Deep Thought

An Adventure In Phone Shopping (Ode To Crackberry)

2010-11-28T00:39:19Z

Posted courtesy of http://www.piratedthoughts.us the private blog of Jay Grider, DTgeeks.com features editor. Original article can be found At this location. This is a modified version of the article edited to better suit the content of this site.

My Curve was a gift from a friend and former boss Chip. Chip bought the phone through T-mobile probably when it first came out as the Curve 8320 was released in 2007 and it was gifted to me in 2009. Chip moved from that crackberry to another quickly, and shortly after moved to AT&T for an iPhone. When my Nokia flip phone, whose model number I am too lazy to find but we can suffice that it was a piece of crap, died after a long string a abuse (being pushed into the pool during JAWS camp, being thrown into my wall and getting stuck, being dropped out the car window on the interstate on accident [you get the idea]) I tried to seek a cheap alternative to pay for a new phone.

As someone who has task management issues I found myself craving the scheduling features that a smartphone packed. Posting around and tweeting asking if people had any old blackberry’s laying around *since i knew no one would give out a free iPhone or Droid* @ichip offered his to me. I fell in love as soon as I unlocked the T-Mobile device to work on my wireless carrier, a process that only took me 18 hours of active hacking. The phone was fast, easy to use, and feature rich. This was a whole new league of phones I had never experienced before.

Yet like all my phones during those teen years of angst and pubescent rage, the crackberry took abuse. Anger over breakups and douches with beards stealing the girls I pined for at night, the crackberry began to see some wear and tear. About a year ago the trackball went out, a combination of angst fits, clumbsyness, and using my phone while my hands were greasy. This was an easy fix, a four dollar order from overstock.com meant a new trackball for my crackberry, and another year of functionality.

Now as 2010 is drawing to a close, my crackberry cries in pain everyday, as I weep over missed calls and sms messages. Recently the sim card pins soddering has come loose, either that or my sim card is busted, which it appears to be alright, and replacing it is not an option as my wireless carrier doesn’t know I am using a smartphone (SHHHHHHHHH). Leaving me with a phone that drops service every ten minutes or so and requires a reset to get it to come back. These are dark days in my digital world.

As my crackberry began to die I felt it was time to let it rest in peace. I began examining the newer models of crackberrys available from my wireless carrier. I went to several wireless stores to play with the models of the new phones, and even called a friend who has one of them and asked if I could play around with it for an hour or so. The outcome was glum at best. Despite being a crackberry the features and apps offered were just to downbeat. The new interface was confusing and extremely complex. I quickly grew to fear that I may have to venture into a realm of a new phone manufacturer.

In my senior year of highschool I spent about $1200 on a macbook. This was the worst decision of my life. If I had saved that money I would have $1200 less in student loan debt.... ok maybe it was an ok decision, no it wasn’t. The truth is that I love PC’s, I love playing video games, I love being able to take the side off my desktop and move things around and change speeds of fans and physically manage every aspect of my computer. Beyond that In the two years I owned that macbook I had numerous failures of the hardware, and numerous issues with the customer relations team at Apple. In the few instances that they refused to repair an issue caused by poor manufacturing I found that getting angry and peeling keys off the macbook’s keyboard and tossing them at them would usually get them to fix it for free, and buy my something from Captain Ahab’s Coffee ARRRRR. However, it was only a matter of time until I got bored of wasting my time doing this and sold the piece of crap for a cold $600. That was a good decision. Anyway, thats why I hate Apple now.

So with iPhones off the table, I decided to look at windows 7 phones, since they just came out and all. These phones, although cool, and full of features, were not very customizable. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the interface, its what makes me love my Zune HD so much, but there is not much you can customize about it, and I like to customize. This only left one option, Android. My carrier, like all non Verizon carriers does not offer a stellar offering of Droid phones. However they have a few, and one that is about the size of my Curve and just as cool.

Why Droid though? Thats the real question. The market demand seems to be calling all of us to buy an iPhone, not a Google mobile OS based smartphone that is made by some Taiwanese person. The simple answer is in the quality of the hardware and the market experience. The phone that I chose to purchase is made by HTC, a mobile industry leader since the mobile industry began. This company is the big leagues of mobile devices. They created the IPAQ, the first touchscreen phone, one of the first 3G phones, and the first 4G phone. Thats quite a list of accomplishments, on top of the fact that they have a custom distro of android that features a much smoother GUI. HTC, a company that many of us never heard of till the last few years grew in silence. They didn’t start branding devices as HTC until just several years ago and the first big one that anyone can remember was the myTouch.

Lets look at Apple, more specifically their accomplishments in the mobile communications industry: ~~Multi-touch technology~~ (Invented far before the iPhone was released, 1982 by the University of Toronto to be exact), ~~a mobile phone that sync’s with itunes~~ (first done my the motorokr), ~~Application market~~ (done first by RIM with blackberrys), ~~Retina Display~~ this is really just a combination of an LED screen with TFT and capacitive technology, in other words “they took a bunch of things and put them together"). To summarize, it is impossible to find innovation by Apple in the mobile market, it was all done before the iPhone came along, it was all done after the iPhone came along.

All in all, I find the reasoning to go with an opensource OS and a trusted hardware manufacturer more reassuring than a company that simply duplicated features and claimed they were new. Just saying.

A History of Black Coffee (Via Piratedthoughts.us)

2010-11-19T19:19:44Z

Posted courtesy of http://www.piratedthoughts.us the private blog of Jay Grider, DTgeeks.com features editor. Please note that this is an article of fiction. Original article can be found At this location

Commonly my 8am class will get out early, which leaves me with nothing to do until nine. This down time commonly leads to me meandering my way into the nearby Einstein Bros Bagels and getting a cup of black.

Let me be honest with everyone here. I drink my coffee black, not because I am lazy, but because I find a simple elegance in black coffee that cannot be found when you drowned something in whip cream and caramel syrup. Black coffee is something I feel has lost its appeal over the age of sugar sucking idiots that comprise my generation. There is a confusion amongst humans as to what being a connoisseur of coffee is.

Most people consider coffee to be graded upon the quality it was prepared, the quality of the extra things added to it, and the quality of the milk that they drown it with. Not to discredit this theory, but where is the actual quality of the bean involved in this process. Indeed the bean is forgotten.

Black coffee was a staple of the life of a man up until the mid 80′s. Along with the decline of the diner, the most common place that coffee was propagated to the public, black coffee also declined. The decline of the diner can be traced to the great cockroach rebellion of 1983 where in the cockroaches of New York and New Jersey signed a cease fire in the intents of disrupting the business of any restaurant where the facade was wider than the eating area was deep.

