In a couple of hours I will be flying to Penang. Tonight I am meeting the Vice Chancellor of USM over dinner to discuss the development of publications that USM and my company are producing together. Yes, your mother do produces highly academic books and if the VC and my boss finds out how I write in this website, I think I most probably will get fired.

On Thursday and Friday, I will be following the CEO and of my company for visits to a few aerospace and electronics company in Kulim. I will come back home very late on Friday.

I miss you already.

I know you will miss nenen me too. Please be cooperative with your Daddy. He may not have the boobs but he loves you too. Try to sit still for awhile when he tries to feed you okay? And please go to sleep tonight. Even when I am not around, just think that the EBM is a part of me too.

Be strong Miki, and don’t cry so much when I am not around. I don’t know how I am going to do it but I will try to be strong and not cry so much too.

Love,

Mummy.

Isn’t Miki such a cutey?

1)must have some space for planting cabbage (Azman’s requirement);

2)must be within walking distance to a Giant hypermarket (my requirement);

3)must have a piece of land for Miki to play with dirt and stomp on Daddy’s cabbage (Miki’s requirement);

4)must have easy access to all shopping malls in Klang Valley (my requirement);

5)must be in a matured neighborhood (our requirement);

6)must be in a neighbourhood with equal ratio of all major races (our requirement) etc.

Why cabbage and why Giant I cannot answer but check out the houses below that we have shortlisted. All are situated in strategic Bandar Kinrara with lovely, peaceful and matured neighborhood.

House no 1 : The One With KFC Walls

This house is situated in the same neighbourhood that we are staying now. Single story corner lot. 4 rooms and 2 baths, very nicely renovated with wet and dry kitchen, has got kitchen cabinets and fresh coat of paint. But it has hideous hideous tiles as wall furnishing in dining room and kitchen that makes me feel like I am living in a KFC restaurant. Very easily accessible for us, our visitors and our burglars too.
Price: Feverishly affordable. Still have enough money to eat rice once a day after paying mortgage. With sardines. The rest of the time - fasting! Miki must learn to imagine Colgate boxes are toy cars if he wants any toy cars.

House no 2 : The One with Colorful Murals

This one is currently tenant-occupied and operates as a kindergarten. 20×70 4 rooms 3 baths with extra land so wide its more than 20 feet on the side and back. Airy with nice green view from balcony. A basic house so no kitchen cabinets whatsoever. Fell in love with its location and surrounding atmosphere, if only the owner wants to repaint the colorful wall with something decent.
Price: Brain hemorrhage lung crushingly affordable. Still have enough money to eat rice twice a week after paying mortgage. With fried anchovies. Miki must be potty trained by the time he is 8 months to save money from buying diapers.

House no 3: The One with a lot of Windows

Large 22×75, four bedrooms and three baths. Brand new, never been occupied before in a “neighborhood of rich people” as the agent puts it. If we stay here we will become the cikai-est. It has a cool air well section by the front door, great for Miki to swim a fish pond or small fountain. Secluded end lot with extra more than 10 feet of land on side and back. Its at the end of the cul de sac, so it has limited accessibility. Cumbersome for us, our visitors and our buglars too.
Price: Hemorrhoids causing intestine knottingly affordable. Same price with No 2. Still have enough money to eat rice twice a week after paying mortgage. With ikan masin. Miki must learn to drink from cups because we are cutting milk bottle and nursing bra money allocations.

House no 4: The Cool but Ugly One

In the same neighborhood we are staying now. This is old photo. Now it looks like a war-torn battleground. Extreme ugliness of the paint and maintenance level. But cool extra 20feet of land, extended kitchen that’s very-very spacious with kitchen cabinets, bars etc installed. Next to school and in front of shops. 4 rooms and 3 baths. Leveled dining and living room, not very kids friendly.
Price : Heart stopping kidney failing stroke evokingly affordable. Eat sand after start paying mortagage. Must pluck all armpit hair just for downpayment. Miki hantar balik kampong.

Hahaha! So what do you guys think?

