The Cunt Says

If Animals Had Sex With Other Species Than Their Own

2009-10-05T07:49:00.001-04:00

Ever imagine what monstrosities will come to be if certain species bred with other species?

Look no further! I have the pics for you LOL

Pretty butterfleel!

This species should never ever come to be!

LOL If I saw this I would just laugh! Can his fish head survive on land?

I would be too scared to pet it. It looks too spiky! LOL

LMAO!

I would never own these hideous things!

Weird Vintage 10

2009-10-02T11:31:00.000-04:00

Maybe alcohol and fighting in a war aren't the best combination!

Who wouldn't want a squirrel lamp. That's why once I capture Nutsy I will make him into a lamp!(click link if you want to learn more about Nutsy http://duckie2318.blogspot.com/2009/07/that-so-nutsy.html )

She didn't burn the beer but she is still going to get a beat down for burning dinner.

LOL! A really funny Public Service Announcement ad published in the 50's era. LMAO

An ad that promoted using Opium to inject yourself to treat ailments. Obviously, this was before they made a law prohibiting intravenous opium.

Haha! This poor kid. I would hate to have my picture with me sporting a diaper or as the ad calls them StayDry panties!!!

What The Fuck Does That Say?! Picture 8

2009-10-01T10:12:00.000-04:00

Because eating your underwear will allure people to think you are sober and definitely not drunk!

Oh it was just arsenic. Nothing to fear.....

Wow! Mistress of the Universe! Do you have sex with the world or everyone in it?

LOL! Now that is just mean!

Nothing screams an appropriate prize to a child than a gun!

Either someone is stealing birthday cards or this woman is an old senile biddy!

Weird Product 11

2009-10-01T09:01:00.000-04:00

Ever wanted to be like McGuyver?

Ever been in a situation where a paper clip was needed to escape an explosion or to attack villains?

Ever needed a paperclip to construct an Army tank made of paper clips, rubber bands and used coffee cups?

NO NEED TO FEAR!!! The McGuyver kit is here!

Now you can carry this device with you which will allow you to stealthily maneuver out of any tough situations!

PS: A regular paper clip won't work! It must be a McGuyver kit!!

This Week's WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 11

2009-09-29T08:14:00.003-04:00

This sexy thing is called the Rosy-Lipped Batfish. Those lips look familiar! Oh yeah! They are! Those are the same lips that inspired many young starlets to get plastic surgery after.

Don't those lips look so inviting. Pucker up (I don't mean your lips either. I meant your asshole!)

If Evolution Went Apeshit Crazy. Yes APESHIT!

2009-09-28T10:22:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what would happened if certain animals bred with another species.

Look no further. I have some pictures for your eyeballs to molest.

Aww look at this Tigeape! Nothing says cool than a tiger's head on a ape's body LOL

If I ever saw this flying at me...Iwould probably run away faster than Jesus on water!

This guy looks mean yet very patriotric.

Aww! Nothing says cute than fangs and slime

Fuck Unicorns. This horsewhale is cooler!

OMG! So cute...imagine a cute baby lionangaroo sticking out from the pouch!

Weird Vintage Ads 9

2009-09-24T12:13:00.000-04:00

Another fabulous week of Vintage Ads! Enjoy, cunties!

LOL! Exactly! You never know when you are gonna die so go on...go on...have a fag today!

They use to use Coca Wine (cocaine laced wine) to treaat fatigue. Well obviously if you are drinking cocaine you will no longer be fatigue...lol

MMM using chloroform for as cough syrup.

Look at these kids going crazy for Ayer's Pectoral. It's liquid heroin for kids. Their faces alone shows you how high they are LOL

Want to cure Asthma? Smoke an Asthma cigarette. It will do the trick!

Hahah No words for this one!

What The Fuck Does That Say?! Picture 7

2009-09-24T06:35:00.004-04:00

People can be so stupid and the below pictures only highlight that fact!

LOL! Wow! I never knew that a millionare is someone with a million dollars. Thank you for clarifying!

Please explain how a coin can look suspicious!

Hmm...I think I'll get the latter is cheaper.

Damn! No wonder all those fish died when I had them in a cage.

Haha! That sucks for the person who was charged with this. I would be pissed off if a newspaper said I was being charged for prostitution when I was only charged with failure to stop at a railroad crossing!

