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Child Incest: The effects of molestation can last a lifetime!

Loren Due — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:03:58 +0000

The effects of child incest are devastating and profound. Most victims of child incest suffer from guilt, shame and post traumatic stress disorder which can trigger thoughts and feelings that transport the victim back to the abuse even later on in life. Although there are no hard statistics for how often child incest occurs (the shroud of secrecy means that most cases go unreported), it is known that 75 per cent of incest cases take place between fathers and daughters or step-daughters. When this happens, the mother is usually living in the home and aware of what’s going on, at least on some level, even though she may deny it.

Incest is a profound form of child abuse, and one of the most devastating effects of child incest comes from the confusing constellation of feelings it creates: the incest was bad and shameful, but the act itself—the attention, contact and fondling by an attentive parent—may have created sensations that made the child feel good. Due to this, a child of incest usually ends up with a strong sense of self-loathing and unworthiness.

Some of the symptoms of child incest include low self esteem, depression, developmental autisms (growth is often stunted at the time that the trauma first occurred), eating disorders, fear of doctors and dentists, thoughts that interfere with healthy behaviors and the inability to form intimate relationships with others or be authentic sexually as an adult because they have difficulty sharing intimate thoughts from sexual experience.

Most victims punish themselves unconsciously because they feel that they are intrinsically unworthy. As adults, they may choose spouses who treat them poorly, careers that do not fulfill them and make other choices that create a lifetime of suffering in big and small ways. Or they may go the other way and their status as a child incest victim may make them feel self-entitled. Some incest victims drown their past in alcohol or drugs. They may have borderline personality disorder, which is characterised by sudden changes in temperament and by the statement: “I hate you, but don’t you dare leave me.”

They are also at risk for post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression and phobias. Some become hypersexual as adults; while others are frigid and cannot let go with anyone, even a partner who they are beginning to trust in other ways. Their relationships with significant others tend to be dysfunctional because they have an underlying sense of mistrust for people, do not feel safe in the world and develop a secret self.

Whatever the symptoms, child incest destroys the innocence of a child and leaves a ruinous future in its wake. Therapy can help. However, the focus in therapy should be on learning how to get past childhood trauma and value the self. Many therapists do this by guiding adults to reconnect with the inner child, feel their openness, vulnerability and desire to be loved by her parents and recognise that they were not the bad one, nor were they responsible in any way for their sexual abuse. By learning to love and parent that little child who did not have parents who valued or cherished them, adult victims of child incest can heal from their experiences, own their power and beauty and consciously change their course in life.

(parenting-child-development.com)

Traits of families that tolerate incest and child abuse

Low level of appropriate touch: In the most toxic incest families all touching is considered taboo. Parents do not hug, caress, or cuddle their children, as normal families do. This is perhaps the most telling symptom of incest.

Poly-abusive: Sexual child abuse is just one of a number of abuses taking place in an incest family. There may also be a history of family violence, substance abuse, and other criminal activity.

Duplicity, deceit, collective secrets: The incest family hides its embarrassing secrets.

Rigid and tightly controlled: Incest families have rigid rules to prevent revelation of their secrets.

Demand for blind, absolute loyalty: Incest families usually have a domineering head of household who rules the family through force.

Poor boundaries: Disrespect for each others’ privacy, rights, and individuality is common in incest families.

Parents immature and inexperienced in life: Parents of incest families usually never become fully mature adults. Conflictual marriage or troubled divorce: In incest families, this may refer to situations where children are pushed into the drama between a conflicted mother and father.

No childhood for the children: Incest families are somber and strict places, where the authority figure (usually one of the parents) dictates behavior for everyone else. Rather than let children run around and play, they force children into a regimented routine.

Chaotic situations, traumatic stress: Incest often takes place in chaotic households, with unstable roots. These families may move often and lack connections to any one community. (surrealist.org)

Profile of the Sociopath!

Loren Due — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:23:19 +0000

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

Glibness and Superficial Charm
Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
Grandiose Sense of Self Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.”
Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Loveland police arrest Resurrection volunteer in child sex assault case!

Loren Due — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:42:09 +0000

Reporter-Herald Staff

Posted: 02/01/2012 10:11:01 AM MST

Robert Kirchhoff, a 54-year-old Resurrection Fellowship church volunteer, has been arrested and jailed in connection with a sex offense against a girl under 18.

Loveland police issued the warrant for Robert Kirchhoff’s arrest on Tuesday, charging him with sexual assault on a child and sexual assault on a child by a person in a position of trust.

Kirchhoff was taken to Larimer County jail where he is being held in lieu of a $100,000 bond. He is a Loveland resident and has been a children’s group volunteer at the church.

Police said the assault occurred at an earlier date and time in a Loveland residence, and that no information indicates the alleged crimes occurred at Ressurection Fellowship.

