I know I’m sounding a bit pessimistic. We able to build our own house, and I know that a lot of people don’t get a blessing like this. I am appreciative of the fact that we are able to save money while we wait for our home to be built. And living with my parents truly hasn’t been all that terrible.

It’s just that I’m ready to have a routine again. I’m ready to sleep in our own bed. I’m ready to decorate a home again and feel like I’m a home maker.

I also can’t wait to decorate a nursery for Caleb again, to feel involved in our new community, and be closer to church!

Great things are coming….

Guess it’s just time to work on some patience.

Have you ever felt stuck before? Some tips on getting through it would be appreciated.

It has been so incredible to watch Caleb as he has grown. Each moment is greater than the last and he becomes more and more fun. It’s amazing to watch him become his own person with his own little personality.

If I were gonna use one word to describe Caleb right now it would be spunky. The kid has got energy. He’s not really sure what it means to sit still. He loves to crawl, stand, and play play play. He can stand on his own but he doesn’t seem to want to try walking yet.

He has two teeth and he cut them at the same time. He wears mostly 12 month old shirts/onesies but still fits into 9 month pants and sleepers. He gives kisses upon request, waves bye bye and claps for himself when we say, “Good job!” A-DORABLE.

We are so, so blessed to have him in our lives.

His name is Boomer. One day I put him down for a nap and he wasn’t pleased with me. So I grabbed Boomer and gave it him. He played with his ears until he went to sleep.

Then we walked into this:

I almost passed out from the cuteness.

They were besties from then on. He would come with us to different places and Caleb was always playing with his ears.

And then there was a tragic day. We went to the OKC Underground as a family (that will be in another post). When we were done and back in the car, we noticed that Boomer was gone. Hubby went running back into The Underground and searched the entire place…no luck.

What kind of parent loses their child’s favorite toy?!?

Me. Boo.

We have searched everywhere and cannot find another one! We have supplemented with a soft Pooh Bear, but you can tell that he’s just an acquaintance, not a bestie.

What did you do when you lost your child’s favorite toy?

I ran in my first 5K ever a couple of weeks ago. I remember saying during my college soccer days that I would NEVER pay to run…but here I am now!

I decided that if I am going to run in 5k’s that they better be fuunnnnn.

One of the first things that’s fun is we ran the 5k in Tulsa, so it was nice to go back since we have moved recently from Tulsa.

We got to stay downtown in a hotel, which was extra fun because it was where I used to work. We ate at two of my favorite restaurants downtown and I delighted in their deliciousness.

There were a TON of people there. Whoa.

I ran with my sister-in-law and my friend, Karla. We were supposed to have another friend running with us, but we couldn’t find her and with a ton of people there, there was almost no cell phone service.

Here we are pre-race:

We are all nice and clean. Basically, you run through the race and there are checkpoints where they throw color on you. So you end up being prettttty messy. We have matching Dark Mark Tattoos because our team’s name was The Death Eaters. We got our Dark Marks from CustomCuriosities. The shop owner was prompt in sending them, easy to contact, and super professional. They held up remarkably well and we were psyched to wear them!

Here they are close up. I may or may not have yelled, “MORSEMORDE!” multiple times after receiving them.

And here we are after the race!

We weren’t nearly as covered as we figured we would be, after looking at all the pictures on their website. Though the color distributors are really respectful and try not to fit you in your face.

We had a TON of fun. I really feel like it was my starting point in my journey back to fitness after having Caleb. I’ve been working out regularly since, so far so good!

Have you ran a 5K before? Check out the Color Run and see if it is coming to your city!

My goal is to make encouraging others a natural habit of mine, so I thought that this would be a good way to make sure that I am taking the time to encourage people.

Sometimes this will be about bloggy friends, and sometimes this will be about real friends.

Today is about one of the best friends in existence.

My grandma.

I titled this post “The Words I’ll Never Say” because how do you express how much someone means to your properly? How do you properly thank somebody for the love and support they have given you all your life?

She is the most fun-loving and kind person I know. I never hear her speak against someone. I never hear her mutter unkind words.

