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Divorce more deadly for young women

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 09:41:11 GMT

It's no surprise that going through a divorce is up there when it comes to stressful life hurdles. One only need look at Demi Moore to see a very public example of how the dissolution of a marriage can throw a substantial spanner in the works; not two months after announcing her divorce from Ashton Kutcher did she check into rehab for purported "eating disorder and addiction issues" following a nitrous oxide-fuelled seizure.

Coming an astounding second on the Social Readjustment Rating Scale – which measures how the resultant stress of traumatic events impact negatively on an individual's mental and physical health – divorce ranks higher than the loss of a close friend or significant personal injury and is preceded only by the death of a spouse when it comes to heightened risk of illness. But what you may not know is that, when it comes to divorce, the younger you are the more likely that you'll suffer negative health consequences.

A recent Michigan State University study found that those who got divorced between the ages of 35 and 41 self-reported a higher incident of illness than those who divorced between 44 and 50; with both groups noting more health problems than their still-married counterparts.

"Generally, the divorced rated worse health than the married and the gap is bigger among the younger groups than the older groups," said study author Hui Liu, assistant professor in sociology at Michigan State University. "I think the stress affects physical health through psychological and physiological responses."

Analysing data collected from 1282 participants over a 15-year period, Liu's report backs-up a 2009 study that suggests divorcees are 20 per cent more likely to suffer chronic health problems such as heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Though it wasn't until now that social scientists made the link to an increased risk for younger women.

"Younger women are more likely to have young children to help through the split, which can cause enormous stress," hypothesised Jo Lamble, a Sydney-based clinical psychologist specialising in relationship, family and parenting issues. "If they have not had children, then the added stress-related health problems could be due to the pressure to find another partner with whom to have children."Admitting that she was surprised by the results, Liu initially imagined that the prevalence of divorce among the younger peer group and increased possibility of finding a new partner would equate to an easier adjustment period. Instead, in addition to the factor of small children, she chalks the findings up to the fact that the older demographic have more experience coping with stressful situations and societal pressure among that generation to stay married means many feel a sense of relief when they finally divorce.

"Older divorcees have more life experience and coping resources to handle stress and they may know better how to cope with the stress from divorce," she added. "Younger divorcees are relatively less mature and may not be good at handling the stress."

But why do married couples seem to enjoy better health overall? Rather than surviving on love alone, Liu says the reality is far more pragmatic and to do with financial stability and access to adequate healthcare resources. A study by the University of Michigan has found that women are more likely than men to lose their health insurance following a divorce. Though the research was conducted in the US where lack of public healthcare makes things substantially direr, Liu says the findings can be extrapolated to include all recent divorcees.

"Marriage has long been argued to promote health by providing protective resource to health," she said. "For example, married people usually pool income which increases the available economic resources. Married couples also often provide emotional support to each other and regulate each other's health behaviours. All of these factors may explain why married people are healthier."

Liu emphasises that the research should not be used as an argument to dissuade women from escaping untenable or unfulfilling relationships. Though it's true that many individuals experience high levels of stress and subsequent illness, the findings also state that those who report a decline in health in the aftermath of a divorce eventually return to the same level as their married counterparts. This shows that it's the process of a divorce itself that causes the stress, not the simple fact of being single. Once the initial period has passed and the individual has adjusted to any financial disparity there is no discernable difference between the groups.

"It is not the status of being married or divorced, per se, that affects health, but instead is the process of transitioning from marriage to divorce that is stressful and hurts health," said Liu. There are also ways for those currently undergoing or considering a divorce to minimise the impact on their health in the short-to-medium term. Lamble suggests surrounding yourself with a supportive network of family and friends, forming healthy eating and exercise habits and seeking individual counselling if you feel you're not able to cope at home or in the workplace. "Being as physically healthy as you can will minimise the impact," said Lamble. "Focusing on the here and now – otherwise known as mindfulness – instead of the past can greatly reduce stress, and focussing on the well-being of the children helps everyone."

Divorcing Women: Don't Make These Five Costly Mistakes

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 14:41:48 GMT

Over the past year, my blog posts here have been devoted to helping women better understand the steps they need to take so they can emerge from divorce in the best financial shape possible. Today, I want to take a different tack and discuss various things women should AVOID doing while they’re in the process of divorce.

Taken individually, any one of these mistakes might derail the efforts of even the most skilled divorce team. Combine a few of them, and you could substantially reduce your chances of a successful divorce settlement. (Please note: Most of these have legal implications, and the laws vary from state to state, so please consult with your divorce attorney as soon as possible).