Anyone with information about the suspect or the case should call Detective Brandon Johnson on the investigations tip line, 962-2032.

INTERVIEW: Black Authors Network Show with Ella Curry of Dr Due

Loren Due — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 05:11:49 +0000

INTERVIEW: Black Authors Network Show with Ella Curry of Dr Due

Hello New BAN Radio Guest!

I’m contacting you today to invite you to meet with the BAN Radio guests and bookclubs on the air. We are celebrating the best books, authors, bookclubs and community leaders in 2012! You are one of those shining stars! During the live interview you can read from your book, invite your network to call in to speak with you and even hold contests on the show. We have the BAN Radio Show syndicated across the Internet, so your message will be shared with thousands!

Date and Time of Book Launch Party
* Dr. Loren Due, (Non-fiction) Tuesday, Jan. 31 at 8:00pm EST
Host: Ella Curry of EDC Creations and Black Pearls Magazine
BAN Radio Chat room: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network

Please join me by listening to the program live or schedule to listen to it at your convenience. Would you also tell your friends about it that I will be speaking candidly about Teddy Bear: Stolen Innocence.

Dr Due

Live Private Conversations! Coming Soon!

Loren Due — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 23:54:18 +0000

Live Private Conversations with Dr Due for “MEN” only! and Live Private Conversations with Prophetess Arjeana for “WOMEN” only coming soon will be an opportunity to join the conversation and chat annonimosly about issuses not commonly discussed.

These private conversations are geared to be a place where you can go and say what you feel and express what you desire to happen in your life.

Men and women will be able to let their emotions go, cry if they need to and let it rip with their tongue. No cussing- please!

Women will be able to say what they want and not be ridiculed.

We will share truth as we know it to be, not muzzeled, nor restrained because of fear!

Feel free to take advantage of the current offer: http://www.drdue.com

The Single Biggest Barrier to Resolving the Child Sexual Abuse Epidemic is Silence!

Loren Due — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 22:38:07 +0000

The Single Biggest Barrier to Resolving the Child Sexual Abuse Epidemic is Silence1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused before the age of 18

1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18

…………………………………………………………

30-40% of victims are abused by a family member

Another 50% by someone they know and trust

As you can imagine and have probably experienced for yourself, child sexual abuse is a difficult subject for most adults to talk about, let alone the children who are its victims. As such we must begin with the basics and break the silence. In doing so, we achieve five key objectives as follows:

We encourage community members to accept the fact that child sexual abuse happens in every community;
We inspire community members to make a personal decision to learn to protect kids by participating in prevention training;
We teach adults, teens and children “the language of abuse” and open the lines of communication;
We help survivors understand that they are not alone and support their healing journey;
And most importantly, we put offenders on notice that we’re watching and our kids are off limits!

In her book The Socially Skilled Child Molester, Dr. Carla van Dam states that “Child molesters [also] gravitate to those people who are most likely to be too polite to fend them off, too shy and anxious to tell them to leave, too dependent to be assertive, and too impressed by rank, power, status or money to do the right thing. Child molesters deliberately associate with adults who cannot address these issues. They seek out adults who worry about hurting people’s feelings. They charm adults who do not believe it could happen.”

Alleged victim says cries for help from Sandusky basement went unheeded!

Loren Due — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 01:11:38 +0000

By M. Alex Johnson, msnbc.com
One of the new alleged victims in the sexual harassment case against former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky told a grand jury that Sandusky’s wife ignored his screams for help while Sandusky raped him in the basement of their home.

Sandusky rearrested in Pennsylvania

The young man, identified in the new complaint as Victim No. 9, who is now 18 years old, said in his testimony that Sandusky attempted to rape him at least 16 times, sometimes successfully.

“I took it at first he was just a nice guy, like he went to church every weekend, his kids come over every once in a while and stuff,” the young man testified. “And after a while, like, he got used to me and stuff and started getting further and further wanting — to touch feely.”

The presentment says the contacts eventually “escalated to sexual assaults.”

The testimony is revealed in a new grand jury presentment that the Pennsylvania attorney’s general office released after Sandusky was arrested Wednesday on new charges of sexual abuse of two more young men.

The five-page presentment gives numerous graphic details of the alleged assaults on Victims 9 and 10, including allegations that Sandusky forced Victim No. 10 to perform oral sex on him.

Student organization looks to fight human trafficking problems!

Loren Due — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:01:35 +0000

Group holds campus awareness events, lobbies with state government to change legislation
Sara Dorn, Chief News Writer
December 04, 2011 According to a CNN estimate, between 10 to 30 million people are enslaved worldwide, and the University of Dayton New Abolitionist Movement organization is working to combat that crime.

