Dumb Little Man - Tips for Life

7 How-to-be-happy Lessons That Kids Can Teach Us

2008-07-17T01:56:00.001-05:00

Written on 7/17/2008 by Evelyn Lim, a writer of self help articles on Attracting Abundance.

You do not have to look very far to learn how to be happy. In fact, there are no expensive workshops or courses to take, or books that you need to read. You do not even need to sit in meditation to gain great insights. Well, if you are seeking for happiness, then notice who around you seems to be happy all day? That’s right – kids!

Laughter is a natural thing with kids. If you spend some time playing with them, it is easy to get infected with their happy smiles. While there are moments that kids get upset, you find that you can learn a thing or two from them about forgetting their anger just as quickly. It is also possible that you start to remember a time when you used to be a kid and how life seemed so easy and without worries.

If anything, here are 7 ways that you can learn from kids on how to happy:

Living in the present
Kids have a wonderful way of living one moment at a time. Their feelings are often based on events as they happen. They are mostly joyful. At times, they may feel negative and this usually happens in a fight over toys or games. However, as soon as they get distracted with something new, they no longer hold on to their negative emotions. Instead, they are happy once again.

As adults, we tend to remain angry or upset even way after the event. We are experts in accumulating anger in an internal storehouse. Our minds get stuck a lot in the past. We do not live in the present moment as it is now. It is hard to be happy when we have no present moment awareness.

Single Focus While Doing Things
When a child is playing a tag, he is playing tag. He is not playing tag and thinking about the picture he will draw later and the block castle he will build tomorrow morning. He is single focused.

As adults, we get stressed because we pile on many things into a single moment. We overwhelm ourselves with our “to do” list. Unfortunately, in trying to multi-task, our mind gets detracted from being present in each task. We end up rushing through time. There is no space for slowing down, let alone breathe. At the very worst, with so many things to do, we end up not accomplishing much.

So, if you find it hard to cope, slow down a little. Be single focused in the things that needs to be done first. After you finish, then move on to the next down your list. You find life more of a breeze, when you can reduce the number of things you need to do at any one point in time.

Use of Imagination
Kids are always using their imagination, whether they are playing a game or drawing a picture. They love pretend play and are intrigued by stories about magic, dreams and what seems humanly impossible. If you think about it, imagination is the seed of the feeling of joy. When you indulge in your dreams, endorphins are released, giving you a nice warm sensation.

It is funny that how as adults we have forgotten about using our imagination. School has trained us to be more left-brained and analytical. We also become more rigid in the way we do things and our expectations. Then, when events do not happen according to plan, we become very unhappy. We are less open to new possibilities, because we have lost our sense of imagination.

The future is limitless
To many kids, everything in life is possible. The sky is the limit and they have their whole lives ahead of them. There is no reason for them to feel as if time is working against them.

Well, you can adopt the very same attitude and not be held hostage by time considerations. It is never too late. If there is something you have been waiting to do with your life, then go for it. The last you want would be a life of regret. Joy escapes you when you allow life to become stale.

Always Joyful
Children are always happy because they find joy in little things. They get excited when they see a butterfly, jump over a puddle or get to go to McDonalds. They do not over analyze situations and do not assume the worst in people or situations. They keep things simple.

To remind yourself about being joyful, keep a gratitude journal. List down the many blessings that you currently enjoy in your life. Additionally, on a regular basis, do something small that makes you happy like reading one chapter of a book you like or taking a walk in the park.

Inherent Goodness and Trust in Others
Children have an inherent goodness about them. They do not intend to hurt anyone and they do not naturally think that anyone would want to hurt them. With no such ill intent or worries, it is easy to be just happy all day!

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone could play and work nicely together. Adults should learn from kids to put aside their differences and care for each other. Love creates happiness.

Absolute Faith In Getting Their Wishes Fulfilled
It is amazing how kids can have so much faith that their wishes will be granted. Ever get badgered by your kids until you "cave" in to give them what they want? Believe me; it is not easy to stay firm when you are up against their cheeky smiles.

Another example I can think of is about the wishes of my kids to see the world. They talk about their travel plans all the time. There was never a shred of doubt that their wishes will be granted one day.

Do we hold as much faith in our own dreams? Probably not. We are too encumbered by unnecessary worries. We limit ourselves by our beliefs. If things are not working in our favor, we may even choose to give up half way and ditch our dreams.

In conclusion, to be happy, reconnect with the inner child in you. Be around kids if it helps. If you do not have any, check out your local playground. Better yet, volunteer some time at a Children’s Orphanage. Bring out the imaginative, joyful, and trusting qualities in you. By becoming more child-like, you are well on your way to becoming less of a stress bag.

-Evelyn

Grow Up, Green Up: How to Fight the Impulse Purchase

2008-07-16T09:09:00.005-05:00

Written on 7/16/2008 by Sara Ost ecosalon.com with additional reporting by Mike Sowden.

When people ask about “going green”, they’re often pleasantly surprised at how easy it is: just stop buying so much stuff. Sure, basic necessities can easily be “greened up”: think fair trade coffee and cloth napkins and efficient light bulbs.

Clothes, cars and furniture all come in eco-versions these days. But the friendliest thing you can do for the planet (and your wallet) is to learn to fight the senseless impulse purchase once and for all. We’re talking about the singing fish on the wall.

Buying less crap: a rational proposition. Unfortunately for economics professors, human beings are not rational. (Hence the disturbing number of shoes in my closet.) If all it took to save cash and help the planet were a little logical insight, we wouldn’t be in the embarrassing predicament of far too many bagel slicers.

Which is why the typical advice for resisting junk you don’t need never really helps. When we were researching tips to bring you for fighting the urge to buy on impulse, we kept finding the same old advice over and over again and to be honest, none of it felt very inspiring. Consider:

The old “define what you really need before you shop” trick. (Typically: avoid wants, consider what you need to avoid starvation/homelessness/death. Well, thanks, Sherlock.)

The reminder to go the store with a specific goal. (This apparently assures you will never, ever get distracted.)

The suggestion to go home and wait a day before returning to buy. (Now this is not even eco-friendly. Think of the gas!)

