Let's Talk,....

Octo,....mom?

2009-02-10T07:02:00.000-08:00

Who would've thought it could be possible,....8 babies at once! Is she crazy? Lets not even mention the others which make a total of 14 kIDS, of those 8 newborns,.....how is she going to do it. I have one and it's a handful. To add on top of that she's single,...and doesn't work because apparently she's disabled. Okay how would they even allow this? I mean it's one thing for Angelina and Brad to have lots of babies,...THEY HAVE THE MEANS TO SUPPORT THEM....but this poor gal and her mother. I mean I seriously don't know what to say. I think she was being selfish and only thought of herself,..what she wanted when she was a child A BIG FAMILY. I personally think she made a stupid choice; 14 is too much to handle.

I ask myself how she sleeps........

Ideas for Valentine's Day

2009-02-09T16:51:00.000-08:00

I know I know,..another V day is here and what will you do? Roses and chocolates again? Try something different. I've managed to write some of my personal favorite things I've done and will do and as always I wanted to share it with you.......

1. Write love quotes, or a poem in a frame or a card;

2. Make a CD of all your romantic songs (songs that have a meaning for both of you);

3. Make a picnic to your favorite spot;

4. Make a collage of the two of you with a verse from "your" song in the middle;

5. Make a list of all the things you love about your partner;

6. Send messages to your lovey dovey all day long (naughty and ncie);

7. Make valentine a “whole year” event,….send nice little notes to your partner every single day for a whole year. Surely you’ll get extra points….;

8. Paint a box or a jar and fill with little love notes, poems, or reasons why u love your partner, so whenever he or she is down they pop open the jar and reach in for a little boost. Or you can fill a container with your love's favorite candy (ie: The charms form Lucky Charms, red M&M's, pink Starbursts,..etc.);

9. Make a little coupon book (which contains coupons your Honey can redeem at any time; you can include anything from foot rub, car wash, facial, manicure, hang with the boys/gals, free day and naughty things—let your imagination run wild-be creative);
10. Breakfast in bed;

11. Make a bath for your loved one with bath salts and scented oils, topped with rose petals and place those small white candles for the scented oils everywhere is the bathroom;
12. Call local radio and dedicate a song for your gal/guy;

13. Organize a treasure hunt with arrows and clues to reach the final prize (YOU) in the bed/bath WAITING….;

14. Place rose petals from the door to the bed and write I LOVE YOU with chocolate kisses and decorate with rose petals, place some candles on the floor to add the perfect romantic lighting (but don't put the candles in the way of your path.......I was so in the mood I got burned,...lol)

Regardless of what you do just have fun doing it.....

AROD Haters.....

2009-02-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

I'm a true Alex Rodriguez fan. I mean ever since he was drafted I've been following him in his career and hoping that he'd turn into the great athlete that he is today. I knew he was going to be BIG! Aside from the fact that he is soooooo good-looking, you have to admit he is a great baseball player. I mean hello, isn't his contract proof of that. What I don't get is why people hate him so much? I mean you don't see none of this hatred towards Barry Bonds or Mark Maguire or even Sammy Sosa. Why are people always pointing fingers at him? When he chose to play for the US in the World Classic last year (i think) the Dominican population tore him apart saying he wasn't a true Dominican, and they even said that AROD said he wasn't Dominican. Well HE truly isn't; his parent's are. Now the Dominicans are more accepting of him because this year he will be wearing a Dominican uniform in the World Classic. Regardless of what he wears I will be supporting him. US or not I'm there for you Alex......forget about what all these people say, they're just jealous you're living better than them! You make a great living by playing a great sport,..one I'm sure you love.......

Only friends? Is it possible?

