drunkJournal

how to get paid to be a drunk

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:39:47 MST

have you ever looked through all those lists of "how to make money on the internet" and you're like "what a bunch of horseshit?" well i wanted to think of ways to make money being a drunk. so here is my list, top ways to make money being a drunk: be zane lamprey this list is not very helpful

fuck work

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 14:53:08 MST

after 3 weeks of 10-hour workdays and work-saturdays, we were so close to being finished our website relaunch until our vendor managed to screw everything up in a single afternoon. while watching the project collapse in chaos around me, i muttered to myself "tonight is a whiskey night", to which the coworkers around me laughed in surprise and said they couldn't see me as a whiskey drinker. it's amazing how little the people you work with can know about you.

FUC K YOU

Sat, 06 Aug 2011 22:15:44 MST

YO AFUCK YOU. listen. i'm drizzzzzzzunk. i get drunk stay drunk cause i kill it and i rule and yalll suck asssaese. my friend"katye" liks the gay mets for fags that ar ebad at the baseboils. jason gay is like their worst player ever but she loves him but his brains are mush and maybe rita's water ice consistency dot com. URGH. get drunk losrers. arnold loves you. he hates women and maybe you too. commando. predator. terminator 2.

"cheap" liquor

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 12:11:06 MST

here's an article about "cheap liquor" that has a pretty loose interpretation of the word "cheap". most of the bottles they cite cost about $20 or less for a 750ml bottle. twenty bucks a fifth? are you kidding me? motherfucker, don't come talking to me about "cheap" liquor unless it's under $20 a handle. unless i can get an entire LITER tacked on to your 750ml, i don't consider it "cheap". maybe this is why people resort to drinking mouthwash, because they think $20 a fifth is the cheapest thing anyone carries. here are the cheap-ass things i sometimes drink that makes anyone dropping a jackson on 750ml of liquor look like professor moneybags: skol vodka. it is $12 for 1.75 liters evan williams green label bourbon. $16 per 1.75 and it tastes FINE old smuggler scotch. when i'm feeling like actually dropping $20 on something, it may be on a handle of this, which i can get for $19.99. these are things that are cheap. if you want to be cheap, you are not allowed to be snobby about it.

how is drinking mouthwash any cheaper than buying booze

Fri, 06 May 2011 07:22:51 MST

so here's a story about a place where alcoholics go to live and the first guy they talk to is drinking mouthwash to get drunk. now, i've heard of people doing this, and it still doesn't make any sense to me. what kind of cheap-ass mouthwash are these people drinking? a bottle of mouthwash costs like 5 bucks. are you telling me that for 5 bucks you can't find some real alcohol to drink? for 5 bucks you could get eight cans of steel reserve, or a couple 40s. save up 10 bucks and you can get a handle of the cheapest vodka at the liquor store. that has got to stretch farther than a bottle of mouthwash does. someone PLEASE explain to me the advantages of drinking mouthwash, because i sure as hell don't see any.

the wire season 2 was dumb

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 10:27:57 MST

so we got a dvd set of the wire, and we've been watching it. it's a pretty good show, and i suppose everyone knows that already and we're just late to the game. we're on season 4 now, but i gotta tell you. if i had started watching at season 2, i would have been all like "what the hell is this" and stopped watching. all because of one guy: ziggy. he is not a gritty, real life person who haunts the streets of baltimore. he is a cartoonish caricature of a moron who is too dumb to live. the end of the season when we finally get to see him spill his guts and learn his motivations in life, i was saying to myself "this better be more than 'my dad didn't pay enough attention to me'" but that's all it was. :( anyway, ziggy did only one cool thing that entire season. he made a duck drink whiskey. then the duck drank himself to death. ziggy was stupid.

STRONGEST liquor brands

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 08:37:06 MST

so there was a slideshow on cnbc about the world's strongest liquor brands, which frankly was not that interesting but it made me want to mention two things: everclear. i will never drink it again. years ago the wife and i did everclear and coke all night or some shit and i have never had a night disappear as fast as that. we're talking about the 190 proof stuff too, because i got it in louisiana. in florida you can't even buy it that strong. it's capped at 151. steel reserve. it's not among the "strongest liquors" but loob and i did some math a while back and figured out that it is definitely the lowest price for the most alcohol per volume. a 4-pack of 16 oz cans costs around 2.50 at my local grocery store. at 8.1%, you just cannot find something that strong for that cheap. and that's the end of my story.

OMG APPLEBEES AGAIN WITH THE DRUNK KIDS

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 12:59:09 MST

i've posted before about all the times applebees mistakenly gives alcohol to the kids who are drinking there, and looks like they did it again. WHY IS IT ALWAYS AN APPLEBEES you'd think we'd hear about this more often if it happened other places too, but it's always an applebees.

olde fortran

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 20:21:53 MST

i poured my quart of olde english into a big liter-size beer mug so i would feel more sophisticated. i got this mug a few years ago. i think i got it at crazy buffet, which is weird because that's an asian place and the big beer mug says "paulaner munchen" on it. i guess it was from asian oktoberfest, who knows. crazy buffet is pretty sweet. they used to give you free dinner on your birthday, but then they stopped doing that, but then they started doing it again. honestly, i have no idea what their current policy is. but the buffet is extensive so it's usually worth it anyway. one time after going out to see someone. i think ti was joel mchale, we were all "let's go to crazy buffet" but we got there too late and it was closed. we went to the place that took over the closed down bennigans instead. it was ok i guess. did you know that in florida you can't get 40s? i may have mentioned that before. a quart is the biggest size bottle you can get. "they" claim it's to prevent alcohol abuse but it turns out the biggest opponents to changing the rules are distributers who don't want to have to accomoodate different sizes of bottles in their trucks. they have a system worked out with 32 ounce bottles and god dammit nothing is going to change that because it will cost them money. either way, i still call the item that i buy at 7-11 (that's the only place to get these around here) a "40" because god dammit that's what it is. "40" is not a size, it's a way of life 40 stories i should tell sometime: the time cravens chugged a 40 while we were waiting to get into the rat in boston and he threw up before we even got in to the show actually i guess thats the only one. and i guess i just told it. cravens chugged a 40 in the parking lot behind the rat. then he puked. the end. oh well

things not to do in 2011, from CNN

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 06:49:03 MST

CNN just posted an article about "7 things not to do online in 2011" Number 6 on the list: 6. ... drunk-text. Or drunk-tweet. Or drunk-e-mail. Or drunk-update-le-Facebook-status. It's 2011, folks -- of course the coders who hand you such digital Tommy guns have figured out how to add safety latches. Apps like Mail Goggles and the social media sobriety test mitigate the damage. If only you'd done some sober installing before your big NYE open bar, the decade might've begun on a much less sloppy, indelicate foot. Aww, come on CNN. Where's the fun in that? Well anyway, in a week or so there will be a nice place available to everyone who wants to do all those things, but not where your mom can read it.

ok

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 23:39:59 MST

i have all week off and you knoiw what i have been doing? drinking, mostly. sometimes clesning up dog puke. okay actually a fair amount of that. i have already watched eight on demand movies ("a simple man" and "CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS" were good, "the wrestler" was not, what were you people thinking?) so i am out of movies i want to watch. also i bought a new shirt today it is kind of ugly but hey i drove all that way, gotta buy sometyhing, right? probably not but i already threw away the receipt i think so suck it, me. i am feeling pretty disappointed by this post, but, hey, i don't see you doing any better. i am all sweaty i have the heat up to 78

i saw a drunk driver

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 19:20:27 MST

so have you ever been driving home and you see some car swerving over the lane lines and then swerving back and you're like "OH MY GOD that guy is drunk???" well i saw that guy tonight: speeding, tailgating, constantly tapping his brakes, and drifting all over the god damn road. SPOILER ALERT: it was a police cruiser. not a pasco county sherriff though, a tampa cop. which means it was some tampa cop who lives in the suburbs who got his ass drunk when he got off duty and drove home. either that, or TAMPA COPS ARE REALLY SHITTY DRIVERS. i don't know which is worse. this is my last night of partying because tomorrow is my last day off from work. it will have been 11 days in a row off which is nice. it let me got a lot of work done on THIS WEB SITE. i still have a lot to do before a legitimate public relaunch. you can make comments now, btu there are also like 1000 orphan comments from the old database that need to be reassigned to their parent post. :/ maybe that's what i can spend my days doing when i get back to my day job.

happy noob year, noobs

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 17:05:04 MST

we spent the day watching a "drinking made easy" marathon, which was pretty sweet. it's the best show about drinking since THREE SHEETS which by the way you can also watch three sheets episodes at the drinking made easy website, which is pretty cool. HOWEVER. i think the HDNet channel screwed up the marathon, because the intro segments got out of sync with the actual episodes that were being aired. they'd say "coming up next, BOSTON" and then the new york episode would play. and then it was "coming up next, VIRGINIA" and then the boston episode would play, and then that was the LAST ONE. so we didn't get to see virginia as part of this marathon. IF THIS IS ANY INDICATION, 2011 IS GOING TO FUCKING SSSSUUUCCCCKKKKKK happy new year though

2k11 butches!!!

Sat, 01 Jan 2011 04:42:15 MST

Forkst post of 3k11 bithvhes!!!!!!!! I feel naked not wearing my space suit. Except stupid bitches want to touch it. That's what she said. S my d. Hallelujah.

NO COMMENTS!?

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 18:16:14 MST

Since I can't COMMENT on the story about "xelA" I just wanted to say: HIGH FIVE!

TRON BARFNOISES

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 11:57:17 MST

one day this person (we'll call them xelA) watched TRON:1.0 and then got drunk and then went to a midnight showing of TRON:2.0+ and passed out, only to wake during the climactic fight scene and barf all over Joe's shoes and pants. WHOOPS!

yeah

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 05:10:53 MST

I tried to post last night. Shit didn't work. I'm not drunk, but I will be. Is this shit iphone ready? can you imagine making a super easy iphone app interface so you can sell it for 99 cents a piece and have a ton of drunk idiots get it, gain a wildly huge following like FML, and then $$$$$$. Maybe do that.

Bars

Tue, 28 Dec 2010 22:34:53 MST

I'm at a bar sitting around a camp fire. I am toasty. I'm going to go get another beer.

yo guys i am going mobile

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 19:54:54 MST

going mobile going mobile going mobile

Untitled

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 18:53:14 MST

Donate to local church organization today!

testing out some stuff

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 18:33:47 MST

HEY EVERYONE check it out, i have a few weeks vacation which i have dedicated to getting drunkjournal version 4.0 or whatever it is back up and running. it is now open for limited beta testing. if you have ever had a drunkjournal account before, it probably still exists. you can log in and take advantage of the limited features that are in place, such as posting. there's other stuff that's not ready yet but you'll be able to access it before i open the site to the public. here's what you need to do: go to the login page click "i forgot my username or password" (even if you didn't. the password systems are different now.) fill in your email address. if you don't know your email address or don't have access to the email that was associated with your account anymore, i'm sorry. you're out of luck until new account creation is available. wait for an email. click the link and follow the instructions. you can now log in and go to the posting screen to post whatever you want. i still have a lot of work to do before we open the place up to the public - eventually i'll get some invite codes going on. knock yo self out

Blughhhhh!

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:21:23 MST

Last Thursday was ridiculous. Between the three of us, my friends and I had 2 bottles of wine and half of a bottle of Hennessey. Freaking ghetto. The only things I remember are an ill-conceived drinking game based around Iron Chef America. Every time they showed judge Jeffrey Steingarten's greasy-ass lips, we would drink. Then on Project Runway, every time Tim Gunn touched his face, we'd drink. Whenever someone smiled, we'd drink. Woke up at 1AM, making HURRRRR HURRRR noises on their futon (leaving what was later delightfully described to me as a "squirtle" on the wall).� I tore off the funky futon sheet in horror, clutching it to my chest. Then I immediately forgot I'd already taken the sheet off, and HULK-LIFTED the mattress, scrabbling to find the sheet. Then I decided since I couldn't find the sheet, I should take the whole futon mattress OUT OF THE APARTMENT. More HULK-LIFTING. Then, "Jesus christ this is freaking heavy, eh?" so I just ended up feebly flipping the mattress over and over again, still trying to find the sheet. I called a cab service to come get me in motherflipping Harlem. I was crying for some reason, and my drunk-voice sounds like the voice of a retard with a mouth full of mashed potatoes. The dispatcher kept asking me if someone had kidnapped me, or if I was being held against my will. "NOE, I JUSS DRAUNKKK, I nee to go hooooommm," I moaned in my retard-drunk-voice. The cab finally came, and the disgusting horked-up sheet was still clutched to my chest, but I wouldn't notice it until I got home. When I got home, I realized that I wasn't even wearing shoes -- only socks. 2:15 AM. I tore off my clothes, threw them in the bathtub, and went to bed. When I got up for work the next morning at 8, I woke up in a sandwich -- I had somehow crammed myself in between the bare mattress and the fitted sheet. The elastic was holding me in like a pita pocket. I think I win the 2009 award for WORST DRUNK EVER!!!

rguhh

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:11:50 MST

yo somtimes it is hard to post on here because there is no fuckin gbutton that says FUCKING POST EHRE. for the extreme drunk ass this sis damn near imporssible. anyway. i have been dirnking red wine. more than a bnottle's worth. i'm drunk,. duh. i watching fucking choppied. they shou.ldn't have that show. its like asking chef EEY HERE ARE THE SHITTIEST INGREDIENTS WE CAN GIVE YOU, MAKE SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SUCK BALLS. good luck, shiutfuycks. anywa i'm just trying to say i',m druik and you gfguys aren't later. fucktwats.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 05:25:49 MST

you shit fced cock masters. i drank alot of stella but aslso i drank makeras smark adn also i' m aeseoms some chicks from ohio wants to suck my dick bu then theye aallll turn sclassy lik ethey weren't from hjere. bitches. also my dick was gonnna get sucked but skluts and i drank wihskye

parents who drink aren't cool anymore

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:19:32 MST

at least not when they drink and drive and kill a bunch of people http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1915467,00.html sorry everyone who read that last article about how cool it was that you could drink and be a parent, LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE WRONG, because some woman killed herself and her kids by DRINKING

Baby I Need Your Lovin'

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 05:02:38 MST

Hello.� We went to the City and danced for Soul Night tonight.� I'm listening to the Temptations - Get Ready right now and I can't imagine that life could get any better.� Also I am drunk and working on a Knob Creek on the rocks, just to keep things honest.� How are you?

porter

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:27:04 MST

so i bought a new beer tonight and it's called michelob porter. i know i know - michelob, that's short for "budweiser" but this is actually pretty good. i like porters. i like dark beer, it's the best i'm a fan of amberbock, another budweisrer/michelob thing and this is even darker but not quite a stout i suppose DELICIOUS oh ALSO, you know the old miller light commercial "youhad a hard day at the office, now it's miller time" well more like "you had� a hard day at the office, now it's TROLLING YAHOO ANSWERS TIME" am i rite the people on yahoo answers are the people that make me drink PS: oh nice i just noticed the messed up "how drunk are you" menu, that' sg reat guys, good job thanks

WHATEVERS

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:38:42 MST

yo listen up. its kmikey. everyones favorteie awesome dude. i saw the CA PHILAHATMONIC tonight. they were gocool i guess. i wasn't allowed to drink cause i was the DESIDGANTED DRIVER. SHE WAS FUICKING GAY. bvut on the plus i got home in recordd time and also i ate basically nothign today. so i fixed myself a tall pint glass of ELIJAH CRAIG. for you ASSSSHOLES that don't know what that ss is its WHISKWYE on wkehsikwy weekend.� its fucking my UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. also: tits. thats pretty muchc all i gto. i like tits.

it's frida NIGHT

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 05:26:39 MST

guys i am preetty glad i rpgoramed my copmutar to save drunk houranl password bcaue now i can post!@! my computear knows my secretes hey guys happy saturda y niw, i just want to say whello WHELLO LOLZ my coweronkrer took me \out and it was quitre an eexperience, it's been a while.� we drank lots o beer and i met his freidns and i wandered arojnd and met some more popel and the bartender ooooh la la lal la ps. i am soproud of my self for being able to DJ POSRT DJ POST DJPOST +2359023582490237 AWESOME POINTSS PINTS HAHAHAHAHAH

ooooh recycling

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:35:01 MST

i have recently become convinced that recycling programs are nothing more than a conspiracy designed to shame people into not drinking. when you just toss all your empties out in your garbage, no one sees them and no one cares - but we have these transparent blue recycling bag, and when you're working through two boxes full of miniature liquor bottles (plus the weekend's case of beer and a bottle of wine) that shit is NOTICEABLE. good thing i ain't shamed!

south carolina judge says adults can drink

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:43:30 MST

sorry, i have a boring post about the news but this was really interesting to me you see, the south carolina constitution only allows for the law to prevent 18-20 year olds from BUYING alcohol. but once� they have it in their hands, there's nothing you can do to stop them from drinking it. probably the most enlightened thing i've heard on the subject in a while: In a statement, McCulloch says the ruling "presents to the General Assembly and ultimately to the voters of South Carolina an opportunity to address the issue of under-21 access to alcoholic beverages in a thoughtful and deliberate way." "The constitutional decision to allow 18 year olds a vast array of freedoms, including the ability to fight for our country, suggests that the privilege of alcohol consumption as well should be extended to our citizens who are 18 years old and above," McCulloch writes. He says lawmakers, if they revisit the issue, should "look beyond criminalization and resist calls from the pressure groups opposed to alcohol to more productive solutions like education and counselors." full story - http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=10726099 of course, i'm sure someone here is running afoul of the law - whoever purchased the alcohol in order to give it to the 18 year old is probably violating something or other - but at least the 18 year old isn't actually breaking the law by drinking.

more little bottles

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:21:07 MST

it's a new night which means more little bottles of whiskey the two i've tried so far tonight are OLD KENTUCKY TAVERN and J.W.DANT bourbon, both of which were actually stamped with a date. the date was 1956. that means i'm drinking 53-year-old bourbon. wow they both taste really good, but i'm beginning to think if you let any whiskey sit around for 50 years it's gonna end up tasting good.

last bottle for tonight

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:27:12 MST

so this last bottle was called I.W.Harper bourbon, which apparently is more popular in japan than in america these days. it was also pretty good, but you know, it tastes pretty much just like any other bourbon. i'm beginning to suspect that bourbon snobs are crazy. every one of the four minis i've drank tonight tasted just about the same (except the jack daniels i guess). they were all good and all old, and all smooth. oh well, time to call it a night. not enough hours in the day. there's still like 50 bottles left to go through so we'll have to tackle those some other time

next bottle, old forester

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 21:47:25 MST

ok so the next bottle of mini whiskey is "old forester" which i had never heard of but i guess they still make whiskey. it was also pretty smooth, not bad. i think i'll try one more bottle tonight but then i gotta go to bed boooooooo

next bottle

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 21:04:06 MST

ok so now i am drinking a bottle called "antique" bourbon whiskey. the label says on it "this whiskey is 6 years old" - hahahaha not anymore it's not! in fact, according to this bourbon whiskey forum, "antique" was bought by seagrams in the 40s and ceased operations in the 60s. that means at the absolute least this bottle is 50 years old (make that 56 years old). it's pretty smooth, i guess a half a century will� mellow out a bourbon.

ancient little liquor bottles

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:05:51 MST

so we bought a nice desk chair for real cheap from craigslist today. katye went to pick it up, but the girl selling it didn't have change for 40 bucks, SO she decided to throw in a couple boxes full of old airplane liquor bottles to sweeten the deal. DEAL SWEETENED. so tonight is going to be spent sampling these tiny old bottles. i think i will do a running commentary as i try each one. my first one was a bottle of jack daniels with a green label. i know that's some variety or other of JD but i don't know what the difference is. it tasted pretty rough, but i didn't go blind so i guess it's ok. STAY TUNED

whiskey weekend recipe for whiskey daquiri things

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:22:54 MST

so today was a nice day, we went to busch gardens (where they no longer give out free beer by the way, no thanks to their new owners) and then we got home and decided it was time to celebrate whiskey weekend by making some delicious frozen whiskey cocktails. they are actually very tasty. here's what we did: one 12 oz can of frozen juice concentrate (we used raspberry lemonade so far, but we have other flavors to try) 6 oz whiskey lots of ice put it all in blender and wwwsssshhhzzzzzzzzzzzzz drink it's awesommmmeeeeee i saw a recipe for margaritas where they suggested adding 6 oz of beer to the mix, which sounded excellent but we didn't have any beer and i didn't want to run back out to the store. OH WELL.

fuck a video codecs

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:17:10 MST

like, ok, when i download some video files from bittorrent, it would be nice if they would at least play properly on my dvd player, is that too much to ask? i mean,otherwise ahwaht am i staling movies for. tonight we tired wathing stepbrothers and also the money pit, and neither of them worked. FUCKED. oh man i was just telling kayte about our cafeteria when i was in high school we would ocasionally have LO MEIN for lucnh somtimes, which was ok, it was acceptable as far as you can expect high school lunch to be then, like 2 days later, we'd have "lo mein soup" - i would NEVER eat that sometimes we'd have these things that were pretty good thoug, they called them the "hurdle special" (i don't know why) they were a ham and cheese melt ina pastry crust and it usually came with tomato soup. THOSE were really good, in sprte of what you might hting. kayte is watcfhing freaks and geeks now, i didn't know that all these fucking dudes were in it. i never saw this show congratulations, freaks and geeks, your fucking legacy is "I AM A SHARK, SUCK MY DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK" con gratu-fucking-latiouns

mommy wants a drinkypoo

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 07:53:54 MST

i saw this article via fark this morning and just couldn't let it go unmentioned. mommy wants a drinkypoo websites where people talk about getting drunk? where have i seen something like that before these are obviously more sophisticated mommy types, though

IT'S NOT WHISKEY WEEKEND

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 00:21:50 MST

THIS IS NO LONGER WHISKEY WEEKEND, OKAY?� I WILL ADMIT THAT I HAD SOME WHISKEY BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLY MORE VODKA WATERMELON.� I ALSO HAD RIBS.� THEY ARE STLL IN MY TEETH I CAN'T FIND ANY FLOSS.� I CANT BE OTHERED TO FIND FLOSS RIGHT NOW, OKAY?� GET OF MYY BACK. i'm sorry for yelling so much i don't mean it.� i just get sort of excited.� soooooo excited.� none of you even know that song.� what a bunch of vagina.s� look.� july is only four days in and it's already been the best month ever.� and next week it will REALLY be the best month ever.� OKAY?� DON"T ARUGE WITH ME IN KNOW WHAT I"M TALKING ABOUT. i had to listen to some music during the fireworks show tonight.� I dubbed it, "Captain CHeese Dick, Sr"� That's probably the best desscription that anyone could ever give it.� So I know you know exactly what i'm talking about.� i'm sure that you also listeneed to it during your fireworks display.� unless your fireworks display had considerably less cheese dick than mine did.� which is possible.� I do live in Alabama.� Not for too much longer though, GEEZE

happy birthday uncle sam, AKA: satan

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 20:41:51 MST

ON THIS DAY in 1492 - CONGRESS (sponsored by the freemasons and the illuminati) declaresd that the UNITED STATES OF AMERIGO VESPUCCI would no longer be bound by the CODE OF HAMMURABI and would from henseforth be INDEPENDENT of the ALIEN OVERLORDS who scheme with the FREEMASONS in order to enslave the citizens of this CHRISTIAN NATION. that is why thomas jefferson and his wife WEEZY penned the controversial ARTICELS OF CONFEDERATION which told king george the third the following: "TWO DAY S AGO WE SAID FUCK YOU KING GEORGE BUT I AM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW" and that is why the 4th of july is celebrated on BASTILLE DAY, and also the french are secretly hiding the identiy of the HEIR OF JESUS CHRIST (may the peace of god be uponnhim) and the KNIGHTS TEMPLAR, together with the ILLUMINATI who invented fireworks in LOWER MONGOLIA have established this holiday in direct contradiciton of the LAWS OF JEHOVA. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED pew pew pew

Jack McCoy

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:13:12 MST

is a goddamn badass. You just try and listen to his arguments and not want to be on his side- I dare you. Dragonfruit Vitamin Water is so stinky!� But the xxx kind is good with gin. I had to work this morning and while I was working, this old man approached me to ask where toilet bowl brushes were...� He was wearing a t-shirt with Brian, the dog from Family Guy, getting his ass sniffed by a poodle, with the text bubble "DO I KNOW YOU??!" My life is complete.� I actually walked him over to the toilet brushes, even though I don't work there.� I just felt like I had to. IS SHOUDD BE JMAKING SO MANUY MOERE TPEING MISTANKES. A AM BAD DRUHNK TYOPLER.

i don't know WHAT TO BELIEBVE ANYMORE

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:59:31 MST

get it? i'm treesha sometimes i feel so bad for the people on unforum, because they want to know what's up with milwaukee, and i'm like OH MY GOD I CAN'T STAND THE SPREAD OF MISINFORMATION but then that movie about daredebil guy is on, with andy sandberg man that guy is fucking ugly. here is a list of ugly guys. i might even be able to unclude pictures: let me TRY IT there you have it, those are the 4 ugliest gurs on the face of the eath. YOU UGLY GUYS

complicated for sober one

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:44:52 MST

An automated WordPress update has failed to complete! Please notify the site administrator. An automated WordPress update has failed to complete! Please notify the site administrator. An automated WordPress update has failed to complete! Please notify the site administrator.

Things I can crush.

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 03:09:27 MST

Babies face. Precious gold-plated reliquaries. Gun things. Kali-infected gold-face things. Gun.

Listen up shitbags

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:24:41 MST

hey dudes and duddtetes and "katye"s. It seveyrone favorite dude of all time ever, MIkeEY. i'M OWNDERFUL. ALSO: i am drunks. i know WHIKSYE EVERYTHING is all the rage, but hey, my place didn't have any whsikey in it but you know what, i make do wiht my surroundings and i had FUCKTONS OF GIN in tehe freezer. i mixxed with tangerine juice and YUMMMMMM. tastes delishcious and then before you know it DRUNKTOWN USA. i hat eyou a;l.

Kegerator

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 02:53:49 MST

Let me just satsr by sayiong, I had to reset my password to tell you this. You're all fagots. Seriously, Tonight I was cleaning the house, and I was like "oh it,s a �saturday, I should drink". And then I have a kegerator, so I did just that. I've been dirnking for a few hours, and now I m a sleepy tired, so I am going to go to bed, But you are all fucking quqeerboes.

Heyooooooooooo

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 00:31:54 MST

Sup kids I don't really care. Here's a funny from last night: mikey: dude i am kidna drunk and muy dad IMed me to talk about th4e flyers and i'm like me: hahaha mikey: FUCK i am trying to not fuyck ay pselling yup shit thaty was ad 11:30 PM bad me: lol you are wrecked! mikey: i should post on drunk journal soon nah this is only a lil drunk so far I'TS A LONG WAY TILL WRECKED i will later 11:32 PM mikey: i don't know how long i can keep this up with my dda i wish he would shut up 11:33 PM me: hahahah 11:34 PM mikey: i can;'t bvelieve i am able to keep this up with him he went to an sirish restaurant he's nnot totallyt sober either but i am drunker for sure 11:35 PM my dad asked wahtas up itth me WHISKEY WEEKEND is not a good reponse me: LOL it's a perfect respionse! mikey: yewah if he were drunker 11:36 PM he hasn't missspelled shit dick 11:38 PM "KATYE" 11:40 PM wtf fcukcer fuck you dong 11:44 PM fuck my fanily is retards 11:45 PM "KATYE": WTF 11:46 PM me: Yeah I hear ya mikey: my dad is fuc,king not smart 11:49 PM dude i am getting shitty ed 11:50 PM "katye" wake up mikey: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS but you dfad diddnb't call yyouna and you don't have the hiccups 11:53 PM me: Peanut butter spoonfull of peanut butter will get rid of the hiccups Basically, I give good advice.� Plus I'm cute and hot and funny and sound like I'm 12, according to Aaron Wicks.� HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

GUTENMORGEN

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:59:17 MST

guys i think i am still drunk

BUENOS DIAS WHISKEY FIN DE SEMANA

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:43:03 MST

hey guys chris told me to post and he is a big bully, so here it is. i am drinking some KNOB and it is spicy.� jessica made me one, and it is lots of whiskey and littles of ice.� QED: alex is going to get durnk tonight i am going to a birthday party at a bar and then a bar that allows dogs.� that bar is called 'bitch' or something. LOLZ i hope i wrote enough so chris doesnt punch me.� HA JOKES ON YOU, YOU GOT SUNBRUNT

ww2 #2

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 20:21:22 MST

ok whatever allie, hurry up and whiskey weekend and thanks for lettimg me not doublepost ANYWAY i still don't like sam adams summer ale. BUT i have gotten over it, thanks to my friend "one shot of whiskey for each of these stupid beers" in other news, i got the bright idea "drunkjournal needs a twitter account" but would you fucking believe it, some guy already took "drunkjournal" as a twitter name. FCUKER. so in light of this less than awesome sam adams beer, i wanted to mention the beers we had at this german place we ate last sunday. it was called THE LAGERHAUS and it was awesome. the guy who owns the place makes his own beer, which is pretty sweet, but he also offers all kinds of awesome german beers so i had this stuff called hofbrauhaus dunkel, which was totally delicious. it's a nice dark beer, and i like dark beers. i don't like sam adams winter summer ale. i'ma keep drinking it though. MORE UPDATES???>......

bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:36:55 MST

what's up boner party~~ I am posting because spider is a gaybie about posting on his own site so I'm acting as the fluffer to get him ripped and ready. �SPEAKING OF RIPPED I am totally NOT but I should be. �I am not drunk on cheap cart beer and NOT heckling dudes because basebols game is RAINED OUT. �What a dumb earf. �I will stop debbie downering after I stuff face with stir fry and go out to the bahhhh. �where I will announce WHISK'Y WEEKEND and then everyone will buy me shots. ^____^ I still want my free coozie. �Coozefucks. �goldblum out.

whoskoy wookond 2: whaskay waakand

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:34:39 MST

i picked up some beer (and whiskey) for whiskey weekend and sam adams summer ale was on sale so i got some. i'm drinking my first bottle of this right now, and i have to tell you - i dunno about this stuff. i don't think i'm fond of it, but i'll power through and hopefully my friend whiskey will help take the edge off. STAY TUNED FOR MORE UPDATES I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MICHAEL JACKSON

So I was thinking...

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 05:01:07 MST

OK, so I live in LA. My apartment building is right next to a public park. "Park" is a� stretch though. There are no swings. No soccer goals. Nothing fun. Basically the only thing that makes this a public park are a handful of benches and a sign that says its a public park- mostly because its named for someone or something I DON'T KNOW OR CARE WHO SO DON'T ASK. Anyway, so since California is super cool to the homeless they go ahead and make themselves at home at said park. Generally, they don't bother me. They pretty much sleep all day and if South Park has taught me anything they pretty much just live off of change without much explaination otherwise. The problem is these fuckers are really annoying when they're actually awake. They just scream at the top of their lungs about god knows what and don't shut up until they're asleep again. Here is the problem: they have no regular sleep pattern and they are loud and wake me up or keep me from sleeping or enjoying my favorite television programming. No one ever calls the cops. I don't because I'm lazy and I think there is a warrent out for my arrest because I didn't reply or report to jury duty (OOPS SORRY COPS!). This brings me to my main point: what if I just killed them? They'd stop being loud and annoying (and alive). They probably don't have ID which means they are SO not legal or anytyhing like that with the legaml mumbo jumbo. So like yeha, someone would find the dead bodies, but i doubt anyone would call the cops cause like, who cares, right? I guess if they did they'd be all like SLAP ON WRIST but then whisper YOU DID US A PUBLIC SERVICE. what's your take? public servant or people killer. CHUNG CHUNG PS I tried really hard to type this good but it took a really� long time and thats shit got ANNOYYING so it got less god as it went on. whatever dudes. talk shit. bitches. ya'll dong'd

WHISKEY WEEEKENDDDDDD

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 02:30:51 MST

DUDE YOU FUCKS. ITS WHISKEY WWKEEEND. WHY AREN'T YOU MORONS WHSIKEYINBG. WHJISKEY IS A VERB. I AHTE YOU. MY FRIE FD "KATYE" OS O G STRONG. WHATEVER DUDE. I DRINK SHIKWSYE CAUSE ITS GETTTS ME DRUNK ON WHISKEYE WEEKEND. YOU GUS YS ARE SO FUCKING NOT WHISKEY. HALZOZZZZZZZZZZZZ WHY DON'T YOU LUGERS PLAY THATS SANYMORE. URGH. WHIKSEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. SEACERREST OUT.