This of course was not the final nail in the coffin of black coffee served in small, off color, commonly beige mugs. No the rise of mainstream coffee houses contributed quite a bit to the death of black coffee. It was the launch of the Captain Ahab’s Coffee ARRRRR chain (Later to become as Starbucks) that ultimately began the downfall of black coffee across the nation.

Captain Ahab’s Coffee ARRRRR and its nautical themed caused an almost exponential effect upon the back of the great cockroach rebellion. The effect was almost catastrophic for diners and diner-esque style restaurants. After the downfall of the League of Diners in 1994 there was only one man left standing.

Waffle House, or Das Waffel Haus for my German Readers, became the final contender for sharing black coffee with the world. Obviously I am excluding conferences of any kind here as no business man wants some idiot with a beard trying to put caramel in his French roast. Indeed only the shape of a Waffle House saved it from the destruction. The ingenious shape of a square restaurant had been previously unexplored by entrepreneurs prior to this point in history. There had been a lot of geometrically correct restaurant shapes over the years, but only Waffle House had perfected the square restaurant shape by this point.

Despite the decline of black coffee there was still hope to be held. A shining star of pure black gold rose out of east Boston in 1998. Larry Bird’s Dunkin’ Donuts! (later shortened to Dunkin Donuts due to Larry not wanting Shaq to start a chicken restaurant called “Im’a Dunkin my Bird”) became the most popular chain of coffee houses ever started by an NBA player.

Bird’s dream of a world with easily accessible black coffee quickly looked like it was becoming a reality. A dark force from the west arose and quickly threatened the entire coffee world. Indeed it was the second coming of Ronald Reagan. But thats another story.

In Light of the Lyrics App Debacle

2009-05-20T02:04:48Z

Link

Apple initially rejected Jelle Prins’ iPhone app Lyrics, which displays lyrics for the songs in your music library, including the profanity contained in some song lyrics. Apple cited that fact as the reason for turning Prins down.

Oh Apple, look what I found:

Perhaps maybe you should make them censor it?

Ooh, and there’s this other app that allows unfiltered access to the internet, including objectionable content which you seem not to like allowing. I think it’s called… um.... Safari, that’s it! Wait a minute....

Yeah, make the developers of that conduit of smut pay for their sins against our children.

Speaking of children, won’t somebody think of them?

Classy Gradient Wallpapers Using Only MS Paint

2009-03-30T06:00:03Z

If you just want a classy, simple wallpaper, but only have access to MS Paint (this is most useful in an office,) there exists a way to create simple gradients using an image as small as nine pixels square.

Use the Attributes dialog to specify a very small image. Depending on the amount of colors you want to use for the gradient, you may want to add more or less, but keep the image square.
The pencil tool can be used to color individual pixels and fill the image. Play around with the shape and tones of the intended gradient.
Save the file as a .jpg.
Set it as your wallpaper, in stretch mode. Windows will scale the image as if it were a photograph, and smoothly blend the image.

et viola!

To download the sample image, “Right Click, Save As” this text.

Oh Great Thanks A Big Bundle Microsoft Marketing Department

2009-03-28T01:56:55Z

No, really, thanks. Not only now do I have to deal with your stupid ad campaign getting plastered all over the internet, getting talked about by anyone and everyone with an opinion and just a smidge of an audience (oh, and the actual campaign you’re running, too) now I’ll have to see more of the opposite but equal counterpart: “Hey Guys I’m a Mac I’m supposed to be cool but instead I’m Justin Long isn’t that weird?” Yes, that’s right, the Apple marketing department is likely right now--at this very moment--working on their witty rebuttal. So not only do I have to sit through more parts of their ads that don’t involve John Hodgman, I have to sit through more Daily Show episodes that do not feature him as a correspondent. And on top of that, whiny internet nerds who are not me.

No, seriously, great job.

OK, This is Just Excessive, Guys

2009-02-26T00:16:36Z

Seriously, two times now? Come on, did you people really think Valve wouldn’t notice you running around with items that should take months to acquire on release day?

Part of me thinks the penalties should be getting more severe, not less.

Ok that’s enough GENERIC INTERNET RAGE for now.

Safari 4 Beta (tl;dr: meh)

2009-02-24T23:14:45Z

So I come home this afternoon to find that all the blogs are abuzz with the glee of new software. Naturally, I approach (with far more dignity, I might add (because of how dignified I am (I am awesome))) the source of this kerfuffle to discover that, surprise surprise, it’s about Apple.

“Whoop de doo,” I thought, “another session of Apple blowing their own horn over something that really doesn’t need it.” And I was right. Mostly. Safari 4 contains the following new features:

A slight extension of the browser epenis that is JavaScript rendering speed
The speed dial feature of Opera except now it’s on a concave surface and you can rearrange the sites
The entire top interface of Chrome in its entirety
More instances of Coverflow being run directly into the ground (experts predict that we will have depleted our Coverflow reserves by 2015 in optimistic estimates)
The fact that they finally understand that no one cares about their Mac-looking interface when it’s not actually on a Mac
A few rendering engine enhancements that will have come to every other browser by the time people other than Apple actually use those features in web design
A slight animation when skipping to named anchors

Let’s step back and have a look at that item three up from the bottom. Yes, this one:

The fact that they finally understand that no one cares about their Mac-like interface when it’s not actually on a Mac

Unfortunately for Apple, the King shall remain on his throne. Hopefully, however, this exciting new turn of interface events makes it to iTunes and Quicktime. In the case of the former, my head will most likely combust.

4chan.org’s Popular Board /b/ Taken down

2009-01-10T23:26:45Z

In wake of the DDOS attack on /b/ that I reported on a few minuets ago. It has taken only twenty seven minuets for the moderators at 4chan to take down /b/. At 7:27PM EST /b/ was reported as 404’d.

4Chan.org Threatend By Internet War Against Boxxy

2009-01-10T22:12:01Z

While browsing one of my favorite sites I found that the internet war between 4chan.org‘s Anonymous and a young, quite annoying girl from youtube named Boxxy has began to reach what a sociologist would call ”Critical Mass.” There is a large movement amoung 4chan.org users to perform a DDOS attack on the site at 7:00PM EST tonight. If you also brows the website be sure to expect delays or even a total server crash from 7PM onwards tonight.

The group of users are calling the attack under two codename: Operation Valkyrie and Operation Clampdown. The goal of the attack is to, according to the boards at 4chan, “stop the spread of the boxxy cancer.”