Alex Kreidenweis and Alisa Bartel, both public administration MBA students, said they founded the organization through the human rights studies department in 2009 as undergraduates. Since that time, they have lobbied six times at the Ohio Statehouse, spread awareness at four local high schools, organized awareness events and collaborated with similar organizations in the Dayton area.

Kreidenweis said he and Bartel, both 2010 graduates, were compelled to start the group when they recognized the lack of awareness surrounding the issue, as demonstrated at the 2009 Dayton Human Trafficking Accords hosted at UD.

“What we found out was people were coming [to meetings at the accords] just to find out what trafficking was – policy makers, social service workers, police – people who should know what it is,” Kreidenweis said. “… And that was a critical breaking point.”

The U.S. Department of State defines human trafficking as “an umbrella term for activities involved when someone obtains or holds a person in compelled service.” Forms of trafficking range from debt bondage to child sex trafficking.

Bartel said the dynamics of a student organization are ideal for fighting human trafficking.

“We have a lot of resources on our hands through our professors, a network of people here and we’re young and passionate,” Bartel said. “If we use that passion and combine it with the resources we have and the expertise of our faculty, we can do a lot.”

Jemima Homawoo, a senior international studies and political science major, said she is a former vice president of the New Abolitionist Movement and has been a member since it began.

“I always kind of knew about human trafficking, but I didn’t know the extent,” Homawoo said. “I heard a trafficking victim from Dubai speak about her experience, and I actually lived in Dubai, so it was really powerful.”

Kreidenweis said the organization’s focus recently has turned to the 2011 reauthorization of the Victims of Trafficking and Violence Protection Act. Originally signed in 2000, the act appropriates funds to efforts to end international human trafficking. It is required to be reauthorized every three years by Congress.

The law has been amended in committees in both the Senate and House of Representatives and reported to both the full House and the full Senate as two separate bills: HR 2830 and SB 1301. If the majority leadership on either side does not introduce it for a vote, the program will receive no new funding, according to the text of the bills.

“We’ve organized a couple call-ins and write-ins to Congressmen,” Kreidenweis said. “We’re really just trying to get laypeople to write to their Congressmen.”

Kreidenweis said the organization’s first call to legislative action was lobbying for the passage of Senate Bill 235, an Ohio law that made human trafficking a felony when it was passed in December 2010.

Twice, professor Anthony Talbott’s political science course focused on human trafficking joined the New Abolitionist Movement to lobby at the Ohio Statehouse. The organization frequently works with the class.

“We formed NAM right at about the same time that SB 235 was proposed, so that gave us some great direction for action,” Kreidenweis said. “We started almost immediately and it was a critical piece. … It was one of our most prolific achievements.”

Kreidenweis said the organization meets every Wednesday at 10 p.m. in the Women’s Center in Alumni Hall, and new members are welcome.

The organization will be hosting a fair-trade chocolate sale in Kennedy Union Plaza this week through Friday, Dec. 9, according to minutes from a recent meeting.

For more information, contact the organization at moc.liamgnull@tnemevomtsinoitilobaweneht.

Teddy Bear: Stolen Innocence Released and Available!

Loren Due — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 02:56:34 +0000

Teddy Bear: Stolen Innocence Released and Available

Come On Man!!! The Word God teaches that we can keep our bodies under control!

Loren Due — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 22:35:26 +0000

Another COGIC Pastor Charged With Raping A Child
PimpPreacher.com Atlanta Bureau 11/30/2011

Another Church of God in Christ Pastor has been arrested for sex crimes against an underage child. The New Hanover County Sheriff’s Office arrested Thomas Archie Wiggins Jr, 54, on five counts of first-degree sexual offense and five counts of indecent liberties with a minor.

“The crimes allegedly took place in 1998, said Sgt. J.J. Brewer, spokesman for the New Hanover County Sheriff’s Office.

As of Tuesday, Wiggins was listed as the pastor on the website for Wilmington’s Faith Temple Church of God and Christ, 1119 S. 4th St.

Phone calls to the church Tuesday afternoon went unanswered.

According to the organization’s website, Wiggins has been a pastor at the church since December 1998, but Brewer said he did not know when during that year the alleged incidents took place.

Wiggins was booked into the New Hanover County jail under a $100,000 secured bond, but bonded out later in the day, according to jail officials.

This latest arrest comes on the heels of the most recent COGIC Holy Convocation in which Church Folk Revolution members have criticized Presiding Bishop Charles Blake for ignoring victims of rape with in his organization.

Same Old Same Old

In typical COGIC response to the rape of another child, members of Wilmington’s Faith Temple are flooding the internet with support for their pastor, and no concern for the victim. Listed below are actual comments posted on a local news blog in support of Thomas Archie Wiggins Jr.

