Dumb Criminals

Out of Gas, Brains

Danny — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:25:14 +0000

Gas prices are going up again and that can only mean one thing – more gas station robberies. Unfortunately, these two burglaries forgot to steal some gas along with their loot and ended up getting [...] Related posts:

Cop with a Brain and a Half Making out a schedule of your day is important. It...
Chump Don’t Pump Remember that dolt criminal from “Robocop” who robs a gas...
You Can’t Spell “No You Put YOUR Hands Up” Without N-R-A ONE OF LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS #450 – Members of the...

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Catching Hell for Your Cell

Danny — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:58:02 +0000

Cell phones are great. They give us instant access to communication and information at the click of a button. They allow to keep in constant contact with important people where ever we go. They constantly [...] Related posts:

Cell Hell You’ve got to love these new fangled cell phones. Man...
An Unflattering Cell Portrait Cell phones have done some great things in their time....
Crook Catches Hell With His Cell Cell phones are a big pain in the butt. They...

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Lack of Intelligence Theft

Danny — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:53:20 +0000

Thanks to the increasing accessibility and widespread use of computer, identity and intelligence theft have become more rampant and more common. It’s too bad this guy didn’t try to steal some intelligence for himself. Someone [...] Related posts:

Grand Theft Uh-Oh This case might not fit the profile of a “dumb...
Grand Theft Dumbo If you’re being tried for auto theft, the last thing...
Wombats are Mean Little F******s You notice over to the right that there are a...

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Role Playing with Fire

Danny — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:49:44 +0000

It’s always a good idea to spread some good words about your work if you’re looking to gain a little street cred for your job. It’s a bad idea to include fake explosive and a [...] Related posts:

Fire Dumb Below The Internet is such a marvelous tool. It’s done some...
Now You Get to Drink from…THE FIRE HOSE! You’re in jail and you’re bored. What’s the best way...
Man avenging dog’s death dies in fire he set We have a late entry for this year’s Darwin Award....

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Deposited Into a Cell

Danny — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:46:00 +0000

Banks are always a big pain in the ass, even the drive-through lanes that are supposed to make things easier. You’re always in a rush and the line never moves fast enough. You rush your [...] Related posts:

Lost Without a Map Pop quiz, hotshot. What’s dumber than calling the local cops...
To Dye For There is nothing wrong with being undeterred by your goal....
A Real Jackass I realize that jackass is a synonym for donkey, but...

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Break-In Becomes Turned-In

Danny — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 01:52:11 +0000

Police officers have a very difficult job. At least this case was closed early, probably so they could go home and catch “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” on time for once. A man who [...] Related posts:

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Break-In Again Crooks leaving their personal information at the scene of their...
Double Trouble When will drunk drivers ever learn that the worst thing...
How Not to Break Down a Door First of all, a key works a lot better than...

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License to Drive Off

Danny — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 04:50:49 +0000

Some people just can’t take a hint. Some of these people work for the Securities and Exchange Commission. One driver who had his license revoked by an officer during a traffic stop got right back [...] Related posts:

No License In England a gang hired a man to drive their...
Mow It Like You Stole It Only in West Virginia could a man on a riding...
Not Cool, Man Drunk driving is dumb. Drinking while driving is dumber. Drinking...

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The Naked Truth

Danny — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 04:29:51 +0000

Getting caught with your pants down is one thing. Not even bothering to bring pants with you in the first place is just ridiculous. A man caught breaking into a car did not bother to [...] Related posts:

A Bum Bums a Ride to Court What’s the worst way to get to court for your...
The Good, The Bad and The Naked We have nothing against nudity, but not if it leaves...
A Shot in the Dork I’ve never been a big “gun person.” But this story...

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To Dye For

Danny — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 06:35:35 +0000

There is nothing wrong with being undeterred by your goal. But there is a fine line between determined and demented. It’s also a very zig-zaggy line and the demented side is located over the gravity-heavy [...] Related posts:

The Next Day Sometimes, a criminal’s stupidity does not rear its ugly head...
Which Bank? People with disabilities want money too. Once, a man suffering...
Spelling Errors and Wrong Notes A man walked into the downtown Bank of America and...

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Stupid Man, Stupid Man, Does Whatever A Sane Man Wouldn’t…

Danny — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:42:15 +0000

What’s worse than being caught jumping around your room in your full body Spider Man costume? Well, nothing, especially if it’s in your room because that implies you still live with your parents. A man [...] Related posts:

The Clothes Make the Man Stupid ONE OF LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS #872: Always dress for success,...
Tapeheads What’s dumber than stealing a car, an iPod and a...
D.A.R.E. to Be Stupid Excessive drug use will get you one of three things:...

