Driftwood Life

The Nepali Bride

Mr. Banerjee — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:47:19 +0000

Looks like my friendly neighborhood Nepali grocery store owners have a sweet spot for me. They have already circled me as a prospective groom for the unwed nubile women in their community. I am far from being a handsome George Clooney but I had my share of ‘come hither’ looks and quick glances from all the Nepali beauties of east Atlanta. Yes, I have good peripheral vision. Fuck you. Funnily enough, it’s always the married ones that gives the most obvious ‘fuck me’ eyes. It’s not even subtle. I don’t know what’s up with their Nepali husbands but we have a serious case of desperate housewives in east Atlanta Nepali community. Even from pregnant ones. But I’ll put that case in the “pregnant hormonal mood swings” folder.

Atlanta’s eastern suburbs have a big Nepali refugee population, especially in suburbs of Clarkston and Tucker. Nepalis are traditional Hindus and they rarely if ever marry out of their community or religion. They already know I’m from India and Hindu. Now only if they figure out I’m a Brahmin I have no doubt I’d be abducted one of these days and forced to marry a fat cow. Okay, that’s not right. Nepali women are very pretty and rarely if ever I have seen an ugly broad out there. In fact, most of them are quite desirable.

I go to the Nepali restaurant and the grocery store a lot. So in a way I have made my own bed and I might have to sleep in it. The rose petals were when I mentioned the magic word: Siliguri. You don’t’ mention Siliguri, which is a trading town in the Himalayan foothills in West Bengal popular to the Nepalis just across border, and get away with it. Lesson no. 1 to make lifelong friends with Nepalis: mention you know or you’re from Siliguri. They’ll build a new Shangri La for you in Libyan Sahara desert.

Now I’m afraid to go to the Nepali grocery store after this exchange with one of the fat football faced Nepali store owners.

FatUncle: You like nepali girls?

Me: Yeah, sure. They look really good.

FatUncle: What do you do?

Me: I’m a grad student.

FatUncle: Do you live with your parents?

Me: I live alone.

FatUncle: You single? You have a girlfriend?

Me: I didn’t realize I walked into a marriage services bureau.

FatUncle: You want to marry a nepali girl? They are very good.

Me: Seriously?

I couldn’t control my incredulous laughter to the question.

FatUncle: Do you want to marry in the ‘continent’ (referring to India)? Do you want to marry here?

ME: i haven’t really thought about it.

FatUncle: Nepali girls are very nice.

Me: I can’t agree more. They are amazing. But I have a bus to catch. phir milenge.

Having said that, I fled with my groceries and the most authentic jhalmuri this side of the hemisphere.

Now don’t get me wrong. Nepali people are the nicest in the world. Himalayan nice. But it was creepy. I’m terrified what they would ask me the next time I go through the doors of my Nepali South Asian grocery store.

Closure and openings

Mr. Banerjee — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 02:04:21 +0000

Now that the “i’m-such-a-coy-prude-Turkish-attention-whore” episode is over, I’ll continue with what is turning out to be a pregnant academic year full of hope and awesomeness. London in early summer, then followed up by a peaceful and productive time with the family back home interspersed with (hopefully) mocking the hell out of the unreconstructed Marxists and Maoist graduate students at either Jadavpur University or Presidency University and still being productive. Ending the summer with the trip back to Ladakh.

Yes my gentile friends, a summer of awesomeness is coming up. Now only I have to uphold my end of the bargain. That being going easy on the procrastination and advancing on the academic agenda.

Googly eyes

Mr. Banerjee — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 19:30:57 +0000

Needs to be stopped. I’m told I’m the bigger culprit but it goes both ways. Which is a relief. If I had a dollar for the phrase “start dating that girl already” I’ve heard from the gang over the past month, I would be a rich man by now. I feel like I’m back in high school days. Not a bad thing at all.

