Donna Reed In Blue Jeans

Moment Of Genius!

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:16:00 +0000

Hello There Old Friends!

Ahhhh! Veteran's Day - A federal holiday, a day to remember our Veteran's, a day that the post offices are all closed...

So, I had a package to mail and as I only have Fridays off (Saturdays and Sundays too, but those are kids and "lazy" days) I decided to mail off the package today. I asked Brian if he wanted to join me, and he said sure. We pack up into his truck and drive to the post office - after seeing only a few cars in the lot, Brian says to me, "Uh, you sure it's open this late? This is the least amount of cars I've seen in that parking lot, ever."

"It's only 3:00 - it's still open."

So we pull in, I go in and the counter is closed. Obviously, I'm a little peeved - I make him drive me to the next post office while I mumble that I cannot for the life of me understand why it's not open, for god-sake. We get to the next location only to find that it is also CLOSED. This is where I go nuts and start flailing my arms about, and shouting things about government conspiracies when Brian snaps his finger and says, "It's Veteran's Day, Dummass! The post offices are all closed."

Fuming, I say, "If I'm the dumass, why didn't you tell they were closed BEFORE we drove out here, HuH?"

And that my friends is a moment of genius generated a moment too late.

BTW, Happy Veteran's Day!

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One For The Money Move - Who's Excited?

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 21:23:00 +0000

Ooohh, Oooohhh! ME! I'm EXCITED! I am SO trilled to see this movie has FINALLY been made! It's a long time comin' and I Cannot wait! I hope that it doesn't disappoint - in fact, to insure that it won't disappoint, I won't reread the book. I'm always unhappy with a movie if I reread the book before hand.

Oh, and Hi y'all! Long time no blog.

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Ohmegosh! The Label's So Cute! I Have To Buy It!

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 13:37:00 +0000

I'd hate to think that advertisers have me pegged so well that they can determine what I'll buy and how I'll buy it just by store location, labels, font, color selection or the combination there of. But sadly, they obviously do.

On the way home from work, Brian called and asked that I stop to buy a bottle of wine. Now, you all should know that I am no wine connoisseur by any means. I like drinking it and I know what I like and what I don't, but as far as choosing a good wine by name - I have no clue. So here goes my journey of selecting a wine:

I stop at Albertson's because it's conveniently on my way home. As I walk down the aisles of wine, beers, and bubbly champagnes, I am SO confused - there are way too many selections! I am trying to make a discernible selection when, from the corner of my eye, I see a flash of color from the end cap - yellow, blue and white - Pretty! I move in closer for a better look - Ooohh, I love the font! Ohmegosh! How cute - the wine's name is Cupcake! And LOOK! there's a cute drawing of a cupcake on top!

I grab the bottle in my hand, crook my finger on my chin as though in deep thought, and read key words: fresh, complex, vibrant zing, reminiscent of Grandma's lemon chiffon cupcakes... Serve with oysters ... I think, "Perfect".

Truth be told, I was sold, not by the description printed on the back, but by the pretty label on the front, i.e. the pretty color combination, lovely font, and cute name. The stylized cupcake drawing on top was, the icing on the cake, so to speak. (Harr Harr, I couldn't resist.)

It actually turned out to be a pretty good wine. It was light, zingy, and clean - just as described. Not bad for $13.00.

So, although the advertisers had me pegged for a easily swayed, non-wine connoisseur-ing wine drinker, I enjoyed being lead to a product . . . This time.

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American, I Don't Think So.

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 15:45:00 +0000

When you have a large family, dinner time is kind of like an assembly line.

Brian calls the girls to dinner and tells them to line up. Bailey moseys on over but still manages to be first, when Mikaela rushes in front and calls, "Cut, Cut, Chinese Cut, No Backies!"

Bailey looks perturbed, but she says nothing.

Laila, who views everything from the end of the line, decides that she was going for it! "Cut, Cut, Chinese Cut, No Backies!" she calls and tries to take her place in front of Bailey.

With a grand sweep of her arm that pushes Laila back in place behind her, Bailey says calmly and with no infliction of her voice, "American, I Don't Think So. Get Back, Jack."

