doubleOHthree

A Twinge of Guilt

2009-11-08T19:22:00.000-08:00

I have a twinge of guilt.

I am off for a tropical paradise, leaving my husband to manage the boys.

I'm not saying he can't do it. Not at all.

It's just that usually it takes BOTH of us to get everyone where they need to be. We have a change over of sports this week too. Flag football has ended and basketball, both NJB and school teams, are starting practice.

What I'm Getting Out Of, By the Numbers

6: Days I will be gone
14: Number of basketball practices
3: Number of soccer practices
1: Number of baseball practices
1: Number of soccer games
2: Number of baseball games
10: Trips back and forth to school in the car
6: Dinners I will not be cooking
8: Number of times the dishwasher will need to be unloaded
0: Number of "people" my family has working for us to help with all of the above jobs
500: Number of times I will not be asking someone to stop bouncing a ball in the house
15: Number of times I will not be yelling at someone to go to bed
0: Days that I will wake up at 6:30 am

Oh god, now that I look at this list I hope that my husband will not read this. At least not until my flight leaves. Maybe I have more than just a twinge of guilt. As a mom there is just no getting around it, the guilt is always there when we shirk our duties to do something for ourselves. It shouldn't stop us from taking a break once in a while.

So I am going to do my best to not feel the guilt, have a great time, and come back to a very appreciative family with a rested and tan smile on my face.

Not too tan, or I'll feel too guilty next time I see my dermatologist. Oh there it is again. Stop it!

Kale Chips

2009-11-06T14:35:00.001-08:00

This is not a cooking blog, but I must share this snack that has become a recent favorite in my house.

Who doesn't need an easy, quick way to get your kids to eat kale?

Kale Chips
recipe from Bon Appetit

Ingredients:
1 bunch Tuscan kale leaves (also known as lacinato kale in my area), rinsed, dried, cut lengthwise in half, center ribs and stems removed
1 tablespoon olive oil (I use garlic-scented olive oil)
kosher salt and fresh ground pepper

Preparation:
Preheat oven to 250°F. Toss kale with oil in large bowl. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Arrange leaves in single layer on 2 large baking sheets. Bake until crisp, about 30 minutes for flat leaves and up to 33 minutes for wrinkled leaves. Transfer leaves to rack to cool.

I have made these several times lately. My boys scarf down two bunches of kale made into these chips as an appetizer. I recently brought them to a cocktail party. They are vegetarian, gluten-free, dairy-free, and almost fat-free, pleasing just about everyone. If you have a three year old, you might want to rename this recipe Green Potato Chips, as one faithful reader of this blog did the other night. I hate to tell people how easy they are to make but I've had too many ask for the recipe so the secret's out.

Let me know how you like these.

Oversporting

2009-11-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

I am drowning in the deep waters of sports. I'm blaming my lack of ability to update this blog on that at the moment.

Select soccer, tournament baseball, flag football (two teams), competitive tether ball (ok that one's only during recess), basketball practices (five different teams, don't ask), lacrosse clinic, timed-mile running in PE, football games on TV, World Series games on TV which seem to justify staying up late to watch or at least listen to the games. And mom, I might want to try out volleyball. Sports Illustrated magazines everywhere.

AARRGHHHH!!!

And that's not all, it's the endless discussion that we must have about each of the above, the review of each play, the analysis of each game or practice, the details of each point scored or lost, what each player was doing and what they could have done better.

I feel like I am living each day in preparation for the sports; the laundry, the food, the trips to the gas station. The shoes, the balls, the constant organizing of the right equipment in the right place. My car and my husband's car both smell like locker rooms.

Yes, I am drowning. But my boys are quite happily swimming around in this sea of sports. Not literally, thank god. That is one sport we are not participating in at the moment. Shutter. Those weekend-consuming swim meets are a no go.

So while some parents might think we are nuts, and I wouldn't disagree, what I CAN tell you is my boys are healthy, they are having fun, and they are NOT out at the local elementary school on weekends experimenting with Malatov cocktails. Which some 13 year olds in my town are doing. They are NOT taking marijuana with them to the school fair. Which some 13 year olds in my town are doing. And they are not sulking and sitting around playing violent video games. They don't have time for any of that shit!

Oh thank goodness, a life preserver has been thrown to me. A trip with a girlfriend. And no sports for a few days. It just might save my sanity.

