Dumb Little Man - Tips for Life

Have You Found Your Calling in Life?

2012-02-10T07:21:00.006-06:00

One of the questions I tend to get asked frequently by people who start reading my blog is “How do I find my passion?” or some variation of that question. It’s a tough question to answer because there’s no real formula for it. It’s not “if you do A, you’ll find B.” It’s a question that requires you to look within and usually it’s the start of a lengthy, but very fulfilling journey.

While I haven’t quite figured out if there really is a formula for finding your passion, I am starting to get a sense for how you know you’ve found it.

Time Ceases to Exist or Just Flies
The other day I was out in front of my parents house skateboarding. I usually listen to music while I skateboard and before I knew it 40 minutes had gone by and my playlist was finished. I had entered a state of “flow” and the idea for this post actually came to me in that exact moment. I was so caught up in what I was doing that my sense of time had become distorted. Look for when and where this happens in your life and make note of it.

You no longer distinguish between work and play
It’s said that if you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life. When I ran the the travel blog I was working on, with the exception of meetings I had to attend every few weeks, I rarely saw it as work. It was more of an opportunity for creative expression.

My friend David might as well be labeled the Picasso of of Powerpoint when you look at things like the Anti-Resume. But talk to him about the process of putting this stuff together and he doesn’t see it a work. When you look at your work and you feel like a kid in candy store or a five year old in a tub of legos, you’ve probably found your calling.

You look forward to to every single day
I think that the 8 hour work day doesn’t make any sense. This structure of work has caused far too many people to live for the weekends. That means you only look forward to 2/7th of your life. I don’t know about you, but I want more out of life than a fraction of what’s available. When you look forward to every single day, it’s a sign that you’ve found your calling.

You’re addicted to whatever it is you love
I’m an addict. It’s just the way I’m built. When I love something I want it to be part of my life as much as possible. The pursuit of waves has just amplified that addiction. Every wave, and every turn is like the stroke of a paintbrush allowing me to paint my life into a work of art that I’ll look back on and think “ this belongs in a museum.” Look for your addictions (as long as they’re not the kind that kill you)

You’re inexplicably happy
You don’t need a reason to pursue a passion. I can’t tell you why I want to surf the world. I just do. It sounds like an amazing journey and something tells me I’ll find some answers along the way.

Keep your fingers on the pulse of the moments in your life that make you feel like this. Those are the signals that will let you know you’ve found your calling in life. Class dismissed.

Written on 2/10/2012 by Srinivas Rao. Srinivas is the author of the Skool of Life, where he writes about surfing, personal development, and things you never learned in school but should have. If you’re ready to to become a student, check out his FREE course on the 7 most valuable lessons they never taught in school. You can follow him on twitter @skooloflife.

Photo Credit: postscapes

5 Myths Haunting Your Healthy Foods

2012-02-03T10:03:00.004-06:00

These days, eating healthy has become a curiously difficult task. Despite the fact that the canons of healthy eating have not changed in centuries, the proliferation of health food products has continued unabated for years. It’s become a crisis of abundance.

However, just because a product occupies shelf space in a boutique food store doesn’t mean it’s any better for you than its generic counterpart. Advertisers are very aware of the powers of “mood affiliation”, which is the tendency to associate familiar claims with one another. For example, consumers are very likely to believe a food that has no cholesterol is very likely to have no fat as well, even though the two are unrelated.

This cognitive bias allows the food industry to make a variety of claims that confer fictitious health benefits, often resulting in higher prices and no value to you.

Let’s take a look at the perpetrators.

Deception #1: Excessive Use of the Word “No” on Labels.
The expectation that health foods contain no man-made ingredients is strongly held, and not without reason. However, health food manufacturers are much more likely to emphasize the lack of certain ingredients on their label, even when their commercial counterparts have the same qualities. For example, a Stanford professor compared the labels of 12 different brands of potato chips, and found that organic and specialty chips were 6 times more likely to emphasize the lack of ingredients such as soy, trans-fats, and cholesterol, even though this is just as true for Lays and Ruffles. There was no difference in health quality between the two groups of chips.

Deception 2: Organic Food Is Always Better
Despite common perceptions, there’s not a whole lot of evidence that the nutritional quality of organic food is much higher than non-organic food. This is because the term organic itself refers to particular manufacturing protocols used to make the food, and not necessarily the end product itself.

However, people frequently commit attribution errors when making judgments about organic food. A study conducted at the University of Michigan found that people assume an organic product has less-calories than a similar non-organic product, which causes people eating processed organic food to consume more calories than they would have otherwise. In some cases the inferred benefits of eating organic extend beyond nutrition, and gives people a belief that they need to exercise less because they eat organic.

Deception 3: Fair Trade = Healthy
The Fair Trade certification industry is guilty of two swindles:
- #1: It doesn’t help poor people (much).
- #2: It has little relation to the nutritional content of the food.
The Fair Trade certification industry is complicated to judge, mostly because it’s a collection of heterogeneous agencies that have different criteria for assigning its badge. It’s also become a profit channel more so than a statement of an organization’s ethics.