I will keep you updated on this situation as it develops throughout the night.

UPDATE 6:45PM EST: Just fifteen minuets before the attack an image is found of DDOS program aimed at 4chan.org. It appears to be a program commonly used called Low Orbit Ion Cannon. The interesting thing from the screen shot is that the programs are set to broadcast a message to the 4chan.org mods to destroy boxxy or else it seems the attack will be endless. More information to come.
ion.jpg

Images regarding the DDOS attack: (these have been edited to make them more family friendly and as to not promote illegal actives as is against dtgeeks.com policies.)
valkyrie.jpg

DISCLAIMER:
In no way is the author of this post, or http://www.dtgeeks.com supporting the hacking, attack, or other illegal actions against any other website. We are in no way responsible for the actions of any of our readers and have done all we can to prevent our readers from being able to join in said attacks. By reading this post you agree that you exanerate all blame for any actions related to the above event from http://www.dtgeeks.com, its authors, its owners, or other readers.

Mac Heist 3 Begins

2009-01-06T20:38:46Z

Mac Heist three began today. They are offering Process, normally $39USD, for free just for logging in. Beware, the web server is buckling under the load of people. So it may take a long time to get anywhere.

Head over to www.macheist.com to join the fun!

UPDATE: It appears that the next piece of loot is MacDust

So I’ve Just Come Into the Posession of a New Monitor

2008-11-12T00:53:15Z

And it’s been quite illuminating. Before I go on, however, I should note that this post contains images, and that if you’re using dial-up you should take a moment to remember that you are accessing the internet using the telephone line, which although may have sufficed in a bygone era, is a preposterous thought in this day and age. You should then go get something to drink because this page will take a while to load, what with you calling it up and asking it what it looks like instead of using broadband like civilized people.

Ahem.

For starters, I found a minor display bug in iTunes.

I wonder if Apple has any large displays laying around their offices.... Eh, probably not.

I also found that glossy displays are better than matte. All matte advocates are hereby committed to a mental institute for their choice, which is wrong by virtue of differing from my choice.

What’s on the screen? What’s in the room? Hours of fun for the whole family!

Lastly, I’ve found that the mobile web is more fun the larger the display gets.

Who needs line wrapping?

The interesting thing that I’ve noticed is that, despite coming from a dual-monitor setup, I feel more like an evil genius now than I did before. There’s something about a guy hunched over in front of a huge panel that exudes the feel of 1960s evil.

And this concludes the last content-free post I’ll be making.

So, um, Windows 7

2008-10-29T03:56:17Z

There really isn’t any other way I can think of to introduce an entry where I talk about Windows 7.

So, after seeing a run-down of the new taskbar in 7, I have to say that I’m cautiously optimistic. On one hand, there was the somewhat bad decision to eliminate separation of open applications and shortcuts in the taskbar, as well as remove the titles from view. On the other hand, some of the other enhancements, such as the Jump Lists, the pinning applications in position, and the Peek slab sounds like a useful feature in theory, though it hasn’t yet been implemented. This is one situation where Microsoft’s position on deprecating old features can be appreciated, as it appears the current style can be chosen over the new one. I do like the direction Microsoft has taken with the system tray, which will, by default, suppress all third-party icons and notifications.

Aero Snaps could actually catch on like hot corners have on other operating systems. I can see myself making use of the left and right edges often, though I do wonder how it’ll handle dual-monitor situations. Gadgets should have retained the sidebar as I preferred them that way, and the new theme manager is a nice, if small, upgrade.

More screenshots here.

And now for something completely different…

To round out this post, I’m going to do something crazy: admit that I was wrong. When Google Chrome first came out, my reaction was the same as all other internet professionals: sux lol. Now, well,

So, there you go, Windows 7 looks okay and I’m not always right (only mostly.)

Note to Apple: Vista is fixed.

2008-10-22T04:32:38Z

Apple’s relentless anti-Vista smear campaign continues, with its latest round of “Mac vs. PC” commercials accusing Microsoft of spending money on marketing that it could be spending to “fix Vista.”

Here’s a note to Apple: Vista is fixed. It’s called Service Pack 1, a release that, by all accounts, addresses the vast majority of issues Vista had at launch. Windows Vista with SP1 is fast, stable and highly capable, and despite Apple’s relentless smear campaign, people are gradually beginning to realize that Vista isn’t as bad as they’d been led to believe.

It’s time for Apple to stop the smearing and go back to focusing on the positive aspects of Mac OS X.

Tomorrow is Wednesday, and You Know What That Means

2008-10-22T01:50:33Z

Yes, that’s right, a new Zero Punctuation episode is released. Remember class, it’s okay to Laugh Out Loud as you young people say, just remember to take notes because there will be a test on it tomorrow. It’s recommended that you review previous editions in the archives to help prepare yourself for the test.

In other news, I went on a nostalgia trip this week when I found my old Rollercoaster Tycoon disc. It actually installed, and then showed me why 2D isometric perspective could not have died sooner. Imagine trying to line up two sections of path in three dimensions, except you have no depth perception at all and you have to stand 20 feet away from whatever it is you’re constructing. Yeah.

I’m not the guy to go to for old school gaming, let me tell you.

Just For The Record

2008-10-21T02:10:28Z

Since over the years it has become increasingly clear that Apple’s developers cannot for the life of them write Windows applications with any sort of the attention to detail for which they are known, and since it is also an arduous task to educate those who have not personally experienced the cavalcade of mediocrity that is anything made by Apple with the extension .exe, I want to array out just how oddly inconsistent and sometimes frustrating these applications are. Rather than start right in with the evisceration, however, I want to go over the sole Apple application that actually took Being a Windows Application 1-2: Software Update, for some mysterious reason.

Apple Software Update

Ignoring the obvious aberration that under no circumstances should bug fixes necessitate a 75MB download, Software Update by and large is the best application of the four. It’s consistent with the visual theme of the system rather than foisting it’s own look upon everyone, it (mostly) uses Windows design conventions (except for one big one: Tools>Options is the preferred way, not Edit>Preferences. An entire menu in the menubar could have been eliminated by following this simple paradigm.)

