Double Yellow's Musings

Hiatus

2006-03-08T23:00:00.000-08:00

Shit has hit the fan. Its gonna be a while...

Singapore MRT Anagrams

2006-02-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

I read in Boing Boing, many city got anagram of their transit system. London lah, Toronto lah, Amsterdam lah... Singapore also must have one. We is the Singapore, we is the global city, we is the kiasu

I dun have ~~skill~~ time to put everything on a map. So here is the list of anagrams for all the MRT and LRT stations including the ones still in the pipeline.

Boon Lay – Y No Bola (thanks Winged Densetsu)Loan Boy
Lakeside – Sake deli, Sleek Aid, lake dies
Chinese Garden – Adherence Sign, Chained Greens, Crashed Engine
Jurong East – Just Orange, Ornate Jugs, Jute Sarong
Clementi – Me Client
Dover – Drove
Buona Vista – Avian Bouts
Commonwealth – Calm Hometown
Queenstown – New Quonset
Redhill – Drill Eh (thanks Winged Densetsu), Ill Herd
Tiong Bahru – Got Rub in Ah (thanks Winged Densetsu), Tough Brain
Outram Park – Rum Prata OK
Tanjong Pagar – Apt Nag Jargon
Raffles Place – Elf Race Flaps
City Hall – All Itchy
Bugis - Big Us
Lavender – Ever Land, DNA Lever, Elder Van
Kallang – Lank Gal
Aljunied – Laid June, Nude Jail
Payalebar – A Bare Play,
Eunos – Sue On
Kembangan – Me Nag Bank
Bedok – Bed OK
Tanah Merah – Ah Earthman, Tahan Harem
Simei – I Semi
Tampines – Mean Spit, Spin Team, Main Pest, Span Time
Pasir Ris – Sari Rips
Expo – Ex-Op
Changi Airport – Pirating Roach, Aching Airport
Bukit Batok – But Batik OK
Bukit Gombak -
Choa Chu Kang – Hack Chao Gnu, Hack An Cough
Yew Tee – Wet Eye
Kranji – Ink Jar
Marsiling – Main Girls
Woodlands – Downloads
Admiralty – Malt Diary, Tidy Alarm, Tri Malady
Sembawang – We Bans Mag
Yishun – I un Shy
Khatib – Bah Kit
Yio Chu Kang – Hacking You
Ang Mo Kio – Main Go Ok, I Among Ok
Bishan – Banish, Bash In
Braddell – Drab Dell,
Toa Payoh – Pay Too Ah
Novena – An Oven
Newton – Not New
Orchard – Char Rod
Somerset – Mere Toss, Tree Moss,
Dhoby Ghaut – Doughy Bath
Harbour Front – Fourth Barron
China Town – Ninth Waco
Clarke Quay – Lacy Quaker
Little India – Inlaid Title
Farrer Park – Far Err Park
Boon Keng – Knob Gone,
Potong Pasir – Pop Roasting, Poor Pasting, Poop Ratings, Opposing Art, Pisang Troop
Woodleigh – How I Ogled,
Serangoon – Orange Son, Noon Rages, Ones Organ, One Sarong,
Kovan – Van Ok
Hougang – Hung Ago
Buangkok – Bang UK OK
Sengkang -
Punggol – Long Pug
Pioneer – I Opener, Ripe One
Joo Koon -
South View – Shout View, Thou Wives
Keat Hong – Gate Honk
Teck Whye – Ketch Yew
Phoenix – Hope Nix
Ten Mile Junction – Jet Mount Incline, Inject Lemon Unit, Joint Mice Tunnel,
Bukit Panjang – Punjab Taking, Junk Paint Bag,
Chesnut – Unchest, Ten Such
Hill View – Will Hive
Hume – He Mu
Anak Bukit – Kabuki Ant
Dunearn – Dear Nun, Ran Nude
Sixth Avenue – Vein Exhaust
Eng Neo – No Gene
Botanic Gardens – Carbonated Sign, Ignore Cabstand, Acrobat Endings, Botanic Dangers, sanctioned garb,
Whitley – the Wily
Kampong Java -
Beach Road – Head Cobra
Petir - Tripe
Bangkit – Big Tank, Knit Bag
Pending – Ping End
Fajar -
Segar- Gears, Rages
Jelapang – Jag Plane
Senja - Jeans
Soo Teck – Toe Sock
Sumang – Guns Ma
Nibong - Boning
Samudera – Dream USA, Urea Dams,
Punggol Point – Pop Nut Ogling
Teck Lee – Leek Etc
Sam kee – As Meek
Damai – A Maid
Oasis – Is Sao
Kalaloor - Lala Rook (thanx Elvin), A Roll Oak
Riveria – I arrive
Coral Edge – Caged Role, Cereal Dog, Large Coed,
Meridian – Dear Mini, Main Ride,
Cove -
Compassvale – Salsa PC Move, plasma coves
Rumbia – Bum Air
Bakau – A Baku
Kangkar -
Ranggung – Gang Rung
Renjong -
Tongkang – Gang Knot
Layar – A Lyra
Fernvale – Fan Lever
Thangam – Hang Mat
Kupang – Pang UK
Farmway – Warm Fay
Cheng Lim – Cling Hem
Bartley – Let Bray
Tai Seng - Teasing
Dakota – Data Ok
Mountbatten – Meant Button
Stadium – Smut Aid
Nicoll highway – Oh Aching Willy
Promenade – Roman Peed,
Bayfront – ban Forty
Landmark – Damn Karl
Cross Street – Escorts Rest
Esplanade – Sandal Pee
Bras Basah – Abash Bras
Shenton way – Anyhow Sent, Wants Honey, Honest Yawn,
Telok Blangah – All Bathe Kong, Lethal Bang Ok, Long Lake Bath
Labrador Park – Dark Rap Labor
Pasir Panjang – Sparing Japan (thanks Hafiz for pointing out the earlier error)
West Coast – State Cows
Kent Ridge – Gender Kit, Get Kinder,
One North – One Thorn, No Throne
Holland Village – Held Vanilla Log
Farrer – Far Err
Bukit Brown – Bub Tinwork,
Thomson – No Moths
Marymount – Many Tumor
Lorong Chuan – Churn Lagoon