Something about the moral perils of instant gratification. (I don’t remember because the post was really long.)

A recommendation for self-manipulation (hiding the credit card) or self-punishment (if I use the card again I must run the Lyon Street stairs 10 times) and other frankly ridiculous ways to stop trusting yourself to be a capable adult.

The trusty maxims: appreciate the simple things, treasure what you have, remember giving is better than receiving, and so on.

Another recurrent pearl: do not shop when you are angry, worried, tired, sad, lonely, hungry…or otherwise displaying signs that you are in fact a human being.

The “secret weapon”: comparison shop rather than buy the item when you first see it. (Because online discounts do not encourage rationalizing that you can actually afford the ~~shoes~~ item now.)

We finished off our quest with a big dollop of pseudo-psychology(think Maslow, affluenza and spirituality quotes from Madonna). The problem, we learned, is that you’re just not loving yourself enough!

Right. It’s called impulse purchase for a reason. Will we really change by reading a few clichéd tips? Perhaps winning the battle of the impulse purchase requires a big splash in the face to wake us up and teach us how we’ve been socially engineered. That’s right - engineered. Just when we were ready to call it quits, we stumbled onto a film that is the equivalent of a tidal wave to the noggin. Watch The Century of Self. There is no possible way you can watch this film and remain unchanged. When it comes to reining in the impulse purchase, aren’t you sick of all the shallow tricks? We all have a brain; it’s just in need of a shake up.

Maybe the reason the above tricks rarely effect lasting change is because they are working in the wrong direction. It’s not that tips aren’t useful (obviously Dumb Little Man is loaded with thousands of great tips). It’s that change has to happen on the inside first.

If tips have ever worked for you, it’s because you had already changed internally and just needed some helpful tools to move in the right direction. But for most people, especially those drowning in credit card debt and slaves to the constant striving for the latest glossy widget, real change is going to take more than a few cute maxims and hidden credit cards. Tinkering is not going to cut it. We need to start with the shake up - we need the “aha” moment that rattles the core and makes us confront ourselves. (At that point, bring on the tips.)

Otherwise…dude, you’re gettin’ a bagel slicer.

P.S. We recommend that you bookmark this post. After you’ve watched the film, come back and check out this short film called The Story of Stuff, just for the green of it.

-Sara

10 Awesome Tools That'll Make You An Expert Twitter User

2008-07-16T08:01:00.009-05:00

Written on 7/16/2008 by Abhijeet Mukherjee, of Jeet Blog.

There hasn't been a single day in the last few months when I haven't heard anything about Twitter. Whether it's the simplicity of the product, various tools built on it's API, the famous and hyperactive twitter users, or the notorious downtimes, twitter hasn't failed to hog the limelight since its launch. In fact it wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said that there isn't a more popular or more simple tool.

Twitter has had it's own share of criticism, primarily due to the downtimes it experienced (and still experiences quite often). This has many calling it an unproductive tool. However it has it's own benefits and hence has a huge fan following. It allows you to interact with many people simultaneously and in the simplest possible manner. So for all those twitter lovers, here are a set of tools which could further enhance your expertise as a twitter user and utilize it effectively. And those who despise twitter, there is no harm in taking a look. You might start loving it :)

Before you read this, I would like to mention that this is not a comprehensive list of all twitter tools (there are hundreds of them) but these are the ones which I found very useful and thought would be good to share. And yes, these are some of the very few twitter apps which actually make sense!

Desktop apps
The best way to update twitter is through the various desktop apps like Twhirl or AlertThingy for Windows and Twitterific for Mac. They have a nice interface and let you interact with other twitter users easily. However they might fail to update when they cross the limit or twitter has technical problems and you would then need to revert back to the web interface.

Twitrefresh
One of the main reasons twitter users prefer desktop apps and not it's web interface is because they have to manually refresh it to check the tweets. Twitrefresh provides a solution to that and refreshes the twitter page after every 1 minute. Those who love twitter's web interface will find this tool very useful.

Firefox extensions
If you are one of those who don't like to leave their browser when they are online, then there are some cool firefox extensions like Twitterfox and Twitbin which work like the desktop apps helping you to update and use twitter from right inside the browser.

TwitterSnooze
If you are getting a blast of tweets from a particular follower then you may want to snooze him/her using TwitterSnooze. For example if you've got a follower who uses Twittytunes to update his twitter status then you could get frequent automated tweets from that person when he is listening to songs. If that gets irritating you can use this tool to snooze tweets from that person.

Twitterfeed
Twitterfeed is a must use app if you're a blogger and use twitter. It retrieves the RSS feed of the blog and updates the twitter status when you publish a new post on the blog. This could be an additional source of traffic for your blog.

Summize
Summize is the best way to search twitter real time for any information. It also has very good advanced search features which let you retrieve results quickly and easily. Here is an article which delves further into some nice tools to search twitter in real time. Note: This tool worked so well, Twitter just bought it.

Twitterfone
Twitterfone is a nifty tool which let's you post messages to your twitter account using your voice. It translates your voice into text and posts them. You can use it when you don't feel like using your cellphone's keypad to tweet.

Twittercal
Twittercal, as it says, connects your Twitter account to your Google Calendar account and let's you easily add events from twitter.

Quotably
Quotably let's you view the twitter conversations as a discussion thread and also allows you to reply to them and participate in the discussion. This can be very useful if you are looking to follow a particular discussion.

Timer
Last but not the least, Timer does a very simple but extremely useful thing. It uses twitter to remind you about a task at the time specified so that you don't forget to accomplish it.

I hope you'll find all or some of these tools useful as a twitter user. You could also follow me on twitter and discuss more twitter features and what you like or hate about twitter.

-Abhijeet

6 Ways to Cut Costs on your Wedding Day

2008-07-15T15:00:00.003-05:00

Written on 7/15/2008 by Jim who writes about money & personal finance at Blueprint for Financial Prosperity.

Having recently been married myself, last February, I'm acutely aware of how expensive weddings have become in America. Couple that with how our economy is in free-fall and it's clear that anyone looking at a wedding in the next few years will have to keep things as economical as possible. Gone are the days when you could sell a couple share of Google and have your wedding all paid for.

