Leaving A Legacy

My Baby's Journey - Rov's milestones

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:03:00 +0000

Rovilson has reached his 5th month and boy how big he has grown. There is no secret that he is heavier and bigger than 90% of the boys his age, cos that is what his paed says. Everytime we go for a checkup she would mark that little book of his and it is really normally above the average line. Wow. Makes me wonder what kind of milk did I fed him all this while.

I was just flipping his milestones chart the other day and whatever the chart indicated that he should be doing and in what month, was completely off.

Milestone : Around 3 months

Smiles at people - 1 month plus
~ Really I must say that conversing with Rov since he was born did the trick. There was so much of talking (mind you not baby talk) and smiling and laughing whenever we carried him. The immense interaction with him made him really confident and people friendly.

Lift head - 2 months
~ He was able to lift his head by a little bit by his next 2 months check up. Dr Chan his paed in KK was impressed. She was also impressed that he had gained almost 2kg from the time of his birth. And I had ample of breast milk that time. Up to 3-4 ounces per feed. Wow.

Coos and gurgles - 2 months
~ Boy was he talkative. Whenever we talked to him he would coo and coo and coo for like several minutes. I've got in on cd somewhere where he actually muttered a vague 'hello' back to me... Simply priceless.

Looks at own hands with interest - 31/2 months
~ Very very curious about his hands and how it works. Eventually it goes into his mouth.

My Baby's Journey - my lil one

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Tue, 12 May 2009 13:58:00 +0000

A day after my only sister's wedding, lil Rovilson was born. Yup he was born 2 days earlier due to some complication. I had to undergo an emergency c section as baby was in a transverse position. Apparently it only occurs in only 1 out of 2500 births. It was really very crucial for him to come out, latest on 2nd of May. My gynae wanted to take him out a week earlier but I told him that I preferred to have a normal birth and to just wait a little bit longer. Of which we did.

2nd May - sequence of events

10.30am - had breakfast at Pacific Sutera
11.30 am - the deciding appointment with Dr Sarva, KK Specialist Centre
* he scanned me, paused and calmly said that Rov was still in a transverse position. i have to undergo the emergency c section at 4pm later.. sigh *
1.00pm - did some tests. contraction was 3-5 minutes apart
* hubby and i were panicking as we did not know what to expect. i thought after seeing Grey's Anatomy, this is nothing.. boy was i wrong.
2.00pm - i was put on a glucose drip. oouucchh.. careful on the needle.
3.50pm - doc checked the baby. still transverse. nurses got me ready to be wheeled to the op room
4.00pm - Angelus came to kiss me. so sweet
4.10pm - was greeted by the friendly anaesthologist, which happens to be at my sis' wedding last night. he saw me dancing the sumazau. what a small world.
* i really thought that i was given an epidural, but apparently i was given a spinal anesthesia.
found out also that the needle was 3.5 inches long... pengsan*
4.15pm - was injected with the anaesthetic twice and felt complete numbness from my waist down in seconds. Dr Sarva came a while later and as he always is, calm and cool. He somehow has this immaculate smiling face that really calmed me down. Hubby came in, assured me that everything was ok and began recording..
4.45pm - after much struggling and tugging and pulling... finally i heard a short wail. boy was i relieved. if i could jump, i would have. i could hear hubby saying "praise the Lord, thank you Jesus." to hear him say that meant that what he had seen during the op, was really something he could not believe had happened and he was shit scared for me.
Dr Sarva brought Rov to me for 3 seconds, and he was crying and still a bit blue... God, that was indeed a miracle... my baby boy.
They wheeled me out and everyone was at the waiting room. Although the stitches was so painful, I was too excited and happy to go to sleep. They gave me a painkiller and it did made me feel sleepy, but I was talking to Angelus and hubby all the way. My parents were there, sis and her hubby, our close friend who came all the way from KL to see the baby (Selva) and my brothers.

I got to see Rov a few hours later and he was such a beauty. I could not breastfeed yet as the stiches were still a bit sore. I knew I was still on heavy medication so I doubt that there would be much milk anyway. Rov had to take formula for a while.