Poor Laila was thwarted! Ah well, such is life. The best part is when Laila tries to go between Bailey's legs and Bailey squeezes her thighs together thus ending that method of invasion.

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June 30th Can't ComeFast Enough!

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 15:59:00 +0000

I just can't wait! Check this out!

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That's My Favorite Booger

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 21:06:00 +0000

In the dark of the night, Sophie and I are lying down in bed (Brian's there too, but he's already in "Dreamland") when Sophie said, "Here Momma," and then shoved something in my face. I grabbed hold of whatever it is pinched between her fingers - it felt kind of like a booger.

"Uh, Sophie, what is this?" I asked with a little trepidation.

"A booger."

*FLICK*

Sophie, now grabbing my finger, asks, "Where is it?"

"Where is what?"

"My booger?"

"I threw it away."

"But it was my favorite booger! I made it myself!"

"It's okay, Sophie, you can grow a new favorite booger."

"Okay."

"Good night."

"Good night, Momma."

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What? That's not the right date.

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 08:53:00 +0000

Yes, I realize that my previous post is dated as DEC. 2, 2009. That's when I "started" the post. I've just finished it today. Isn't that just the most pathetic thing you've ever heard of? I mean, considering the length and rather skimpy content. That SHOULD have been an AWESOME POST! But it just ended up being a MEH, post.

Meh. I'm going to bed now.

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Did I Forget My Password? Um, No.

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:03:00 +0000

Gosh, where do I begin? Well, I guess firstly, I'm not sure that this is the "Awesome" post I promised, but it's a post. It seems a lifetime since I posted on my blog. One would have figured that I forgot my password, but I haven't - I've just been busy as all hell. I've been meaning to come in and post pithy little things that the girls have said, but because I didn't do it right away, I forgot most of it - well, all of it. And that's a shame because there were some zingers in there.

Anyway, a lot has happened in the many, many months that I've neglected my blog. It would be impossible for me to try to remember all of which has occurred, so I will highlight some as they come to me. I can't promise anything anymore.

Second, I guess if you've been following my tweets, you know that I've started a new job. I'm now working for a DDS and working long hours (10-11 hr. shifts are long to me), but I do get Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off, so that's awesome. I'm really loving my new job! Except when I'm splashed with blood, spit, or the mixture of both. Then there is that moment when I want to throw up my hands and say, "I'm done. I'm going home to take a shower. Be back in a few hours", but I can't. So, I march on. I AM getting into Heaven, or entering the Pure Lands, or any other equivalent, dammit!

Third, I have four dates marked on my calendar that I cannot wait for.

March 17th

March 19th

The Bounty Hunter

March 20th

New Moon

June 30th

ECLIPSE

That's all I got, Folks! Sad. I know.

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Expect An AWESOME Post, Just Not Now.

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:33:00 +0000

i have an AWESOME post, really I do. But I have some photo uploading to do, and well, I just don't have it in me right now. So, I promise to have an AWESOME post. . . at some point in the near future.

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Who's On First?

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:40:00 +0000

Remember the Abbott and Costello skit of "Who's on First"? Yeah, that's pretty much how my conversation with my mom went yesterday while we were shopping at Costco. Here's how it played out:

Me: "Oohh, look at those cute umbrellas!"

Mom: "Yeah, they're on sale."

Me: "Oh really? How much are they?"

Mom: "Five dollars."

Me: "They're on sale for five dollars?"

Mom: "Yeah. For one."

Me: "But there are two in here."

Mom: "Yeah, I know. They're 5 dollars each."

Me: "So, they're 10 dollars?"

Mom: "No, they're 5 dollars."

Me: "Five dollars? But it's originally 20 dollars."

Mom: "Yeah. But it's on sale for 5 dollars."

Me: "They are 5 dollars? Five dollars for two umbrellas?"

Mom: "What's the big deal, Corinne? It's just 15 dollars!"

Me: "What?! You just said that they were FIVE dollars!"

Mom: "Off."

Me: "Huh?"

Mom: "Five dollars off."

Me: "You said they were five dollars."

Mom: "Yeah, I meant they're 5 dollars off."