Here are seven tips you can use to help reduce the cost of your wedding.

Invite Fewer People
Catering expenses are per person. Invitation costs are per person. So many of the expenses in a wedding are per person, so logically it makes sense that to save money you need fewer people. Unfortunately, it's difficult to cut your invitation list.

So, how do you do it? Consider having a smaller ceremony that includes only family or close friends and family. If I'm friends with someone and they told me they were having a small ceremony with only family, I wouldn't feel slighted (unless I was family!) if I wasn't invited. But also consider having a non-wedding party celebration for those you didn't invite as a compromise and you'll find that caterers will charge far less per person. :)

Get At Least 5 Catering Quotes

get five quotes minimum

flexibility in negotiations

Skip the Wedding Planner
If money is no option, hire a wedding planner. For most folks, doing it yourself is the more economical, and harder, option. Wedding planners aren't all bad though, they have a network of folks they are familiar with and can potentially negotiate discounts in your favor. However, most people I've talked to who have used one say that you hire one to save you time and headache, not money. Instead, get a wedding planning book and follow the checklists they provide.

Invitations
This is another one of those "per person" charges and it doesn't really hurt to go austere on invitations and Save The Dates. You won't save a lot on invitations even if you go simple but every little bit counts. Go to a crafts store for some fancier paper, glue, and print your invitations. If you don't have a good printer, consider getting the cards printed on colored card stock and assembling something nice on your own. Finally, turn your RSVP cards into RSVP postcards, rather than cards inside envelopes, and you can save a few cents on return postage.

Sheet Cake
Instead of getting a huge ornately decorated wedding cake that's large enough to feed everyone, consider getting a smaller decorated cake and several flat sheet cakes. After the cake is cut, no one will know (or care) if it started its life as a sheet cake or the actual decorated wedding cake. The baker will usually give you a discount on the price because a sheet is far easier to make and transport.

Amateur Photographers/Videographers
This particular tip is risky but you can save a few thousand dollars by forgoing the professional photographer or videographer (we didn't use a videographer) and leveraging any burgeoning amateurs you know may. With how far technology has come, amateur photographers can do just as well as the professionals when it comes to taking stills. If they understand composition and other basic photography concepts, you probably will be happy with their work.

The risk of a bad job is always there and it's magnified since amateur photographers likely won't be used to working eight hour stretches. Also, afterwards you might have to do the touching up yourself (or again rely on friends and family!), but you could save money by going this route.

Buy Bridal Bargains Book
Every bride I talked to, including my wife, raved about Bridal Bargains by Denise Fields. You can probably find a copy at your local library or just ask someone who recently got married. Inside you'll find a wealth of cost cutting ideas that will rival any resource you'll find anywhere. They recently released an 8th edition so it's very current on the trends and very comprehensive.

Remember, every dollar you save is one that you can blow on the honeymoon!

-Jim

11 Ways to Generate Ideas for your Blog

2008-07-15T09:31:00.003-05:00

Written on 7/15/2008 by Syed Abbas of TNerd.com.

“Content is King”, it is true to the core. Creating valuable content is a challenge and doing it regularly is a bigger challenge.

I meet quite a few bloggers during conferences and events and one of the most commonly discussed issues among new bloggers is, “How can I create content on a continuous basis? Where do I get the ideas from?”

This is one of the major reasons most bloggers start with lot of enthusiasm and quit in despair. It's simple math, content creation on regular basis adds value to a blog which brings more users. Now go in reverse, No content – No Value, No Value – No visitors.

I’ve put together few things which have helped me generate ideas and put them in words for my readers on regular basis.

Do Not Panic – Have Fun
I’ve been there. It’s a beautiful sunny day; you sit down with your laptop to publish a great article only to realize that you don’t know what to write. Panic sets in, “I have to publish an article today and I have no idea what to write about, I don’t even have anything saved in Drafts.”

The more you panic the worse it gets. So, you know what? Don’t bother! Think of it as a holiday, go hangout with friends, watch a movie, visit your favorite eat joint, spend time at the library, do whatever it takes to put yourself at ease. While you are out having fun, record your thoughts (if any) which can be potential blog posts. Just record your thoughts at this time don’t spend time thinking if they are really worth a post, do that once you get back home.

The point I am trying to make here is that ideas for posts or articles will come to you naturally. All you have to do is look around without worrying about it. Most of the ideas come from regular conversations with friends and others or by something you see at a store on the sidewalk, etc..

Feed aggregators
This is THE most important source of getting ideas for blog posts. I cannot stress enough on how important this is. If you are a blogger and you do not have a list of blogs you follow through aggregators, then you are missing something really important. Feed aggregators are the fastest medium of getting the latest news and articles from blogs and websites and believe me the sooner you blog about “something” the better it is.

If you don’t currently use any aggregators, start building one now! I use iGoogle and the Google Desktop Web Clips Gadget to get the latest from the blogs and news sites I follow.

I can help you build your iGoogle, just shoot me an e-mail at nerd[at]tnerd.com and mention one of the following categories: “Tech News”, “Official Tech Blogs”, “Gadgets and Products” and I will share all the blog feeds I follow under that category. This way you can create your iGoogle page with close to 100 feeds instantly.

Social Media Sites:
Social Media sites are a very good source of certified interesting and valuable information. I say “certified”, because information on these sites is posted by readers like you and I who find it interesting enough to be shared with others.

Few of the sites I Follow are:
Feel free to add me to your friends list on Digg, Twitter or Stumbleupon.

Visit Forums, QnA, News sites, etc.
Identify the nature of blog you are running and the kind of content your users like to read. Once you have that, find forums and sites discussing related information. Make a list of such forums and sites and be a regular visitor. Comments and users discussions on such sites will generate enough leads to keep you busy writing for a while.

Example forums and sites:

Learn and Teach
Did you do anything recently which required a lot of reading and research on multiple sites? If yes, then write about it (do pass links to the original source). If you had to learn something and did not know about it then the chances are, another million people on the internet are searching for it too. So write about it.

For example:
- How to download videos from YouTube and other Video sites?
- How to search for different file formats?

Keyword Logs of your site
Sometimes you will see keywords on the logs which does not match the content on your site but can be a good topic for the next valuable post.