Quicktime

I’ll start with the most mature application of the group, and by mature I mean senile. Remember when Apple thought so highly of encasing every product they made in brushed aluminum that they got half way through their software library before realizing robovomit isn’t attractive? Quicktime is a monument to that bygone age. It’s also a monument to the bygone age of Windows 98, because that’s what all the options dialogs look like.

iTunes

Next up is iTunes, and the best thing I can say about iTunes is that it shed its robovomit shell. The worst thing I can say about it is that it’s one of the worst applications I’ve used outside of malware because any decent feature it may have is buried under a thick layer of slow, but that’s besides the point. The point is that it forces a custom skin that in no way wants me to run out and switch to a Mac (although it does create the urge to do things involving blunt, rusty nails and cute innocent creatures, although I’ll probably be sent to jail.) The most puzzling issue is that unlike Quicktime, options dialogs no longer hearken back to Ye Olde Windows; they’re native no matter the theme applied.

But wait, it gets even more confusing!

Safari

This is by far the least conforming application of the group (that applies both to Windows in general and the applications in said group.) Not only does it go the distance and fully skin everything, it even has its own font rendering shared by nothing else. Unlike iTunes, Safari is not cripplingly slow, although it does throw just about every Windows interface convention out the window with not even a hint of hesitation.

Anybody have an answer for why this is? I’d love to know. My current theory involves Jobs as a being not of this dimension and the alignment of several crucial stars, but maybe there are others out there.

Adium Adds Facebook Chat Support

2008-10-21T00:41:23Z

For years iChat has been the best bet for a instant messaging program on OS X. At least in my opinion, the old Adium lacked in many features, and the new one still lacks some. These are excused by one simple feature that iChat is no where near beating. Facebook Chat support.

Facebook chat is possibly the ugliest thing ever invented. It plagues the bottom part of your Facebook page, blocking links, obstructing pokes, and making me piss blood I am so angry. I mean why in the name of all that is good and holy in the world of technology would Facebook ever think that something like a pop-up chat bar at the bottom of the screen would be anywhere near a good idea? Honestly, I have nothing that relates to any kind of clue as to why they did this. I just know it pisses me off. The chat interface when a window is opened takes up about 400 pixels. So depending on what computer your using to look at Facebook, the chat window may eat anywhere from 20% of your screen to 100%.

Seriously though, this chat interface is possibly one of the worst I have ever seen. Even irc was better planned when it came out in the 1990’s. This completely obtrusive chat window keeps popping up and blocking me from clicking on one of those adds that has the half naked girl on it! Cause I am totally interested in womens underwear Mark Zuckerburg. Yeah that’s totally the case there buddy, you got it completely right. Anyway, back to my point. There is a reason why Facebook is not growing as fast as it was before the remodeling; and that reason is called Facebook Chat.

However, there is a solution now to this hideous thing that makes us wanna puke when we get on Facebook. Its called Adium. Adium just added Facebook Chat support in their multi-protocol instant messenger client. This means that we can still chat on Facebook, but not only is it prettier, but it also gets logged. So now your Facebook chats can be read later in the day, and you can reminisce about the cute girl that you talked to for five hours that day. So all Mac users rejoice! We are free from the tyrants grasp once again!

Adium can be downloaded at: http://www.adiumx.com/
Facebook can be turned off by pressing the little red circle at the top of this window. Please do this now.

Back-to-school tech shopping: a buyer’s guide

2008-07-26T07:58:54Z

It’s back to school time again here in the United States, and you know what that means: kids going off to college! And these kids may need a computer! Are you a parent without a clue of what to buy, and what your kid might need for school? Read on.

Mac or PC?

Who would have imagined that a such a simple question would resort to fanatical responses? At any rate, the decision isn’t as clear-cut as it used to be. Despite big gains by Apple, Windows still controls a good 90% of the market. There is still much more software and accessories available for Windows than the Mac, but that doesn’t mean the Mac isn’t a good option. There may not be as many products available for the Mac, but there are still more than enough choices out there for most users, and that number is always growing. Windows PCs start at lower prices, but Macs are not out of reach for most people (Mac laptops are available from $1099 US). Another thing to note is that Macs can run Windows too.

Also, some schools or academic departments may have certain requirements; some may require Macs, others may require Windows. Be sure to check with your kid’s school for any specific requirements.

Desktop or laptop?

In my two years working at an on-campus computer store, I can tell you this much: students love laptops. They take them to the library, to class, and to study groups. So for most students, a laptop is the way to go. Desktops tend to be more expandable and more powerful (especially on the higher end), but for the vast majority, a laptop can do just about anything a desktop can, even drive a second display.

Software

The most obvious piece of software is Microsoft Office (Windows and Mac version). There are other options for office software too, such as iWork for Mac users and OpenOffice.org¹, which is available for Windows, Mac, and Linux users. The best part about OpenOffice.org is that it’s free! All three offer a similar batch of features and can all read and create Microsoft Office files. A free trial is available for Office for Windows and iWork for the Mac, so you can take those for a test drive and see which one you like best. A demo of the Mac version of Office isn’t available for some reason, though.

Security

The number one security concern in computer users’ minds is malware (viruses, etc...). To help prevent a massive infection, you kid’s school may require antivirus software. However, antivirus software may be available from the school either free of charge or for a small fee; check with the school to see what the requirements are, and what they provide for students.

The number two security concern is, well, making sure the damn thing doesn’t get stolen! Fortunately, there is an easy theft deterrent: a cable lock. These attach to a cable lock port that is included on almost all laptops on the market.². A cable lock is inexpensive and easy to use, and will prevent most crimes of opportunity.

More Accessories

There’s a crapload of stuff you can get along with the computer. Quickly going down the list in no particular order:

Storage: You’ll want to get both an external hard drive and a USB flash drive. External hard drives are invaluable, because, trust me, your son or daughter will want to back up his/her stuff. I don’t know how many times I’ve helped panicked grad students who just lost their dissertation because their hard drives died. Backups are your friend. Flash drives are useful for shuffling files between computers, or for taking to the computer lab to print a paper when your son or daughter ran out of printer ink and needs to have the paper on the professor’s desk in twenty minutes. Waiting to the last minute is bad.

So to recap: storage good. Panicking bad.

A bag: If your kid just got a shiny new laptop, what better way to keep it shiny than a nice sleeve case or bag to go with it? Personally I lean toward backpacks and messenger bags; basically, you’ll want something that doesn’t look like you have an expensive piece of computer equipment in it to, again, prevent crimes of opportunity from would-be thieves. I own a backpack by a company called STM, and I swear by it. You can read my review of it here. STM, of course, isn’t the only game in town; other vendors that make great laptop bags include Timbuk2, Waterfield, Sumo, Targus, and a good number of other companies.

