Dumb Criminals

Thrilling

cecilia — Mon, 14 May 2012 02:25:11 +0000

“I couldn’t dance if my life depended on it.” Yes, I do believe dance is a dying art. Just look at the New Jersey fist pump. I dare you all to go to da clubb and start breaking out some grand jetés and pas de cheval. Speaking of awkward dancing situations, a man in Idaho was [...] Related posts:

Dumb Criminals Ink Something we haven’t seen in a while: tattoos. Actually, we...
And I Thought Flat Irons Were Harmful Why do girls always fall for the jerks? Is it...
You Make Me Nervous, So… First dates are traumatic. Dating, in general, is such a...

London Bridge

cecilia — Mon, 14 May 2012 02:17:33 +0000

So this sounds like something straight out of Despicable Me. Which is great, because who doesn’t wanna read about those adorable eyeballed Twinkie-like creatures? LOSERS, that’s who. Losers also steal odd things, especially in the Czech Republic. Oh, those Czechs. According to The Telegraph, metal thieves managed to dismantle and steal a 10-ton bridge. And not [...] Related posts:

Hey, I Have One Just Like That! Note to My Inner Criminal Self: There are some things...
Bucket List What’s on your bucket list? Slurping down live squid? Hitching...
Make An Illegal U-Turn GPS’s are really something. I mean, who doesn’t want a...

“Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too”

cecilia — Sat, 12 May 2012 04:19:41 +0000

Guess what, all you pubescent adolescents? Contrary to what they tell you in health class, it seems as though your raging hormones are here to stay. All the way up to nursing home age, so it seems. Now. 911 is an emergency help service, not an emergency “help” service. Just in case there was any doubt…which, [...] Related posts:

Mother-In-Training Babysitting is not a bad job, in terms of the...
“It’s An Intimate Get-Together” Some people can throw some crazy parties, right? I’m talking...
Now Where Are The Dwarves? I could never pay someone to clean my house. Like,...

Bucket List

cecilia — Sat, 12 May 2012 04:14:26 +0000

What’s on your bucket list? Slurping down live squid? Hitching a ride on the back of a stranger’s Harley? Participating in a good old-fashioned swordfight? OR all three simultaneously? However, if that’s too hardcore for you, bro….you can always just ride a unicycle in the nude. A middle-aged man in Houston can now take pride in [...] Related posts:

Just Slept Through My Alarm… Sleeping on the job is probably never a good idea....
“You’ve Got Red On You” If you have a legitimate zombie apocalypse plan, congratulations. You...
Not Even Once Admit it, you’ve always had the desire to do something...

Girl Power: You’re Doing It Wrong

cecilia — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 19:06:10 +0000

Sadly, marriage isn’t forever anymore. Divorce isn’t forever either (Though I’m not suggesting Kim Kardashian was really that guy’s soulmate. Or anyone’s.). So what’s the solution? BURN IT ALL. According to Houston Press, a young woman starting by giving her husband a sensual massage, and ended by setting him afire. And not metaphorically. Turns out the [...] Related posts:

Can You Say “Whipped”? Believe it or not, there is an endangered species of...
Protection: You’re Doing It Wrong Some people say age is just a number….then again, is...
Burning Passion Relationships can be really difficult, can’t they? No matter if...

Hot Cops

cecilia — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 19:01:40 +0000

Sometimes I wonder how people get the jobs they got. Like, who writes their 9th grade essay about a fulfilling future of organizing produce at Wal-Mart? Or showing people around a mattress store, trying to convince customers that every uniform rectangle of the same cotton is distinctly different? Hey, I guess someone has to do [...] Related posts:

Dear Diary Imagination is a good thing, right? I mean, no one...
Oh, Good. I Thought It Was You Some people take the phrase “become your character” way too...
The Family Business Texting just really doesn’t get us anywhere, does it? Other...