I did try the next day though to feed him, but I was still not producing enough. I began to feel anxious a bit. There were a lot of mixed emotions but I shall talk about that later. Now is all about Rovilson.

That was what happened on 2nd May. Double celebration for my parents as well as my whole family.

Praise the Lord for keeping us both safe.. Amen

2nd April : Happy Braxton-Hicks Contraction Day

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:59:00 +0000

It started after sending my son to tuition class at 3pm. I decided since I had the energy to do things, might as well I go out and finish up the to do list before I leave for Sabah.

There was a lot of walking, driving, anxiety, frustration and plus the heat was getting to me. I did notice the tightening of my tummy plus the intense pressure on my lower abdomen. It was very consistent throughout and the only way I could relieved it was by sitting down.

It went on through the night, until to the extent that I could not lie down properly on my bed to sleep. I was already planning in my head to call my gynae in the middle of the night and to ask her to come and check on me. If not, drive to the hospital myself. I was ready and frankly I was a bit relaxed (even though I am supposed to deliver in Sabah and all arrangements had been made there already), because then I would be able to call hubby home earlier and I would get to see him when he comes back then.

Whatever it was, I knew that the baby was not ready yet. There was no blood or water gushing out, just irregular contractions and it eased up a bit if I am in a sitting position. So that was it for the rest of the night. I was asleep in an upright position, had cramps, could not move much and woke up several times to adjust the pillows. I was wimpering a bit and for comfort I was listening to my son's snores and movements. It was nice to have someone around.

I prayed to God also to help me get through the night, of which He did. After sending son off at 7am, I continued my sleep till 11am, without disturbance. No contraction today.

I did manage to get hold of hubby and related to him the story. I did not want to panic him, but I did tell him that I was ready to give birth here so that I can be with him, instead of thousands of miles away. Cae sera sera I guess. God willing. As well as the baby's decision also. If he can stay put, then ok. If not, expect an early delivery from now till the 12th.

Keep you guys updated ok!

My Baby's Journey Week 35

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 02:42:00 +0000

1st of April.

Approximately 4 more week to go for full term, and anything can happen in between. My due date would be between the 27th to 4th of May, but I am really hoping for the baby to come after the 1st of May.

I know the petua orang-orang tua says that to enable the baby to come out faster, you have to do a lot of walking, do house chores, eat spicy food, make love, etc, and knowing all this, I am definitely staying my best to stay put at home. But life does not permit me to do such things. If I be stagnant, the amount of responsibilities and follow-ups around me would definitely pile up till I would really just deliver earlier thinking of them. So what do I do. I pray to God that everything would go as plan. I stop and rest when my feet hurts, and when I am getting some really bad contractions. I try to not get too emotional with everything because my anxiety and excitement can actually trigger contractions. Lastly when there is way too much activity in my tummy (as in the baby will just kick, punch, swerve, dance, going in circles etc!), I will calm him down by singing and rubbing his head or feet or hand (whatever that I see protruding on my tummy). It does calm him down.

And so by the way this is not an April Fool's joke.

See you guys next week - week 36!

First entry of the year

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:40:00 +0000

So sad.

Only one, and it is already March.

I have skipped about 20 weeks of my baby's development, and boy, I can tell you a lot has happened in this 5 months or so.

As you might all know, I am due soon, and I am already at week 34!!!! Can you believe that? In 2 weeks time I will be at my 9th month and then... pop goes the baby. Takutnye!

As usual the symptoms are all there. Back pain, pelvic pain, leg pain, feet pain. You name it. But as some people had advised, think happy positive thoughts and the baby will definitely feel that.