HAHA! Well, the police man was either smart to call out, "Marco" or stupid thinking he was really in the water sports game. Either or, the criminal was even dumber for even responding, "Polo"

Weird Product 10

2009-09-23T06:25:00.000-04:00

Ever take a shit and thought to yourself, "Hmm, I wonder if I can use those playdoh molds on my shit to make my poops fun" well, look no further!

Introducing Poop-Time fun shapes. Just place the fun shape over your asshole....pinch out a fat loaf...and voila! You will get a fun shaped poop.

Comes in heart and stars.

Get your poop on!

WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 10

2009-09-22T07:59:00.002-04:00

No this isn't a glop of peanut butter or a vagina up close. This is the Wrinkle-face bat. LOL Whoever thought of the name for this bat was so highly creative.

If I was going to name this bat species, I would call it globbiclitori.

Now that sounds scientific!

Playing God With Animal Body Parts

2009-09-21T19:39:00.004-04:00

If you have seen Napoleon Dynamite, then you know what a liger is. If you don't know what a liger is...it is an actual hybrid animal that is a cross between, you guessed it, a tiger and a lion.

Ever wonder what other "hybrid" animals we can create?

This is what I assume a Lolar Bear is...Yes a Lion crossed with a polar bear. Behold its beauty LOL

Eek...a cobraptile. LOL

So if I shot this bird would I be considered lucky since it has a bunny head if I keep the feet afterwards...its not like its a true lucky bunny foot...maybe it will be considered a good luck talon lol

It's two meals in one. You can have veal and bunny stew!

Nothing says patriotic than owning an eagle dog. LOL

What The Fuck Does That Say?! Picture 6

2009-09-20T11:36:00.003-04:00

Here are some headlines that make you so confused that you want to smack your own mama's tits together.

ROFL!! I feel like this man was the one on shrooms and hallucinated everything lol

I don't know what kind of person would want 52 tubes of vaginal anti-fungal cream but if I was the employee, I would've either died laughing or I would've been concern for that poor girl who needs all that cream.

OMG! That was my chicken pot pie.

No, kitty! This is my pot pie!

Kitty: Hiss.

Mom, kitty's being a dildo!

Mom: Well then, I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.

What?

Thank You! Thank You! That was my monologue. For those who do not recognize the previous dramatic scene from my monologue, it is a scene from South Park with a conversation between Cartman and his mother. I chose to do this scene as my monologue due to the theatrical performance Cartman displayed about his chicken pot pie!

That duck is stupid! Now because the duck refused medical treatment it will be hard now to file a claim. LOL

Man, there has been so many times that I wanted to punch the cunt in the mirror...I still do. She always copies what I'm doing too!

Wow! With a deal like that, why wouldn't I call! Hello people! It's only 8 days old!

Weird Product 9

2009-09-16T07:35:00.000-04:00

Since a lot of Japanese girls have small ta tas, I guess that is why they needed a reason to make fake nipples.

Yes, putting on this product will give the allusion that you have hard nipples.

This is the best product to get if you happen to be a freak born without nipples!

This Week's WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 9

2009-09-15T12:28:00.002-04:00

WTF is this shit?! Don't stare straight into its eye! I heard it can devour souls through its one eye!

This looks like what would plop out of your mother's cunt if she had sex and got preggers from a wild boar!

Toys To Snuggle Up To

2009-09-14T13:46:00.005-04:00

Welcome To The Cunt Says!

Let's look at some cute toys that kids would want to snuggle up to at night.

What kid wouldn't want this dead duck sleeping next to them?

Hurry! Get this dead cat stuffed animal toy today! It's the new popular toy for kids of all ages!

Aww! It's like Winnie The Pooh but hungrier! So cute!

What a little cutie! I want to snuggle with this cutester tonight!

What an adorable little...umm....thing!

Aww! It looks like Nutsy's mutated cousin! Don't know who Nutsy is? Click on link http://duckie2318.blogspot.com/2009/07/that-so-nutsy.html

Who wouldn't want their stuffed animals to have actual human teeth? I prefer it!

Any of this toys are better than Chucky!

Weird Vintage Ads 8

2009-09-12T10:18:00.005-04:00

Haha! Welcome to this week's Vintage Ads.