They Said I Could Be Anything…

cecilia — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 01:14:50 +0000

Interesting how many parents name their kids after what they want them to be. That’s probably where you get poor suckers like Abraham Lincoln Jones, or Einstein Matthews. But, I mean, if that’s acceptable, why not take it further? I’ll give birth to Secret Agent and Rock Star. According to The Smoking Gun, Fellony committed a [...] Related posts:

Mother-In-Training Babysitting is not a bad job, in terms of the...
Scary Dairy The economy is pretty whacked out these days. Everyone is...
Fashionable AND Practical It’s really no fun being a scapegoat. Actually, I doubt...

Spitting Or Non-Spitting?

cecilia — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 01:06:39 +0000

Fast food seemed like a great idea at the time, but it’s gotten just downright scary. French fries are probably filled with more meat than the actual “burger” is, and Taco Bell fills its crispy shells using a legitimate meat tube. Like, my (imaginary) dog receives better nutrition. Even worse, now we have to worry about [...] Related posts:

Fiesta! Food has always brought families together. Or sliced them apart,...
Burning Passion Relationships can be really difficult, can’t they? No matter if...
The Family Who Eats Together… Women can get a little crazy over their food. If...

Pics Or It Didn’t Happen

cecilia — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 00:50:48 +0000

It’s not official ‘till it hits Facebook, right? There’s no science homework unless someone writes a whiny status. They’re not dating until make-out pictures gack up your news feed. And, of course, someone is your friend if, and only if, you click “confirm”. This rule even applies to criminals! A young man in Kentucky might’ve been [...] Related posts:

But You Didn’t Even Finish Counting… It occurred to me, while watching one of my favorite...
Tag Me Too! You can tell a lot about a person from their...
Masks Are Too Mainstream… We all know people who are ashamed of their looks....

“Sweetheart, You Know That Don’t Thrill Me.”

cecilia — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 00:43:41 +0000

How far would you go to get out of the friendzone? Show up with chicken noodle soup on a sick day? Send the sexiest of sexy pictures? Suffer through an Indiana Jones movie or an episode of Pretty Little Liars with said friendzoner? I bet you can’t beat these guys! When a Nebraska woman decided she [...] Related posts:

At Least She Doesn’t Sparkle Judging from my observations, the hype for the release of...
Dumb Criminals Ink Something we haven’t seen in a while: tattoos. Actually, we...

Dumb Criminals Ink

cecilia — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:23:43 +0000

Something we haven’t seen in a while: tattoos. Actually, we see them every day….the I-was-drunk-and-in-college skulls, the we-were-in-love-forever-until-he-cheated hearts, the Asian-is-totes-a-cool-language Chinese symbols, and the imprint-motherhood-onto-my-body-even-more pictures of kids’ faces. So what I really mean is that they haven’t been on here for a while. Three young men were walking their dogs on a fine Idaho [...] No related posts.

Can You Say “Whipped”?

cecilia — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:21:20 +0000

Believe it or not, there is an endangered species of men out there who would reduce themselves to complete slaves for a girl. Even if that girl happens to be his mother…. Here’s one British guy who’s really in love (coughcoughImeanhorny), according to Huffington Post. His girlfriend, traumatized by recent events, got angry and plunged a [...] Related posts:

One-piece, Bikini, or Full-Body Armor? With the end of summer approaching, people get a little...
Come At Me, Pup! Significant others and pets are always a cute combination. Until...
Furby: Not Recommended For…Anyone Everyone has something from their childhood that haunts them to...

Come At Me, Pup!

cecilia — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 00:52:47 +0000

Significant others and pets are always a cute combination. Until you get a Christmas card from newlyweds and their 167 dogs. Or until you break up with your boyfriend but still have to take care of the kitten he gave you. Or when your husband spends more time rolling around on the floor roughing up [...] Related posts:

Livin’ In The Fridge It’s a pretty tough call between which is better, a...
Burning Passion Relationships can be really difficult, can’t they? No matter if...
Take Your Kid To “Work” A lot of kids are expected to follow in their...