Oh Haiii, i don't care, i need a drink

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 23:50:51 MST

So I had to work this morning. Here's this guy: "I'm so t'ed off because the belt I bought at Dollar General 3 years ago is no longer here!" BLAH BLAH, HE CONTINUES TO BITCH. The he gets next to me and continues to say things such as "This is NOT fun... NOT fun..." Hey guy. A.) I don't work for Dollar General... I'm a vendor, and so basically I never care. B.) I'M A VENDOR AND I DON'T CARE. Basically, I don't care.

homowners association

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 20:33:37 MST

so i'm getting over a cold and i'm probably not "supposed" to be drinking, but i'm like - who am i to blow off WHOSKOY WOOKOND anyway i got a bitchy letter from my homeowners association today they told me THIS IS YOUR SECOND WARNING about garbage cans being outside and i'm like BITCHES THERE ARE NO GARBAGE CANS OUTSIDE. PICS OR STFU then they wrote back "sorry we were wrong" and i'm like damn right you're wrong, punkass but you see the problem is that HOAs think they're like your LANDLORD. it's like you don't even own your home, you're renting from these fucking busybodies who have nothing better to do than drive by your house and see where your garbage cans are. i am planning on writing back again tomorrow with a very radical suggestion: "don't go out on trash day to catch violators of the 'no garbage cans on any day except trash day' rule, because that kind of ruins it" and hopefully they'll pick up what i'm laying down because jesus christ i hate homeowners assosciations. i wish i live d in the woods 100 miles away from anyone else, but until then i guess i need someone looking over my shoulder to protect my "investment" OH P.S.: have you seen how much the fucking housing market has tanked in the last few years? yeah, maybe that's all because my garbage cans were outside on non-trash days fuck you

C'mon party people what's ^^^

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:04:24 MST

You trying to make him cray-z?� I don't know what you're talking about.� What's with you?� I mean, she's a cow.� Hey, there's not a damn thing he can do about it because Sonny needs me.� Then the plan's still on.� What is sitll on.� [Oh, and now th eyounger SISTER is there??] Grandma's Boy is a good film/movie For watching I hope you guys had a good evening

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:55:04 MST

Hey ididots ists mikey! the best dude ever of all time ever. ITS WHISKEY WEEKENEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????? So first i wanted to let you know wi am drinking..... BOURBON its whisksye but SOUR MASH. but yeah, i'm drunkso. but serious whats the deal with stupid shit. I HATE ITTTT. bourbon i love though. fuck not borubbon. my friend"katye". thats aalll i got i think maybe i'm nott dreall sure. I HATE YOU MROONS.

oh no, this stupid blog for drunks

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:57:49 MST

it's back, this drunk alcoholic blog for drunk nerds to drink and post stupid shit. i tried to take it in the direction of a "serious blog about drinking and driving and prohibition and society and bla bla bla", and that was a dumb idea. time to bring it back the old way, keep it real, let drunk idiots post their stupid drunk rants and regret it the next day.

cops and drunks

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:31:08 MST

hey, did you guys hear the one about how you can get hammered, and go 98 MPH in a 45 MPH zone, and get caught pissing outside your car, but it's ok as long as you're a cop? yeah that's a good one. it's a good thing they didn't go the wrong way on the expressway, killing a mother and seriously injuring her daughter, or maybe the sherrif would have had some stern words for them.

my bottle of sake

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 10:42:52 MST

they say drunks won't get help until they hit rock bottom. so i was like "how will i know that i hit rock bottom??" a few years ago, i was pretty close maybe, but i wasn't quite sure. all i knew was that even if i said "you know, i don't feel like drinking tonight" i'd suddenly notice that i was in the liquor store buying a bottle of whiskey, then i'd suddenly notice that i was at home drinking it, and i'd be like "hmmm, i could have sworn that i explicitly told myself not to buy/drink this bottle of whiskey, but here i am, and hmmmmmmm" right, pretty close to rock bottom probably, when your body goes out and buys whiskey even though your brain told it not to. so my sister had given me this little bottle of gekkeikan sake, it was a cute little bottle. kind of egg-shaped with a cap that could be used as a sake-shot glass. and i kept it around because it was aesthetically pleasing, so i was like "OK i will never drink this bottle of sake. no matter what. even if i am broke, and there is no alcohol in the house, and there is nothing to drink except this bottle of sake, i WILL NEVER DRINK IT." because i knew that if i actually drank that bottle of sake, that was it. that was rock bottom. i still have that bottle of sake, it's on the end table in the living room. so i guess i never hit rock bottom. by the way, i haven't actually been out drinking in a few months, but then i went out the other night and had exactly three drinks and it was like BLAMMO!! not drinking really kills your tolerance. it's hard being a sober drunk.

my driving test says: DON'T DRINK! YAARRR!

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:32:31 MST

so a couple months ago i got a speeding ticket. i elected to take the driver improvement test online to cut down my fine and also keep the points off my record. the test has a huge section about DUI and how bad it is, which is completely irrelevant since i wasn't drunk. but i guess they have to drill this shit into you regardless, just to be sure you're aware. the test was full of the usual "one drink makes you a drunk driver" rhetoric which is bullshit, but to be expected from an official government-sanctioned driving test. there are plenty of other tidbits in this lesson book that go beyond "don't drink and drive" though, and go right into "don't drink". take for instance the following paragraph, which alternates between demonizing drunk driving and demonizing drinking in general: IS DRINKING FUN? Where does one get the idea we must drink to have fun? Maybe somebody told them they were having fun and since they can't remember what they did, they believe that they had fun. I believe that television plays a big part in making us think we must drink to have fun. Think about the last beer commercial that had real people (not frogs, or dogs or something else) in it. Now what were the people doing? You're right, they were having fun, playing ball, bowling in the snow, etc. By the way, have you ever seen any commercials without beautiful people in them? I never have. Who are these commercials trying to reach? Is it our youth? Now, have you ever seen a commercial like this? A good looking man comes on and looks you in the eye and says, "be a modern-day man and drink A B C beer," then he pauses for a second and finishes the sentence by saying, "Take your car out and kill a friend." I suggest you will not hear the last statement, but you only have to read the newspaper to find that statement almost everyday. Do we have reasons to drink, or are they just excuses? Can you agree with me that the DECISION to drive after drinking is not a good one? Remember that EVERY CHOICE HAS A CONSEQUENCE. Good choices bring good consequences; bad choices bring bad consequences. Bad choices in 2004 killed 1,093 people in Florida. As we continue to drink, other parts of the body will slow down and eventually stop if enough alcohol is consumed. You can literally drink yourself to death in one sitting! i can literally drink myself to death in one sitting, so...... don't drink and drive? i guess? anyway, this test did such a good job at conflating these two issues that it's hard to hide the prohibitionist tendencies behind it. i also like the logic in this section: Presumption of impairment is .08 BAC. The reason for such a presumption is because everybody reacts to alcohol differently. Some individuals can be the same sex, height, weight, have the same amount of alcohol and one individual can be visibly far more impaired than the other, while the other could recite the Gettysburg address. This may seem unfair but it is the law. A line has been drawn to which everybody must adhere. so... "everybody reacts to alcohol differently", therefore, everyone should be subject to the same arbitrary BAC number. frankly, if someone can recite the gettysburg address, they can drive. BAC be damned. it's unfair but it's the law! at least the state admits that the law is unfair, that's pretty refreshing.

"sarcasim", indeed (or how i got trolled)

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 16:38:33 MST

as you can see, i'm in the process of repopulating drunkjournal with the old old old archives from 2002-2005. It was originally based on a homegrown blog platform, so there's no easy way to import it into wordpress except to cut and paste each entry. anyway, while pulling the old content from the database backup, i stumbled upon this, which was posted by some teetotaling drunkjournal hater way back in the day: Play soccer. Don't drink. Sublime is cool, but Brad died in '96 from an alcohol OD. I guess he really found his 40 oz. to freedom *sarcasim* let's see who can be the best speller on the site. So far I'm feeling pretty good about winning :)

i got carded

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:50:56 MST

So I was at the liquor store the other night and the guy carded me. I'm in my 30s now, but I still get carded sometimes so I was like "oh, ok" and I flipped out my wallet and showed him the ID. He says "can you take it out of there for me, please?" And I'm like "uh, ok" and wondering what the hell dude, isn't this just a formality? Do you REALLY need to thoroughly inspect the ID? So he takes my ID, looks at it, and says "really." In this snide kind of way that's like "yeah right, dickhead. you're not fooling anyone with this cracker-jack box ID." And I'm kind of speechless, I mean, come ON man, I'm 30something fucking years old, get off my case, so I just say "yup" and he says "when's your birthday?" like this guy STILL can't believe I'm over 21. I tell him when my birthday is, and then for good measure I add in "which makes me well over 30 years old" and he's like "WELL OK, MAN, AT LEAST YOU STILL GET CARDED, WOW". Then he told me how bad he felt when people stopped carding him. It was a stupid encounter all around.

Cop kills himself driving drunk

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 14:32:16 MST

Contrary to what you may think, I don�t believe driving drunk is a good idea. When you�re drunk, you become a bad driver. You are more likely to crash. Yes, that�s true. However, I do believe that: the amount of �drunk� the law allows you is arbitrary and meaningless the specter of drunk drivers killing innocent people is used to promote an overall agenda of prohibition and an erosion of civil liberties, which is unacceptable to further this goal, the real danger has been overstated by use of distorted statistics and emotional appeals to focus on the relatively rare, tragic worst-case scenarios. For instance, studies have shown that driving while talking on a cell phone is more dangerous than driving drunk, but where�s the social outrage? Sure, everyone complains about drivers on the phone, but I see so many of them when I drive home from work, it�s laughable. Why aren�t these people called �monsters� and summarily stripped of their licenses? Where�s the phalanx of angry friends and relatives of people killed by drivers who were on the phone at the time? When something legal is tolerated even when it�s �worse� than something which is illegal, it generally sends the message that the illegal activity isn�t really all that bad after all and we�re being misled by the powers that be. That feeling is reinforced by stories like this one, about a cop who also didn�t think drinking and driving was as big a deal as everyone made it out to be. He got drunk with some police buddies, drove himself into a pickup truck, and died. Sheriff Nugent said Stegner was a good cop who �paid a steep price for making a bad choice.� � �Hopefully out of something that is very negative � we can use it as a positive teaching tool,� the sheriff said. He was obviously very well respected by his peers. Would the praise have been so forthcoming if he had killed someone else? Or would the state government have rallied to ban drinking, like they do when college kids kill themselves? We�re innundated with commercials warning us that �ONE DRINK IS TOO MANY� and �YOU DRINK, YOU DRIVE, YOU DIE�, and yet a group of cops all go out drinking and then drive home. Why is that? Take this one, for instance: a smirnoff ice commercial where a guy who�s had a couple drinks gets his car destroyed by his friend�s remote control monster truck. Leaving aside the fact that while the tipsy driver may have potentially caused some damage on his way home, that monster truck totalling the drunkard�s car and then careening into a residential neighborhood most certainly did� if you tried to stop a drunk cop from driving after he�s been drinking (especially when he�s surrounded by a bunch of other drunk cops who see no problem with this at all), I�m going to go out on a limb and say you�re the one who is going to get destroyed. Maybe they know something we don�t know.

whiskey, wine and barrels

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:36:41 MST

That winery tour guide must have lied to me. A few weeks ago I mentioned that I had learned during a winery tour that wineries often buy their barrels from whiskey makers, because according to regulations, whiskey makers are not allowed to reuse the barrels. This article seems to contradict that, because it tells of whiskey makers buying barrels from wineries, in order to mingle the wine flavor in the whiskey as it ages. That sounds really good, by the way. I enjoy a nice glass of wine, and I certainly enjoy a nice glass of whiskey. But now I�m curious. I couldn�t find any sources to confirm the �distilleries aren�t allowed to reuse their barrels� story, so now I�m wondering what the hell that winery tour guide was talking about. If anyone has any answers, please enlighten me.

Drunk News Roundup

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 14:35:47 MST

Here is a recap of drunks that have been in the news recently: A florida family is in trouble for taking a cue from Applebees and giving gin to their 10-month old baby. Tennessee plans to card everyone for alcohol purchases, in an effort to �curb underage drinking�. Logic would dictate that carding the elderly would do nothing to further that goal, but as I�ve said before: logic has no place in discussions about �underage drinking�. That�s too bad, because there are some new studies that show once again: moderate drinking is good for you, and drinking wine will prevent tooth decay.

drinking banned on the river

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 17:40:57 MST

California is working on passing a state law that would specifically ban alcohol on one specific river, the American river in Sacramento. Why? On July 4 of last year, two college students were also killed after a day of rafting when their friend who was allegedly drunk crashed into a pole on Folsom Boulevard. �If alcohol had been banned on the river that fateful day, Kendall and Brian would be alive today. We�re sure of that,� said Lui�s mother Fong. Fong and Susan, the other victim�s mother, both spoke today during a news conference in support of the bill. And if there�s one thing I�m sure of, it�s: no, you�re not sure of that. There�s absolutely no reason to believe that banning alcohol for everyone on the river would have saved your children�s lives. They were already breaking the law by drinking and driving, so why would you believe that they wouldn't be inclined to drink even though it was forbidden? But what chance do reason and logic have in the face of grieving mothers? A kid who drank too much and drove home killed his friends. Yes, that�s sad. But the issue is kids who drink too much and then drive home, not whether people shouldn�t be allowed to have a beer while they�re out rafting. But you can�t argue with a mother�s tears, because a mother who has lost a child is infallible. If you disagree with anything they say, you�re a monster. That�s why MADD is so good at pushing their agenda: tugging heartstrings helps tug the government�s purse strings, and then they�ll tell us what we can and can�t do �for our own good�.

What type of alcoholic are you?

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 17:43:40 MST

Don�t worry, it�s not an online quiz for posting on your Myspace profile. It�s an article from CBS News: a study finds that there are five distinct types of alcoholics. Looking at their list, I must have evolved at least once. I�m sure I started out as the �Young Adult Subtype�, but I must have worked my way up to the �Functional Subtype� somewhere along the way. And while I don�t match their age timeline, the �Young Antisocial Subtype� sure sounds familiar. Frankly though, this whole subtype thing seems a little simplistic. The first two are �young people who drink too much� but the reasons are different for each. Those are followed by �people who drink too much but somehow manage to go about their business anyway�, which is followed by �people who drink too much because their parents did� and finally �winos in the gutter�. I�m sure there has got to be more nuance than that.

Beer Review: Miller Chill

Fri, 29 Jun 2007 17:44:59 MST

I�ll be honest. I got a late start as a beer drinker. My drinking career began with vodka, and for a long time I didn�t particularly like beer, much preferring to stick with a bottle of Absolut. It�s funny, really. The first beer I started drinking regularly was Guinness. My friends, who knew that I wasn�t too keen on beer, would ask me �how come you don�t like beer, but you drink the beeriest beer there is?� And I dunno, that�s just how it happened. I drink beer freely now, but I�m not any sort of afficionado. Sure, these days I prefer quality imports and craft brews and hand pumped, cask-conditioned ales (PS: do you live around Boston? Go to redbones in Davis Square. they have these.); but when my dad comes over with a case of Old Milwaukee, I�ll knock back a few cold ones without any snobbery. So Miller recently came out with a new variety, the Miller Chill. The gimmick here is added flavors of lime and salt. Lime, that�s been done before by everyone who�s ever had a corona; but the salt� that�s something I�ve never had in a beer, and you know what? I really like it. When I do drink beer, I usually prefer dark beers, which Miller Chill certainly is not. It�s light, and not very strong� I mean, it�s Miller. But there�s something about the slight saltiness to it that I enjoy. People tend to like salty snacks with their beer anyway: chips, peanuts, pretzels, etc. Maybe adding the salt to the beer was a logical step. If anyone knows of a �quality� beer that has the same level of salty flavor, feel free to let me know and I�ll try it out. But for now, I�ll give Miller Chill a thumbs up.

is your bar a foreign embassy?

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 17:47:47 MST

i don�t smoke, but much like everything else in life, i support people�s rights to do as they will to their own bodies, and i support the right of property owners to decide for themselves whether or not to allow smoking on their premises. yeah yeah, �second hand smoke� bla bla bla; seriously, if you don�t like the smoke in a bar, go to a bar that doesn�t allow smoking. or stay home. if you work in a bar and you don�t like smoking, get another job. if you can�t get another job for some strange reason (i mean for christ�s sake, you work in a bar) i shouldn�t have to take your inability to make a living into consideration when deciding how i want to run my own business. anyway, this isn�t �smokesjournal�, but i just liked this story about a bar in england, where they�re apparently as uppity about smoking as many american munincipalities are, which has tried to skirt the rules by declaring themselves an embassy for a tiny carribean island whose �king� is a good friend of the pub owner. it probably won�t work out for them, and that�s too bad, but it�s refreshing to see a business owner try and buck a system that�s increasingly intrusive (on both sides of the pond.) i wonder if they have the same rules in england though, where you can�t even be drunk in a bar. we might be ahead of them on that one.

Even cops don�t trust breathalyzers

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 17:49:03 MST

There�s another follow-up regarding the Florida Sheriff�s Deputy who was fired after repeatedly arresting sober people for DUI. This time the story revolves around one of the people the fired deputy had arrested, herself a fellow deputy, driving home after having a few drinks with dinner. According to the arrest report, she had failed the field sobriety test, although an examination of the police video showed otherwise. I think the most telling part of the entire article is this: Blair said she declined to take the Breathalyzer exam that night because she thinks they are sometimes not calibrated correctly. So apparently even Sheriff�s Deupties think breathalyzers have a tendency to be inaccurate; an allegation that has spurred at least one lawsuit to allow defendants to analyze the source code that they operate on, and caused hundreds of cases to be thrown out when such requests were refused. The Sheriff was disappointed and had this to say: Sheriff David Gee said the machines are regularly calibrated by the state. �In that case, I�d have to say I was disappointed that one of our deputies wouldn�t take the test,� he said Wednesday. �If you�re not impaired, then why wouldn�t you take it?� Well Sheriff, it seems obvious to me. Since there are obviously unscrupulous officers out there who arrest sober people for DUI, maybe your own deputies have the right idea in not contributing to their own railroading. I think I�ll agree with the lawyers who say always refuse to take the breath test, regardless of whether you�re actually drunk or not.

The worst drinks ever

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 13:58:41 MST

Fresh off the heels of my own personal tale of disgust with gin and Bloody Marys comes this story: the ten worst drinks ever. While the article is clearly tongue-in-cheek, it did remind me of one more drink that is completely real and also absolutely revolting. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Clamato Cocktail. You may already be aware that I�m no big fan of Bloody Marys. Well, rest assured that adding clam juice will not make it any more appetizing. That�s right, vodka, tomato juice, and clam juice: a match made in heaven. DIGUSTING VOMIT HEAVEN.

Applebees: starting them young

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 12:25:34 MST

Thanks to a mishap involving identical unmarked containers, a baby at a California Applebees was given a margarita instead of apple juice. Applebees seems to have a history of serving the extremely underage. Last year an Applebees in New York apparently gave a 5-year old a long island iced tea, which resulted in a lawsuit. Once again, the confusion was over an order of apple juice. So the next time all you teenagers can't find your fake ID and get refused entry to all your local bars, head on down to Applebees and order a round of apple juice. You'll probably end up getting pretty hammered.

Gin and Me

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 23:50:41 MST

I don't like gin. When I tell people I don't like gin, they usually think it has something to do with a bad experience I've had: maybe I threw up once after too much gin? But no, that's not the case at all. The simple truth is that I don't like the taste. Can't stand it. It tastes like plants, or sticks or something. I've had Mojitos made with gin and they were almost tolerable, given the considerable amount of mint to mask the flavor. I also don't mind it in a Long Island Iced Tea, where its ginnish taste is completely lost, but otherwise I just won't drink gin. One time, years ago, I remember there was nothing in the house to drink except a bottle of my roommate's gin. I tried drinking some of it, but just couldn't do it. I didn't even have anything on hand to chase it with, so I had to get the taste out of my mouth by eating cold cuts. That's right, I was chasing my gin with slices of ham. I wrote a short vignette of a story once. It included a dialog between two girls that was somewhat autobiographical: "He gave me a bottle of gin, isn't that special?" "What's so special about that?" "He hates gin. Won't touch it. For a drunk like him to give me a bottle of something that's just for me - that he'll never drink; that's very special." For the record, there is only one other thing that I know of that I won't drink, and that's a Bloody Mary. Tomato juice? Pickled green beans? Are you kidding me? I can't swallow that shit. I guess the fact that there are things I won't drink means there is hope for me yet.

cop fired for arresting sober people

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 19:11:10 MST

I know there's controversy over whether having a 0.08 BAC really means you can't properly drive a car. I'm of the opinion that actual impairment shouldn't be tied to a one-size-fits-all number. However, there are some people who think so much as a sip of beer instantly makes you into a sloppy drunken muderer, just waiting to get behind the wheel and send their precious innocent children to an early grave. This over-zealous officer was obviously one of the latter. He doesn't believe impairment should be tied to a number either: "I don't prescribe to the theory that somehow you have to be 0.08 to be drunk or impaired," Brock, 38, told investigators. That's nice and all, but apparently he also doesn't care if you're actually impaired. Repeatedly, investigators found Brock reported failures in field sobriety tests when his patrol car videocamera documented the opposite. He wrote, for instance, that a driver on Oct. 25, 2005, lost balance while turning. The video of the encounter showed that wasn't the case. The driver blew a 0.01 in the breath test but was arrested anyway. He said drivers incorrectly recited the alphabet, used arms for balance and slurred speech -- when the video showed correct alphabets, perfect balance and clear speech. At the end of the article is this gem: Said Brock: "I mean, perfect world, we need more deputies and fewer people." Luckily for those of us who perfer not to live in a police state, he was fired from his job by the Sheriff's department. Frankly I think the punishment for cops who abuse the rights of the public this way should be much harsher, but what do I know? I'm just a drunkard. ADDENDUM: I was reading another article about this guy which had some more details, including this tidbit: A handful of times over the years, he was reprimanded or suspended for damaging patrol cars in what were deemed avoidable accidents. This cop, who is supposedly trying to stop drunk drivers because drunk drivers cause accidents, has been out there causing accidents. Now that they've fired him, maybe they should take his license away while they're at it, just like they did to the sober people he arrested.

south carolina wants to track kegs for some stupid reason

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 17:09:11 MST

just last week i mentioned how massachusetts used to (and maybe still does, i dunno) try all kinds of crazy schemes to stop college kids from getting kegs. well, i guess the state legislature of south carolina must have been listening, because they�ve gone and done the same. apparently they want to install tracking devices on kegs so they can determine if the keg is used to serve underage drinkers. the last few sentences of this opinion piece sum it up nicely: Whenever someone passes a law limiting the freedom of adults � and remember, in every legal sense an 18-year-old is an adult � I ask two simple questions: What�s the bad thing that�s happening that the government wants to stop, and can the government stop it without doing even more damage along the way? The 21-year-old drinking age fails both tests. There�s absolutely nothing bad happening when an 18-year-old has a beer. If he has a beer and drives, that�s a different story, but it�s no different from the 38-year-old drunk driver. Cracking down on drunk driving is public safety. Cracking down on drinking itself is a public nuisance. frankly i�m still not convinced that there�s a problem �if he has a beer and drives�, but i�ll concede that point for now, in order to agree with the overall sentiment. there is absolutely no reason the government should be telling adults what they can and cannot do, as long as they�re not causing anyone else any harm.

Baby Bottle Beer Chug

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 17:18:17 MST

this past weekend i attended a baby shower. luckily, it wasn�t as girly and stuffy as most baby showers, and one of the highlights of the event was a race to chug a baby bottle full of beer. this is much harder than it sounds. four guys and one girl (not the expectant mother, naturally) participated, with the girl ultimately winning. i didn�t feel any less manly for losing however (how much less manly could i get anyway, after trying to suck beer through a nipple for 15 minutes?) because she went on to describe how her sucking technique was her secret to success. so, more power to her. it was an interesting game, but be prepared to spend a lot of time on it unless you enlarge the holes in the bottles first.

alcohol powder

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 17:22:02 MST

this article about a group of dutch students inventing a powdered form of alcohol is full of goodies. first, there�s the subject matter. alcohol powder! that�s very clever, really. second, there�s the fact that the drinking age is 16 in the netherlands. why doesn�t america have as much faith in its kids as the dutch do? third, (and speaking of america) i can�t wait for the fallout in this country. i predict preemptive bans on all alcohol powder, much like the attempts to ban the alcohol nebulizer.

is it prohibition, or just corporate welfare?

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 17:34:55 MST

there was an article i read today about the state of michigan raising the deposit on kegs from 10$ to 30$ a keg. the story really isn�t that interesting, it�s just that people can get more than 10 bucks by selling the keg for scrap rather than take it back to the store where they got it. beer makers whined to the government, who then raised the price of the deposit to try and ensure people would bring the keg back. when i first read the headline, i thought it was going to be a story about the state raising prices to try and stop underage drinking or some nonsense like that, because years ago when i lived in boston, there was a period where the city and state passed a number of measures trying to make keg sales inconvenient so that college kids wouldn�t kill themselves at keggers. i�m sure it worked, and i�m sure there are no longer any keggers in boston. sarcasm, yes. so, i was glad to see that this wasn�t an act of prohibition on the part of the state of michigan, but was simply the state pandering to business interests as usual. however, it reminded me of something i learned when i moved to florida. you see, you can�t buy a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor in florida. the typical reasoning from the nanny state is that 40 ounces is too much, it encourages binge-drinking, it encourages teenagers to drink, etc. but what i learned was this: florida doesn�t just ban 40 ounce bottles, it explicitly defines what bottle sizes are allowed: 8oz, 12oz, 16oz, and 32oz. there have been efforts to repeal this, mainly by microbreweries who prefer a 22oz bottle, but also by miller brewing company. (according to this article from realbeer.com, the law was originally passed in 1965 thanks to much lobbying by anheuser-busch, who coincidentally used those very same sizes as their standard bottle sizes. miller, one of their biggest competitors, did not use the same sizes and had to suck it up when forced to change.) but it may surprise you who the biggest opponents are to repealing the size limitations. it�s not the prohibitionists, it�s BEER DISTRIBUTORS, as this report from the florida legislature outlines. if the state allows bottle sizes other than the ones currently mandated by law, the distributors will have to pay more for warehouse space, new crates, new boxes, truck space, and other costs of changing the way they do business. so for right now, we still don�t have 40s in florida. i don�t know if i�m happy that it�s not the state being prohibitionist, or if i�m sad that it�s the state using the law to help an industry that doesn�t want to compete without the help of the government. ADDENDUM: i just remembered another interesting example of the government passing regulations to cater to businesses that has an impact on the alcohol industry; i learned this on a winery tour once. apparently, wineries often buy barrels from whiskey distilleries in order to store and age their wines. the distilleries sell them because they�re not allowed to re-use barrels. why aren�t they allowed to re-use the barrels, you ask? because the BARREL MAKING INDUSTRY lobbied for that regulation. barrel makers! seriously, guys. if you can�t make money in your business, get another business.

Stocking up the Bar

Thu, 31 May 2007 17:39:13 MST

One thing I�ve always wanted but never really had the initiative or extra cash to get is a well-stocked bar. I�ve never been in a position to buy a wide variety of liquor at once, and when I buy bottles one at a time, they never last long. So here�s an interesting article from the Washington Post, in case you�ve got $300 bucks to invest in stocking your bar. Frankly, I think I could get a lot more for $300, but I�m really not picky. If I had to stock my bar with Albertson�s Supermarket brand liquor, I could live with that, and probably get twice as much. But the article above is pretty good if you�d like to get some quality booze.

The Czar and the Milk of Human Kindness

Thu, 31 May 2007 17:38:02 MST

this is a repost of an article written in 2006 Welcome gentle reader to the first next installment of this author�s libations reviews. We begin the series with a drink that has its roots in the anti-Bolshevik factions of the Russian Civil War of 1918-1922, the classic White Russian. But, in a twist that�s sure to make many a vegan heart skip a beat, we will be making this evening�s coctail with Silk brand vanilla soy milk instead of the usual cow-based alternative. It�s true, soy milk has become a regular fixture in this author�s refrigerator. Aside from being environmentally friendly, it has a much longer shelf life, and the vanilla flavoring is absolutely delightful. A typical White Russian would also use Kahlua brand coffee liquor, but instead we shall substitute Copa D�oro, which was bought from locals en M�xique during a recent excursion to the remote island of Cozumel. Hello, can you say �duty free�?? The traditional mixture of this traditional tincture calls for 1 part vodka, 1 part Liqueur de Caf�, and two parts milk, on the rocks, and that is how they were made for this review. The first sample was quite delicious. The vanilla flavoring of the Silk brand soy milk added a very sweet touch to the drink, and it is this author�s firm opinion that this is what God meant when he told Moses the Isrealites would be led to �a land flowing with milk and honey�. The second drink held as much mystique and charm as the first. The flavors danced upon the tongue as if Shiva himself was dancing madly to prepare for the destruction of the world. On the tongue. The third drink was also pretty good. The fourth drink was real good. the soy milk is yummy. i was thiking about how i went to mexico and i boutht this kahlua stuff at the duty free shop, that shit was like 10 bucks! carnival cruises are really fun but there are A LOT of hillbillies on board. a lot. i know i�m nt writing as though i�m really drunk but i�ve had like7 of these so far now. you should be really mpressed that i can tupe so well, fuckers. this is some really good shit.

BANZAI, MAKE IT A DRINKING GAME

Wed, 30 May 2007 17:06:22 MST

You may or may not remember the BBC�s Japanese TV show Banzai, which had a short run several years ago on Fox, and then until recently had been airing on G4 late at night. Banzai is absolutely the best show to build a drinking game around. The show is a collection of ridiculous �challenges�, and the viewers are asked to bet on the outcome. In our case, of course, that means �if you lose, you take a drink�. The show is hilarious to begin with, and adding a drinking competition to it just puts it over the top. Imagine a dozen drunkards screaming at the TV, encouraging their chosen contestant to find the dog poop hidden in a shoe. It gets to be a pretty wild party. Imagine my delight when I discovered that a Banzai DVD/Board Game was available on amazon.com! You will not go wrong getting that game. Have people over. Drink. Play. It will KICK ASS, I promise. Now I only wish that either they�d start playing Banzai on G4 again so I can record it they�d release all the episodes on DVD Of course, once you know all the outcomes of all the competitions, it�s not really fair to play against people who don�t� but you can still get drunk anyway.

liquor store can�t sell cups of ice

Fri, 25 May 2007 17:05:30 MST

i don�t know how it is now, but when i lived in new orleans there were drive-through daquiri shops, because the open container laws were such that passengers in a car could drink as long as the driver wasn�t drinking. i mean, that makes perfect sense, if you�re a rational person with a reasonable mind. if one is only concerned with stopping drunken drivers, then one should focus on the driver. the only reason to ban passengers from drinking is because �oh, well the driver may be trying to trick us, and may be drinking anyway, but the passenger is holding the cup!� (well if he�s drunk when you pull them all over, then fucking arrest him. how hard is that?) open container laws are really no more than thoughtcrimes, like drug paraphenalia laws. they take a perfectly legal item and make it illegal because of what the suspect might think about doing with it. anyway, georgia is obviously different from new orleans. apparently it is illegal for liquor stores to even sell cups of ice, because: NATURALLY if you have a cup of ice in your car, it means you�re going to mix your liquor with it if you don�t have any ice in your car, there�s no way you�re going to drink any liquor naturally, MADD has a problem with this liquor store that sells ice, (mostly because they have a problem with liquor stores that sell liquor), and they use completely rational (and not at all fallacious) arguments like: �They don�t know if that person that they just sold that alcohol to has kids in the car,� said Snead. and �What if your child gets killed or your loved one gets killed because of somebody who buys a cup in here and has a drink in here on the way home?� said James. you may already be aware of this, but this is a reminder: anytime anyone mentions children while they�re trying to convince you of something, they are probably lying to you.

dead drunk's family sues everyone

Fri, 25 May 2007 12:04:38 MST

It happens all the time: some asshole kills himself or someone else after driving drunk, and the bar he was drinking at gets sued. I'm not a fan of those kinds of lawsuits. As cavalier as I can be on the subject of drunk driving, I am still of the opinion that if your drunk ass causes an accident, it's your fault and yours alone. Still, even though I object to blaming the bar, I can see where these lawsuits are coming from. Here's what I absolutely can NOT fathom: the father of the dead drunk suing the driver of the tow truck that the drunk crashed into. Yes, that's right. He's suing the bar, suing the victim of the crash, and also suing the driver of the car whom the tow truck was there to assist. Maybe it's the fact that people like this exist that makes the world so unbearable that the rest of us need to get really really drunk. I wonder if I can sue them for that.

drunk news roundup

Sun, 20 May 2007 06:38:43 MST

here are some highlights from the past couple of weeks: first on the block: we've all heard that having a few drinks prevents heart disease, well here's some more good news. Drinking also prevents cancer! that's especially good news for korean women, who apparently love getting shitfaced. tv's david faustino apparently loves getting shitfaced as much as korean women. i've never been a fan of manipulating statistics or using appeals to emotion for the purposes of fearmongering, so it is with much schadenfreude that i report the ironic tale of a MADD volunteer arrested for DUI. and finally, i know you've probably seen this already, but it would be remiss of me not to post a link: david hasselhoff can't hold his liquor.

The Crazy Bootlegger

Fri, 18 May 2007 14:55:46 MST

A while ago my wife and I got on a Camel Cigarettes mailing list or something even though neither of us smokes, so whatever. Anyway, every now and then they'll send us some Camel merchandise which usually gets thrown out, but last year they sent some coasters with drink recipes on them. These coasters were actually mentioned on CNN while news anchors Soledad O'Brien, Miles O'Brien, and Andy Serwer discussed how this promotion was "encouraging excessive drinking" and then were completely amazed that a drink might have three kinds of alcohol in it. Here's a transcript, from December 14, 2005: SERWER: Soledad, interesting to know how you feel on this one, where you come off on this. R.J. Reynolds, the maker of Camel cigarettes, are sending out drink coasters to young people on their birthdays. And this has got them under fire by attorney generals in California, Maryland and New York state because these coasters have drink recipes on them that seem to encourage excessive drinking. Here we go. This one says the Crazy Bootlegger. And the Crazy Bootlegger is mix three shots together over ice, then make sure you're sitting. OK. And what else do we have here? The Blue in the Face. If you turn green, you're doing it wrong. They are recipes for exotic drinks that seem to encourage people to be drinking a lot. The Sweet Burner. Pour over ice, then let it burn! And you can see you've got Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort and Sambuca (ph), for instance, in the Crazy Bootlegger. I've drank all three of those but never together. MILES O'BRIEN: (INAUDIBLE), that's all in one drink? SERWER: Yes, that's in one drink. SOLEDAD O'BRIEN: Wow, that's three shots. MILES O'BRIEN: Oh my goodness. Wow. SERWER: Yes. And so, you know, you have to sign up at a bar with an R.J. Reynolds' rep to receive these coasters. You have to be over 21. So you're sort of, you know, partaking. On the other hand, some of the young people in the "L.A. Times" article said they didn't smoke except when they drank. from: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0512/14/ltm.07.html WOW THREE SHOTS. OH MY GOODNESS! WOW! Anyway, I just wanted to say that I've had a couple of those Crazy Bootleggers, and they are wonderful. The lightweights on CNN are right though, they're also powerful. I'm no slouch, but a couple of those knocked me on my ass right quick. It's especially insidious because they're so SMOOTH they go down real easy. So I recommend making yourself some Crazy Bootleggers, and also challenging the CNN anchors to a drinking contest. From the looks of it, you will win. 1 shot Jack Daniels 1 shot Southern Comfort 1 shot Sambuca Serve it on the rocks. Delicious!

southern comfort mango freeze

Thu, 17 May 2007 14:01:17 MST

I used to live in New Orleans for a while, and every year i'd go to the French Quarter Festival and get myself a drink that i could only find at the Southern Comfort sponsored booth: the Southern Comfort Mango Freeze. I was reminded of those recently for some reason, and I remembered that I had the recipe. It's deceptively simple, but if you like frozen drinks go ahead and make yourself one of these: Ingredients: 6 oz. Island Oasis all natural mango concentrate 1 oz. Southern Comfort Method: Pour ingredients into blender and fill with ice. Blend until smooth. I'd recommend going ahead and making it a little stronger (try 2 oz. of SoCo), but it's damn good.