However, it’s important to realize that most Fair Trade certification agencies (supposedly) grant their certification based on production inputs that bear no direct relation to the quality of food being produced, such as worker treatment and eco-friendly business practices. Much like the organic label, people mistakenly assume that Fair Trade means a food has less calories and more nutrients because it’s Fair Trade, which isn’t true.

Deception #4: Grass-Fed Beef
Grass-fed beef has become popular in America, and it’s purported benefits are that it has a more beneficial ratio of Omega-3/Omega-6 fatty acids, a higher concentration of anti-oxidants like superoxide dismutase, and lower levels of nitrates, which creates healthier beef.

These health benefits are either non-existent or exaggerated.

It’s true that grass-fed beef has a higher concentration of omega-3 fatty acids and anti-oxidants than grain-fed beef, but the total amount of these and other nutrients in any kind of beef is very small compared to plant sources. To get the recommended 1.6 grams of omega-3 fatty acid a day from grass-fed beef alone, you’d have to eat 4.6 pounds of beef a day. The biggest health benefits of beef is its high protein content, and the minerals iron and zinc, which have a very high bio-availibility when consumed from meat. The differences between grass and grain-fed beef for these nutrients are not different from one another.

And while it’s true that grass-fed beef has a higher concentration of “good” fat like conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), these observations are typically made with raw meat, and it’s usually lost after cooking. Similarly, the nitrate content in beef is influenced by many variables in the production process, such as the fertilizer used in the soil, run off from nearby water sources, and the moisture level the grass when it's eaten.

Deception #5: Going gluten-free is good for everyone
About 1% of the western population has Coeliac’s disease, which is an autoimmune disorder caused by a genetic modification to a peptide in the intestine which breaks down when it comes in contact with gluten based molecules. The consumption of gluten causes an inflammatory response within the intestine when it’s ingested.

If you are one of these people, by all means, avoid gluten. You’re allergic to it.

If you’re not one of these people, relax a little bit, and do yourself a favor by being more discerning about food labels. It’s true that gluten-intolerance is showing up with an increasing regularity, but it’s still a small percentage of the population and partly caused by people’s increased awareness of it.

For the majority of the population, the presence or absence of gluten has little bearing on the quality of food being eaten. It’s the diet fad du jour, but any diet approach that exclusively emphasizes a single variable is too simplistic.

If you doubt this is the case for gluten, then consider the previous “single variable” diet fads popularized in the past: lactose, fat, sugar, etc. They’ve all been proven wrong.

Conclusion
The bottom line in all these myths is that people mistakenly assume various certifications as proxies for nutritional quality, but their presence bears no meaning to the quality of food you eat when you hold other things equal. The best way to ensure you’re eating right is to consistently consume a diet of fresh foods with minimally processed ingredients, and spare yourself the confusion of deciphering the legitimacy of the latest fads of the health food industry.

References Used:

Shan, Lu, et. al. “Structural Basis for Gluten Intolerance in Celiac Sprue”. Science. September, 2002, vol. 297 pgs. 2275-2279.
Aggarwal, Sarrabh. “Screening for Celiac Disease in Average-Risk and High-Risk Populations.” Therapeutic Advances in Gastroentology. January 2012, Volume 5, pgs. 37-47. URL: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3263981/ ?tool=pubmed
Schuldt, Jonathan, et. al. “The Organic Path to Obesity? Organic Claims Influence Calorie Judgments and Exercise Recommendations.” Judgment and Decision Making. June 2010, Vol. 5, pp. 144-150.
Williams, Christine. “Nutritional Quality of Organic Food: Shades of Grey or Shades of Green?” Proceedings of the Nutrition Society. 2002, pgs. 19-24.
Comerfod, John. “Telling the Grass-Fed Beef Story.” URL: http://www.das.psu.edu/research-extension/beef/pdf/ Telling%20the%20Grass.pdf
Blackman, Allen, et. al. “Producer Level Benefits of Sustainability Certification.” Conservation Biology. December 2011, volume 25, pgs. 1176-1185.
Stoltenow, Charlie, et. al. “Nitrate Poisoning in Livestock.” North Dakota State University, September 1998.
Daley, Cynthia, et. al. “A Review of Fatty-Acid Profiles and Antioxidant Content in Grass-Fed and Grain-Fed Beef.” Nutrition Journal. March 2010.
Katz, David. “Is Gluten-Free Just A Fad?” Fooducate.
Schuldt, Jonathon. “The “Fair Trade” Effect: Health Halos From Social Ethics Claims.” Social Psychological and Personality Science. January 2012.

Written on 2/3/2012 by Jonathan Bechtel. Jonathan is the founder of Health Kismet, a green superfood that condenses 35 raw greens, herbs, and probiotics into a powder that can be mixed with a drink or other food supplement. He blogs about health, diet, nutrition, and culture at blog.healthkismet.com.