She was absolutely thrilled when I announced that we were pregnant. She always says, “He is just so handsome,” when she talks about Caleb.

She is always encouraging and always makes sure that I know how much she loves me.

I do, grandma, I do.

You have been to countless soccer games. You have come to stay with me billions of times when my parents went out of town. You would let me wash your dishes while saying, “Hurry up, Cinderella!” so I could pretend to be her. You would make sure there was always a special treat for me in my special dresser drawer when I came to visit. You would clean my room when I’d go to school and then say, “The cleaning fairy did it.” when I tried to thank you. I know how much I’m loved by you.

She is one of the only people that I know that uses the word “rigamerole” and she has the saying, “that is rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.” She makes me laugh all the time.

She also suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease. She has the absolute right to wallow in self pity, but she doesn’t. She does what she has to do for treatment and doesn’t complain. She is so inspirational.

Grandma, if I could punch Alzheimer’s in the face, I would. I hate it. I hate that you have to go through this. I hate that this is your battle. I hate Alzheimer’s so, so much. But I admire your courage and strength. I admire your willingness to fight back. 

I admire you on so many levels. For the classy lady you are, for the kind of mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother you are. For the kind of person you are and the kind you make me want to be.

You are the best ever.

Who would you like to encourage today?

Probably one of my biggest issues with being encouraging is I’m nit-picky. In my mind I think things like, “Man, their house looks clean. Except for the dust on the counter….” etc. I struggle with adding a negative to a  positive, which completely negates my encouragement and deflates the other person. Or other times I will be thinking something really nice in my mind and then never think to tell the individual.

I have come up with this idea to train my brain into seeking positive things about others and trying to remember to pass those thoughts onto the individuals. I think that as a Christ-follower, it’s important to build up others instead of tearing them down. Sometimes this will be about blogger friends. Sometimes this will be about friend-friends.

Today it’s about a friend-friend.

My pal, KARLA! Or I prefer to call her Karlita. No idea why. I just like it and she let’s me. WIN.

Karla is a GREAT friend. We used to have offices right next to each other until she moved.  We would have dance parties and singfests. She and I have a mutual love for horrible 90′s pop music, and we had a lot of fun singing when no one else was around. I may or may not have had a cryfest on her last day of work.

She would let me convince her to forgo the lunch that she had and go out with me. She was super responsible and I could ask her who my 1:00 appointment was and she’d know. She is fun, sweet, and AWESOME.

She accepts me for my goofball-ness and will even embrace the crazy at times.

She moved over a year ago and we still talk a few times a week. She just got a new iPhone so we can FaceTime… whoo! But one of my favorite things about her is her servant’s heart. She is always willing to lend a hand to people. She spent her Memorial day weekend helping someone paint. Who does that? My friend Karlita does!

Karla, you’re the best and I’m so glad we are friends!

Linking up here:

Word-filled Wednesday

and

Welcome to the next post of marriage month!

This time I want to talk about communication. I discuss this issue ALL time time in therapy sessions. It is so difficult to communicate effectively when we each have different ways we communicate.

I’m not going to go into all the aspects of effective communication strategies, but I’m going to focus on communication within marriages. More specifically, how to express love well AND how to recognize when other people are expressing love to you.

One of the books that I suggest in sessions and one of the books that has helped me the most in my relationship is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

The book discusses how we have an emotional love tank. If we give and give love, our tank begins to empty. The hope is that as we give love, we get it back from our spouse. We should mutually fill each other’s tank.

The risk of this is that when our tank is full, it sure does feel nice. We can sit there, happy, with our full tank and not realize that our spouse’s tank is on E.

This isn’t always on purpose. It’s important to recognize when our spouse is showing love to us in their personal love language, because it’s the way that they feel loved best.

The 5 Love Languages:

1. Quality Time

This one is mine. Quality timers crave just that: quality time. Notice it’s not quantity time. Just because you’re sitting next to each other on the couch doesn’t mean that their tank is being filled. They want your attention. They want to know that you value them enough by investing in your time together. These people want meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and just doing life together.