Here is a little test for you. How many pieces of equipment are shown in this picture? (Answer: 13) How many pieces of equipment are necessary but not shown here? (Answer: 5) Can you name them all? Can you organize them all? Can you clean them all? Can you find them all when no one else can?

Brace Yourself

2009-10-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

My oldest gets braces later this week. In anticipation of this teenage right of passage I have done something completely contrary to my personality.

I bought him a whole bunch of candy.

He doesn't even have much of a sweet tooth, but I felt like he should be able to eat a bunch of the stuff that will soon be forbidden fruit. I have this faint hope that he will get tired of those certain candies and not miss them for the next year or two.

So we have Starburst, Laughy Taffy, Airheads, gum, Sour Patch Kids and kettle corn around the house and his brothers think his getting braces might be the best thing that ever happened because MOM BOUGHT CANDY. I'm sure in the backs of their minds they are compiling a list of all the candy they want before they get their own braces. Damn, I think I've set a precedent.

And you must not know my boys very well if you have to wonder about Halloween coming up. No costumes yet but candy-trading negotiations reminiscent of Wall Street are starting: shares, unit trusts, derivatives, pooled investment products and bonds are being issued and discussed. Wouldn't surprise me if someone broke out a spreadsheet to track it all.

Future Careers

2009-10-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

What if one of my sons ended up as an artist someday?

What if he became an artist like this?

It would be really cool but what if as a mom I had to describe to people what he does for a living?

I was thinking of selling all those little Lego people on ebay but I may have to reconsider JUST IN CASE.

A Test of Patience

2009-10-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

I was looking over the contents of my son's Friday Folder last night. You know, the folder that comes home on Fridays with his completed work and tests. One test caught my eye, a vocabulary test where he missed five of the questions. My youngest son certainly has a pretty good grasp of the English language so I looked over the questions he missed.

Here is one of them:

A person needs be patient in order to

a. eat dinner.
b. wait for a delayed train.
c. play in a band.
d. go into a hospital.

My son chose a. And let me tell you, this shows me he absolutely understands the meaning of the word patient.

In his lifetime of experience, he has had to be patient many many times to eat dinner and has never once had to be patient waiting for a train. He has had to wait at crowded restaurants, while ravenously hungry, to be seated. He has had to wait, while ravenously hungry, for me to finish cooking dinner.He has had to wait, while ravenously hungry, for food that has been ordered in a restaurant, to be served to the table. He has had to wait, while ravenously hungry, to eat his food until others at the table have been served. He has had to wait, not hungry but perhaps bored, to be excused from the table until others are finished with their meal.

Another question he missed:

Good baby-sitters are always alert. In this sentence, alert means

a. watchful and wide-awake.
b. fun and energetic.
c. not easily upset.
d. trained in first aid.

He chose b. I absolutely know that he would say a good babysitter needs to be energetic and fun and that means they are alert, awake. He would say, why would they need to be watchful?? That's not a good babysitter in his mind!

Yes, for a fourth grade boy, it requires much more patience to eat dinner than wait for a train. And an alert babysitter is fun and energetic, not watchful.

Are these tests written with fourth grade boys in mind??

Record(er) Breaking

2009-10-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

My youngest son has just passed a milestone that has been memorable for each of my boys. He has reached the point in 4th grade when he starts playing the recorder. It's a shrill, squeaky little thing which has the huge benefit of at least keeping the mouth and fingers of the player busy while assaulting the ears of anyone within 3 miles.

Like my other two boys when they first got their instruments, my youngest is obsessed with his recorder and practices a lot. Unlike my other two, he has the few simple songs he's learned so far down pat, they actually sound good, and he is trying out playing them with feeling. This is after just a couple days of playing. He is even experimenting with trying to play Smoke on the Water on the recorder.

I think he might have a talent for the thing.

That is what I tell myself as I wake up at 6:30 am to the sound of recorder music echoing around the house. I hope he learns another song very soon or I'm going to go insane.

Oh Boy It's Time

2009-10-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

We got the word today. Says the orthodontist to my oldest son: IT'S TIME!

Here is where we see the transformation from cute boy to awkward teenage look with acne and braces. Here is where we start making payments to the orthodontist, and by the time we are through, we will have contributed a large sum of money toward his children's college educations.