Photo Credit: Simon Shek

Four Steps To Rescue Stray New Year Resolutions

2012-02-02T08:55:00.004-06:00

Looks like it is that time of year when many New Year resolutions that people set have already strayed. Attempts to kick a smoking habit for example, might have seemed successful for a few weeks but once the realities and stresses of coming back from the holidays have resurfaced, some people may have caved into the nicotine again.

Of course there is the usual health promises that get broken too. According to the fitness industry, a lot of gym memberships are sold from December to February but gym attendance significantly drops shortly afterwards when people realize that working out involves a lot of physical work.

This happens year after year for pretty well all types of New Year resolutions including health, financial and habit related ones like smoking. If this has already happened to you or if you are on the verge of letting some of your New Year resolutions go astray, here are some steps you can take to hopefully salvage them.

Think About The Underlying Reasons Behind Each New Year Resolution
First, rethink the underlying reasons behind each of your resolutions just to better understand why you set them in the first place. Are they still valid or important to you?

Sometimes a New Year resolution might be just a ‘nice to do’ rather than a ‘need to do’ and is not really all that important to your life after some time passes. If this is the case, drop the resolution to focus on more important things. If the reasons are still solid, then keep the resolutions for the next step.

Revamp Each New Year Resolution Into A Well Defined Goal
Now for the resolutions that are truly important to you, revamp them into well defined goals. Getting in shape for example is far too general. Instead, set such a resolution as a realistic goal you can measure like losing ten pounds during each remaining month in 2012 as this is something you can measure. Make sure that your defined goals are realistic by seeing what other people have done and have been successful with similar goals.

Plan Out The Steps Required
Now that you have the end results of your goals in mind, plan out the steps that you actually have to do each week in order to achieve them. This can be setting definite time periods during the week to work out at the gym or taking a course in something that will help you achieve a certain goal.

Physically enter these steps each week into your calendar just like any other important appointments that you may have each week. This must be on something that you will be referring to each day whether it is a physical calendar or electronic one in your computer or personal device.

Monitor The Progress Of Your Goals
Most goals that were previously set as New Year resolutions take time and effort to achieve. They cannot be done overnight. But accepting the fact that many of your goals will take continuous work over time, you will be able to monitor your progress over the course of the year.

If you do happen to stray a bit, take immediate action to make up for it. Track your progress and adjust your steps and goals as required. Sometimes our initial planning might be too ambitious and we have to adjust things to make them workable.

By turning your New Year resolutions into longer term, measurable goals over the entire year with actual steps and committed time allocated for them, you will be able to rescue any that strayed.

If you feel brave and honest enough to reveal any of your New Year resolutions that have already strayed, feel free to share them below and what you might do to rescue them.

Good luck!

Written on 2/2/2012 by Clint Cora. Clint is a motivational speaker, author and Karate World Champion. See his free 3-part Personal Development Video Series on how to expand your comfort zone to conquer even your most daunting goals in life.

Photo Credit: Allison Carter

Finding the Courage to Stay the Course

2012-01-30T12:06:00.003-06:00

Anytime you decide on the pursuit of an important goal, you’ll be faced with a series of challenges. Peaks, valleys and plateaus are par for the the course. But the thing that separates the people who make it from the ones that don’t is the courage to stay the course.

At the start of any new endeavor most of us look forward to every single day with a child like excitement. We see infinite possibilities and the future appears bright. It seems as though there is absolutely nothing that can get in our way. We feel almost invincible and the possibility of failure doesn’t even occur to us. We blow through every obstacle with a sense that we’re invincible.

The Wall
Then we hit the first real roadblock. Our excitement diminishes and turns into frustration. The pursuit of that goal makes us feel as though we’re hitting our heads against a brick wall. We keep on hitting our heads until we realize that it doesn’t lead to anything other than a really bad headache, and the possibility of failure emerges. We wonder if maybe we should just quit in order to avoid the misery that failing will bring with it. But you realize deep down inside that anything worth doing requires the courage to fail. So you keep going.

The Plateau
In next phase of reaching that goal we hit what appears to be a plateau. It seems as though no real progress is being made. We go through the motions and everyday we think about quitting, but there’s a little flicker inside that lingers from the fire that burns so deep inside us when we want something so bad. We search for the courage to stay the course, and struggle to find it.

The Doubt
It seems like all we can really see is how far we still have to go. But if we take a look back, the view suddenly changes. Instead of seeing how far we have to go, we see how far we’ve come, and hope resurfaces. As a result we find the courage to stay the course and we keep going.

Soon, the voices of dream crushers, nay-sayers and self doubt emerge and we become tempted to listen. We start to wonder if maybe they’re right and that we are in fact losing this fight. But something inside tells us to drown at that noise and we find the courage to stay the course.

The finish line seems as though it’s nowhere in site and even the supposed light at the end of a dark tunnel seems to be a far fetched fantasy of wild eyed crazy dreamers. It doesn’t seem as though it’s too long before you really hit rock bottom. But there’s a beauty in rock bottom that gives you an opportunity to play the game as if you’ve got nothing to lose. So you look deep inside, and find the courage to stay the course.