1 – Texting. Every type of electronic communication has the potential to leave a digital trail. That means your Tweets, your emails, your text messages and every type of electronic transmission in-between could possibly end up under a microscope (so to speak) being painstakingly scrutinized by your husband’s divorce team in hopes of bolstering his case.

It happens all the time!

A resounding 92 percent of the nation’s top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using evidence taken from iPhones, Droids and other smart phones during the past three years, according to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). In addition, nearly all (94 percent) of the respondents cited an overall rise in the use of text messages as evidence during the same time period.

2 – Facebooking. In other research, the AAML also found that social media sites now play a prominent role in many divorce cases.

Overall, 81 percent of AAML members cited an increase in the use of evidence from social networking websites during the past five years. Nearly two-thirds (66 percent) of the AAML respondents reported Facebook as the primary source of this type of evidence. MySpace followed with 15 percent, Twitter at 5 percent and other choices listed by 14 percent.

What role do social media sites play in the courtroom? The answer to that is simple. Status updates, online photo albums, profile pages, comments, etc. can all be used as evidence to contradict statements previously made and to help prove infidelity, mishandling of assets, emotional instability, alcohol/drug use, etc.

3 – Dating. Divorce proceedings can be protracted and grueling. But, don’t make the mistake of turning to a boyfriend to help you cope. Depending on the state in which you are divorcing, dating before your divorce is finalized could possibly jeopardize your case. In fact, in many states, dating before your divorce is finalized can legally be considered adultery.

Even joining an online dating website can raise red flags. As I mentioned above, electronic communication is now commonly used as evidence in divorce cases. If you feel you absolutely must date while you are in the process of divorcing, please consult with your divorce attorney as soon as possible and carefully consider the consequences.

4 – Snooping. Sometimes, it’s hard to resist the urge to snoop into your husband’s affairs –especially if you have reason to suspect he is up to no good. But beware. A few years ago, a Michigan man was up against felony charges after he accessed his wife’s Gmail account to learn about her extra-marital affair.

Granted, these laws vary from state to state, but most prohibit the intentional interception of wire, electronic or oral communication (aka, “wiretapping”). Privacy law experts continue to debate how these laws apply now that digital communication dominates our lives, but even so, it’s always better to err on the side of caution and keep yourself out of hot water. Again, I advise consulting with your divorce attorney so you better understand what laws apply where you live.

Of course, “snooping” can get very sophisticated these days, as hi-tech spying software is becoming surprisingly common. In certain instances, the law is unambiguous. For example, it’s clearly illegal to install spy ware on a computer owned by someone else. But, in other instances, the law is more opaque. Installing spy ware on a computer jointly owned by two people can lead you into murky legal territory (and can even raise questions about whether the computer under consideration is separate or marital property). Before you add significant complications to your case, be sure you understand both the federal and state laws that apply.

And here’s another word of caution: Even if you don’t intend to snoop, it still makes sense to learn about your rights and what is and isn’t allowed in your state. After all, you need to stay vigilant. Your husband could be illegally snooping on you.

5 – Shopping. Many people view shopping as a form of feel-good therapy, but please, if you’re going through a divorce (or even contemplating one), resist the urge to determine how well this “remedy” works. Now is not the time to increase your debt or to “get-back” at your spouse by spending (dissipating) marital assets.

Be careful what you text if you’re heading for divorce

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 11:26:32 GMT

Couples who may be heading for a nasty break-up should be careful about texting because it could end up as evidence against them in divorce court. More than 90 per cent of America’s top divorce attorneys said they have seen a spike in the number of cases using evidence from iPhones and other smartphones in the past three years, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML).

The rise in texting evidence follows a similar trend two years ago when the AAML, a professional group of 1,600 members who handle prenuptial agreements, legal separations, annulments, custody battles, property divisions and the rights of unmarried couples, noticed a surge in evidence from Facebook pages.
“With emails you can think about and rewrite them. There is a window of opportunity to rethink what you are saying but text messaging is immediate,” said Ken Altshuler, the president of the AAML. “We get a lot of text messages that people send out without thinking.”

He described texts as “spontaneous venting” that can come back to haunt people because they are written records of someone’s thoughts, actions and intentions. Even a text message on a phone overlooked by someone over their shoulder, if the person is credible, can cause problems in divorce hearings.