2009-02-07T18:18:00.000-08:00

Many people thing that having a male friend is a big no-no being that I'm a married woman. But I think that having male friends can actually help me keep my sanity as long as I maintain certain boundaries. There are times when my head as a woman starts to go crazy and think all kinds of things, (ie: a jealous rage) and thanks to my guy friend I'm able to rethink the situation and realize that I'm not seeing another point-of-view. There are times when us, women, see things differently than what they really are. So my guy friends help me out whenever I have certain doubts or insecurities regarding my relationship and other aspects of my life. My friends respect me and my husband. But more importantly I respect my husband and myself.

There are certain things that I don't find appropriate. For instance, drinking with my male buddy ALONE; being ALONE for a long time; going out at night ALONE. It's not that I don't trust him or me, it's simply that being alone with a person from the opposite sex and putting yourself in certain positions can "tempt" you into doing something more. You may get an "urge" and it can go further than intended.

So just keep it simple........and everything will be fine!

Not during sex,.....:(

2009-02-01T13:47:00.001-08:00

Does this happen only to me or to anyone else. Do you have that one family member that is not bad but you kind of like and don't like at the same time? I mean this person calls at all the wrong moments, wants to come over when I really don't feel like having any visitors? And the sad thing is it's not on purpose....it just happens,...AT THE WRONG TIME! Perfect example,..today I was,...um,....you know "taking care of my business with my hubby",...and right smack in the middle the phone rings,.....the phone hasn't rang alllll day but right in the middle of our business that damn thing rings. Meanwhile I'm trying to concentrate and hurry up so that it doesn't go to my answering machine. So right when it's being answered by the machine I pick up and try to sound calm and I say "hello",....well let's just say my aunt didn't recognize me,...lol...she kept saying what's wrong I didn't recognize you and I'm like "oh how odd I have no idea why..."....and my husband yelling in the background "oh she was only getting it on,...jesus".....jajajaja no but seriously. Wrong time to call,......lol

Want more traffic to your site....FREE

2009-01-31T04:53:00.000-08:00

Yea right,...I don't believe in free.......I mean are we in the position to be giving out free stuff? Have you read the news about our economy? But seriously I came across this website while browsing through some blogs at momblogs.com. And being that I'm not greedy I wanted to share it with you. The instructions are simple so give it a try. I mean they guarantee traffic to your site if you subscribe. What do you have to lose.

You can click on the link below......I wish you success!

Simply Thanks.......

2009-01-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

I was reading the news and and came across an article on a Brazilian Model whose hands and feet were amputated; she died today. Apparently the poor girl was diagnosed with UTI and kidney stones. The infection spread to her body and her limbs weren't receiving enough oxygen. The infection spread to her body and the antibiotics weren't doing her any good. Mind you she was hospitalized early this month. It's crazy that one minute you're doing fine and the next you could find yourself in a life threatening situation. I feel bad for her family. A few months ago I had to hospitalize my baby (less than a year old) because he has a throat infection and it was beginning to spread to his body. Thankfully, we caught it in time and the antibiotics worked; 5 days later he was released from the hospital.

So I want to take this time to say Thanks for all my friends and family that had my baby and our family in their prayers and for God granting our wishes. Thank you God for watching over my baby!

Be the bully or be bullied!

2009-01-24T07:48:00.000-08:00

The other day while I was playing with my son I noticed he had a bruise on his forearm. It looked like a small circle, almost like a small bite mark. He doesn’t have any friends yet and he doesn’t see his cousins on a regular basis. So my first thought was he bit himself. But after looking at it cautiously I noticed that the bite mark was made from another small child (the bruise was on the outside of his forearm.) Although I didn’t see anyone bite him, I have a hunch on who it was and I’m almost sure it was one of his cousins. On Christmas day he was receiving gifts from my family and one particular cousin wanted to use his gifts. So I say “share your toys; lend it to her we’ll play with it later” (mind you, my son is 1 year and 1 month old he doesn’t understand this concept but I’m trying to teach him the concept). So I tell his cousin, “ok, he lent you his toy but lend him yours” and she snatched her toy away. Her mother obviously yells at her and tells her to share but the little girl has such an attitude she doesn’t listen. I’m guessing the sometime during the day she bit him, possibly because of a toy. Now I’m not saying it’s what happened but I’m almost sure of it!

