Dear blank, please blank.

Dear little brother who opens my mail,

Dear little brother who opens my mail,

Jokes on you! It's tampon samples!

Sincerely, older sister.

Dear homophobic boss,

Dear homophobic boss,

If being gay is such a disease, can I call in sick for the rest of my life?

Sincerely, I quit.

Dear judgmental people,

Dear judgmental people,

Why yes, I did just leave the high school parking lot blaring the Pokemon theme song out of my car.

Sincerely, don't be hating, you know your jelly.

Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

"I was at work all day!" is not a valid excuse to make me do stuff for you.

Sincerely, I was at school all day. At least you get paid.

Dear three impossibilities of the world,

Dear three impossibilities of the world,

Can't count your hair, can't wash your eyes with soap, and can't stick out your tongue and breathe out of your mouth...

Sincerely, put your tongue back in, you look like a dog!

Dear women,

Dear women,

While I'm making my own sammich, would you like one too?

Sincerely, on your side.

Dear Powell Middle School,

Dear Powell Middle School,

So do your cheerleaders cheer for PMS?

Sincerely, cause that would be awkward...

Dear McDonalds,

Dear McDonalds,

Are you seriously asking if I have any job experience?

Sincerely, who exactly do you think I am?

Dear teacher,

Dear teacher,

Please understand that I don't call you "Professor" to show respect. I do it because it makes me feel like Harry Potter.

Sincerely, entertained.

Dear guys at the beach,

Dear guys at the beach,

Just because you're wearing shiny sunglasses doesn't mean I can't tell where your face is pointed.

Sincerely, boobs much?

Dear crush,

Dear crush,

No, I'm not Facebook stalking you. I'm doing character research in case I get to make a movie of my life and you're are in it.

Sincerely, creative stalker.

Dear Prince Charming,

Dear Prince Charming,

What were you gonna do if i didnt wake up?

Sincerely, Sleeping Beauty.

Dear handicapped drivers,

Dear handicapped drivers,

You get choice in parking spaces, not the side of the road you wish to drive on.

Sincerely, almost died.

Dear girlfriends everywhere,

Dear girlfriends everywhere,

Please don't say "I'm not good enough for you."

Sincerely, we picked you for a reason.

Dear douche bags who used to pick on me in High School,

Dear douche bags who used to pick on me in High School,

Revenge is so sweet.

Sincerely, put your hands behind your back...