The Duffel Blog

Marine Unit Forced Back From Sea Deployment After Encountering Biological Weapon

Epic Blunder — Thu, 23 May 2013 11:00:42 +0000

USS MOULIN ROUGE (LHD-9) — The 15th Marine Expeditionary Unit is being forced to return two months early from its deployment to the western Pacific after suffering the highest percentage of non-combat related casualties in American history, officials reported Monday. With 93 percent of Marines bedridden and unfit for duty, the MEU was recalled after being deemed combat [...]

Sailor Runs World Record 1.5 Mile, Fails Pushup Portion of Fitness Test

NavyFork — Wed, 22 May 2013 11:00:57 +0000

PENSACOLA, FL — A U.S. Navy Sailor who smashed through the world record for the 1.5 mile run Tuesday is being discharged from the military for failing to maintain physical fitness standards, officials said. His run record was one part of a bi-annual fitness exam mandated by the Navy called the Physical Readiness Test (PRT). With [...]

Opinion: The Army Gave Me Drugs And It Was The Best Day Of My Life

ArmyJ — Tue, 21 May 2013 11:00:05 +0000

So I had surgery this week. Nothing crazy, but enough to put me on some serious medication for a while. Let me tell you, greatest day of my life man. I fucking love the Army. These big old pills for pain, then some others to help me sleep well. I guess those are for when [...]

Navy Officer In Hot Water For Sorority-Like Email Tirade He Sent To Shipmembers

Jack Mandaville — Mon, 20 May 2013 11:00:55 +0000

SAN DIEGO, CA – The executive-officer of one of the Navy’s esteemed Wasp class ships, the USS Boxer, has recently come under criticism because of a ranting email he sent off to ship members last month. Cdr. Jerry Dominick, who is currently underway with the ship and its crew, is having to stave off questions from top Navy [...]

Rage Against The Machine’s USO Concert Convinces Entire Audience To Defect

drew — Sun, 19 May 2013 11:00:49 +0000

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — A Rage Against the Machine USO reunion tour took an unexpected turn Sunday after the entire audience defected and swore allegiance to the Taliban, sources reported. Opening with their hit “Wake Up” to cheers from the audience, the song later reached the final verse, with the lyrics: “Through counter-intelligence it should be [...]

Sailors Tweeting Navy’s $130 Million Version Of Twitter ‘Sux Ballz’

Ted Heller — Sat, 18 May 2013 19:00:25 +0000

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Thousands of Sailors beta testing the Navy’s new, $130 million attempt at a digitally secure version of Twitter have been tweeting that the app apparently “sux ballz.” Dubbed Scuttlebutt!, the Navy/Marine Corps Intranet’s (NMCI) new site has been receiving non-stop criticism on Twitter from the very Sailors whom the sea service has been hoping to attract since launching its own microblogging application in [...]