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A Joint Resolution

Danny — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 05:03:39 +0000

I don’t pretend to understand the ins and outs for British Parliament, but it must get just as monotonous and tedious as the American Congress. After all, we were birthed by the very same government, [...] Related posts:

Pass It Over In East Hartford, CT, a couple of guys were sitting...
A Joint in the Joint If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 7,846 times,...
‘Peace on Earth’ T-Shirt Sparks Arrest It is quite obvious that there is a large section...

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Always Dress for Success

Danny — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:31:52 +0000

It’s important to always remember that the right clothes make for the right job. What kind of clothes? Any clothes. Police caught a naked man burglarizing someone’s home, according to the AP. The man having been discovered [...] Related posts:

The Naked Truth Getting caught with your pants down is one thing. Not...
Stalled at the Police Station There is a time and a place for everything. You...
Cop Out Fake cops, do they never fail to make us laugh?...

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Maybe He Overslept on His Deathbed

Danny — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 09:21:22 +0000

I’ve always wondered what my last words should be on my deathbed. I believe it would be something like, “Get me two blondes, the dumber the better” or maybe at least one redhead depending on [...] Related posts:

Your Guilt is Written All Over Your Face It’s hard to know what’s going through the minds of...
No Warrant Charged with drug-possession, Christopher Johns claimed that he had been...
Contest Entry A man and his girlfriend were robbing a convenience store....

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A Real Dog Lover

Danny — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 06:10:40 +0000

Some cases not only defy description, they really don’t require it. For instance, a woman was caught having sex with a dog. Police caught the woman because she left some videos of her homemade dog [...] Related posts:

No Words Can Adequately Describe The Shock You’ll Experience When Read This Story of a Woman Who Had Sex With a Dog That’s not a joke or some kind of witty way...
Smile, You’re on a Security Camera! We normally don’t use the words “funny” and “security camera”...
Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Buggies Drunk I knew for a long, long time that these people...

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Half-Wit, Full Moon

Danny — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:22:04 +0000

There is never a reason you should ever moon a federal court judge. Except maybe if the case involves your ass. I hope the prosecution would call mine “Exhibit Fabulous.” A law lecturer accused of [...] Related posts:

I dare you to arrest me… "If I get a break today, judge, you won't see...
Cop and a Half A Brain Every actor knows that if you’re going to tackle a...
A Hard Blow to His Case When you’re on trial for a certain type of crime,...

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A Bum Bums a Ride to Court

Danny — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 08:27:42 +0000

What’s the worst way to get to court for your theft charge? A. Arrive on time but without pants B. Show up in your only clean shirt that reads “Up yours, Judge” C. In a car that you [...] Related posts:

How to Take Your Case to a Higher Court If you’re going to court where prosecutors are looking to...
Defendant runs from court before innocent verdict The AP reports that Patre Eugene Williams faced 30 years...
You Can’t Spell “Dumb Criminal” Without D-N-A Remember the OJ Simpson trial? I sure do. From the...

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While You Were Out of Your Mind

Danny — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:05:33 +0000

It’s always nice and courteous to leave a forwarding message if you’re going to be away and people need to contact you. Except if you left a forwarding address and number in case someone finds [...] Related posts:

Tiger pelts A man from New Delhi, India arrived at San Francisco...
A Few Heroin Bricks Short of a Wall Women never cease to amaze me. They complain constantly about...
Crack Will Make You Stupid In Montgomery there is a strip mall that contains, among...

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The Chase Is…A Bit Off

Danny — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:18:26 +0000

If you’re ever pulled over by the police for a traffic infraction, there aren’t many made-up excuses that will get them out of your hair. Usually, the best excuse is the truth. Note the fact [...] Related posts:

Not So Bright Why do so many people who break the law feel...
A Trolley Folly Always know your surroundings. It’s important to know where you...
A Not-So-Capitol Idea People who go out of their way to make a...

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World’s Dumbest Dad

Danny — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 08:20:03 +0000

Fathers’ day is just around the corner, so don’t forget to tell the man responsible for bringing you into this world thank you for getting your mother so drunk that she would have let a [...] Related posts:

As the World Turns Itself In This is a story that just defies all description. It...
Teacher of the Year…In The BIZARRO WORLD!!! You’re pretty much reached the lowest point on the food...
The World’s Dumbest Break-In Most criminals break into houses, stores and orphanages. Some really...

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Running on Empty

Danny — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 03:43:34 +0000

Times are tough. People are cutting back on all sorts of things: food, cable, regular pool cleanings, gas for the getaway car. Two bank robbers were caught when their getaway car ran out of gas, [...] Related posts:

His Wallet Wasn’t the Only Thing That Was Empty How many times has this happened to you? You go...
Running Cars Without Keys A man decided he wanted to be quick, so he...
Take Some Time to Stop and Smoke Some Crack ONE OF LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS #3609 – Crack and car...

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