The big day is near

Yeah right, a few months seems very close to me. Can’t really blame on myself though, I was brainwash with the finance and the spending for the big day. Anyhow, I started to let go and slow down on this. Like how my mother always did. Relax, take a deep breath, forget it for a moment until time is near, since everything is well planned now.

Stress on working environment

A little speechless here. I don’t know how do I get into this office at the first place. Nor why did I ever thought about working Well, working here beneficial me on learning more about web world (though it is not learn in the office). Then I know how the procedure, and the rest, if not stress I don’t know what is. Got lots of rant in office but I keep it away from thinking or even mention about it as much as I can

Jumping in between making me no time

I have to say, I’m a workaholic. But then again, that is not exactly what I’m looking for. I also want to have fun from time to time. By placing myself on both side of the working environment, my constipation become normal routine. Well, hopefully it stop after this month The stress shall go away as soon as I step outside of Cyberjaya.

Local Politic, News that I shouldn’t have join into

I don’t know when I started to be so concern about local politic scene and news. I keep an eye on them all the time, and those news are mostly bad one. As a citizen of Malaysia, I only hope the best from any parties.

Done my blogging today I guess I’m too much into a blogger. Once I blog, I’ll blog 3 Soon it’s going to be more and more. Well, the most fucked up thing happen today was that I slept once I get back home and thought it was 5.00am just now, I woke up and wash my face, look closely, it was just 12.30am. Dammit!

But not long after that, due to some reason, my world was being flipped around and thing goes against me. Started with my phone’s credit which is not even enough to send sms locally, supposed to be reloaded this afternoon but mum forgot. It is enough to make me like a handicapped and disconnected with the world.

Followed by the lousy internet connection of the mobile phone. I have subscribed to weekly package hence I am still able to online with phone although the credit is dying, cause it’s been deducted on the first place. But the line was so bad I can’t even load my gmail.

Next to that was the raising price of flight ticket and a pretty sarcastic sms + email from someone that I least expected will say such thing. I was angry, very angry and disappointed. Not only because my dream was being pulled down but also because that someone prefer to ‘take a rest’ or rather avoiding to talk to me first – find solution together, and go to look for friend. It’s like.. where is the communication?

And, the words.. why only say it now and not weeks or months ago? It’s always like this. Walk down the road half way with me and suddenly says,”I don’t think I can walk through this road anymore. It’s a huge mistake. We shouldn’t be choosing this road cause it’s yadayada, we should choose that road instead cause yadayada.” And there we go, walk back to the start line and walking through the new mention road.

After thinking, I draw a conclusion that it was a result of tired and stress, which also cause a mistake in booking the flight. I can only blame the distance and the less-communication plus un-effective communication tool. F*ck email, sms, chatting, or whatever related to words cause it doesn’t contain emotion. You need to at least have a talk, hear the voice, the tone, understanding the language, until you have the time for a physical meet-up. And having a voice call while your auntie, brother, family is around is not the best idea ever.

Thing is just not well-plan and well-said to each other. I am just pity that the words is being said now. Thing can be fixed, plan can go like normal base on a budget, at least I believe that. So, why freak out so fast and run to others instead of me?

For now, I just feel a slightly dejavu of Carrie Bradshaw’s situation in Sex and the City movie. Clueless. I might as well not plan anything or start any new chapter in life.

Anyway, I just submitted my resignation letter. The manager then asked me for some questioning session. Gave me some questions, wanting me to stay. I wonder why? I did not perform as well as I can be. Nothing on me you can take anyway, beside, a guy sitting in the office doing mostly nothing and even if I did something, it wouldn’t be as nice as expected. So why bother? I was asked to go home and think again, I have enough thinking to make this decision.

So, I’m going to be back to basic me. No study, no work soon, probably next month Back to holidays! Well, not exactly, need to fly a few round back home… $$$

1. Finance support
2. Procedure unknown
3. Things to buy
4. Waiting

Somehow, I still felt exciting and happy with spending money. Nuts I am, shut up you are.

I have been thinking about going full time on my own, but it just not quite working right now. Since we still have time, I think I need to do a more thorough planning on this one. She told me that we do not have any commitment at the moment, so we can go wild and achieve our dream. Well, that is what all people said “Achieve your dream when you’re still young.” But this is one hell of a big commitment I’m going to make.

Anyway, on a lighter note. I am Windows-free now

I do a lot of coding nowadays, too much of coding and reading about designing Well, I got a Macbook with me now, so designing on a better platform and code in a better platform too. I seems like a perfectionist Only 2 things make me complete Windows-free are: 1, I have a Macbook now. Basically I get everything I need as in a Windows. 2, Windows 7 coming out soon and the price is freaking sky high! Hate it when they tend to think all consumer are idiots!

Yes, I will get everything ready for you if you’re doubting

I have no intention of using it (yet). Still very comfortable with Google search engine. But from my blogs’ stat, there is quite a number of search coming from Bing. So, I suppose this search engine will last? Let’s see.

First of all, I do not mind working late. That does not apply if I have things to rush at home (freelance). I am all alone, doesn’t matter what time I came back it is still fine for me, as long as I get to sleep before midnight or early morning. I am good with working late. However, one of my colleague who car pool with me everyday mind about working late night. So limitation needed, I give a way he give a way, so we both still happily car pool everyday Just to say, I am not rushing home every night, but tonight YES, due to some unfinish work I left last night because of the Internet problem.

Working late night is actually like, having sometimes in office surfing the Internet. From reading online design magazine to updating local and international news. Both are beneficial to me, so I like doing so. I’ve never spend my time at home reading those thing, but in office, that’s what going to motivate me at home. I get all sort of web knowledge at office and applied it at my freelance job

This weekend, I have a plan. I have a plan to… Go to work on Sunday. Doing my own work in the office with all the resources paid by the office. To see and to feel how it felt like to stay back all alone

On another side, I am having more interest in customizing the Wordpress theme. The poem a.k.a code is… troublesome but fun. What makes it so much interesting is.. when I type-type a few lines and the design slowly appear on screen, like what it is in psd. Damn nice la the feeling.

But.. I don’t wanna be a geeky girl. Somebody save me from this ‘evil’ circle please.

Full time web designer

The office is not as busy as I thought it was at first. But then, the environment is pressuring a lot. From the way people talks, the manager stalking me from my back, and the senior that giving some face from time to time. So in office I get pressure a lot, for being too free or too busy. Well, at least every month I got a good paycheck

Part time contracted web developer

This work come from time to time. I get to be very free at a time and so busy that I must sacrify my sleeping hour for this. The best thing was I am able to work at home and schedule my own time… Until the work load comes Quater of my current full time web designer job. Well, at least it can feed me for a whole month without a problem

Freelance web designer

This, so far the best job I have. It is all because my working speed that helps Comparing to part time, the work load is less I cannot say the income is stable at the moment, but every month I can get more or less the same with my full time job

So from all source of income I have here, I separated them accordingly for saving, expenses and emergency One thing I am worry about though… Since all my job require me to sit in front of computer… Where’s my social life?