The curtain falls

Mr. Banerjee — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 21:13:21 +0000

Just like that. Even before I crossed the Atlantic for the first time I knew it would happen like this. Right down to the time and the way of delivery. Premonition, or vision, I can’t tell the difference. One thing I know that you will be missed very very very very badly the next time I enter your bedroom. I am glad you had a good life with your family all around you. Few in India, even among the privileged, go on to live well into their eighties. It’s funny that I didn’t cry hearing the news. I didn’t envision that I would. But I ended up crying anyway listening to the saddest story I have ever heard in my entire life at wee hours in the morning. It’s been a long, long time I have had exercised my lachrymal glands but today was it. I digress. Rest in peace, Didu.

Seriously?

Mr. Banerjee — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 00:10:08 +0000

How can you even play coy, far less refuse to come to on an epic trip like that? D just cracks me up. Things have changed. We have a clearer picture of who’s coming and who’s not. The magic number is 7. We already have Abhi, Brandon, Jale, Trice and me, of course. Harrison may be on the boat. The Rapunzel is pissed off and wants to go her own way, and drive. Looks like I’ll see her the last time this June, in one piece at the very least. This is coming up to be bigtime epic! Did I say “epic”?

Redux

Mr. Banerjee — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:08:26 +0000

And the planning starts from this week for the Back-to-Ladakh trip. It’s going to be epic! Oh yes sir, it will be. Ladakh here we come. Less than 8 months to go. This time, I will make amends to the lack of flexibility we had last year. I hope this time another Kansas City Shuffle won’t be necessary. Fingers crossed fo folks so they make it. Passionate people, check. Fun quotient, check check. Non-obnoxious, collegial ladies and gentlemen, triple check. Of all the people I seriously hope D and the Rapunzel makes it. Abhi and TG looks like a done deal. USC and YG would be cherry on top. Or if it comes to worse and I have to do it alone, so be it.

Nostalgia

Mr. Banerjee — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 21:04:49 +0000

Or something else? I have debated time and time again to no particular success. Maybe it’s the historic and beautiful campus; or maybe it’s my repressed psychological longing to get back to my inter-school rivalry days by cheering for the football team at Scott Stadium again, singing the good ol’ song to the tunes of Auld Lang Syne every time the Cavaliers score points in a perfect Fall afternoon. Maybe it’s the brand name that comes with the Politics department and the university.Well, for sure I’m happy as a smug bug where I am and academically in terms of South Asian Politics UVA does not have any comparative advantage to GSU that I need to try for a transfer back to UVA. As they, the grass is greener on the other side or so it seems to the observer.

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just that I want to spend time with a certain someone. Silly, I know. Irrational, more so. The matters of the heart are a mystery even to the Wise.

Spark

Mr. Banerjee — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 06:23:41 +0000

I think I should blog more happen. Perhaps that’s the way to stave off the writer’s block and finish two-and-a-half course papers and do a slam dunk on the journal paper. Short, succinct thingpieces. Just enough to stave off ennui and the itching urge to check out facebook. Productivity is the need of the hour. As someone said two falls back, there’s no respite before tenure. it’s going to be a long, tough road and that’s exactly the beauty of it.

On a different note, I feel bad about deleting the old blogger blog. I don’t even have them ol’ posts backed up. Too much outrageous sophomoric stuff back there. But still, seller’s remorse if there’s any such thing.

Note to self: must finish the Ladakh travelogue. Next summer’s back to Ladakh trip is 8 months away and I haven’t been able to finish past year’s travelogue. It’s shameful. Blah.

Memento

Mr. Banerjee — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 08:39:21 +0000

I wish you did not give up dancing. I never saw you professionally dance but I believe you’re the most talented young classical dancer India never had. It’s not flattery. This is what I believe. I have spoken.

By the way, why does every girl in this photo except you seem like a huge bitch? Especially J in the left middle? What’s with dancers tending to be refined bitches anyway?

September 28, 2001

Mr. Banerjee — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 02:54:43 +0000

Take me back. Someone, anyone.