Anyhow I was nice and fat last Monday. Then on Tuesday I was hit by an infuriating attack of food poisoning, one so terrible that I could not sleep the whole night. I was barfing my guts out until I have nothing to threw up anymore but green-green gall bladder juice. Then came diarrhea, every a few minutes I need to run to the bathroom to release poopoo so loose, my butt felt like it was a water tap. Gross.

By Thursday I got better. Only slightly feverish but my nose was running faster than Watson Nyambek. And much to my horror,I found that my clothes had mysteriously gone bigger. Damn! Just 2 days after I had a bad, bug infested lunch; I lost 5 whole precious kilogrammes!

That makes me a 45 kilos skeletal hot momma. I know that number is not a big deal for many girls but for someone who is 5’6 with lanky frame; not only it makes me ineligible for blood donation but legally underweight too. And when dancing to Shakira, a broom stick creates more momentum in every gelek than I do. Haha!

Anyhow, food poisoning had returned me back to my anak dara weight that I had when I was a first year student in UM long-long time not too long ago…

I entered the university as a healthy 18 year old, well fed by my Mama with home cooked meals and all those delicious Penang food that you can think of. I must have weighed 50+++ kilos because at that time I wore Levi’s size 27 & 28.

After just a couple of months of living in KL as a student, I began to emaciate. There was no Mama to ensure there’s food on the table when I got home from class; there was also no char kuey teow; no nasi kandar, no nothing!!! I ate a lot of fast food because regular food that was available to me at that time sucks. I ate a lot of First College’s cafeteria food also due to the convenience.

The fact that I didn’t have a ride helped too! Whenever all my friends ponteng kelas I had no friends to give me a lift, I walked to and fro First College and the Computer Science Faculty. If you have been to Universiti Malaya, I am sure you can make out the painful distance. And you can also reckon how high up the hill my Faculty was located.. That’s walking down from the residential college, pass the field, around the lake, through Perdana Siswa, across the parking lot, pass the library, the Science Faculty, then up up up up the hill… Phew!

From 50+++ kilos, I turned into a 45kilos walking broom stick within a couple of months. All my jeans and pants and skirts could not be worn anymore and I had to buy new ones. From jeans size 28, I switched to 24 and that size stayed with me for 6 years.

In 2006 I got married and ate a lot of healthy home cooked meals prepared by Azman’s kind loving wife - ME! So I finally managed to increase my weight to 48 kilos. Not that it made any difference to the way I look – like a model twig!

During my pregnancy, I ate like a horse and I put on more than 20 kilos! Weeeeee!!! My nose blew up to the size of an apple, my thighs like Beyonce’s a tree trunk and my butt got a few inches smaller than planet Jupiter. Need I mention the size of my tummy? At nine months, I was 70kilos heavy but somehow, I still didn’t need any maternity dresses; I was clad in stretchable Nichii dresses and spandex pants throughout. All those Modern Mum craps was too baggy for me.

After Mikael was born I became weight conscious for a while. My company’s family day was going to be held right after my maternity leave ended, I wanted to go and was afraid that I didn’t have anything to wear. That was the whole reason for the stupid anxiety. Anyhow thanks to breastfeeding, by the time Mikael was 2 months old I was already back in my 24inch Levi’s! Weee!! My weight was ngam-ngam 50 kilos, not too thin and just nice to suit my new title as a Mom! Everyday I eat a lot and drinks lots and lots of water too! Mainly to maintain the production of milk and at the same time maintain my 50kg weight. Which I managed to do for 6 months until last week. Damn.

I don’t have the time to be beauty conscious these days. I am 45kg and I am just gonna be happy. Though I know I have shrunk a lot from since I was 18, I have learned to really love my body. When you are thin, ladies and gentlemen, you tend to look younger. Plus there’s absolutely nothing that I cannot wear, and most of the time I wear it with a panache. Going shopping is easy, I can always find clothes my size, I even bought tops from Guess Kids!! I am saved from all the trouble of dieting, of buying Herbalife, of wearing a corset. Osim Uzap and slimming programme salesperson dares not approach, even when one does, I just look at her in the eye like a ‘ what are you kidding me?!” I love buffets and no matter how much food I stuffed myself, the bodysuit I was wearing would never be bulging!

