In my defence, I have been rather busy

I married the very lovely Ruth on October 21st last year. In the Las Vegas Hilton. And oh my goodness, it was fabulous.

We stayed at the Luxor the first week we were away. Dr Jan’s Tip From The Top - don’t. The Luxor was a really depressing place OK, the pyramid is a fantastic building, and inside it’s an enormous atrium - all the rooms are around the outside. There are many buildings within the pyramid, which look good when you’re down on the floor walking around. However, when you are walking to your room along a long balcony overlooking them, all you can see is the dirty, scuzzy back walls which are not even clean, let alone decorated.

There are no elevators, they have ‘Inclinators’ instead, which slide up and down the inclined walls in the corners of the pyramid. Unfortunately the inclinators look exactly like elevators when you’re in them and I can’t help feeling they missed a trick by not building windows in to the cars and shafts.

We flew down to San Diego for the weekend and stayed at the Hyatt Regency Mission Bay, which was completely marvellous in all respects The main thing it did was make me realise how depressed I had become staying at the Luxor.

We flew back to Vegas on Sunday and saw the Jersey Boys show, which we both enjoyed a huge amount. Then we checked in to the Las Vegas Hilton. Due to a cock-up with our booking we had been upgraded for our entire stay to a suite. Except that actually it was two suites in one We were on the 25th floor, right at the end of a corridor. We had a suite on each side of the passageway, but there were double doors which could be closed across the end of the corridor, effectively making the last 10 feet of the corridor our entrance hall

We’d seen my parents before we went to San Diego, but most people started arriving on Monday, which was a really exciting moment for me. Suddenly everything stopped being a never ending list of things to be done and started being a fabulous time with fabulous people.

Tuesday we had arranged a limo trip of the strip for everyone. Given that there were 16 of us altogether, we had 2 limos. So, naturally, there was a Boys limo and a Girls limo The trip was surprisingly good - we stopped off to see the erupting volcano at the Mirage, the “Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas” sign as you enter Las Vegas (where we saw Elvis) and then the dancing fountains at the Bellagio. We ended up at the Freemont Street Experience, which was excellent.

Wednesday we got married (Email me if you want links to the photos)

Thursday we were taken on a surprise trip in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon. It was absolutely magical and we all had a fabulous time. Even though I’d flown over the Grand Canyon in a helicopter on a previous trip, this one was made special by the people I was with and the fact that we stopped for a champagne picnic near the bottom of the canyon.

Friday we flew to San Francisco for a week’s honeymoon. We stayed at the Sofitel San Francisco Bay, which is nice, just not anywhere near San Francisco

We flew to and from America with Virgin Atlantic on their Premium Economy service. Well worth the extra money, and a fabulous experience.

Since then we decided to move house (to High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire), and we’re still in the middle of packing, moving and unpacking more stuff than you can reasonably shake a stick at.

Previously on Twin Peaks I was with Virgin Media. I had a fibre-optic cable in to the house which provided cable TV, phone and broadband services. The broadband ran at a nifty 20Mbps (20 mega bits per second) for downloads.

In my new abode I’ve had to resort to ADSL. So now I have a shiny new BT Home Hub, which seems to manage about 4Mbps most of the time.

Cool things which I like about the BT Home Hub:

• it looks cool
• it has a VOIP phone handset which charges up when sitting in the integrated cradle
• I’m automatically a member of BT FON

Let me tell you about FON The idea is that a tiny bit of your bandwidth is made available on a completely separate WiFi network which is open to anyone (with valid credentials) who happens to be within range of your WiFi router.

In return for providing this service for people in my area, I can connect to any other FON hotspot in the world (and there are many) for free. So if I’m out and about with my smartphone and I notice I’m in range of a FON hotspot, I can log in with my BT Broadband credentials and browse away. Magic

BT FON is enabled by default on all new BT Total Broadband packages which include the Home Hub.