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"Tylenol Is A Safe Drug"

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:28:00 +0000

It's Red Ribbon week at school. I now have to explain every pill I put into my face portal. And assure them that the liquid I'm washing it down with is "OK" to take medicine with and is advised/approved by the medicine manufacturer.
Holy Moly! It's like they can hear the rattle of Ibuprofen from blocks away and run to the kitchen to make curtain that their mother is not a "druggie".
Well, at least my girls are enthusiastic about being Drug Free. That's a good thing, but I wish they'd ease up so I can take a Tylenol for the headache they're giving me.

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Homeward Bound - Maybe

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 20:12:00 +0000

Mikaela was home sick on Thursday. Laila seemed okay with it. She went to school and seemed perfectly happy. I saw her in the nurses office midday. I didn't get a call saying that I needed to take her home, so I figured everything was okay. I later saw her in the cafeteria, and again, she seemed happy and healthy. After my shift was over, I went to Bailey's middle school and spent the next FOUR HOURS there for parent/teacher conferences (but that's another story). So anyway, when I finally get home, I asked Laila how school was. And this is what she said:

"Do you know that I went to the nurses office twice with a sore throat today, and I couldn't even manage to get myself sent home?!"

That's my little girl.

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Torture By Lip Gloss

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:32:00 +0000

Have you ever let a 3 year old apply lip gloss? On YOUR mouth? It's like Chinese Water Torture.

So there I am, minding my own business, when Sophia comes to me with her lip gloss cell phone. "See my phone, mama? It'sh make-up."

"Yes, I see."

"You want shum?"

Eying the gooey, glittery, jelly gunk separated by tiny trays all conveniently packaged in a slim cell phone looking container, I say, "Ah, no. It's okay, baby."

"Kummon, mama. It'sh okay. Give me your mouff."

"Ah, okay. Just a little bit," I consed. This is Sophie's cue to smear as much of that gelatinous goop across my lips, pass my lip line up towards my cheek, and back toward my nose, all while I grimace, whimper, and try to move my lips and face around so that I can minimize the facial goop slathering. I can feel the glitter scrapping my skin. It's making my skin crawl.

"DON'T MOOF!" Sophie yells.

"O-kay", I whimper out.

"There!" Sophie stands back to admire her handy work with a big grin.

I, on the other hand, am left feeling like I've been slimed by that green ghost thingy from Ghost Busters. I'm jutting my lips out in a weird contorted smile and resisting the urge to wipe all that junk off my face, because I know that if I do, she will only reapply. I must resist the urge until I can steal away to the bathroom, lock the door, and wet wipe my face.

You've won this round, Sophie.

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It's Not A Tumor!

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:46:00 +0000

Mikaela has trouble remembering to hand in her homework, which is sad, considering she spends the time actually doing it every night. So, today Laila says to me, "Mama, Mrs. M. says Mikaela's not handing in her homework."

Turning to Mikaela, I say, "Mikaela, you need to remember to turn in your work."

"Well, it's not my fault. They forget to remind me," is her response.

"Mikaela," I say. "They don't have remind you. It's your job to turn in your homework."

"Well, maybe I have a brain tumor that makes me forget."

Okay. Only some of you actually "know" Mikaela. Those of you who do, know that she has a speech pattern that makes her sound like she's from New England or the East Coast area. Basically she drops her ending "R's" so when she said "tumor" it actually sounded like Arnold in Kindergarten Cop, when he says, "It's not a too-mah".

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with my kids. Where do they come up with these things?

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Corn Maze: Doux

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:29:00 +0000

We went to the Corn Maze last year and had a total blast. This year was just as fun, although we opted not to go through the maze because it had rained the day before and the maze was too muddy to meander through. But I think we made up for it in other activities:

The Drive: View of the Florida Mountains (pronounces Flor-ee-da) in New Mexico from my window:

The "Blackhole Slides":

Yeah, Sophie skidded to a halt right where you see her. Too light to carry her any further, I guess.

The Giant Tire Mountain:
You're only seeing the tip of the "iceberg", baby. Trust me when I say, it's GINORMOUS! Okay, maybe not "ginormous", but it's pretty big.