To my son, it's no big deal. Many of his friends have braces already. To me, a much bigger deal, I'm not sure why. Maybe because as a teenage girl I was always horrified at the thought of kissing a boy with braces on. I don't think I ever did. You see, I never had braces myself, I just remember the slobbery metallic smiles of friends, with ropes of spit clinging to those rubber bands, food stuck all over their teeth, the weird lispy speech caused by too many foreign objects in their mouth. I also remember the frequent garbage can dives to retrieve the retainers, often mistaken for Jolly Rancher watermelon candies. Ick ick ick. Yuck.

Maybe braces are better now. At least his teeth are not this bad.

Hello Forest

2009-09-29T21:12:00.000-07:00

The boys had Monday off school. We needed to take advantage of having no school and no sports commitments, a real rarity! We needed what the boys and I call an "adventure day" where we go and do something fun and adventurous together. We usually go alone but this time my oldest son brought a friend.

We headed up to Big Basin, where we went last year for a camping trip. This time, we did the big Berry Creek Falls hike, a strenuous 11.5 hike through the redwood forest. A solid 5.75 hours of brisk hiking with few breaks.

No cell phone coverage, no people, no video games. Just the forest and lots and lots of snacks.

All the boys, even my 9 year old, were impressive hikers. A few times they patiently waited for me as I made my way up the steep long slopes, and most of the time I was bringing up the rear. My oldest even said, "Mom, you are a trouper!" Oh please.

We all enjoyed the hike for different reasons. I enjoyed the quiet of the forest, the beautiful scenery, the clean air, and the chance to chat or just listen to the conversation. The boys enjoyed the challenge and they love, even crave, being in the forest. I really do believe it is just good for boys to spend time in the relative wilderness. They felt responsible and independent, carrying what they needed, reading a trail map, estimating distances, helping each other when someone fell, peeing on a tree, spotting poison oak. I really got the feeling they could have done the hike without me, until my youngest fell and scraped up his leg exactly at the point where we were furthest from the ranger station. Then they were glad I was there with my first aid kit and LOTS of bandaids. It was my youngest who was in reality the trouper, finishing the hike without complaining until the very last quarter mile, when I was tired and sore myself.

But at the end of the hike, they were not too tired to climb the root structure of an enormous sequoia that fell more than thirty years ago. I had to force them back to the car so I could sit down.

On Being Gay (Child's View)

2009-09-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

Shared by my nine year old recently:

"Mom, you know what would be good about being gay? You never have to go to the mall with your wife! And you can do manly stuff together like go dirt biking."

Other than stifle a guffaw, I wasn't sure how to react to that. There are just so many things to say, so many of them not appropriate for a nine year old level of understanding. So I just let it go. For now.

I'm not sure where the aversion to the mall came from. One thing's for sure, being gay does not give you a stay-out-of-the-mall card!!

Spare a Quarter?

2009-09-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

My son the quarterback. You have no idea how weird this is for me.

Will Work for Food

2009-09-24T14:34:00.001-07:00

Many of you may not know my assistant. He sleeps on the job but that's OK because I don't pay him much.

Again!

2009-09-24T14:09:00.001-07:00

IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!

Now I'm suspicious.

I can be patient and get the most out of this.

I wonder what he wants.

I hope it's not a car.

Dishing It Out

2009-09-23T23:05:00.000-07:00

Today was a historic day.

MY SON UNLOADED THE DISHWASHER WITHOUT BEING ASKED TO DO SO.

I'm still feeling rather faint from shock.

I can't help but feel we've reached some sort of milestone. And whatever it is, I know I did not personally reach this milestone until I was at least seventeen years old. At least. And he's not quite thirteen.

Do You Wine?

2009-09-17T22:36:00.000-07:00

We do. Quite a bit.

When my youngest son was in kindergarten, his class celebrated the 100th day of school. His homework for the celebration was to create something from 100 items we had around the house. I cast around for possible items: pieces of pasta, toothpicks, squares of toilet paper, nails, dust bunnies . . . it all seemed so usual, so I've-seen-it-before. Then I found the giant bag of corks. I have been saving them for some vague idea of a future craft project, possibly involving building furniture or an addition to the house. Seriously, I had a lot of corks. My son and I counted out 100 of them and it didn't even make a dent. Yes, I know you can now recycle natural cork at Whole Foods so stop it.