Bonding Time!

cecilia — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 00:46:33 +0000

Maintaining a decent mother-daughter relationship can be tough. There’s always the controlling mom trying to “relive the glory days” through her high school kid. Or the mom who’s so clueless she still thinks twilight is a time of day. But worst of all is the mom who wants to be considered a friend, and ends [...] Related posts:

Take Your Kid To “Work” A lot of kids are expected to follow in their...
Silly Parents, Beer Is (NOT) For Kids Kids are trying to grow up WAY too fast these...
One-piece, Bikini, or Full-Body Armor? With the end of summer approaching, people get a little...

There’s No Place Like The…Jail

cecilia — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 17:26:53 +0000

Bad karaoke is bad for anyone involved. The person up there, envisioning spotlights and a sexy bass player and a crowd of thousands…. is just embarrassing herself. And the poor people listening are probably restraining themselves from pulling an Airplane! by trying out various suicide methods. Most of the time, though, we just deal with it. [...] Related posts:

Stick It To The Man Food for thought: Maybe the crime is completely acceptable, and...
Oh, And You’re Fired Old people can get a little crazy, can’t they? I...
And I Thought Flat Irons Were Harmful Why do girls always fall for the jerks? Is it...

Furby: Not Recommended For…Anyone

cecilia — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 17:23:36 +0000

Everyone has something from their childhood that haunts them to this day. I, for instance, will forever be terrified of Gushers, because I feel no desire to have my head replaced with giant fruit. Please share in the comments which ridiculous images still lurk in your earliest memories. Not surprisingly, Furbys are considered to be horrifying [...] No related posts.

You Make Me Nervous, So…

cecilia — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 02:28:14 +0000

First dates are traumatic. Dating, in general, is such a stressor. It would be so much easier to live in fairy tale-time…where you saw a hot guy riding a horse, sang to him, and lived happily ever after. And never had to worry about bad breath or tripping on your fancy heels. Heck, sometimes all [...] Related posts:

Make An Illegal U-Turn GPS’s are really something. I mean, who doesn’t want a...
Now To Make A Loooot of Tortillas “I’m really in the mood for corn…fifty-five TONS of it.”...
Rap and Crime, How Typical Teens have such an attitude, don’t they? They think they...

Purple Stain

cecilia — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 18:57:33 +0000

You know what’s gross? Blood. You know what’s even grosser? THAT kind of blood. Yeah, because it’s not enough for women to give birth, do laundry, AND take care of men…they also need their abdomen turned inside out once a month. Fun. Oh, and this article gets grosser, so reader (procrastinator) discretion is advised. Strangely enough, [...] Related posts:

Pissed-at-Men Syndrome It’s funny, the thing teenagers get worked up over. So,...
Oh, Good. I Thought It Was You Some people take the phrase “become your character” way too...
Masks Are Too Mainstream… We all know people who are ashamed of their looks....

I Can Haz Moneh

cecilia — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 18:33:04 +0000

Little kids can be great. They cheer you up when you’re down, make you more attractive to the opposite sex, and are hilarious when swearing on Youtube. But how often can they stop a burglar? A man in Germany walked into a house one evening with every intention of robbing it, and held up a gun [...] Related posts:

Fish ‘N Chips Some crimes sound a little too dumb to be true....
Broken Heart, Broken Windows Old couples can be really cute. They remind you that...
Rap and Crime, How Typical Teens have such an attitude, don’t they? They think they...

Fiesta!

cecilia — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 02:53:39 +0000

Food has always brought families together. Or sliced them apart, in some cases. Things could get heated, maybe even boil over. Always remember to mix the two ingredients carefully. It was a normal day as any for a Miami family consisting of a grown man, his live-in girlfriend, and his mother. It wasn’t until they decided [...] Related posts:

Stay Together for the Lizards Sucks being stuck in the middle, doesn’t it? Nobody wants...
One-piece, Bikini, or Full-Body Armor? With the end of summer approaching, people get a little...
Kids vs. Creeps A lot of people are just downright creepy. But it’s...