Obviously, the first ad is a fake! LOL But it would be funny to know that it was an actual vintage ad. LOL Although, I do agree with growing and smoking your own. Hopefully, soon I will have those capabilities.

But now divert your eyes to actual vintage ads. The ad below is an actual brand of toothache remedies using cocaine. It's only 15 cents and is an instant cure. LOL Well, duh, of course, it would be an instant cure. You are putting coke on your gums LOL

Oh so because a doctor says its healthy than smoking is okay? So if a doctor says unprotected orgies fueled by intravenous drugs and shared needles would be healthy if he says it's okay? LOL

A totally sexist ad! OMG LOL

Why is there a guy with a golf club around that cats. Isn't this ad promoting cat food? The guy and the golf equipment seem so out of place LOL. Also, doesn't he look like he wants to hit them witht he club?

This is horrible. Back in the day they had actual book burning mobiles. Who knew books were so evil. LOL They burned books such as J. D Salinger's Catcher In The Rye . Those up tight fucks. This boy looks so innocent but with evil intent. lol

Puff Puff Pass Bitch!

2009-09-10T07:13:00.009-04:00

These days everyone is smoking weed.

Cannabis use is even trickling down to the animal kingdom. Everyone is toking up!

So spark a blunt, joint or take some hits from your bong, pipe, or hookah and lets look at some awesome smoking devices people use.

Don't forget to puff puff pass! People get shot for breaking the rotation!

Mr. Flopsy is even getting down with the old ganja! This bong was specifically made for Mr. Flopsy.

Having a party of four? No problem just pack and hit. Enjoyable for all.

Want to get high and strum out some tunes. Now you can with the Weed Guitar lol

I heard of Cheech and Chong joints but this is ridic! Puff Puff! Smoke to the head! Smoke it to the head! lol

Ever want to take an intergalactic trip with weed? Now you can make your alien friends feel at home once you pack this bong with some Martian grass. You will be known as the Midnight Toker of Space!

Do you have nerdy friends who only talk about Star Wars? Do not fear. Now you can get them out of their nerdy ways by having them toke out of Yoda!

For those who want to get high and have a penis in their mouth, this bong is for you!

Remember those old nostalgic days full of Nintendo? Don't you wish you can use your Nintendo and have hours of fun like you did when you were young? Now you can with the Nintendo bong!

Nothing says pure friendship than smoking out of this with your three closest pals lol

Do you have a bunch of legos and wonder to yourself, "What the fuck can I make with legos?" Well, now you can gather your legos and create a bong that will keep you entertained for hours!

Instead of carving or smashing pumpkins, you can create a delightful bong for the fall season!

I wonder if they ever made a Otto Bong. If not then they should! Otto the Bus Driver is definitely a character from The Simpsons that smokes LOL Or imagine smoking out of Ralph Wiggum's head LOL

Hey! They didn't create the song Puff The Magic Dragon for no reason!

Do you love fish? Do you love making fish and yourself high? Do you have a lot of money to spend? If you said yes to the above then this Aquaribong is the right bong for you! This is how Aquaman smokes weed!

Weird Product 8

2009-09-09T07:02:00.001-04:00

Now why the hell would you want your toilets to be faced in this manner? Is it so you can have sensible yet deep conversations about life while you take a shit? LOL

I can just imagine two couples holding hands while grunting trying to pinch out a fat loaf!

This Week's WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 8

2009-09-08T07:34:00.000-04:00

Aww! I kinda feel bad for this elephant. You know his ass isn't going to be able to ski...he is an elephant! LOL I feel bad but it is hilarious to see. Imagine if he started water skiing and did jump tricks as well LOL

But then again what do I know..I mean these people look like crazy crackheads to me but they probably are a sweet couple who donates to charities. LOL

That's A Huge Bitch!

2009-09-07T08:03:00.000-04:00

The title suggest that I was going to blog about your mother but actually I am referring to the huge fucking fish pictures below!

Damn! Now imagine trying to scale and cook that fish! This fish is called Giant barb.

If I saw this thing in the water, I would just poop right on the spot! Yep, just poop. I would be so scared that it would be possible. LOL This is the Giant freshwater stingray.

This fish called Nile perch is huge! I kinda feel bad for it though. LOL Those kids look like they are having fun causing this fish misery but then again...who cares...fish don' have feelings!