A little something on the baby, as at the last scan I went to, which was on Monday:

~ Baby is 2.4kg. No wonder so heavy.
~ He is still in a breech position, that means my lil man is not ready to venture out yet. So it will take some time
~ He has about 2cms of hair. My gynae said - panjangnya rambut. Not sure whose gene he's following.
~He was sleeping that morning so could not get a look at his cute face.
~ But previous 3D scans showed that he had my flat nose and looked like Angelus.
~ Baby is very active as my gynae had to position him by massaging my tummy. The next minute he changed his position and completely blocked his face. My gynae was indicating that he might decide to come out earlier.
~ I am due to fly back soon. But because of circumstances, I wanted to delay further. Doc said it is not advisable as I can deliver from 37 weeks onwards. (But I want to be here for Easter!!.. sigh...)
~ I have only gained 0.1kg from the last appointment 2 weeks ago. It must be that streneous trip I had during the holidays. Angelus can be quite a handful. My other boy too. :D

So that's it. I am still in dilemma about a lot of things. And although I am not working, managing a school-going son, a clingy hubby (I love you), CFO (Chief Family/Financial) of the house and investments/projects, I do feel pretty worried.

Gosh, it's 1pm. Gotta pick up my son now. Till the next time......

My Baby's Journey Week 12

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 02:35:00 +0000

Wow! I skipped a whole month. Yipes. Sorry people. I guess there was just a lot of things that has been going on.

So I will be going for my routine ante-natal check up this Friday. Some said that I will be able to see the baby's gender by now. Really? That fast. But I have received same predictions from 5 people that I know about the gender of the baby. I would not want to hope for anything, not just yet. So let's leave it as it is.

We have not bought a single thing for our new arrival just yet. Right now we are actually trying to wean Angelus from our room and place him in his own room. But I am really careful not to force him or anything or else he would really be uncomfortable with the idea. We were thinking of some funky double decker bed and nice storage cabinets, and with some cool wall paper or something. Hahaha. Nothing beats a bribe.

I came upon this Chinese Lunar Calendar website that actually can predict the gender of my baby. And guess what after going through the instructions, my baby would be a girl. What is the odd of that?

So for those who are expecting maybe you gals can try this out. It is after all 99% accurate.

Guess what. We have already decided on the names of the babies, boy or girl. This is so exciting!

Plus, a road trip this Deepavali. Stay tuned in my travel blog - take a walk and smell the flowers

My Baby's Journey Week 8

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:40:00 +0000

I really cannot recall if my nausea was this bad during my first pregnancy. I noticed it now triggers whenever I feel anxious or excited or nervous about something. Oh my. Now I have to be a boring emotionless person in order for my nausea attacks to be in control. Hmmm.. Oh dear.

That leaves me with nothing much to do. Sleep, eat, blog and watch tv. Oh gosh.

But you know la me. Mind over matter is the in thing for hubby and I currently. So I squeeze in a few evening walks now and then, coupled with doing the laundry, cleaning, mild shopping and eating out. I am beginning to lose interest in eating out nowadays also. The level of cleanliness has somehow declined and the pregnancy has alleviated my sense of smell to almost bionically impossible to explain. Uurrgh. Thinking about it does not help either. Ok change of topic.

So what do I do when I am faced with all these challenges.

1. Drink lots of limau (lemon) water or juice.

2. Chew bubble gum

3. Take deep breaths

4. Eat home cooked food (I miss my mummy's cooking and sister's soup)

5. Stop breathing if I see or smell anything remotely disgusting (walk away fast!)

6. Close my eyes (same as no. 5)

7. If I really have to do something disgusting, that is when my mind over matter kicks in. Oh my goodness, that one drains out most of my enery, man!!! Bleeehhh....

8. Sniff Vicks or minyak angin

9. When there is a lot of air in my tummy (like last night - continuously burping out the air), I lie down, put some medicated oil on my tummy and try to push the air out. It almost feels like having gastric, that's why I need the air to go out fast).

10. No gas drinks at all (I learned my lesson already!)

Urrgh.. Mind over matter.. Mind over matter..

My Baby's Journey Week 7

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 02:40:00 +0000

Yayyy!! My baby is alive and kicking (not literally, but he/she is there!!)