It’s in those moments when you really want to give up that the biggest breakthroughs, flashes of insight and moments of brilliance occur. But there’s only one way to find out. That’s by finding the courage to stay the course.

Written on 1/30/2012 by Srinivas Rao. Srinivas is the author of the Skool of Life, where he writes about surfing, personal development, and things you never learned in school but should have. If you’re ready to to become a student, check out his FREE course on the 7 most valuable lessons they never taught in school. You can follow him on twitter @skooloflife.

Photo Credit: hectorir

How to Deal with Difficult People and Have Constructive Conflict

2012-01-28T10:32:00.005-06:00

Life and relationships aren't always perfect. Take a minute to think of some difficult people you have to deal with in your life? These may be people you work with, the in-laws that come to town throughout the year, or your neighbor who can’t seem to take a hint. For whatever reason, you're just not jiving with these people.

Do you flee? Or, do you get flexible and learn to interact?

When we encounter these extreme personalities it can feel like they are trying to make our life miserable, but more often than not, it’s simply learning about these peoples’ tendencies and how to interact in a more tactful way. Some conflicts are unavoidable and shouldn’t be smoothed over or suppressed, though it’s learning to deal with our differences, and how to understand, resolve, and learn from these interactions that’s important.

Tips to dealing with problem people

Learn to recognize different personalities
First and foremost, we must develop self-awareness about our own personality tendencies. Are you more aggressive or passive? Are you more of an introvert or extrovert?

Once we know our personality tendencies we can learn to recognize other peoples’ personalities and adapt and interact in a more effective way.

Learn how to communicate with different personality types
When we are dealing with different people it requires we approach them in the way they want to be treated. Some people need more detail and clarity in communication. Some people are very direct and just want the facts, and others are more focused on relationships.

Consider how you can communicate verbally and through body language in the most effective way with these different types of people to build rapport and make them feel understood.

Know who triggers you and why
When we know who we tend to have conflict with and what it is that leads us to get frustrated, we can begin to be more proactive. We can learn to deal with this person more effectively by managing our own emotions and not be the target of their drama and unrest.

Learn to focus on strengths and positive qualities
A great way to deal with people more effectively in any relationship context is to focus on their positive qualities and to help them accentuate these when you can. Give people compliments, offer them recognition, and help them to use their strengths. We can empower others instead of knocking them down, and by doing so have a more positive influence and interaction.

Just because you apply these ideas doesn’t mean that people will always respond in a positive manner. The only person you have control is yourself, so to make sure that an unhealthy conflict doesn’t ensue work to build these traits.

Managing conflict is being there with:

Availability: Accept full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, actions, values, and perceptions that you contribute to the conflict.

Flexibility: Offer a willingness to make some degree of change, so that both people can move toward a joint solution. Compromise may be required.

Specificity: Seek to focus the conflict of real, significant issues that point toward a practical outcome that is within the range of responsibility. Don’t get personal.

Clarity: When the message intended and the impact received are nearly the same, communication is achieved. For this to happen, words, tone of voice, facial expression, posture must all be congruent with each other and context with they are said.

Here are some signs of constructive and healthy conflict.
You’ll know you’re on the right track when the following ideas are present.
Conflict is constructive when:

It opens up issues of importance, resulting in their clarification.
Results in the solution of problems
Increases the involvement of individuals in issues of importance to them
Causes authentic communication to occur
Serves as a release to pent-up negative emotions
Helps build cohesiveness among people, and allows them to learn about each other
Helps individuals grow and learn to become better in the future
We can learn a lot about ourselves and grow as a person when we work through conflict. It can also open up new possibilities and allow us to think differently about our beliefs and expectations.

Developing patience and tact to deal with others more effectively is a skill that can be applied in many areas of life. Continuing developing your ability to connect and influence others in a positive way.

Written on 1/28/2012 by Joe Wilner. Joe Wilner is a coaching and writer who manages www.shakeoffthegrind.com, where he inspires and empowers people to live a full, meaningful, and thriving life. You can also follow him on Twitter at @shakethegrind.

Photo Credit: spaceamoeba

7 Habits of Highly Excellent People

2012-01-27T04:16:00.000-06:00

Are you driven in life? Do you love to excel? I believe all of us do. We are born to be the best we can be and to make the best out of our lives.

When I was in high school, I wasn't exactly the kind of student teachers would like. I was truant, didn't do my homework and did badly on my examinations. I was lazy and unmotivated in school. However, after a while I realized that this wasn't who I wanted to be. This wasn't the life I saw myself leading. People around me were judging and negative, and I had enough of all of that crap. I had enough of being discriminated against and I decided to turn everything around from then on.

So when I entered University, I began to get my act together. For the 3 years I was in Business School, I was on the Dean's List (an honor roll for the top students in the faculty). I eventually graduated as the top student in my specialization of marketing and was awarded with accolades for being the most outstanding student. When I started working, I entered one of the top companies for marketers, a Fortune 100 company, and led my business portfolios to record breaking results in the few years I worked there.