Singapore Forum on Politics 2006

2006-02-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

I went to the Singapore Forum on Politics 2006 today. Organized by the Political Science Department of National University of Singapore (NUS) and supported by the Konrad-Adenauer-Stiftung (KAS) foundation. It was the title of the forum that made me attend the event in the first place – The (In)Significance of Political Elections in Singapore

Saturday morning. 9 AM. The only place I wanted to be was in bed. But this forum was interesting enough for me to trudge my way to NUS. On the bus, there were a number of students in school uniforms headed that way and I was impressed. But alas, my happiness was short-lived. They were all going for an audition or something.

After registration, I entered the lecture theatre which after a while felt like Antarctica. All the speakers were gathered in the front, socializing with each other. Everybody in the front two seats seemed to know everybody else. After a while it looked like the media was there too. More hugging and photographs.

After an introduction by Dr Colin Duerkop from KAS, the chair for the forum, Dr Kenneth Paul Tan began proceedings.

The first speaker was Dr Gillian Koh. She spoke about political legitimacy, the notion of contestability and political socialization. According to Koh, the policy agenda of the PAP government need not be seen just as a 5-year cycle for gaining electoral votes but one that covers bread and butter issues such as jobs, wages, cost of living as well as social inclusion. The basis for political legitimacy in Singapore is growth, meritocracy and social inclusion, social cohesion and deliberative decision-making. For Koh, the PAP cares for each and every voter.

With assistance of numbers, Dr Koh showed that the number of contested seats in Singapore has declined from 1984 (49 seats were contested) to date (in 2001, 29 seats were contested). With the help of Dilbert analogies, which I think the audience didn’t really understand, Dr Koh elaborated that electoral boundaries in Singapore does not really matter because it is so small.

Dr Koh stressed on the issue of political socialization. She said that the tastes of Singaporeans have been shaped for 40 years. In Singapore, it is bread and butter issues that matter more than self-actualization. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is what prevails here. Concluding with possible sources of change in the current political climate, Dr Koh spoke about changes in the PAP internal logic or Singaporeans taking a liking to post-materialist values (heritage, environment and the arts), foreigners in Singapore and lastly, political imagination

Overall, Dr Koh set a good base for discussion. Although her presentation was a bit academic (not that I am complaining), she clearly identified reasons why the PAP has been in power since independence and if things needed to change, it was up to Singaporeans.

The next speaker was James Gomez. He spoke at length on the Workers Party’s recently released manifesto. For Gomez, the current political situation in Singapore is depressing. The number of Singaporeans who get to vote during general elections is decreasing and the system favors the ruling party. In an effort to make democracy more ‘meaningful’, he said that the manifesto provided Singaporeans with a choice and an environment where competition is real.

It was a good thing that he spoke about the Workers Party proposal. Coz I haven’t read it. I only know about the timebombs. Yes, I am that apathetic. Anyways, the proposals in the manifesto included abolishing the elected presidency, setting up of an independent election commission, electoral boundary changes to be announced one year before elections, removal of the Group Representative Councils (GRCs), right to vote for all overseas Singaporeans, proportional representation as well as amendments to the constitution over the right to vote.

The talk was fine up to this point. Gomez went on to speak about activities of the Workers Party in the different GRCs and this is where things began to not only get confusing but also boring. Everyone in the theatre was looking at everyone else and there were a few yawns. Overall, Gomez’s presentation was essentially from the point of view of the Workers Party. It did not offer any independent analysis (not sure how it could have in the first place) and the presentation could definitely be spruced up.

The third speaker on the panel was Viswa Sadasivan. I think he rescued the audience from the monotonous presentation of Gomez. I was impressed with the humorous way Sadasivan went across making his point. He was glad that he was not part of the mainstream media today because of the way they report political activities. He said that there was a lot of gap between where the media is today and where the OB markers are. Journalists today, he said, do not know why they joined the profession and they do not know how the push the envelope. To them, it was increasingly, just a job.

He spoke about Rajaratnam and the PAP to make the point that there is space for more engaging political discussion in Singapore. It used to be a lot more in the 1980s. Going back to the media, he said that there was no leadership or professionalism today. He gave three recommendations. First, he would like to see more critical commentaries in the newspapers. Second, better and fairer coverage of the opposition (the media can take much better photos he says) and finally, a lot more forums and debates. In short, Sadasivan felt that there was a lot more room for integrity and ingenuity in the Singapore media.