Keyboards and mice: If your kid got a laptop and will be spending a lot of time at a desk, they may want to consider a keyboard and/or mice. Keyboards and mice come in more shapes and sizes than you could ever imagine. Keyboards and mice come wired or wireless, in standard designs or ergonomic ones. Some mice are designed to be easy to toss in your bag with your laptop. Some places to look for more information include Microsoft, Logitech, Targus, and Kensington. If you’re looking for ergonimic keyboards and mice, Key Ovation has a full line of ergonomic products.

Surge protectors: You don’t want to end up with a fried computer after a power surge, do you? Get one. They’re cheap, and they sure beat the alternative.

USB hubs: Some computers—especially laptops—have a limited number of USB ports. If your kid has an iPod, a keyboard and mouse, a printer, an external hard drive, and a digital camera, they’re going to need more than the two measly ports on a MacBook. USB hubs are generally inexpensive as well. A word of caution: some USB hubs are “powered” while some are not. A powered USB hub includes a power adapter and as the name suggests, gives the USB port additional power. (Captain Obvious strikes again!) The reason for this is because some devices require the additional power; every USB port on a computer is capable of carrying an electrical current, which some devices (e.g. an iPod) require. However, each USB port on a USB hub does not carry enough of a current to power these devices, hence the power adapter. In general, you will want to buy a powered USB hub.

Printers: Once upon a time, about the only choice most users had were inkjet printers. And inkjet printers are good: they give you decent quality on the cheap. Or at least the initial cost looks good. And then you get taken to the cleaners for ink cartridges. However, in recent years, laser printers have come down in price to the point where a standard black and white laser printer is now well within reach for most buyers. And even though toner cartridges are usually a good bit more expensive than ink cartridges, they last longer. Way longer. If your kid needs or wants to print in color (photos, etc...), an inkjet is still the way to go. But if all he or she needs is something to print English papers, a laser printer may be work a look.

Note that printers sold today do not come with USB cables in the box! Be sure to pick one up when buying the printer. If the salesperson doesn’t mention this, then, well, they’re not doing their job.

A second monitor: While not a must-have, a second display is worth considering for one fact: it boosts productivity. Also, laptop users will appreciate the space.

These are just some of the things to consider; there are a many more items to think of. But the ones I mention above should provide for a pretty complete setup for most people. And even though this list is geared toward buying for college, most of these tips are equally valid for general computer purchases too. That’s right, two blog posts in one! A model of efficiency!

Where to shop

You could order through a mail-order catalog or online. Or you could go to Best Buy or The Apple Store. But, hands-down, the best way to buy a computer for your kid is the on-campus computer store. Many schools have one, either as part of the bookstore or as a separate shop. But regardless of the location, these places can offer your son or daughter computers, software, and accessories at ridiculously low prices, thanks to academic discounts. Now for the caveat emptor: these stores often require the student to be present when making the purchase, and require a student ID, so you might not be able to surprise your kid with the computer of their dreams. But then again, you save a crapload of money, so I’d say that it’s a pretty good tradeoff. Wouldn’t you agree?

And one final note...

This is my last post here at Deep Thought. I have recently accepted a job with a major computer industry publication (*cough*PC World*cough*), and, since Deep Thought covers a lot of the same ground as my new employer, I won’t be able to write for DT any longer since, well, I’d be competing against myself in a sense. I was one of the original staff members here, and DT has been my baby so to speak, even if it hasn’t been as successful as we all hoped. I’ve had a blast writing for Deep Thought over the past three and a half years, and I am sad to leave it behind. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read what I’ve posted, no matter how stupid some of it may have been. I appreciate every comment you’ve written, whether you love my work or hate it. I credit my work with Deep Thought for helping me land this job in the first place, and I will always remember the time I spent here.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

-- Nick Mediati
July 26, 2008

¹Can somebody tell me why they added the .org to the software’s name?↩
²The MacBook Air is a notable exception; it doesn’t have a lock port.↩

WWDC 08 Keynote wrapup and postmortem

2008-06-09T18:35:00Z

The WWDC keynote has come and gone. Now it’s time for pundits (or wannabe pundits) to pick apart every detail about the keynote. Let’s do just that. Before we go any further, be sure to take a look at my WWDC predictions to see where I stood before today.

In general today’s keynote had no surprises. And I expected it to me almost entirely iPhone (which it was). Let’s take a closer look at what was announced, and what wasn’t.

What we saw

iPhone apps, OS 2.0 and SDK

Again, no big surprises (though some new features that’ll make developers a little happier, including the iPhone’s “push” notification system). What we did see is that the iPhone may become a pretty damn good mobile gaming system. I’m not going to det too into detail here, since there was nothing really new announced, except to ask, what will these apps mean for iPhone battery life?

My prediction: I pretty much nailed this one, right down to there being 3rd-party app demos (I’d go so far as to say there were too many app demos, but whatever).

3G iPhone

Anyone who predicted a more radical change in form factor (larger iPhone, etc...) was proven wrong. Let’s be honest, the iPhone is a perfect pocket size right now. What good would it do for Apple to release a larger one? As for the appearance, the black-and-white-back rumor was spot-on, even with the non-recessed headphone jack. So once again, this was pretty much what everyone was expecting: 3G iPhone with GPS and relatively minor cosmetic changes.

My prediction: Captain Obvious strikes again! The one thing I didn’t see coming was the price drop. There were some rumors of subsidies and a price drop, but I didn’t really buy into them. FAIL on my part there.

MobileMe

So Apple took .mac, added some iPhone-friendly features, pitches it to Windows users too, and rebrands it. And they still charge $99 for it. I never really had a problem with .mac’s price tag before, and I still don’t have a problem with MobileMe’s price, but I’m sure there are a lot of people there—particularly those who don’t own iPhones—who will still see MobileMe as not worth the price. The only thing I see missing at this point is file syncing. Aside from that, MobileMe looks to be a great service. I’m not a big fan of web apps, even with all the AJAX-y goodness around today, but I’ll take MobileMe’s new web apps for a spin and write about them whenever MobileMe is launched.

My prediction:I felt there was a good chance of MobileMe making its debut today, and sure enough, we saw it. Now when will I have a me.com email address?

What we didn’t see

Tablets

Anyone who expected these need to get a reality check. Seriously.

My prediction: These aren’t the tablets you’re looking for. Move along.

Snow Leopard

OK, sure it got a quick mention earlier in the keynote, but nothing about it will be shown until Bertrand Serlet’s afternoon session, which, as Gruber notes is under NDA. So it seems that the “no new end-user features” prediction was spot on. I would expect some new developer goodies, though.