As you can see from the FON website, it’s not just BT who are doing this. I think FON started in Spain (although I’m less sure of that now) and have expanded from there. Their routers are called ‘La Fonera’. Which is nice

So, if your stuck with ADSL, BT seem to be a reasonable option to take.

It’s a fabulous word which just invites you to create lots of new words in a similar vein. I’m just in the middle of some prime quality bloggage, for example.

I’ve just seen a tweet from Saint Stephen of Fry:

Good guestage today on QI: Bill Bailey, Danny Baker & Jeremy Clarkson as well as @alandavies1 of course

which pleases me greatly

Everything about the show was completely fabulous! I haven’t had such a good time for ages

Of course I loved the outrageous costumes, the fantastic footwear and the marvellous men, but for me, the star of the show was the bus. When the three main characters paint the bus, it becomes pink by virtue of a huge matrix of pink LEDs (Little Electric Doobreys) lighting up as the brushes pass over the surface. And this is just one of the amazing things which happen to the bus

The show follows the story of the film fairly closely, which is quite an impressive feat given that the film is essentially a road-movie.

If you get the chance, go and see this show. It’s fun, the outfits are incredible, and the songs are predominantly well-known disco classics. Chaps, get in touch with your feminine side and strut your funky stuff - and if you forget your feather boa you can get one in the foyer!

I haven’t just topped up my Fabulousness Quotient for the year, I’ve got enough in stock for the next ten years

Previously on Twin Peaks, the battery had become completely flat, mainly due to a complete lack of driving activity. I have been in the habit of taking it out for a drive every month or so to keep everything in working order and the battery topped up. Unfortunately, it was a bit longer than usual between drives, and when I went to open the car recently the battery was completely exhausted.

On the C43 AMG the battery is in the boot, partly to improve the balance of the car, but mainly because there’s no room left under the bonnet once you’ve squeezed a 4.3 litre V8 in there. Normally in this situation I’d pop open the boot using the special button on the key-fob and attach the battery charging device directly to the battery, leave overnight and try again in the morning.

However, in this instance, because the battery was completely without life, none of the buttons on the key-fob were functioning. I reverted to backup manual procedures and used the key to open the driver’s door. There is a switch on the centre console which opens the boot remotely, but unfortunately it’s electrically operated. It is at this point that I discovered that the manual lock on the boot lid was corroded beyond the point where it could be operated. Boo!

I spoke to the always excellent George Fraser, who revealed that under the bonnet on the passenger side, near the bonnet hinge there is a small black plastic cover which, when opened, reveals a fairly substantial electrical connection to the battery. Hurrah!

I connected the battery charger and was then able to use the interior switch to open the boot. Unfortunately, the alarm siren was also activated, so I removed the charger. Now the boot was open, I re-attached the charger directly to the battery and turned it on. Although the alarm siren was re-activated, I was assured by the owners handbook that opening the car using the key-fob control would silence it. That turned out to be a lie. The handbook also mentions that putting the key in the ignition and turning the ignition on will silence the alarm. That also turned out to be a lie.

So, with desperate measures called for, I jump started the Beast from the Xantia. I’m extremely pleased (as are my neighbours) to say that the alarm eventually fell silent. In retrospect, I suspect that the alarm sounds for 30 seconds and then resets, and until I started the car it hadn’t been on for 30 seconds consecutively.

Having successfully started the Beast, the only thing to do then was take it out for a drive. So, just a quickie, about 30 miles or so. Now I’ve re-attached the charger and will try it again tomorrow.

Later…

I drove the Beast in to work today and it was fine. I pumped up the tyres (the fronts were down about 5 pounds, the rears somewhat more) and filled up with fuel. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to drive! You can fairly fling it around corners with no problem. And there is always a mountain of torque on hand. Driving at 70 in the Beast feels like 40 in most other cars. 70 is not even half v_max (it’s electronically limited to 155mph or 250kph) and it feels like it just wants to leap ahead all the time. You have to be very restrained to keep at 70

So, now I need to get it serviced and MOT’d (what a strange expression - “I’d like a Ministry Of Transport for my car please”). Then it’s ready for a new owner

I’ve recently discovered http://www.openstreetmap.org. It’s a collaborative wiki-style map of the entire world. Google maps (and pretty much every other variety available on the web) are very restrictive in terms of what you can do with them. They have to be, because they are, in turn, restricted by their licence agreements with the suppliers of the map data.