The next speaker was Chandra Mohan. He spoke on Singapore’s constitution. He prefaced his comments by saying that the PAP government was run very well, by good and intelligent people. But there needs to be more tolerance towards defamation. According to Mohan, power in Singapore still lies with the people. The question is how to increase interest in politics. He offered a few suggestions – junior parliament and more deliberation on political issues.

He too called for a separate committee to decide on when elections are held. He also supported the NMP’s role today. He said that Singaporeans need to make use of any platform that is given to them. He went on to speak about the history of our Parliament house and also said that the people should still vote even if there is no contest to the Presidential office.

He peppered his talk with some anecdotes which I think the audience found entertaining, especially one about an elephant in front of the old Parliament house – thankfully it was not white, he said. Unfortunately, he ran out of time and had to stop before he could talk on our cabinet members.

The penultimate speaker was Dr Geh Min. She said that although she is in her 50s, she has never voted in Singapore. She addressed three questions in her talk. Are the elections in Singapore significant? Do we have the government we want? Is political choice important? And her emphatic answer to all three questions is Yes!

Dr Geh Min went to elaborate on the queries she posed. She said that there are three key players in an election – the ruling party, the opposition and the electorate. She said that the PAP government likes to take the moral high ground. It is very competitive and there is a lot of healthy competition between PAP members. According to Geh Min, the fact that we have elections is good because it makes the PAP government listen beter.

She decided to take an ad hoc poll from the audience about whether people thought we had the government we wanted. Less than 50% of the people put up their hands. Dr Geh Min said that the PAP government is remaking itself to be the government we want. She believes that it is a consultative government now. As the president of the Nature Society in Singapore, Geh Min said that the government was listening when it came to Chek Jawa. The U-turn involved a lot of money but the government still listened and made the right choice.

Dr Geh Min concluded by saying that political choice is important in the long-run. Although she or any of the other speakers did not elaborate on what they meant by long-term, she said a healthy society can only come about through diversity and a lack of choice would eventually be detrimental to Singapore.

The final speaker was Dr Kirpal Singh who spoke on alternative models to the electoral system. He said that Singapore lacks dreamers or even if it has some of them, they are not recognized and rewarded today. He stressed that the Singapore dream should not be deferred and if we do so, there is a chance we may explode one day.

He threw up the idea of whether the U.S. form of democracy is better suited for us than the British model. Giving an analogy about Microsoft being the dominant player in the software market, Singh said that too much of a monopoly can lead to unfair practice. He was quite critical against people in Singapore complaining behind the veil of anonymity. He said that it is important for Singapore is the long-run for people to take responsibility for what they say.

Singh also raised the question about the number of times opposition leaders are invited to state functions. He said that this should be made a practice and even suggested that leaders of political parties in Singapore should be paid salaries. Singh highlighted the difference between legitimacy and credibility and he said that the latter is necessary for the growth of a strong, viable Singapore.

Singh also said that creativity can only be there when there is space for an alternative voice. If it is always about conformity and consensus, then we are heading the wrong way. He said that this change can be brought out only by a confident government and our current government is a self-assured one. Speaking on post-electoral democracy, Singh said that the PAP government should be embarrassed with the current state of political affairs. He concluded by saying that a level-playing field would be a sign of maturity.

DISCLAIMER: The above is my interpretation of what transpired at the forum. Although I have tried my level best to put forth the views of the speakers, I cannot give any guarantee on the accuracy of the above statements. Please use at your own risk. If something has been wrongly attributed to any of the speakers, please let me know and I will arrange to correct it immediately.

P.S: I also have the Q &A session written down but will transcribe it only if people are interested and I recover from my carpal tunnel syndrome.

S. Rajaratnam Passes Away

2006-02-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

Former Singapore Deputy Prime Minister, S. Rajaratnam has passed away. Just 3 days shy of his 91st birthday, he died of heart failure.

Sinnathamby Rajaratnam was born on 25 Feb 1915 in Jaffna, Sri Lanka. He grew up in Seremban and Selangor and studied at Victoria Institution in Kuala Lumpur and then Raffles Institution in Singapore. He worked for The Straits Times as a journalist and decided to join Singapore politics in 1959. He held positions of Minister of Culture, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Minister for Labour, Second Deputy Minister of Singapore and Senior Minister.

Lets not forget the old guard…

Channelnewsasia Report
Channelnewsasia Obituary – there is a place to send condolence messages and also view a video
Wikipedia Entry

Licence Fees and Foreign Dramas

2006-02-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

More numbers again. Not 1, Not 2, not even 3 but a whopping $111,000,000 was collected by the gahmen for TV and radio licence fees during the last financial year. See here.

This money has been used to fund 3000 hours of public service programmes, including National Day Rally and National Day broadcasts. And 8% of the money goes towards foreign movies and dramas. Hang on... 8 percent? That is $8,880,000 !!

Oh well, I guess it’s not much to carp about since those are about the only times when we don’t get public service programmes :)

2.16m Eligible Voters in Singapore

2006-02-18T02:00:00.000-08:00

An interesting piece of news with which we can probably do some even interesting analysis later… :)

Nearly 2.16 million Singaporeans are eligible to vote in the coming general election. Their names are listed in the Registers of Electors which have been certified by the Elections Department on Friday.

Registers for the 23 electoral divisions are now open for inspection. This can be done at the Elections Department in Prinsep Street and 104 Inspection Centres located in community centres and clubs.