This is called the Alligator gar. What's with its nose LOL

This is the Wels catfish and its not your normal tank size aquarium catfish. This shit is a huge bitch!

LOL This is the Mississippi paddlefish. Its scary yet funny at the same time...like having sex with your mom!

Why would you want to have this gigantic Mekong giant catfish on their boat. What if it still was alive and start to flip around. Now that would suck! lol

This is the Taimen, a giant member of the salmon family. Fuck that! I would never hold a fish that huge...eww...imagine the stench of your hands....probably would smell like fisting a fat sweaty bitch in August!

Weird Vintage Ads 7

2009-09-04T07:47:00.001-04:00

Another Friday....Another Week Of Vintage Ads.

Enjoy!

This ad is promoting the use of tape worms to get rid of fat! Tapeworms!

LOL He suffers from Gingeritis. This kid looks soo creepy! I bet this was Ronald McDonald when he was younger and with no makeup lol Want to learn more about the life story of Ronald McDonald? Then click on the link ( http://duckie2318.blogspot.com/2009/08/life-story-of-ronald-mcdonald.html )

Talk about full blown sexism! LOL

Girl, you are desperate which is why he is running to Marsha's arms. Also, if you weren't such a crazy bitch then he wouldn't be running to Marsha! LOL Marsha....Marsha...Marsha!! LOL

What The Fuck Does That Say?! Picture 5

2009-09-03T07:47:00.002-04:00

LOL Now this is a vehicle I want to purchase! I mean, hello, it does say it only rolled once in the ad!! It's all good!

This is why you don't copy things from movies! This guy really tried to copy the scene from Amercian Pie...you know that scene where he sticks his peener in the pie! I am glad he burned himself that perv! LOL The newspaper article is hilarious especially the second paragraph!

I know this was probably a very tragic thing to happen to the members of this poor fellow's family members but it is pretty fucking hilarious. I mean, c'mon, he was eaten....by a hippo!! Just too much for me to handle! LOL

Wow! Talk about full blown lazy! These crew workers paved over a dead deer instead of moving it! Paved over a dear!! LOL Was it that big of deer that they couldn't handle the task of moving it? Was the deer that severely decomposed where the workers couldn't move it?

OMG!! How is that fun and lovable! I guess because I am a cat lover (but a rabbit hater for mutiple horrendous experiences with rabbits...one was seeing my rabbits eating their own babies and having a threesome..but anyways!!!..) I don't find this dog something I would enjoy to own..but did they really have to advertise how it likes to eat live rabbits and kittens...NOT KITTENS...aww...lol

Weird Product 7

2009-09-02T07:43:00.003-04:00

I wouldn't want any type of pudding whether it is spongey or richly smooth that is called Spotted Dick.

This jar looks like a specimen that was taken from the VD Section of a hospital. LOL

Eww...spotted dick...

PS: It's even microwavable *shivers in disgust*

This Week's WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 7

2009-09-01T08:23:00.004-04:00

No, this isn't your typical zombiefish.

No, this isn't parasites found in your genitals.

It's an Angler fish. It's those mean creatures you see in the movie, Nemo. LOL

This thing is ugly and weird...hey kinda like your mom's puss!

Going Green

2009-08-31T20:24:00.004-04:00

Everyone is going green which is an amazing thing. I urge more people to go green but I think some people take it too far. Here are a few examples of people who take going green to the next level.

Now this is going too green...I know we are trying to save electricity and such but damn how the fuck do you see in a dark room with this "light bulb" lol

Imagine if the vines of this chair crawled up inside your anus...do you think it would hurt or be fun?

Now you can knock a bitch out via "green" style!

"Fee Fi Fo Fum!" says the Giant in the Beanstalk..err...I mean the towel

Is this really necessary? The necklace will be dead in a few days so why bother buying this?

Can you see yourself being wheeled around in this?

Nothing says classic than skeleton leaves.

Do they pay someont to water this one area in the parking lot?

A "green" way to travel. Fuck hybrid cars! Grass O Wheel is the way to travel!

Umm...Is this sanitary? Do they use a shrub rather than soap?

How comfy can these really be? Also, what happens when they die? You can't possibly wear them without getting a dry scratchy feeling. Thisis going too green LOL