Now, what is a parent supposed to teach their children. I mean I don’t want my son to be a bully but I certainly don’t want him to get bit and get bullied! I’ve never fought and never instigated anyone. But if I ever get hit you can be sure I’m not going to get hit again! For those parents who have experience in this, I would like to hear your opinion!

Do I look,......old?

2009-01-19T15:45:00.000-08:00

I would love to hear what you guys and gals have to say about this. My hubby turned 33 recently and he’s always been pretty active. I mean name a sport or activity and he’s probably done it. Surfing, snowboarding, baseball, tennis, golf,….you name it. He loves to be active. However, it’s hard for him to accept that his body 20 years ago isn’t the same as now. About a year ago he had a bad motorcycle accident when I was pregnant. He fractured his thyroid cartilage (his throat area) and let’s just say that many people have died with injuries less than what he had….so like the doc said he’s alive for a reason. When this happened I spoke to him and convinced him that for our child’s sake that he needs to act more his age; So we sold all the motorcycles we had. He recently made new friends, whom I might add are much younger than he is so they have a lot of energy and they tolerate more than my husband does. The other day after he came home from playing golf with his new friends, he wanted to go body boarding with them. The younger guys caught almost all the waves and didn’t think twice about swimming back and forth. My poor husband caught like 3 waves took a break and wend back in, caught 2 more waves and decided to call it a day. His friends kept calling him “grandpa’”. My husband is not that much older than they are but they just wanted to mess with him. On the way home he kept telling me, “I’m getting old. Do I look old? My body isn’t the same as it used to”. Being the great wife that I am I lifted my hubby’s spirit and said “Men are like a great wine,……the older they get the better they are”. Let’s just say he had a smile the rest of the way home!

Back to blogging!

2009-01-19T15:44:00.000-08:00

Hey ya’ll,…..I’m back,……you could say I was taking a little holiday break,….but I just took down the Christmas tree, so that means the holidays are over,……it was kind of funny because I put the tree up in October before Halloween,..and yes it was artificial,..can you imagine,…..the only things that would’ve been left by now are the branches and the trunk. So my holidays began back in October,..looooong Christmas…… Anyways, A few weeks ago I thought I was pregnant,…..I thought “CRAP!”,….I mean I want another baby but just not right now,…..imagine almost 3 months without my period. I mean all the home tests came out negative and I didn’t have any symptoms, but I was still taking a crap. Now everything’s back to normal, so hopefully no more surprises.

So I just hope you all had a great time and I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Virtual Affair,.....

2008-11-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

I keep bringing this up about this "Virtual" life issue because it just seems so interesting to me. I mean how do you weigh or judge people's actions in this game? Should you make them pay for it in "Real" life? After browsing through the news,....(as I always do) I come across a woman who is divorcing her husband because he walked in on him having "virtual sex" with another virtual player. I mean "virtual infidelity"......so yea technically the person really didn't do it, but their "persona" did. I mean it can go either ways: either they play and do things they wouldn't normally do in real life (like getting a BJ by a virtual hooker) or just do it because it's what they do and would've done......how exactly can you tell what kind of person they are.....because if in the game they are labeled as "single" when in reality he is "married" well then technically he didn't cheat because he isn't "virtually married"......where do you draw the line and call it quits on a relationship? This is hard,....I try to place myself in other's shoes and honestly I don't know what I would do,....because in the end it's a game,.......or is it not?

Obama for your mama!

2008-11-13T16:27:00.000-08:00

Finally! I'm so glad that Obama won,....I mean first I thought Hilary was going to win, but after she lost I knew for sure that Obama was going to win,..well that is if there was no cheating,........everyone is ready for a change,...now I can't wait until he officially is our President! I'm so glad to have been alive to witness this event that has made history!

Let the good times roll!

Just some random thoughts!

Such a pussy....