Singaporeans can also check the registers on-line via the Elections Department website at www.elections.gov.sg. The registers contain a total of 2,158,439 names. Among them, 857 are registered as overseas electors. They will be able to vote at eight Overseas Polling Stations located at the Singapore diplomatic missions in Canberra, Beijing, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Tokyo, London, Washington and San Francisco. - CNA/ch

Copyright © 2006 MCN International Pte Ltd

Touché, mTouche

2006-02-17T19:00:00.000-08:00

Singapore consumers are up in arms again. A company called mTouche billed some mobile phone customers $1 for a SMS about Chinese New Year. Our mainstream media don’t seem to have picked up this story. Maybe hor, they are preoccupied with the inclusive-beyond-expectation budget :)

Anyways, a few people wrote to the newspaper about the extra charge and guess what, mTouche published a ‘clarification’ in the Class Ad section of Today today.

mTouche Pte Ltd, a premium mobile aggregator for business-to-consumer SMS, would like to make the following clarification

Wah! Clarification also must say you are the best issit? Next time hor, can do even better.... mTouche Pte Ltd, soon to be Fortune 500 company offering 100% dividend to all shareholders and looking to expand into the Chinese and Indian markets, would like to make the following clarification

.... erroneously billed $1 due to technical error

Aah! I get it. The unsolicited SMS was not wrong at all. It was the stoopid computer that screwed up your marketing strategy. So if we consumers want to sue someone, we should take legal action against the CPU and monitor. Thank you hor...

mTouche has immediately terminate the shortcode and service of MyGlobal Fun and have also sought the help of all the mobile operators to reverse the charge to all affected mobile phone users

What in the world is shortcode? Tsk tsk, techie jargon gets you nowhere dude. You sent us unsolicited SMS thinking we were bodohs right? Well, we are. And hey, it isn’t enuf if you refund the $1 you know. We are Singaporeans, must offer us free unsolicited SMS during Chinese New Year for the next 5 years. And an extra SMS during National Day for the bad English.

mTouche, I have a suggestion for you. Quickly change your name to ‘New mTouche’. You have a better chance of being forgiven :)

Valentine’s Day History & the Uniquely Singaporean Version

2006-02-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

On Feb 14 every year, people scramble to get buy flowers, book restaurants, go for holidays, exchange gifts, yadda yadda yadda – all in the name of expressing their love on Valentine’s Day. Of course, there are people who do better things on this day coz they are single (and loving it!) or they find the whole concept glorified (and the prices of flowers and restaurants exorbitant!). Irrespective of whether we celebrate Feb 14 or treat it as just another normal day, I think many of us don’t really know the history and significance of this day.

Valentine’s Day or more rightly St. Valentine’s Day is celebrated on Feb 14 every year in honor of Saint Valentine. According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, Saint Valentine could have been either a priest in Rome, a bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) or a martyr in the Roman province of Africa. How in the world did a priest, bishop or a martyr become a symbol of love? Ah, this is where history turns murky. So Valentine’s Day could be for all you know a myth that has survived through the generations.

The relationship between St. Valentine’s Day and romantic, sentimental actions was first recorded in 14th century England and France. But in 1969, the Catholic Church removed St. Valentine’s Day as a public holiday from its calendar. I doubt if this had anything to do with the Vietnam War, probably more with the hippie culture. But the rebels ‘prevailed’ and Valentine’s Day is still commemorated today.

Despite the Western and Christian leanings of the romantic Feb 14, other cultures too have their own conceptions of this day. The Chinese Valentine’s Day or Qi Xi falls on the seventh day of the seventh month on the lunar calendar. And so for 2006, it is actually celebrated on 31 July. The Japanese too have their indigenous notion called Tanabata and White Day analogous to the Korean Black Day. The Brazilians have a conception of Boyfriend/Girlfriend Day on June 12; a similar one for the Colombians on the third Friday and Saturday of September.

In Singapore, we are looking for new creative ways to boost retail sales and the Feb 14 Valentine’s Day nicely falls during the ‘offpeak’ period. Every hotel, florist, cruise ship operator and jeweler marks up prices so that when Singaporeans publicly articulate their love, they will spend more and boost the economy. We is Singapore, we is pragmatic.

But since we are Singapore, we also cannot lose out to other countries. So I think we need to have a local conception of Valentine’s Day. What better way than to have a St. Gahmen Day where we all profess our lurve to our gahmen! On this day, all bus and cab prices will be marked up 10% and GST will be increased to 50%. How? :)

Local Media wins News Entertainment Award

2006-02-13T23:00:00.000-08:00

Everybody clap! Our local media behemoth, Mediacorp, has won some awards which it can’t but gloat about.

Mediacorp Radio was awarded the best entertainment radio website. I’m not really sure if this was a scoop because Mediacorp practically runs every known radio frequency I listen to....

The bestest part concerns Channelnewsasia, part of Mediacorp News. Channelnewsasia was the most visited website under the .... [drumroll] .... Entertainment Television category. Ahem, when your biggest news channel gets voted for entertainment, I think it’s a sign :)

Keep up the good work fellas.... your news reports are giving Hollywood a run for its entertainment $$ and of course, ensures that I get my daily dose of humor :)

The bestest way to fight Depression

2006-02-12T18:00:00.000-08:00

I was wondering why I had not smiled even once the whole of last week. Instead of paying the doc for his holiday to some exotic destination or helping pharma companies ignore bird flu in Asia, I think I may have found the bestest way to fight depression under ONE dollar!! And the answer lay at your doorstep... everyday at 6 AM.