My prediction: I didn’t give Snow Leopard a great chance of rearing its head today, so I was partially right and partially wrong. I was right in that Apple didn’t really spend any time on it during the keynote, but I was wrong because it does exist.

OS X for Windows boxes

All I’ll say is I would have loved to see the looks on people’s faces if Jobs did announce this today.

My prediction: As I said form the beginning, we probably won’t see this. And we didn’t.

10.5.4.

My guess is we’ll see this come out either to coincide with the iPhone 3G launch or MobileMe’s launch.

My prediction: I gave 10.5.4 a small chance of being mentioned, so I was mostly right on this one.

Mac Fusion

This rumor popped up late last night (by which point I had already written my WWDC predictions article), It seemed possible, considering we usually don’t see fakes unless it’s a rumor that has been circulating for a while and there’s a good chance Apple would announce it at some point. And at first glance, the photos seemed convincing. But at the same time, all I could think of is, well...why? What’s so special about this that warrants a separate Mac, considering every other Mac can do what Mac Fusion is capable of doing. So needless to say, we didn’t se it.

My prediction: Over on The Apple Blog, I noted that Mac Fusion could be real, but was probably just a well-done hoax. Sure enough.

So...?

I may not be alone when I say this was one of the most uneventful WWDC keynotes in a while. That doesn’t mean it was a bad keynote; after all, we did see some cool new features and products. But at the same time, there weren’t any surprises, nor anything particularly stunning. So a solid keynote, if somewhat unentertaining to non-programmers. The real fun starts Jully 11th.

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Absolutely absurd WWDC predictions

2008-06-07T07:01:01Z

All right, my predictions won’t be that absurd; I think I’ve filled my quota for absurdity for a while, thank you very much. But in the spirit of unending Apple speculation, and to kick off our WWDC coverage, here is yet another WWDC 08 predictions article. The likelihood of each rumor coming to fruition is measured in meatballs (in keeping with fixation on food¹); the fewer the meatballs, the less likely it is that Lord Steve, Controller of Apple, Our Destinies, and Lesser Kingdoms will unveil it.

And now it’s time for my most favorite disclaimer: the contents of this post are a figment of my own imagination. I have no insider sources, so these predictions, like Miss Cleo, are for entertainment purposes only.²

OS X for Windows boxes

As fun as it was for me to speculate, I don’t see this actually happening, and I never did for that matter. And I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that some people took what I said (read the article) as anything more than “cloning probably won’t happen, but if it did, this is how it could work.” At any rate, while the dropping of the word “Mac” from Mac OS X is interesting, and we can never entirely rule things out with Jobs, I don’t see a clone revival happening. I give this one half a meatball (out of five).

.mac rebranded to MobileMe/Me.com

The MobileMe name came up in rumors once before. Since a good portion of .mac features revolve around syncing data and connecting to other hardware remotely (Back to my Mac), extending it to the iPhone seems to be the next logical step. And since the iPhone goes beyond the Mac, a rebranding may be in order. This is how I see it working: “Me” or “Me.com” will be the umbrella name for the services known as .mac today. “MobileMe” will be a subset of the services targeted towards iPhone users. This may include Push IMAP email accounts, data syncing, and so on. Given the fact that this rumor makes total sense, and would be classic Apple in integrating everything, I give this one four out of five meatballs.

OS X iPhone 2.0

WWDC is a developer conference. Apple is pushing the iPhone as a new mobile development platform. Considering the fact that the OS X iPhone 2.0 update is due in June anyway, it would make perfect sense to launch it at WWDC. We should also see the App Store either at WWDC, or in the near future. We’ll definitely see some iPhone app demos. Five meatballs. OS X iPhone sucks as a name, though.

3G iPhone

Again, I think we’re looking at a near-certainty of seeing a 3G iPhone at WWDC. It would be a perfect tie-in with the iPhone OS update, especially since signs point at OS X iPhone 2.0 supporting 3G. So again, I give this one five meatballs. The question is, how will it look? I doubt we’ll see much in the way of major changes in appearance. Maybe it’ll be a little more streamlined, and maybe the headphone jack will no longer be recessed. And I definitely don’t think we’ll be seeing a larger version iPhone or a thin iPhone. Just...why?

Mac OS X Snow Leopard (10.6)

Uh, I’m not really sure to make of this one. It’d be really close to 10.5, though Apple has shipped new OS X releases within months of each other before. It wouldn’t be a very sexy update if the rumors of it being a bug fix/security release (though WWDC is a developer conference, not a consumer trade show). But it’s not totally out of the realm of possibility. The thing that gets me is that none of the banners we’ve seen give any hint to a new Mac OS X release being unveiled, unless Jobs has One More Thing up his sleeve. I’m going to err on the side of caution with this one and say two meatballs.

Mac OS X 10.5.4

This may get a brief mention, but it’s more likely that it would just be pushed out through Software Update. Two meatballs.

Mac tablet

Would someone please take this rumor out back and shoot it? Please? Put the friggin’ thing out of its misery already! Okay, so maybe one day we’ll see a Mac tablet, but not before OS X (the desktop OS, not the iPhone OS--stupid branding is going to cause confusion, I can see it now!) is better optimized for multitouch. Some areas suit multitouch well, while others don’t. And don’t mention a stylus. There’s no way I see Apple using a stylus. Also, a tablet release would be better suited for a consumer event, not a pro/developer event. So no tablet today. One meatball. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: these aren’t the tablet Macs you’re looking for. Move along.

Only a couple more days to go before we’ll get our dose of reality distortion! Anyway, I’d love to hear what you guys think. Am I totally off the mark? Or do I have some psychic ability to read Lord Jobs’ mind? Sound off in the comments.

¹An earlier example of me using food items for my rating scale.↩
²Except we won’t charge you $1.99 for the first minute and 99 cents for each additional minute.↩

Here’s some food for thought: feed your reader. Subscribe.

Fun with semantics: speculation versus rumors

2008-06-06T05:57:00Z

I have a couple of questions: When does speculation become a rumor? When is a rumor really speculation?

Here’s why I ask: yesterday afternoon I wrote up a piece for The Apple Blog regarding the photos of the banners hung in Moscone Center for next week’s WWDC. I noted John Gruber’s belief that dropping the “Mac” from Mac OS X is an attempt to unify the OS X brand (OS X iPhone and OS X Leopard), and I noted that “this is probably the simplest and most logical explanation.”