But what I love most about being thin is, I get to motivate myself so effectively!

Just look at it this way -

Sometimes in life people will make you sad, treat you bad and with disrespect, let God deal with the things they do, and just remember THEY ARE FAT NOT LIKE YOU!

Weeee!

a. Breastfed baby’s poop are cute, solid-fed baby’s poop are gross.

b. Everyone has an opinion, only mine matters.

c. Feeding baby is Mummy’s job, wiping baby butt is Daddy’s job

d. Geniuses are freak! Normal is awesome!

e. I love my husband and I married him. Then I have a baby and I realize that I’d throw my husband myself under a bus to save my him. I can’t love something more than I love my baby.

Luth Mikael, 5 months with attitude

I’d say The Dark Knight tops all others in its genre, or in other words - the latest Batman movie makes Spiderman and pretty boy Clark Kent looks puny. An exhilarating movie indeed! Two thumbs up not only to Batman ( Christian Bale) but to Joker (Heath Ledger) for making it the best movie this season. Ten stars for The Dark Night! Weeee!

Now, okay! I admit… It’ s Azman! He kinda TOLD me to give his favourite movie ten stars.

Here is what I really think.

Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece, beautifully crafted with hatred, sadism, spitefulness and death is interlaced with the annoying distraction of the NON-EXISTANCE OF TRACES OF BOTOX ON RACHEL DAWES’ FACE! I cannot take it! I understand that Katie Holmes got hitched but why the lookalike? And mind you Maggie Gyllenhaal is no Katie Holmes lookalike but a droopy version of the hot momma. I cannot stand the urge to vomit blood at every scene Rachel Dawes buat comel-comel flirts with boyfriend District Attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart). Yuck. Yes, she is that disturbing!

So Gyllenhaal has Golden Globe nominations and a much better actress but a face lift is important too! She is one of the few female characters in the movie, so for goodness sake please get someone in the league with Michelle Pfeiffer and Nicole Kidman will ya? What is this movie? A battle of ugly faces? Joker (ugly on the surface but hotsy Ledger underneath, peace be upon you!), then the cleft-chinned attorney that later on turned ugly and guess why he refused plastic surgery and wanted to remain ugly?- the ugly girlfriend Rachel Dawes. Vomit blood.

Harvey Dent was a charismatic, gallant character in The dark Knight, in fact I like him almost throughout the movie, up until he got psychotic, killing innocent people even putting a gun to a child’s head just for the sake of revenge for the ugly girlfriend. Just what happen to the crusading heroism? Gone with the death of the ugly Batman’s old flame, I guess.

Why so serious? Let me give you a free face lift…

You see, if somebody else played Rachel Dawes, I would have liked Dent/Two-Face up till the end. And it would not occurred to me that his habit of tossing the coin every 5 seconds is another annoyance and a hilarious resemblance to Sarjan from Ali Baba Bujang Lapok “ Yaaaa…. mari kita lihat siapa yang kenaaaaaaaa!”

Another distraction that’s tad irritating just like Batman’s gruff voice is Nicky Katt playing the Mayor- totally wrong choice of casting. That dude looked like he belongs to The Nanny! As Nanny Fine’s cousin from Israel.

Nothing much I can say about Christian Bale but he played his role well. Outshined by Joker but still he is now the best Batman. Dare you not agree?

The exceptional performance of Ledger’s Joker, which was nothing comical but precisely in-control madness combined with perfect body language and voice and that snake-like thing he liked to do with his tongue- you just can’t get your eyes off the Joker! But I must say the true hero of the movie is Christopher Nolan himself. It is a well written movie, a must watch, even almost a must-watch-again movie only if Maggie Gyllenhaal had gotten a couple of Botox. Sigh.

Hey, lets vote!

I ordered the Sausage McMuffin breakfast meal, that comes with a hash brown and coffee. It was 8 in morning and customers was flowing in but for some annoying reason there wasn’t any food that’s available immediately other than coffee.