We NEED to Pray for Pastor

Submitted by GuestGuest (not verified) on Tue, 11/29/2011 – 10:57pm.

It greives my heart to hear of this news! Most of us in the Wilmington, NC and surrounding area’s know this he IS Truly a Man of God! It is ashame that someone would 13years later bring up charges like this. It sounds to me like someone is out to get some money or some type of revenge. You are 14years old but wait until you are 27years GROWN to open your mouth and report something like this?

I only pray for mercy for the ones lying on God’s Man servant that they be not destroyed, because God will vindicate His own.

1 Chronicles 16:22 -

» reply

I don’t understand why after

Submitted by COGIC (not verified) on Tue, 11/29/2011 – 10:33pm.

I don’t understand why after so many years do a person want to destroy a person life with allegations and remarks of something that’s just not right. I pray that God will intercede with this situation, because Pastor Wiggins is a a Man of God and he is not to be judged. Only God can judge him and not man.

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Pastor we are praying with

Submitted by Musician (not verified) on Tue, 11/29/2011 – 7:44pm.

Pastor we are praying with you. Everyone needs to understand that God is in control of everything under the heavens. The satan had to get permission from God before he was able to attack Job. Likewise the devil was given permission to attack Wiggins. It is just a test for him as well as the body of Christ. Are we going to turn our backs on him now we he faithfully brought the true word of God to us? Remember just because he is a pastor does not mean he is exempt for the devil tempting his flesh. Again, satan Tempted Jesus. Now is the time to show what prayer can really do.

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Let’s all pray for this Man of God!

Submitted by patriot (not verified) on Tue, 11/29/2011 – 6:31pm.

I am uneasy about this Man of God being arrested. I heard him preach before. We must not judge, but pray for the truth to come out, for this Pastor, his congregations, and family. So far these are allegations. Again this is very unsettling to know. I hope that the allegations are not true. However instead of Gossiping about him. Pray for him and everyone involved in these circumstances.

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The Enemy is Out To Get Us (Christains)

Submitted by M. Black (not verified) on Tue, 11/29/2011 – 6:26pm.

O M G……. I been knowing this man from my childhood and he truly is a MAN of God! The enemy is here to attack the christain body of Christ like never before…..its in the word of God. All we got to do is pray, pray, pray! I love U Pastor and we all praying!

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WHY???”

Submitted by Adrienne (not verified) on Tue, 11/29/2011 – 4:51pm.

WHY??? HERE WE ARE JUDGING AGAIN!!! WHAT IS THE LIMIT!!! WHY IS THIS BEING BROUGHT TO THE PUBLIC NOW. HE IS TRULY A MAN OF GOD, ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE. ANOTHER PERSON CHARACTER DESTORYED BY A PERSON WHO PROBABLY NEED MONEY, OR WANTED AN AFFAIR WITH THE PASTOR. IF THIS WORLD DON’T NEED ANYTHING ELSE, WE ALL NEED TO COME TOGETHER AND PRAY THAT THE DEVIL STOP ATTACKING THE GODLY PEOPLE.

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To that comment: Crimes are

Submitted by Antonio (not verified) on Wed, 11/30/2011 – 7:49am.

To that comment:

Crimes are crimes and GOD set in place laws to abide by in the physical form. No matter who you are and what religion you are, you are to follow the law. The bible isn’t a book to hide your crimes and that has nothing to do with the devil attacking. God gave people the ability to make choices and freewill and this sounds like he chose the wrong thing to do. What’s done in the dark will come to light. If someone commits a murder 30 years ago, and then gets saved later on in life, is he not suppose to stand up and face that crime?

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Amen!

Submitted by Destiny (not verified) on Wed, 11/30/2011 – 7:31am.

Amen!

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What about the victims?

Submitted by Guestgustd (not verified) on Wed, 11/30/2011 – 6:31am.

A man in power often takes advantage of those who have none. Wait and see who is guilty and who isn’t. A child or several childrens’ lives may have been ruined by this man. What about justice for them?

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Yeah, he sounds like a real

Submitted by Getaclue (not verified) on Wed, 11/30/2011 – 3:05am.

Yeah, he sounds like a real Saint.

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More To Come

Submitted by Not surprised (not verified) on Wed, 11/30/2011 – 1:42am.

ALL WHAT YOU SAID IS GOOD, BUT DENIAL WILL NOT MAKE THIS GO AWAY. ITS JUST TIME TO PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. GOD IS UNCOVERING ALL UNREPENTED SIN. Say what you want GOD, THOMAS WIGGINS AND THE FIVE KNOW THE TRUTH. BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR PRAYERS.REMEBER SAMUEL AND GODS RESPONSE TO HIM REGARDING SAUL. Stop blaming the devil for poor decision making. His job is to discredit followers of Jesus Christ and we help him.