The Enormous Tire Obstacles:

Sophie's smile has gone from Anime to Popeye. Don't ask me why, because I don't know.
The Hay Ride:

Up close and personal with Bailey. Her response to my close up photo? "Uh, momma? How 'bout taking a proper picture of me?" Some people are so touchy.
The Pumpkin Patch: Brian helps the girls select a "perfect pumpkin".
Laila breaks from the group in search for a just right pumpkin.
Sophie found her pumpkin.

Surprising batch of Morning Glory throughout the pumpkin patch.
Bailey,"I found MY pumpkin."
We opted for one that we could actually carry back to the hay ride.
Getting Personal: The Out House. Surprisingly clean. Now, I try not to use any public restrooms at the best of times - if I can hold it till I can get home, I will. I will only use a port-a-potty when I ab-sol-utely HAVE TO. I had to go TWICE while there! Twice. I closed the lid to save you of the contents (although it was pretty clean). Your Welcome.

Sophie's version of lunch:

Sophie driving a tractor:

The Moo How's: Take my word on this, cow's stink, BAD.

Our Total Haul:

The Incredible Hunk

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:29:00 +0000

Laila: Here D, play with the Hunk

Me: HULK.

Laila: Huh?

Me: Huuuulk.

Laila: Huuuunnnk?

Me: No, HUUULLLLk.

Laial: HuuuullllNNNNK?

Me: No, no, no. It's HuLk.

Laila: What the heck is a HULNK?

Me: Hulk. The Incredible HULK, Laila.

Laila: The Incredible Hulnk? I thought it was The Incredible HUNK.

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It's So Frickin' Cold

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 02:38:00 +0000

Sophie just got out of the shower. She was dragging a towel behind her, dripping with water. She came up to me and said,

"Can you put the towel on me because I'm so frickin' cold."

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Burning Building, Smurning Building

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 22:37:00 +0000

This weekend I had to take a CPR course. Instead of just renewing my certificate, I had to go through the whole "sha-bang-a-bang" again, because I let it slip - my renewal date came and went. So anyway, for this course we had to pick up a booklet prior to the actual class. As the studious student that I am, I followed directions. I drove all the way downtown to the community college to pick up my booklet. As I was drive toward the college, I had to wait for the multiple fire engines that were whizzing by. "Wow." I though, "Wonder what's going on?" But I'm on a mission, I cannot be distracted by fire engines. I need to get my booklet, by God! I pull into the parking lot and, guess what, the fire engines are parked all around the building. As I walk past a girl, I hear her tell a guy that she was told to get out because the building was on fire. Alrighty.
I'm not familiar with the college, so I ask someone who's exiting another building where Building A is. She points to the one I just passed, you know, the one that's on fire. So I walk back to the building because, I have to get my book. But I'm not dumb. I'm not going in without asking if it's safe. I see a Firefighter and ask him if it's ok if I go into the building that they are circling. He said, "Yeah, you can still go in." Alrighty.
When I get in, it smells like smoke; pungent & acrid - like burning plastic. I walk up a flight of stairs and go to the office that I'm supposed to pick my book up from and the lady there is frantic. "What are you doing in here! You can't be in here! The buildings on FIRE!", she yells.

"But, but," I sputter, "the fireguy said I could come in."

"Well, I'm leaving. I'm not risking my life!"

"Um, okay, but can you give me my book first, please?"

I got my book.

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Beware of Little Old Ladies With Puffy Hair & Big Glasses

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:59:00 +0000

I'd like to preface this post by saying I'm NOT an ageist, so please don't hate me for what I'm about to write. Thank you.