Went for the 6th week ultra sound scan last Friday. My gosh, the anticipation and nervousness and curiousness was way above us. We were just there hoping for the best and expecting the worst. I was literally on the fence and the only thing that I was hanging on to was my faith in God. I could not hang on to hubby cos I know even though he looks macho and strong outside, inside he is as soft as a puppy's fur when it comes to this kind of stuff. Poor thing.

As you know my bleeding had completely stopped. Thank God for that. The hormone pills that the doc gave really worked and I reckoned it helped healed the amniotic sac. My HCG hormone (the pregnancy hormone) doubled and that was a good sign that I would not be experiencing any miscarriage anytime soon.

So about 15 minutes waiting, we finally got called in. This is it. Please let there be a heart beat. That was all I wanted.

First the normal ultra sound scan. The doc actually had to press really HARD to get a proper look, cos it seems that my uterus is terbalik?? (retro verted). Aiyo. What else can go wrong la? And that was why it was pretty difficult to see the baby. SO again she had to use the TVS which was undoubtedly uncomfortable. Probe, probe, probe.. and there it was. A tiny, teeny micro dot moving left right up down as though it was being poked around. It was my baby's heartbeat, y'all!!!!!

Gosh how I wish I had a camera to record that heartbeat. This survivor, fighter, miracle baby of mine. HI THERE!! Mummy and Dadda is looking at you!! Peek a Boo!

Ok, ok. I know it is just a form of cell and not much of a human being yet, but I think I was just fast forwarding to when we will able to cuddle him/her in our arms. Yipee! A gift from God, it is, and it's growing inside of me. (I do so sound like a first time mum, but it has been 6 years now. I am so excited).

I remembered when I was pregnant with my son, I was so happy. My hair was silky and shiny. I was always a jovial person and there was not much of morning sickness or headaches etc. I was still working that time. I could not stay still. I was always on the go. I had the energy of a horse.

But now ever since the miscarriage scare, I had to tone it down. Besides, just going from the kitchen to my bedroom upstairs leaves me panting for air. I could not even spend 3 hours in a mall without feeling dizzy. I am not sure whether it is the intensity of shopping or maybe too many people or just sometimes some places do not have the right amount of air conditioning. I am not sure which one, but I think all 3 played a part. Can you still believe that a sack of rice that I bought 3 days back is still in the car?? I did not dare to carry it into the house cos I have to go from the back gate and then into the kitchen. My gate is spoiled (darn dog chewed off the wires) so I am stuck. SO the 10kg sack of rice is still in the car. Grrrr. Hubby's outstation and coming back today. Will definitely tell that I just bought the rice today and ask him to carry it in (hee hee.. shhh.)

A little bit off topic, but I got the good news part of my chest. I have also got a picture of the scan of which hubby wanted to laminate and frame it. Well it is his first baby, considering the fact that he skipped the whole infant to toddler years of Angelus. Soo now hubby gets to squirm, cuddle, drool and fuss over his very own little bundle of joy. Really cannot wait for that.

So that is all folks. Next ultra sound would be on the 26th, whereby baby is 8 weeks old!! This time I will definitely bring a digicam!!

Getting Pregnant Month 3, Part 3 - second opinion

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:01:00 +0000

yesterday hubby and i decided to go to damansara specialist centre for a second opinion and also bases on the advice of our cousin doctor. according to him this gynae is quite good and very reputable. maybe he can answer some of the questions that i still have.

well basically it was the same as my first visit though. but this doctor brought a little bit more hope to us. he mentioned that there was bleeding around the sac and this was because of me lacking of the HCG hormone which basically helps with the pregnancy. And because of lack of HCG, in turn I am also lacking the hormone progesterone. Progesterone enriches the uterus with a thick lining of blood vessels and capillaries so that it can sustain the growing fetus. Which is why the doctor prescribed me with progesterone pills to be taken twice daily.

i also had a minor blood test done to detemine the levels of HCG in my body. the second test would be in 2 days time. this is to determine whether the pregnancy is viable or not. i should have about 5,000-200,000 mIU/ml of expected HCG levels. also if there is a decrease in HCG levels between the first and second one, then there is something to be worried about.

basically, it is a 50/50 chance to this pregnancy. if it goes to the path that we all want, according to the doc, the baby will be fine (so that answered my first question). also i will still be bleeding a bit while my body is trying to heal the sac. so right now even though i am still bleeding there is a high chance that the pregnancy is still viable.

baby, if you can hear mummy, please be strong and please show us your little heart beat next week on tuesday. mummy and dadda would really like that...