OpenStreetMap is a free map which anyone can update. Go and search for your house now. If you create an account, you can then update the map. There are several tools available, both downloadable (the excellent josm for example) and on-line (the potlatch editor). I’ve mainly been using potlatch. It will show you aerial photo images from Yahoo maps ‘underneath’ the map, similar to the Google Maps hybrid view. This means that you can simply ‘trace’ the roads and other features from the Yahoo images, which seems to be acceptable use. If you have a suitable GPS-enabled device you can record ‘trails’ and upload the data. Then you can trace your GPS trails to create roads and other map features.

The road I live in was completely absent from the map, so I’ve added it in, along with some other missing local roads. I used my Nokia N95 phone with the very excellent Nokia Sports Tracker application to generate the GPS trails. Then I was able to email the generated .GPX files directly from the phone to my PC. From there I uploaded the files to OpenStreetMap and used them in the potlatch map editor to create the roads on the map.

Even if you don’t have access to GPS equipment, it’s still very easy and useful to update road names (and possibly numbers) for features you know well and are sure about. The main caveat is “don’t use any existing maps as a source”, otherwise you’ll almost inevitably be infringing copyright.

All in all, a very interesting and worthwhile project in my opinion

In no particular order:

• the cigarette lighter socket is underneath the handbrake, which means it’s difficult to plug in to and so far from the windscreen that you can’t use a satnav unit without an extension lead.
• The gearbox is amazingly clunky. Thinking back to previous Vauxhalls I’ve driven, they’ve all had clunky gearboxes, and using those as a base line, the Zafira is actually an improvement. Maybe driving the Nissan Qashqai has just spoiled me
• The indicator stalk is annoying. It doesn’t stick - the stalk always returns to the central position. If you move it up or down to the first ‘click’, you get 3 flashes of the indicators. If you move it up or down to the second click the indicators flash until you flick the stalk the other way, or you finish turning a corner. Whilst this sounds fine in theory, in practice you find that sometimes you only get to the first click when you think you’ve got to the second and then when you go to cancel the indicators what you actually do is start them on the opposite side. And if you try and cancel those, you get them on the original side again. Which is extremely frustrating. I have seen Vauhall cars before indicating one side then the other, then the first side again on more than one occasion
• The wiper control is similarly annoying for the same reason.

How depressing must it be to be any kind of designer for the Zafira? “We’re trying to design a vehicle whose main quality is ‘mediocrity’”.

In contrast, the Ford Mondeo was a marvellous car The indicator stalk works exactly as you expect it to, the cigarette lighter is in an ash tray in the dash, ideally positioned for satnav use, and the gearbox was a delight to use. Huge numbers of extra points were scored for having a very effective cruise control, an electrically heated windscreen and a 2 litre engine. Because it’s a saloon car, the aerodynamics at the back of the car mean that above about 30 mph the rear screen is kept clean of rain and road spray, in contradistinction to the Zafira which has a much more vertical rear window which becomes dirty at all speeds.

Now that I’ve driven the Mondeo, I’d like to revise my opinion of the Zafira - it’s just rubbish. I appreciate that these two cars are aimed at very different market segments, but the Mondeo gets pretty much everything spot on - it feels like a high quality product and it’s a joy to drive, whilst the Zafira is just disappointing in so many ways.

In summary:

Vauxhall: Boo!

Ford: Hurrah!

I kicked off the season with Aladdin at the New Victoria theatre in Woking. I went with a whole bunch of people from work and some friends and had a rather jolly evening out

Bradley Walsh was excellent as Wishee Washee, and I particularly enjoyed the Genie of the Lamp.