Drinking at home is bad! Or maybe good!

Tue, 15 May 2007 17:28:54 MST

There's been a lot of talk on the news recently about Florida's soon-to-materialize crackdown on people supplying kids with alcohol at home. One recent article in particular comes from the St. Pete times, for reference: http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05/15/News/Adults_told__no_booze.shtml I can understand why it might not be a good idea to get other people's kids drunk, but then there's articles like this one from the University of Florida: http://news.ufl.edu/2007/04/17/alcohol-kids/ with comments like this: In most states, parents can legally provide alcohol to their children inside the home. Some parents may do this because of cultural or religious events, but Komro said she thinks parents should be cautious about the message this sends to teens. So what "message" is that, exactly? That sometimes you can have a drink and it's ok? That sounds like a perfectly reasonable message. Or should we instead be sending the message "drinking alcohol is always bad; there are no exceptions; your 'cultural or religious events' are irrelevant"? Luckily, in the face of hysteria we have the voice of reason: scientific studies! Drinking at home 'cuts bingeing'

Little Water (or: why didn't the Irish invent vodka)

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 13:39:13 MST

Ask people, �what is vodka made from?� and most likely they�ll reply �POTATOES YOU IDIOT�. But as it happens, most modern vodkas aren�t made from potatoes at all. Grey Goose, that�s some fancy vodka, right? Yeah, it�s made from wheat. Absolut? Yeah, that�s not made from potatoes either. Smirnoff, Skyy, Stoli� none of those have so much as a french fry inside them. Most vodka is distilled from corn or rye. So what can the potato-hungry vodka lover do? They can drink LUKSUSOWA. Luksusowa (that�s pronounced �look-so-sova�) is a Polish vodka that is actually made from potatoes. Contrary to popular belief, vodka was not invented in Russia, but in Poland. In fact (or so I am told) the word Vodka is a diminuitive variation on the polish word �woda�, which means �water�. I�ve got more than a little pollack in me, so i�m always excited to find something that makes up for our lost recipe for ice cubes. I think Luksusowa is the answer. One sip and you�ll never make another pollack joke again! Unless it�s the one about the solar powered flashlight. Luksusowa is a smooth, triple-distilled vodka, and anyone who fancies themselves a vodka fan would be well served to pick up a bottle to go with their pierogis and kielbasa. If you don�t like it, you can go ahead and tell that joke about the submarines. I�ve heard it before anyway. SUGGESTED USE: in ancient times, vodka was used as an aftershave. my suggestion: DRINK THIS SHIT STRAIGHT. SCORE: 3 brass monkeys and a fifth of Early Times

I love Scotch, Scotchy Scotchy Scotch

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 19:33:34 MST

Twelve years ago I was in my senior year of high school, mere months away from graduation, OJ Simpson hadn�t killed anyone yet (that we know of), and the other Simpsons were still funny. Also twelve years ago, some guy in Scotland sealed up a cask of fine Scotch whiskey and it began its wait until it could be consumed by discerning Scotch drinkers of the present day. I like Scotch. Sure, I like it fine. But Scotch is really damn expensive for some reason. I�m not even talking about insanity like Johnny Walker Blue, with its god damn two hundred dollars a bottle bullshit. Even regular Scotch costs a lot in comparison to the other concoctions you�ll find on the shelf of your local liquor store. Almost all the Scotch up at Thirsty Liquors (my Packie of choice) was in the 30-40 dollar range (which surprised me since when I lived in New Orleans I used to be able to pick up a bottle of Chivas Regal at the gas station across the street for like 20 bucks). I think the Scotch section may have been second only to the Tequila section in terms of average priceyness, and that�s probably only because they didn�t carry Usquaebach. But the wife and I, we were in a Scotchy mood, and I�m afraid only Scotch was going to suffice for tonight. Then I saw it. There on the bottom shelf, tucked into the corner and bearing a price tag of only 19.99 was OLD SMUGGLER. Three years ago, I was living in a tiny one room apartment in Metairie, Louisiana and working for a now defunct online hotel booking company. The Space shuttle Columbia had just been destroyed, and no one knew yet that Martha Stewart was a fucking crook. Also three years ago, some guy put the lid on a bucket of OLD SMUGGLER and let it sit in his basement until it could be enjoyed by the gasoline-swilling motherfuckers who buy Scotch for 19.99, i.e., me. Don�t get me wrong. OLD SMUGGLER is not all that bad. But I could have bought the same size bottle of KARKOV VODKA for half the price and been just as drunk. I guess what I�m trying to say is there�s absolutely no point in buying cheap Scotch because cheap Scotch is exactly like cheap Anything Else, and cheap Anything Else is cheaper. But for tonight I�ll remember the good ol� days of 2003, when my bottle of OLD SMUGGLER was born, and I�ll hear the sounds of bagpipes and Braveheart in my head and maybe I�ll steal your wife or your freedom or smash your face with this sweet ball and chain or what the fuck am i talking abou Usquaebach is some good shit. SCORE: nineteen zimas, but only fifteen smirnoff ices

WHY NO POSTS

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 14:54:03 MST

yo listen up all you mother fuciing bitches that read this site cause i know yours out whtere. Listen up whores. i have been dirnking alot lately. aminyl fro your viewing pleasure./ but you know what? you fucking fuckfacegfagdifkc eaters nmever post shit. and its pissing me off. WHAT THE EHLL IS YOUR DEAL ANYTWAY? don't even tell me you're too good for this site. cause lemme tell you, yiou're NOT. shit heads. so anyway,. FUCKING USE THIS SITE, I DON'T WANT TIT TP SHIT DOWN, ASSFUCKS. so anyway. i was driniking a dn watching dave chappell. that is one funny ass motherfuckoing crayz funny fuckc. he's just funny dude, seriously, watche his shit and drin, it;llm be awsesome. meanwhoiel. i'm graeat and super rad and die i hate you bitches PS APIOEHJOIFTHSOIRHOHSDOSDHFLSDFBALLLLLLLLSz

eijfj sdfdsjf drunk people are stupid

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 00:04:19 MST

wo sos sukm the last theersptn foc uckings hti chagne this cmaneuuos im like ahwat the fuck does analised mena i dont egven remmbere hwy i rewrote that anywa so likes ahot fuckou foij ilike ob eoijts tbee fun ok oits like in that dark iadn alim liake tsaring at my fingers going typinging at the shit and im thinkint athat i mustbe stg egneisus nbut im not butua imaybe4 i am but im not anwyay how are you imve bees en sitting here at the efire so long

me i'm gool, i am so drink

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 01:59:10 MST

whudddp homeses. so yeah, i've been drinking adnd what? thats what i thogutth you brokess ass nigggas tryings tot represente and shits. I FUCKING DOMINATED SHIT LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THSUT HAPPENS!??! anywa. so i won at darts at ehe e bar. making me pretty muchcss dart champion the opf the world ever. also, theys siuper bowl is sotmormorwo. eagles win the super bowlw because new englasd has legalized fag marriage. hmoemos. gog eta some ffags cokcs, fags/ anyway, kusts notficed something. my own drunsk quaote is tatt the top of this pages. impressive, i;ds sure sdsay/ i'll atetemp copy and opasting for youtrsde viewing pleasures. "Mikey "MULLET MANIA!!" - 07-26-03 1:15AM ui hope i'm stlldriml wjem o doe" i'm sstill not sure thwta that says. i ruel.. fuck all ya'lls that don't recogniziee. i hope you know i keep it ganfstera, and aby gansta i mean kil your fucking bitchass. BITCH and i'm out, homogfayfags

i fell off the wagon

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 23:46:10 MST

aqnwya so its been a fucking whioe like that i have even known that this shita bout has been around lir rosm e cause like some fags hasnt told me anyting about it. naywa like yeahh like i was on rs for awhile and liesk i think that everyone hre on his like on rs too but like now im not because i was like fuck this anhsit. anyuway i like stopepd rinkging for a long time and i was like ok so likes i wont post to drunk anaal anaymore and i like that was like ok cause i likes yeah fine no more drunk jouranl anyway speecially after my mom googled me and shit that sucked ok so heres i am and like i totally drunk toight and it was weird cause i liked havent been drunk in awhile oh wait like itw as thursday and i drank then but befure thtne i wasn terunk in amd long time cause i like turned sxe or something ok wait i dont even rember remember my name on here i thikn its saranyi or sarahi hi aoso like i figure i can be like like make it like xxxsaraxx or somes hit but tahts so fucking cliche and i fucking hate cliche shit ok so im done with this for now cause i gotta sleep and eating foa do im eating food wait wia s given a n assignemtn it was loaf much cock hole ok bye

SEND THE PACKATGE

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 20:17:51 MST

RRARRARRR oh man i'm really tired i think i want to go to bed. we got THE PACKAGE today it's the robtskull package and it was from lexdysic and it was cool, she got a book and it was on my wishlist so that's pretty rad PRETTY RAD FOR A WISH LIST STALKER hahahaha no seriously thanks my cat snores a fucking LOT hahaha i'm fucked!! katy s cuttinf me off and making me go to bed! you losers wich you had a girl like that SO LONG SUCKERS

EAGLGESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Sun, 30 Jan 2005 23:47:07 MST

yo whuddup fag nuts? thats whayt i thoguht. so i've been dirnking, you know, holdin it down on the drunk tip and shit/ anyway, so its all likes eagles playing in the supsopern bowl and the patriots suck cause i hate them alswaort. they are pretty muchc dfarsfs and tom brady likes loicking balls. if you don't like the eagles or worse, like the patreuioits,. i think i hate you. actually, come to tink of it, of you like the oats, i hope you die. in a fire. slowly. and emtls alot cause that ws what happens.

oh man drinking

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 19:26:53 MST

guys!!! i'm rather tipsy! it has been quite some time since i've last posted! i've had 3 drinks, and am a little bit drunk! my tolerance has droped drastically! well. i think i'll just contradict eveyrthing mikey says by saying i lvoe you all, and that everything is peachy these days :) byuebye!!

Alabama High Society

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 01:10:52 MST

So, in Mobile, girls making their debut is a huge process. In many other cities, debutantes are presented in one huge ball, or in a weekend of parties, or something. In Mobile, the process begins on the night of Thanksgiving and lasts until Mardi Gras day, and in between there are parties constantly. Several every weekend during the school year, then also one basically every lunchtime and night over Christmas break. What this means for me is that, since I was pretty good friends with these girls in high school, I am invited to many parties that involve socializing with Mobile High Society and drinking lots of alcohol for which I did not pay. Tonight was not extraordinary: I was at some house in the swank part of town, where the meals served were: grilled oysters, hot wings, slices of Conecuh sausage. I shit you not. Also, open bars, catered entirely by: African Americans. God bless integration! So I think really the best part of all this is coming back and seeing shitloads of people from high school, but now with their horizons somewhat broadened by the experiences and different viewpoints introduced to them by college, while their inhibitions are simultaneously lowered by open-bar alcohol. This post really has no narrative thrust at all, I'm just spilling shit from my buzzed mind. I just typed lke 18 lines worth of rhetoricql quesitosn about tonight that wouldn't be at all interesting to anybody else, which I just realized, so I deleted them. In conclusion, I hooked up with a girl from my high school who look slike Leah Remini an dwho either actually listnes to good musoc now or was just pretending because she wanted to hook up. High school people four years later are awesome, espsecially mnixed with alcohol. Fuck you Mikey, and Chris make me a fucking author you asshole. Joby fornicates with oxes

anal isd saslvation!

Sat, 11 Dec 2004 04:38:55 MST

dued i donts really under stand why chrsi is so angy. i can KDIN fo understards that hes pissed because he loks liek the fasgot from q and anot you with ethe marekers on his face but really. chris qwuit being such a faggot. samadn todkl me that tyou emasculates him at etht hallowen partyy when you choekdd him out, and really tha it just sad because hes not especially masculeins to being with. tonight iwent to teh casino,. and the pit boss was this HOT ASS ALITTLE MEXICO GIRL. she was eyeing me but you know. anyway, you knwot he kind of tits thagt are like, big, and when they wear a bra, they just kine of lie in the bra and stick out, but not bulgy like, just like, laying in the bra, all hards anf grabby? harda and grabby, that is all i have to asy about those tits. she wanted my dicks and i am the KINHG. we lost money. it was suhweet. we madee thsi beer that was sipposed to be an ipa but it tuenrsd out to be htis super alcoholic matly thing instead that got me WAY WASTED tongith. way awastred continuesd:! pray for that pits boss girls and boys for i am going to anal hre soon enoguh. LIES ALL LEIS also none of the girsl ons rs give up the ass excetp for the rad one...or two.

drunkjournal updates and news

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 20:32:01 MST

ok buttcracks! i gave myself an hour or two to get warmed up so here we are GUESS WHAT DRUNKJOURNAL IS BACK IN ACTION! i have made a l;ot of changes. first, you may notie that drunkjournal.com dosn't point to drunkjournal.com anuymore. that was an ecomnomic decsion because hosting two separate sites was a pain in the ass. NEXT i got rid of the galleries because they were a pointless waste of time (ps: http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com is funny) i left the drunk quotes and archives intact IN SPITE of the fact that some of the people involved are amontg my most hated people now!! it's journalistic integrity or sometihgn, i don't know, go fuck yourself. drinkng games are gone too because that was kinda stupid and no one came up with any good ones. so NOW! i cut down the people who can post by a WHOLE FUCKING LOT and if i didn't leave you able to post i proably don't care and if you want t o post you can probably suck my dick and when i cum in your mouth i'll laugh at you and go "ha ha you can't post anyway you dick sucking fag" i think my opinion on the subject of you wanting to post is pretty clear you can comment, tho, you shitfucers comment all you want make fun of the drunks we really care, it will really hurt our feelings, and i know that's wha t you want so go for it drunkjournal is BACK IN ACTION

sad state of affairs on drunkjournal

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 21:44:01 MST

iam sad but not really and not really surprised2 weeks! it's been 2 weeks since anyone posted here. wow!where did all the drunks go? where's joe and rob and kevin and their ilkwhat has become of the drunk journal?!see, i sound so what's that wordsentimental about it, but really WTF who cares about drunkhjournal? i sure don't.i'm so torn! i thought getting some sexsexworlders overhere would make it a little better, but that fucking place went out of business like a week after i joined as an affiliate.WHATEVER GUYS, HAVE FUN COMMENTING ON TTYPX i don't really have anything to say, i just figured an update was overdue.oh and also i will reiterate: i am going to switch webhosts soon. so DJ will be down for a bit sometime nbext week. try not to miss it too much.also: if zombies were running amok and you all tried to get into my shopping mall, i'd kill every last one of you without batting an eye

i hate my job.

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 00:38:09 MST

every friday and saturday night i deal with the same crap. fucking trashy ass motherfuckers spend every last dollar they have on food because they like adding to the fat deposits growing on that massive thing they call an ass. ] �LEMME GET A DOOOBLIINER WIF THE SKRIMPS. YEH. THE STEAK AND SKRIMPS. I LIKE MINES WELLLL DUUUUN. MMMMHM OH YEH. AND LEMME GET A FULL RACK OF RIBS. IS DEY PORK ? CUZ I CANT BE EATIN NO BACON. ITS AGAINST MY RELIGION N SHYT. I NEED A VIRGIN STRAWBERRY DACKERIEEE TO WASH DAT SHIT DOWN YO. THEN WHEN IM FINISHED I NEED 2 DESSERTS CUZ IM A FUCKING SLOB.�Then when its time to pay �DA BILL� they�re counting pennies and shit for my tip. fuck that. if you cant afford to tip your server, or just dont want to� mcdonalds is open 24/7. stay the fuck out of my restaurant.

tit, liquor and women

Sat, 13 Mar 2004 03:16:14 MST

yo i'm drunk. i saw this tit tonight. it was an aweosme tit. i mean, i t was awaome. like damn that's some tit. i was all like " damn theats some nice tit" anyway, still drunk. uikyes. so like tits and also butts and awlso aweosme. i really rtruely hate you all. except tits. HORRAYT FOR MOTHERIFUCKING TITS AND SHIT. asians like shit, because they like beingpoooped on. psBALLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

drink recipe: Flaming Dr Pepper

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 11:50:52 MST

3/4 shot Amaretto151 proof rum1/2 glass Beer Drink DirectionsFill the shot glass about 3/4 full with Amaretto and top it off with enough 151 to make it burn. Put the shot glass in another glass and fill the new glass with beer (right up to the level of the shot glass). Light the Amaretto/151 and let it burn awhile. Blow it out (or leave it burning if you're brave) and slam it. Tastes just like Dr. Pepper.

do it mikey, bang that chick

Mon, 08 Mar 2004 23:56:18 MST

i wish mikeywould just nail the jawn and get it over with. the wholenight we were watching dave chappelle drinking and shit and he's like INEEDT O HIT IT SHES FUCKNGHOTOTTT.. ANDapparently we're having a 3some with some smoking chick with a mini shkirt on. we need it. he's gonna pound the vag and i'll siton her cute little face. yeah. thats hott asfuck. anywya, mikey rocks and girls shouldwanna do him.

drunkjournal technical difficukys

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 01:00:34 MST

i tried to chack tha DJ mai today nad it says "TEMORARY FILE ANNOT BE WRTTIEN"that's some wuality shiti just re-read what i just wrote.that's some quality shit too.i have a job now, if you didn't know.if you didn;'t then you're someone who i don't know and you suck and who cares what you knowalso METAL ARMS: GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM is a pretty good game. it's ver y hard. btut very good. i like it.i like having a jobi am really way too drunk to eeven do this.wow

drinking is silly shit

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 23:32:28 MST

ok, so it was some dudes birthdays and shit. so obviously, since he's 21 and all, i had to go drink right? RIGHT. so i did. it was fun. played photo hunt, and kicked it ass HARD with the help of my assistents, which was pretty much evertyone in the fucking joint. WOERD. stil didn't set the high score, thats mey c=gaol. but yeah, there are mad birthdays in march, like holy FUCK. mine isn't till september, so fuck yous./ asnyway. so the staint joes game was on. HOLY FUCK CHRIS GUESS WHAT!? THEIR COACH AND THEIR VERST PLAYER EVER ARE FROM CHESTER! WHY DON'T YOU GET A BONER NOW AND STICK IT IN A DUDES MOUTH, YOU CHESTER LOVING BEING FROM FAG. also, they are beatint ght motuherfucking BONNIES OF STAIN AT BONNEVENERES by like 40 or somthing. they seriously lick balls. this post is overPS BALLZ

SCHOOLS CANT BE DRUNK AT SCHOOL

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 23:20:34 MST

i wish i was more drunk than i am rightnow. however, IHAVETO GET UP EARLY FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW. FUCK. i wish qdz didn't drink as much and iwish mikey would have drank more. 21st bdays have been awesome so far. speaking of which, mine is in 3 fukcing days!!! word

Drink recipe: Fargo

Mon, 01 Mar 2004 11:41:50 MST

Start with 4 parts vodka in a cup. Add 4 parts milk (skim works best) and 1 part rum. Stir briskly, then microwave on high for 15 seconds. Remove immediately after heated, then add a generous portion of ice shavings. Cover the top with a moderate amount of Tabasco Sauce. Drink the whole goddamn thing as quickly as you can, then try to talk with a Minnesotian accent. If you do not understand this reference, I don't think we can be friends.

yeah, i be drunk again, aint that grand?

Sat, 28 Feb 2004 21:31:57 MST

something about rum and coke that makes me feel good, liek i really like coke and i really like rum, so both of them put together is the greatest thing, well maybe asami mao bending over wearing a sailor suit is better, but rum and coke is pretty high up there.you know i got like pretty l9ng hainr now? i haven't had it cut in 7 odd months so it's getting pretty long and such, i dfont think i'll have it cut for sme time either, i want uber long hair again for some reson, i had pety long hair most of my life, sept for the pat 5 or 6 years lets say when i kept it really sh9ort, now i want it really long again. i was looking at this video of me some 7 or 8 years ago and i had super long hair, it looks odd cuz not only was ity long, i think i had alot more of it, age sucks your hairt gets thin :P well i guess 28 is'nt OLD per say, but it is older then when i was 21 so it's pretty old i guess.i was thinking of somethign last night, i think it was macross, rememebr that? most people know it as robotech but i always call it macross afetr the best season of it, you'd know what i was talking about if you were a robotech freak. minmei was like the first anime babe ever, and she was a singer and stuff, she was naked in macross the movie, it was the scene fans had wanted for 10 years and then they put her in the shower andall was right with the world.rememebr like 2 weeks ago when i was talking about that girl leilei? well for some odd reason she stopped talkign to me for 2 weeks, and then she just liek talked to me again liek nothing happened, shes an odd person, i wanna do her so bad it aint evern funny, well it kindda is, but really, she's hot. i think shes messed up in the head, but then agaiun she likes me so that kindda makes it obvious. it's like i i really want girls for sex and love and all that, but if any girl likes me in that way i think they're crazy or weird for likeing me, is that an odd thing? i think i'm kindda scared of women either that or i really want to gut them and bathe in their blood and cut out their lying black hearts and eat them, haha, umm yeah, i'd be a serial killer, but i',m too lazy, killing people just smacks of effort ya know?speaking of girls, and minmei and macross this little ditty has been on my mind the whole week, it's from one of minmeis songs, to be in love...a world of things we've never seen beforewhere silver suns have golden moonsand every year has thirteen juneshaha, i want that on my fucking tombstone, and if any girl can sing that with real feeling i'll like marry them or somethign hmmm, another funny song fro,m a song that i'm listening to right now called ass-ghanistan by MOD has a line.. some fucking jihadyou said the blood will flow like a riverwhat you didn't know was the blood is yours from the ass kicking that we deliver!haha, i love this country, we kick more ass before breakfast then some countrys kick all day, vote republican!!! i know i will ^_^ so yeah, i wrote alot again, i gotsome mouth when i'm drunk, i guess it's cuz i never say anythign at all when i'm regualr, so i become a normal person when i'm drinking and i talk and can hold conversations. oh another thing i was thinking of, i heard one of my favorite songs tonight, Lola by the Kinks, i love that fucking songs, it's part 1 of my 3 part ryoko set, where i change the words of popular oldies to fit my crazy world view with my dearest ryoko as the main person. "lola" is 1, "rio" is 2 and "my shirona" is 3. tho speaking of "rio" EGM had a review of some game with a character nmaed rio, and the title of the review was called "her name is rio, and she dont understand" i laughed my ass off when i read that. rio is just the best song ever and if ytou dotn liek it your an alien or a communist or somethign really bad :Puhhh, yeah, you know if this site ever went away, i'd have no where to vent, so like "dear moronic dictator dont trash this site, it rules brother" i like haveing somewhere to write shit, hmm, maybe i should get m own place again, like maybe when i move to miami i'll put up my new place, would peopel go there? i bet they would cuz i fucking rule and i'm super cute too, tee hee. k, laterz slags!

THIS JUST IN FILM AT 11

Sat, 28 Feb 2004 02:45:49 MST

this just in DIRNKIN IS SUPERIOR TO YOU. Clinical terest show dirnking increases your level of great ness over 2507347% oddly enough. go figfure! IN adidaiton, it alwso makes you supers totoaly great! THIS IS BREKAING NEWS FUCKERS! go out and see our new oadd in NEWWEKELYS then, we;'ll your purchasing lousy periidcaoicals, get yourself a classy issue of high societyy. clearly the magiIzne of manly menss,. so also, dirnk more peopls. i odn't have ntohignt o read. ok, back to yours regularyl scheuded post. BITCHES AIN'T NTOHIGN BUT WHOES AND SHIT

for the record, notes about drunk journal

Sat, 21 Feb 2004 01:10:10 MST

let's set a few things straight.sam didn't invent drunkjournal (LEAH)also, it doesn't suck (at least not in the way you think LEAH)i used to be such a fan, too. pity.ANYWAYjoey bought a knife for katy like a year ago and i had no idea. it was a henckles. quality! it cost 60 bucks. i think someone stole it because it's not around here anymore. some slut stole it, maybe. i just learned about that today.no worries, we're gonna get a new set of knives. they're not as good as henckles but i like them. they FEEL nice. nice weight, good ergnomic grip, they're PRETTY good. they're at dillards. I TRIED THEM OUT.OH BY THE WAY it's official now! i guess it's been official for a while, but i'm getting around to telling people now how official it is... katy and i are getting married. yes! it's true! none of you idiots are invited, so piss off.*the internet made us get married, isn't it weird? i've been talking to her for maybe 2 years... it's been just about a year since i met her in real life for the first time and slightly less than a year than i decided she was the girl for me. it's been about 6 months since we've been living together and even though our opionions on the subject of death metal seem utterly irreconcilable, we tend to stick togehter anyway. wonderful!the first time i ever talked to katy on the phone she said i was dull! isn't that silly? NOW WHO'S DULL, WOMAN???one time on the phone she made some gay men talk to me. and one time on the phone she made me do a shot even though i was on the wagon that week. i only did one shot tho, which was fine. one time she made some japanese guy talk to me and i talked back in my horrible broken japanese but he was amused enough. those japs are easily impressed when a gaijin can speak even a modicum of their crazy-ass languaeg.joe was there too that tmie, i think.THIS STORY IS OVERps:katy <3*some of you idiots ARE invited. if you are, you already know it.

WAFFLE HOUSE

Thu, 19 Feb 2004 04:14:32 MST

i drunk, i have to say, god bless waffel house.i went over there at like 3 am, driven by this ridiculously hot woman, who was sober (damn her), and i ordered some shit that i really dont recollecxt at the moment. i think it was a patty menlt somethng balh. it had onions on it unfortuantely, this did not help my chahnces. whatever this woman at waffle house had like 2894 cool buttons on her waffle house visor. i kept telling her she ahd good buttons, but i think she just ghought i was drunk. ok, so maybe i told her like 5 times. so what, i mweant it. walkmen button = 3waffle house "SCATTERED AND TOPPED" button = 4093804.whatever, pleas eif youre a hot girl just sit on my face, otherwise hey, yes

drinking girls valentiens

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 22:59:24 MST

ack, i be drunk, i kindda miised drinking, it's liek not all that expensive too but i just dont seem to drin kthat muc no mo, whats up with that? huh? it kindda suck when i dont go out to drink cuz i cant see really hot girls, all i se is my wall, thats no fun, not that i get much fun outta girls i see in bars but i guess it's a little better cuz sometimes they touch me and give me drunken kisses, yo know?i actually went out and bough almost expensive beer tonight, heineken, heh, it's liek 8 bux a six pack, i be rich or somethign, and like coco flava bacardi rum, it's yummy yummy, so i be drunk off my ass tonight, not shit faced but pretty drunk you knwo the feeling, iv'e been so drunk that i could even post on here, man ithats fun, puking and having your eyes spin, yee haw! frosty mug!!!you know today is valentines day? thats pretty neat, i go this rock heart thing i bought 2 years agoi for myslef thats kindda cool, i look at it somtimes, it'll last longer then anythgin i have, liek in 1000000 years it'll still be a heart shapped rock, but there wont be any humans around to care, kinda odd dontcha thing? i wish i had a valentines special anime or somethign so i could have a valentinse traditon like i way=tch it just once a year ya knoe, i do have a valentinse comic that pretty funny tho' im trying to redo it in modern age graphics but its seems so hards to draw a comic these days, thats no fun, i think i wanted to be a comic artist whille i was grownig up, did'ntr quite tuen out that way, but i dunno, it could still happen, if i practice liek at least once a day, drawing is'nt that hard or nothign, i just dotn seem to do it anymore, go figyou know i kindda alomost actually have a girl now, i met her online which kindda makes her fake i guess, but she s cool online and aon the phone so thats cool, she of course is a cutie AKA a little asian girl, but then thats what i always end up with so there ya go, she happens to live in the city i'm gunna be moving too in a month or so Miami, Miami is lots differnt from Boston, liek it's sunny and stuff, almot all the time, sept when its raning, but it doesnt snow, so thjats cool. so anyway,this chick is a hotty, i have no idea why she likes me, well, actally i do, i'm liek a nice guy,a nd ll the guys shes been with ahve been not nice guys, so i a change of pace, i dont know why i'm a nce guy, i have no reason to be, well mayb e i do, idunno, i a weid guy thtas all i know, thats cool too. her names leilei i call her reirei all the time, that makes her laugh so thats cool too. you knwo, the tea party has some really good songs, both eges of twilight and trasmistion are realy good cds, check em out if your into canandian prog rock, heh, they also have a killed cover of paint it black, thats liek uber cool, i lieten to music all the time, not haing a tv makes that happen i guess, but it[s cool, music is good! and lemmy is god! 10 points to anyone who can tell me where that comes from!! uhh, yeah, i'm drunk and i made a long post, i liek doin gthat, it;s fun, i pay the doctor bill baby so i break what i want! yeah!

you should drink more booze

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:32:02 MST

you whats uyp?! wow, dno oens been drunk since me. POANTHITIC! you weak ass bfakte mother fuckigns dirunks fags. get on the ball fdlreasrady. I read thuis site form school anwhen i have tnohting wlese to fo. the least you oculd do is dirnk more to make ym days go by omore entieretrtainsed. liek seorsply! buyt antwya. i thi kw hat i am freally gfetting at is that ou need ot dirnk more, and post more. for if you doin't post, the site willm og waya, and thats gucjkigbn GAY./

VOTE FOR WHICKSY

Sun, 08 Feb 2004 00:56:17 MST

yeah yeahe syeha so fufckf yoiu btiches. whiskey is wheres its at. if toyu don't know, you ebrtets AXE sopmebaody./ and you shoulfd asxe them, cause then ethey'd be DEAD./ anw76aysd, ui worked tonight, and i smell like stasrh now. man, workes is lame. but anwyays, yeah. i dounno what i'm tlaking about. on a totally unrealted note. how awesome am i,. serious? lets poll that shitts. VOTE MNOWS!

Drunkposting causes nothing but problems

Fri, 06 Feb 2004 03:04:38 MST

So I shouldn't even bother,I've x'd all this shit because it would get me in trouble with people that I (unfortunately) love. What a goddam waste of time. C'est la vie. Only this: It is not good. It is a waste. K.

polidicks alabama government idiots

Sat, 31 Jan 2004 03:35:31 MST

holy fuxk.tarron, jerod, and damian have been hanging out in my room, whts up. repretsent. we talked about how the northeast has no black peopoel, therefore the new hapmshire primary doesnt repretsent shit compared to the motherfuckinjg aalbama primary, motherfucker. actually they didnt vgive a shit about the alabama primary, they just wantedto go to ihpop. which is finje with em. farewell, jerod, t3rron, and damina. may NC A&T bless you well, love, will

EAT SHIT

Thu, 29 Jan 2004 22:55:02 MST

yo, word uyp? so i went to this bar thing. and this fat sdisgusting girl i work iwth was cleebrity baretender. i dunno what makes her a dvcelrbity, shes anfat ugly and annyoing. so we got htere, andi was like WHIKEY ME WOMANS. and she dide. so this gfirtls shows up, her name was meredetih or some shit. SHE HAD A SKIRTYT AND LEG WARMERS ON. HOT. yeah. theyn i left cause ym ride left. i ahve a test tomorrow, MATH IS GAY. WKSEY IS NOT.

lamentations of the drunk and unemployed

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 23:42:34 MST

you see, the funny thing is, i was a lot drunker earlier.but then, just like the time my roommate alice kicked me in the face, something happened that knocked all the fucking drunk out of me. the very definition of the word BUZZKILL if you will.i don't know if you know this, but i've been out of work for about 5 months now. and i have been trying VERY FUCKING HARD to get a new job. and every new job i apply for i make sure to tell them that the last job i had was a TURBOTRIP and i did lots of web designing and web programming and affilliate support and all kinds of stuff i used to do.today i learned that TURBOTRIP IS OUT OF BUSINESS. IT DOESN'T EXIST. THE PEOPLE ARE ALL GONE. MY REFERENCES ARE WORTHLESS."aww, man!" you say, "that's rough!"FUCK YOU "THAT'S ROUGH"!!THIS SHIT IS FUCKING UP MY ENTIRE GOD DAMN LIFEbeing unemployed is the worst fucking thing in the world. i am living off of credit cards and the good will of my fiancee who (god bless her) hasn't thrown me out on the street WHICH i might add is the only place i could afford to go if she got sick of my broke ass.DO YOU KNOW HOW AWESOME THAT IS? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A REAL BIG MAN IT MAKES ME FEEL?speaking of those credit cards, this isn't the first time i've been laid off (god also bless the IT industry... why couldn't i have been a god damn car mechanic) so i've had to live off my credit cards several times over the last 5 years. DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR IN DEBT I AM?HERE'S A HINT: A FUCKING LOT.and now i find that while i am trying to get my fucking feet BACK on the ground and i'm trying to make a living and provide an income with wich i can be an equal partner in a real-life honest-to-god marriage, an income that might help us buy a home of our own and help me pay off my immense personal debt, that THE FUCKING PEOPLE I USED TO WORK FOR DON'T EXIST ANYMOREi m beyond pissedi am so fucking madi mean, you might be saying "wow, that's bad luck and all but what are you gonna do?"no...the guy who used to be my boss STILL KEEPS IN TOUCH WITH MEI AM DOING A FREELANCE WEB JOB FOR HIMAND HE DIDN'T TELL ME ANY OF THIS SHITthanks manthanks a lotthanks for helping with the goal of FUCKING UP my GOD DAMN LIFEi had a job interview just last fridayi thought it went really well. i hope they don't care too much that the phones have been disconnected when they call to check my references. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

me and my flask

Sat, 17 Jan 2004 22:53:54 MST

I HAVE A FLASK TODAYi biught it at the flea marketi am still going to shut down the drunkjournal sometime soonSOMETIME WHEN YOU LEAST EXPCTE ITLIKENOW!!!!!hahaha no that's what you would expect me to doyou think you're so fucking smart, but you're notfuckers

hoooyeeaeah crazy movies

Sat, 17 Jan 2004 03:59:25 MST

OK, so yeah man. i was fdirnkg and i watched american pyshco and that movie is fucking DUNNYT`1 the dude sis all like HUEY LEWES FUCKING ROCKS ::MURDERS PEOPLE:: he gets these bitches and theure' all being bitches and he's like, "time to die bitches!" and murderings them. for you see, he's more clever and fools them, then kikls them. trule ya classyt man indeed. aLSO, shut down this site and i mrurerre people. also, james kocholacker or whsatvefr the fuck that fags name is is a fucking fagbag and a haklf

premature mourning for drunkjournal

Fri, 16 Jan 2004 21:56:02 MST

oh drunkjournal, how well i knew yebe warned ye readers of the journals of drunkenness... i am growing tired of this site and all its bla bla bla bla blaBLA BLA BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAi am going to shut down drunkjournal somedaysomeday soonall you epople searching for NAKED MEXICANS will be FUCKED.

back from the bar

Wed, 14 Jan 2004 00:16:09 MST

wooooooo i'm drunk!seabreeze again. chris kicke dour asses in cricket but when it comes down to it lindsy adn katy are the better dart throwers.(he'll treyand tell you all that he's the best- do not listen, for it is lies).today was the day from hell for me. it started at 7am, and did not end until 8pm. i cant wait until i get my degeree in crime scene investigation and i have a cush job with the state solving crimes and looking at dead bodies.yueah, that'll be sweet.JAMES KOCHALKA SUCKS or however you spell itl.whatever.

drink recipe: swampade

Mon, 12 Jan 2004 11:46:22 MST

specialty of IGOR'S bar in old new orleans. start with lots of ice add just about equal parts of raspberry liqueur, vodka, and triple secadd some lemonade mix it all up, yum

furthermore i hate james kochalka

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 01:56:11 MST

alsoanyone who likes james kochalka (his music or his comiscs) is a fucking shitfacefor YEARS i have had to suffer through listening to HOT DOG HOT ROD RIDER after all the good songs were done on that good citizen compilation and then they stuck KEG PARTY right after that awesoem rocketsled song on the bigheaveyworld CD and i wqould have to break my arm reaching for the STOP button so i wouldn't have to listen to that shitit didn't help that MONKEY VS ROBOT became such a big fucking internet nerd success. i blame all you internet idiots. STOP LISTENING TO JAMES KOCHALKA HE SUCKSDO YOU HEAR ME JAMES KOCHALKADO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME

i hate oprah

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 00:33:20 MST

today on tv, oprah is talking about a famous dog and oprah asks the dogs' owner "does she know she's this famous"i want to kick oprah in the fucking facealso i was playing katy's CSI game and there's a part where it tells me i need to find "collaborating evidence"seriouslyGET YOURSELVES A FUCKING EDITOR, GUYS

rules

Wed, 07 Jan 2004 19:25:48 MST

Rule #1: smoke a bowl Rule #2: DL and play Evanescence - October Read the below during the song. hum... its been a pretty emotional day today. A worker at my job quit and now there is left the bitch. I thought I would throw it all to hell and run to Europe, become a coke model, and be dead to my pathetic soul. There I said it. I'm DEAD. ALREADY DEAD! Work politics suck. But works as well. I will never be albe to work for anyone. I run things very effectively and efficiently. I thought about getting a cat again today. How nice that would be to have a pussy curl up with me. Love me. I miss my Tu-Tu. She was the best pussy. *Sob* I mean for real. She would come on command. :( And you have to have a female. Their so sweet. :) My black pussy would bitch. It was so cute. She was something else. Probably why it was named after my middle name: Simone. Memories. Too many emotionally bond memories.