There is no better way to fight depression than to read the local newspapers :)

I have one week of newspaper reading to catch up.... I can feel myself smiling even as I write this :p

NUS MBA Ranking Declassified

2006-02-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

After I wrote yesterday that the NUS MBA ranking was top secret, it looks like our media finally got permission to declassify it...

And guess what, not only did they reveal that NUS was ranked 92nd on the list, it was also divulged that they got it wrong when they said that NUS was on the list for the first time :) Apparently, NUS was ranked 89th in 2001 and 99th in 2002.

Oh well, in publishing the correction, I guess there was no space to write about why NUS was not on the list in 2003, 2004 and 2005....

This information is pending declassification :)

NUS MBA Ranking Top Secret

2006-02-03T23:00:00.000-08:00

The headline screamed, “NUS course on honour roll” and the subheading said, “University's MBA programme among top 100 in the world: Financial Times”.

NUS course on honour roll
University's MBA programme among top 100 in the world: Financial Times
Friday • February 3, 2006
Lin Yanqin
yanqinl@newstoday.com.sg

NUS Business School's MBA programme has just received a big boost from the Financial Times (FT), which ranked the full-time programme among the top 100 in the world. The programme was also ranked in the top five in terms of International Mobility, ranking below only Switzerland's IMD, Trinity College Dublin, France's ESCP-EAP and London Business School. The International Mobility ranking traces the employment movements of alumni after they graduate. The high ranking means that NUS' graduates are able to find employment almost anywhere in the world, and the MBA is well-recognised internationally.

NUS also ranked highly in areas such as international experience that students receive during their education, value for money, and percentage of women faculty and women students. This is the first time NUS made it into the top 100 of the FT's MBA ranking exercise, which is into its eighth year. The dean of NUS Business School, Professor Christopher Earley, is delighted by his school's latest accomplishment.

"This is an outstanding achievement, especially when one looks at the sheer quality of the field, which includes almost the entire who's who of top business education all over the world," he said.

The Financial Times MBA 2006 list is topped by University of Pennsylvania's Wharton Business School followed by Harvard Business School, and Stanford Graduate School of Business. The ranking is based on areas such as the alumni's career development, the diversity of each school and its programme, and each school's research capabilities. Proud of the particularly high ranking of NUS Business School for niche areas even when it was compared to the top US and European schools, Prof Earley said: "This is an affirmation of how we are constantly responding to specific market needs and interests." He added: "At the end of the day, our real competitive edge will come from not only a solid overall ranking but also from being among the very best in the world for specialised areas."

France's business school Insead, which has its Asian campus in Singapore, is ranked eighth. The other Asian universities that made it to the list are China European International Business School (21st) and Hong Kong University of Science and Technology Business School (47th). For the full Global MBA rankings 2006, visit rankings.ft.com/rankings/mba/rankings.html.

According to the article, the Asian universities that made it to the list are China European International Business School (21st) and Hong Kong University of Science and Technology Business School (47th). But no matter how many times I read the piece, I could not figure out what was the NUS’s position on the list. I think it must be top secret, that’s why they refuse to tell us :)

However, a quick visit to the Financial Times website (courtesy of the article), tells me that NUS’s ranking is… [drumroll] … 92nd!! Oh, now I understand why the article left out the rank. We did not beat the Chinese and Hong Kong universities. I guess it sounds better that our MBA is among the top 100 than to say it ranks 92nd :)

Our newspaper also said that,

The [NUS MBA] programme was also ranked in the top five in terms of International Mobility, ranking below only Switzerland's IMD, Trinity College Dublin, France's ESCP-EAP and London Business School.

What it did not tell you was that France's ESCP-EAP, which was number 3 on the International Mobility scale, it was actually ranked 99th (read: below NUS) in the overall rankings!! So I’m not sure if this International Mobility thingy reflects anything meaningful at all … :)

Lost your phone? Lose your car

2006-02-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

I must say, we come up with some of the wackiest innovations in the world. Ok, the Japanese ones are one up on us but we are giving them a run for their er, wackiness :)

For a long while I thought we were aiming to be the waste hub of the world with interesting toilet innovations. But to remain competitive in the global economy, it looks like we have moved up the value chain. The new innovation is a service which helps you track, unlock and immobilize your car via your handphone.

Interesting. According to a driver who was interviewed said,

When I was in Malacca last week, my wife could track where I was over the computer.

Er, I’m not sure how many people really want their spouses to track them :) Moreover, an employee of the Singapore company said,

In the event that a car owner doesn't pay two or three instalments, the finance company can recover the vehicle via the computer, or it can immobilise the car anytime

Now, now… if I were a car owner (I’m not) then why in the world would I pay for a service through which my finance company can immobilize my car? Or even if the finance company pays for this service, why would I even agree to buy such a car?

That’s not all...

I guess our reporters were too busy to ask the company as to what would happen to your car if you happen to loose your handphone? Heheh... your guess is as good as mine :)

Aiyah, all you brilliant people go and invent something useful can? Like a device built into the steering wheel that will slap the driver every time he/she cuts into other people’s lane or parks in a place meant for the disabled :)

Happy Chinese New Year!

