The Dumbass Daily: News From the Shallow End of the Gene Pool

Cleveland Man Ticketed for Dropping Dollar Bill on Ground He Was Trying to Give Homeless Person

2012-05-24T07:17:00.001-04:00

You just can't catch a break these days, can you? Maybe to get out of the ticket, this guy needed to drop a $20 bill at the officers feet? Last Monday, May 14th John Davis was exiting I-90 at the West 117th ramp when he saw a man in a wheelchair. The man was pale, thin and holding a sign that had a religious sentiment and also a request for help. John thought to himself, “I think we’re all to

Berkeley Police Chief Under Fire for Sending 10 Officers to Find Son's Missing Cell Phone - Michael Meehan

2012-05-24T07:13:00.001-04:00

You can get a new one for what, like $200 bucks? How much does it cost to sent ten cops out looking for it?Dumbass!Berkeley Police Chief Michael Meehan, already under fire for sending an officer to a reporter's house after midnight, ordered police - some on overtime - to look for his teenage son's stolen cell phone in Oakland, authorities said Monday.Officers did not file a police report about

State Workers Caught on Video Having Sex in Vacant Nashville Office

2012-05-24T06:59:00.001-04:00

Who knew government employees were so naughty?A Channel 4 I-Team investigation found two top directors and two female clerical workers in the state Department of Human Services were fired for having sexual relations on a vacant floor of a state office building. Investigative files obtained through an open records request show the state used surveillance cameras and recorded conversations to

Drunk British Business Woman Arrested in Dubai for Having Sex in Back of Taxi - Rebecca Blake

2012-05-22T06:54:00.001-04:00

Two things to note here: in Islamic countries, alcohol is usually forbidden and sex between two unmarried adults--especially in the back seat of a cab--is against the law. To do both in broad daylight is just asking for trouble. On the other hand, when you day starts out with an "all-you-can-drink" event at a place called the Irish Village Hotel bar, you gotta figure something like this might

Teachers Union Boss Allegedly Had Affair With Guidance Counselor in Wood Shop - Mike Mulgrew

2012-05-21T07:36:00.001-04:00

Boys and girls: sometimes two members of the powerful United Federation of Teachers union fall in love and hump each other on a drafting table in the wood shop. When that hppanes, three years later a full blown lawsuit is born and all the New York tabloids are happy.In this case, it's a lawsuit against a former New York City teacher and now head of thre UFT, Mile Mulgrew, who's accused of having

Woman Holds Streetside "X-Husband Sale", Puts All of Former Hubby's Things Out for "Free"

2012-05-18T07:51:00.001-04:00

Oh, and she spray painted "Cheater" and other obsenities on the side of his SUV.Hell hath no furty . . .A public display of anger over love gone wrong — or a celebration over a marriage ended — caused traffic delays on North 21st Street in Superior on Wednesday. Large signs reading “X-HUSBAND SALE” and “FREE” by a pile of discarded belongings in the front yard of 202 N. 21st St. caused passersby

Cheating Kenyan Lovers Could Get "Stuck" Following Sex After Husband Pays for Black Magic Curse

2012-05-18T06:52:00.001-04:00

Don't you just hate then when it happens?You have sex with someone else's wife and you get stuck, uh, "in the act" after he has the local witch doctor put a curse on you?And the only way to get "unstuck" is to pay the woman's embarrased husband $240 to lift the spell?Yeah, that sucks, doesn't it.A man from Kenya claims to have used black magic on his adulterous wife and her lover, causing the

Drunk Customers Tear Up McDonalds After Cheeseburgers "Messed Up"

2012-05-18T06:38:00.001-04:00

Ah, the genius of modern man.You get drunk, you go order fast food to go, you get home and it's NOT what you ordered. So what do you do? Call and complain? File a notice with the Better Business Bureau? Or maybe grab a bring and throw it through the front window of the local McDonalds?Yeah, that'll teach 'em! Especially when you're too drunk to get away and fall flat on your face in the parking

Former Catholic Middle School Band Director Pleads Guilty to Sex w. Girl, 17, at a Motel, His Home, and a Radio Station

2012-05-17T07:48:00.001-04:00

So this teacher had sex with a minor at a motel, his home and . . . a radio station where he worked? Wait, what?So far, we haven't been able to find out more details about that last one (no doubt part of some morning zoo radio contest to win tickets to see Justin Beiber), but John Krueger, a former band director for three Bismark, North Dakota Catholic grade schools faces up to five years in

Burglars Caught Having Sex in Home

2012-05-16T11:54:00.000-04:00

Breaking and entering AND sex?Asheville police say 21-year-old Leah Pimentel met a total stranger on Facebook, then broke into a vacant house on West Haywood Street to have sex. The homeowners almost stumbled in on the couple in the act. When family members shined flashlights on them, they took off running. Pimentel was caught by responding officers while her alleged lover got away. Police

Video: Drunk Girl on Awning Forgets the Law of Physics

2012-05-16T07:51:00.001-04:00

Is it ironic or just karma justice that it gives way right after she takes another drink? And, is it wrong of me to think of Wylie Coyote when it happens? Drunk Girl Forgets About Physics - Watch More Funny Videos

Video: Bloomberg Reporter Caught on Camera Adjusting Her Skirt - Sara Eisen

2012-05-16T07:44:00.002-04:00

In this video, Bloomberg news reporter Sara Eisen was caught on camera hiking her skirt up. Apparently, the reporter was not expecting to be on camera yet, but when the microphone malfunctioned at another desk, the camera panned over to a shocked Eisen with her skirt down. Reporter's Skirt Wasn't Ready For Air - Watch More Funny Videos

Man Leaves Son, 17, in Car While He Goes Into Bar, Tells Cops "They Were Bonding"