“I have used text messaging for cross examination,” said Altshuler, who has also submitted texts as evidence. “I would say in the last six months there have been a lot of text messages involved in litigation. For whatever reason, people are texting more and not thinking about what they are texting.”

Text messaging was the most common form of divorce evidence taken from smartphones, according to the AAML poll, followed by emails, phone numbers, call histories, GPS and Internet search histories.

Altshuler believes at least part of the reason for the surge in text evidence is because people think text messaging is safe, because it isn’t easy to print out. “Not everybody can print out a text message. You have to know how to do it,” he explained.

Altshuler advises his clients not to use Facebook, which was the main source of divorce evidence from social media in a previous poll, but added that only about half follow his advice. He is equally cautious about other emailing.

“Anything that is in writing, you have to assume that someday a judge is going to see it. So, if it is not something that you don’t want a judge to see, don’t write it down.”He added it applies particularly to text messages. “You can erase yours but it doesn’t mean they erase theirs.” — Reuters

Really? Kids of Divorced Parents More Likely To Have a Stroke?!

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 12:47:39 GMT

If you are an adult child of divorced parents (or you are a divorced parent yourself), prepare to grit your teeth in frustration! The Los Angeles Times recently featured a study that says adult children of parents who divorced before the kids were 18 are more than twice as likely to have a stroke!

University of Toronto professor of social work Esme Fuller-Thomson, who conducted the study with colleagues Angela Dalton and Ruksha Mehta, said these hiked rates of stroke may "reflect the downstream effects of divorce's emotional toll, or the economic fallout from a parental split." After tweaking the data to consider variables such as education, gender, income, mental health diagnoses and diabetes, the link still remained. However, the study did consider the caveat that when we adults were young kids, divorce was far less common, and that the stigmas surrounding it have since all but dissolved.

Soooo ... fifty percent of American marriages end in divorce, and those who divorce with young kids are making them twice as likely to have a stroke later on in life?! This seems insane! Perhaps the climate of times past did play a considerable role in the outcome of the study, and with old-school stigmas concerning divorce long gone, children whose parents divorce today won't experience any such toll on their health. However, this study does raise a highly personal question: Are unhappy couples raising children together any better or worse off than a pair of happier, single adults? Feel free to weigh in!

Divorce Prevention

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 13:06:03 GMT

A third of all marriages end in divorce every year in the US. In some states, such as California, the divorce rate is as high as 50%, with some sources quoting it at a dizzying 75% of all marriages. Is marriage a dying social institution? That rather depends on how well a relationship is run in the first place. Here are five top divorce prevention tips to help you stay on the right side of those statistics.

1. Make time for your spouse
Couples can significantly improve their married relationship by devoting at least 20-minutes of their time every day to their partner. This time should be exclusively theirs, without any form of interruption. This provides an ideal opportunity for both partners to communicate with each other, so creating a meaningful bond in the relationship. It also provides an avenue for each partner to fully express their feelings about each other and the relationship in general.

2. Regularly compliment your partner
One of the easiest divorce prevention techniques to adopt is to regularly compliment your spouse. This could be a verbal compliment such as a “you look lovely today”, or it could be a written note, or even a hug of appreciation for him/her. These are the types of actions that provide the glue that bond two people together in marriage.

3. Love your spouse by his/her rules
Relationship difficulties quite often spring from misunderstandings and/or non-communication issues. You might think that your spouse will appreciate a gift that you like, but he/she might not see it the same way and wish you had not bothered. Your partner may take it as a sign that you do not understand his/her needs, while you may feel that he/she does not appreciate your sentiments. The result is friction in the relationship, which could quite easily boil over into a needless argumentÃ¢â‚¬Â¦possibly taking you one step closer to a divorce! Play by your spouse’s rules when it comes to love and you’ll be well on the way towards divorce prevention.

4. Look your best!
Lust in married relationships is always there, but some married couples struggle to keep hold of it, and can often fall out of lust with their partner, perhaps after as little as a few months of married life. An invaluable divorce prevention method is to keep that lust alive. Look your best for your partner as often as you can. Dress well, eat well and exercise. If you remind your partner of how sexy you are, then you’ll rekindle the lust that you first experienced when your relationship began.

5. Be faithful
Remembering your wedding vows and remaining faithful to your partner, no matter what, is another top divorce prevention tip. In a 1998 study conducted by Dr. Finnegan Alford-Cooper, in which 576 couples who had intact marriages after 50 years were interviewed, a whopping 95% said that being faithful was integral to the long-term survival of their marriage. Keep this in mind and your marriage stands a better chance than most.