I gave him the corks and a hot glue gun and he went nuts. I still have the project he made.

He proudly carried it in to school, and only as I watched his backside round the corner, did I think about the fact that it just might not be a good idea to send your child to school with such a blatant example of your affinity for wine. Oh shit too late now.

Later that day the phone call came. "Umm, NICE project your son did for 100th day!" the Head of the Lower School said. I was horrified. I didn't even know her, she didn't know me, and now she has pegged me as an alcoholic mother. Oh great.

It turns out that the Head of the Lower School drinks her share of wine too and she actually thought it was funny that my son used corks. Whew.

Fast forward to 4th grade. We are at Back to School Night for the same son. The night has gone smoothly, we have met all the teachers, they are all fabulous, it's an idyllic place, the weather is warm. My husband and I are waiting outside the last classroom of the night, science, chatting with other parents. Suddenly the science teacher appears, heading straight for my husband and his name tag. "Oh you are R's dad! I have to tell you a funny story!"

Both my husband and I wince, our shoulders tense, and we look at each other with a smile/grimace that means, "Here we go again." We have heard many funny stories about our youngest son, not all of them funny, certainly all of them utterly unpredictable.

So in fourth grade this year, my son will be studying the oak woodland environment, in which the school is located. In class they were discussing oak trees and the many uses they have. Climbing, building, wine barrels. Apparently my son then informed the science teacher "some chardonnays are aged in stainless steel, not all of them are aged in oak." Or something to that effect. She thought it was quite funny and unusual. Thank goodness she wasn't around when my son was in kindergarten. She is definitely smart enough to make some kind of connection there.

Smarmy Glam Out, Tough In

2009-09-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

Clearly I need to get rid of that smarmy glamorous Teen Beat looking header on my blog. It just doesn't reflect reality any more. I need one featuring sports, muscles, and sweat. If I can get all three boys in the same place at the same time with good lighting, I will craft something.

Plus, I just found out my dad hates that picture. Yep, it's gotta go.

Muscle Man/Boy

2009-09-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

My oldest son, almost thirteen, said to me the other day, "Mom, do you need help carrying that? Do you want me to use my awesome man-muscles?"

So I looked at him that night. I mean really looked at him.

Holy shit, he does have awesome man-muscles. Or teenager-muscles.

This really freaks me out. This is my first baby. How can he look like this?

Field Trip Already?

2009-09-14T16:04:00.000-07:00

My sixth grader is off on a field trip already. Yes, we just started school and he has left today for five days in Yosemite to hike and a science-related curriculum. He packed his bag this morning before he left, just like his Dad does. I hate that. I have to be more organized ahead of time, but since HE had to pack, HE got to pick when to do it.

He got to school, met up with friends, and had not a trace of nervousness or trepidation getting on the bus. I wasn't surprised. He loves anything related to being outside, the forest, and camping. He is a very independent guy.

He is almost like a teenager. The almost part being the footed pajamas and the teddy bear that went into the suitcase. And the fact that he does not care what his friends might think about either one.

A New School Year

2009-09-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

This morning, my middle son, eleven years old and a new 6th grader, was up early. For the 100-pound, almost five foot tall kid who is almost visibly growing, that is unusual. He loves his sleep, and likes to sleep in. It takes him a while to wake up in the morning. Sports-talk radio blares from his room for at least 20 minutes before he can rouse himself.

Last night was my birthday, and we were all up a little late eating an insanely rich dense chocolate-chocolate cake. So to see him up early, diligently studying at the kitchen table just made me smile. He is really getting a good start in school this year!

My husband came to the kitchen to say goodbye to him before leaving for the office. "Hey buddy, what are you studying there?" he asked, looking down at his paper. My son galnced up and said, "The football plays, Dad. I've got to memorize them."

My husband then gave me the goofiest smile, a combination of pride, amusement, and I-can't-believe-you-are-surprised-he's-obsessed-with-sports-don't-you-have-that-figured-out-yet look.

Apparently my son is taking his job as quarterback of the 5th/6th grade team very seriously. And apparently, the dad who never got picked to play the quarterback as a kid is enjoying himself a bit. I've got to get that book back out, Football for Dummies. I'm not totally sure what the quarterback exactly does.

Not Quite on the Ball (Yet)

2009-09-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

I thought I was mostly ready for the boys to back to school.