Then 2 years ago, I left my regular job to pursue my true passion in personal development. I started The Personal Excellence Blog where I share my best advice and help others achieve personal excellence and live their best lives. It has quickly established itself as a trusted and coming-to-age personal development blog, having 3-4k readers a day and being featured by prominent media, including CNN.com.

After years of striving for personal excellence, working with top people in their fields and observing top people in their fields, I realized that there are universal habits that enable people to achieve excellence. As Aristotle would put it, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”.

These habits aren't "ingrained", or "genetic"; they are habits that anyone like you and me can cultivate. Just like Stephen Covey's 7 habits will help anyone become highly effective, these 7 habits of highly excellent people will help anyone become excellent. I find that as long as anyone practices these habits, excellence is always a given. And I'm more happy to share with you these habits in this article today. Here they are:

Have the end in mind.
This is the same habit as Stephen Covey's 1st habit, and with good reason. Everything starts with the end - the goal or the vision you want to fulfill. If you don't know what the end is, then there's no way of getting there, is there? Imagine getting into a cab. What do you first do when you get into the cab? Maybe you say hi to the taxi driver, then what? You tell the driver where you want to go, so that he can take you there. Similarly, you need to know what is the end you want to reach in order to get there.

Hence, it's critical that you form clear goals of what exactly you want. What do you want? What is the end you envision? What are your personal goals and dreams for yourself? Personally, I have a vision board beside my bed where I have my dreams plastered over it. These dreams include developing The Personal Excellence Blog into one of the top personal development blogs, running my international personal excellence school, speaking to tens and thousands of people in seminars, achieving world peace, finding my soul mate, hitting the best seller's list with my books, and so on. These dreams remind me of what exactly I want and drive me forward every day.

Do what you love.
When you do something you love, it's like you have unlimited fuel that keeps you going- day after day. The hunger to excel in it is just greater than if you do anything else. Every day, I'm endlessly driven to build and write at my blog, because it's for a cause I believe in. Helping people grow and live their best life is the one thing I know I want to be doing for the rest of my life.

I have a coaching client who has tried to start 4-5 different ventures before (one at a time), and he was never able to succeed in any of them. Why was this the case? It wasn't that he was stupid, or that he was lazy. Ultimately, the reason was because he wasn't passionate about the things he was pursuing - he was just chasing money. The nature of the business didn't appeal to him emotionally. This is not to say starting businesses because you want to earn money is bad - all I'm saying is it's important that you love what you want to do first and foremost.

What is it you love to do? If you are not sure what your passion is yet, then what is something you are most eager to try at the moment? If you can choose to do anything, what will it be? Your love and interest are fuels that will drive you towards excellence.

Work harder than anyone else.
I don't know of anyone who has achieved excellent results who hasn't worked hard for them. A big component of excellence is hard work. Sheer, unadulterated hard work. We can streamline processes, choose effective strategies and steps, but ultimately the hard work will still have to come in. Fortunately, if you are doing what you love (step #2), work wouldn't even be work at all.

In the past year since I set up The Personal Excellence Blog, I have spent countless hours, including weekends, building up the blog and writing high quality articles for readers out there. All these have paid off in their own way. I'm not saying you should abandon all social life because that defeats the purpose, but you will have to dedicate yourself to making your business a success. This year in 2010, I intend to increase my efforts even more compared to 2009, and I know it's going to pay off.

Make use of every moment.
Every moment counts. Excellent people know that time is highly valuable. There's this quote by Donald Trump which I read in one of his books, and I absolutely love it. He said that time is more precious than money, because you can earn back money, but you can't get back time. That is absolutely true.

Hence, I'm always making sure that I'm maximizing every moment. If I'm commuting over a distance, I'll pick up a book or listen to a podcast. If I'm out waiting for a friend, I'll take the chance to do something meaningful for the time being. If there are some pockets of time, I'll take out my laptop and do some work.

Note that this habit doesn't mean working like a hog, 24x7. That wouldn't be a true application of this habit. Making use of every moment also refers to knowing when to rest and rejuvenate when it's needed, because this will help us walk the longer mile on the path of excellence.

Take action to achieve your results.
Living a life of excellence means being a proponent of action. Many people often say "The sky is the limit". My personal philosophy is the sky isn't the limit; we are the limit. Whatever we do or don't do will determine how much we can grow or achieve. If we want to grow and achieve great results, we need to take the equivalent actions to reach the results we want.

For example, many people agree that having press and media feature their business can greatly benefit them, but they believe it only happens when you are prominent enough. While that's usually true, I refuse to let that stop me. I took proactive steps to reach out to the press, writing my own press release and creating a strong story angle so the press would want to feature me. To date, I've been featured in the press for almost 20 times. To read more about how to be featured by the press, you can check out my guest post at Problogger: How To Get Featured By the Press (Repeatedly) Even If Your Blog is New.

Continuously upgrade yourself.
Learning never stops. There is always something we can do to become better. We may have great skills and knowledge today, but no matter how great they may be, our skills need to be continuously developed. Excellent people are always learning, reading, exposing themselves to new knowledge, new people, new contexts and developing their skills. If you have played role-playing games or RPGs before, you would know that the characters need to be leveled up to get stronger and progress to the next level. Likewise, we need to always be leveling ourselves up to achieve excellence.