Separation and divorce Charges In America And also other American Nations around the world

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:20:04 GMT

The interest rate at which men and women divorce proceedings differs from country to country. Nonetheless, collecting regarding divorce proceedings statistics via various countries is tough due to the fact a number of countries usually do not relieve their particular recognized records. Nevertheless, many divorce proceedings records present the particular numbers three to four years back, as well as despite this situation, you are able to make responses on divorce proceedings rates in certain American countries.

In the united states, it can be generally accepted in which around 50% coming from all partnerships fail compared to additional countries like Australia, the united kingdom as well as North america. You can find approaches investigating divorce proceedings statistics. Regarding doradztwo podatkowe occasion, search for the amount of cases of divorce arise every head regarding population. In the united states, the recent numbers show 8 men and women every One thousand from the population get divorced in comparison to the American countries along with 5 divorced men and women every One thousand folks the people.

In america it can be easier and much more correct to create your current examine over a condition fairly noclegi sopot when compared to a government time frame. Every single condition is needed to retain marriage as well as divorce proceedings records and you will receive pertinent data via the proper federal government body in every single certain condition.

The interest rate regarding divorce proceedings has transferred significantly in a few countries just lately. In the UK, the speed regarding divorce proceedings has dropped by about 15% recently; Australias divorce proceedings fee has risen significantly. Obviously the particular statisticians give you the raw files along with the experts give you the views as to the reasons this really is thus. Around australia as an example, the particular noticeable increase in the speed regarding divorce proceedings is likely to have occurred because of alterations in government legislation, so that it is much better to obtain a divorce proceedings. By launching the causes regarding irreconcilable variances, couples desperate to divorce proceedings basically had to distinct for any arranged bare minimum period of time and then listing the causes regarding divorce proceedings since irreconcilable variances.

The interest rate regarding divorce proceedings can include data apart from the overall variety of cases of divorce as being a amount of most partnerships. You can get the typical period of a relationship along with the grow older at which everyone is very likely to divorce proceedings. As an illustration there exists a large dissolution regarding partnerships in the first few a few years the lowest variety of marriage downfalls after a couple has applied for numerous years of marriage. This isn’t to state couples do not divorce proceedings at various phases of these unification however in which partnerships are more czartery jacht w likely to stop working during the early years than in case a couple has become wedded for some time.

Currently, the typical period of marriage in the United States ten years. This particular fact and many others supply an interesting– otherwise gloomy look at marriage– as well as feasible disappointment. Separation and divorce rates in addition mirror the particular social conditions that encompass marriage including the growing variety of ladies in the staff, the modification in divorce proceedings guidelines along with the relieve which divorce proceedings can be obtained right now.

Couples seeking a quick divorce can seperate in the Dominican Republic - thanks to a Bridgend firm

Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:44:33 GMT

COUPLES looking for a quick divorce are being offered the opportunity – as part of a £4,500 package holiday to the Caribbean. Bridgend business QuickDivorceUK.com was set up by Aimee and Benjamin Edwards (pictured) and the company will fly one or both unhappy partners to the Dominican Republic where a judge can divorce them in a 10-minute hearing.

Air fares, hotel and paperwork are all included in the deal which accelerates a process which can take at least four months, or even stretch to years, in the UK. Mrs Edwards, who lives in Bridgend, said 12 couples had already expressed an interest in the service. “We have had a bit of negative attitude about our service, but the majority has been positive,” said the 26-year-old.

“We’ve had calls from people all over the UK, one from America and one from someone in the Dominican Republic itself asking for our help. “But we are trying to keep it local to the UK at the moment.

“People in Bridgend have been ringing us to say well done since they’ve heard about the business – we’ve been keeping it a secret until Saturday night.”The service went live on the eve of Valentine’s Day and, in one day, clients can fly to the Caribbean, see a judge the following morning, then fly home that afternoon, or stay longer in the sun if they choose. Mrs Edwards said the decrees obtained in the Dominican Republic would be recognised in the UK.

But independent legal experts warned if any aspect of the split was later contested, the divorce may not stand. Mrs Edwards, who set up the company a year ago, said: “I wasn’t nervous about setting up this service at all, we totally believe in our business and we have every confidence.

“We were hearing from our clients that the process wasn’t fast enough in Britain, that’s why we came up with this and we can accommodate any needs. “It involved a lot, and I mean a lot, of research. A lot of time went into it, we spoke with lawyers and teamed up with Dominican Republic lawyers.”