Then I had one of those "am I a bad mother?" thoughts this morning as my middle son, who lives for PE, is running out the door for carpool and shouts, "Mom, I need my PE uniform today!" Mad scramble as all three boys shoot up the stairs and through the house, doing an all-out sprint for their rooms. I know the shorts are in the washer. Been there for three days. Ooops. For god's sake, keeping track of school uniforms, baseball uniforms, soccer uniforms, and PE uniforms in addition to all the regular laundry is really testing my sanity. Not my brain, just my sanity.

Thank goodness it's going to be hot today. Those wet PE shorts should feel great.

It's Back to School!

2009-08-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

I AM SO EXCITED!!

Not to be too eager or anything. But it is back to school and I am more ready than ever for the time of year that brings the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and new backpacks. And time to have coffee with my friends.

It has been a topsy-turvy summer of fun, stress and changes.

Can we please get on some kind of schedule of regularity?

Can we please get a guide on how to deal with a teenager? A teenager, which I believe is the antithesis of regularity? Who is this almost thirteen year old with changing facial structure and body, acne (mild thank god), Converse tennis shoes with neon laces, and a girlfriend?

And who is his brother, full of testosterone, sass, and sheer muscle mass, obsessed with sports but able to cry hysterically over a deer with a broken leg?

And can someone PLEASE freeze the fourth-grader who out of the blue decides he wants to hold my hand once in a while?

You know you are getting old when your kids have a way more fun summer than you do, and you look forward to the start of school so you can sit in quiet for an hour with time to think.

Travel Blog

2009-08-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, follow along with our family RV vacation adventures at On The Road with T & A.

Boys Cubed

2009-07-26T00:08:00.000-07:00

I am a geek at heart. As a kid, I took great pride in being able to solve the Rubik's Cube. The Rubik's Cube was introduced in 1980, when I was thirteen, just a few months older than my oldest son is now.

I've had a Rubik's Cube around the house for years, hoping someone would pick it up and play with it. When my oldest son was at camp recently, I threw it in a care package that I mailed to him. Several days later when I talked to him on the phone he told me he was working on it, and then the next time I talked to him, he was very excited to tell me he could solve it now. I secretly rejoiced: another geek!

When he came home, the Rubik's Cube hardly left his grasp and he was determined to teach my middle son how to do it too. Now, I have two children who can solve the Rubik's Cube!

I wondered, would my youngest attempt it?

He looked at me and said, "Mom, the only way I am going to do a Rubik's Cube is to move all the stickers."

OK, I get it, cool people who are not geeks find other ways to deal with solving the cube.

Coming Soon to A Blog Near You

2009-07-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

One mom.

One dad.

Three boys.

Two hundred square feet.

Two weeks.

Oh yeah, and add in the good friends, a family used to staying at the Four Seasons, bent on seeing the "real America."

Am I f**ing crazy?

Sparkling Clean and Shiny

2009-07-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

In a fit of enthusiastic enterprising and a desire to feed their candy habit, my boys decided to wash my car for cash. Needing a car wash anyway, I was happy to pay them for the task. I figured it would keep them busy and they would have more fun than watching the cars get washed at the car wash. (Yes, the days when I would take them to the car wash and they would stand transfixed for hours are over). With caked-on bug splatter from two recent drives to Southern California and back (that's 1,400 miles), they had their work cut out for them.

I told them to use just a bit of the blue Dawn detergent and go for it.

An hour later my car was incredibly clean, sparkly and shiny. I was amazed at how well the bug stuff came off. The windows were very streaky but this is the most challenging part of washing a car, even for professionals. I could live with the streaky windows, an improvement over the nose art from the dog.

I felt almost guilty for paying them only $5 each.

Not to worry, they negotiated and cut a deal with Dad to wash three other cars for $40 each. What a sucker.

I have to say they improved with each car washed, and the windows were not even streaky.

Then as I was walking in the door of the house the next day, I noticed my bottle of JetDry Rinse Agent sitting there. Odd. Why would it be anywhere other than under the kitchen sink? As I picked it up, I noticed the blue liquid, exactly the same color as the Dawn detergent.

Yes, my car was washed with JetDry. It did a great job of dislodging cooked-on bugs. The car is very very shiny and I am certain that food will not stick to it.