WORK 0, BIRTHDAY 1

Wed, 07 Jan 2004 03:21:44 MST

My birthday rocks. I am fucking crocked, but I can still type, and my farts stink. Therefore I am not crocked. I have to be at work in less than five hours, and I am not done drinking. The only logical solution is to continue drinking until I vomit, then go to work late. Maybe I will get fired. On my birthday. Who's your daddy?

notes and rules to live by

Mon, 05 Jan 2004 20:56:29 MST

note to self: spedn more time designing website more likke www.kidkoala.comin the future, i hoipe ythey design a dish that wil clean itself. i hate doing the dihes. then again, when i have kids, ill have to yell at them "DO THE DIEHSED WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I HADE TO CLEAN THEM BY HAND! MOTHER FUCKER!"rule 1: dont live in a trailerrule 2: dont get a trailer cuz they have no room for dishwasghersrule 3: see rules 1&2rule 4: having a trailers allows you to spend more money on BEER!! WOOOO

Wowee!

Sun, 28 Dec 2003 03:00:35 MST

Toniught was supper-go-ome-for-holidatys-and see-the friends-saturday-nihgt.It all started when Kevin the guitar player wanted to see the guitar my uncle built that he wanted to buy. He came over and we had a few beer before meeting up with

things to remember

Sat, 20 Dec 2003 05:24:27 MST

remember this iomprotant stufff.Kara slapped you, it was a good thing. call her slappr from now on.Jessica.. call her... she probably thinks youre an idiot.Shaalini, you saw her last nighgt.Call Liz, she called you recently.Sevita used to be married... you talked about that.You hitt on Jaane again.Amamnda is dum (the bartender)Amanda went hoime with Don (you were suipposed to driver her hom)Kat didnthang out with you, she was scareded cause uoui were pretty druk.C huck and Sylas never showde up.that bitch that hangds out with teh gfat bitch dissed you. kick her in thefacre.Benny wore a dorky polo.Jamie got drukn and told everyone secretss about oyu.Samaantah is a bitch (accordings you to know who).

saddam hussein!!

Sun, 14 Dec 2003 21:42:03 MST

BYARGAGRGYARG!! hey they caught saddamhow about thatnwi u an watchin a gshw abut that chick from 90210 and she is dongsome shit.,wait whois that guy he' s like wilford brmyle or somehtingwowo i had some pizzahahahahahahSHU T TT

asian girls at the club

Sun, 14 Dec 2003 02:55:18 MST

oh my gir idont hing i'v eevr been this drunk whille psosting i xcan t evernb typw in a regualtr way, i', m lik efar beyind drivin or wsomtjhing. i'd just like to say that i must be cooler then iu thigught cuz like when i was out drinking tonihgt i go tto talk to the girl i haf my eye one all night, and she was like tottally cool and shit, and she was fuckin ghot like my typw of girl in ever way she wsa cute too if you get my meaning, she was in tyo me and such as well, go d i wanted her and i got her i n a way i just have toork my charm a little more i guess to actually ge t her to come home with me he hehhehh. as you probally g8uessed she was of the asian veriaty, imagian ythat, and i goit her to tallk to me and like touch me and all thwat, its always the asian chicks, no wonder i love em so much. da,mn weirdoman i', m so f'ed up i took a leak in the alley way i found that fuuunyy, i mus tst bve brauin dead iwant som e candy, i also watnt to get laid, i think the csandy is more likelly, i wish i was at that bar roight now just so i cold have my hads on that chick, crirsty was her name whitch is kindda odd for an dasian chick but who am i to judge, man am i home right now, shit i; ficked uop, i cna t belkive i evcen gio t to this site, go d i wanna get some, its n fair damit.

stuck in secod gear

Mon, 08 Dec 2003 22:22:44 MST

how many times a day do i need to hear the FRIENDS them?apparently itr's 45713786+7 times a day.they watch friends ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME.okay so anyway- here ai am, posting. it's been a while for me., i havebt posted in a long time because i havebt wanted to deal with drama or psychos who cant let go. i think we all know who i mean. toiday rob's groupd gave him a bag of vegan eggrolls. what a fag.also, christmas is fantastic and i'm such a fantastic girlfriend because the gift i goit chris waS AWESOME! indeed yes i win :)

Cock Balls Poop

Mon, 08 Dec 2003 04:24:44 MST

"That Grant began drinking heavily during the Mexican War, I think, is beyond doubt, the reason being that much of this war must have been extremely dull and depressing. As he did not gamble, disliked sport, was too shy and self-conscious to flirt with the girls and women chance might throw in his way, he began to find a sweet relief in liquor. When all was going right, drink had no mastery over him; but when nothing was doing, or when he felt that he could do nothing, he was unable to resist the temptation to discover in drink that magician who can charm away those dark hours which find the soul on the verge of suicide." (Fuller, J.F.C. General Grant: A Biography for Young Americans. New York: Dodd, Mead, 1932, page 39.)HOLY SHIT!@ANYWAYS WAHTS UP MIGGERS???? I AM OKAY THANKS FOR ASKING. I JUST WENT OUTR TO A CLUB AND DAMN THIS FUCKER HOOKED ME UP WIT THa YAY YOU!!!!YA YO!!! YAY YO~~~!! WHOA!!! STILL, THAT STUFF DOESN'T AFFECT ME LIKE WHISKYE DOES. I SLAPPED MY GIRL IN THE GACE TONIGFHT. IT ROCKESD~~!!!! YAY BEER.SHAKESPEARE IS QUEER!1!! YAY CAPS!!!CHTRIS, I HATE MYSELF!!! WHY DO I DRINK SO MUCH!!! IT IS SO HORRIBLE, I HAVE SLAPPED MY GIRL AND MY MOTHER JUST YESTERDAY (i WILL GET ANOTHER JOB!!!) WHY OH WHY?? NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES FROM THIS; NOT ALL MY PAPERS, MY LOVE LETTERS, MY HGAPPIEST MOMENTS WITH MY MOST CHERISHED FRIENDS, MY TRIUMPHS HAVE ALL BEEN TAINTED BY MERE BOOZE!!! I AM ALONE THE VILLAIN OF THE EARTH!!!!"He is a good and brave soldier, tried for years; is sober, very industrious and kind as a child. Yet he has been held up as careless, criminal, a drunkard, tyrant and everything horrible." -William T. Sherman, in a letter to his wife, June 6, 1862. (M.A. DeWolfe. Home Letters of Sherman. New York: Scribers, 1906, page 228).If this girl is for real, then I hope she chews a bullit soon. Honestly, my Core Drinkers, such as she should not exist to spread base rhetoric. I am addicted to alcohol, yes, but my problem rests in the minds of those that drive me to drink; namely the author of the e-mail. Also, I don't believe it to be actual hate e-mailhomogayness, but it still stands as a counterpoint to my valid point: You sobers are wrecking us with your Dr. Phil ideals and quasi-Mormonistic leanings. There is more to life than boredom, I invite you all to find it.........................In my pants. There exists a certain sense of pleasure in the rising of the sun that I myself have lost, but I love to find it in others. And I hope that I am drunk when I do so experience this because that sun is soooooo fucking bright and round and it blows my mind daily. When I hear those in charge of my life belittle the beauty inherent in our life I shudder to think that others take it, take it and accept it. I find glory in the fact that we are disgusted with our igonrant superiors and that we, inebriated, drunk, fucked, soused, shit-faced, done right, spent, and purposeful motherfuckers are the wave of the future. I'll drink to that. Also, we have ruled the past:"When Lincoln was approached with complaints about the appalling number of casualties among Grant's men and Grant's drinking problem, Lincoln responded that a case of whatever Grant was drinking should be sent to all the Union's generals! 'I cannot spare this man,' Lincoln said, 'he fights!'"He fights, you better believe it. Let's all give a HURRAH! to out 18 th president, Mr. Ulysses S. Grant, a drunkard, a hero, a military wunderkind, a good fucking man who never stopped dripping his blood for those he loved. Goddam it, alcohol may rule my life, but it rules that I chersh, adore, and worship my loved ones and also that I never back down in the face of absolute ignorance. We may not end well, but we will live well...."After his presidency, Grant found himself in financial difficulties and dying of throat cancer. Grant had lost his military pension when he entered politics, and at that time, there was no pension for a retired President. Determined to provide for his family after his death, Grant accepted the advice of his friend Mark Twain and began to write his memoirs. He approached this last battle as he had all others, with grim and dogged determination. His last days were spent on his porch with pencil and paper in hand, wrapped in blankets and in fearsome pain, slowly scrawling out his life's epic tale. The book was completed just days before his death, and its success took care of his family for the rest of their lives."We'll all die. Not everyone will live. The caps section makes no sense. I choose to leave it in hoping one day I understand why I wrote it. Probably to make a joke or something.Love, Doktor von Whiskey.

drunkjournal hate mail

Sat, 06 Dec 2003 16:00:25 MST

i know it's early and katy will probably be mad that i'm drunk already but i'm bummed out today because i can't find a job. anyway i got this awesome email from CHARLENExxx@aol.com and she says:"SERIOUSLY READ THIS...THIS IS THE STUPIDEST WEB SITE i HAVE EVER SEEN. aLCOHOL AND DRUNK PEOPLE ARE STUPID. yOU KNOW IT IS TRUE, WHY ARE YOU WAISTING YOUR PRECIOUS TIME MAKING SUCH A REDICULOUS WEB SITE. yOU SOUND LIKE A MORON, THE VOCABULARY YOU ARE USING. tHE ONLY PEOPLE THAT WOULD EVER GO BACK TO YOUR SITE ARE IGNORANT TEEN AGERS. mAY I ASK WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU MAKE THIS SITE. jUST TO REMIND YOU.. ALCOHOL.. RUINS LIVES, IT DESTROYS FAMILIES, IT DESTROYS PEOPLE. iT IS PURELY ALLOWING THE DEVIL TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. aND THERE IS A DEVIL, AND HE IS FAR FROM COOL.. HE WORKS ON INSECURITIES.. THAT IS WHY ANYONE DRINKS IN THE FIRST PLACE... wHY DONT YOU SERVE A POSITIVE PURPOSE.. AND MAKE A WEB SITE ON HOW MANY LIVES ARE RUINED FROM ALCOHOL, HOW MANY WOMEN ARE RAPED BY DRUNK PEOPLE, HOW MANY LITTLE GIRLS ARE ABUSED FROM DRUNK PEOPLE, HOW MANY WOMEN ARE BEATEN BY DRUNK HUSBANDS, HOW MANY COUPLES CHEAT ON EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL AND DESTROY THE MARRAIGE AND FAMILY THEY ONCE HAD, THERE IS NOTHING COOL ABOUT ALCOHOL..( OR DRUGS).. I COULD GO ON AND ON... ABOUT HOW AWFUL. IT IS.FEED BACK WOULD BE NICE.. THANKYOU.. SINCERLY CHARLENE"i'm usually pretty good at telling when people are trolls and when they're just idiots but this one is quite a stumper. i'm leaning towards troll like i usually do, but matbe that's just misguided optimism on my part. REGARDLESS i think charlene is right. you assholes are pathetic. you are all ignorant teenagers and you're runing your lives. now i expect you all to go rape some women and abuse some little girls and email the pictures to charlene because she obviously would like to see them. this is actually the first piece of hatemail i've gotten about drunkjournal (legitimate or not) so i'm kind of pleased. now if you'll excuse me, i think THE DEVIL IS TAKING CONTROL OF ME.

hahaha alcohol is stupid

Sat, 06 Dec 2003 02:50:13 MST

joeyla: SUCK TI FAGr0om: live and in e4ffect i rock you hardjoeyla: i will tattoo your face with dicks next to you r motuhjoeyla: matty concurssr0om: the combined force of yours guys ass stench causes nuclear winterr0om: departjoeyla: the fire department?r0om: thats your mothers departmenthahaha

red red wine

Sat, 06 Dec 2003 00:41:05 MST

fucking eh. two and a half glasses of redwine later and i'm fucking drunk. what am i, skinny?! i mean, fuck! so i spent way toomuch money tod ay, and i'm never getting ladi agin (i blame it on sleeping wint internet guys. grouch, you know what i'm saying.) so i'm going lesbian. that is, unless mikey, jep, or will comes and truns me straight. so, this is my tribute to red wine. it's all about sex and not eating in 11 hours and body image and sex. and ahtred of clothing.and red wine. red, red wine.fuck you.

smoking some killer kb

Sun, 30 Nov 2003 20:01:36 MST

YAWN - blar! Thinking about the fact that George Bush is running again for president. This ought to be interesting. Hope this nation does the obvious right thing. And if the Democratic party can't put a reasonable candidate - OMG! Yes I'm going to say it... THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES CAN ACTUALLY CONSIDER OTHER INDEPENDENT PARTIES. *opps sorry - receiving kisses* OK back again... hum... dling music... YES I stealing music... I love it... it definitely charges me up. Especially after I experience a new artist and then go buy the vinyl for a single.. and slice and dripple it up a bit. Computers ROCK! I'm such a dork! ROCK OUT. At least a hot one ;) And I'm in love with a geek... its awesome... AWWW! Love... Hum... so yeah. I know i'm hot. :) I just don't like to be treated like I'm special I suppose. But sometimes I'm going to get it. Girls are the worst in helping me realize how hot I am. They are really unpleasent because the must feel threatened in some way. It's cute though. I laugh. Shrug... Life goes on. Probably why nothing much bothers me. Blar - the reindeers are coming the reindeers are coming oh shit - must finish hot glueing my glow in the dark flies on wire ;) its so awesome - SCHOOL ROCKS!

hit the clubs

Sun, 30 Nov 2003 03:30:12 MST

ugh, i haven't been this shitfaced in some time, it;s pretty cool, it's liek 3 am and i;'m still justsitting arounf drinking and listening to cd's, far out man, i haven't sen a bong in years, gahh.i went out tonight, it was almost pretty cool, some chick named "mary" talked to me, she had short blonde hair and everything, it was cool, no red shirt and huge belt tho' but niggers cant be chooseres or whatever they say.satill i am still all alone so that sucks and suchcan somebosy tell me what it's liek to sleep with someone? it must suck dont it, i kindda liek sleeping by myself, why would you want some weird being falling all over you huh?sex is all slimmy and grooss with fluids and stuff too, yum yum licky licky 5 dollers. i bang asian whores for 200 dollers per hourthe sun in my hand beccomes my despair..... i am the voyager, i have tasted pleasures of the fleash and drunk the pleasures of the mind, to reach the piont i've atained, clear focused and defined!left hand washes the righthuh? something about bringing the sickness of cleansing genius, guh?sometimes bitterness is all you hold on to, and within the bitterness i relize my weaknessi am a lawer, i am i lieri like cheese, i also like #9 at that chinese place a couple of dorrs down the block, i should get on etommorowwho knows who realy decides?know what makes me happy? neo VS. agent smith X alot in reloded, i watch that liek 4 times a day, i like that, it';s funny and well scripted, it's liek the best fight ever on movie tv thing, it kicks ass too, i got the DVD the other day, i should take it off my wish list, i got gwars phallis in wonderland too, thats on dvd as well, it's funny, some guy wants lots of crack and some chick is in a cat suit, its nicewe are but fleash and fleash is the weaknesswe are born or blood sinew and bonewe're all just spinning in this useless hole in timeon our way into the black unknownyou have to watch blain all the time, blain is a pain and thats the truth gad zooks, i drank 375 mL of brandy and 4 or 5 odd beeers, eek that make s me funny, why is is that i want an asina girl so bad, huh, there were some actually japanese chicks in the bar tonight CG would've loved this one chick, nice white skarf, cute boots, neato hat, uber cute in every sence of the word, make a man cry, yuk yuk, made me wince anywaygod jesus h christ on a jet powered hovercaft liek thing, this is long, and i'm tired, i think, umm, i'll go and make love to ryoko now, yum yum, she loves me much much

girls girls girls

Thu, 27 Nov 2003 00:51:46 MST

hahaha... girls... girls... reminds me of a beastie boy song... girls... to do my laundry like girls... to wash the dishes... girls... to cook my food... girls...I tell ya what I would do with a girl. I would take her face in my hand and 1. show her what it means to completely submit and bow down to my golden pussy... 2. I would make her my bitch. She would love getting her pretty pink ass spanked. And do things just so she could feel the burn as my hand slapped against her flesh. 3. She would take it up the ass. Not only with any other cock that wants to give it but alot with my like flesh dildo. Yes baby - you will love it.girls... you have no clue... girls....are too easy my child... too easy...Many rubs (with my thumb and index finger) goes out to you,Asianbelle !!!!

smokin

Tue, 25 Nov 2003 23:56:40 MST

hum... weed is grand... weed is great... Weed loves to spark flames higher while I masterbate! Whew! HAHAHAHAHA I amuse myself... read the last post by lil royko.... YUGIO! That is what I think of that shit... You need to meet an american asian girl with that "fire" Be a "NO Limit" solidier... har! No Dude for real... sorry about ya white cracker bad luck... Ever think african american? Heard once you go black you never go back... You can find out for me...hehehe... WHO RAH! *karate chop* Diet Kazaa rocks my nips hard... I was thinking of writing some sort of literature. Or some sort of random pointless material during a certain span of time. Oh - that is what the point of my website will be... fun! I think my way of thoughts within myself is enough entertainment to write pointless acts of inspiration. Then again I always thought I could write very sensual or downright gritty literature well. Guess it is in what state of mind I'm in. And I take Art classes so I can have a lesbian encounter with Mary Jane. Plus life is so much more pleasent while standing with trees. Damn it i can't type this shit anymore....whoop whop whooop - I'm spinning in space....lar lar! blooop blop bloop... unf! unf! So research indicates that marijuana use can lead to stronger things, like: fun, sex, eye drops, potato chips, dry mouth, giggling, and potato chips. Did you see that! It said SEX!!!!! I think I'm more sexually tuned than most guys. Losers! Hum.... going to get a frosty... Disclaimer: THe writing above has no emotional or mental meaning to the author. Titled: Stream of Random Thoughts Pe@ce out. Your Asian Biatch, Asianbelle!

another miserable birthday

Fri, 21 Nov 2003 20:32:45 MST

yeah or somethign like that, uhhh, yeahnormaly i'd post this on my own website, but i don;t have one anymore, i sorrta have this birthday tradition, and i might as well fallow thorugh with it right here, so.... now, in theory someone could ask me "what would you like for your 28th birthday?"... as if anyone would care... and i would say "well, i'd really like to be dead." no such luck, nope i get to grow up, grow old, mature into an ugly pathetic failure. what fun. yeah, so there ya go, much like i watch the dirty pair halloween special only once a year, i only write that somewhere once a year, traditions are great aint they?i always come on here thinking im gunna write somethign, then i forget it, weird eh? thats drinking for ya, i'm just glad i actuallly have the money to do it today, joysomething that i was thinking of was how much i love asian girls with blonde hair, i dont know why really, cuz it's obviously fake, but then again i love cartoon girls more then real ones, so i guess that explains it huh, speaking of which, i got me an acount on hotornot.com and for the life of me i can't understand why only asian girls click "yes" on me, i mean there fuckling hot, like uber hot and shit, and they seem compaled to actually talk to me, why? white chicks do noithign but blow me off and pretend im invisable or somethign, but asian chicks always talk to me, whether on hotornot or in some random bar, must be why i love em so much, hmmm, still haven't baged one tho' so that bums me out, 28 and still a fucking loser, guess it's for my whole life i guess, ugh, what a charming thought, my whole life alone and miserable, kindda makes life not worth living, no fun. i tend to recomend music whille i type on here, so i might as well do that now, if you have a chance listen to the Nevermore song "dead heart in a dead world" it's like the best song about depression EVER, and it's so fucking awesome, it really speaks to me or something. i'm gunna go see them december 13th and i'm all psyched and shit, i cant wait!! hmmm, i think i'll gho eat some pizza now o rsomething.

Let me tell you about the restaurant business.

Mon, 17 Nov 2003 04:18:48 MST

Well, i'm not nearly as pissed as I usually am, but I felt compelled to grace this page with my inebriated wit and wisdom.Well, I'm not too pissed off with naybody besides the usual: really, why do black people go out to eat? Beyond that I'm terribly complacent about my general surroundings. Please, for the love of Satan, realize that servers hate you. It has nothing to so with yer ethnicity (though it helps) but entirely with yer attitude and inability to tip well. Very few of you are coapable of accomp,ishing a succesful dinner out. Here are some tips:1) Oh, are you on a first date? How cute! What the fuck do you want to eat? (Tip: Order quixck, i hate you)2) oh, that didn't taste good but you ate most of ti before telling me? There is a reason we are all in ther corner laughing at you and then I don't say anything and still charge you fro ti. Waht, you are mad? i thought you would be, that's why i spit in yer coca cola before hand. (Tip: Don't bitch. I've already fucked you)3) Okay so you are foreign, i should learn to "accept and appreciate" yer differences. No. Speak English and speak the fuck up. i don't understand mumble and if you do i will purposely order the wrong thing fro you. Fuck you. And yer country. (Tip: Don't be a cock. i've already fucked you)4) Kevin, you are racist. Dear fucktwat, work in a restaurant and you will be too. (Tip: you are a fuckcunt)5) Dear blackperson, what would you like to drink? :;black person stares real hard like they are taking the fucking SAT:: "Can you come back?" after ten minutes (Tip: Black people need to learn how to read before going to a restaurant. Also, they could stand to learn the hidden meaning behind the traditional 15% tip. Also, please stay at home, black people.)6) Young prom-goers out and not trying to eat that much. Girls in tight dresses always order salads and water. give up the fucking dream, bitches. Eating light one night in yer life will not make a Paris Hilton of you. Get a fucking coke habit. (Tip: Eat somewhere else you soon to be knocked up cunt. Who will still be fat after tonight.)7) Wedding rehearsal dinners often take place at arestaurants, but the hosts get all pissy about their guests ordering booze. (Tip: If you can't afford it, DO NOT GO TO A GODDAM RESTAURANT!!! Also, if you bitch at the servers because yer yokel kinfolk who are busy fucking yer little sister are ordering too many crown and cokes then you probably shouldn't have "sprung" for the rehearsal dinner. Also, if you take money out of the tip for their drinking then you are just a Luciferian ass fuck) 8) Just don't go to a goddam restaurant. (Tip: this means anyone who has never worked in one. Honestly, you have no idea what kind of fuckied up hell we go through with you cunts. You all disgust me.)9) White businessmen on a business trip are always welcome. I knwo where the nearest stripclub is you ignorant loud fucks. Also, thanks for all the fat tips. You still disgust me. (Tip: Be loud and obnoxious. Pretend you are back in yer glory days in ninth grade. i love that shit. It's radical. You stupid fat white fucks.)10)Everyone else, just tip alright and realize we hate you. it's nothing personal, nbut people are fucking horrible and cheap and disgusting when they go out to eat (black people especially) and servers are so tired of it. Why do we continue to serve? Because it's easy to get laid and also easy to find drugs. keep fucking with one of us and you'll have some hung-over smacked out bastard child of Satan (me) fucking you in your eyesocket if you don't behave. Really, Shoneequa, i will do it, and Tyrone will be next. Love and learn the fucking decimal system you stupid pieces of shit,Doc.

too much to drink, too much alcohol

Thu, 13 Nov 2003 03:41:17 MST

whoaalli im sayi isbalance is tricdky jodrph fifny pivk up his phonejoeseph didnt picck up his pohne is thtat last line in e\\\\nlishim typin with my eyes clsed nowdont try shakin your head, its mirderood nighwwt swet moon

my band played a show

Wed, 05 Nov 2003 04:29:29 MST

so, toinght myh band playe da big shoew, andi twas good. we rokdced the ufuc=k out, therew ws laughter, there was inrtigue, tehre was romance. basicalay the haevens smieled on north carolinae. im so exaggeating. but wstill wew eret good.so the n tehse guys wer ehaving an after pearty in their apartjmment, and this one guy has shome shot called (see above), and iev like never hadd scraight up liquora nefore.i have aet est tomorrow.ist fien i say, its notlike im drinknig likd a largue volume of liquid alochol here. i cna just go backa nd study, nobigdael.needlyess to say, i was a slittel surprised by hoew much stronger shotes are than i had realized. aslo, i love lexi. if youers ever wasted an dpissed off about undergarmetns, shes deifnitely the rgiht pesron to talk to.nighte!

anime girls and dancing cripples

Sat, 01 Nov 2003 19:52:13 MST

man, nothing like sitting around drinking and listening to party favorites on one of those music stations, cool, and the nights just started, now i get to go out and hang out in clubs and shit, great. course i'll still be sleeping with ryoko, or lillith or rikku or any other of my girls tonight, oh well, real girls are over rated, and probably no good anyway. post scipt.....why do i bother? why do i fucking bother?black guys dont hang out at klan meetingsstrqaight guys dont hang out at GLAD meetingsjews dont march in nazi paradesso why do cripples hang out in dance clubs? i ask you why do i fucking bother? pps, extreme rage makes drukenness wear off quicker, fuck

happy halloween frohikes

Fri, 31 Oct 2003 20:32:06 MST

the best scene of any episode of the x filesis the one where mulder and scully are trapped by a giant man eating fungusand it is making them trip ballsand they are hallucinatng things, and scully is imagining mulder's funeral and one of those nerd guys is there... frohike or whoeever and he takes a big swig of some bottle of liquor and proclaims THIS WILL DULL THE PAINoh yeahyou tell 'em frohike

Cotumea

Fri, 31 Oct 2003 07:24:14 MST

Well, Hell's Belles i think I jusdt got mesself a pooter for the writtin' thing!!!That last statement has nothing to do with my asshole.Really.Still, so it's Halloween and i'm forced to work. How sad, you say, in your very ass-licking immediate way that never recognizes another's wants and needs. Demmit, my friend, but I NEED my Halloween!!! Shit, my anglicized nigger, Halloween is most definitely my most favoritest holliday and I'm about to unload on yer anglican cotton-picking ass why...Halloween has fairly ancient origins in old Celtic rites that essentially celebrated the onset of a new season; in this case it was fall, i think. It may also have celebrated Satan's cumming on God's jello pudding pack, but i don't know. It doesn't matter...actually, i used humor to prove THAT IT DOES!!!!! See, we Celts (if yer not one then just die) appreciate the world and feel a need to drink for every occasion. Halloween is just such an occasion and you goddam Satanists have ruined our beautiful birthright of Again-drinking-and-puking-cycle; which is inherent in the Celtic mindset to pursue yer silly notions of otherworldly power. Damn, even we don't believe that shite, we just want to drink. What's the matter with you that yer wanting all the time to spill blood and talk about robert Smith? Even we got bored with that when we were fifteen. There is only one god and it is whiskey and in the name of the whiskey, the beer, and the blood of Jayzus we worship this day. Amen.Last Halloween I was just getting back from a cold place and I went to see The Genitortures. If you live in Orlando, go see some poeple nail their privates to boards. Also, go see the Genitortures on Halloween. It will proabably be cheap and whean you all discuss how yer brother nailed his scrotum to a blender, you won't sound so weird...as you usually do. You will sound learned. Like Buddhists sound right before they bathe in gasoline. Like you probably should because it will get rid of that weird herpes-like thing on yer face. Forever. Love in the time of a lack of cholera,Doc.Ps. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! WHAT'RE YER COSTUMES????? MINE'S A PURPOSELESS SHITRAG!!!!! ANYTHING MORE INTERESTING??????

OH SHIT ITS SNOW

Fri, 31 Oct 2003 00:55:21 MST

of shit mothrerfuckers, i the anger guts wide UP wenm the tear opens liek this ion your face. i am leistening to it now, all pretyy like a flower or something liek that or something like ta flower, and it gets bigger fuck. it gets biggers fuck, like shit, fuck, anda yakaw ay, SNOW HAHHAHA

chatty chat chat

Sat, 25 Oct 2003 22:47:59 MST

go robot: REMEMBER YOU WERE THERE, ASSFACEsam: I was in the same city, but I didn't see it happengo robot: YOU WERE AT THE DMV WITH MEsam: AND THAT GUY WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF AND THE DMV GUY SLIPPED YOU A LOVE NOTEgo robot: i "light up the room".go robot: eat my twat.go robot: i'm seeing everything in double.go robot: and i'm ready to pick a fight.sam: Fight Chris- he's mocking mego robot: it's no fun to figfht himgo robot: he's too cute.

class of 94 rulz!!