Following image has a keyword which will get me to research if .rar files can be opened online. If yes then that will make a good post for users wanting to know how it’s done.

I use Google Analytics to track visitor information on my tech blog. It’s a free tool which can be used on any site or blog including blogger and Wordpress blogs.

Watch TV
This is the easiest, just watch TV. Try watching news, tech shows, product launches, etc, instead of CSI or Lost. This is not only a good source of information but sometimes offers the opportunity of breaking the news on the internet, as you know breaking news has its own advantages.

TV can certainly help but it depends on the kind of blog you run and the information you are looking for. For example a tech blog writer will greatly benefit from a program such as Click – BBC world.

Software Sites
Visiting sites like Downloads.com will help you find new software that is hitting the market.. If you manage to find one that has recently launched, is very useful and not many blogs have reviewed it yet, then that could be a potential article.

Such sites usually offer a list of recently added or released software’s and utilities which can be very useful or you can go the software list page and sort by “Date” to see the latest additions.

Example sites:

Events and Conferences
Keep a track of events and conferences; these can be potential blog posts. If published at the right time, these blogs can attract a lot of visitors and subscribers.

Example events and conferences:
- iPhone launch
- SunTech Days
- 4th of July
- Valentine’s Day
Track comments and e-mails on the blog
Some of the top running articles on my technology blog are the result of tracking comments and e-mail from the blog. This can prove to be one of the best sources of ideas for posts and articles as users mostly leave comments asking questions.

Few of these questions might require a lot of explanation in terms of following steps to accomplish a task or simply explaining a concept. So keep your eyes open and never let any comment or e-mail go without a notice.

Last but not the least…
Sleep well, eat well, go to the gym and stay fit.

Bloggers usually work long hours and don’t get enough sleep which results in loss of focus. Not only blogging but anything you do, requires focus and best efforts for excellent results. The only way you can focus and give your 100% is by staying fit by sleeping enough and eating right.

I hope these tips were helpful.

-Syed

Improve Your Life By Practicing Positive Anger

2008-07-14T10:45:00.001-05:00

Written on 7/14/2008 by Abhijeet Mukherjee, of Jeet Blog.

Positive anger? Yeah right. When I am pissed at someone, it clearly is not a positive vibe and I am definitely not in the mood to bail on my principles simply to make peace. Right? Are you with me??

Well, as stubborn as you may be, there may be another way out of this. I'd like to mention a short story narrated by Tushar Gandhi, who is a great-grandson of Mahatma Gandhi. Yes, this is the Gandhi, the most prominent leader of the Indian freedom struggle and known as 'Father of the nation' in India. I read this story in a newspaper sometime back, so I'll try and recollect the main part of the story.

The story goes like this -

One day Tushar's father (Mahatma Gandhi's son) had to attend a conference in the city and asked him if he could drive him to the city, which was about 20 miles away. Tushar agreed and as per the plan, during the 2 hours when his father will be busy, Tushar will take the car to the service station and get a routine check-up. However, since Tushar was young and restless (he was 18 at that time), he instead decided to go and watch a movie and hence was 3 hours late.

When his father asked him why he was late, Tushar lied and said that the car repair took a lot of time. Eventually he confessed but his father was very disappointed and angry. Dumbfounded at how this could have happened, his father walked 20 miles to get home. On the way, he pondered where he went wrong with Tushar's upbringing. Tushar was dumbfounded at this decision of his father. Instead of punishing his son, he decided to punish himself for his son's error in judgment. This incident had a profound impact on Tushar and he never lied again.

In the above story, we could see that Tushar's father was definitely angry with his son but instead of bursting out and yelling at him, he decided to be calm and follow a non-violent method to vent his anger. At the same time he made his son realize his mistake. This is what we might call "positive anger"- anger that has a positive effect.

Anger is a natural phenomenon and suppressing that may not be a good solution always. Instead we can practice such positive anger in our life through these tips:

Practice Patience
Patience is the foundation of positive anger. An impatient person is sure to lose his cool in such situations. Hence you should practice patience (yes, believe me or not, it can be practiced!) through meditation and observing others who are more patient than you.

Reason before Action
Any step taken in haste is bound to produce unwanted consequences. In the story, if Tushar's father would have started shouting at him then the corresponding impact would have probably lasted on Tushar for a short term and he would have never narrated this story. Hence before you take any action, think, reason and then decide, even when you are very angry.

Breathe, breathe and breathe
If you really cannot control your anger and just want to shout, then wait and instead of doing that, start taking deep, long breaths. Yes, this is a common technique used to control anger and get the blood flowing in your brain and its usually very effective.

Celebrate Life
You should embrace trouble as a part of life and instead of loosing your cool in such situations, work with a calm mind towards a resolution. When you do resolve it, celebrate your success. Yes, celebrate those small moments of cheer and happiness and be thankful for having such a wonderful life!

Hence, anger, if " practiced " in the right manner can have a profound and a very positive impact on your life thereby taking care of a lot of further troubles which could arise out of anger. It is said- ' Anger is the worst enemy of man'....why not make it a friend :)

Cheers,

Abhijeet

6 Mistakes That Blew Up Your Job Interview

2008-07-11T05:24:00.004-05:00

Written on 7/11/2008 by Abhijeet Mukherjee, of Jeet Blog.

Last week I talked about 5 Key Steps To Acing Your First Job Interview. But how many of us are really able to hit the bullseye in their job interviews? How many walk out with an appointment letter and a glow on their face? The answer - only a few of us.

That's one of the main reasons we have ever increasing number of job hunters and why interview preparation is in itself a thriving business today.

It's not always that you fail an interview due to weak academic backgrounds and inadequate skill sets. You will hear stories of people getting selected for a job in spite of not having the required educational qualification and experience. How did they do it? Simple, by presenting themselves better then the other candidates and not committing the mistakes that I am going to talk about. You committed these mistakes and that's why you failed and the guy next door who wasn't as experienced and educated as you, got that cherished job!

You didn't prepare
You knew there was an interview coming up next week and you really wanted that job. However you didn't think about preparing for the interview and researching the company and various other things related to the interview. Why should you? You've got all the experience and knowledge, right?! Complacency is the mother of destruction, and this complacency about yourself, your experience and your skills cost you the job.