And then I jumped into speculative fun times: is Apple planning to license the Mac OS again? Considering the fact that rumors are pointing toward Apple turning .mac into something more platform-agnostic, and the fact that Apple has yet to do anything publicly in regards to Psystar, maker of the “Open Computer” Mac clone, as well as some other conjecture, I put this all together and raised some questions. Do I really think we’ll really see Apple jump into cloning again? I don’t think so. But you can never count anything out when it comes to Steve Jobs (see also: Apple switching to Intel—who saw that one coming?). So I offered my admittedly absurd speculation (said so in the article), and it somehow ended up on MacRumors.

Yes, that’s right. My article. On MacRumors, one of the biggest Mac sites out there. Excuse me while I pass out.

That’s the backstory. So I’ll ask again, when does speculation become rumor, and when is a rumor really speculation?

Let’s take a second and analyze what a rumor is, as it pertains to Apple. The Oxford American Dictionary¹ defines “rumor” as “a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth.” So insofar as Apple rumors go, a rumor could best be described as a story of what Apple is planning to do from a purported industry insider. This insider may present the rumor openly, like Kevin Rose when he ”leaked” details about the iPhone, but it usually comes from anonymous tipsters. Sometimes these tipsters are onto something, sometimes they’re totally off the mark. And sometimes, they take “spy shots” of purported new products in elevators. So to sum up, a rumor is a claim made by someone who says they know something you don’t.

That leads us to speculation. The dictionary definition of “speculation” is “[to] form a theory or conjecture about a subject without firm evidence.” So in the context of the Mac universe, this means taking the rumors and synthesizing them into a theory of what Apple is up to. Sometimes it seems totally possible, sometimes it seems totally off the wall. In regards to my speculation on Mac cloning returning, I think it falls somewhere in between. It’s not totally out of the realm of possibility given Apple’s track record of doing things nobody expects, but at the same time there are some holes in the theory (and as I said in my original article, it was some “absurd speculation” on my part).

So a rumor is not speculation, and speculation is not a rumor. The thing is, though, sometimes, some people conflate the two, and refer to any bit of speculation as a rumor. It’s especially embarrassing when media outlets make this mistake, and doubly so when they report a combination of speculation and rumors as fact.² Speculation should never, ever, be taken as anything more than that speculation, not as rumor. Because once a few people start calling a bit of speculation a “rumor,” it can build momentum as a “rumor,” and can lead to it actually being reported as a rumor. Speculation-passed-as-legitimate-rumor can lead to inflated expectations, which can be a bad thing. So the next time you see an article where the writer dives into speculating, consider the possibilities and have fun with it, but always remember that speculation is just that: speculation.

Hungry for something to read? Feed your newsreader!

¹Props to OS X’s Dictionary app.↩

²Of course in that case, Apple did eventually unveil a movie-downloading service, but rumors of that were around for long before the article I linked to surfaced.↩

This is why Macs aren’t right for business? You gotta be kidding me.

2008-06-01T07:01:00Z

One thing I hate is when people criticize for criticism’s sake. OK, we all do it—I do it from time to time—I won’t deny that. But if you need to do it, at least make it look like you tried to come up with some meaningful criticism. A couple days ago, Fortune Small Business posted an article entitled Why Macs still aren’t right for most businesses (via Gruber). Some of the points raised are perfectly valid, like some incompatibilities with VPN clients, but many are, well, downright absurd. Let’s dive in.

The article starts off well enough. Author Jonathan Blum discusses a small business that successfully switched to Macs, then states the following:

“My verdict? Though Apple computers can produce excellent results for small business, expect issues: Macs remain a niche product. Your transition from Windows will not be without bumps.”

OK, so far it’s not too far off point. Macs are a niche product in terms of their small overall share and the fact that Apple basically focuses on three markets: home, creative, and education--though that doesn’t make them unsuitable for business. And with any transition, there are going to be ~~bums~~ bumps¹ in the road.

But then the wheels fall off:

“No matter what you do with a Mac, you have to face Apple’s peculiar vision of all things computerish. First off, the packaging is seriously overdone: The slogan “Designed by Apple in California” posivitively shouts at you from the box. Like I care.”

Seriously? You’re criticizing this? Somehow Apple’s packaging makes the Mac less suitable for business use?

Like most business users will care what the box says.

“Once out of the box, the iMac is lovely; the keyboard in particular is my hands-down favorite. And the screen is an excellent value - although hardly the absolute best on the market, as Apple makes it out to be. But why should locating the “on” switch be such a struggle? Just stick the thing where I, and my employees, can find it: right up front.”

Again, this is your criticism? The location of the power switch?

“But - as ever, with Apple boxes - there were not enough USB ports. I was forced to dump my USB hard drive in favor of an Ethernet enablement unit.”

I can understand needing more USB ports, but that’s where USB hubs come in. You can buy one at any electronics store, and they’re really quite affordable. And since what counts as “enough” USB ports is totally subjective, this hardly counts as a reason to not consider a Mac for business. Again, convince me that the Mac might not be right for my small business. You’re 0-for-3 so far.

And what on Earth is an “Ethernet enablement unit”?

“Then came the software issues. We found that Citrix’s (CTXS) GoToMyPC, my shop’s VPN (virtual private network) tool, was unstable on our iMac. Our Web-based backup service, Mozy, did not support Mac solutions when I started testing, but has since released an upgrade.”

Finally, something relevant!

But then…

“Offsetting all this speed are some curious features clearly not aimed at the average small business. The desktop is divided into quadrants that extend beyond the screen’s edge. Only with some complex keyboard commands can I slide from one to another.”

Uhm, Spaces is a power-user tool. Oh, and it’s off by default for this very reason. In other words, most users likely will never ever see it. This is hardly a reason to criticize Mac OS X. How does Spaces make the Mac less capable for business?

“All the goofy Apple-centric commands leave PC-trained users constantly fighting to parse out what the control, option and command keys do.”

It’s no different than a Mac user trying to learn Windows shortcuts. And Mac OS X’s keyboard shortcuts are no more goofy than Windows’ keyboard shortcuts.

Again—do I need to repeat it?

“Apple devotees swear by the touch-sensitive shell of the ‘Mighty Mouse,’ but its top left- and right-click buttons still look an awful lot like just one.”

Judging by the mediocre-at -best reviews from users on Apple’s own online store, I don’t think “swear by” is the right choice of words to describe the prevailing attitude toward the Mighty Mouse. Jonathan, buddy, just because Mac users love the Mac doesn’t mean they love everything about it. And feel free to replace it with the USB mouse of your choosing.

And again, I should think twice about the Mac because of the mouse it comes with that can be easily replaced? Seriously, a little critical thinking goes a long way.