Fri, 24 Oct 2003 22:21:40 MST

uhh yeah, you ever notice that the more you drink the more you have to drink to get drunk? it kindda sucks cuz you have to spend more money , and thats never a good thing, damn, thrree odd months ago i could never drink the amount i'e had tinght, but now i'm still relitively sane, damyou know what the funniest thing in the world is? in your best yogi bear voice say "yaheee, i got these terrible hemroids that are really burning my ass" and if you dont at least chuckle, kill yourself now cuz you really suck and suchi think i was thinking of somthign else but i forgot, umm, jet set radio future kicks ass, jazz and the love shockers are fucking hot and you can see gum's "stuff" if you get my meaning, but of course if you've never played the game then you dont know what i speak of, so play more games or soemhing, yeahi remember once beating gunstar heros when i was so drunk i couldnt ever see straght and stuff, i was in my reflex momorie or somethingi wish it was 1987 again, preditor and robocop came out in 87, yeah, 87 was great

note to new york: fuck you

Fri, 17 Oct 2003 22:04:27 MST

ugh, i dont know why, but i have the strangest urge to go to to babe ruths grave, dig him up, smash his boney face in, and then hang his ragidy old corpe in yankee standum. i t must be cuz i've lived in boston for too long, but i fucking hate the yankees and i havte new yorkers, fuck you guys, drop dead you basards. it's odd actually seeing "the curse" in real life, i was just a lad back in 86, but i'm all gorwed up now and i saw it in real life, it's pretty fucking weird, so heres a big fuck you to yankee fans and anyone who wears a yankee cap cuz it's cool, drop dead!!!ahh, driunking, you knwo i actually havent done it in awille, i dont know why, i havent gotten any happier latey, mayb e i just have'nt had any money, yeah thats it, moneyuhhh, i'm so loney, and that makes me bored,and i only care about M.E. my enjoyment, so when i'm bored that aint good, and i've been bored alot latly, god i need a girlfriend, damn crippled loser, i hate me, i suck, damn fucking loser, i think some cutting may be required, just to feel somethign, hehyou know what, i think i'll post a pic, i have on e on this ptter, i'm smilleing and shit, it's weird, damn, i be one ugly mo-fo, bleh, oh well, who needs real life girls, i got oodles of 2-D gilrs, and they be yummy, and do what i say all the time, liek mow the lawn and cut wood and stuff, it's great!!, yeahh you know the best band that you aint never heard of? Nevermore, they fucking own and rock and are much better the JOOOO! i liek them alot, cuz they rock and shit, and goodie of goddie they be coming to the paladium in december with Dimmu Borgir, so thats gunne fucking rule brother! if you'd like to know more about Nevermore, please pick up Enemies of Reality, it's the newest one and really good, or consult your local librery whaterver, some people dont like metal, and they suck. you know duff man right, that song that always plays when he's around is on right now, and it's really weird, it's by a band called Yellow and it's called...wait for it... "oh yeah" pretty funny huh, cuz all they say is "oh yeah" just like the coolaid man, heh, you ever see that episode of family guy, wherew the coolaid man busts in and sez that, i almost bust a nut when i saw that for the first time, fucking funny.speaking of that, do yo uknwo what "gay" stands for?...... got aids yet, hHHHHHHHHaaaaaaaaaa! i tghingk i saw that on some klasmans shirt on some show, pretty funny. or like, why did the monkey fall out of the tree?...... cuz he was fucking dead! hahahahaha, see now say the word fucking, cuz that makes you sound tough! and yeah only one man knows where that comes from just like i'm the only guy who got the cornhole a blind bitch joke, hah, and you thin i dont read you're stuff anymore, tho' you can tell where my source is so i guess you can see when i'm on and do in ffact know i read your stuff. funny thing, i almost forgot to post that pic, damn i must be drunk that was only like 5 minutes ago or somehting, go i love posting on here when i'm drinking, it's really fun, i ussually write so moiuch and i'm sure yupre all so entertained by my stuff, i'm a fuunyy guy all right, you sahould meet me in person, i'm sure i'd charm that pant off the ladies, yeah, i'm a supper studd hey look at that, fearless leaders favorite song is on right now Barenaked Ladies "one week" he sez he hates it but i think he loves it, i know i do, heh, sailor moon and the boom make me think the wrong things, and i'm wathin g xfiles with no lights on i hope the smoking mans in this one, haha holy shit this hads been a long rant, i guess i';ll end it now... you're discharged sarge... yahhhhhhhhhh oh wait, i cnat upload a pic, this site is fucked, fuckers...

uh oh too much to drink, threw up

Sun, 12 Oct 2003 21:39:54 MST

I CHUKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!College has gotten me way too accustomed to watered down keg beer. My tummy can't handle liquor as well as it once did. It's like running a marathon, you can't stop practicing or you end up back at square one. FUCK.I can't believe I puked. I haven't done that since like the very first night I got drunk ever. MAKE FUN OF ME, NOW.

KILL BILL

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 00:04:14 MST

damnit! kermit! KILL BILL comes out tomorrow! hell ya muter fuker... I'm like flint on rye... sigh... so I a'm like a por girl without potang. So I drank too much... but its like I still made a fucking bet with my roomie Jackie 10 bucks if a guy hits on us.... har! I love baton rouge... cause being 1. tall and 2. beautiful = every penis intimidated like a frozen hard grape. Which means that I can DRINK ALL THE LIQUOR I WANT and not be hit on... its the shit. YA HEARD - DA SHITZ. hum... i'm getting tired... 4 hours of sleep max isnt a cool tahng. sokill bill - no really, kill him... i don't know a bill. OOOOH so like I think i'm a cool ass chickie... so cool that the man that we have a "special connection" can date other women and I not be phazed. is something wrong with me? Hum... like the missy pussy don't fail me now song... cause i can unf! the fuck out of the man... Hum... I feel slutty... :( I'm sorry my sex is like woah... sigh - i love christopher... i want to wrap my legs around him and unf! well kiss him too... errrr... drunk and lonely - i'm going to pass the fuck out... like chris tucker in friday - you got knocked the FUKC out! later fools!

still jhob hunting, can't find a job

Thu, 09 Oct 2003 21:46:52 MST

i could get a jov with porno placei bet hey wouldn mind if i had drunkjournali will try gwttign jobs wtiht tother placxe instead.today is sam's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHADAY samnow he can go drink with us and if he gets carded no one will care. like when we went to that place and they caded sam and he qwwas underage but they didnt' care anywat.that was awesome.katy is complaining about alltelsam is birthday faghis real name is kevinhahahahahahahahashut up

robot chats with mike

Mon, 06 Oct 2003 22:51:11 MST

MIKE: CHRIS WOULKD BE COOLER IF HE WEREN'T A FAGgo robot: HE'S NOT A FAG!!go robot: WE GET IT ON! go robot: QUITE OFTEN.MIKE: ITS A FRONTMIKE: HE SECRETLY LONGS FOR THE COCKMIKE: HE TOLD ME TO BEND DOWNMIKE: AND DROP THE SOAPgo robot: WAIT... HE TELLS ME THAT, TOO....MIKE: I BET HE'D STICK IT IN YOUR BUTT IF YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTIONgo robot: I'D BET THAT TOOMIKE: BE WHAT, ANALLY RAPED?go robot: ... what is going on here?MIKE: WHAT ISN'T GOING ON HEREgo robot: agreed.

drink moer pee

Sat, 04 Oct 2003 03:43:45 MST

listne up uou pieces opf shit./ o've been fdirnking. you all eat balls, fdafdgs. i'm so great. i went tot this party and drank some ebers and stuff. amnd bauileutys and 15241 and amn, i'm blasted. its was fun, hot girls were there. amd i knew ofne of the hot fitlrdes. i want3ed to do her. oh well. thewn id rank morew. and here i am for your enteretainment. CHRIS,. GOP SVCHO0 YOUR NAGDS OFF FAFGGTO!!

happy birthdya STILL

Wed, 01 Oct 2003 23:27:06 MST

you know, FAR BE IT for me to double post but fuck you guys it's my websiteIT IS STILL MY BIRTHDAY yeah fuckguess whati don't knwoi gotta get katys camera hooked up so i can take new drunk camsjoe can change the drunk camWHY DOESN'T HEfucekrtoday joe and i made MICRO MACOT live and onlneit goes www.micro-macro-nettat;s the placew!my stomach hurts

happy birthday to mE

Wed, 01 Oct 2003 00:30:46 MST

yo ho ho! it is my birthday!YAR i got a new hoody! and ICO the game and i like it all i am trying to get REAL drunk because that's cooli just said "it's OCTober now not SEPTober" that's funnyfuck you guysi want to go play minigoilf but it has been raining and shit. that's ok, we played skeeball instead and won some cool prizes. like a kaliendosocpe. and a chinese finger trap. and a ring. COOL!!!later we weill go to some medeival thing because sams birthday is soon too and we're going to have a great birthday bash for the both of us. also i can't wait for new years when we will have awesome bash2.0YARRRRkaty has boobs

hammerhoused

Tue, 30 Sep 2003 03:12:20 MST

tonight i got: shitdickefd hammerfucked shit housed FUckerdicked Hammerhoused TOnayu bLAIR HOSUED fuCKER hoUSED haMMERSHOUISED MOSNTERNECKED sHITTYDICKED dRUNKWRFACED shITERHOUSED jESUSFACED mOSESHOUSED durNKJOURNAMLHOUSED

the captain came along on this voyage

Sun, 28 Sep 2003 02:54:53 MST

so i wente to this wedding today. ther ewedding was preytyt boring, but i mean, its a wedding, they're kinda boring, you kbnow, what witht he chursh part. BUT THEN! then you go to the reception. You drink at the reception, or they throw you out on your ass, for nit drinkin g cause oyu pay and shit, and i mean loike, you don't wanna be rude! so the receptoion was fuin. i took some picetrues opf people i didn't know. this one dudes was dirnking two beer bnottles at wonce,. i got a nice photo of thenat,. so then i dropped off stuffs at my fdads girlsfirends house, then went home. i sat sraournd, and my friend came over. we wedatched cky4, i tohink it was four. the shit on alot of stuff. this post sucks, die

yay for yay, bang that girl

Sun, 28 Sep 2003 01:23:17 MST

mikey. you'd better fuck thta girl tonight. weddings are the best opportunities to meet slutss.also, you'd better be prepared for when we come visit in november. i'm determined to drink youer hat under the table.it's me and chris' 6 month anniverasry today )the 28th) na yay for us!! we are great. yes.eat my vagina if you think otherwise :)

goodbye johnny cash

Thu, 25 Sep 2003 01:17:33 MST

so bill buys me this 12 pckandi dont argue, i just start pallying madden 04 with the whole plAYACTION SHITA and its all wrrid to me cuz im palystatino boorn ad bred but whatefer, if god shal ll provide i shall eventially puke on it... so fast forward when im trying to desipher the tinhg it sez on my ca[, and it sez "drink witj your ex girflreidn, it will make things inerestningi...on that not,e we have bben listening to G G ALLIN and the VOICE OF THE COYOTE IN THE ONE SIMPSONE EPISODE WHEN HOMER EATES THE GWATAMALLAN INSANITY PERRER IN NONE OTHER THAT THE VOICE OF JOHNNY THE MOTHER FUCKING CASH... sigh. tear.he will be missed. I think im gonna ost latr being that rhere is only one slice left. and as spider wpuld say.....cute girls binge drink.

Drunk Epiphanies from Doc Whiskey

Wed, 24 Sep 2003 03:59:11 MST

Why do we persevere in the face of ovious fruitlessness? sssss? 1) That picture of bert to the left makes me think of zomie beach devils....change it. Something about the red hood. RED HOOD RED HOOD RED HOOD!!!! 2) Have you ever wondered when and where and how you will die? This question delights me for the "what if" factor. If I die in such and such a circumstance then I hope such and such happens before I die....the possibilities are endless. IF only we knew!!!! Perhaps that is the great fear; that we will slways live another day whilst temporarily putting off living. I hope when I finally decide to live you are all disgusted. I hope one day to be disgusted by you in turn. Isn't the desire for life not only that we live it but that others also live ti to its fullest? WE do not fear our own deaths so much as the eradication of memory. Memory-Dear Mimir-is our loving touchstone. I hope to god I am forgotten and left to rot in a mound-grave. 2000 years from now I hope they uproot me and still don't know what to make of me. 3) I wish I spoke French. Make fun of them all you want, they still can charm yer girlfriends pants off of her faster than yer stupid ass and a 24 pack of Rolling Rock longnecks can. Also, you suck in bed. But to read Beckett, Moliere, Montaigne, Rimbaud, Verlaine, Mallarme, et. al. in their native tongue is an entrancing enticement of penile proportions. 4) Numbering this post has been pintless.5) I might as well make another stupid statement about hings I've done. I saw that Woody Allen film tonight, "Anywhere Else" I think it is called, and was impressed. Not as good as "Deconstructing Harry," but close. Jason Biggs could stand to commit suicide, bur Ricci was wonderful as the perfect girl I'd love to date and then face-beat. What a bitch in this film. We've all known girls like hger portrayal here...why is it wrong to strike women again? I blame the NAACP. They are worthless niggers in search of glorification anyways, might as well throw them a bone. Of white dickmeat. It probasbly tastes better than the endless slurm of practised self-hatred they are forced to drink every day.99) What a craxy number. Otherwise. Be happy you son't belong to anybody. And if you do, kill them. Please fuck all sense of law and order. If a aman is wrong he deserves to die...no matter who administers justice. Damn, I'm finally drunk. When drunk I get very vigilante. Vigilante should be an adjective to describe my drunk state. God, I wish I was born in Ireland. Away from these already dead fools. Whaer my money counted for naught.Fucker.But,Love,Doc Whiskey

ugh

Thu, 18 Sep 2003 01:36:27 MST

So I was at this takcy little club the other night and some guy hit on me then showed me a picture of his wife and kids. I thought it was very classy.

weiufkhf

Tue, 16 Sep 2003 03:06:04 MST

i thonkgirl solhoukld have to drive naked..gtheref ore there would br less accidents ad tottlay lsss girl Frivder womNS..D...AND THEE FORE WOULD LEAD TO SO MUCH MORE BETTER INSURANCE PREMOUMS AND THAT WOULD LEAD TO hottjer pussy...... i get so dick fucked whe nkateturns 21 thst i doinbg go to my dendodrifelia... classss tomorrow at 2:30........im gonn Call mcnabb ansd twllghimv rot shjip pour or ahip out. ween cat

fucking minesweeper

Mon, 15 Sep 2003 23:30:59 MST

why can't i ever win at minesweeper?i mean, i'm a smart guyminesweeper is a cerebral gamesmart guys are supposed to be good at cerebral gamesand for the fucking LIFE OF ME i have never comepleted a game of minsweeper on expert. there's just too much guessing! it always comes down to a 50/50% guess and for some reason i guess wrong EVERY GOD DAMN TIME.i'll tell you what, it makes me feel fucking stupid.fuck that shit.

FUCKT HE EAGLES!

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 21:04:30 MST

FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES!FUCKT HE EAGLES! duhh... they are worse than aids....and to think i had faith in mcnabb.

hey girlfriend don't get raped

Sat, 13 Sep 2003 23:19:44 MST

damn it... protecting my girl from further rapage... this is why you have girl friends... I'm so tired of guys trying to get far with the fucking line "why you beeing mena' like what the fuck? So I was chuggin miller high life... I am the fucking high life - there ain't no other - just woke up my girl jackie from the couch - dam n I should have takn a pic... it wa s fuckin great - she was like passed out in a pose that would have sne the men runing... hehe... I love my girls... so far I have my girl jackie - her friend Rachel - her friend Jody - and can't forget Janette... and then in NO i have the big X and trixie - and then have my girl rina! what's up in cananda!!!! It was hot as hell at the game--- I think i'm sticking with my girl friends - guys except for the awesome hostestest of this site - Christian - are so lame - Christian - is such a cool awesome dude - katy - you better be fucking him right - like ugh - and ugh... lol - ok - I'm think I'm beyond sauced - I'm still waiting on the moment when i can ugh uigh my love ;) I have a love! can you believe! ok - I won't discuss my sexual outline when I am going to meet him sometime soon hopefully - but I'll tell you this - hhehehe - Renewal sex is beyond cool - it is soothing to the core - and since I haven't had sex in so long - one of our asses gonna be worn out like flint - mo fo! - like flint!

people are really dumb: the money cannon

Sat, 13 Sep 2003 22:55:36 MST

okALL DAY today on the news they've been telling us about this multimilltionare and his plan to blast aircannons full of money into a crowd of people. he's one of those crazy rich guys who claims to want to help poor folk but just wants publicityyou know what i'm taling about, it was on the simpsons.ok. so they reported this stroy during the day today about 100 times. every five minutes it was "MULITLIMILLIONAIRE MAN WILL BE LAUNCHNG MONEY AT THIS TIME AND PLACE BLA BLA BLA"i just saw another story abot it. this time it's " SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE INJURED AS A MAN THROWS MONEY INTO A CROWD""a man"i am going to kill everyone. i swear to god.

yoooooooo momma is drunkk

Sat, 13 Sep 2003 03:31:30 MST

damn it - I'm trunk! in fact I can't wait to just fuck it out with my ex.... yum! My ass gonna be TORE UP! ya hear me kickie! damn it... janet ! ouch - my foot hurts... I want some fine ass soulmate booty from the hootie... i want to get drunk with him and just bang his ass out... and show him my worth... That's right -= I do my kegals... squeeze squeeze - let that mucther fucker go drip drip b/c of my muther fucking kung fo squeze squeeze... man i haven't had sex in so long its not funny... I'm waiting... isn't it athat so cute... I think that If I wait enoug it be likea virgin - o does masterbation count - because if it doesn't then I'll be like a hoe's loose pussy.... arrrr! whiskey is for the luving.... the only drink i for real muther fuckers! I'm gonna get some pussy tomororw! some damn good phat pussy! all the way ... damn = i'm goin got crash it out like a mo fo.... hum.... that means i have to mess up my clean and tidey bed... ha - FI0 - peace out...

sheets are expensive

Thu, 11 Sep 2003 00:11:24 MST

you know what i just hought ofmichael jackson probably spent like thousands of dollars on the sheets n his beds that he molested little kids oni wish i had thousands of dollars to spend on god damn sheetsfuck you micahel jacksonfuck you in your big gay ass

listen bitcxes: aka matt

Wed, 10 Sep 2003 23:27:54 MST

you know who is a bitch? matt./ that guy is such a bitchHUH MATT BITCH???oki have nothing to say really every one just has no faith in me so thay're like "BLA BLA POST YOU ARE A DRUNK BITCH BLA BLA"i am a living jokeHOW DO YOU LIKE THAT FUCKERS!?!@?!fuck you guys i was so trashed last night but my stoupid web hosts went down AGAIN like fucking cunts and so i coulnd't post anything. PERSONALLY i don't think i'm drunk enough to warrant any of this but katy beats me when i don't do what she says.OWCHps: JOBY WHERE IS MY PIZZZA MONEY YOU FAG

no sleep

Tue, 09 Sep 2003 08:30:56 MST

I have figured out the way to get toasted as well as act like a slobbing eidot - wow - i typed idot witha n e in front of it - hehe - makes sense being on the web. So yeaveh - damnit - I hvven\'t slept - and this is going to be a long ass dragged out day... and I am about to take a test.... how fun can it get...? WHOOT! I need a shot of whiskey when I get home. It will make my day all better.

Drink Recipe: Car Bomb

Wed, 03 Sep 2003 03:47:47 MST

Ingredients:1/2 shot Whiskey 1/2 shot Bailey's irish cream 1 pint Guinness stout Mixing instructions:Combine (proportions of 50/50) Bailiey's Irish Cream and irish wiskey into one shot glass. Drop the shot into a mug of guinness and chug until empty.

bowser

Mon, 01 Sep 2003 02:53:19 MST

omg i armdr drinkging so much drink that i wanna fukc you whle i[m\' asleep an d you ar playihg bowser driuing level 4 of super amiro bors/ omg suck it suck ity coummm sFUCK YUOU!

UHOH

Sun, 31 Aug 2003 22:52:00 MST

I CANT GET CHRIS TO STOP SINGING WEST SIDE STORY SONG.S. ALOS, THIS IS KATYE. ALSO, HE DOES HATVE JHATCHETS, MIKEY. WE HAVE TO DRIVE 565296532 HOURS TOMORRORW.

uhey listneo up assholes.

Sat, 30 Aug 2003 02:50:05 MST

O',m deurn and there isn't ai thing toyunca n tdo about it. also, i'm rgreta. so anyway. i worked tonight, and thiat shit was wackbut i got berdss bnon w and tey are prtayb good. But u;m lying because theyre arounert too good. they'rew thios fake ass yuengling beer stuff. yu genlign makes them, buts its not uyeniogling, its lord shcerytdslif. and it tates noe as good. you guys are fags. my head is re omotn sorta psinning. fuck. fuck me if youre a bithoet bithc. i like hot buithces/ FUCK. ok, fuck this shures. no one is cognoanin commecnt anyway, you fucking peices ofn shuitere that comes vofutnro fot me butt

Note to Kevin: Shut up

Fri, 29 Aug 2003 23:38:37 MST

kevin. seriously. i'm not impressed this time. i kill roaches weekly. yeah, i could relate them to some epiphany, but i'd just assume blame people for being fucking stupid rather than try and relate it to a cockroach with it's head cut off.take, for example,. jenm, from our dear robotskull. my god is she a moron. and as much as a few of us would like to cut her head off- much like the cockroach- i still think she would continue to NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP.feminists make me want to grow a dick. for serious. this girl, in fact, embarasses me as a female. she took a women's studies course and all of a sudden she's a feminazi. well, my dear, let me grow a penis so you can suck it.in the meantime, i'm going to end this post now because i'm tired and i've got 7 feminist protests tomorrow PLUS my interview with K.D. Lang. whew! what a busy life i lead!THIS PENIS PARTY'S GOT TO GO, HEY HEY, HO HO

stupid computer turns itself off

Fri, 29 Aug 2003 23:22:13 MST

i must be briefmy ocmputer has taken to TURING ITSELF OFF for no particlatr readsonbut i wanted everyone to know DRUNKJOURNAL is now an affilate of SEXSEXWORLD(http://www.sexseworld.com)i hope thus can be a bridge between two E/N scenes who boht love being drunkalso if you deliviver pizza don't ever deliver it to joby he won't pay

Social Norms Are Ridiculous

Fri, 29 Aug 2003 04:33:02 MST

So, Tonight I thought about how people react in predetermined manners without any regard to what they really feel or think. I thought this at work where idiocy is the norm. Some fat old Buffet-like fella was singing and there, in the audience, were fat middle-aged "parrotheads" lifting their glasses to his stolen songs about cruisin' on ships and meeting senortias which were so obviously full of baby shit that I could barely stand the yelping. Still, they cheered him on and grafted this now quiet desire of their souls for a few seconds to their inebriated minds. Why? I couldn't fathom it for the life of me. When I got home I found this penis-sized cockroach in the kitchen and I grabbed a peanut-butter jar and brought it adroitly down upon its body. However, little did I know that I have the executioner's grace, for I merely severed the head off the offending member. A tan jelly oozed from the body and the head lay cenitmeters away. Both wer moving-clawing, grasping chewing, twitching-even though I had effectively severed the main line of reason to the body from the primitive form of brain matter. And it was as if a Joycean epihany struck me at that moment. I understood the fat middle-aged men gleefully and moronically raising their glasses to a more moronic man. There was no longer a connection, though their bodies were intact. They were no more than penisroaches. And I the beheader. Love,Doc.

my resume is awesome

Thu, 28 Aug 2003 00:15:35 MST

yeah soyou knwo what' sfunny? this is my greatest technological achievement. sure i had help from bert but i did a LOT of coding around here and doing this taught me a shitload of toher stuff that i have used in a more- work related environmnt, but hellHOW DO YOU SHOW DRUNKJOURNAL OFF TO EMPLOYERSthere must be a way to spin this(ps to employers: uh...)it's like i'm applying for jobs at a baby milk factory and the only demostratable expericene i have is working at a chemical weapons factory. ONLY I DON'T LIVE IN IRAQ HAHAHAHuh(ps to employers: i support the united states and its capitalist system and i will shoot anyone who disagrres)oh fuck. someone post so this goes awayotherwise i'll necver find a job

Challenger Disaster

Mon, 25 Aug 2003 03:42:45 MST

"No one knows how long the astronauts were conscious to consider their fate. It is possible that, as in the case of Challenger, the reinforced crew cabin remained intact some seconds longer than the rest of the vehicle. Then, still hypersonic, it too was pulled apart as it hurtled through the thickening air."Godbless those who go before us with bravery and fear. God forgive those of us who forfeit such a life.Love,Doc

i hate girls

Sat, 23 Aug 2003 20:46:05 MST

damit all to hell, never trust interent girls and stuff!!!!!!!!!!so her i go travleing togod knows where to meet some chcik and she dosent even show upm fuck. but if you know me and my rants you probably coulda geuessed that. stupid me, i'll never get any damit!!!!oh well, thats what they make booze for, yeah

darts

Sat, 23 Aug 2003 02:15:33 MST

listen. i am the datr cjampion. no one can beat me at sdarts. its in my genes. because my jkmother was awesoen at darts. she won a bowling trophy bac in the day for beinsg so goodgf at dart.s YEAH THAS RIGHT NBWOLING TROPHY FOR DARTS. FUCK OFF IT WAS STATEN ISLADN. anyway. so i wont at darts tonight. AGAIN. like 457354 toimes. dopnt hate. hate is ugly. in 8 days i ge t a roommmate that i can have sex wtih uyaya!!!!

huh what, am i durnk

Sat, 23 Aug 2003 01:50:02 MST

so tihonguit i was dirnking. yuenglings./ thand teh were great. geez, sui derna thame sefvceat AND I LIKEDNIT and dsopmeo fag fcalled me. o itinkg his mnam,e was chirx.we talkewd about shit, and oit was freppsry funy. ad i topok a piss whilw were on thje onhone. then,. my dad called, and ghe couldin'g tell i was driounka, he's a dumbasasds. bvut i guess that;s worf rthe better. also, any hot cbithes out there who wanna do me, speladoing now or forever wholdw your peadce, or nomy cock,, tbvucnes. thia [post sucks i wuitq, fags

i'll drink 14 year olds under the table

Fri, 22 Aug 2003 23:53:08 MST

ok i;ll admit it, i speelled that brass monkey thing wrong on puropse. i do't know how it started i think i d did it but i started speilling it like that andi kept on doing it. BRASSD MONKEYDKtoday was my last day on the job that was my jobi now have one week of nothing to wrorry abotu thne i move in with katy in tampa and i haev to worry about getting a new job but i think i'll be fine. today i think i might have made a 14 year old cry. i think i'm awesome because of that if you disagree please tell me and i'll make you cry too.no one can drink more than me.no one can beat me at tetris.if you've been warned once, you've been warned twicekevin, you r aass is mine!

White Horse whiskey drinking

Fri, 22 Aug 2003 05:10:50 MST

The ramifications of such a name are too beautiful to enumerate.I do not like frat boys. There are many groups that I don't get along with-for the most part, if you are in a group, I don't gewt along with you-but frat-boys fucking put me on edge. It is their lobotomized cockiness, I think. Fuck, all I want to do is beat it out of them. I am lucky in that I am a nerd with muscles. I have not always been thus. Indeed, I grew me muscles out of strife and inability to react against the bully/frat-boy type. But now I have brutishness. Some of us handle life's little "fuck you's" with aplomb and humor. I prefer to kick the shit ourt of life's little messenger. I have ended a fraternity. I got a fraternity kicked off campus with my fists, goddam it. Sig Ep, eat shit and die in the ditch I made you dig.....I tried to patalyze that fuckcunt but his neck was too strong and they took me off too soon. Still, if you are a frat-boy, please quit...it only makes you stupid. Also, you live with a bunch of guys who secretly desore sausage for every meal. Drink whiskey instead. It enables you to not only fight the gods, but quasi frat fags as well with no scars to hinder your beautiful evening. Erin Go Bragh,Doc.

when i drink i listen to g love

Fri, 22 Aug 2003 00:53:16 MST

damn skee skee mutherfucker - skee skee gawd damn...:) I'm the shitznik! I'm going to make out like a bandit with the Big G to the L - O - V - E... I eman with a name like G Love how can you go wrong?poo butt - well I get to return clothes and look for something more "me" - and fold laundry - fun... and think of what I want as my graphics... i hate time consuming details i wish i had a program that would be plugged to my head and if I thought of something it would write it out all fast and shit and bam! there would be my idea.fuck it...

CAPTAIN ALEX DRINK A BRASS MONKEY

Thu, 21 Aug 2003 04:17:38 MST

BLIGN BLGIN I AM CAPTIN ALEX OF THE ALEXIANS. TO ALL OF THOSE MRONTA:L HUMANS I WAM COMMANTDING YOU TO DRINK. YES. WYE SHAL ALL HERE THE DURNKING MOANS OF THE BERJOISEE AND CELGREATE. IN ADDIATIONALLYT, MY LEFT LEGE IS 3/8"incehes longer thena my righgt. NWO YOU KNOWAND KOINWING IS HALF THE BATTLE LIKE GI JOJEN TAUGH ME ON TEHJLEVISIONS.ALSOA, I AM NAKEDSPOSTNCRIGPT: LETS HODL HADNS AND MAKE OUT. BEYAOTHS<#$ 3 alessxAHHAHAHDAHH I LOVE UYOU JOEYS FOR POSITNG EMN LIKE THS

chris oyu are the dath of humantity!

Thu, 21 Aug 2003 03:34:51 MST

sop there is som fucekd up shit asbotu shit.oen if s tha the BARTENDER IS TH OWNERS WFIE thats shit awas torallyl fucked up.the second i that my motrro controls are severely lacking at times, thogu luckily those times seem to do strictly with mexicna food.i have a joke:how many times are your asscheecks spread!2!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHfuc you.

Your mom's squirt

Sun, 17 Aug 2003 08:10:10 MST

Abstract: It is postulated there is not a precise static instant in time underlying a dynamical physical process at which the relative position of a body in relative motion or a specific physical magnitude would theoretically be precisely determined. It is concluded it is exactly because of this that time (relative interval as indicated by a clock) and the continuity of a physical process is possible, with there being a necessary trade off of all precisely determined physical values at a time, for their continuity through time. This explanation is also shown to be the correct solution to the motion and infinity paradoxes, excluding the Stadium, originally conceived by the ancient Greek mathematician Zeno of Elea. Quantum Cosmology, Imaginary Time and Chronons are also then discussed, with the latter two appearing to be superseded on a theoretical basis. What in the fuck does this have to do with getting me laid??????Love,Kevin.P.S.Sorry to post 2wice in 1ne night.

Age and Life

Sun, 17 Aug 2003 06:14:40 MST

To grow older is a sadness.Your face falls and you start wondering what else will, both physically and mentally. Your will to go on also falls quickley. It's only soo good for soo long and then it ends in picket fences and marriage. there are a few true yeatrs and then all is blackness and longing for the good times. you have children, a family, a life at the corporaption. "4 real" a musician once carved on his arm during an interview wherein the intervirewer asked if the the man was for real with his lyrics and ideals. Don't ask if you don't want to know. We are all at war. Against god. Honestly, I don't mean in the atheistic sense, each man is ful on at war with god no matter what he believes. To be atheistic denotes a geeling of denial. To deny god is to acknowledge his existence. In denying you acknowledge. True atheism is to never acknowledge, you see. But I think we all take on god. Fists bared we land the heavy fist. And find it matters little. With the years the fists fall softer. We grow older. We lose. It's only one hit he has to land. We have so many to throw....4 real, my friends, it is so soon that al the happiness falls away. And still we never tire of the match. Do not go gentle unto anything.Plilosophy died with Aristotle and was zombified with Nietszche and Camus. All else is silly rubbish, except Leibniz who is clever. Enjoy the true years. Try to die in them.Doc.

my EX

Thu, 14 Aug 2003 22:34:57 MST

tasteas liek fukcing piss but i'm drunk as fukci8ng hell 0 asdf;alsdjf;a - damn i hate my ex... HTATEAHTE - guys suck - big fackt donkey dick... and futrher more... i hate you. yes you... you know why? because you hate me tooo - isnt' hat nic.e... ah - have alot of frustrations - and i'm drunk as shit - well close to anyway... damn - i hate my website and fucking cheery people that are up my ass all the eimt... and bulsshit gusy that jsut want to get down my pants... hate... I think i want to phocking be alone and kill mywelf after i cry to sleep and scream my mutherfuphikn lungs out how i hate life... ok i don't hate it that much but damn - its good to spill... still hate certain lame guys... that is why i'm a lesbian now - lol lol lol - ok - can't stop laughing... lol - well i'm going to the nasty south - new olreans tomorwo... blue man group... they hopefully will smoke me out if not indicafolower will - my big ass crack girl - lover here... ahaghaogh - damn i'm stoked... haven't had se x in muhmmm... damn - a long ass time - i could be liek a virgin now again... tight and all soacking wet... i period alont - lll weosseeee seee - .... .... ... maybe it si like a pause in my thought process - wow i spelled that right... i wish i could have someone do my stpid webpage... i have great ideas but jsut don't know how to do the programming - or someeone just show me - espalain to me! Cause I'm stpudi... unlike my XXX - damn him and his muther fucking seduction.dom hate him htate that hate htathe tahtehathate hum well with out me his fashion has went down like dude you don't wear a nice shirt with blue jeans - they have to be a dark blue jeans - hahahaha - suptid boy... time for some garbage... later fools...

on my god achfrisr ai hate you

Thu, 14 Aug 2003 03:50:13 MST

oka so its been a apretty logn tiem adn araelly i ahvent thosughat of wynhti9ng new to ssay except for this: martinaia glassses only contributw to eht breakage of glasses, and: makign a huge baevy of snaceks sfor dinenr seems to preetty much be the way to go when its summertime and its hot as hell.meaning shrip with garlic, slad, fruit, salmohn, brea`d, and some other shit all togetheralso chees that shit emslls like rotten opoon (see "becki") and hence man i love that s thio.okay sere this movie daled two lane blacktop its funnyalso get the new mars volta that shist is sfucking out of control like what. also okay its time for me ot eb like :blam.

Among other things the bitter waters of Phlegethon

Thu, 14 Aug 2003 03:10:02 MST

Remember thou art mortal.What for those of us who are not? Surely we know that there are those whose immortality is all too apparent. Oddyseus, for one, knew that he would never cease to strive against the gods. What if we are one whose life shall surpass all others?I drink fire because I'm forced against the picket fence and happiness. These things are not for me. Is it hubris?....how dare this little drunkard believe himself to be worthy of acclaim???? Napoleon spoke of following his star, an impossible force to deny; how else to explain that dwarf's rise to emperorship? We imagine such men as Patton mad...then let me be mad. Let me dwell in madness and there keep my ideals. I cannot be normal, I cannot have life insurance, I will forget to pay deductibles-I don't even know what they are, I will tear my vehicle to pieces driving it across the country and love every moment alone and away from others, I will hurt, I will love, I will never stop until I'm cold, and I realize that I should have used semi-colons.Lord, grant me the power to follow my star, live more than they are, and die in a bar.Love, Doc.

drink recipe: oyster shot

Tue, 12 Aug 2003 11:43:11 MST

one oyster in shot glassadd vodka til fulldash of hot saucetake a shotthat's disgusting.

alcohol and night swimming! it's a winning combination!