So the mantra is - Even if you were the CEO of your previous company, you should take some time out and prepare for the upcoming interview. There's no harm in doing that and it will empower you with more knowledge and confidence for the interview.

The "I don't care" attitude
You arrived late for the interview, were not dressed properly, didn't carry all the documents required and had an air of supremacy around you which had developed from the belief that you are the right person and the only person fit for the job. And that's why you didn't elaborately answer most of the questions asked by the HR executive.

Such an attitude can easily ruin the prospects of the best candidate out there.

You were aggressive
The interviewer tried to test your patience by asking you some weird questions or similar questions again and again. Instead of being patient and responding politely, you lost your cool and spoke in a loud voice.

You should know that it's a very common tactic of testing the candidate's patience where the interviewer tries to provoke him in order to check if the candidate freaks out too early. This is done to see if the candidate would be able to work in a high pressure corporate environment. Losing your patience in such situations reduces the chances of your getting selected in the interview.

You begged for the job
Anticipating that you may not have a good chance for getting selected in the interview, you resorted to begging for the job and emotionally alter the HR executive's decision.

Believe me, when you beg for the job, the interviewer on the other side loses all respect for you and makes sure that you are rejected. It's a give and take relationship and the employer doesn't pay the interviewer to hire those who haven't prepared well and don't respect themselves.

You badmouthed your previous employer or your boss
You were already employed and hence you were asked the obvious question, "Why you want to switch jobs?" Iin the answer to that question you criticized your employer and your boss and said that you didn't like to work there.

Portraying a negative attitude towards your previous employer can go against you because the interviewer might consider you to be wrong, not your employer.

You didn't think beyond the money
You just talked about money and nothing else. When asked why you want to switch jobs or what do you expect from your new employer, your answer was always centered around the money factor.

This is the dumbest of all mistakes and the most commonly committed too. Even if you are in it for money, you shouldn't show that. Instead talk about career and other benefits related to the job.

I hope this article helps a job seeker in getting the best out of his interview and ultimately securing the job.

Cheers,

Abhijeet

How Social Media Can Help (or Kill) Your Career and Life

2008-07-09T18:17:00.007-05:00

By now we have all heard about job recruiters using Google to search for ghosts in your closet. You know what I mean, in addition to credit and background checks, they search looking for your name and look for your myspace page, your facebook profile, your existence on hate websites, etc.

For the most part, I am all for this; the internet is public domain so if you put it something out there, accept it as yours.

As someone who has had to hire employees and locate tenants, I have held dozens of interviews and done my fair share of credit checks. My conclusion is that they just don't define character the way chat room fodder and social networking sites do. The latter provides a real world look into someone's character when they believe that no one else is watching.

In this little article I am going to offer up a handful of ways for you navigate through this trend because, well, it's not a trend. Search and Social Media are here for good and if you are in my camp, you believe that we're still in the infancy stages.

Some of my tips are ways to use social media to your advantage and some are pitfalls to watch out for. Take 'em or leave 'em, they are reality so apply as you see fit.

Does FriendFeed or Twitter belong on your Resume?
Well, that all depends. If you have a strong following on these sites and the crowd relies on you for your expert insight, much like a Muhammed Saleem, then yes, by all means include your URLs. However, and this is ridiculously critical, do not send twitter messages during a phone interview! The time stamps will kill you (I know someone this happened to; he was twittering during an interview...).

How can I prove my knowledge?
If you are in a field that is even somewhat competitive, start differentiating yourself now. Start answering questions on Linked In or perhaps Yahoo! Answers and then promote your profile. If you are able to show some passion and thoughtful insight for a particular topic, you'll stand head and shoulders above the candidate that is not online.

Company processes are moving more online each day and the more you can show that you're not only educated but willing to creatively work in an online venue, the more valuable you are.

If you are passed simple "look at me" profiles and you have a decent blog, a successful facebook app, or something else 'good', then promote it. If your personal/hobby site is successful, you are immediately more interesting than the person that has nothing cooking on the internet. However, if your blog only has 4 RSS subscribers, is filled with profanity or contains naked pictures of some celebrity, resist the urge. Success is viewed favorably (obviously) while mediocrity and vulgarity is viewed negatively.

When I decide to look for a new job, you can gaurantee that I'll be telling the world about DLM (hint, hint).

Standardization (i.e. Keep the Story Straight)
Your resume and online presence should be the same all over the place. If you have a twitter profile, a Monster.com resume, a Careerbuilder resume, and a hard copy, they should all be relatively the same. Nothing says BS like different stories, dates, and accomplishments.

Keywords
These days, most resumes are scanned into some corporate recruiting database and assigned keywords. When a manager has a position to fill, keywords are searched for and the query results show all the resumes that match. The same is true for Linked In and similar sites.

In this case, you may deviate from standardization and use varying keywords on each site/database to see what sticks and what brings in the best response. Refine your approach based on the calls/emails you receive. You should choose keywords for your location, certifications, hobbies, job titles and skills (but don't use ultra-generic buzz words, especially in your resume's objective).

Aliases
We all like to be truthful. However, the fact remains that if you are using your real name for everything, you will be burned eventually. Professional sites deserve your real name because it can eventually help you. Gambler's Anonymous message boards, Stop Smoking Forums, your Digg profile, comments on blogs, and any other site that could be viewed as a time waster or otherwise have a possible negative connotation, deserves a pseudonym.

To really illustrate this, here is the del.icio.us page for a recent DLM article. On the right side you will see the user names of everyone that bookmarked this article. Some people chose to use their real names! Click on a name and you will see everything this person has ever bookmarked. Wouldn't it suck if there were porn sites and other shady pages listed?

Your name is your online fingerprint so touch things with caution.

I live in a Dump
I am not sure that I would call these last two social media, more technology in general. The advent of Google Street View and other mapping applications gives people an opportunity to zoom in on your neighborhood and in some cases your home. While I do not agree with this, some people may see a dilapidated neighborhood as a sign of weakness and/or failure. When putting your address on a resume, at least consider this point. Again, I am not crazy about it but it's a fact that we all have to deal with.