Getting Pregnant Month 3, Part 2 - bleeding day 5

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 01:27:00 +0000

Hi everyone.

It is day 5, and 6 more days to my ultra scan check up, and yes I am still bleeding. Mostly spots actually and I am shit scared.
I am still experiencing some cramps here and there. All I can do now is to pray..

Lord, my heart is not proud;
my eyes are not haughty.
I don't concern myself with matters too great
or too awesome for me to grasp.
Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother's milk.
Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—
now and always.

Psalm 131

Getting Pregnant Month 3 - First Checkup

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 03:35:00 +0000

i am having slight bleeding for the past 4 days now, and we decided to go for a checkup even though the last GP told me to go only in weeks time. i thought that the bleeding was not a source of concern since i read that it might be due to the embryo implantation to the uterus. however according to the articles that i have read, implantation occurs within a week after conception. my conception date was in early august. i have my doubts there that the bleeding is caused by the implantation.

i decided to go somewhere near this time, also not to a private clinic or medical center but to the community hospital at my place. so the nearest one was Columbia Hospital, Puchong. got myself registered and waited for the female gynae. her name was Dr. Raja.

waited for about half an hour and when finally my turn was up, i felt a little bit nervous. went in and told the doctor that i had some bleeding going on. so she asked me to lie down.

at first when she did the scanning she pointed to me that there was a 2cm fibroid near the sac. there was also a cyst near my ovary of which was not a concern and that it will shrink soon. the sac was still too small to see clearly as she explained that it was still early. so she said that she had to do another type of scan that is much more clearer. i consented to that as i really wanted to know what was going on.

so she probed and probed (it was quite uncomfortable at times) and finally she saw the sac. she showed me the position of the fibroid and the sac of which was very close to each other. then she said that the sac was a little bit deformed though. i was a little bit confused. then she told me to sit down.

so she taught me a little bit of embryo implantation 101. this is the illustration.

okay it does not really look like that but basically my sac was a little bit deformed. the more she explained, the more bad news she gave. the embryo might be unhealthy, and within this few days i might lose it completely, as in i'm going to have a miscarriage. i was in shock and practically shivering. the doc gave me 2 choices on what i should do now. either to have 2 blood tests to confirm the failed pregnancy or wait for another week for the ultra sound scan and see how it goes. if by next week she sees a normal shaped sac and heart beat that means the pregnancy is good to go. but deep in my heart if the embryo was unhealthy in the first place, would it meant that i would have an unhealthy baby? i think at that time i was just too overwhelmed with emotion i did not proceed with the question in mind. how i wish hubby was there. anyway i opted for the second one as in i will wait for nature to take its course and see her again next week.

when i went out, i blindly walked to the cashier and waited. the nurse came back with my appointment card for next tuesday morning. then my name was called and the whole visit cost me rm 115! yipes. even that was not shocking. i was dumb founded literally.

walked out and my mind was racing. what to tell hubby? would i break first or he? i think if he had been with me he would have broken down first, and i would follow suit. i went in the car, switched on the engine and the a/c, but figured that the engine might get too hot if i was in the car too long. switched off. gosh so hot. so i opted for the a/c again instead. then i dialled. i could sense he was anticipating it and was as nervous as me (when i first went in to see the doc). and so i told him but i remained calm and hopeful. after that i went home completely forgetting all my chores. i had no energy (mentally) to be efficient today.

at home i began surfing. just trying to find answers on my whats, whys, hows and whens questions. was it because of the fibroid? but i had it when i was pregnant with angelus, and it actually shrunk. i read that fibroids can interfere with the embryo implantation. yipes. is this whats going on? then went googled miscarriage, and i came on this youtube video.

