And it was such a big loss, that my weekly average for the last 4 weeks went up above a 2 lb per week average, and I got that little “talking to” from the Weight Watchers Online tracker that says I was losing weight too fast. I always have to laugh in its “face” because that’s never really the case. It always ends up evening out. After a big loss like that, I usually follow with a very small one or I break even. This week’s weigh in is case in point.

To be honest, I really thought it was about time for a gain. In fact, I weighed myself yesterday, and I had gained since last week, but I managed to squeak out a 0.4 lb loss when I weighed in this morning. I am super all right with that! I’ll take it! And with that comes my 23rd week of losing weight (and breaking even once)! Really? Yes. And I am starting to piss people off!

Why? Maybe it’s because I bitch and moan and worry and then still lose every week. Or maybe because they think I am sitting around with my legs propped up eating bon-bons all day and I still lose weight. Or maybe because no one’s actually seen “before and after” pictures of me, so they think I am lying and just trying to make everyone else miserable. I don’t know!

I’m fairly certain that I would be jealous of me too! And actually, I have been in the past. This isn’t my first rodeo, folks. I suffered several years of failure and gaining even more weight over those years. So, I feel your pain. Even now, I always think I could be eating better, working out more, and losing more! I blame The Biggest Loser. Although inspiring, it also makes me think I am super-human and can do as much as they do while still holding down a full time job and having a life!

Not everyone is able to lose weight every week. As I say, every “body” is different. I’ve finally learned that comparing your progress to others gets you nowhere but sad and frustrated! Just because you are not losing every week does not mean you are not doing amazing healthy things for your body! So pull up your big girl panties, keep on keepin’ on, and be happy for yourself!!!

(See, no bitching and moaning from me this week! And P.S. “Before and After” or should I say “before and progress” pictures coming soon… just in case there are nay-sayers. )

Weight: 146.3 lbs
Change this week: -0.4 lbs
Total lost: -54.8 lbs
You can also check all my progress

And if you’re wondering, it’s not actually week 23 on Weight Watchers, it’s just week 23 of giving weekly updates since re-committing myself to the program.

That’s right. Did you read that? 5o. pounds. gone.

I cannot believe it. I really and truly am proud of myself deep down inside, but I think I might be in some sort of state of shock that I have lost that much. For some reason, it doesn’t feel like it could be that much, and I was actually somewhat hesitant to “announce it to the world” because I greatly fear that next week I will gain it back.

One would think that with me being all MIA lately, that I was working hard on this for the last 3 weeks, but I’ve been busy having a social life again and helping a friend in a time of crisis, and all of this involved less activity and more eating and drinking. In fact, way back in week 19, I didn’t have a loss or a gain, and had actually worked pretty hard and was on point that week and everything. I had written up this long post complaining about it and how I was probably starting a plateau, and now here I am. I still just can’t believe it!!!

In fact this week, I can’t even tell you that I busted ass at all this week. I had an off week! I ended up 9 points over, fitbit’s food log told me I was over my 1000 calorie deficit goal almost every day, I earned less activity points than I have been, and had lots of food and drinks (like margaritas and sangrias… oh the points!!!) that I had to estimate. I just don’t believe that I possibly could have lost 2.6 lbs this week!

Maybe my body is making up for the week with no loss? Maybe I underestimated my activity points and over estimated my food and drinks at social events? Maybe it’s not going to show up until next week? Maybe my scale broken?!? And maybe it’s because my doctor changed my blood pressure medication from a combo beta-blocker/diuretic to just a diuretic (a.k.a. water pill) at a higher dose this week, so that made me lose water weight?

Maybe I just underestimate myself entirely? I seriously weighed myself several times this morning because I just didn’t believe that I had actually lost any weight this week. I am really proud of my pretty teal bouncy 50 lb star up there, but I feel like I don’t deserve it when I was just not that good this week! And I feel like it’s going to show up next week, and then it’s no longer going to be 50 lbs.

So, let me give myself a little self-talk here. 1) Shut up, and be proud!!! Even if it goes back to something like 48 lbs total, that is still almost 50, and that is freaking amazing, so get over it! 2) You didn’t blow your whole week. You tracked everything, and Monday and Tuesday you made sure you were on point and you even ran for 15 minutes on 4.3 MPH on Monday to get to your 10,000 steps… something you have NEVER done before!

Yep, so that’s also another super-cool thing that happened. I had to walk on my treadmill on Monday night (instead of my usual outdoor walk) because it was after 9:30pm before I had time. Since I could get away with just wearing my sports bra and shorts, sweat like a pig, and make funky noises… all required for me to run!… in the privacy of my own home, I thought I would try to add a little. I think I ran the first 10 minutes straight of my walk, and I couldn’t believe it! I am just amazed at how much more in shape I am! Plus I could get to my 10,000 steps in a shorter amount of time! So the plan was to tgry to get in some more running on Tuesday night. And then tragedy struck.

I was watching The Biggest Loser finale last night, and had to get on the treadmill again, and watching them, I wanted to run even more! But about 7 minutes into it, my hip muscle became very painful and then I couldn’t hardly even walk. Oy. Now I remember why I don’t run. I inevitably pull something then I am out of commission physically and can’t do anything at all for a few days. So, YAY I ran!  BOO, I’m injured. And yes, add that to the list of fears of why I think I will gain my loss back next week!

