I find I’m so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it is the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

I love that string of words. Sometimes it runs through my head, unexpected, when I need it to. I revel in the repetition of it. So simple. Full of conviction.

Hope is an art.

Sometimes, from nothing, the act of conjuring the sparks of dreams and nurturing the fragile enchantment of blind optimism – even in the face of darkness – is a creative endeavor. I strive to perfect this art. I will always.

Ezra & Ella

From a recent project with Neil is this quiet hero, Ezra, who embarks on an unexpected journey. I have hope for it.

Sometimes it’s so slow. Exhausting. You want to resist it. But you can’t because there’s something about the idea and you won’t let go. Compulsion. Obsession, even. Edits become hours and days and years. Like four years. Like tens of thousands of words chopped and then rewritten. And then again. Finally too dusty, damaged, deformed. So you left it all in a disgusted sigh in the hat box you bought after you printed out the very first draft. Even the hat box won’t close now, warped with all that’s happened over the last years. You’ve even bruised your leg on it. Tripped over it. But you refused to throw it away.

Sometimes it’s impulsive. Sharp and toxic. Shards of bitter, stinging, ugly. The words must be floating nearby. You’ve always told yourself that. There are infinite words to grab. At your disposal. INFINITE. Alas, they eluded your grasp – taunting and spiteful – and when you finally reached the end of that thin line of sanity the laptop slammed shut so hard that the cold coffee (mostly untouched because it was the morning’s fifth) bled out onto the steel table. And then, ashamed, those words were hidden. Buried in the unnamed folder with draft emails you never sent and that photo on the beach you always hated.

But sometimes…

Out of the blue. Beautiful.

Something unexpected.

New collaboration. Ideas.

New platforms.

New brains & heart.

Brilliance and sparks.

Suddenly it’s fresh and exciting and something works that never ever did before. And then you feel so very grateful for the death. Because without it, this new thing could not have been born at all.

It is my experience that the best creations come from collaboration. And when really good collaboration happens, sometimes things get messy. Despite my love of more technical solutions, sometimes it’s best just to dig in the dirt… messy whiteboards for concept brainstorms, a messy desk cluttered with post-it notes. And here, even my kitchen table is quite a disaster – an ode to a first-ever attempt at a picture book dummy with the illustrator.

We literally took concept drawings, words, and then used scissors and tape (plus quite a lot of coffee) to try and get things just right.

explorers...

a rare purple bee...

And the beautiful mess isn’t limited to the physical. There’s an enormous challenge in negotiating which words get hacked, which illustrations get embellished, what’s the best order and placement for pacing… all of it simply trying to create the very best user experience. A picture book has many eyes to get through even before it can ever hope to find its way in front of a child.

I’ll let you know how this particular mess looks later on. We hope to submit this work sometime in the New Year.

Below is a first pass at color palette on some characters Neil and I have just started concepting as we embark on the beginning of what we hope to be our very first graphic novel…

Can’t say much yet – Can you guess which character is the vegan? Who’s the con artist?

• I am not naturally a runner. (Like I’d hoped.)
• I am slowing getting better. (I don’t have to run in the dark of the morning anymore for fear of ridicule.)
• I will continue until I can do 5 km and not want to die.

There are really, really great Apps for this kind of self torture. I like the Nike one – with limited functions (I still don’t get how anyone would want to “publish results to Facebook and Twitter”) plus I can run it with two other Apps I like (I know. nerd-o-rama).

But the COOLEST thing about learning to run is that I’m going to one day be able to do a triathlon with my offspring. Both of them are triathletes. My oldest since he was five. And my youngest did his first one last year and was a bit hooked after he felt the shiny medal around his neck.

They inspire me.

The other one, perhaps not SOOO educational, but absolutely hilarious: Dav Pilkey’s The Adventures of Ook and Gluk – Cave Men From the Future.

It’s important to be diverse with your lit… don’t you think?

I’ve been reading some of the psychological side effects of clutter – Psychology Today says it’s hard on the brain. So it’s especially important to clear out your space if there are kids around. For me, it’s enough of a challenge to maintain positive order and focus on life’s good stuff if the path is clear…

This weekend we re-scrubbed the house, organized all the Lego, got things set up for less-stress winter gear, and then there was time for the good stuff & fun one gets to have when it all feels simple again.

Speaking of good stuff:

the gingerbread lattes this season are especially decadent…

a fun little app called Cut the Rope…

long lashes for Christmas Party glam…

a sister who helps shop for new jeans (thanks, my fabulous sister)…

and most importantly, an enchanted hearts-in-morning-coffee collection continues…

and the seasons move and Halloween turns to walks with beautiful leaves (and hilarious dogs that carry sticks far too big for their bodies)…

and soon there will be Candy Cane martinis, sledding, Christmas lights. And with any luck a writing project I’m really excited about will be sent along…

black keys. live in concert. orpheum on granville. oh, yeah.

old friends.

strolling… strolling… magic sunshine.ocean.steaming clam chowder.romantic “best table in the city” complete with hundreds of candles.city lights.sushi.martinis (with queen olives of course).holding hands.crunching leaves.exploring.laughing.sleeping in.

new friends.

good food. (like really, really good food.)

being bumped up to a premiere ocean-front suite with THREE balconies?! Seriously never seen a room like this. Seriously felt like a queen.

1. Sand & Such

Check out the most beautiful sand-castle of the year (so far):

2. Hilarity

Child’s teary bedtime confession: “And then I called him a P.R.O.”

Me: “Pro?”

Child: “Yes. And if you don’t know what it means, you don’t WANT to.”

Me. “I actually do.”

Child. “You know. The worst swear. I called him a Pregnant Retarded Ostrich.”

Me: [hysterical laughter. the kind you cannot stop.]

3. Gold Medals

Congratulations to another child – the one who swims 5 days per week – the one who has required thousands of trips to and from chlorinated pools of water for years and years. For he has captured 2 gold provincial medals (and 2 silvers and a bronze) for swimming this weekend!! (insert proud beaming mama here).

… and they say, “Mama, we want another baby. We will name him Chris and we won’t care when he pukes.”