Ask for feedback.
No matter how much we try to improve, we will have blind spots. Blind spots are things about ourselves that we don't know about, and we can't improve on things that we are blind to. Asking for feedback is one of the fastest and most effective ways to improve.

For everything I do, I make it a point to gather feedback. For example, when I was in my previous job, I would often ask my manager and peers for feedback on how I could improve. With my friends, sometimes I would have a random feedback session with them on how I can do things better. As I run The Personal Excellence Blog, I would invite my readers to send in their feedback, either through comments, emails or private messages. Sometimes the feedback is predictable, sometimes it's not and many times it leads to an epiphany on some level.

Strive for #1 in what you do.
... Wait, you didn't think that there would just be 7 habits in achieving excellence, did you?

There's 1 final habit to become a highly excellent person - that is, to strive for #1 in what you do. No one's going to achieve excellence if they aim for average, or mediocrity. Excellence comes from aiming for the top - being #1. This #1 should be better than whoever is #1 at the moment, because it will spur you on to work even harder. You will only achieve great results when you set high standards for yourself.

For example, I aim for The Personal Excellence Blog to be the top personal development blog, both in terms of the quality of content and traffic. Whenever I write my articles, I make sure I'm giving the best value that can ever be offered in that topic. Because of this, readers recognize the value of my articles and have spread the word to their friends and family. This has helped the blog to grow quickly and establish itself as a trusted and coming-of-age blog in personal excellence.

Closing
These habits have helped me to achieve excellence in my life, and as long as all of us practice them, we will achieve excellent results. Feel free to share your comments - I'll love to hear what you have to say. If you have any questions, I'll love to answer them where possible too. I don't claim to have the answers, but I'll most certainly offer my perspective and help where I can.

Written on 4/24/2010 by Celestine Chua. Celes writes at The Personal Excellence Blog, where she shares her best advice on achieving personal excellence. Her blog is read by thousands a day and has been featured by CNN, Today, and other prominent media. Get her RSS feed here and add her on Twitter @celestinechua.

Photo Credit: Grégoire Lannoy

10 Life Lessons I've Learned in My First 30 Years

2012-01-25T07:57:00.002-06:00

Many people cringe as they approach the age of 30. For some reason, these milestones tend to get people thinking: Am I old? What should I have done differently? Am I really happy with this person I married?

Second guessing is normal and I don't have to remind you of the 20/20 hindsight rule. However, as I approach 30, I'm taking a different tact. I am viewing age as a positive simply because I have learned a ton of lessons that not only help define me, but will make future years enormously successful - emotionally, professionally, and socially.

Often times we don’t realize how powerful our lives can be until we reflect and share our experiences. That is why I took some time to write and submit this article; I want to reflect on my life and be sure to enjoy the lessons learned instead of regretting whatever outcomes I didn't like at the time.

So here goes!

Life Lesson #1 – Let it go.
Anger is never just anger. Anger is a cover up for fear, hurt, or disappointment. I can’t tell you the number of days I stressed myself out in my 20’s because I was angry at another person and did not want to forgive them. I literally made myself sick over it. The ironic thing about anger is that the joke is on the angry person. When you're angry, it hurts you more because you have to spend your precious time and energy holding on to negative energy. Sadly, that negative energy often blocks the positive energy from coming into your life. So let it go so that you can let that positive light in.

Appreciate the person that you're angry with and learn to live with them the way they are. If someone is constantly upsetting you, appreciate the fact that you are strong enough to disassociate yourself from them. You don't need to stick around!

Life Lesson #2 – It’s really not about you.
When loved ones, co-workers, or even strangers say and do hurtful things, many times it is really not about you. People in this world have some serious issues. And, because they don’t deal with their issues, they project those issues onto you. The mother who thinks she is the worst mom will project and tell another mom how bad their kid is. The teen who thinks she is ugly will project and make fun of another teen. The boss who can’t manage his team will try to micromanage your work. So the next time someone does something hurtful to you, remember two things, they act like that towards other people as well, and it’s not about you!!

Life Lesson #3 – Others have gone through the same problems that you have today.
This is one I am still working on because I am a pretty private person. But I have to believe that when you go through things, one of the main reasons is to help others at one point and time through the same obstacle. The problem is that everyone wants to put on the mask that their life is grand, secretly hiding away any perfections. If no one knows your true journey, they can’t seek you out for help. It’s not an easy thing to do; it’s not like your Uncle Joe shouts out to everyone ‘Hey Everyone, I’m in foreclosure, now let’s eat.’ BUT, if he did, he would attract others that have been through the same experience, and could change a life for the better.

Life Lesson #4 – Enjoy it now.
As I look back at my last 29 years of life, there were so many special moments that came and went. I wish I would of sat back and enjoyed the moments more. Absorb the good times because they are the first things you forget.