that was when i broke down.

if this baby really is not meant to be, then i hope God will bring him/her to heaven safely.
and if this baby sail through the first trimester, i pray to God that it will be a healthy one.

so please prayer warriors and all those who are reading this, pray for me and this unborn child of mine to make it through the week.
if the miscarriage happens, pray for strength and courage to be given to both myself and hubby and to all who were anticipating for this baby.

thanks to all for your wishes and words of encouragement.

i am indeed blessed

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:47:00 +0000

to come across women who goes through a lot to get pregnant, but yet fail and fail again, makes me feel that i am among those who are blessed. we did tried once and failed once, but to get it right the second time, is indeed a miracle.

i am already in the beginning of my first trimester, a period where i should be resting and not walk too much as we wait for the implantation to the wall of my uterus is done.

however since i have this cough and flu after my trip to indon, i seem to be having mild asthma now and then. whenever i climb up the stairs etc, i will be having shortness of breath and i can feel that my lungs are blocked by phlegm, most probably. also after the flu medicine last night, i was knocked out even though i slept in the afternoon.

and today, i still feel sleepy and a little bit fatigue.

i think this time around i am going on a strict nutritious diet and exercise well so that i do not gain too much of unnecessary kilos. i know breastfeeding would slash those pounds away, but it does not hurt to be a gorgeous pregnant 30 year old mum now isn't it?

so my regime starts now.

we have already gotten names for the babe as well, both for male and female. wowee, the first (by blood) grandchild for the Doss family.

also while i was shopping for some stuff yesterday, i could not help feeling a little bit mortified because here it has been mummy and angelus for 6 years, and now there is another addition to this equation. i feel sort of scared that the bond that i have with son would be minimalised and diverted to this lil person in me. sort of scared of the changes. especially something that i cannot foresee in the future. son means the world to me and he has already shown his intelligence and obedience and compassion and leadership in such a young age. i am just afraid that his little bro/sis might be of different character than him, something that hubby and i cannot handle. sigh..

i think i will end this post with this verse..

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I cant even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

Psalm 139:16–18

i believe that God has set out a course for everyone. i guess i only have to believe in Him and trust in His plans..

disciplining your child

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:41:00 +0000

To discipline a child produces wisdom,
but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child. …
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind
and will make your heart glad.

Proverbs 29:15, 17

In this family of mine, hubby and I do not tolerate laziness, talking back, no manners and lying. That is what we live by when disciplining our son. It is difficult to actually maintain our poise when the other parent is busy scolding cos the other one might disagree or do not want to torment the child further.

Just the other day son was is an unacceptable situation whereby he completely lost his manners. so hubby was pretty angry about that and son got it from him. i kept quiet but i did scolded him (to show that i disapprove it as well) but i was not the main disciplinarian at that time. Hubby and I each got our moments whereby one of us was the main disciplinarian. The other would scold to disapprove but not to the extent of beating to avoid tormenting son further.

So make sure there is enough disciplining going on at your home as well as balance it out with constant love, care and encouragement when he/she deserves it.

Getting Pregnant Month 2 Chapter 2 - Bull's Eye

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 03:11:00 +0000

BULL'S EYE!!

That is all I can say for this post, cos.......

i can see 2 lines!!!

yipeeeee!!!!

A message of hope

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 06:25:00 +0000

The LORD will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever.
Don't abandon me, for you made me.

Psalm 138:8

Many a times some of us might call it quits in life. For some of us, it would be during those dreary confusing teenage years of which we were still trying to hang on to lost love, or maybe a dreadful incident that we had witnessed between our parents scarred us for life, or maybe a tragic loss of a loved one. Even losing money might be a reason why some people would want to end their lives.

But what is highlighted in the bible passage above is true for all us, no matter what religion we are in. God, Allah, Buddha etc would test us until to a certain point of which we will bounce back again. God has a plan for all of us and it is not in His nature to abandon his people.