Calendars
2 years ago I wrote an article entitled, Death by Google Calender. It showed how bad guys could easily search public calendars and then rob you because you told them you'd be out at a card game (or otherwise not home). I was very specific and it was quite an episode as the article was picked up by Slashdot. I ultimately edited the article after the calendar owner emailed me indicating that they would switch their settings to private instead of public.

In any event, the same holds true here. See the irritatingly small image below? Do you see that button that says, "Search Public Calendars"? Well, what if the hiring manager tossed your name in there and found out how your really spent your weekends? Again, be smart.

At this point I think you catch my drift; be creative, smart, and use social media to the fullest. But - don't lambaste people on blogs or share personal details unless you want them shared and unless you are willing to take the heat.

How else can you use the internet and social networking to make yourself more appealing to hiring managers? Let us know in the comments.

- Jay

8 Ways to Avoid Unproductive Meetings

2008-07-09T09:05:00.002-05:00

Written on 7/09/2008 by Aaron Stannard, editor of Working Smarter.

Have you watched CareerBuilder.com’s hilarious "Donut Jungle" commercial? The one where naïve employees are lured with delicious deserts into attending pointless meetings? The commercial is hilarious because it contains a hint of truth: many meetings, especially in larger organizations, are utterly pointless and devoid of usefulness.

The phenomenon of chronic, pointless meetings is also known as the Dilbert Meeting in some circles. Dilbert Meetings happen every day, wasting people's time and patience.

Meetings can be quite productive, but most organizers simply don’t take the steps to guarantee that a meeting will be useful. Here are 8 things you can try to help make your meetings more productive:

Have a clear agenda
What do you want to cover during the meeting and why are you holding it? Do you want to go over new ideas, or perhaps review some old ones? Prepare a clear agenda of things that you want to discuss during the meeting and hand it out in advance.

Don’t hold meetings just because your department always has biweekly meetings; only hold meetings because you need to and because you have a clear plan of what needs to be said and discussed.

Make sure that only attendees are people who need to be present
Don’t hinder the rest of your organization by dragging everybody into a meeting if only four or five people actually need to be there. If people other than the attendees need to be informed about what was discussed at the meeting then take notes and email it to them afterwards.

Establish objectives for the meeting
Establish clear objectives for what you want to get out of the meeting – the agenda covers what's going to be discussed during the meeting but your objectives cover what the discussion is going to accomplish. Discussion is great, but it’s not productive if it does not have a goal.

Here’s an example of a good goal for a production meeting for a multi-author blog: we’re meeting today to determine the schedule for all blog posts over the next six months. It clearly states what the discussion should work towards and makes the expectations for the meeting clear.

Have the attendees prepare in advance (if necessary)
If your meeting requires its attendees to present information and plans then you should require them to prepare materials in advance like handouts, PowerPoint presentations, and outlines.

Do you really want to sit through another meeting where you watch your attendees scrawl unintelligible impromptu graphs on the whiteboard instead of giving you the information in a neatly summarized handout beforehand? No? Then tell your attendees to prepare in advance.

Keep it short
Everybody has something to say – unfortunately there isn’t enough time in the day to listen to all of it. The law of diminishing returns applies to meetings too – the longer a meeting runs past a certain threshold, the less productive each additional minute becomes.

There are a number of things you can try to keep your meeting brief (time boxing, limited speaking time, etc…) but the most important thing is to do something to keep it short. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as the attendees and organizers of the meeting make a conscious effort to keep things brief.

Record key points and decisions
It’s crucial that key points, ideas, information, and action items are recorded during a meeting – attendees and other people influenced by what’s discussed during the meeting need to be able to go back and review what was discussed and more importantly, what was decided during the meeting.

Most people record meetings using hand-written outlines, which they often compile into typed notes; others sometimes record the audio of the meeting and use that to produce a written outline after the meeting has concluded. Again, it doesn’t matter what system you use as long as someone records what was discussed and decided during the meeting and distributes those notes to all of the other attendees and interested parties.

Create action items and assign them
The most important part about making a meeting productive is to make the attendees accountable for implementing the decisions rendered during the meeting. The best way to do this is to create "action items," actionable tasks that are assigned to some or all of the attendees.

Obviously action items must be recorded and distributed along with any notes from the meeting; it's important that you or one of the other attendees record to whom each action item has been assigned and when each action item is due. This kind of public assignment helps hold the attendees accountable for implementing the decisions rendered during a meeting.

Report progress and follow-up
Lastly, you want actively investigate the progress of the meeting's action items and to inform the other attendees of the progress of the action items that all of you agreed upon.

Post-meeting communication is simply another tool to help keep your meeting attendees accountable for implementing the decisions made during the meeting and it also helps eliminate future, unnecessary "progress meetings."

There are probably millions of other ways to help make meetings more productive, but I think these tips will produce the best return on your investment. If you have any other thoughts on the subject feel free to leave comments below.

-Aaron

12 Ways To Become an Utter Failure at Work

2008-07-08T22:59:00.003-05:00

Written on 7/09/2008 by Tim Brownson, of A Daring Adventure.

As a life coach I speak to lots of people about self-development. It’s one of the cool things about my job; I actually get paid to help people make their lives more fulfilling. However, every now and then somebody will say something along the lines of, “Yeah I know what you mean, but that sounds like really hard work.”

They’re absolutely right! Self-development is indeed a life long process but so is brushing your teeth, eating healthy food and breathing. Guess what else is tough - being miserable, unhappy and unsuccessful.

Do you think people with those traits got where they are by accident and taking things easy? Of course they didn't, they worked damn hard at it. They didn't become over night failures, they committed themselves to a lifetime of zero-growth and bitterness, especially in the workplace.

I wouldn’t normally do this for obvious reasons, but just in case you’d like to join their ranks, I’m going to offer you 12 tips that will guarantee a lifetime of misery at work.

Demoralize
Always make sure that the first thing you say when entering in the morning and the leaving the office in the evening brings everybody down. Examples could be “I see the economy has taken another turn for the worse”, “The CEO is planning another round of head cuts according to Sue in HR” and “I knew I shouldn’t have come to work with this bug the kids gave me, 3 people have died from it already in our neighborhood.”