“The real eye-rolling winner is Time Machine, quite possibly the silliest operating system extension in history. Must I really sit through a full round of special effects - the desktop slides away to reveal some mysterious star in full supernova disappearing into infinity behind my various backups - just to find a what I said to a client in a lost e-mail? Honestly.”

Silly as it may be, remember what the core audience for Time Machine is: average users who have never touched backup software before, and probably never would if not for Time Machine. If that’s the goal, Apple better make something as unglamorous as backup interesting to average users.

It’s not that I entirely blame the writer; after all, it can be difficult to come up with something when you’re on deadline and need to come up with 500 words by 5 PM. As a freelance writer and editor, I know the feeling. But at the same time, criticizing the packaging, the number of USB ports, the power button’s location, etc..., in an article explaining why the Mac isn’t ready for most businesses is a bit of a reach. There’s an article to be had here. This sure as hell isn’t it.

¹There may be a few bums too. ↩

Teens banned from Apple Store after jailbreaking iPhone

2008-06-01T00:28:00Z

Four Palo Alto, California teens claim they were banned from the Apple Store after jailbreaking an iPhone on display, according to an article in the Palo Alto Daily News. Here’s the gist of how it went down: Three friends were waiting for a fourth friend, so they decided to wait at the Apple Store on University Ave. in Palo Alto. while there, they jailbroke a display iPhone, downloaded a game, and started playing it. The fourth friend shows up, and after a few minutes, the four of them leave the store. While walking away from the store, the manager and a security guard called them back in and held them for two and a half hours. The manager purportedly took their photographs to send to other Apple Stores — think of “Wanted” posters — and told them they would be banned from the Apple Store.

OK, I know what you’re thinking; is this for real? After all, Apple denied banning the four. My gut feeling is yes, or at the very least, it was the product of a gross misunderstanding. One of the four is Eric Vicenti, a former writer with us here at Deep Thought. While Eric wasn’t with us for much more than a few months, he always came across as very honest. And I think the manager overreacted. Jailbreaking an iPhone at the Apple Store? Probably not a great idea. But anything more than a warning to me seems like overkill. Anyway, that’s my take on it. What say you? Leave a comment!

Saying Is Believing

2008-05-05T07:01:00Z

About a year ago, I wrote an article here on DT analyzing the high-def DVD war and predicting an eventual win for Blu-ray. Despite the fact that I was completely and totally correct, I am not here to brag (although I won’t pass up the opportunity, either). In the course of that article, I poked some fun at the world of technology analysts:

So, here’s the part where I play “tech analyst,” which is to say that I will make something up and present it to you as fact. I will even put it into blurb form so that newspapers can use it and quote me as an expert.

Ironically, it seems that this has worked far better than I had imagined. For reasons I won’t get into, I was recently visiting the online directory site ZoomInfo. While I was there, I decided to have a little fun and search for my own name, just to see what might come up. Among the accurate results was this tidbit:

Now, to be fair, they use some kind of automatic crawler bot to aggregate a lot of their information, which appears to pretty much take at face value anything it is told.¹ I agree that this is a good idea, as we all know that the Internet contains only 100% truth.² I hereby heartily endorse ZoomInfo as a fine purveyor of factual information, and look forward to seeing my new title “James Viviani, President of the United States.”

¹Much like Tom Cruise.↩

²I prefer the “pulp-free” kind, but I understand you can also get it with a splash of various other juices.↩

NY Times: Microsoft walks away from Yahoo bid

2008-05-03T23:59:00Z

Well, there you go.

The New York Times reports that after months of wrangling, Microsoft has walked away from its attempt to purchase Yahoo.¹ The reason? Microsoft and Yahoo couldn’t come to terms on a price, so instead of launching a long and difficult proxy fight, Microsoft decided to give up on its takeover bid. You can read the details here.

Personally I think this was a good idea on Microsoft’s part. For one, the Yahoo takeover was becoming a bit of a distraction at a time when Microsoft has larger fish to fry (like convincing the world that Windows Vista doesn’t suck). For another, I still have a hard time how a Microsoft-Yahoo merger makes sense. Sure, Yahoo’s more popular than MSN and Windows Live, but Yahoo is still far, far behind Google, and with some exceptions, hasn’t been particularly innovative in recent years. What Microsoft needs is innovation to keep up with Google. Yahoo wouldn’t have brought it. And then you have the messy issue of trying to blend the two companies. Will it blend? Probably not. My guess is that Yahoo would have survived as a Microsoft subsidiary.

Where do Yahoo and Microsoft go from here? In the months since Microsoft made its initial bid, there have been rumors of Yahoo forming an alliance with another company (News Corp. and AOL). Meanwhile, Microsoft has to find some way to compete with Google being that it looks like which OS you use is becoming less important, giving people an excuse to look at Mac OS X and Linux. Could we see a Microsoft-Yahoo partnership of some sort in the near future?

What do you think? Leave a comment!

¹You were right, Anthony. ↩

Spam turns 30; Internet not happy

2008-05-03T18:50:00Z

THE INTERNET- Spam today announced that it has been 30 years since its first use, when it was first sent on the ARPANET on May 3rd, 1978. Since then, it has maintained a standard of excellence in annoyance of anyone who dares to set foot on the World Wide Web. Though not called spam until 15 years after that historic event, Spam was an insult and a nuisance even on its first day of life.

“LOSE 10 POUNDS IN 2 WEEKS!!! VIAGRA IN STOCK 40% OFF NOW!!! I’M 30 YEARS OLD TODAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! FREE ANTIVIRUS SCAN U ARE INFECTED!!!” Spam announced today, to thunderous dissent. Though the first use of spam was email, it has since spread to many other communication methods, such as instant messaging, blog comments, and even the telephone.

One humble spammer, who gave his name as Geoff Kennedy, was available for comment. “V|aggra 50mg x 60 pi1ls = $ 89.95,” he told Deep Thought. He then added, “Have liver problems; have kidney problems; have ever had blood cell problems such as sickle cell anemia, multiple myeloma, or leukemia,” a statement which had us somewhat puzzled. The man concluded by stating that, “Via-gra 1.41 per p!ll best 0n-line dr.ugstore in the internet,” and resumed his work. I then threw an empty soda cup at him.

Yes, of the many uses of the internet to have been realized so far, spam has remained one that can stand the test of time, much to the chagrin of everyone on the internet. Happy damn birthday, Spam; we don’t look forward to 30 more.

San Francisco Chronicle: A very unhappy birthday to spam, age 30
Deep Thought: Spam poetry