So hang on for those who are in remorse now and clutch tightly the word and love of God, for if you are steadfast in Him, He will definitely show you the way...

angry and frustrated

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 02:28:00 +0000

i was drowned with utmost remorse and disgust when i read in the papers yesterday, that a barely day old baby was found ababndoned in a drain near ara damansara. several kongsi workers heard the baby's cries and was actually taken aback at first, fearing that it was a ghost or something. but luckily they came back and managed to find the baby, full with insect bites and was a little bit blue because of the cold.

in relation to my topic, i am really angry because here i am waiting and praying to conceive, there are still people out there who consider the greatest miracle God had bestowed on us, as a piece of rubbish, waiting to be discarded away just like that.

my prayers are with the little baby whom is now recuperating well in University Malaya Medical Centre. God bless him..

Getting Pregnant Month 2, Chapter 1 - Rest and Relax

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 04:05:00 +0000

My aim is to rest and relax at home. Eat a healthy diet of fruits, vegetables, meat, lots of iron and protein, milk for the calcium and multi vitamins for the extra supplement that I will need. So far I have complied with eating a lot of fruits as hubby and I are on a rampage almost every night going all out buying rambutans, durians, apples, oranges etc. Since today is Wednesday, we would be going to SS3 and pajak (buy) their mangoes, apples, langsat, rambutans and coconut. My gosh. Can we actually get an overdose from eating too much of fruits? LOL! Hmm... Am I trying too hard here? As far as I can remember I did not try this hard when I got my first kid. Relax Edna...

Anyway, about the whole idea of getting a little bit of R&R. NOT happening! This coming Saturday will be son's Sports Day. Now that will start bright and early in the morning at 7am. My goodness. It will somehow last until somewhere before noon, and of course I will be up on my toes trying to get as much videos and photos of my little boy. Sigh. How he has grown. And being a fanatic athlete himself, hubby is training him for his run on that day. Aiyo. Training would be running about 100 metres as fast as he can. I am not really sure if he will be running that far, dear. For all we know it might just be running 50 metres together with his friends, carrying an egg with a spoon, or something like that. The second half of Saturday would be just free and easy, as hubby would be going to PD for a football match.

Sunday would be a VERY busy day, as we will be going to church for the first service at 7.30am (urgh.. I'm not a morning person). After that around 10am the whole family as well as hubby's Australian boss (and his family) will be going to Sunway Lagoon! My son is pretty hyped about that. His hypeness for his sports day has died off.

So the only days that I can rest will be on weekdays from 8am to 2.30pm, because this is when son goes to school. After that it is chaos again until a little bit after midnight, as hubby and I would hang out till then. Gosh. Who says being a Stay At Home Mum is easy? Plus the pressure of getting pregnant. It is sometimes very stressfull indeed.

Next weekend would be the week that we will be going to Pekan Baru, Indonesia for our church's mission trip. My first mission trip and I am terribly nervous. That would take us 5 days. Then the next weekend after that hubby and I will be organising a farewell dinner to one of the most happening pastors in our church, Pastor David Heng, also the pastor for Christian Care Centre. That would be a totally different story.

So what is the result for this R&R plan? NOT working! Maybe I should just go ahead with my daily routines and not think too much of it. Well let's just wait and see.

Getting Pregnant Month 1 - First Try

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 03:14:00 +0000

it all started in june. we have been talking about getting an addition in our family long before this and we actually planned to have a july baby next year. that would mean we would have to do the necessary by september.

however a wind of change came upon us on that fateful month whereby we just knew that it is time to go for it.

so the journey (back dated) started on the 9th of june. i think that was my first day of period. so i would have to wait about 10 to 15 days after that of which this is the time where i am most fertile. unfortunately the decision to go for it came on the 17th day. what the heck we just tried and hopefully something fruitful would come out of it. according to the experts, i would have to wait about 14 days after that and then test whether i am pregnant or not.