Life Lesson #5 – Power of Persistence
There is something about the power of daily focused effort that seems to be a common theme in successful people. It’s the difference between ball players and NBA players, the difference between a writer and an author. While everyone else is watching TV the ‘persisters’ are making daily deposits towards the life of their dreams. Are you? When I look back, the times that I felt most accomplished were when I applied daily effort towards a goal and achieved it.

Life Lesson #6 – I get it now when people talk about having passion as a requirement for excellence.
If you want to excel as a fashion designer, working towards that goal should generally win over other other distractions. When presented with the opportunity to watch TV or hang out with friends instead of working to, if you constantly choose those distractions over working on fashion, you must consider that fashion is not your passion. I am not saying that you can't relax, but I'm saying that before you choose a life goal or a 'passion', be sure it's something that you, in your heart, really enjoy and love doing.

Life Lesson #7 – Relationships can be your greatest teacher.
I feel that everyone should do a lessons learned exercise after each relationship AND after every couple of years in a marriage. Each relationship is a reflection of yourself (whether good or bad). Subconsciously it’s a reflection of our deepest insecurities and needs. And if you really take the time to reflect the good or bad times, it is a window into your soul. Taking the time to review your past will be time well spent.

Life Lesson #8– Don’t sleep on the power of the internet
There are thousands upon thousands of people making a good amount of money online. The BEST thing about online business is that is has no face. So you can no longer say your being judged by your race, background, lack of a degree, etc. The internet levels the playing field. Quality content speaks louder than your religion, skin color, etc. Start looking into the power of it today.

Life Lesson #9 – Don’t be a“put off’ person.
I spent many years putting off things because I was waiting for the situation to get better or for 'something' to happen first. News Flash – I bet you can think of a hundred reasons to keep living how you are today and not changing; SOMETHING will always be in the way or be a reason to delay. Don’t put off your happiness. If you can do something that makes you happy today, without ruining the lives of others, then do it.

Life Lesson #10 – What you say/write is your own lesson.
As I write to you, I write to myself because what comes out of us either verbally or in the written form is often the thing very thing that we (ourselves) need to work on.

Thanks for taking the time to read. While I love the fact that I was able to share my outlook with the readers of DLM, this simple list has helped me put my life into perspective and it has raised my awareness to areas that I need to constantly work on. Where is your list? Is it only in your mind and easily forgotten and overridden?

Written by Nashunda Bolden. Nashunda doesn't have a website or anything to sell. She just wanted to share her life with us.

Photo Credit: Mr.Thomas

How to Build and Stick to Your Exercise Routine

2012-01-24T02:39:00.000-06:00

Most of us need to exercise more. Being active isn’t just important when you’re trying to lose weight – exercising regularly also means you’ll have a decreased risk of heart disease, diabetes, strokes and even some cancers.

Perhaps you’ve tried getting into exercise in the past, but you always find yourself slipping back into your old habits. You might manage to get to the gym three times a week at first, but soon, you’re back to going a couple of times a month at best.

But you’re not lazy and you don’t lack willpower. All you need is an exercise routine that will actually work.

Here’s how:

Your Routine Needs to Suit You
Even if you played a lot of sport in college, you might struggle to exercise today. That’s because your lifestyle’s changed: you may have kids, a busy job, even a health condition that makes it tough to do certain types of exercise.

Your routine needs to work for you. Don’t feel that you have to stick to some “perfect” exercise plan from a magazine; instead, find ways to incorporate exercise into your life with as little disruption to your day as possible. That might mean working out in your lunch break, or walking/cycling to your workplace, instead of trying to get to the gym at 6pm.

Don't Shoot for the Moon
When you’re fired up for a new goal, it’s tempting to go all-out in pursuit of it. When it comes to exercise, though, you need to start small and gradually build up. If you try to run for an hour every day having never run before, you’re (a) going to get discouraged when you only manage five minutes and (b) likely to injure yourself.

Any exercise is better than none. Try starting with just 5 - 10 minutes of cardio activity, and add a little more every week. For moderate-intensity activity (the kind that burns fat and keeps you healthy), a good rule of is that you should be working hard enough that you can’t sing the words to a song, but you can hold a conversation.

Have a Minimum Target and Ideal Target
However motivated you are, there’ll be days when nothing seems to go right. Perhaps you’ve got a cold, or you’re really busy at work, or you forgot your exercise kit when you hurried out of the house in the morning.

This is when a minimum target comes in handy. Perhaps you’d ideally like to do a total of 40 minutes cardio, plus some weight training: but you’ll settle for a minimum of 20 minutes cardio.

You can still check off your exercise for the day, meaning you won’t end up thinking “I’ve failed, so I might as well just give up now.”

Track Your Workouts
Keep a record of your exercise. That could mean writing down brief details of what you did during each session, and how you felt afterwards, or it might simply mean putting a check (or a gold star if you want!) on your calendar.

Keeping track helps you stay motivated: if you can see an unbroken string of days when you managed to exercise, you’ll be loath to break the pattern. You may also spot patterns emerging: perhaps you find it tough to exercise at the weekends, for instance.