Holidays
If you need a big day off, don’t risk booking it in advance. If you ask for July 4th off, management may say no. Phone in sick at the last minute (from the beach). Don’t worry; somebody will cover for you even if it means they have to leave their family to come into the office. It’s not a charity you know, and anyway it’s not your fault they only get to see their sick Grandpa once every 4 years.

Horde
If you have any ideas that will help all your colleagues perform more efficiently or be more successful, pretend you’re a squirrel and keep them to yourself. They’re your ideas; you earned, plagiarized or stole them. We’re not living in Russia or China or some other Commie country you know, nobody gives you hands out of cash. Let your motto be” “To have and to hold”.

Undermine
If one of your colleagues has a great idea in a meeting, never forget to ridicule it. Point out every way it can and will fail. Tell everybody how a similar suggestion failed in your last company and everybody lost their jobs, homes and ended up in jail. If it’s a really good idea, don’t be discouraged, just treat it as a challenge and undermine even harder.

If all else fails, tell them about how when you worked at Enron they had that very same idea. The gold standard is not just to get the idea thrown out, but the have the person that suggested it ridiculed and hopefully fired.

Gossip
Tell Ian and Bob that Jay thinks they’re both jerks. Then tell Amanda that Lucy fancies her boyfriend and has been making eyes at him. Then tell Jay that Ian slept with the boss’s wife at the Christmas party but told her his name was Jay. Send a letter to Bob swearing undying love and sign it Ian and so on and so forth. This stuff doesn’t have to be technically true, as long as you have a hunch, that makes it all perfectly legal and above board.

Brown Nose
Always leave the office 30 seconds after you manager and get there 30 seconds before he arrives. Everybody in the office will cotton on to what you’re doing, but the manager will be in blissful ignorance and think you’re committed to the company cause. Roll your eyes at the boss whilst shaking your head every time somebody leaves early or arrives late.

Undermine
Spend hours on Facebook, MySpace and dating sites looking for dirt on colleagues. When you find something, accidentally send an e-mail with the link to the entire company. If that’s too risky borrow somebody else’s computer or just print pictures off at home and surreptitiously stick them all over the office when it’s empty. Blame Colin from dispatch.

Porn
When surfing for porn, always make sure you’re logged in under somebody else’s username and password and preferably on their computer too.

Drinks
If you have a communal fresh coffee machine and you notice it’s getting low, make sure you top yours up quickly otherwise you may be the one to have to fill it up. If you have a fresh cup, simply pour that away and then finish off the good stuff. The same goes for the water bottle. It’s not your job to change it if it runs dry. Just make sure you fill 4 or 5 cups to take back to your desk when it gets very low.

Cell Phones
Never ever turn you phone off at a meeting even when requested to do so. If it rings, simply hold up your hand condescendingly indicating everybody needs to be quiet and nod sagely as your mum tells you that Aunt Enid has lost her reading glasses down the toilet again. If anybody else’s phone should ring, roll your eyes; sigh heavily and then say in a low but perfectly audible whisper “disgraceful”.

Deny
Admission is a sign of weakness. If you screw up blame somebody else, anybody else, everybody else. Good people to blame are anybody that no longer works in your office, the timid office mouse that never fights his or her corner or anybody that has been within 100 feet of your desk within the last 6 months.

So now you can see that being unsuccessful can be really hard work. These tips will help you get there, but they need to be fine-tuned and worked on for years and years. Of course you could do that or you could work on being the best person you can be. It really is your choice.

-Tim

Michael Jordan's 10 Secrets To Reaching the Top

2008-07-08T10:48:00.007-05:00

Written on 7/08/2008 by Alex Shalman, creator of the Practical Personal Development blog.

Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player that ever lived. Was he genetically predisposed to be faster and stronger, or was it his iron discipline that was responsible?

After completing my master's degree in Biomedical Science I can say, with some facts and knowledge to back it up, that genetics only partially added to the phenomenal talents of this outstanding athlete. He competed against people that were taller, stronger, faster, and younger than him. Despite the challenges he still came out on top. Let's take a look at the grains of wisdom that put him at the top of his game as well as his businesses.

Michael Jordan's 10 Success Secrets

Take Responsibility
"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen."
Throughout his life, Michael Jordan had the honorable quality of taking responsibility for his own destiny. That means that he took action while others paused to ask questions, gather more data, or consult experts. Not that he didn't have mentors, but essentially it was his wrists that snapped the ball into the hoop.

Give It A Try
"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."
One of the biggest causes of procrastination is the problem of hesitation. Sometimes people over think, and over analyze, which prevents them from taking that first step that will carry them one thousand miles. If you want to increase sales by trying a new technique, you will never know unless you try. This can apply to baking cakes, meeting singles, or anything that you can wrap your mind around.

Fail Freely
"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Can you believe that Michael Jordan missed so many shots and lost so many games? I thought he was the best! Well, he is indeed the best, and it's because he was willing to fail, and keep going. That allowed him to get past his plateaus and persevere. That's another big reason for procrastination. When we think we'll fail, we do not attempt. A good solution is to consider what the worst case scenario of failing would be, because once you do that, it's never as bad as when the scenario was an unknown. Worst-case scenario is not that you'll die, it's that you lived a miserable (or comfortable) life as a coward.

Commit Yourself
"The game is my wife. It demands loyalty and responsibility, and it gives me back fulfillment and peace."
Till death do we part, just me and my goal. I know in my heart that this is my role. When you give yourself fully and remove all other distractions you gain an invaluable level of attention to detail that will pool in resources you did not know you were capable of harnessing.

Enjoy Your Game
"Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game."
So many people get stuck in dead end, zero-sum, no fun jobs because they didn't find their love, or just simply don't have the knack for taking pleasure in what they have. Consider the fact that you spend more time in your place of work than you do in your place of worship and with your family combined. By not being excited about, or getting full enjoyment out of work, you are cheating yourself from having a life of design and a life of fulfillment. I don't have a solution for your life, but I think you know which sacrifices you need to make, and are willing to make, in order to have the life of your dreams become your reality.