2. Words of Affirmation

This one is Hubby’s. The other word that’s used for this language is encouragement. People with WOA as their love language crave encouragement. They need to know that you appreciate them  and they need you to verbalize that appreciation. Even something that you may consider to be a small statement like, “The house looks great. Thanks for cleaning up.” can be meaningful to them.

3. Receiving Gifts

A lot of people hate finding out that this is their love language because they think it means that they’re selfish. But these people are also givers because they show love best in this way. When RG’s receive a gift they cherish it. They can display it in their home and every time they look at it, it serves as a reminder to them that you love them.

4. Physical Touch

This one is pretty cut and dry, though don’t think that it means that they are only out for hanky panky. PT’s just want physical closeness. Holding hands, hugs, back massages are all things that make PT’s feel loved.

5. Acts of Service

The AOSers are pretty easy to spot once you know what you’re looking for. They are the ones that are busy in the house. They like to do chores for you. They like to be the ones to give you help.  Their actions are the way that they communicate love to you.

It is SO helpful to identify what love language your partner has because you can recognize when they are showing love to you and you can show love to them in their way. It takes some time to get used to remembering to love them in their love language, but the response you get in return is priceless.

What is your love language? I’d love to hear in the comments!

Let me start out with a little side story:

Hubby is not one to cry easily. I can count the time that he’s choked up almost on one hand (though Caleb’s presence has made him a bit more of a softie, which I have found to be adorable). One day in passing I mentioned, “Being married to you helps me understand God’s love for me better.” He stopped in his tracks and said, “Wow, that choked me up. That’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.”

And that is God’s hope for marriage.

Marriage was God’s Design

In Genesis, God noted that “it was not good for man to be alone,” so he created Eve. He understood that we need connection. He understood that men need a helpmate to encourage and enhance his life.

Marriage is a display of God’s love

God gives us marriage to help us understand His love for us. He loves us forever. He actively, continually pursues us. He loves us sacrificially. God will never, ever leave us.

Marriage is to be a reflection of God’s love for us. Your love for your spouse should help him/her better understand the love of Jesus and vise versa.

Marriage is a display of God’s grace

It is likely that you are most vulnerable with your spouse. They (hopefully) know all of your deep secrets and they accept you anyway. They forgive you when you sin against them and you can experience the freedom that you feel from God’s grace. God wants us to forgive our spouse as He has forgiven us.

Next time: How to communicate effectively

Let me start out by clarifying what I mean by the word “love.” It is not just a feeling, it is a commitment. It is a daily commitment to choose love- to choose love when anger is consuming; to choose love when it’s easier to leave; to choose love when you’re hurt. Love has a much deeper meaning than we give it, and we throw the word “love” around so much that it can lose it’s meaning.

Here are tips that have worked so far in my marriage:

-Be best friends.

Talk about your day when you get home. Have fun. Eat dinner together. Call each other with exciting news. Text your spouse just because they crossed your mind. Go on regular dates. Have inside jokes. Live life and live it together.

-Pick your battles.

Do you really need to point out everything that you think your spouse does wrong? Is what you’re about to say really worth an argument or possibly hurting your loved one? I’ve learned the Thumper rule: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

-Serve your spouse.

Try to perceive their needs and meet them. Work hard to notice the things they do well and encourage them. Build them up consistently and frequently.

-Hanky Panky.

Nuff said there. It’s not to be used as a weapon. It protects your marriage, and it is God’s gift to your marriage.

-Put your spouse second.

Whhhaaattt? Yep. That’s what I said. Jesus comes first. He taught us what love truly means: It is sacrificial. It comes with a price. It loves the unlovable. It redeems us and frees us. Our love for our spouse can do the exact same thing as long as Jesus is number one.

Not married yet?

Now is a fantastic time to look at your relationship with Christ. Do you know him intimately? He will prepare your heart for what’s to come. Get to know him so your heart is prepared for your future adventure.

Next time: God’s Hope for Your Marriage