2006-01-30T07:00:00.000-08:00

Here’s wishing all readers a happy and prosperous Year of the Dog!

The long weekend has been a good break so far but today was off to rather somber start. Why you ask? Coz there was no The Straits Times or Today to make me laugh :)

Anyways, here are the qualities of people born in the Year of the Dog

People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people’s confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit.

Now I'm not sure how many of those qualities are really true when you compare it to the celebrities born in the Year of the Dog.

Ava Gardner, actress
George W. Bush, President of the United States
Bill Clinton, Former President of the United States
Claudia Schiffer, supermodel
George McGovern, former presidential candidate
David Gilmour, guitarist & vocalist of Pink Floyd
Andre Agassi, professional tennis player
David Bowie, British Rock and Roll Musician
Madonna, singer, actress, author
Laura Bush, First Lady of the United States
Michael Jackson, singer, actor
Daniel Libeskind, architect
Donald Trump, Real Estate Tycoon, Host and Executive Producer of "The Apprentice"
Christopher Lee, actor
Steven Spielberg, director, producer
Sylvester Stallone, actor
Howard Shore, Canadian film musical score composer
Elvis Presley, singer
Viggo Mortensen, actor
Winston Churchill, former British prime minister
Herbert Hoover, Former President of the United States
Eric West, singer, actor
Uma Thurman, actress
Dakota Fanning, child actress born on February 23, 1994
Paul Butcher, actor from Zoey 101
Gary Oldman, actor, director, producer
Carleo Boza, voice actor
Mother Teresa, Albanian Catholic nun

Coz on one hand, you have George Bush and on the other Mother Teresa. No matter which way I look at it, I can never seem to put both of them together on any list :)

Oh and my wish for the New Year is that Singaporeans will treat their pets better… :)

Thank You Mr. Newspaper

2006-01-28T15:00:00.000-08:00

Today, one of our newspapers decided to make its readers happy by publishing only good news.

Such a charitable thought should be thanked. According to survey done by them, 89.5% of Singaporeans are happy. If that’s the case, the Happy Issue is probably meant for those 10% of people who ~~dared to say~~ said they were unhappy.

Anyways, I want to let our darling news media know that they need not try too hard to make me happy. They just have to keep doing what they do and it will put a smile on my face. Like publishing this letter which praises er, themselves :)

From here

Looking forward to Today

Weekend • January 28, 2006

Letter from Andy Heah

THANK you for being my constant companion in Australia where I am pursuing my undergraduate studies, and at home in Singapore where I am currently visiting.

Many thanks also to the everyday unsung heroes who have delivered the "hardcopy" version of Today to my doorstep in Bishan at 6.45am sharp, 6 days a week, rain or shine, since 2003.

Sometimes, some mysterious neighbour pinches my copy of Today if I wake up a little late, and leaves me frustrated for the morning. This has prompted me to set my alarm clock to ring at the delivery time so that I can get my copy before someone else does.

Still, I do not complain as I can get the afternoon edition of Today at the Shenton Way office where I am now an intern, or at the nearest 7-Eleven store.

I also avidly download your daily PDF version, forwarding it to my friends overseas to generate interest in the issues of the day, which may then be followed up by a blog or forum posting. In a way, your paper has been a catalyst in setting us thinking critically.

I have discovered a fondness for your Voices section, enjoying especially the articles presented in Focus on the Family, I Say, Face in the Crowd and Coffee With sub-sections. Other focus sections I have found valuable are Eat Out, News Comment, Succeed and CareersToday.

I am also heartened that you have chosen not to simply plagiarise blogger's entries like your competitor has, but instead have persuaded the doyens of the local blogging community — such as mr brown, Mr Miyagi and Izzy — to contribute articles.

This regard for bloggers, I reckon, is the envy of established papers elsewhere and the global blogosphere. Thank you and keep up the good work in the competition for eyeballs!

I never quite realized that one of our newspapers was now “the envy of established papers elsewhere and the global blogosphere”… oh well, today was meant to be a Happy Issue afterall :)

Introducing the Soccer Pitch GRC

2006-01-26T06:00:00.000-08:00

Continuing the Uniquely Singaporean tradition of handling neighbor troubles, someone wrote to the newspaper yesterday about noise from soccer courts....

This letter is also a typical case of Singapore’s national hobby – compraining. He is a witness to teenagers hanging around everywhere – “sheltered walkway, playground, void deck, badminton court, pavilion, event hall etc”. He has supposedly also seen these teenagers “vandalise the facilities, shout vulgarities, misbehave with their female friends”.

And did this letter writer attempt to talk (and I don’t mean yell) to these teenagers? No! He instead decides to write to the newspaper and tells the gahmen – “I’ve done my part. Now it’s your problem”.

And his solution? Have the soccer pitch relocated!!!!

Yeah, let’s relocate soccer pitches from around the island to one area. And so that this locality accurately reflects Singapore culture, let’s call it…. [drumroll] …. Soccer Pitch!! Hey, we have done it before – calling Marina Bay as er, Marina Bay and more recently, Budget Terminal as ahem, Budget Terminal. Let all the vandalizing, vulgarity shouting and misbehaving teenagers go to this area allowing their fellow countrymen (like the letter writer) to live in paradise.