2008-10-30T18:40:00.001-07:00

I have mixed feeling about Halloween,...I love the part of dressing up, trick-or-treating and waiting for trick-or treaters to ring my door bell while I look at all types of different costumes. All this I love! I hate however, that all the channels have scary movies. I'm a wuss for horror flicks. I mean I don't see them,....EVER! My best friend knows how I feel about scary movies so she LOVES seeing a horror flick with me,....I remember the last time she tricked me into seeing one of those movies. It was Hostel. I thought that it was hostile and she told me it was an action/drama. She didn't tell me that what I would be seeing would freak me out and scare the shit out of me! Let's just say I barely saw or heard anything (I had my eyes semi-closed and ears topped so that I wouldn't be frightened). What a wuss I know,..such a party pooper,...I was sleeping alone that night. I remember also my husband rented The Village and I did the same thing,...the funny thing was that at the end I was like,...what? That's what I was scared of?

Oh well I guess I'll wait for tomorrow and watch the weather channel or something like that,.....for now I'm going to get ready for a fun day tomorrow,.....

Costume?

2008-10-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

This year has gone by super fast,...I mean it's already Halloween,....and I already have all my Christmas decorations up! Yea I decided to start super early this year because it's more the decorating than what it lasts. So back to tomorrow HALLOWEEN! I love it! I'm working on a homemade costume this year,..well actually for my son,.....I'll be myself,..that should cause a scare!,...lol....No I'll take a break this year,..last year I was a pregnant Medusa,......

So I've been cutting leaves, and rope to make my 11 month's Julius Caesar Costume. I'm still working on the sword.......That should be cute enough. Well it's that or Adam iun diapers without Eve,....and I'll paste a leaf in the front and a leaf in the back,....what I really wanted to do is dress him up as a chef,....can you imagine? He'll probably fit INSIDE the chef's hat,....

Happy Halloween,...let me get back to cutting and painting leaves!

I love Benjamins!

2008-10-27T18:15:00.001-07:00

Money,.......a word that causes so many emotions. Many people say money isn't everything but it sure as hell pays the bills (literally)....I think everyone right about now has some type of money issue. I mean damn,..it it doesn't seem like it's going to get any easier. Nothing is selling, people aren't spending.......it's sad. I wish it would grow on trees,......ohhhh how it would make things easier,.....except that maybe then people will try to steal your tree........

Just needed to get say what I was thinking,............

Virtual life?

2008-10-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

Ok here's another.......is anyone familiar with virtual life? Because I'm not.....well that's until I read a recent article about a girl and a guy who were "married" in a virtual life game. I didn't even know this existed.....I mean you must not be content with your life or have too much time in your hands to live 2 different lives. The article is quite interesting, apparently the guy "divorced" his virtual wife online without her knowing and she was so pissed off that somehow she got access to his log in information and "killed" his virtual person/profile. Funny huh?

Penis & Spit?

2008-10-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

I was recently reading blogs about things that children do and say and I have to share something with you all. When I found out I was pregnant last year almost my whole family joined me to the OB/GYN (I'm the first daughter, neice, and granddaughter). So when my 8 year old cousin also joined me I was curious to know whether she knew what an OB/GYN is. When I asked her she told me that she didn't know so I explained to her that he check vaginas and the female reproductive system (in simpler terms to make sure that a woman can have babies and that the baby is fine). I guess that got her thinking and when we got to the car she tells her mother something secretly and my aunt looks at me and whispers to me what she told her. My cousin asked her that if my husband had to show me his penis and spit at me to get pregnant. I was in shock!!!! What the hell,.....I mean what is she watching. My aunt is one of those people that finds it funny so she just smiled. I'm a little close to her now so everytime she opens her mouth to ask me something.....I dread those moments!

Don't weight.....