Mon, 11 Aug 2003 23:29:38 MST

i bought a box of franzia tonight that's so cheap the type of wine didn't even have a name. it's just WHITE. that's wonderful!also!i hate STEVE HARVEY. what the fuck is up with that guy. i hate his hair most of all. it looks like a fucking helmet. and i hate his stupid show. and his stupid new show. and his stupid bugerking commercials.HEY STEVE HARVEY ARE YOU READING THIS? YOU SUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLEhe pronounces "can't" like "cain't"god DAMN i hate that. and what an UNFUNNY motherfucker.ALSO i am mad that there is a modest mouse song in this minivan commercial. it says some shit like "moms are changing, so are minivans" and they're playing modest mouse and i'm like "my mom doesn't like modest mouse, she likes being a stupid fucking whore"woahthis deoderant commercial with the strong independent woman who changes some fag's tire for him is even worse, even without modest mousealso 7th heaven is totally bogusfuck you guys

Listen to the Doc

Mon, 11 Aug 2003 05:31:10 MST

It is with an imperceptible charm that I meander my way through life and hpope not to be caught. What about me is so charming? I get touched intead of dlapped and laughed at instead of scolded. I could deny God's fucking existence in front of twenty baptist snake handlers speaking in tongues like it was their job and STILL I'm all copacetic and qit e the catch. What is wtrong with you fucking women . ???????? don't you know a bad thing when you see it???? women are perhaps stupder for sleeping with me. I tell them this. I tell them I will make them cry. I tell them I will ruin their lives. I tell them I will only objectify theri breasts until they become an object of sexaul ejaculation..... I will never care... because I can't anymore. Sex fo sex's sake!!!! And let life tumble where it may. None will ever resi9de aopart from this desire. I will always call it, send it away, cajole it, love it, hate it, resent and despise its ability to make me respect ti. I want more and more those heaving chests and flashing eyes. You are beautiful, don't ever ever stop your rhthym. On me. Don't ever thin k I believe what I say....Doc Whiskey.

are you hot or not

Sat, 09 Aug 2003 22:38:05 MST

you evre go to hotornot.com? that place is funnyy, like all these peopel looking fo ratention or something, i'm on there, can you find me? i got like an 8.4 so i guess i must be hot, i find that hard to belive, 8.4 is like the average or somethign but i see an awful lot of 1's in there, how is it that one girl can say i'm like a 9 and another say i'm a 1, fucking girls, i hate them. i always look on the "meet me" part of that site, yo uclick on the meet me button and if they like you they click yes or something, i must have clicked yes on 200 girls and have yet to recive a yes in return, so i aint no 8.4 obviously, darn. lots of people on there in there profiles write shit like "dont click yes unless you're black, or asian, or another girl, or somethign or another" i wish i could email them just to say fuck you, i dont know why, i just want to.mAN i'm sleepiy, must be that stuff i drank, always a good feeling, makes all the pain go away, liek a zombie eating brains, it's great, yummy and stuff.i miss my frineds, i say the most funny stuff but no one is around to hear it, it sucks. it truly does suck being alone 24 hours a day + seven days a week, kindda drags on our brain and makes you stupidstrange thing typing, you cant see how it actually takes me like 5 minutes or somethning between sentances, i keep fading in and out, it's weird, i like it tho', nothing like sitting around alone and drinking, i have so much fun, amybe i'll sleep on the floor tonight, that'll be different

cant durnk jounral

Fri, 08 Aug 2003 01:23:23 MST

I think the problem is tha t this domain is too hard to type. Someone shouold remind me when I m sober to bookmark this beacause I only come here when I am drnk.I spent al lot of tim e organizing the Frank Zappa concerts that are oin my computer and now the tags are okay for some of the,I started tyo mix the wine with club soda because I am thirsty.

boys are crap

Thu, 07 Aug 2003 22:44:53 MST

ha ha! the night has just furkcing begun!blar blah blarrrrrr!!!!!!!!!! fuckin posers! FUCK BOYS! FUCKING BULLSHITTY BOYS>>>> DAMN - wait til tomorrow night all my girls (cock teasers) will be out with me - HAHAHAH! ah - hehehe.... hahaha hehehe... lol...ok can I change my title... to bitch maker - cause ya gonna be my BITCH!D;) (in an all innocent grin)

gustavps wants the rums and cokes. too bad i drank 'em all.

Thu, 07 Aug 2003 02:11:36 MST

go robot: WHATgo robot: BOOM SHAEK SHAKLE SHAKE THE ROOMgo robot: CLOICK CLICK CLICK CLIOK BOOOOOOOMOptimusRhyme: Sounds like SOMEONE is rapping!go robot: STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DONT WANNA GET IWTH THISOptimusRhyme: Only when YOU stop acting like you don't wanna get with this.go robot: YPOU WANT THE FESH PRINCE AND HIS BELLAIREgo robot: AJD BY BELLAIRE I MEAN PENISOptimusRhyme: YOU WANT THE KNIGHT RIDER AND HIS KITOptimusRhyme: AND BY KIT I MEAN BELLAIREgo robot: I DO THOUGHgo robot: the kit car mdade ma happygo robot: in the pantsOptimusRhyme: You and me both, sister.

Doc Whiskey's Chat Log, drinking white horse scotch

Wed, 06 Aug 2003 23:11:45 MST

Doc Whiskey: Irk! You've been skrilled!!!seth: write your gay paper about homosDoc Whiskey: Yeah, i should.Doc Whiskey: You are right.seth: i love salad barsseth: i wish i had one in my houseDoc Whiskey: I want a pit bbq in my kitchen.Doc Whiskey: hey are you good with building stuff?seth: nahDoc Whiskey: Oh, Okay.Doc Whiskey: Die, then.seth: bbq pit's not so hardseth: you just need some rocksseth: and a big metal grillseth: and fire underneathDoc Whiskey: Thanks, christian.Doc Whiskey: i was thinking about something else.Doc Whiskey: Hey, why don't you tell me how to build a fucking lean-to.seth: woodDoc Whiskey: You're fired.Doc Whiskey: I'm getting more whiskey.seth: good fer youso this is your fearless leader. What a toolbag.Love,K.

drunk chat log; the next day after drinking

Sun, 03 Aug 2003 21:03:57 MST

Ok, maybe I'm cheating because this isn't really my drunk time, but I figure I owe it to karzill:8:30 PMsara:sex?right now?karzill:FUCKZXwhy do you loog on an off so mucyysara:i just did once.karzill:DON"T THINK I DON'T NOCIEsara:bite me.lick me.turn off your sound.karzill:BABRGRsara:aim sound = fagskarzill:i don't need soundsi am a losresara:what you have a "notice" on mekarzill:that mean si amm alsiaw lOOKINGsara:what have you been drinkingkarzill:i seem m y buddy list!sara:how big is your goddamn listi keep it real smallwhat the fuck i thought you were the master of minamalismkarzill:my buddylsist is aklk SARA PHUNK HELLOSARA PHUNKE HELLO SIGNES ONFsara:hahakarzill:SARASONGIHIHI SINGS ONsara:dont forget saranyikarzill:SARASIING HIHIH SING OGGsara:jesuskarzill:SARA NYI SIGNS ONI SEE ITsara:what the fuck have you been drinking you fucking assholekarzill:7sara:can i see your penisdid you steal the 7karzill:don't know can tyouno it i s cheap t circle ksara:i shaved my cuntit feels weirdi shaved it ALLkarzill:wowsara:yeah it was hardbut i like itkarzill:awesiebut now htere are no puerssara:thats the point8:35 PMkarzill:i know but puebs have their place

straight from the bottle

Sun, 03 Aug 2003 07:19:03 MST

a aman and a chikld die at the same time in The Faith. when they gte to heaven hte man occuoys a higher levcel then the child. the chikld cries out to god "why does htis man hold hirwer place than me!?' and god says 'he has done many the good works blah' anjd the chjild says "why did you let me die befor i was able to do many the good worjks?' and god replies " i knew yopu would grow yo be a siiner and so it is better you die a child" therefor e a cry arose from those condemned to the depths of hell "WHY OH LORD DID YOU NOT LET US DIE BEFOR WE BEDCAKE THE SINNERS!?>!?'Graveyard: where'd you put it??Graveyard: tell the truth now!BrayneLight: i put it in my mouthBrayneLight: i have oral fixationsGraveyard: give it back!Graveyard: I really don't see why you would have an oral fixation with my rectal thermometerBrayneLight: well if you would just let me tongue your ass we wouldnt have to go through this all the timeGraveyard: Well, you know how much I enjoy playing hard to getBrayneLight: well then dont bitch at me when i find other wasy to get my satisfactionGraveyard: *cries*BrayneLight: dont cryGraveyard: *doesn't cry*BrayneLight: just loosen up with the ass playGraveyard: *cue porn music*

pharmamceutincals mixing alcohol and pills

Sun, 03 Aug 2003 04:13:16 MST

im drinking wine and consuimg pain meds. why docotrs trust me with rx medicine is beyond me. loratab, even generic brand, plus duplin wine is just heavenly. i abuse too many things. oh well. joby and lexci are my two new facorite people. i love you all. but i'm a picky bitch. let's all make out now. <4

day old bread and kerosene

Sun, 03 Aug 2003 01:46:58 MST

went to the pub. ruba dub pub. sang journey with mAndy. watched mIndy pass out on a tabel,. won 3 rounds of pool. I WIN.thats oretty much all. omgyouaredumbshutup. joey, please take my sister away and make her happy. also, chris and joey lets make that hioppuy commune amd live pff tje land.goodnight!

oh, this is what drunk people say

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 05:00:01 MST

you wish you were all predispopsed toward thne inexorable length to wehich you will all go to circumvent the most horrible atrocities you can imagine to comit.your haeinousness is unparralled by all but those who seek to mend your suffering delinquincy. uuuuggg thatn is the bad beer but you have the secret of many nwho have passed befor thoiguhn you shall notm tell for it ism not for 6you but foir the ntwo. what bcreature thiuis way comes? slouching toward bethlehem to be born.

dancing while drunk

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 04:12:05 MST

My friends are fun. I love the fact that none of us have rythim. We have fun on the dance floor though, so it's all good. I got asked to dance by this one creepy guy and I was like sorry, I'm with my friend and it's her birthday, so no. He was old. We went to the lame-ass mall of america where there was nothing but boring guys. I'm sad, I didn't even get to simulate sex on the dance floor with anyone even mildly cute. I'm not going there anymore. Our waiter at IHOP was totally into amy. It was really funny. She didn't even notice him, poor guy. But he brought her free ice cream and had everyone sing happy birthday. It was wonderfully embarrasing.

wecomle bakc to drunk blog posts, me

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 04:08:34 MST

hey.hey i know i vhaent paosted for a while . but tongiht, I am fucked. Lik enot your nomral frucked. Liek real fucked. I have a rant. I have ghiope you all will enhouy. So, ther is thus girl, jackki, I have wanted her dince I was like , 16, we went to sea woudl together. well, she is back n gmy hometown agoaing togight, and all IU coudl feel alll night logn is this pain is my chest. seh is the greatest. beuyt she is real in to my greind joim. jim makes a shotload of money a yeart. like more thatn 60lk a year. and he wnats on her. guess who she wants. ::shrug;: end emot reant. so i was gruinkg jager couretenst of jim.f he m akes a lot of mney so he wasn bugying all the drinksyu. and yeah. amy i s another year aloder but she licves too fatr away abd loved a tecan. fuckeing texan.s anhg fuck elise for living in michdingan. I am actually in lovs with some giryl i haver never mett. Make funs of met if you want. but i reasl y liove elise. we just wonty eveyr hapen.

southern girls have cute accents

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 04:01:49 MST

omg. i'm on the phone with allie. she's the worlds cutes accent seriously.i want her clitin my teethwowso.l joby is drukn an di'm valmost getting him with his penis out infront of a camera. he' is assuring allie she iwll et the peen at somet iem. because he will put it infront oher. so she can suck it. or somethingso anyway!ffucking. massive aclohol consumption and shit. this is nice. <3xoxoxococcc

Stupid Romance

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 03:57:21 MST

I ate some food so i am not that drunk anymore.i am really horny. i want to call this guy but like most guys he has this horribale need to "date" or some crap like that. IT IS 3 AM AND I WANT SEX. i want it really bad. it is a good thing i was too lazy to program his numera; in my ohenm.so, we went for amys' birthday aat the mall of america, yeah, it was interesting, we went to this bar "falshback" whcih was high a high school dance and i got the worlds wimpiest rum and coke. like the guy poured out a shot. just one, he didn't add anything extra. i gave a suck ass tip.did i menaton i wanted sex? right now it woudl be so good. all my old booty calls got in relationshi[s or married, stupid boys. makes me wanna cry.tomorrow i am getting a brazian, hopefully the cute boy will nbe able to enjoy it, i usually keep it short down there but i wasn't expecting things to happen so it wasn't droomed like usual last time.bah!@ I WANT SEX.

my phone sucks

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 03:39:55 MST

So i'm sitingg here, trying to make my fucking PGHONE WORKand its not! and i hate it cause i can't tcall anyone and make it work and tlak abd be funny, or ast least checke my messfges. I blame catherine zeta hones. Hse's making t moble not workinow and its really psisiogn me off. At fistd i thought it was jamie lee cutrsits fualt, buit i'm sure her being in wahsterve movie she's in wnow is far worse than this phone dilamea. SOMEONE MAKE MUY GODADMDN PHN EWORK OK?THANJKS NBUNCHSES! URGH! someone go to workwr sfor my tomororw, i ahtetr that oaKCE! ok, so anyiway, my phone still hates me, and i hate it likeqwise. I'm gonna close this post with a ridlee: WHY DOESN'T MY FUCKING PHONE WROKW RIGHT WHEN I WANTE TO USE IT AND GIVE MY THOSE STUPID BEERPS THAT AWRE SO ANONYING IT MAKES ME WANNAW SECREAM REAL LY LOUJD!?1#

wonky morning wonk

Fri, 01 Aug 2003 10:56:47 MST

its 9am - i was drinking at 6pm til 12ish last night - damn - i still feel tipsy - fuck this shit - i'm so slow right now its not funny... *hump* that was a slow laugh that I caught myself laugh and stopped it... ok - now its a smile... that wasn't so bad.Great drunk - stinking - cause its that after morning breath and feel when you been drinking all night - I was a damn porch monkey with my neighbors... why do I forget my camera on these essential moments?crunkend...ok - i can't sound that out to spell either - hm... fuck it

I have to make this quick. Ok.

Thu, 31 Jul 2003 06:41:20 MST

wednesday for the win

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 22:27:18 MST

yeah. wednesday night is the best night to drink!because ihaven't eatn today so a shot and a half of crown and a bunch of pepsi and i am feeeeeeelin good. i had the worlds best conversation with my exboyfreind today. we yelled at eachother. mmm. i want lots and lots of sex. with umm. well, youknow!i found seventy mp3s today i didnt' know i had, and i'm happy. i found KOMPRESSOR and i sent it to joby. and he's a prick. but i <3 him.yeah. i'm pretty drunk. i just thought a total stranger said "I love you" after i told them they had the wrong number. i'm not nearly drunk enough for this to be funny, so i'll end on my joke:what did helen keller do when she fell down the well?screamed her hands off@

my depressing life

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 21:18:44 MST

drinking on wednseday nothign beats it brother!you know i sometimes wonder why i have email, i lok at it everyday and all i see is 0 messages, so it's like why boher, maybe the vain hope of seing somethign cool, but i suppose thats just liek when i answer the phone, it's the same deal, no one good ever calls and i meen ever. i dont even bother to pull out the ole futon anymore, i jst sleep on the sofa like thing, i think i'm losing all fuction or somethign , nothign matters, i took down all my posters and shit form the wall, blank walls suit me wellk i think. the creaping thoughts that nothign is ever going to change are becoming stonger, the failures of my life are becoming more promiate in my minsd, the spelling misstakes in my sentances are becimng more frequent, and i'm losing my diction, oh yeah and y drinking has bcome a nightly thing. why is this i wonder?i once went to school, like college school, i kindda wonder what i was thinking when i embarcked on that lilttle endevor for lack of a better word. i belive i took prehaps the stupidest most worthless najor one could possibly take, liek animation or some shit like that, only later after i graduated did i find out that all the jobs that might pertain to such a major exsit only in states many many miles away from where i am, and not only that but you actully have to be a pro anopmunst pros to even be considered for a job, yeha fucking great, i dont even have a computer powerful enough to even practice on let along the 1000s of dollers it would take to buy the fucking programs ro practice them on, wonderful, yeah, great, shit i cant even send a demo or anythighn to california cuz this school didnt have the tech to take shit from the computer and put it on a video tape, great X like 50. fuck if i had taking some trad school like auto tech or something i could at least fix a car or somethign, and be useful to sociaty but no i pick the worthless little item of animation and i'm tottaly skrewed, hell even the so called placement deparment cant even place me with one fucking interview, not ONE!!!!! so yeah, fuck them, i shoulda become a welder or somethign, heh, not that i coulda gotten a welding job either, no one will ever give me a job and no one ever will, darnit.if you ever have the option in like a hospital or somethign, and the doctor sez we can save your life but we'll have to amputate your leg, choose death, it's a fuck of alot easier. i did a little investigating and found that whille the unemployment rate is liek 6% or something, the unemployment for cripples of all kinds tops out at over 80% 80 fucking percent, can you belive that, damn, i guess i shoulda thought twqice back in heven when god said i'll let you be born but you have to be born without a leg, knowing what i know now i woulda said, fuck that or somethign like that, i'd rather be nothing, hmm which i guess is what pretty much happend in the end, nothing. no w i relize that blaming your problmes on shit is pretty fucking weak, but fuck man, i'm telling you it's so hard being all crippled and shit, i dont care what peopel may say but in matters of love and jobs and general lifestyle it makes a fucking differnce wheteher you have all your natural parts and shit, trust me, oh yeah did i ever tell you i only have one leg, mahahaahaha, i can say that thats probaly at least 60 odd percent whu i'm so miserable, living just isn't fun when you cant do anything, heh, which brings me to the funnest shit i've seen in awhille, on Smackdown, thursday nights at 8 on UPN :D they got this guy with one leg right, and it was his dream to always be in the WWE and shit, well they got him doing some pretty cool shit, but liek the funniest stuff is when vince mcman get out and starts talking abotu this guy and all the stuff about how hes gunna destroy him and shit, liek "i'm gunna do what mother nature shoulda done along time ago, and kill him hahaahaha" i always laugh at that, hell last week one guy named john cena was out there saying "whats better then being a one legged WWE super star? being able to walk!" that fucking cracked me up. so yeah, if you ever get the chance chose death over a life without a limb, it fuckign sucks, girls dont like you, you'll never get a job and kids laugh at you when you walk in the streets, it's enough to drive a man to drink, which i guess it has in this mna, EG me!! yehaam i rambleing? well bite me i'm drinking and when i drink i talk, which is odd cuz when i'm normal i dont talk at all, so i guess i become more of a regualt human being when i' drinking, sept i cant spell anymore or somethign, i wish some cool songs whould come on right now, i've heard a bunch today but not my favs yet, damit, well maybe Hero by Soul Embraced, i heard that, i really liek that one, yeah, it's cool, download it if you can, it's like progressive metal or something, liek its all heavy then it becomes mellodic at the center, i liek that shit its cool like Opeth they rule,.yo uknow whats funny? lookng back at what i've writen and not being able t understanfd it cuz you're drunk and shit, amn thats odd, bot i hope this gets read, or i might feel sad or somethign, but fear not i maybe wrting lots of shit tonight but i bet i'll be dogn the same shit on friday or something when i start hitting the hard stuff, brandy, soco, or anything with a proff of more the 40 anyway, i'll be feeling good then, alrigfht!i wonder what will come first, death by nature or death by my own hand, my family has a history of dying quite early so it's pretty dead even i guess, either way if i live past 40 it'll be like a mirical or somethign, i'm4 months from 28 now so i guess i onloy have 10 years left give or take a few, i'm actually really intersted to find out what it'll be, somehow i'm guessing a bullet to the head but you never know i guess, it could be slashed wrists, hahhahaaha.hmm, am i done yet, yeah i guess so, i need another swig of 2$ booze, tune in next time for another exciting episode of life styles of the poor, lonely, crippled, losers!

POP QUIZ HOTSHOT

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 01:44:20 MST

IF JOHNNY COMES OVER TO OYUUR HOUSE ANNS BRINGS A 6 PACK OF BEERS, WHAT DO YOU DOZ? A. TELL HIM "NO WAY!" B. SAY "DRINKIGN IS FOR LOSERS C. "WHAT THE FUCK YOU ONLY GOT A 6 PACK?!" i think we all knw the correc tanswer. it's B. SYKE!

typing is for hard

Tue, 29 Jul 2003 20:58:31 MST

do you relize how fucking hard it is to spell journal when you're drunk? huh??i wish i hasd a web cam, then you'd see me for the ugly ass dude i am, yeah! you ever be like almost 28 years old and not have ever had a girlfriend, it kindda sucks trust me, you ever noticve how when ever i pst on here it's just about how much i suck and that girls dont liek me and such, heh, whata loser, no wonder i dont have a girl, hell i dont have friends either, go fig.if you happen to go to the movies, go see terminatior 3, it;s liek the best fucking thing ever, every time arnold opens his mouth it;s funny, yeah! aslo see 28 days later it's fucking cool too!!and if your into downloading stuff try to find the bacd Katatonia and look up the song Ghost of the Sun, thats my hit of the month, it reminds me of girls and how much i hate them, yeha, listen and you'll understand, also find the song Vison by Scarculture just cuz it's the most ass kicking song ever, but but dont listen if you're a pussy cuz it metal, cool

all i have to say

Sun, 27 Jul 2003 17:33:01 MST

all i have to say is drarth maul woudl so give jesus a better hand job than jesus could ever imagien

BISHOP POSTS FISH CHAMPOIN RESULTS

Sun, 27 Jul 2003 03:10:50 MST

ANSA Records - Sport Fishing ALBACORE 2 10.40 PETER TALBOT NAROOMA NSW 04-May-94 ALBACORE 3 15.80 N SCHUMESKO BERMAGUI NSW 19-Mar-83 ALBACORE 4 17.00 Raymond Williams MONTAGU ISLAND WIDE NSW 11-May-95 ALBACORE 6 15.00 PETER HANCOCK MONTAGU ISLAND WIDE NSW 11-May-95 ALBACORE 8 14.40 KEVIN WORLEY NAROOMA WIDE NSW 22-May-94 ALBACORE 10 18.00 Victor Cini Bermagui NSW 21-Jun-01 ALBACORE 15 19.60 LUCY JONES NAROOMA NSW 02-May-94 AMBERJACK 1 1.10 Wayne Jeffers Cape Moreton QLD 10-Aug-96 AMBERJACK 2 4.20 A CLARKSON COFFS HARBOUR NSW 31-Aug-85 AMBERJACK 3 4.30 A CLARKSON COFFS HARBOUR NSW 31-Mar-88 AMBERJACK 6 10.50 MARK BEIGHTON MORETON ISLAND QLD 15-May-94 AMBERJACK 8 12.48 Geoffrey Dickman 36 Fathoms E. Tweed Hds NSW 19-Jun-96 AMBERJACK 10 11.80 T NELSON ABROLHOS ISLANDS WA 18-Sep-82 AMBERJACK 15 27.60 R DURANT GOLD COAST QLS 15-Jun-83 BARRACOUTA 1 3.16 S WERNER TORQUAY VIC 27-Jun-88 BARRACOUTA 2 4.33 S WARNER BARWON HEADS NSW 30-Dec-87 BARRACOUTA 3 3.62 ROBERT DUNN PRETTY BEACH NSW 06-Apr-75 BARRACUDA GREAT 1 3.75 S HART CAIRNS INLET QLD 03-Mar-87 BARRACUDA GREAT 2 11.61 M MANKOWSKI ARLINGTON REEF QLD 11-Feb-90 BARRACUDA GREAT 3 20.00 M O'SHEA CAPE WILBERFORCE NT 25-Nov-89 BARRACUDA GREAT 4 18.00 Peter John Griffiths Weipa QLD 27-Apr-98 BARRACUDA GREAT 6 31.25 M PEARCE PIXIE REEF QLD 26-Sep-82 BARRACUDA GREAT 8 20.60 Brian Anderson 1nm East Mackay Hbr QLD 08-Nov-96 BARRACUDA GREAT 10 22.00 K KRAUT EVANS ROCK QLD 29-Jan-91 BARRACUDA GREAT 15 24.20 NEIL HEINEMANN ARLINGTON REEF QLD 07-Nov-81 BARRACUDA PICKHANDLE 1 5.95 STEVE HART CAIRNS INLET QLD 07-Feb-93 BARRACUDA PICKHANDLE 2 6.32 D FRAZER SLADE ISLAND QLD 06-Oct-90 BARRACUDA PICKHANDLE 3 8.63 D GRIEVE HINCHINBROOK IS QLD 08-Dec-92 BARRACUDA PICKHANDLE 4 6.00 JAN LOMMAN 3 5.27 I BRYANT LAKE PURRUMBETE VIC 09-Nov-76 TRUMPETER striped(tasmanian) 8 9.68 Paul Di Denato Merimbula NSW 15-Feb-98 TRUMPETER striped(tasmanian) 10 11.09 Paul Di Denato Merimbula NSW 31-May-98 TUNA DOGTOOTH 6 9.40 N CLAYTON BURNETT HEADS QLD 05-May-79 TUNA DOGTOOTH 15 46.70 Marie Macfarlane Christmas Island WA 10-Oct-96 TUNA FRIGATE MACKEREL 1 1.70 T DEVEIGNE BIG BEECROFT NSW 26-Mar-81 TUNA FRIGATE MACKEREL 2 1.98 D NICHOLSON TOMAREE HEAD NSW 28-Feb-84 TUNA FRIGATE MACKEREL 3 2.18 G CHAPMAN KURNELL NSW 18-Aug-69 TUNA MACKEREL 1 3.85 Steve Salmond Kent Island QLD 08-Nov-97 TUNA MACKEREL 2 7.65 R JOHNSON STH SOLITARY ISLD NSW 05-Mar-82 TUNA MACKEREL 3 9.90 W FROST REDHEAD NSW 03-Sep-80 TUNA MACKEREL 4 9.50 Nick Dziemidowicz Wathumba Creek QLD 09-Dec-99 TUNA MACKEREL 6 9.40 K BOBBIN HAT HEAD NSW 22-Mar-87 TUNA MACKEREL 8 8.20 BARRY PRESTON GOVERNORS HEAD NSW 23-Apr-94 TUNA MACKEREL 10 9.41 D BELBIN THE PEAK NSW 20-Apr-75 TUNA MACKEREL 15 11.00 W LEARY LORD HOWE ISLD NSW 25-Feb-83 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 1 4.60 B MOSES BOWEN ISLAND QLD 01-Feb-82 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 2 8.66 K COEY SLADE ROCK QLD 18-Jan-87 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 3 18.30 W SAWYNOK BURNETT HEADS QLD 17-Oct-82 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 4 22.30 Wes Tolhurst Port Stephens NSW 01-May-02 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 6 29.60 Stephen Davey Scarborough WA 04-Jul-01 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 8 22.20 K MAGUIRE MORETON ISLAND QLD 27-Jul-91 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 10 24.80 G COSTELLO PORT STEPHENS NSW 08-Mar-81 TUNA NORTHERN BLUEFIN 15 28.50 H HARRIS PORT STEPHENS NSW 07-Jun-78 TUNA SOUTHERN BLUEFIN 2 7.00 Ted Dixon Crookhaven Bight NSW 27-Sep-96 TUNA SOUTHERN BLUEFIN 3 16.00 E HUDSON EDEN NSW 04-Jan-80 TUNA SOUTHERN BLUEFIN 4 19.00 TOM TIERNEY FAR WEST COAST SA 30-Jan-93 TUNA SOUTHERN BLUEFIN 6 20.60 Marcel Vandergoot Port Lincoln SA 14-Apr-98 TUNA SOUTHERN BLUEFIN 8 24.50 David Marsh Port Lincoln SA 23-Apr-00 TUNA SOUTHERN BLUEFIN 10 30.00 I HILL PORT FAIRY VIC 10-Apr-82 TUNA SOUTHERN BLUEFIN 15 34.00 RON GRESSWELL HIPPOLYTE ROCK TAS 02-Apr-95 TUNA STRIPED 1 3.71 T BATE TOMAREE HEAD NSW 20-Oct-84 TUNA STRIPED 2 7.50 B ROLT SWANSEA NSW 02-Sep-86 TUNA STRIPED 3 8.21 R BASILE NORTH HEAD NSW 27-Dec-69 TUNA STRIPED 4 6.36 G LACE NORAH HEAD WIDE NSW 01-Nov-92 TUNA STRIPED 6 12.25 R YOUNG OFF LAURIETON NSW 11-Jun-88 TUNA STRIPED 15 11.51 CRAIG PHILLIPS PORT MACQUARIE WIDE NSW 20-Aug-95 TUNA YELLOWFIN 1 3.10 R MCCUBBIN GOLD COAST 14-Jan-82 TUNA YELLOWFIN 2 9.70 J DA SILVA OFF WOOLLONGONG NSW 21-Nov-89 TUNA YELLOWFIN 3 13.33 G WRIGHT SWANSEA NSW 10-Mar-87 TUNA YELLOWFIN 4 17.50 Theresa Schembri Botany Bay Wide NSW 10-Nov-96 TUNA YELLOWFIN 6 40.50 D BROWN WOOLLONGONG NSW 18-Mar-77 TUNA YELLOWFIN 8 35.20 Barry Preston Bermagui Wide NSW 18-May-96 TUNA YELLOWFIN 10 74.34 P STEEN MONTAGU NSW 05-May-77 TUNA YELLOWFIN 15 95.00 R DUTHIE MONTAGU ISLAND NSW 12-Apr-88 TUSK FISH BLACK SPOT 1 2.19 ROD SOUTTER BOWEN BOAT HARBOUR QLD 03-Aug-94 TUSK FISH BLACK SPOT 2 4.50 Mark Cottrell Dampier WA 04-Jan-99 TUSK FISH BLACK SPOT 3 3.00 Anthony Latosa Dampier WA 16-Dec-00 TUSK FISH BLACK SPOT 4 4.60 Robert Simpson Bluff Rock Yeppoon QLD 10-Jan-99 TUSK FISH BLACK SPOT 6 11.44 Stephen Abbs Bulwer QLD 17-Oct-99 TUSK FISH BLUE 1 1.20 C KLASSEN NOOSA HEADS QLD 11-Oct-87 TUSK FISH BLUE 3 4.50 C Gonzalez Shark Bay WA 11-Oct-81 TUSK FISH BLUE 6 6.20 J Grist Shark Bay WA 31-Dec-79 TUSK FISH VENUS 1 1.20 C Klassen Noosa Heads QLD 11-Oct-87 TUSK FISH VENUS 3 4.20 L Murray Shark Bay WA 30-Jun-80 W.A. JEWFISH 6 13.80 Graeme Kruger Jurien Bay WA 02-Mar-96 W.A. JEWFISH 8 8.90 George Popa West Garden Island WA 23-Apr-00 W.A. JEWFISH 10 19.10 BILL SULLIVAN JURIEN BAY WA 01-Mar-93 W.A. JEWFISH 15 19.20 IVAN ANDERTON GARDEN ISLAND WA 08-Jan-93 WAHOO 3 13.15 D WOODFORD SOUTHPORT QLD 19-Apr-77 WAHOO 6 25.40 B FERGUSON WANDA WIDE NSW 12-Apr-81 WAHOO 8 24.20 Steve Watson Flat Rock QLD 19-Apr-97 WAHOO 10 35.00 J KING NAROOMA NSW 07-Mar-81 WAHOO 15 30.20 G JOHNSON SHELLHARBOUR NSW 29-Mar-80 WAREHOU 1 2.61 A PATTERSON APOLLO BAY VIC 03-Jun-90 WAREHOU 2 2.63 H CORP APOLLO BAY VIC 18-Jul-91 WAREHOU 3 2.22 S HUNTER APOLLO BAY VIC 09-Jul-91 WHITING KING GEORGE 1 1.32 R ST CLAIR RAPID BAY SA 16-Nov-80 WHITING SAND 1 0.77 Shane Mayberry Merimbula Lake NSW 01-Feb-98 WRASSE BLUE THROATED 1 2.25 R ST CLAIR WARDANG ISLAND SA 08-Nov-80 WRASSE BLUE THROATED 2 2.34 Terri Addison Portland VIC 02-Jun-96 WRASSE GOLD SPOTTED 2 2.55 RUSSELL JONES CAPE MORETON QLD 15-May-94 WRASSE MAORI 10 21.76 H LEE OSPREY REEF QLD 03-Dec-74 WRASSE SOUTHERN MAORI 1 1.10 CAMERON JONES PORT HACKING NSW 17-Apr-94

red wings

Sun, 27 Jul 2003 01:13:33 MST

damn - i'm about to rape tommie ;) it'm too bad... guess what --- its too bad ya'll let me get to this fucking situation... i'm just too horney... red wings!!!!

Damn

Sun, 27 Jul 2003 00:51:15 MST

Joey if i muthoer fjuckin see you in another junking fucking puckin shirt i swear :) dam - i'm trunkced

don't drink and drive

Sun, 27 Jul 2003 00:46:43 MST

every time i successfully drive home drunk i consider it a victory for all humanity. ps: don't drive drunk fuckers

40 Hands, a drinking game where you have 40s for hands

Sat, 26 Jul 2003 18:47:38 MST

1. Choose 80 ounces of your favorite malt liqor.2. Have a friend tape a 40 to each of your hands.3. Have said friend open the bottles for the competitiors.4. Drink your face off as fast as possible and rip the tape off of your hands with your teeth.Complications begin to arise around the ass end of your second 40. this is due to the fact that you have to pee like a motherfucker, your cell phone is ringing in your pocket, your balls itch and your friends are taping signs to your back.Winner takes all.

GGAGAAAAAHHHHHHH DRRUUNNKK

Sat, 26 Jul 2003 02:52:02 MST

LOOK YOU NUJUST TNEEED DTO SOTOP TALKKING TO ME LIEK THAT AJDRUNK JOURANLS YOU FUCKSERS.!!! HAHAHA, DRUNK I AM YOUADA!!OKAY, WAIT,,,, SO, LING LING IDD YOU YHEAR ME YOU DRUNK FUCORETOWN.. I MEAN, FO REAL.. LIKE, LING LINGDID YOU GET THAT, LING LING, IT'S FUNNY, I AS TYPE IT I THINK , "OH MY GOD I'M ONE FUCNNY FUCK"???? HAHAHHA LING LGINLING LINGDID YOU GET THAT YOU B TICHS'S???? LING LING FUCK MEALSOM, MOST RESPECT TO TAIT AND THE VODKA STEAK HE MADE TONIGHT, IT'S HELLA GOOD, GONNA GO SEEE A FRENCH MOVIE TOMORROW CALLED WIMSWIIMMING PPOOL WIHT MARKUS AND STEPHEN ABOUT AN NAKED GFRENCH HOT LADY I WANNA FUCK UP THE ASS HARD SO IT BREAKS HER INT WO AND I FUCK BOTH OF THEM AGAIN AND KEEP SPLITTING HTEM IN TOW ONUTIL THEY BREAK UP SO MANY TIMES A I AM HAPPY MAN FUCKING!