The Divorce Debate

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 10:23:45 GMT

There are Senators in the State Legislature that feel no requirements should be placed on individuals who desire to divorce. Some feel divorce should be as easy as possible, for this reason it is very difficult to pass any new divorce laws. However, children are often a tragic casualty and couples should consider the destructive consequences of divorce. Nebraska Family Council is supporting State Senator Tony Fulton’s efforts to pass legislative bill 408.

This bill states when one party to a divorce proceeding does not believe the marriage is irretrievably broken or where there is a minor child involved in the marriage, the court has options to encourage the couple to reconsider. If this bill passes a judge could either order the parties to undergo counseling, stop the divorce proceedings for up to six months, or take other actions in the best interest of the parties and minor child. This bill is still stuck in Judiciary Committee.

As we debate the merits of a range of solutions, on how to lower the divorce rate, it is imperative we do not forget that one of the main reasons government is involved in this area is to protect and provide for children.

Some have argued that any divorce intervention will prove futile in altering the behavior of people determined to split. Certainly in some cases, divorce or separation may be inevitable. But are all couples who file for divorce absolutely determined or locked in the kind of angry conflict that makes divorce the only realistic alternative? Research suggests otherwise.

Well into the divorce process, a surprisingly high proportion of divorcing couples question the wisdom of their divorce decision. Sixty-six percent of currently divorced Minnesotans answered “yes” to the question “Looking back, do you wish you and your ex-spouse had tried harder to work through your differences?” Qualitative research suggests that even among married couples who eventually choose to divorce, divorce was not necessarily inevitable or the best outcome.

The majority of divorces today appear to be taking place in relatively low-conflict marriages. Less than a third of divorcing parents appeared to be in violent or high-conflict marriages. A study in Florida stated that one of the top ten reasons individuals divorce is simple boredom with their partner.

Nebraska Family Council promotes and has sponsored “Weekend to Remember” for the past three years in Lincoln and Omaha. It is a weekend marriage seminar. Here are only two of the many comments following the weekend.

Kiwi radio station offers free Valentine’s Day divorce

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:38:24 GMT

Many women anticipate receiving flowers, a box of chocolates or maybe even a marriage proposal from their significant others for Valentine’s Day.

But the last thing they would expect to receive is a very public request for a divorce. That is exactly what one unfortunate New Zealand woman will be getting from her husband tomorrow. The Rock, a national radio station in New Zealand, is offering a man the opportunity to tell his wife he wants a divorce live over the radio on Valentine’s Day.

The stunt is part of the Rock’s “Win a Divorce” competition. In exchange for his participation, the 31-year-old man, identified as Sam, will have his divorce paid for by the radio station. The Rock’s website says the competition is targeted at “poor blokes who thought they married an angel who, in fact, turned out to be Satan in a dress”.

But the station has got into some hot water over the contest with family advocacy groups. Bob McCoskrie, the national director of Family First NZ, said: “The radio station is simply feeding off the misery of others. They are willing to pay for the divorce – will they also pay for counselling?“

The station is known for pushing the boundaries with its campaigns. Last year, it held a “Win a Wife” competition, where the winner received a 12-day trip to Ukraine to select a bride.

Divorce For Men - Divorce Tactics For Men

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:34:46 GMT

Divorce For Men: If you are a man involved in divorce then you need specific divorce tactics for men. They may not always seem intuitive, kinda like when a car goes into a skid. Your mind screams slam on the breaks and turn the other way - but experts say stay off the brakes and turn into the skid - go figure...

First thing get your head into it. Don't trust it all to your lawyer. Sometimes they have more than they can deal with and you might get the standard wash, rinse, repeat treatment where they fill out the papers - a few calls with the other side and they give it to the judge to sign. That may be OK if you know what's going on and what is possible. You've got to arm yourself with insider information and stay on top of this thing the whole way.

If you are a man facing divorce: The simple truth is when it comes to divorce the scales of justice really do tip toward women. The bias could cost you tens of thousands of dollars. If you are not careful, if you do not enter your divorce with the insider knowledge very few know, you could lose EVERYTHING!

Right now, thousands upon thousands of men are paying way too much in child support and alimony and they don't even know it! They are struggling to make their monthly payments and their wives are using the extra money to get "beauty treatments," to buy new clothes, to make payments on the fancy new car they just bought and much more!