I was reminded of a previous version of Aladdin which I was involved with when I used to work at the Beck Theatre in Hayes. Derek Griffiths was Ebeneezer, and he was just fantastic! “The lamp boy, the lamp! Get me the lamp!”

bins/binns n.¹ [1930s+] 1 glasses, spectacles. 2 binoculars. 3 the eyes. [abbr. SE binoculars]

I’m pleased to report that I’m the proud owner of a new pair of spectacles.

I booked an appointment at the shiny new Harefield Opticians. This is a business run by a husband and wife team, and from my experiences, the emphasis is firmly on customer service. Excuse me if I start sounding like a press release, but I was very impressed

David performed the eye test with an extremely well equipped and high-tech setup. For the first time ever I had the back of my eyes photographed, which was fascinating.

Normally the one thing I hate about eye tests is when a jet of air is blasted in to your eye to ‘test the pressure’ (I’m not entirely sure exactly what that phrase means in this context), but David has a nifty gadget which means he doesn’t need to do that. Instead the only sensation I had was of my eye lashes being brushed, which is far more pleasant

Historically, I’ve been short-sighted, which means my eye muscles are working too hard and over-focussing. The result of this is that I can see things close to me very clearly, but the further away things are, the less clear they are.

As most people age, their eye muscles become weaker, which means they can’t focus as well as they used to. This is long-sightedness, which means things far away are clear, it’s close-up viewing which is difficult. Hence people of a certain age holding books and magazines at arm’s length in a effort to read them.

So, predictably, my eye muscles are weakening with age which means that my sight is actually getting better. My previous glasses had too strong a prescription for the current condition of my eyes, which made my eyes tired more quickly and which meant that often I was looking over or under the lenses because it was more comfortable.

My new glasses are somewhat more high-tech than the previous pair. They have what are known as ‘anti-fatigue’ lenses, which, as far as I can work out, means they are very slightly vari-focal. Looking through the main part of the lenses is perfect for most things, but looking through the bottom of the lenses makes focussing on reading material much easier.

So now I can tilt my head until I get a clear view To be honest, it just happens automatically most of the time.

The other advantage of my new glasses is that they are frameless and the arms are made of very lightweight titanium. They are so light and comfortable that it’s quite difficult to know that you’re wearing them most of the time.

Everything about my experience with Harefield Opticians was excellent, from the first friendly greeting, to the final fitting of the finished glasses.

During my visit, I noticed that they had this very blog showing on one of the computers! That was unexpected!

All in all heartily recommended for anyone either in the area, or likely to visit at least once a year

I’ve been very impressed. There is an “Environmental Statement” 12-page booklet in your room which tells you how much the hotel has done to help the environment. So I can tell you that, for example, energy consumption in 2005 fell to 78% of the amount used in 2003. Similarly, water consumption in 2005 was only 70% of the amount used in 2003. Since they started “sorting waste” (that’s recycling to you and me) in mid-1997 they have reduced waste by 76%.

Having said all that, the thing which impressed me most was the room key. In most hotels this is a credit-card size plastic card with a magnetic strip down one side. The Hilton have something similar, but it’s made from “Nordic birch”:

And here’s the back:

The room itself is quite woody:

And the bathroom is simply marvellous:

Gosh, how cool is Flickr?

One evening I ended up at a busy restaurant (the Restaurang Aktiebolaget Kvarnen) looking for a table for one. After a few minutes at the bar, the waiter asked me and another chap at the bar if we’d mind sharing at table. So I had a pleasant evening chatting to a Swedish man. The food was excellent. I had “SOS” to start, which was 4 different kinds of herring with boiled potatoes and 2 kinds of cheese. The main course was almost like a reindeer stew, it’s on the bill as “Renskavspanna”. It was all excellent and I heartily recommend it

So, to sum up, I really like Stockholm. It’s a really interesting place composed mainly of lots of islands, the people are really friendly and speak good English too. The only snag is that everything is expensive. Thank goodness I’m on expenses