VIBE SALFELY

Sat, 26 Jul 2003 01:05:50 MST

i'm sitll fuckibng funkl you fagds. but thois p[ost goes oit wo allie who is awesome and hot and doo me. she gave me adfice abo what to dow tihe me awful drinks athat stucked, and make them less udk. she's p;rety aweosme. she douhl;d totlaly suck my wanneralso: vi be sa fe ly: write another one about what an awesome drinking advice giver i am!vi be sa fe ly: and how much you wanna fuck me!MIKE: )OKL!its rtre, i wanna fucka liie alots. and it would ttoally be hot and DO IT HARD ALL INGHT TOUYNFUCKS1

something that uisb't ttasy

Sat, 26 Jul 2003 00:21:31 MST

yeah so its my sfirst stime ebvery posting on this big stupidndruink thing. I dunno how i feel about ti eyt. so today i started em new job. hoyl shit it sucks. They're all whiny bitches that aomcp[laun about god knows what. SND THEY MADE ME WASH TDISHWES. IAM A SITLVER WARE SPEOCLAITS FOR CHIRST SAKES DAMNITS. they dont'reevr n ahev that positon there. these rigrtlfs had tight pants on though. i looked atoitetr butts. I alsowman smacked one. it was nice. BUTTS!!!!@QW@ SO then ig got esodeme and i went tot he amrtekt to buy me a can of soup and i ate the suop, and then i drank, and ehre i am. I am great. BEAST POST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

g'fdya mates, charlie jesu here.

Thu, 24 Jul 2003 22:31:05 MST

I am teh aweomesit. remmemver that. so how s ti going? oh yeah thats wicked awsome. Ok, what is the deal with GFODs dong? wurely it is well massive, like biggrr than elephatns. ERm I\'d like to thank my lord jesus, lucifer my mum and of yes k-doggy dogg for this grat awarred. Thank you all, and oh yes, TURLTEL POWER!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Wed, 23 Jul 2003 02:32:48 MST

vi am way fucked up. went tot weasiee tonight and got lifted. my friend mike went hoime and fell out the car ass-first. ahahaah, oh my...guvkingh wasted. haha, i look back ofn the speeling changes that i dtried to make but backspaace is n\'t helpint much how. haha, drunk typing RTOOLSZ MOTUYEHTER\\FUCKXTH-0RS.

hi i ahve been drinking all night

Wed, 23 Jul 2003 01:39:54 MST

hii'ts be n long no waitit has't been a long nightbut i'oh no wait, it's liek 12:30never mindit's been a long nighti had dreams abeout german guys trying to make out with me sor something last nightkaty is not a german guy so i was like WTF dudey eyes aren't realy openi't snot undual but i't still kind o f wirds. i can't really see... drinkingoh wait i was waiting for this song.i'ts laoir myeyres by NOFX. i wanted to listen to it, that' hwy i pu ton this CD. it's about a porno chick.she is glad to be a prono shick and fuck all you guys., it's a good song.I AIN'T NO CINDERELLAI AINT WAITING FOR NO PRNCEHOW DID THE CAT GET SO FAT

i plqay vidoeo VLIGN!

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 03:20:46 MST

I AM LYINGi dontg paly civeod ames anymroe on purpose. they sap my strentghg and YOU KNOW YO CHICKENoh fuck denis rodamn back inteh NBA that about as pleassnt as a strring of barb wire up iun my dork.so what i am talking about here is some fucikghinsa catgion.SHITaction. im talkign abotu actoi nI REALLY LIEOk this movie true rmance. its pretty good, mainly becausee of patty arqys titteis.YOM.cibo matto is god.lets play acontest:!CONGRATULATIONS< HOW IS THER BIG FAG>!ANSWER: LATKEY!FUCKkaty!that tosk like 10 seconds.SDLAP MY WILLY AND EAT STREWABERRISE.thats my veriosn of "something thsotne FCUC~K!sut ujp.

shorn

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 03:16:51 MST

easy allie with your blatabnt fight club reference actually, aweomse. thats rad i want you to have joes abortion too or i want you ro fuck il;ie grade school hahahha, theat shit is shorn!

hello kikes you cant hold your liquor

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 03:14:14 MST

what is the story with 40 on mah wang ?the thing is i might have one women with a 40 for a mouth.or it m,ight be that a 40 is myu women.or it might be that i spilled a 40 no me cokc?it might be all of thieseor it might be that no one can match myu cockfuyce you chrisa, i cut yo face

i am drinking pee

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 02:52:41 MST

holy shits theres altotta drunk people tonigth! oh yeah is /RIFDAY! not thattit matters to meeeee SUMMOR VACTION LIKE WHAT! you fuckers aer jealous hahahah i gloat.im goana goo ravange ditas sleepign pasedout body right NOWno wait......NO@W!!!!!oh fucak that was smoe good ravagong! GONG@ drunkrjounal cha tneeds to be workign NOW wtf hcirs et gon the fuckifn BALL mAN no get off THE BALLS and get on THE BALL. ehy i type good slow. sllllooooooooooowwwwwwpeckpeckpeckeya mate , its' allay!im austrlian allay i talk like im australian! billabong! EY CRIKEY!!!I think frunkjournal is poetnetially a site for intellectaul and einigmatic ponderng and debate. its just in tis prototypic stages fo being utterly fucking retarded.> you cant be stimulated int the mind whend you cant een be stuimulaed in the PEN)R!! i will totally stimulate tehat shitt. READ A BOOK INGRATES,i am bilingual AND BY SEXUAL - gusess which one gets me laid more!?to exlicate:Pourquoi bonjour joseph de monsieur vous �tes sexy laisse les b�b�s de marque. Je veux avoir votre avortement. je suis si horny pour vous. i totally did not translte taht onlne! it mean i wantna have joeys abotrtion!!and in a sexy fench acent! HOW TRUNED ON ARE YOU OMGOMGOM*cream*

gaaaaaaahr

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 02:37:53 MST

fck et!

OMG SO MANY FUCKED UP THIOHGSN AHE!

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 02:12:14 MST

duede, so liek, last ngiht wAs pretty fucked up, and SURPSIIE! tongith is fucked up. not in the thehnigns are bad sense, but int hteh im drunk snesne.,so. letssr stjnhave a littel contest.its a gaymo conteszt CHRSIS WINS!that shti was classicv.robv cauisght my vobmti inm hsi hadns l;ast ngight and rass fdsnruning ro the totilet eo thtror wit away.DRUNKJOSURNAL IS A REALM IF DEMONS AND CLITFUCKGIN@so! hrees the real story!FUCKYOU.

joe is future rape

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 02:12:01 MST

joelroel is fuyced with drink and got orange juyce and the hate like fear.you KNOW TGHIS!fuck.also: fuck.katy, break a piece of that clit off for me.mail it break me off a piece of that klit kat bar bitch! (joels cocnk is rank; bong!).also, katy, get you ass to my face!shiat.i am drink two spaks and two forties. the thing is, the rbain forgets ant this potin.i dont know qwhat to reply to the stupid you bring.chris, i cut yo face.wi;;, i cut you face too.katy,n it EAT yo face.

i am not wearing any pants

Fri, 18 Jul 2003 03:46:05 MST

do you realize that i mayt or may not be weaing pants sat thesi time of night . i am thypiong sthis with my eyes closed because im healla tired.i drunkl. i want some pussy.TH FUCKAN MAN IS KEEPIN ME DOWNL. HE HAS ALL OF MY MONEY CAUSE HE STOLE IT OR SOMETHING. THE MAN GOT GAME LIKE A MUYTHAFUCKA!!! FUCKDA MAN!!all of my thoughts are ramdom. i haveto work tomorrow.peace!!

WhAt what kind of booze goes with burritos

Fri, 18 Jul 2003 02:16:29 MST

go robot: HOW BIG WERE THEM BOWS AT WALMART, LOWAroxcix2: they we3re HUGE!!!!go robot: MOgo robot: NOgo robot: THEY WERE HUUUUUUUUGEroxcix2: no they were HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE!!! GWAAAA!!!go robot: YESroxcix2: i almost fell owa eating myh burrito!go robot: hahaWORD OF ADVICE!WATCH OUT FOR THOSE GOD DAMN BARRICADES!! THEY LIKE TO JUPM OUT IN FRONT OF DURNKING HOT CHICS GOING TO TACO BELL!FUCK YOU TAMPA, FUCK YOU!

Hi. I saw Blur tonight.

Fri, 18 Jul 2003 01:16:25 MST

Hi. I saw Blur tonight. I\'m not that drunk. Then I went to two frat bars. I don\'t like frat bars. I spent $20 to get home. That\'s lame. Bye.

can't drunk chat!!?

Fri, 18 Jul 2003 00:54:36 MST

rum rum rumi am the most entertaining drunk evereven if i don't remember itjust ask katyhey guess whatAIM crashers my computer and lall these people are having a big chat ut i can't chat wthth ehem because AIM keeps crashingwell fuck that shitand fuck JOHNNY SIZZLE oh my god that guy is such a fagi wish he didn't leave robotskull because i would have lovd to fight with him and tell hm how muych he sucks because it's a LOT.HE FUCKING SUCKS A LOT YOhaha yoshut it

me an my mom

Mon, 14 Jul 2003 01:55:54 MST

holy crao am I drunk.My mom and I hung out and talked about my future plans while we got blitzed.It 3was sweetg with ca\\\\pitakl S. AKA AWESOME!I woud think that having wiorse wtypling would be baetter...I dfunne

hangovers feel like shit

Sun, 13 Jul 2003 12:56:01 MST

fuck you, that's what i haves to say. no not really, i don't mean that, but i fetl it,hey, you ever feel like your leg or arm is pulsating likecrazy when you are drunken? yea, my right leg felt likeit was going to grow it's own heart and walk away fromthis body and live on its own, i had to put a stop to them plans,we got drunken and watched ricahrd pryor live, he's funnier that the word clitorisalso,obviously i'm waking up from this and writing a post not drunk, but hungover, FUCK YOU FOR JUDGING ME, i will retrun ewhen drunk and i'll post the righ t way,psyche

lakeland guys left busch light in our fridge.

Wed, 09 Jul 2003 00:52:00 MST

go robot: you you used to recite this while taking shots!Pavlov: hehhehehePavlov: yeah soPavlov: 8..Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.Pavlov: i need to apologize to my old fishgo robot: yeah you were an asshsole to that fishPavlov: i didn't mean to blow up the fish tank go robot: yes you did.go robot: fucking liar.Pavlov: different fishgo robot: ohPavlov: jarrod had this 30 galllon tank...he graduated andmoved to atlanta and lefyt me and layton alone..i was drunk and had explosivesPavlov: i was simply studying the effects of underwater explosions and the psychological effects on marine life. go robot: i seePavlov: did mean to blow up the whole tankPavlov: didn'tand with that i leave you with daubar's 12 steps to revovery:The Twelve Steps to Recovery 1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.2.Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.3.Made a decision to turn our will, and our lives, over to the care of God as we understood Him.4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.8..Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.everyone starrt studyign.

Morning After Wrap-Up

Tue, 08 Jul 2003 02:42:28 MST

I don't know if this counts, as I am no longer drunk, but the highlights are too good not to share. This week, we decided to have a little party. Thursday to Monday, no problem. Not weekend, fucker. Week. Plus. 11 days. The epicenter of this train wreck was this Saturday night. Basically all the party goers ended up completely naked, and remained so until monday. No I am not kidding. During the course of this I ended up in a bathtub with another guy who ended up shaving my chest. Yes, we are both straight, really, it just seemed reasonable at the time. the stats for this occasion follow:11 days drinking.average of $100 a night in cheap beerestimated $1300 in boozeestimated 80 games of Mario Tennis 6423 naked people (total, only 5 of us remained naked for the weekend)13 destroyed tiki torches2 three-ways (known)1 public three-way1 ruined Amish dining table1 ninja1 bath-tub drain perma-clogged with hair1 big fucking hangoverthis was the party to kick the summer off. Also, if this is out of line due to sobriety, suck my balls, then delete it. But it had to be recorded in the annals of the interweb.

OMG!!OMG!!WE ARE DRINKING

Sat, 05 Jul 2003 03:14:45 MST

OMG!! MELIISSA AND I ARE DRUNKLN! AND I'M ON katyS' COMPUTER CUZ melissa IS DOING SOM GUY! HOMPFULLY ON MY FLOOR, I JUST WOKE UP LIKE AN HOUR AGO AND I'M SUPPOST TO CLAL MY BABY, CUBUT I DON'T WANT TO AND SHOUND LIKE AND IDOIT WHEN I CALL HIM... FICK IT.. I'M DPOIG IT NOW! I LOVE SHELDON SO MUCH AND + + + I JUST CALLED HIM AND HE IS ASSED OUT CUZ HE HAS TO WOKR ERLY IN THE MO-NIN! i love RITING in capites! KRIST WHY!! I NEED TO STOP DRINKING BUT IT WAS OKAY CUZ I MJUST MADE THIS FUCKING AMAZING BROCCLIE CASSAROLE AND IT WAS ORGASMIC SO IN RETUN FROM MY GAY FRIENDS THEY GOT MYE DRUNKEN! AHH THE GAYS!katy! COME OWA BAKC HOMA!I LOVE SHELDON LIKE SO MUJCH!HE IS MY BAAAAABBBBBYYYYY!!I LOVE YOU, SHELDON!ME, LOWA!

I AM RICK. NOT LEXI/

Fri, 04 Jul 2003 04:27:21 MST

pant up! I am so fucking drunk that this is so hard. The booze is my friend and It is doing its job the hooch is messing with my mind and I am writing some jibba jabba; which constitutes the worst joke of the day: What has eight eyes and eight legs?Eight Pirates

numb hands, no dicks

Fri, 04 Jul 2003 01:49:31 MST

hi. i can't feel my fingers.but somehow i'm typing.and well! but i'm pretyt drunk. i can see myself in teh window and i look like a slut. so come FUCK ME, Ckaty.! that will be fun. because sam told me would do it and i thin kyou will. so we will have a gotod time.so. perople are playin video games and i am almost spinning. so this is a good time. i've been loud all evening. i wish i could be loud wiht a digck in me. A DICK! IN ME! so whoever htinks i shoudl be getting laid soon... say "oi~!"

Hi everyone.

Thu, 03 Jul 2003 22:45:18 MST

My name is chris and i'm katy's friend.i'm an alcoholic. i'm not too drunk but katy told me to post anyway. i'm gonna go lay on the floor. Go Robot: well wtf Go Robot: POST!!!

so long stinktown, again

Wed, 02 Jul 2003 21:52:01 MST

i've never had this jack daniels hard cola before... i thought i'd give it a try. someone once told me it tasted like a jack and coke that had gone flat... i think that's about right. it's tolerable anyway so i'm moving soon. going to tampa. before i get there i've already started the process of trying to line up job prospects. i've been sending out reasumes and shit to every web-oriented place i can find in the area (which is a fuck of a lot mroe than there are in new orleans, let me tell you! god damn this city sucks) and i tell them "I AM A GOOD WORK GUY" and hopefully they'll say "can't wait til you get here and work for us and we'll play you mad cash" my current job has barely existed for 6 months now... since my boss quit, we've been lost and directionless and the company has done nothing to fix that. apparently they're sending some HR goons over next week to straighten some shit out, which may mean everyone will lose their jobs but since i plan on leaveing anywya WHATEVER. in sending resumes to places in tampa, i've noticed it's kind of funny that my most prized technological achievement is this here drunkjournal. although i think it shows i have at least passable PHP skills it's really not the kind of thing you rush to show a prospective employer. HEY LOOK I CAN MAKE WEB PAGES OH AND ALSO I DRINK A REAL FUCKING LOT awesome. regardless, wish me luck you punks

poke it drinking game

Tue, 01 Jul 2003 18:51:54 MST

get a deck of cards, and place them in piles of black and red. then take it in turns to pick a card.if its a:2 - spin around whilst drinking3 - tell a truth + take a drink4 - do a dare + take a drink5 - say an 'i have never...'6 - go round the circle until u reach 10 (eg person who picked card would be 1, then the next would be 2) and whoever turns out to be 10 DRINKS!7 - pass it on to someone else8 - sing a nursery rhyme, drinking after every sentence9 - answer a question made by the person to your left. if right, the questioner drinks, if wrong, you drink10 - everyone drinksJACK - drink some of the person next to you's drink (the right)QUEEN - drink 1/2 your drinkKING - try and hop in straight line whilst on one leg - if you wobble or fall over, you drink all your drinkACE - choose the name of a person in the circle, then take guesses on who you chose. the person who's right drinks.

mah teef

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 03:39:06 MST

<333333333333333333333333333sodrunk3333333333333333333333333333333333333alliee: "do i have gold in mah teef??"everynoe laughed. i guess you ghad to be there. i am gangtsa not-white like wha wt whate33w ahah my kitty just typed thta=7and thatfor real she needs to get hte fuck ofm yu keyboard nad trying to lay down suto[[d kitter hat!!!!!!!11111this black dude at dennsy asked me to gvi him a blow jo for 10 bcuks. i siad no utb you can have tshi for free and flickeh him the FUCK OFF. nrrrrrrrrrr fcuking denny perverts parking lot lixards!!!!!joery make me some TUNAR SLAAD!

WWHEEEEE, DRUNNKS

Sat, 28 Jun 2003 02:07:42 MST

My best friend just broke up with this senstive faggot who ahd a girlfriend and we're drinking and I have no idea what's going on. I just went to the bathroomb ut I don't remember it but I do know that i love you all so much but it is a lie, maybe only half of you. WHEE

RUSIOIAN BITSHES ARE HOT

Fri, 27 Jun 2003 04:07:31 MST

SOS ME# SDNADN MIKEYKIE ARE FUCIOBGN EASTYED!@so i aws late to durnkgint oginght, due to kunfufu, and domse band practice, so i didnt get to start until like 903 btui then i got so fadexc ZAthat i was liek abma, and i had 23 gheerbs at home withina bout 20 mintues and i had one of those in the shower and tyhat sht was toally like BAM wonk and iamn fuck you.you fguck fucking suck!okay so im trying to figure out why shcrosui is such a fuckiong sfaggot .i should kill hiom.what do yu think?i have a feeling the response will overwhelmingly be YSE\\\\i am ocroejct!p is not the non-ho you think she is,.s she is my fufter wife.allie is my futuire awesome awesome. zoxoxoxoxo girl.OKAY FUCK YOUZE!

the bible recovery

Thu, 26 Jun 2003 06:13:16 MST

so i live with this christian right? i work with him. hes my boss. yeah. so, after work hes goin to this biblestudy thinghe does every wednesday. its this group of tattooed freks and ex-junkies. its actualy kinda beautiful seeing all these wrethcehed lives turned around. whatever the means. so anyway, were on our way there and hedrops off me and his brother at taco del mar(thias awesome mexi joint) i order my shit an the guy ringsme up for 6 dollars and 66 cents. yesa. on theway to bible study. then i went bowling and got drunkless.

Evil Death Drink

Sun, 22 Jun 2003 22:53:49 MST

1 - a punch of some sort. the best seems to be HI-C fruit punch, since the shit covers all taste of vodkar, and most other liquors as well.2- vodka. or gin, if need be. rum in a pinch.use a large container, add some ice, and fill it 1/3 - 1/2 vodka. depending on how evil you want it.fill with punch.ideally, the punch should be such that you only have a large good drink, and it fucks you the fuck up.evil death applies to high quality hangover.peace im out nuh what

ITS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

Sun, 22 Jun 2003 00:55:36 MST

christ on cruthces! GAHH!! I'M not drunk yet! why am i not drunk yet!! its my fuicking birthday! oh god!! its 12:50am! gahh!! i'm 222! i need to drink so mare and I may post somemore latat!! Lata into my birtday! oh goed!!oh god!! i just got beat up by sean with some boxing gloves.. gahh!!!god damnit why ismn't my baby HERE!! why can't i get some fucking brithday sex! shit SON!I'll be back!

chat with mike

Fri, 20 Jun 2003 00:31:44 MST

go robot: I AM DRUNK!MIKE: and you didn't offer me a drink?MIKE: i dunno if i can hump you anymore...go robot: SHITMIKE: you really made a big mistake therego robot: I'M SO SASHAMED.MIKE: as well you should beMIKE: the only thing you can do now is take the money shotMIKE: then offer me boozego robot: understood.MIKE: you really took that like a champgo robot: i'm a trooper

coughsjournal

Tue, 17 Jun 2003 09:20:53 MST

I think I drank two bottles of nyquil through out the night, I don't remember, I am still affected by it and the world is moving in a different pace than I am.I AM GOING IN SLOW MONTIONplease remind me that flying 8 times in three weeks will make you get sick next time I am planning crazy adventures.the only reason i woke up this morning was because my cat was licking nyquil off of my hand. I had spilled it on the bottle and I fell asleept gripping it.dammit, i have a meeting in 40 mins and I have to talk about the security involved in this database. I am going to start drinking some icky coffee.

writers block

Mon, 16 Jun 2003 22:23:41 MST

did you ever want to SAY THINGS but instead you just sit there staring at a screenyou know that you're supposed to be expressing yourselfor somethingbut it just won't come outbut mabe it was never meant to come outmaybe there IS nothing to come out, maybe it's just the way it goesthe way the energy flowsif i didn't know better i swear i'd been doing bong hitsof course, if i'd done that i'd probably be drawing things. i blame the end of my drawing with the end of my smoking pot. oh waiti started drawing again. i forgot. IT'S TRUE. fuckers.

GOOD MORNIGN

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 08:24:30 MST

so here's the deal. ity's aboth 20 after 8 in the am and i am still drunk from last.night. to add to the amwesomeness i hav eto work with fat tits today. if you do not hear from me after today it is becauuse i have slaughtedred her. i have no dount in my mind that it is going toi be a bloodbath uin there today.tom and ie went to james joyvece irish pyb last night and drank lots ogf guineness. chris wha t the hell were you talklibng about when you called? some lady addicted to gambling was beating a pillow with a iwffle ball bat or somehting? eh, i do not remmbner.i'm slightly scared to drive to worik.

La De Da, fruity drinks

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 04:12:08 MST

Fuck you, I know it's a goddamned girly drink.Shit, I say shit alot when I'm thinking of something to say that won't get me into shitloads of trouble. I'm at a friends house tonight, and I just realized a few hours earlier that the woman he's living with is our old school mate from Middle School. They finally got back together, after she divorced, and he nearly divorced.Hell, I remember when we all used to tease her and call her camel toes. :) I didn't get that myself for the longest damn time.This is kinda a boring fucking post. I haven't really done a single stupid thing today, and the only weird happening was yelling at my brother and his girlfriend, both 15, to quit running around the house naked. I do mean butt-ass naked.I feel like there should be some fucking point, some revelation or some shit, but nothing, just hella late and tired.

le cireique

Fri, 13 Jun 2003 04:33:34 MST

CradBatch: thise guys yhqave it DOWN!jepcity: no shit dude i know. i wish i could do some of what they doCradBatch: this bitch was swimmign i mena kliteraly SWIMMGIN in a vertucal strwech of fabricCradBatch: notmusing her handsaCradBatch: falling andncathicng herself CradBatch: just with her crazy cemon possed bodyCradBatch: its not nbatural]jepcity: i wonder if they have cirque de soleil sexCradBatch: oghod!!!! whgy didyou even have yto say thatCradBatch: some of these chicks are HOTCradBatch: and now imgonna be fuckin stuck on itCradBatch: death defying sexjepcity: shit. talk about a spritual experienceCradBatch: yeah who needs jeezusjepcity: and the music would of course go along with what was happeningCradBatch: remixed gregorian chantrock whike some woman is conmpletely destroying your every comcept of what a human body is capable ofCradBatch: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKCradBatch: with journalists photographers and asold out crowdfif anyone ahs the number of one iof these cirquesolieliedesolelil bitches.... FALLOW THOURGH!

all abourd vomet comet

Fri, 13 Jun 2003 00:50:33 MST

oh my GOD! So katy and I want to albertsopns to buty some ligurour and got liquore to make cocaine. I've had somehting like only 3 drinks and im fukecd! i've been talking to sheldon since then. but alll I have to say is that: I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I LOVE SHELDON I love thsi guy! foreverone that has NEVER met him.. he is so amazing, fujnnym, and full of life! Thsi guy shedlon that I speak of is so amazing I wwould die woith out him.. yeah that.... yhhuea thjats right! his lips are so juicy ti makes me so exictied..i'm going to bed cuz i don't want anoyen to puck puddles of vomit, shut up matty!ps.. ahahhahahaha

not enough for you you thankless fuck

Wed, 11 Jun 2003 05:29:14 MST

high steppin like a bitch. and fuck you pweople and your nonspell haven bitchslapsim gonna make it a poitn to make this a s well spelled as possible high steppin. youve probably experienced this befor. one seconfd your foot is stuck to the cemwnt like someone nailed it there the next second someone hits the swithc and a bomblights up undwer your heel. your foot goes flying through the air like its not even atached to your body and lands somewhere to far away for you to maitnain your balance so you start windmilling your arms like your rolliup thje windows.thompson siad it best. you can see yourself acting in this dispicable mannber but you are powerless to control it. you try your bestcause for asome reason your worried about someone seeing you craet such an attrocity so youre trying your best toget it straight. you endsu p lookin like you have a reemote controled dick int your aass and your fereind woint keept hier hand off the go button...............i weas not doing this tonight. iwas nopt that drunk. what i was doing was needing to piss, like i have neever had to piss befor. but i hasd this sick idea thatn iot would be fun to swee how long icouldgo till i had to piss. i ended up int he supper market tryingto buy cigarets. i was forcingit back so hard it swa starting to give me cramps(ijust typedthatsentecnewithoutwatchingtheboard).the fucjk infront of mwe was taking so long ihad to run outside and letrfly. the vacummof my emtybladder felt liek someone was reaching in to my guts and squeezing my panresa.then it waws the guy SCREAMING at his dog. "WHATDOYOUWANT!?!?! JSUT TAKE A PISS!!!!WHATDO YOUWANT!?!?!NPTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!!' iswear to gofd itswas practicalyword for word. no iam home and i am eating ramen and sobering up.mychristian rommate is ACRACKENUP playin grandtheftauto vice city. niot the best example of a christian role model.he wasntto cleant he apt...........at 230in the mornign...????????there was soemthin g else good buttfuckit

fuck all you women.

Tue, 10 Jun 2003 04:21:20 MST

I hate you all. Most of the progblkems i have had this far are becuaese of gin an dwomen.Why is it htat all women are any drinkwhy is ti that all women are anti gin/fuck women., they dont seem to uihndeerstand that the onlyu way i lov ethem is drunk. i9 wish th3ey loved me runk.or maybe not. fuck women. forever and ever amenb

party time excellenst

Sun, 08 Jun 2003 05:19:49 MST

tongiht i wasf drinkgin on my porch.there ways a paryter going on below my apartment compelx. THey were all hike skollers. anywhoe the cops showed ups at my apoatment bulding.all the shike schooler ran liek scared girls .Most of themn were giels, which is okh with me.they ran upstaire, and mry roomenate and I said "HIDE EHERE:! so somethowe wer neded up weith all these people in outr place, ghidng from tehc ops in our parking lots.somenrhwo my roombnate hookedu p with thsi one kihe schooler. its gunny because we drank an bottle of jagrmister toniight, i hoep he doesn her in the biutt. FUCK YOU AL JOPEY IS MYN MAINE MAN TONGIHT!

cunnies how drunk are you

Sat, 07 Jun 2003 04:49:35 MST

cunnies, what the fuck?joeyla: this is ROBERTON FUCKEjoeyla: that has happened too muchjoeyla: 1 plus i got the TASER HAPPENSjoeyla: whatever that measnsjoeyla: meansjoeyla: fuckejoeyla: fuycejoeyla: shiatjoeyla: jep, what the fuck?jepcity: whatjoeyla: i dont even know anymorejoeyla: manjoeyla: we're at the end of the road herejepcity: as far as what goesjoeyla: i am drink sparks FUYCE! i thinske io just pissed ejp ogff. AHHAHHH! fucjke t hatjoeyla: when you get to sparksjoeyla: tjat s another storyjepcity: hehjoeyla: heyjoeyla: whats going on?jepcity: not much. im thinking i might hit the sack soonjoeyla: YOU MEAN THE SACK!joeyla: OF HEROICN!@joeyla: that's heroin by the wayjoeyla: FUCYCEjoeyla: fuckejoeyla: i know i can!jepcity: yes. that tooand later THis night......joeyla: hahajoeyla: jepjepcity: yes?joeyla: let's hang outjepcity: OK!joeyla: bring sparksnefering

GOOD MORNING DRUNKJOURNAL

Thu, 05 Jun 2003 00:07:41 MST

maan i ahvent loged in thi sbisssh in whiiillle!! howdy ayall!welp sicen tbih shit to d oo on robotskill ain't for shit well oosp i men its bery nrespectable webnistue but a very resnpecntable man namens sam who is nicea well was but ntot nice to em but thats AOKAY becasue nice peopple are hard to cume by exceot joeeey whosentm me florwes nad nice nad kaye who gae me feeho shit on ym hpoiobe!!! vbut the voicebmaeil dont work for shit:(:(: i cant get my pssawrod these letters sure ar lyfing by fast w heeee.~~~~robotksll robetscpiwl rabbits radiskull is an arnachrchist group but that fuckatard becaue they are not PEACEFUL PRTESTORS THEY ARE STUPID HIPIE JKIDS WH WANNA FUCK EVERYTHING UP FOR US INTELETUALS ANARCHISTS like tolystoy and che guevarra fuck teh kizsd who just wanna hz4x04 the palentnet!!! its all about bieng not becoming, said somebtu very smaet but not me. im not smartnicks getting dirnk of wine what aLOARSER!1!! jk i louve you babyi haver wayyy too much alcochaol in my house wtf du we ned all these aclochl for?!!!!!!!!! wine coolares are left over fromy my partay but im dronking of off vodaker and juciy juice. likea hwne i was a litle kid!awwwwwwwwwway to disgrace mt child hoos memories huh1?!jepoy drinK! druinjournal drink! eeberybody drink! i love yous all!!!!!!11

now is the time when i make fun of chris and katryer.

Wed, 04 Jun 2003 04:13:46 MST

ont eim tim i banged in katys room. that shit was hi fucking larious. BLANG.her sister is the besty lay i have had in a while, i will tell you that much. however, she requires kidnapping in order to get her away form that hithole thay call florida.lets play a game. its called talk shit about joes friends.robn: youre a pooze4: suck it!!@! blangnmrn!i just ottaqly sneezed on yma hdn. that was digustingnobody wants tot use this kepyborad now!!! LANGGG.in sounds from away out by the beatiese botys if s pretty fucking good.lets talk about booze now.mka4rs mark = best whiskey...wait....wild turkley???blarng ggngn. what do wee say about that.all iu have tyo say aBTOU THAT IS THATI totraly wacked it in katys bed.BLANGWGFsnmgdkgndfuck you chr5iw.akaty dobule time.ersioudld.e4;

tonisht is not drunky night!!

Wed, 21 May 2003 01:16:52 MST

i x'd outta me and katy'es conversation but it was funny dmmit!! my fingers are so connected sith the keys but at the same time not. just physically not mentally. preesssssssssssssssssss iiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnlift up!repeat..i graduate in 3 days motherfuckers i am so unhighschool it hurtsrobotskull=highschoolgraduate and grow up !vi be sa fe ly: nnigga plzxgo robot: GYARGH!that is one drunk bitchWhat do you call a vegetarian with the runs?A SALID SHOOTER!!!!!!jahohohi give the best advice. i am awesome. you should come talkto me when im high because i am the most insightful and profound person ever and i ramble a lot so there's got to be some truth amongst all the muddledness! my words are floating. text text text<3

coots, drunk blog, you post drunk

Tue, 20 May 2003 22:25:03 MST

okya coots fram, here this goesa with msuch forec. i ahat fream that ei had tehc cooch underthnetah m,y balls./cock and i was like WOW I GO T ONE! and hens grl was like I QIILL SHOW YOU HOW TO TAKE CAER OF THAT THINGS. and i was liek RAD and then i started menstruating,m whcih i kept in a tupperware underneath the toilet.nwoa that is totloay ufkcedkaty, vaj on the tie!@ HahahahHaH

CUNNISE! YOU DRONKS, DRANKS!