During election time, Soccer Pitch can be magically transformed into Soccer Pitch GRC. The winner can be chosen through a competition, ~~possibly one of the very few in coming GE~~ – who can shout Hokkien expletives, spray paint, frolic with his girlfriend and bend the ball like David Beckham all at the same time. Interesting, no? :)

P.S: I think some people need to be dropped off deep in the Borneo jungles. But then, they might just find access to the internet and write to the newspapers from there - and comprain on the lack of toilet paper or cable television.

Mr. Bomb-astic comes to Singapore

2006-01-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

Ever since I read this interesting piece of news....

(The Sunday Times, 22 Jan 2006)

.... for some reason, I can’t seem to get this song out of my head....

Mr. Low-er Low-er
they call me Mr. Bomb-astic
say me fantastic
touch me in my back
they say bomb
bomb
bomb

Mr. Low-er Low-er
they call me Mr. Bomb-astic
say me fantastic
touch me in my back
they say bomb
bomb
bomb

Only in Singapore can you build a time-bomb with no chemicals whatsoever :)

Uniquely Singapore Guide for Neighbor Quarrels

2006-01-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

Going by letters to the newspaper over the last week,

From here

And here

…. it looks like Singaporeans have neighbor problems. In order to resolve this issue, Singaporeans follow a distinctive guide.

- make louder noise than your neighbor
- close all doors and windows and make your flat sound-proof
- comprain to the police
- comprain to your town council
- comprain to your MP
- write a letter to the newspaper

Everything except talking to the neighbor and attempting to resolve the problem.

Somehow, if a neighbor thinks he is Nelly till wee hours of the morning or Wayne Rooney in the soccer court below your block, it’s the gahmen’s problem. They need to do something about this menace. The law-abiding Singaporean will inform the gahmen of the problem, maybe even offer some ‘uniquely Singaporean’ suggestions like fining noisy neighbors… once done, its not his/her problem anymore.

Maybe hor, Singaporeans need to start a petition to ban neighbors :)

Did Race really matter? – Part III

2006-01-21T18:00:00.000-08:00

For some reason, our media lurves to identify a person’s race for the fun of it. This is not the first time. This time, a man drowned near the Asian Civilization Museum a few days ago...

The deceased, a 27-year-old Indian man, was swimming wearing only a pair of boxer shorts early yesterday morning when he disappeared into the water.

Now, now... how exactly did the fact he was ‘Indian’ matter? Can only an Indian man drown in the Singapore River?

Well, here’s another one last week... a freak accident where a fridge fell three stories and hit a woman on a scooter.

The mini fridge, measuring 1m by 30cm by 30cm, rolled off a coffeeshop awning before hitting a Malay woman riding pillion on her husband's scooter in the carpark.

Again, does it matter that a Malay woman was riding pillion on the scooter? Would the fridge have not hit her if she was of some other race?

The identification with race only seeks to distinguish the victim as belonging to a certain community. This is ok if race does have something to do with the whole issue. The unnecessary use only seeks to deepen stereotypes about a particular community, something we can all do without.

Detractors will tell you that the use of race is only for description purposes. Really? How is this description attained? By the color of the skin? By the fact that someone wears a tudung, cheongsam or sari? How shallow is that? Racial identity is something that goes beyond physical descriptions. In a world of so many mixed marriages, the pigeon-holing of people into racial categories is passé.

I’ve also pointed out an earlier instance where our media have unnecessarily used race when reporting on PSLE results. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – removing race is a first step towards removing racism.

Uniquely Singaporean law for Bloggers

2006-01-19T23:00:00.000-08:00

Wif all these stoopid bloggers getting into trouble for defamation and sedition ~~and in the process keeping the Singapore authorities busy~~, there is a need to discuss the nexus between law and blogosphere.

This one not very simppel ok. We must be creative and come up with a uniquely Singaporean way of helping deviant bloggers. Here goes...

I think the courts in Singapore need to set up what can be creatively called Bloggers Court. In this court, all kings of blogger related cases can be heard – defamation lah, sedition lah, bloggers who attempt impersonate other bloggers, bloggers who anyhowly revoke votes etc etc. As a rule, all these bloggers need to given access to a lawyer whose ONLY aim is to expose the annual salaries of the person suing them :) This will put a lot of bloggers at ease....

Even if the blogger is convicted of the online crime, I think the blog should not be shut down. Instead, in a uniquely Singaporean manner, we should allow the blog to continue by adding the prefix ‘New’ to the blog name. You know, 'DoubleYellow' becomes ‘The New DoubleYellow’ :)

Surely, this is a win-win situation, no? :)

Rain or Shine, Singapore grows

2006-01-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

No matter what nature throws at us, our economy goes well. Shining sun, we do well. Pouring rain, we also do well. We is the Singapore!

Out of the gazillion things happening in our country, our media found this extremely ‘important’ piece of news. One of the taxi companies here, Comfort Delgro experienced a record number of calls for booking their taxis in a single day. 75,000 calls on 12 Jan 2006.