2008-10-19T19:02:00.000-07:00

Weight has always been an issue for me, even when I looked awesome there was always "a little bit more" that I wanted to lose. I'm not a petite girl so I always had to watch out for my weight because it seems even my bones are heavy! Thus, dieting has always existed in my life. After having my first baby it's become even a little more difficult to lose these extra pounds, but believe me they must be lost! My son is 11 months today and I'm still trying to lose the weight. You know what's funny? My sister says,.."You just had a baby!" I'm like "uh yea,....A YEAR AGO!"......So the saddest thing happened today,...I got on the scale (at the time of day I normally DON'T weight myself) and guess what happened? I gained a few lbs,......Jesus I have to start laying off the Cheetos.

The funny thing is that I was doing real good a few weeks ago. I took up tennis lessons and that really kicked up my weight loss....I felt great! But with all the bad weather lately my tennis lesson have been on hold. Do you know what it is to go from active to NON-active? It sucks! You feel less energetic and even lazy! I hate that feeling. The problem now is I have to get my will-power up and going. How else am I going to NOT eat the Cheetos in the pantry, cake in the fridge my hubby bought? To top it off say no to Carbs at night!

So I have to mentally prepare myself,...because if it's one thing I'm 100% sure of is this: If you're not mentally ready,...you're not ready! So I'm not waiting any longer and I'm going to get back on track! I want to feel sexy in my nightie without turning away from the mirror,........

Bootcamp Mom,...NOT!

2008-10-16T13:02:00.000-07:00

I’ve always been the one to be tough on the nieces and nephews and say “when I have my kids they’ll know better; they better not act like that…”……now that I’m a momma,….I see just how difficult it is to discipline these little angles. I mean I’m already at the phase where my son is going to think his name is No……I say it allllll day looong! Poor kid. But then he looks at me with this little pout and his little eyes and gives me a smile like saying “oh c’mon sucker fall for it like everyone else”,……….and then I can hear saying “works every time” and I snap out of it! Phew! Almost fell for it again! This parenting thing is harder than I thought. Mostly because I didn’t have the same love I have for the other kids like I have for my little one…….but you know what? This is just now,….wait until he starts doing stuff on purpose and knows he’s doing it on purpose. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Old at 26

2008-10-16T13:00:00.001-07:00

I feel so old and outdated. I realized this a few months ago when I had two teenage cousins visiting. They’re still in high school and know all the new street words, their meaning and have that texting lingo down packed. I guess when I graduated high school I kept using all my slang without considering that they change. How funny…..during their visit I was saying “oh that’s phat!” and they smiled looked at me and the outspoken one said “that’s old,….you don’t use that anymore”…OMG where have I been…how come I wasn’t informed? Where was the memo because I never received it. I swear there should be an organization in charge of making sure that people like me that are still cool and young enough to fit in and not considered “old” can keep up with the street slang. There should be a dictionary,…lol…..crazy how words that are “in” change without us even knowing….back to the regular usage of words,…or I’ll just create my own……..

Pick your sex......?

2008-10-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve always wanted 2 kids,….a boy and a girl, and the boy first…….and so far I had my first child a boy,….just as asked……but now I’m hoping that in a year or so I get pregnant again,..and I really hope it’s a girl. I mean gender has never been suuuper important but it would be awesome to get the experience of raising a boy and a girl.
People ask me if I want more kids and I say yes,…and I mention that I would like God to bless me with a little girl next. Among the many people who have asked this question was a cousin of mine whom owned a farm years ago and he told me something that may make sense. He said “we’re animals and we’re just like cows when it’s come to reproduction…..if you want a boy you wait for the full moon. If you want a girl you wait for the new moon.” He said he has 2 children a boy and a girl and he sad he “planned” both. Now I don’t know if this may be true because I don’t know the exact date that my baby boy was conceived. Is this possible? He told me that this was the method used by farmers in Dominican Republic to get more female cows conceived. I’ve heard other stories like, “want a boy? Have sex with your socks on.” Um,…yea and what scientific theory supports this?

Hold the veggies!

