop the spread of far more dangerous, harmful and contagious diseases. And when you stop vaccinating children those diseases resurface. Besides, the latest research is pointing to a genetic mutation as a likely cause of autism, not preservatives in the shot itself.

If you want to live vaccine free move to fucking Haiti.

Popularity Contest

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Thu, 07 May 2009 08:56:14 PDT

Google has this function where you can enter a couple of search terms and it will tell you which is more popular. And by more popular I mean which term people are searching more often. You can break it down from countries to provinces to regions. Here is what I have found out:

In Ontario blowjobs are much more popular than stockings. People in Pembroke really like blowjobs.

Danzig is way more popular than The Misfits.

Jews and Ukrainians don't give a fuck about The Misfits.

Nobody really dies. The living dead have the run of Southwestern Ontario.

Cursed

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Thu, 07 May 2009 07:17:06 PDT

I think a man put a curse on me this morning. I was riding to work and a big fat guy who had obscured most of his face with black cloth made severe gestures at me. He sort of threw something from his eyes towards mine. He looked like Igor from The Hilarious House of Frightenstein.

For The Record

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 11:15:00 PDT

These are a few pictures from this great website DJ Smack. It's a never ending supply of amazing photos of DJs. Don't bother reading anything. Just look at the pictures.

The Joke Is Over

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 10:50:09 PDT

Comedy songs stop being funny after Grade 6. You hear Monty Python, you laugh, you go to a couple birthday parties, summer comes and then joke songs aren't funny anymore.

Yet there is an entire fucking department of comedy devoted to this shit. And guess what? Someone that you know and like thinks comedy songs funny. My evidence is the fact that I have had the following conversation dozens of times.

Me: Jesus. I just really don't understand why singing a bad joke makes it okay. It doesn't stop being a bad joke just because you're playing acoustic guitar and making a precious little fucking face.

Someone else: What about Flight of The Concords?

Me: Not funny.

Someone else: You have to admit that Bowie song was good.

Me: No I don't. I don't have to admit anything. Those guys are cunts. I bet you like Corky And The Juice Pigs.

I am also not comfortable with the fact that I feel kind of violent when I see this Kate Micucci person. Nice grunge haircut by the way.

Remember this hunk of shit video?

The Milk Run Around

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 09:39:25 PDT

The Globe has a good story about some stupid artist who is still breastfeeding her 2-year-old girl and using it as an excuse to prevent the father from seeing his daughter. A judge has said that she can continue breastfeeding until both mother and daughter are permanently fucked in the head... but she can't restrict the father's access because of it.

Here's an email from the mother that came up in family court:

"A baby belongs with its mother, and if you had an understanding of the needs of a fully breast-fed baby and truly had [her] interests at heart, you would not be bringing this subject up again."

I like to think the "her" in that sentence refers to the mother, not the baby. Because anybody who is still breastfeeding a kid who can talk is doing it for selfish/rotten reasons.

Don't believe me? Watch this.

Please Cover Up

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 08:23:54 PDT

I saw this sandwich board in Chinatown. Can you even fathom how gross it is? Look how long those toes are. He could do card tricks with those things. Not sick enough? Let's make them wet. Still not barfing? Turtle sized toe nails and enough hair to do a foot comb-over.

Love Is In The Hair

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 10:56:19 PDT

Work says my hair doesn't look professional. But I say FUCK THAT! I'm like Samson. If I cut my shit your studio lighting will look like a DOG'S BREAKFAST!

Serious Business

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:28:13 PDT

"I build crowds. Guaranteed. What do you do guaranteed?"

Bone Head

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:37:12 PDT

How could this possibly satisfy any of the tenets of yoga that these goofballs pretend to hold so dear? Is even the most enlightened person able to prepare their bodies for long periods of meditation while a Boston Terrier licks its asshole then sticks its tongue in their mouth? The answer is obviously no. So why then? Because it's possible? Is it like climbing a tiny little dog shit mountain simply because it's there?

Oh no! I just read to the bottom of the article. They call it Doga. Of course they do.

Ripped Off

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 07:03:09 PDT

Did you know that Celine Dion and Rene Angelil have a company called Productions Feeling. Honestly, they called their company Feelings Productions. I can't believe they stole my business name.

Problem

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 07:50:56 PDT

Am I wrong to think that it's kind of presumptuous of Apple to flout the convention of collation and alphabetization? Have you noticed how, for example, artists are listed on your iPod? Randy Newman is under R. Normally he would be under N as is Newman, Randy.

I mean I guess it makes sense. Would you really look for Sex Vid under V? Probably not. Somehow I just get the feeling that they were like "Who gives a fuck about alphabetization. We make white laptops so suck our dicks."

Feeling Randy

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 07:38:01 PDT

Go get this album. It's really good. It's super dark, satirical, funny and the music itself is incredible. If it really bothers you can just skip over You Can Leave Your Hat On. Or you can strip to it. I don't really give a shit.

Cool Runnings

noreply@blogger.com (Disgusting) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:40:06 PDT

Check out this amazing correction that CP issued:

BC-Antarctica-Ice-Shelf, Corrective
INDEX:International
HL:Corrective to fact in BC-Antarctica-Ice-Shelf

THE CANADIAN PRESS

PARIS -- The Canadian Press moved a story April 3 that erroneously
reported The Wilkins Ice Shelf was originally part of Jamaica. In
fact the Ice Shelf, located on the western side of the Antarctic was
originally the size of Jamaica.

The Canadian Press Toronto