So as I start out this new week, I hope to take it in stride, and do my best to eat right even though my physical activity will be limited. (Hell, I should enjoy not having to do physically activity, right!?!) And just be happy about how far I’ve come!!! I just need to remember, that no matter what happens, I have lost 50 freaking pounds as of today. And that is one hell of an accomplishment.

Weight: 150.2 lbs
Change this week: -2.6 lbs
Total lost: -50.9 lbs
You can also check all my progress

And if you’re wondering, it’s not actually week 21 on Weight Watchers, it’s just week 21 of giving weekly updates since re-committing myself to the program.

But I believe you can have your grilled cheese, and eat it too. And although it is actually National Grilled Cheese Month as well, I do not suggest eating one every day! So, first thing’s first. Portion control. Measure everything. Secondly, make use of lower fat, lower calorie, and/or lower carb items. Use healthy oils, light butter spreads, or cooking spray instead of butter. (Ok, if the taste of butter is what you think makes a grilled cheese sing, leave it in, but limit it. One tablespoon of butter is 100 calories, 11 grams of fat, and 3 PointsPlus.) Lastly, try adding veggies, lean meats, or even fruit to add flavor and substance to make up for less cheese.

So go ahead! Celebrate National Grilled Cheese Day today with one of these healthier versions from across the internet!

Just the Cheese

Grilled Three-Cheese Sandwiches with Swiss, cheddar, and blue cheese on low carb multi-grain bread [The Complete Step-By-Step Low Carb Cookbook] (329 cal, 18.2g fat, 8 PointsPlus)

Grilled Cheese with provolone on whole grain bread, made with peanut oil instead of butter [Flat Belly Diet! for Men] (409 cal, 26.8g fat, 11 PointsPlus)

Veggie

Garden Grilled Cheese with cheddar, artichoke, and roasted red peppers on sourdough [Cooking Light] (264 cal, 7.6g fat, 7 PointsPlus)

Grilled Beet Sandwich with mozzarella, spinach, beets, basil, and balsamic vinegar on a whole grain sandwich thin [Green Lite Bites] (205 cal, 7g fat, 5 PointsPlus)

Grilled Pimiento Cheese Sandwiches with sharp and white cheddar and tomato on light or wheat bread [Southern Living] (241 cal, 12.4g fat, 7 PointsPlus)

Grilled Cheese Sandwich with mozzarella, tomato, and basil on whole wheat bread [WebMD] (323 cal, 12g fat, 8 PointsPlus)

Sweet and Spicy Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with cheddar, pepper jack, red onion, and tomato on whole wheat [Ellie Krieger] (350 cal, 18g fat, 9 PointsPlus)

Savory Pumpkin Grilled Cheese with Laughing Cow Light Swiss, fat free cheddar, cayenne, and pumpkin puree on light bread [Hungry Girl] (215 cal, 6g fat, 5 PointsPlus)

Hot Chile Grilled Cheese with pablano peppers, pinto beans, salsa, and Monterey Jack on sourdough [EatingWell] (415 cal, 6g fat, 10 PointsPlus)

Meaty

Grown-Up Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with bacon, white cheddar, spinach, tomato, and red onion on hearty white bread [Cooking Light] (376 cal, 11g fat, 10 PointsPlus)

Smokey Grilled Ham & Cheese with lean smoked ham, tomato, Parmesan and Swiss on whole wheat [Diet.com] (395 cal, 11g fat, 10 PointsPlus)

Cajun Grilled Ham and Cheese Sandwiches with pineapple, red onion & Colby on whole grain. [Mother Rimmy's Cooking Light Done Right] (487 cal, 9.1g fat, 13 PointsPlus)

Sausage Stuffed Breakfast Grilled Cheese with meatless or turkey sausage, fat free American, Laughing Cow Light Swiss, and sugar free pancake syrup on light bread [Hungry Girl] (270 cal, 9.5g fat, 7 PointsPlus)

Grilled Cheese with Apples and Bacon with cheddar and Dijon on whole grain bread [Cook This, Not That!: Kitchen Survival Guide] (298 cal, 9.4g fat, 7 PointsPlus)

The Rock Center Slender Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with turkey bacon, cheddar, tomato, and alfalfa sprouts on seven-grain bread [Cabot] (390 cal, 16g fat, 11 PointsPlus)

Sweet

Grilled Goat Cheese Sandwiches with Fig and Honey with basil on cinnamon-raisin bread [Cooking Light] (243 cal, 8.5g fat, 6 PointsPlus)

Apple ‘n Jack Grilled Cheese with onion and Monterey Jack on light bread [Hungry Girl] (236 cal, 10g fat, 6 PointsPlus)

Makeover Deluxe Grilled Cheese with onion, apple, cheddar, and goat cheese on french bread [Healthy Cooking] (225 cal, 12g fat, 6 PointsPlus)

Gooey Grilled Cheese with fig jam or grape jelly, pear, and havarti or Monterey Jack on light whole wheat bread [Fitness] (296 cal, 13g fat, 8 PointsPlus)