The cashier asked me to take a seat and he would call me once my order is ready. I thought this was a fast food outlet? You see, waiting and fast, they just don’t go together. Anyhow, it was early in the morning and my patience battery was still fully charged.

So I waited.

And I read that stupid magazine with some yellow haired Chinese surfer dude on the cover.

Minutes later I looked up and everyone around me was munching on something. They came in after me! Patience battery goes down to 50%.

I walked to the counter and asked about my already-paid-for food. One chubby girl answered that my sausage is not ready yet and what’s everybody else was eating was McEgg that takes a really short time to make. I should say something to her but then again its against my rule to start a drama early in the morning.

I sat down again until they told me that my order was ready; looking at the time that was getting late, I grabbed my breakfast and rushed to the office.

With my tummy growling, I sat down in front of my notebook, grab my McDonalds Sausage McMuffin and I found this!!!! This!

This!

This is not food! This is charcoal! Carbon! Black as night!

I almost screamed with anger! I was hungry, and I waited so long for the food and this was what I got? Who was that bloody idiot McDonalds hired behind the grill? Would you let me stuff this burnt sandwich in his mouth,please! What happened to quality control? If its black as your black-black heart, JUST THROW IT AWAY!!! Nobody can eat this!!

I ached so badly to drive back from Putrajaya to Bandar Baru Bangi so that I can throw this ridiculous black piece of junk on the store manager’s face and I was so sorry the work at the office that was piling up didn’t permit me to do so.

BUT McDONALDS OWES ME A BIG APOLOGY!

McDonalds Bandar Baru Bangi especially, they are often really slow but burnt food? I cannot forgive that! No way!

So you guys reading this, when buying take out from McD Bandar Baru Bangi, take a peek of your food before leaving or better still don’t go there at all. Save you from lots of annoyance and money.

From the day he acquired that genius plan up until last week, Miki would wake up from sleep at three in the morning and start kicking me or his father on the face. He did that while giggling happily, I bet he was all WAKE UP YOU GUYS! ITS THREE, ITS TIME TO PLAAAAYYYYY!!

After a few minutes if we keep on sleeping and ignoring him, his loud wailing sirens would go off, so we had no choice but to wake up and play peekaboo and read books and sing songs with our eyes half open.

Notice I used half open instead of half closed? Oh, I am such an optimistic. P.S - If you dare talk about a second child, Azman, I will kill you!

Anyway, Miki has gotten his normal sleeping pattern again but he is getting more active than ever; resulting minimal weight gain for himself and maximum weight loss for his mum.

Here is the video of our precious jewel kicking one of his favourite toys, the Fisher Price Kick and Whirl Carnival. See how he aims his little feet on the white panel before launching a series of Muay Thai kicks to the whirling toy?! Thats exactly how he aims and kick my dongga head every night.

So I rushed to the shower and got myself ready in a jiffy. Miki was fast asleep on the bed looking like a peaceful little angel amidst his soft warm blankets. It broke my heart just thinking about waking him up and sending him to the babysitter, so I thought I would just let him sleep a few minutes more.

I rushed to the kitchen to pack Miki’s milk and lunch. Luckily Azman had followed me to help out, so I thought I have the time to change the baby and perhaps cuddle him for a minute, to get him through till evening when we came back from work.

As I step out of the kitchen, I saw A MAN IN OUR LIVING ROOM!

Clad in dark pants, olive green jacket and dark motorcycle helmet, he was running out of the front door with my hand bag in his hand. Adrenaline rushed in my system giving a feeling that I cannot describe. I am tall and quick, I could have pounced and grab his collar but the thief satan was big and I was not stupid. He might be armed or at least he could easily smash my face broken.

Engulfed with panic I screamed Pencuri! Pencuri! Pencuri! till Azman came running from the kitchen but the thief was already speeding away on his bike. There was no way we could get him now.

My immediate reaction was to call the banks to cancel my atm and credit cards. I did that while screaming at Azman with anger and frustration for opening the gate and front door before we were really ready to go out. It was very heart breaking for me…

I came to my senses later when a neighbour heard the commotion and came to our door. Apparently the thief had been loitering in front of her house with his helmet on and when her husband came out suspiciously he calmly walked to his bike and drove away….away to my house, I guess, and walked in happily as we were spending just 2 SHORT MINUTES IN THE KITCHEN PACKING BOTTLES!