around the 2nd week of july i did a test. it turned out to be negative. i still had hope cos i still did not get my period. there was no spotting or bleeding as well. i did another test on the 17th hoping that i would have good news to tell my family before we went for our terengganu trip. and still only one lonely pink line. shucks. but still no period. i did have some nauseous spells on and off, but i brushed it off as it could be anything. and my third test was on the 23rd. still negative, and there were traces of blood. it was too late already to have much hope but i googled 'bleeding during pregnancy' and this is what i got from

http://edition.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/PR/00087.html :

"Implantation. You may notice a small amount of vaginal bleeding very early in pregnancy, about 10 to 14 days after fertilization. This "implantation bleeding" happens when the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of your uterus. It's usually earlier, spottier and lighter in color than a normal menstrual period, and it doesn't last long. Some women mistake this light bleeding for a period and don't realize they're pregnant".

this fact was the only thing that kept me going. i knew that it was a long shot so i prepared hubby for it. and even though i know that it is still possible, there was that tinge of doubt as well.

the last few days prior to the charity visit weekend was tiring and exhausting. i was running around trying to get everything organised especially on that friday evening. since we had only one car as hubby's car was in the workshop i had to wait for him to come back from work at 4pm then i could go out and buy the things that i needed. right up to that saturday night, i really had lack of sleep and as proof on that saturday itself i had a horrible headache of which i got rid off with 2 panadols.

sunday was eventless except that we skipped church as i slept until 1pm. in the evening hubby had his normal football match. but come monday, which was a devastation for me. i had a full blown 'visit' from my monthly visitor. all hopes were dashed. i am not pregnant. i think my period was irregular this month because of the anxiety of wanting so much to get pregnant and the stress i had with the charity visit planning. gosh. it was a pretty sad day for me. i quickly mentioned to hubby that i had my period but i hid the dissapointment by telling him that we will do it right the next month. sigh...

what a roller coaster moment for us this month. everything went by so quickly and now it is 2 more days to august. i barely have time to write long posts like this or to even update my other 3 blogs.

but whatever it is Getting Pregnant Month 2 - Operation (R&R) Rest and Relax is in motion now. i will be watching my diet as well as hubby's and consuming lots and lots of good nutrients and vitamins. i think it happens naturally and we should not push for it. so just relax and let nature takes its course. i am sure we will be successful this time. Yiii peeee...

Another new sanctuary

noreply@blogger.com (LxndreaSB) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:27:00 +0000

I am used to getting new revelations on what to write about every single day of my life. At one time I wanted to talk about God and how He had blessed us so abundantly, but somehow I did not know where to jot it down. So now based on my hubbys' advice, he has suggested that I opened up a new blog that talks about people's life and their testimony while living in the light of God. Thus today I will start with this verse -

"I didn't believe what was said until I arrived here and saw it with my own eyes. In fact, I had not heard the half of it! Your wisdom and prosperity are far beyond what I was told. … Praise the Lord your God, who delights in you and has placed you on the throne of Israel. Because of the Lord's eternal love for Israel, he has made you king so you can rule with justice and righteousness." … So King Solomon became richer and wiser than any other king on earth.1 Kings 10:7, 9, 23

I have not led a very simple life before this. I felt that I had to take one step up in front of everybody in order to survive and maintain my sanity. I felt that I had to work 10 times harder than anyone else to earn a little bit of respect and dignity.

Until I met my husband.

Ever since then, life has become a blessing for us and we kept on wanting to do good things for other people. We know that what God gives us, He can take it away it also. Thus with this principle in mind, we were never selfish with what we have and we tried to chip in in anyway we can.

The LORD was very angry with Solomon, for his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. He had warned Solomon specifically about worshiping other gods, but Solomon did not listen to the LORD's command. So now the LORD said to him, "Since you have not kept my covenant and have disobeyed my decrees, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your servants. 1 Kings 11:9-11.

All I am saying is that even though we have all the money in the world, it is still not ours for our lives is not for us, but it is for our children and their children. We are borrowing this world from them, and it is our responsibility to ensure that it is still there for them when it is their turn to toil their own soil.

So whatever blessings that you get today, make sure to share with another tomorrow. I assure you that God will bless you with more.