2008-10-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

I wish I was a vegetarian. I mean I’m not a real big meat eater….the only meat I eat is chicken, pork and fish. I really dislike the taste of red meat. But I really can’t become a vegetarian because I HATE VEGGIES! I swear I don’t know what people find in it other than vitamins and minerals. Most of it is nasty tasting. The sad part is that I want my kid to eat and like veggies. How am I supposed to do that if I barely do any veggies…..I mean I’ll have to throw away food. I have a salad and it HAS to have chicken and the salad means only lettuce for me. I wish I could find a way to eat veggies and that I would actually like it. At a restaurant,….I’m the one ordering a side of mash potatoes if the meal doesn’t come with potatoes. I tried eggplant in a reddish pizza like sauce with melted cheese on top TO DIE FOR,….but it gets me sick to my stomach,…..I still eat it once in a while because it’s so good it’s worth getting sick!
But there’s one thing I love,…CARBOHYDRATES!!! OMG I love them all,…you name it,…bread, crackers, oatmeal, rice, pasta,…….I can eat that for the rest of my life,…that’s the reason why I have “more to love”……

So any food lovers out there, if you have a tasty veggie dinner or recipe that you’d like to share please do,……I’ll try it and I’ll be honest and give you my thought from a veggie hater point of view and believe me I’ll be honest…..

Mayo Jar & 2 Beers,...Thanks Nana Net

2008-10-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

While browsing through different blogs I ran into something I really liked and wanted to share. So here you go,..thanks Nana Net for allowing me to share it further along! You can check out more of her stuff at: http://wwwawbfam.blogspot.com/

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there IS no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.'

Baby or the house? You choose!

2008-10-12T20:14:00.001-07:00

Do you want to know something funny? Ever read those articles that say how much it costs to have and maintain a baby until the age of 18? Well if I remember correctly I believe it costs about US$290,000 to have and maintain a child. Yes that would include basic necessities,…and no the latest sneakers, latest version of the iphone, or the wii aren’t necessities. That’s the cost of a house!!! And yet people last over 30 years to pay for their home. Do we spend money on unnecessary things? Ummmm…..yes!!! Do you know how nice it would be to not have to pay mortgage? What a load off my shoulders. But wait,..crap we still have to pay for property taxes. Heeeey,….it would be nice if people would be able to finance the costs of having a baby,……lol

Cheaters...be appreciative!

2008-10-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

Cheaters,….be appreciative!

I read an article in a Spanish magazine about a woman who was married and had 2 kids whose husband cheated on her. The story goes like this:
She noticed an odd behavior in her husband. He would lock himself in his office and listen to the same love song for hours. This happened for a while but she really got worried because he started to lose weight a lot of weight. So she decided to talk to her hubby. When she asked him what was wrong with him he told her that he’d fallen in love! The poor woman was in shock; she felt her whole life collapse right I front of her. I mean its one thing to cheat but it’s another to cheat and fall in love with that person. She didn’t know what to do. After giving it some thought she told him that she needed a break and was going to leave for a while. She left….FOR A WHOLE MONTH! During this time she left him with the kids and all the duties of caring for a household. She didn’t even call. Now the poor guy had to deal with everything and no help. Imagine, cook, clean, laundry, grocery shopping, pay bills, work, help the kids with their homework, care for the kids, drive them to school, etc. He was so occupied and busy the whole time that every time his new love called, he never had time for her. Within a few days the girl left him because he had neglected her. He was so busy that it ended his relationship. A few weeks later the wife returned without calling or giving any heads up. She just showed up. She thought she was going to find everything a mess but she was surprised to find everything clean and in order.
To make a long story short: The husband realized that what his wife was worth and just how much it takes to keep and maintain a home. He was more in love with her than ever and was willing to do whatever it took to have her forgive him and save their marriage. She, on the other hand, wanted out! She was tired of not being appreciated and realized that she deserved better. So ladies and gents think before you act because a foolish mistake can ruin it all. Be appreciative of your spouse……or you can learn the hard way!