Wow! Am sure this is a world record. No? At least an Asian record. No? At least a Southeast Asian record. No? I mean, this has to be an achievement in some sense, correct or not? If not, it’s very unlike our media to even bother reporting such stuff :)

I think our journalists are very busy. When reporting the above article, they must not have had the time to enquire about

- the average number of calls Comfort gets in a day
- whether all the 75,000 calls came from different people
And most importantly,
- the number of those 75,000 calls who actually got cabs

Maybe our media thinks such questions are not important. I mean, the only thing that matters when elections are round the corner is that our gahmen-linked companies are doing well, rain or shine. Correct or not? :)

Say Hello to Media Astrology

2006-01-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

Our media has acquired a new skill – astrology. On Tuesday, 10 Jan 2006, the TODAY newspaper, which is run by Mediacorp, reported that the most likely candidate as the co-host for Singapore Idol 2006 is Daniel Ong.

And guess what, a couple of days later, the new co-host of the show is … [drumroll] … Daniel Ong!! The TODAY newspaper then reported (12 Jan 2006) that they had "predicted" that Daniel Ong would be the co-host.

I wouldn’t have give much thought about this forecast ~~coz Singapore Idol sucks~~ if it were not for the fact that Singapore Idol is shown on Channel 5, which is run by ... [drumroll] ... Mediacorp!!.

Interesting. Very interesting. Maybe we intend to become Astrology Hub soon?

How we can become World Beaters

2006-01-10T07:00:00.001-08:00

In a HDB flat not so far away....

Father: Son, come here. I bought something for you.
Son: Yes Dad
Father: Here, this is for you

Father gives son a globe

Son: Thanks Dad. I’ll put it on my desk.
Father: No son. I want you to hit, punch and bang it.
Son: What?
Father: Yes. That’s about the only way you are going to be a world beater!

As if it were not enough that our local media keeps comparing us with other countries, Newsweek man Fareed Zakaria has done it too. The only difference in the latter analysis is that we are not the bestest in the world. He compares Singaporean and American students and asks why despite us doing so well in exams, we fare poorly in the ‘real world’.

The ‘real world’ according to Zakaria seems to be narrowly (and implicitly) defined as the world of ‘science’ and ‘business’. I don’t even want to dwell on the vast fields he has left out, ~~not that Singaporeans have excelled any better in those~~. But what is lacking in Zakaria's assessment is causality - academic excellence in school does not necessarily translate into success in the world of 'science' or 'business', at least in Singapore's context.

In order to succeed in the world of science, there needs to be a passion for blue-sky research and a Phd is a must. The ‘problem’ with getting a Phd is that it takes a lot of time, commitment, money and passion to achieve. There are many Singaporeans with Phds and the zeal for science but once these people come back to Singapore, there is not much scope for blue-sky research. Why? Because getting the Nobel Prize is not one of our objectives. Read the following comment carefully and no prizes for guessing who made them....

'In Singapore, we have a small population, we have no such luxury to do basic science. The key is to be practical. We cannot have everything. By nature, I want to see some outcome...I want something I can feel and touch, and knock.'

'My job is to create jobs. It's not just to create great science and great things. Don't forget Nobel Prizes don't create jobs. Research, to me, is a means to an end. The end, to me, is to attract and encourage local companies and MNCs and create jobs for all Singaporeans, from the CEO down to the cleaning lady.'

From here....

Let me clarify. I am not criticizing the person who made the above comments (scared, kenna sue). I am merely stating that there is no ambiguity as far as Singapore's objectives in science research is concerned.

So the main area for research here is when it can be converted to $$ and this leads us to the ‘business world’. Doing well in Math, Physics and Chemistry Olympiads have NOTHING to do with creating a product to sell in the market place. Succeeding in business requires a totally different skill-set. Journalists thrive on correlation but when causality is brought into the picture, they dont have a story.

Anyways, I’m probably gonna buy a globe this evening :)

Wazzup with Cheapo Ads?

2006-01-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

Looks like it’s that time of the year. Lotsa cheap ads on TV. Courts has this ad where they apologize for low budget ads and supposedly offer high quality deals.

I don’t understand this marketing strategy. They are saving on ad costs to offer better value on their products? Right, and I was born yesterday :) Coming to think about it, this might backfire in the future. Coz if their logic is right, a non-low budget ad from Courts anytime in the coming years will not be offering the bestest value :)

One of the worst ads ever..ever..ever made with a celebrity has to go to Tiger Beer with Jessica Alba. You can watch it here. Don’t ask me why, but I decided to pay a visit to Tiger Beer’s website and chanced upon an online poll.

The choices are hilarious! Maybe they took a cue from the options that Singaporeans have during election time :)

Talking about cheap beer ads, have you seen the new Carlsberg ad featuring Adrian Pang? Yuck! I know it’s for Chinese New Year and all, but does it really have to be that repugnant?

I Lurve my Gahmen Campaign

2006-01-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

Lotsa ppl say that when the gahmen calls for the updating the electoral register and the electoral boundaries are ~~redrawn~~ released, elections are round the corner. These so-called Singapore politics experts are missing an important piece in the puzzle.

The National Library Board has launched a campaign (yet another testament to our campaign hub status) called the I Love My Library.

This is not an ordinary campaign. It has come about because Singaporeans have this hobby of ripping book pages, napping in the afternoons and screaming loudly on their mobile phones. But this movement needs to be seen as part of a bigger picture. Come Election Day, we do not want Singaporeans oversleeping, tearing up their voting papers and shouting inside the election booths, do we?

I suspect that the timing of this campaign is part of the larger I lurve my Gahmen strategy :)

Update: If you thought I was kidding about voter antics on election day, check this out. The Elections Canada website informs its citizens that the ballot is not a McDonalds burger :) Found via Boing Boing