That being said, HOLY COW! An old lady almost killed me yesterday. I was driving down a busy street going about 45 mph (which btw, for clarification purposes, is the speed limit) when this old broad decides to make a left turn in front of my on coming car; which would not have been totally bad even though she really didn't have enough time as the traffic (i.e. me and a few other cars) was coming right at her, if she didn't also decide to stop RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOODY ROAD!!! Just stopped there - in front of me! While I'm coming at her. Because there was a poodle of water. I presume she was afraid to get her car wet, but I don't know, because I'm not insane.
As I bare down on the brakes, lock my elbows for impact (even though I know I'm not supposed to do that) and prepare for the inevitable slamming into the side of her car, I feel a little pop from the brake peddle under my foot. I stopped inches from her car. INCHES! She doesn't even look my way. I mean, this lady is COM-PLETELY oblivious to the havoc she has caused, to not only me, but also the guy behind me who almost ~~crapped his pants~~ slammed into the back of my van, AND everyone else who came to a screeching, terrifying halt. Nothing. Doesn't look my way or even waiver from her concentration of the puddle of water that she is snailing towards.
It's amazing what detail one picks up while their life flashes before their eyes. I saw what kind of car she drives (Newish Lincoln Town Car, in gray), her hair color (light brown, curly and puffy), her glasses (large & taking up most of her face), the puddle of water, the color of car the guy behind me is driving (white sports car), Sophie in the back seat watching The Little Mermaid, my mom sitting next to me with her butt clenched - everything. And yet, this lady saw nothing but a puddle of water.

So, anyway, I'm obviously alive. I was telling Brian what happened - describing the near accident in detail, when Mikaela said, "OH! I think I know that lady! Did she have big puffy hair and HUGE round glasses?"

"Mikaela," I said, "You just described 90% of all old ladies."

"Ok, but was she coming from Aunties house? Because I think I might know who it was if she was."

According to Mikaela, the general public should beware of little "old ladies with BIG puffy hair and HUGE round glasses." AKA: Grandma Mazur or Estelle Getty.

You've been warned.

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Darth Vader Vs. Anakin Skywalker

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 11:51:00 +0000

Yesterday was Curly J's Star Wars theme birthday party; he was dressed as Anakin Skywalker. When Darth Vader (AKA Brian) walked into the house, all the boys screamed and ran out the back door. They were a little freaked. After they all settled down and Darth Vader promised not to "kill them" (as per request) they agreed to take photos with him. It was too cute. So here are the photos of Anakin Skywalker with what he will become - Darth Vader.

After the photo op, Anakin and Darth Vader had a mighty battle. Apparently Anakin was trying to kill his inner darkness.

The light sabers were supposed to be party favors - you know, to be handed out when they leave. Well, the kids got a hold of them and were battling it out on the lawn. So, when Darth Vader was walking by or posing for a photo, random kids (read: boys) couldn't help taking a sneaky jab at his backside, or more often, his "codpiece". Poor Darth Vader took a beating. All for the love.

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Let Me Get My Horse

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:36:00 +0000

Set Up: Sophie and I are about to leave to get the twins from school.

Me: Okay Sophie, let me get my purse and then we can go.

Sophie: Okay mommy. Let me get my, uhhh .... (looks around) HORSE!

Me: Uh, OK.

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(Princess) Darth Sophia

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:59:00 +0000

Tomorrow is my nephew, Curly J's, birthday party. He's having a Star Wars theme; and, like last year, Brian is playing a part in the theme. You guessed it, Uncle Brian will be playing the part of Darth Vader (pictures to come). The only problem is that Sophia is scared out of her mind every time she sees the helmet/mask. So, to get her familiarized with the thing and, of course, to get her to not be afraid; we let her wear the mask - showed her all the buttons and sound effects. After a while, we couldn't get her to put the thing down.

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Sophie, the Gidget

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:06:00 +0000

Overheard morning conversation:`

Set up: Mikaela is in a mood this morning (as per norm). I shush her saying I didn't want her to wake the baby (Sophia).

Mikaela: "I don't know why people still call Sophie a baby. She's not a baby anymore."

Laila: "Well, she's kind of a baby. But, she's kind of not, so I guess she's a midget."

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Holy Cats!

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:22:00 +0000

I CANNOT wait for this movie comes out!!! It looks so freaking awesome - so much better than the original!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

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Duh, Mom!

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Toe Momma) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 03:46:00 +0000

Sophie comes into my room to rat Laila out:

Sophie: "Mama, Laila's being a bad girl."

Me: "What's new?"

Sophie: "Aaaahhhh, Laila's beeeiinngg a bad girl." (Implied "DUH")

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