2012-05-15T07:16:00.001-04:00

Okay, so it's not like James L. Osborne, 59, left an infant in the car on a hot day, but still: this kid is a minor and he's in a car of a highway bar at 2:30 in the morning. Not something most people would do, or would even consider doing.He could have at least sent some bar peanuts out to the kid.Police say a Shepherdsville man is facing a misdemeanor charge after he left his 17-year-old son

Cops Bust Bar Serving Minors, Owner Sends 3 Girls Into Kitchen to Pretend to Cook

2012-05-15T07:11:00.001-04:00

Yes, you read that right. In the wealthy Indianapolis suburb of Carmel, Indiana, police went to the Double Apple Lounge after they received reports of minors being served. When they entered the premises, the owner of the bar paniced and told three underage drinkers to run into the kitchen, put on aprons and chef hats and pretend to be cooking. Their only mistake? The boozing teens forgot to turn

Female Chemistry Teacher, 41, Found Having Sex in Car With Boy, 18 - Heather Adams

2012-05-14T07:19:00.001-04:00

And, once again, we have a female teacher--who should know better--caught having sex in a parked car with a high school boy. At 9:30 at night on a school night!We won't get into the whole argument about whether having sex with an 18-year-old should be against the law or not. The real question is: can't these ladies afford a motel room? Or is there something about reliving your high school days,

Fantasy Baseball Championship, $40,000 in Prizes

2012-05-11T07:16:00.004-04:00

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Substitute Teacher Sends Nude Photo to Boy, 16, Waits to Have Sex With Him Until His 17th Birthday - Tiffany Michelle Amos

2012-05-11T07:12:00.001-04:00

It does not appear that Texas has a "person of authority" law, so with the age of consent being 17, Spring school district (TX) substitute teacher Tiffany Michelle Amos, apparently thought she had things covered by waiting until the young man she wanted to hook up with had his birthday. Except for one thing: she sent him naked pictures and naughty texts the day before--while he was still 16--

Female Teacher Resigns Just Before Grand Jury Indicts Her for Sex With Male Student - Andrea Conners

2012-05-11T06:59:00.001-04:00

We love it when these stories are written about the arrest of a "former teacher" as if she may have taught school many years ago and somehow this sex with a student thing had no relation to the fact that she worked at the school. Yes, technically Andrea Conners, resigned WAY back on May 3, 2012 and was just indicted yesterday (May 10), but maybe we need to come up with a new term for someone like

Today's Female Teacher Sex Scandal Story Comes From Clifton, NJ - Kristin Leone

2012-05-10T07:35:00.001-04:00

Not a lot of details on this story, but Kristin Leone, 26, appears to be a typlcal high school social studies teacher. At some point, acccording to police, she started texting a 16-year-old male student in her class and things escalated from there.Our favorite part of the story is where the cops describe the first "incident" between the two as something that happened in Leone's "classroom while

Mexican 6th Graders May Have Made Porn Video in Classroom During Recess

2012-05-10T06:19:00.001-04:00

Ah, recess. A time to take a break from studies in grade school to get outside, enjoy some fresh air and, apparently in Mexico, make porn videos.Yep, you read that right. Some kids in the Mexican coastal state of Campeche are reportedly in trouble with the State Education Department after boy's mom saw the video on the Internet and notified autorities. A horrified spokesmand for the agency, Omar

Utah Mom Arrested for Taking Nude Photos of Daughter, 13, To Send to Girl's 30-Year-Old Boyfriend

2012-05-09T07:33:00.001-04:00

The real question in all of this is: what teenager today doesn't know how to take photos of themselves with a cell phone? We thought that was something they taught in kindergarten these days?Oh, and this lady should be a finalist for the 2012 Mother of the Year Awards, shouldn't she?A Duchesne County woman is facing felony charges after investigators say she took nude photos of her teenage

Surprise! Female Teacher Who Admitted Sex With Underage Boys Gets Lifetime of . . . Probation?

2012-05-09T07:22:00.001-04:00

Former Phoenix area teacher Gabriela Compton could have gotten 39 years in jail for sexting one 14-year-old boy and having sex with another. But by now, you know how this works: pretty young female teachers get probation, while a man in the same situation would be off to 10 to 20 years in a PMITA prison. The latest benefactor of this double-standard is 21-year-old Gabriela Compton.A former

"Father of the Year" Finalist Charged With Strapping Kids to Hood of Car, Taking Them for a Ride - Aaron S. Stefanski

2012-05-09T06:23:00.001-04:00

A couple of interesting things about this story. I grew up in Fort Wayne so I know right were this liquor store is. Can't say that's happened with any other stories I've ever posted here on The Dumbass Daily.And second: Whose BAC is more than twice the legal limit at 5:30 pm on a Monday? Even that drunk, who thinks it would be a good idea to strap four kids to the hood of your car and take them

Female Teacher Arrested for Sex With Boy, 15, After He's Able to ID Her "Below the Waterline" Tattoo - Rhonda Michelle Ford

2012-05-08T07:49:00.001-04:00

Careful with those "hidden" tattoss ladies: some day some young punk might be able to help cops press charges against you because he got a peek "below the waterline" so to speak.According to police, former Clayton High School (OK) teacher Rhonda Michelle Ford gave booze to underage kids who helped her move to a new home and then later got involved with a 15-year-old male student. He claims it all

Naked Man Rams Car Into Federal Building, Is Caught Running Away - Christopher McCormick

2012-05-07T20:19:00.001-04:00

Well, of you're going to get naked and drive your car, you might as well plow it into something significant, right?Dumbass!A North Canton man drove his car into the Ralph Regula Federal Building and United States Courthouse early Saturday morning, then ran naked from the scene. The Canton Police Department tells Channel 3 Christopher McCormick 26, of North Canton is now in custody. According to