The satan sure had the guts!

I was sorry for blaming Azman, he was going to be late and opening a door was completely harmless, who would have known a satan was hanging out on the street lurking around to grab a valuable or two. Besides the door was not wide open, our door was a sliding door and only the bars is open, the glass panel and curtain was closed. The satan was a lucky bastard.

I am indeed very sad. I lost a lot of things.

Thats a new Braun Buffel that Azman bought for me. Inside there was my Liz Clairborne wallet, my office access card, a copy of Azman’s car key and other things like my makeup and accessories. There was also my precious SONY Cybershot camera with its new leather pouch! Inside my wallet there was about rm250-rm300 worth of cash, my MyCard and driving license, Miki’s MyKid, two credit cards, two atm cards, one Azman’s debit card that he let me use for petrol, precious pictures of my Azman, my niece and nephew and my mom, store and membership cards, important receipts and documents.

I spent the whole day at the Police Station, JPJ and banks. I hate it so much.

I am so sorry for Miki, we had lost his MyKid after 5 months only. Mykids are not replaceable; he will only get his MyCard once he turns twelve. However I am thankful to God for at that Miki was asleep in the bedroom instead of sitting in his Ferrari in front of the TV. I just couldn’t imagine what the situation would be if the Satan saw Miki. What if he put a knife to my baby and demands more money? What if he ran away with him? What if? What if?

The policeman said that satans like that are usually extraordinarily bold for they are under the influence of drugs. I am feeling very sad and I am blaming the world, seriously. As the petrol price hiked crime rates will increase, I don’t trust the cops either; they can’t solve Nurin Jazlin’s case I bet they won’t do anything about small cases like mine or try to cut down the spreading drug addiction among youth and Mat Rempiks.

I hate the Mat Rempiks even more so now. When I see a Mat Rempik reported dead in a road accident, and when I read about a thief beaten to a pulp by civilians before handed to the cops, my honest reaction was no longer sympathy but satisfied SERVES YOU RIGHT!! Thats what I hate the most about it.

The sale started at 9.30 until 10.30am and everything was sold at very cheap price with discount range from 50% ~ 98%.

Diyana wanted the 40” Bravia LCD TV, so she woke up early that Saturday morning. She said we must arrive at The Curve as early as 8am because people would be queuing and there would be a massive rush at the outlet. She was worrying if we would miss the LCD TV because only Sony staff can enter the outlet and she’s not. So, she kept on giving me tips on how to be successful in SALE!.

To be honest I didn’t believe that it was going to be that difficult in getting the stuff I wanted in a SALE and I didnt believe that people would be queuing outside the outlet too, so I ignored all her tips so when we arrived at 9.15am - more than a hundred people had already started queuing in front of me! I could see Diyana was glaring at me with her angry face….

Finally I managed to get a Home Theater System, a marine pack for my camera and also a Cybershot leather carrying case. The actual cost for all those 3 stuffs was RM 3,578 but it cost me only RM 1, 060! The highest discount is 98% for the marine pack. Cool!

That was good enough for me but not for Diyana. She still believed that if I had followed her advice, like arriving very early; grab first all the goodies and think later etc….I could have gotten the Bravia LCD TV as well. Emmm..… maybe she was right on that. After all I cant deny that shopping is one of her useless talents.

I may be bad but my colleague was more of a complete failure after ignoring an important skill that was born naturally inside the mind of all women. He came from Seremban and arrive The Curve at 9am. Since he felt that it’s still early, he hang out and read newspapers in his car until 9.30am so he ended up empty handed!! haha!

So now that we have a new home theater system, I would like to let go my 1 year old i-totalTHEATRE, ITT100. If you are interested, you can contact us and give us your best offer. The price of new set is RM 1,299. All the sub-woofer, 4 satellite speakers, 1 center speaker and tuner FM/AM band still working perfectly well.