Tue, 20 May 2003 03:49:17 MST

joeyla: inmr witngin a dursnkjournq'joeyla: !!mgffny 9: WRITE ABOUT HOW YOUR BUTTHOLE FFEELS LIKE!joeyla: oh shit.joeyla: thats tmight havet been ao g fodo i dae.djoeyla: but ia already did a psot joeyla: shouwld i do anothers?mgffny 9: nahjoeyla: it thnk i shodul you are a msart man!AMTYMY TOTL ME TO WRITE ABOTU MY BUTTHOEL!i am totaly goign togdo that ashti.fucking right.well....right wnow it feels akin to hving a fart come out of it .im on TV. FARTt..!nelson. genioosu.!!eat it, fuckfaces.my wang i mean.like a ausage.

hoyls thit imfungin lti. I AM LIT

Tue, 20 May 2003 03:47:16 MST

we saw MATRIDI RETAERDED!@MATRXI!SHIT!MATRXI!RETARDED.ic am he best keyboardad skills perosn/female humipng assbiters / donkey guy everer!MATRIX RETARDWED~FUCKSING SHIT!oks ost eth bset part of the movie was the part at the END WHWERN NTYOHGING HAPEEND!right,so lets gtalkt abotu mtorofcyclers.mieyks you are fucking gafg, BUY A MOTORROCYLCELS SO I DCANT STEAL IT WHEN IM DRUNK!i need some prono.BYE!lets totally make out.IMT NTO THHERE TO MAEK YOUT IWTH YOU IM HERE TO LISTENNT TO CHHORLOFIL MAN!GO ON TIWHT THE TE CHROLYOPFIL!@utbnrs out the bs4est wya to awathc a vmoei is HGIGH AS THE FUCKIGN BUJEXZUUES!YEAH.fuck you chris.and katy: you haev big ass titiets.rock onm!`

Sono ubriaco - italiano

Mon, 19 May 2003 23:33:56 MST

s'io credessi che mia risposta fosse a persona che mai tormasse al mondo questo fiamma stario senza piu scosse. ma per cio che giammai di questo fondo non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.

the lindsay you'd like to bang

Sun, 18 May 2003 02:53:14 MST

i went out with lindsay tonight. no, joe- not the lindsay you'd like to bang. a different lindsay. and we met up with my friend scott thta ti have nt seen since my 2 nd year in college. my first semester he was pracitcally our "giy on the couch" but then he kjoiing a frat, and beocame a "frat boy::". blah.anyway, what really shook me up tonight was the fact htat i ran in to my brothers ex fiancee in the bathroom. i hate her. listerally, HATE,. she took his money and his dog.the first thing she said to me? "it was all his fault."should i have killed here then adn there? yes.did i? no. because for some STUPID FUCKING REASON i decide it's not my bsiness. she took my number and asked if i would hang out with her. I WASNT DOEN. HOWEVER I HIT ENTER BY ACCIDENT.i also hit caps by accidnet.anyway, i hate her and i wanted to tell her to die. fortunaly she got fat and dyed her hair a very ugly red color.I HOPE APIL BAKKER DIES. that is 2 k's, not just a drunk typoi. everyone send her dead fish.i'm going to sleep now.

grayhounds greyhounds

Sat, 17 May 2003 05:21:21 MST

grayhounds are now my drank o' choice.we spent a significant protion of this evening talking about all the times we got knocked out... i had more to talk about than usual... umm...what?did i say... something?...about what?...brain damage is teh best. that's my favorite thing about the booze. yar.why can't i edit a post?i dont' care...katy (internet broad) from flat ass florida: i'm pretty much over getting a motorcycle. fo realsys. almost all the way. fuck them.i think i'd rather killl myself skydiving or bungie jumping or something else that involves jumping off some shit. my spelling is so tight considering the fact that i can't even see waht i'm typing..i fucked that up, aight?did i?fuck you.what up cocks.......................................

drinks at chilis

Sat, 17 May 2003 04:15:45 MST

joel amd i went to orlando tonigt.we entered chili's (as much as it killed us) to osee all our old coworkers who were still taking orders nad lugging trauys.SUCKERS.we marveleld in the fac thta we got out.then we drank,. i met a niec young man named ricjk who now works terher. apparently he had heard many stories about me which frightened me a bit. i dont like when peple i dont know happen to know more about me then the average joe.the average joe has been promoted from host to server. i think i'm the only restaruant employee in history to be DEmoted from server to busser.apparently i have a "behavior problem". but that was 2 years ago and wel;l the problem has stayed with me.regardless, i have a real job now. allie informed me that one of the servers there (a girl named JADE with the iq of a rock) is now dating justin, my ex boyfriend.i was completely unnaffected by this, which made me insanely happy.GOOD FOR YOU, JADE- YOU WILL BE MARRIED TO A CHILI'S COOK ONE DAY, CONGRATS!joel has passed out on my bed. i need to go kick him now.g'night my people, you keep me sane.

Baseball Game at Zephyr Field

Sat, 17 May 2003 00:23:29 MST

ah, the cool breeze on a summer night a luxury suite at the baseball game provided as a gift by some client of the company, and some extra tickets just HAPPEN to fall my way...there were bats. and not the kind you hit things with, the vampire kind. they're awesome. they must come to eat all the bugs that are attracted to the ballpark lights. there was a moon, huge and orange and looming. partially obscured by clouds that were very dark and indistinguishable from the sky behind them.the game was close and full of impressive plays, a very enjoyable onefree beers and hot dogs and hamburgers and i helped myself to more of each than most people would even think possible. they don't know... once i was at lauren's grandparent's house at a BBQ and i ate like 6 hamburgers. no lie. i can pack that shit away when i'm in the mood. although, i think i'm getting old enough now where it actually stays with me and makes me fatter.. that's no fun.there were fireworks after the game and fireworks are always welcome. i got lost on the way home but serendipitously found my way to the local movie theater, which i didn't even know was in the same vicinity. i was able to get home from there.yeah, all in all it was a pretty good night.cheers.

Still, all hail Bacchus.

Thu, 15 May 2003 04:31:41 MST

Bienvenidos, Should the absence of continuity become obvious in one's life it is only left to surmise that time has, for you, become a warped tool. Is it possible to live in both the past and present? The word we should consider here is "catharsis." A cathartic act is one that releases or deals with pent-up or unresolved issues and problems by means of artistic, literal, or metaphysical extrapolation. By artistic extrapolation I mean the working out of issues in an artistic medium (painting, writing, flinging shit at walls) so that others can commiserate and thereby dissipate the sense of loneliness. There also exists the happiness of simply creating and the cathartic release does not necessarily depend on mutual feeling for the audience and artist. Literal catharsis takes the form of simply telling or offering up one's problems to another's ear. Consider, for example, the concept of Confession in the Catholic church. Literal catharsis may take the form of a friend or GOD ALMIGHTY himself listening about the time you really wanted to put your dick in Sylvia's asshole, but claimed it was an accident. In using the word "metaphysical" I know that I've irritated, if not induced vomiting in some of you. Indeed, this word invites me to immediately disown and discredit any feeling that follows it. However, I use this term not in its modern sense, but in regards to its true meaning-being "beyond physical." It is in this manner that I refer to my original question; Is it possible to live in both the past and the present? As a corrollary I would add, "Is it healthy?" All who read this site either drink far too much in life or think it a novelty to drink and thereby want to indulge in the lifestyle to win acclaim as the greatest drunk. For the Core Drinker, who does so because there is no other way, the metaphysical aspect of catharsis is-I think-perhaps a prime reason for our Epicurean (in the very worst sense) ways. In order to perform my artistic catharsis I will use myself as a medium to describe this metaphysical catharsis, which is inane: I've erased all that poop. It came off as pompous (sp?). Only this: We live and think of ourselves in a dual manner; past and present. Before and after. We live in a way that reminds us of ways we didn't like being. And we compensate by madness. Still, all hail Bacchus. The Core Drinker must persevere, for no one else is brave enough. Slainte,Doc.

girls night out in ybor & channelside

Thu, 15 May 2003 03:04:50 MST

so we go to howl at the moon tonight. "i'm sorry, ladies, we dont open till 11:30 tonight, we have apriavate party going on right now"um. what the fuckl? HEY FUCK YOU HOWL AT THE MOON.we'll see you next week.so we went to james joyce irish puh. lowa had never been there before. i dont think i've ever laughed spo hjard in muy life. seamus os a prettu awesome guy, and he'll be more awesome when he hires me to work there at night.WHOS THE HOT IRISH BARTENDER? seamus. BUIT WHO'S THE CHICKL HE'LL HIRE? me. that's right.eatyour heart out drunks. i'm drinking on the job like Thing.

stupid rabbits shit in their food

Thu, 15 May 2003 02:23:41 MST

So hey check it, I don't know whatever about the economy or shit, but I DO know that my rabbits are too stupid to know to NOT shit in their food. fucking rabbits.I wish you all sexstuffs, but after you all suck my cock.

OMG USA GOVERNMENT

Wed, 14 May 2003 23:23:14 MST

HEYdid you know that the united states government has spent FOUR HUNDRED AND FORTY TRILLION DOLLARS on defense in the last 20 years?? well it's true, according to dave and his ever-so-agreeable girlfriend! i won't take the time to explain why that's complete BULLSHIT because it doesn't matter! if you don't believe it you LOVE GEORGE BUSH and you HATE FREEDOM and HEY IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME YOU'RE A FUCKING FASCIST AMERIKKKAN PIG OH AND ALSO, FREE MUMIA!!!!jesus fucking christi don't love americabut i hate bullshitand THAT is bullshit.SORRY

joe is stupid, joe is a drunk

Wed, 14 May 2003 03:54:16 MST

joe is stupid and reall y dumb. fuck that gauy he is stupid. fuck that.sometimes ro lies for fun but when he lies they are not that good and everyones klike what. and then he 's like ok i suck.8y8yt76yhu98mn-npk k;hn [o,k ;][?\

chirs tout are fucgin btich./

Wed, 14 May 2003 03:25:49 MST

madn.FUCKdamn.ok. i acn spell toaly the righr way what i wasa trying to eays.ok.so otngith we enerty to the fucknig alibi.ht alibui is the pla e to go by our hous when you wAnna get fucking fucked up and shit. so im like hell yueah.i didnt eat hardly anything today os ai ma abotut gfla lttio over and whatnot.eth gdoggy came to say thi toem1!!her name is zsett peabest dog evrer.ok. lo leike at this particualr ba the yhave the deal whweer you go up and you asy gimme a large whatever is hella cheap.22 ounces. 2.25.CHAEPA AS FUCKING HELLrob is a bit5ch.he tried to fuck me in the cucking bar.im sdtltellign this mtoher fucker the whoel time " DONT TRY TO DFUFK ME YOU FUCKING NAZI BTICHFHG"hes like "ok"but hes still tried to do that shit. so i made him instead mastrurbate into a pit infron t aof all of his nzazia bitch bretherrenand they alasighherd at hinm. cause he was awacxkgi g it into a pit.toady i talked to alaskirie on teh phone.alie is a goo dshit;. i dig that girli reoccomendd talkgint o her if you bget ethte chngece .\\\\\\\\ she be mking moffu uckas laugh!1p is a cosol shit too!NO TIME OF DAY FROM THAT HO;/ok istd totlaly time to go to etbed now. PEACE you DOCKSK CFACES!riob asay hi and he sawiashes he coudl be here, so i will accept this award for ehim. RIGHT!@

Vodka Con Beerski / Beerski Con Vodka

Mon, 12 May 2003 11:45:53 MST

Need:Pint glassBeer (any)Vodka (any)Pour a pint of beer. Add a splash or crash of vodka. Enjoy.

DRINK: brassd monkeyk

Mon, 12 May 2003 01:47:00 MST

you drikin a fuickgin 40/you duirhnk teh 40 down to the labrlethwn you putr orange hjuivce itno it til sti tufll.then you ruink the rest.i swear its the bsest things ever

spokane whateverwhatever

Sun, 11 May 2003 03:28:26 MST

so im drinking at multipl;e bars in spokane and i notice that spokjane sucks alot. like not as much as i thought begfore, more than that, and that is buklshgtui man.serious.someoen needs to vigive me money so i can get the fucjk outa here and getr on mwith marrymend aor whatever peole who are older than me do. this is gay.gayi can slpell that word rigfht you all suck shit god damn it!

YAR YA YA YA HOW DRUNK AM I ANYWAY

Sat, 10 May 2003 02:38:00 MST

DOKYHEAH ITS WORKINGOK YHEAH ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I POSTED THATSS CAUSED IVE ONLY DRANK LIKE VODKA AND ID GET WAYYYY TOO DRUNK AND ID HVE NO IDEA WHERE THE FUCK IW AS BUT NOW IM BACK TO BEER SO IAT LWAEST IM STILL AWAKE RIGHTSara: WHO HERE WANTS MY MILK TITSJoan Jett: and degrade herUnda her brella: will we kill her?Joan Jett: and take photosJoan Jett: if you want, s ureSara: HOLY SHITThis CD Rocks: :OSara: IM EATING HUMMOSJoan Jett: hummus is good shitJoan Jett: dont diss itSara: NOJuliendon: hommos?Sara: THAT CAN MEATN ONLY ONE THINGJoan Jett: homosSara: SARA IS DRUNK AS MOSESSara: HOMOSara: FUCKSara: ASSSara: COCKSara: ANAL SEXJoan Jett: when was moses ever drunk?

this is why i am so cool:

Sun, 04 May 2003 19:20:41 MST

i just pissed in a bottle.the best part is that i was IN MY BATHROOM and i pissed in a bottle anywayit was an empty old english bottle in the trashi pissed in it and then POURED IT IN THE TOILETi am fucking awesome

moew rhaN YOU KNOW

Sun, 04 May 2003 03:45:22 MST

the thing abou th the drink is that it really depepnds on the SAIT DSQN and fish FINIESH YOUR DINNER YOUCOOZEwordookay, i lamertonbut whatever fuckwhatevee fucki carnnt spellerton RIGHT NOW (CONCENTRATIONN) at awork here.NO ONE HER IS THED RINK PO:ITKor notahaahahh that s THE FUNCCIEST THING I EVER HARDwordeertonokayt fucky you everyoeSEMEN vs SCIENCEsemen vs science is winning the war against racisdrunkalso< she wants to get GOOD AT ITalso she eaat the hosterton what MEANS are not supposed to hjhaver the TITS(erton_cant sat much more httan tha tis lamerton6 guuys on evvaah 6 on tth ee vaj one one CCCCCCCCRUNK= TROUBLEalsO; fuckerstongi olvve youo

i hung out with yuppies

Sun, 04 May 2003 02:46:52 MST

i hung out with yuppies tonight.actually, i went to ken's college graduation party, and then i hung out with upiies.i went out with tom and his brother matt and matt's girlfriend.matt and girlfriend are awesome, and they live in a very ritzy part of tampa. how the 2 of them were able to afford an awesome spanish style apartment in hyde park, i will never know, but apparently they are yyppies.regardless, we went to Dubliners and had an awesome time. journey songs kept being played on the jukedbaordx and me and dadna kmenw all the words to every one of them,.then tom play "knights in white satin" and we made fun of him.anywya. i had a lot of wine. like, a lot. and i'm farily drunk. okau i am very drunk.rob, gimme cock.

i hate you for making me drink

Sat, 03 May 2003 04:51:21 MST

i hate you so much you son teven fucking understand .i want to kill you chr5is.why?because you ahgave givene me yet antyotrhe reason to get so fucked up that i cant see: ie drunkjournal.i was trying to not frinkl so much,. but drunkjournal was such an incentive that i startedf drinking tongith at fucking 11 o clock,. qwhat thwe eucfk i sup with that shit you vjndvkljfnofhovgnhbvl?also: "vjndvkljfnofhovgnhbvl" is a hella bad word in hungarian.it meanes "meany."you are hella meanNO PROK FOR YOU@i have so much prono just stting aty my comtpuer gives eme this massive boera that i cant ocmabt even by [penie enahcenment devices.i want to fuck yousrs cats in the ass.why?fuck you,. dont ask qwuestions.in buying a plexi.yiou dont knwo what thats isfuck you jermey iowa maryland faghoeli had a 40 and a sparks.and a shot of tequila ++++dfugfk you!pooze41!

slutterton mcdrunktown also: sluts

Sat, 03 May 2003 02:31:47 MST

slutterton mcdrunktown also: sluts

pkayu fuck you

Sat, 03 May 2003 02:30:51 MST

well it\'s me anyyar. so i guess it\'s pkayu fuck you

delete the cookie

Sat, 03 May 2003 02:30:34 MST

yeah fterat who\"s this? weelll I CANT TELL YOU. why? cause something is not delete the cookie wodd. word. fycj ff

login in is hard

Sat, 03 May 2003 02:04:52 MST

too drunk to log in until the third mofukin try...done drank beers, tequila shots wit a crippled social worker in a van with at least 1100 watts, shots of rum i think, and now i'm on that mean juice made by old english... fuck you.i told you fags you would rue the day you let me on this bitch.i'm takin a break to drank a lil more and hit a cancer stick, the you's all fucked. yar.

ctthulu

Fri, 02 May 2003 03:57:31 MST

ims drunk and ill kick ctthulu\'s ass.. just let him know, im not afraasid bitch!!11

writing my drunk jounral paper

Fri, 02 May 2003 03:41:38 MST

okay. wow ., okay so im all writing my paper, and my nreightobr comes over and is like ,yo come over and do shots, ,fast forwatd to 2 o clokcl we have all thrree bottle lined up and i was like yo , im not as thinkg as u drubk i am, so we do the dhots, adnd then imlike cool . .. wow FOTBAKL JUST HM ME IN TH FACEHESO I PRICCE TO BE THE DRUBK SELD THST I AM AND PROclain that i love th fluyers l9ke a fat kid loves kake~50 with that i like to drin,k and i dont like the fact that the pizza guy sdoresnt like it ehrn u answer to door naked and ur likle, duide, where is my free pizza ( donmmi nos has a some specuial offer whrn u can get a free pie_)) so iwe eart the the pizza nd i drink mores and in the land of skunck ,the mon with no nostrils reighsn suprrrere, wirh fuck youd. good lord i have s fuiial tomorroe . Chem is a bitch ehrn ru dont knoe the emperical frmula and your ti-83 is a an outdates peice of crap,okay thry grappbed me again and i di 2 more shots odf absolut, and now i fubboehib can drnk more than i triceratop has horns, wich means that the dinasauors died bcecuase katte touches hereself at nightr . wow, enuff witht he gufffluff.muff,.toufdgh. stuff. godnibht, Boozehounsd.

not enough room for thies thisn

Fri, 02 May 2003 02:13:02 MST

that stupid thing up ther wouldn't even fit the shti i was drinking. a homo got us all trahsed at the bar. homos are the best. no, but that one gut us pretty drunk. twere cool.can i post a painting if i paint it when i'm drunk.? useully i paint while idrink some booze cause it's more fun taht way. or something.i don't know how to upload some images though, i'll have to get jeoylala the front to show me soem more internet shit. why is the internet and halla booze such a fun combination... oh that was a question and lacked the proper punctuation.katy from florida: i want a motorcycle again. but i'm not going to get one for a long time. i'm getting a drum kit real soon though. i'm juiced. i'll have to rock out for a while and that will make me happyy and i probably won't even trip on not havign the motorcycle for a good long while. and then i''ll forget aobut that shit.aboot. blame canada. with their beedy eyes and flappy heads. fuck those guys. speaking of hockey... um. what's up with all the hocky posts. some fools were talking about aboot hockey on here right? or am i jsut making that up. my granpappy played some hockey. then he died from some lung cancer. rock and roll.

the toxic waste drink recipe

Thu, 01 May 2003 06:23:44 MST

highball glass or something larger2 parts vodka, really good with absolut citron (or even bacardi limon)2 parts midori2 parts sweet n sourfill the rest of the glass with sprite, 7 up, etc.....OR substitute plain ol lemon lime gatoradeadd little ice if you wantand then get FUCKED UP!!

dick peirce that guy can't hold his liquor

Thu, 01 May 2003 00:06:51 MST

Okay,. for one my romoate just got his dick p eieced, and it is dicgusting . Adult swim is funny and i dont lick dit wehnr that home molvies resshow comes on. i wish i was nmeeat wad. Howm come when i dfribnk in the shower the water seemsn to come out lower and more subtle. I tried to write self evaltauon papers tonight while drinknig a 12 pqck and t didnt work becuase the sicxckers lost. WHy the fuck si donkeky keg the finnest gsme ever??z2? i mean dfuc kyouL\\\\: also . lagalizwe fuck you.DOnnie dark o is a really good mocivie and i dont like tiehrn girls think he is hot.ALSOE: he isn insane, ansd i put alot pf picturesz on the drunken journalislm /i haveclass in 7 hoguens mmmm. boozehoundz1!!!!unite. i werote a paper onthis site and i iwiol tell you hoe it was when i gwet a grande. look at my picthereed ans comment ,they are funny as abortyion. <3 revolition.

uh oh i drank too much

Wed, 30 Apr 2003 04:50:55 MST

tyha t didn't work and i ain't the front (jomo).i'm drunker thatn shit and fuck it,.fuck thishooooooooooooooooooooooore3ssit were funnh twen jomo fooled you alll and made yo thandk i shat in that kids luggasfe./..luggage...\\\\fuck yuoufr

i think, truly, that i am simply going to just do the shit.

Wed, 30 Apr 2003 04:03:44 MST

fuck it.i want to, and i think it would be a nice thing. and also: i really appreciate it when women shave their pussies.just to clarify-i have had sex with:katy (katy)laura (lowa(buffaloballs))bert (bert)lightfoot (coozefest)allie (allie(emo kid from hell)awesome)maren (mimse(joe's wife))jess (ispfemme)becki (just kidding. never. ever. BITCH I HATE YOU)also: collin.i touched chris' weiner.i played with sams balls.i ate katys sisters box.and got her friend drunk enough to watch.i also banged paige.and now for the rest of the list.I DIDNT BANG LEXI . FOR SHE IS MY COUSNi DID bang dionneand also NOT becki.i banged leah in the ass and not her cooze becuase she is s stupid bitch.alka gave me a blowjob.piya gave me nice conversation.alex and i played video games.plus a blowjob.from me to her.or wqas it the other way around.?katie and i watched macross zero and then i went o bed, and i heard her and eric banging. ROIUGHTi dont knowbut seriously.i also made out with becki, wait no. i told her she was a stupid bitch and to shut up.then also i made out with allie, except not really.shes 17. thats illegal.i tried to get kris to not want to bang me, but she won me over with her hirrble singing skills.piya finally got me to stop teasing her and i took out her garbage.dionne you whore.but really i only fucked laura.i lov you allk.\\\\and i want have sex tiwht you all.fat, thin, stupid, smart, kempt, unkempt...not unkempt, becki....no not becki.MAYVE EVEN FUCKING WICKS<right.oka.fuck you.i have a sdtory.i wacked it while in bed wioth lkaura and katy.thats awesome.you mayt axk why.answer: cause they didnt care.this wordl is wonderful

drunk blog about why you guys suck

Wed, 30 Apr 2003 02:52:36 MST

conversation has degenerated to discussion of shaving the scrotum. joe the front is apparently bout it bout it, i'm thinking chafing. unless you were always very sure to use lots of baby powder...then again, if you were always sure to use the baby powder then maybe...women would presumably be far more willing to lick the balls for along time... i know i appreciate not getting long pubes stuck between my teeth...i seem to be talkign myself into shaving some scrotum...weird.baby powder on the balls is the best anyway.i''mstill a lil tentative to shave my fucking balls.what's the word on this shit? anybody shbave they balls? is it too got damn itchy?

dammit

Tue, 29 Apr 2003 03:11:04 MST

i still can\'t make this thing work and make myself an account. the internet is gay. dammmit.

"database query failed adding user"

Tue, 29 Apr 2003 03:03:03 MST

all i wanted to do was drink my cheap malt liquor and write some drunky shit, but no, fucking fuck internet wontr' fucking work. fuck this. (this is not jomo, this is his roommate, who incidentally never shat in anybody's luggage) i did shit on someone's car one time, but it was well deserved and that was a long time ago. that's anothter story. so what the fuck? i email some shit like hey, can i be on this site, no that won't work just sign up on the freaking site and it doesn't work. fuck. make yer got damned drunky site work you fucking drunk.

Circle.. OF DEATH!!!!! (a drinking game)

Sat, 26 Apr 2003 18:46:43 MST

This was my first drinking game EVER!!!! (played yesterday!!!!)IT IS SUPER FUN!!!Okay. Get 2+ people sitting in a circle. Each person has a drink.In the middle, put a deck of cards and spread it out, facedown, in the shape of a huge circle.You go around to the right and pick a card.If the card is BLACK and a number (as opposed to J, Q, K, A), you drink for that many seconds -- CHUGGING, NO GIRLY SIPPY STYLE!!@If the card is RED and a number, you can divide that number of seconds of drinking amongst all, some, or just one person in the circle (i.e. if you get 6, you can divide it 2, 2, 2; 3, 3; or have one person drink for 6 seconds).OKAY SO THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GIGGLY FUN!!!If it is a JACK, then you go around really fast and ask a stupid random question of the person to the right of you, going around and around (i.e. "What's your mom's name? Do you like cheese?") until someone messes up/asks the same question/starts laughing, etc. Then that person has to drink for like 3 seconds.If it is a QUEEN, then it's "never have I ever.."You say something that you've never done. Then the people in the circle who HAVE done it before have to drink for 3 seconds.If it is a KING, then you make up a rule. Any rule. For example, "whoever laughs next has to drink for __ seconds!!" or a really good one yesterday was "if you get a spade, you have to drink for DOUBLE the seconds!!"If it is an ACE (THIS IS SUPER CRAZY!@!!!!) it's a WATERFALL!!!!The person who drew the card starts drinking, the person to the right of him starts drinking, so on until everyone starts drinking in a domino-effect-esque fashion. Only after the first person stops can the rest of the circle stop one after the other. WHOAH!*****A super fun variation is with Jacks.In the center of the circle, put a bottle of something supercrazy, preferably Jack Daniels.What we did was make a different rule-- what you usually do with Jacks (asking random questions until someone messes up) we assigned to 10's. As for Jacks, whoever got one had to take a swig of Jack Daniels!And the person who got the 4th Jack had to finish the bottle!! (If it's ridiculously full, then take 4 huge swigs.)It ends when all the cards are taken.THIS GAME IS RIDICULOUSLY FUN. PLAY IT. NOW.

i met some internet broad, we drank

Sat, 26 Apr 2003 04:42:34 MST

need a prompt.
internet whores are too stupid.
i cant comprehend why you folkses would travel acrosss the freaking country to meet some other internet folkses who you've never met and say what up yer my friend jsut cause you "talk" to them on the internet.
oh yeah: katy: aka internet broad: you are my hero.� i'm not buying a motorcycle.� not just yet, anyway.� i'm really trying to convince myself that it's a real fucking bad idea.� i'm almost convinced.� your pep talk probably had very little to do with this decision but who fucker knows.� maybe you saved my life.� don't know.� i still don't have one, so i'm not dead yet.� pretty dope, yar.
that above thing about how fucking stupid it is to travbel across the country to visit some mofuckrfes you don't actually know is only meant for all you other asshole fucktards.� internet broad katy is cool and should come to san diego and dirnk lots of booze at our house and hang out.� but fudk the rest of the internet.

sink the bismarck drinking game

Sat, 26 Apr 2003 02:53:39 MST

Fill a pitcher with beer, and a cup half of beer floating in the pitcher (the bismark). All the players gather around the pitcher, with beer in hand, pouring part of their drink into the bismark. The idea is to add just enough beer, that one more drop will sink the ship, thus screwing the person after you, who must drink the sunken cup full of beer. Refill, and start again.

god damn american anime

Fri, 25 Apr 2003 02:37:45 MST

yo so like i was watchng apocalypse now tonight and i wa slie WWOW maybe i shoulld be a renegade sepecial forces colonel!!! or i shouold be the gy who goes to kill him!! eitehr way i was thinking all kind os existesntial bullshit which syou shouldnt be thinking when you're drunk fff your ass then i watched SPIRITED AWAY with dionne who as far as i know doesn't have a drunk journal account and WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE AND I KNEWWWWW IT!!!!!! I KNEW that last line in the eglish versio n was thrown in and not in the origianl japanses "HEY SPRT, YOUR NEW SCHOOL WILL BE ROUGH" "OH I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT DAD HAR HAR HAR" FUCK AMERICA AND FUCK AMERCIANS FOR HVING ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF SUBTLTY! "oh my god, no one is talking! is the movie over?" FUCK YOU they do that shit all the time americans want EVERY GOD DAMN SECOND OF SILENCE FILLED WITH CHATER no lie, they do the japanses perecefer some silence here and there. i think they're right. SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE which reminds me i'm going to bed now

great lets hang out

Thu, 24 Apr 2003 02:49:12 MST

fuck you.who's a bitch?fuck you.joe's a bitch.fuck this.hehelo its totALY JOE.I WILL FUCKJ YOU IN YOUR ANAL HOLE.YOU are the EXCITED one about this fact,.push in, pull out + shoits!!HARE(who's a bitch? -> joerton)guiess what? katyye, laura, all you all ladies with the ripe mouth, eat my vaj. that's right. my VAJ. i am totally a girl with a vajerton and cliterton and an c;eaner analtown. analtown. ah. i am the best.also: fuck you.also: chris, ;et's hang out thanks buddyg reat lets hang out. also": great.katy, shave your vaj berrrfore you coem sto san diego cause i shave mine. peaferton mcfuckoff.also: let's hang outt thanks.also: dionne, let's fuck

ooh lawd. drunk blogging and drunk posting!

Sun, 20 Apr 2003 01:26:20 MST

yall fuckers will rue thje day you let me on yer drunky site. you will rue the day...i might now be too drunk to do this.no, i'm spellin pretty good, relatively speaking.so everyone is aware of the fact that I DID NOT SHAT IN SAM"S LUGGAGE, right?joe made that whole thing up...i just felt the need to clarify, that'd be kinda fucked...you'll still rue the day goddammit.

kill tyler he ripped my RUN DMC poster

Sun, 20 Apr 2003 01:26:20 MST

okay to clear things up, good james is here, with his friend, tyler.they just ripped myu run dmc poster off the door. i'm not happy about this. someone has to die.that someone being tyler.i'ma go to sleep now, but in the morning i will deal wth the rpped run dmc.

shabba im so dunk

Sun, 20 Apr 2003 00:53:53 MST

GAHHH!!! i'm so drunken! we were hanging with some guy I working with and jakeiytss friend good jamesa d som e dork that his friend! AHLARRR!!ll i'm durnkgna nd they are thaniking out ougt thein ther freidndseds.... go way dork!!okay he lfefd... i like my shabba!.. what am I asyhing.. god damntit!!! I <3 someone! katy is my favoritie!!! I like millencolin and htat is what my choice of music... bye bye shhhhheesyyyooo!

rob n joe drinking each other under the table

Fri, 18 Apr 2003 02:28:27 MST

so i amr ob and robv is mme is joety and trobv is drunk too.lets -play a game caled "tohnight tyou fufk aroud !@sounds liek agood game we went to a bar with thsesesse guys whgo awnted rto fuck and it was c oo, cauiadrethey wwerrer ikelfuck you gutws'BLOAGNRRNGNGNGNGGN!!!!imgonnna go to lezslies ghousebvye!!! rboo is a bntif hci kinda weanna go to leslies hosue.fucki tha` trbitfhalso fuc kttha tahsit bye

ffffffff drink way too much

Fri, 18 Apr 2003 02:23:41 MST

this iks tje pspst wasted o jav eneeeeeeem p tjos sjot o droml tpp ,piss amd o gp ttp helll fo rthhis drink seriopusly i am worried trahta i willllll not makke it rhouuuugh the night menaiing ii am worriedd that i wwwill noot ne bael to ggett through the alcoholl that is rppping thhroouugh me rrrrrriigght now.peafe.

lowa WTF - drinking time

Fri, 18 Apr 2003 00:11:43 MST

Why, hello, there! this is my very own post. I've been drinking with katy while she was on the fone. Shabbaing arund. I think I've had like 4 drinks now... yeah, Damn! oh yeha.. I love katy and I'm a spank. I think I really just 14 years old for real, yo! I'm da bingo style. I don't likke snow, i like to sweat.... only during curtain things. what 97 degress toda! WOO!!love to all!Lowa!

burrrrnnnnn drunk, light a fire, burn things

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 22:03:09 MST

blink and i lit muy coffee table on fire tonight.on the eckerd colegfe campus.it was AWESOME.lighter fluid was used recklessluuy and tht table burned mother fucker burned.so tehn we go to where all the dead eckefr college animals are buried (including blinkl's pet rat)and we set off fireworks, which consequently start a fire in the brush that blink had to stomp out.sop then we go on this "adventure" thorough the woods and we're hearing all sorts of animal noises and we saw giant rats plauyiing doctor and i was distirbed.i felt the need to be holding the flash loight the entire time, because if i wasnt oholdong it, i fell oout of contro,l. so blink was nice enought to kee handing it to me while we were on t he woods.now i am very tired because i had an adventurous day and i've bnen drinking.<3

oh wow so hammered cant type

Wed, 16 Apr 2003 21:45:21 MST

umi didn't think i was all that far gone until i started typing this and realized i was typing iyt on the WRONG DAMN PAGEhere:LIFE AIN'T NOTHIN BUT BITCHES AND MONEYtonight i had a bright spota bit of hopesome motherfucker is writing a god damn college paper about the drunkjournali made him a poster before i could even thnk twiceNEW BLOOD NEW BLOOD WOOOOOOOOOOOkevin! someone likes drunkjournal even more than YOUi was thinking today about the mystical qualities of drinking... like, is it CONSCIOUSNESS ALTERING like people claim about acid and shit? i've never done acid and shit... i'm kind of scared to and they say that's RULE # FUCKING 1DON'T DO ACID IF YOU'RE SCARE D OF DOING ACIDso i'll just drink my happy self to death and wonder if superstrings and grand unified theories will make me feel better before i gowow

Skanky skanky skanks

Sun, 13 Apr 2003 01:30:52 MST

It\'s a funny thing, how much some people truly suck. I want to be nice, but I can\'t always. Skanky skanky skanks can die. YAY!

metal aniume whatever i don't care im drunk

Fri, 11 Apr 2003 21:42:01 MST

it's a funny thing, i'm sitting around thinking about how i'm a pretty young guy and like i have no living parents, that seems odd to me, but like it's been that way for a few years so i've been an even younger man and had no living parents.i kindda wonder if thats just at least a part of my boreing/miserable/lowsome lonelylness, must have at least something to do with it anyway, course i'm also a fucked up freakish looking guy so that also must have something to do with it, eh?? then again... i just heard the Machine Head version of Negitive Creep, so that makes things ok. speaking of "ok" another thing that makes me happy to not be dead is "Magical Girl Pretty Sammy" this is like the funniest shit in the world, they got this girl in it named Pixy Misa whose like the bad guy and she speaks alot of english, asnd being a japanese anime it makes it really funny, so if your cool watch it.

the bible, dissected

Mon, 07 Apr 2003 04:31:32 MST

Isaac refused the taint. And Abraham sucked his Son's dick. Kevin and I agree that Isaac and Abraham decided dick sucking was better than taking it from your old man, but not better than taking it from yah weh. Q7antium p[h6ysics have no idweads about what IU may and may not havbe to do to dowith yiourmother,.......this i swkebvin....kevin...fuck your holde with my ballsackl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!God in his inginite wisdom has reprimandedm y self to take upon myselsf your stu[iofididnmess.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hyate yer nerwness .!!!!!!!!!!111 mI will anticipate yern anciunet overnbment upon them w0rld at larrgfe and act upon the worlxdd qwith a vengeance!Q Aplso,, Did you know that drinking makes things different!44444My gi8rlfriend sucks yer ballasss!!!Love,Doc.K.