Play To Win
"I play to win, whether during practice or a real game. And I will not let anything get in the way of me and my competitive enthusiasm to win."
Why bother playing the game of basketball, work, or life if you aren't planning to win? Do you even know what a statistically relevant way of measuring your personally defined "win" would look like? If you're in the game to make money does winning mean being the richest man in the world? If you're in the game for your family does that mean that you see them often and share the joys of life over a vibrant laugh? Whatever your game is, make sure you define what a win looks like, and play to win.

Be Selfish and Humble
"To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don't isolate."
Take notes from Michael Jordan, first be selfish until you get on top, and once you are on top be humble and grounded. Being selfish in how you jump over people and slam dunk in their face, whether you are an athlete or business person. In a family setting this would mean taking care of your personal health before worrying about the well-being of your family. If you let your health fail you are of no use, or even worse a burden, to your family. This is why in case of an air plane emergency they tell you to put the air mask on yourself first and then on your children.

Find Your Way Around
"Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."
Anything in life that is dear to us is worth so much because of the time and effort we put into acquiring it. This goes for championships, businesses, and most importantly our relationships. One thing that determines how hard we've had to work is the amount of obstacles that were thrown in our way. Next time there's an obstacle, don't let it hinder you, think about the fact that whatever you're trying to reach will be that much worth it on the other side.

Make Your Own Expectations
"If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome."
The number one thing that will literally ruin your life is if you live it by someone else's expectations. Every single person is different and has their own views on what's best, which follows what their goals are in this life. By listening to the voices of others, instead of your own voice, you are effectively submitting to live your life for the sake of accomplishing their goals. Set your own expectations, meet your own goals, and live your own extraordinary life (or don't).

Now, Take One Shot
"I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot . . . when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result."
The way this applies to life is quite simple. Much of the time we look too far into the future, while performing a task that needs our full attention right now. This act could take away our focus, paralyze us from taking action, and take away the pleasure of doing what is at hand. In life you can take one shot at a time, then another, and from this all your dreams will come true. At least that's what works for Michael Jordan.

If you enjoyed this article please vote for it on StumbleUpon, bookmark it on del.icio.us and Digg it. I'd appreciate it!

-Alex

Why Worry? It's Completely Unproductive

2008-07-08T07:40:00.006-05:00

Written on 7/08/2008 by Michael Miles, of Effortless Abundance.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere." ~Glenn Turner

We live in a culture where everyone seems to worry. Turn on the news – someone got shot, there’s mercury in the fish we eat, the cows have got BSE, a new super-flu is coming, terrorists are regrouping, … On and on it goes. If you take all of this stuff seriously, it’s likely that you’ll never go out, never eat, never travel, never take any kind of risk at all.

I’ve no doubt that people have always worried. Dale Carnegie’s book ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,’ which was published in 1944, is packed with stories from the early part of the twentieth century (and even earlier in some cases) about people who worried about all kinds of things. But in fact, as Carnegie so ably and amusingly points out through his many examples, worry makes no sense at all. Here are some reasons why worry really is a pointless and damaging activity. I suspect we all know this deep down, but a reminder doesn’t hurt.

Things never happen the way you imagine. When you worry, you are predicting the future. You are saying, "I know that things will turn out badly." But this just isn’t the case. You have no idea how the future is going to turn out, except to say that it will not be what you think it will be. So why worry?

Worry means you give away your power. Some people are so entrenched in worry that they cannot see any other way to live. But worry robs you of your power to be proactive. The truth is that you are in control and you can choose how to react to situations, so why choose to give that power away so easily and so unconsciously?

Worrying is completely unproductive. Why waste your energy doing something that gets you nowhere. On a treadmill at least you get some exercise, but worry is a truly pointless activity. Spend your time and energy on something more useful.

Worry distorts reality. We live in an age where people live longer, have better access to health care, have more opportunity for personal and professional growth, more chance to travel, greater access to information and lifelong education, and many other wonderful things. Yes, there are risks and potential dangers, but worry magnifies these disproportionately and blinds us to the wonders of our age.

Worrying is bad for your health. Worry is not a normal state of mind, and it adversely affects your health, even your physical health. When you worry, physical changes are happening in your body which are very damaging. It increases stress which can increase blood pressure, cause higher levels of stomach acid, cause muscle tension and headaches, among many other things.

Worry is not natural. Do little children worry? Do animals worry? Do all adults worry? There is nothing inherent in being human that means you have to worry. Worry is a pathology, a distortion of our natural, healthy state.

Do you know the most frequent instruction given in the Bible? Surprisingly, it is not ‘love one another’ or ‘love God’ or anything like that. It is simply ‘do not be afraid.’ I don’t know how many times it appears, but I’ve seen estimates between 100 and 366 times. You don’t have to be religious to realize that this is good advice.

So how can we break out of this worry habit? Like all habits, it might not be easy to do, but there are some clear, simple and effective steps you can take to eliminate worry from your life.

Realize that you are in control. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey tells us that the first step to a better life is the realization that we are free to choose how to react to circumstances. Worry is a choice – it’s inside our own head and, as such, it is within the sphere of our own influence.

Recognize that worry is a habit. Like all habits, there is a momentum to worry, and it might not be easy to break away from this, especially if you’ve been a worrier all your life. But it’s possible to change any habit.

Keep things in perspective. E. Joseph Crossman said, "If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today." Are you still worrying about those things? Will all this stuff matter a 100 years from now?

Face your fears. Nelson DeMille said that "Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face." After you do something that scares you, you’ll probably find it wasn’t as bad as you thought. With time, all your worry will dissipate.

Stop trying to be in control of everything. You cannot control the whole world. Things happen that are truly outside our circle of influence, and so we need to relax and accept that sometimes things just happen as they will. This is part of life, and worry will not change it one little bit.
Stop taking yourself so seriously. If you fail, so what? If you screw up, is it the end of the world? Are you really so important that the world will stop turning if you get things wrong? Life is not that serious.

Finally, one of my favorite quotes from the master of quotes, Mark Twain. "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." Worry is a dangerous and poisonous thing. Don’t let it eat away at you. Take Dale Carnegie’s advice – stop worrying and start living!

-Michael