Switch it Around
Don’t get stuck in a rut with your exercise. If you always use the same cardio machine at the gym and always lift the same weights, you’ll find yourself getting bored. You may also run into problems if your favorite machine isn’t available, or if you can’t get to the gym at all.

Try out new types of exercise every few weeks. That might mean going for a jog, cycling, swimming, dancing ... anything new. As well as stopping you from getting bored, and helping to make your routine flexible, this also ensures that you keep getting fitter (if you do just one type of exercise, your body will eventually adapt to it, and you won’t see such good results).

Are you trying to get into a regular exercise routine? Share your tips – or your struggles – in the comments below.

Written on 1/24/2012 by Ali Luke. Ali is a writer of fiction and non-fiction and a writing coach. She blogs about writing on her site, Aliventures.com, and has a free ebook "How to Find Time For Your Writing" available when you join her writing newsletter here.

Photo Credit: Joe M500

22 Secrets to Discovering Your Dream and Living It

2012-01-20T05:14:00.000-06:00

One of the most important rules of happiness in life is to do what you love. But discovering that dream job and what you are meant to do in life isn't always so easy.

Take a look at the happiest, most successful people on this planet: they are all doing something they love, creating something they believe in, living a life of purpose and passion. Do that, and it doesn't matter how much money you make.

But what do you do if you don't know what you want to do? If you don't know what your dream is? This is a common problem, and many people wander through much of their life without discovering their passion, and go from job to job, unfulfilled and miserable.

If that's you, don't give up. What follows is a list of suggestions that will help you discover your dream, and start on the road to living that dream. They're things that have worked for me and many others I've studied, talked to, interviewed and admired.

While you don't need to do every step below, they are all ways for your to spend time thinking about your passion in life, your dreams, and how to accomplish them. If you spend time thinking about your dreams, you are taking the first step towards making them a reality.

The first step is to give this stuff some thought.

What are your hobbies? This doesn't just mean stamp collecting -- it means anything you do with your spare time. That could be collecting comic books, reading about history, programming Linux utilities, writing on your blog, writing poetry, cooking, whatever. As it's clear that this is how you like to spend your time, and that you're willing to do these things without pay, it's very possible that these are your passions. Give each of your hobbies some thought, and think about whether they're things you love to do, and that you'd love to do for a living.

What are your talents? It's been said that we each have at least one gift we've been given, and that the true purpose of our lives is discovering that gift, and sharing it with the world. There is much truth in that statement, and an important part of this process is discovering your gift. What are you good at? What talents do you have? What have you shown an aptitude for in your current and previous jobs, in school, in your personal life? Anything goes here.

Who do you like to work with? A dream job includes not only what you want to do, but who you are doing it with. You should truly enjoy working with these people. In this step, you can name specific people you love working with, or types of people (creative types, programmers, entrepreneurs, blue collar, etc.). Use your ideas here to help you envision your dream job (more on that below).

What do you like to work with? The tools of the job are very important. If you love working with computers (even a specific type of computer), that's a clue to your dream job. If you love working with clay, or paper, or people, or clothes, that's a clue. If you like working with a hammer, or a piano, you're off to a great start in discovering your dream.

What environment do you enjoy working in? An office, a college, a classroom, a construction site, the ocean, the forest? Where you work is also an important factor in your dream job.

When have you been happiest? Think back throughout all the previous times of your life, from childhood through adolescence, school, different jobs, different areas, different hobbies. Think about the happiest times of your life, and what you were doing, who you were doing it with, and where you were doing it. You may have dismissed some of these things for various reasons, but remembering that you were extremely happy during those times can make you realize why you were happy.

Try online tools. There are some great tools online for helping you find your purpose. Here are just a few of my favorites:
- 43 Things: A great way to see what goals others have, to list your own goals, to talk to others about common goals, to get ideas and inspiration. Also see their article, How to Choose Achievable Goals.
- Dreamminder. A site where you write down your dream, and it will send it to you at some point in the future. Use their dream wizard to discover your dream. Read the dreams of others to get inspired.
- One Question: Take a test with questions to figure out your one purpose in life. With articles to help as well.

List your top 5 passions. Now that you've given various factors some thought, and tried some online tools, make a short list of your top 5 passions. If you don't have 5, list as many as you have. Then compare your top 5 passions, and rank them from top to bottom. This will be the starting point your guide to making your dream a reality.

How can you turn your passions into your work? Of the top 2-3 passions on your short list, can any of them be turned into your life's work? What professions use those passions as a mainstay of their work? How would you get into those professions, and do you think you would love what you do if you did them?

Create a clear vision. Clarity of vision is the key to achieving your dream once you've discovered it. Take some time to think about exactly what your dream is, what your dream job would be, how you see yourself doing it, where you are, what you're surrounded by, who you're working with, what tools you're using, the benefits to you and others. Write it down, and try to make it as clear as possible. You should be able to visualize this dream in your head. The more real it seems in your mind, the more likely it is that it will become reality.

Create a roadmap. Once you've clearly pictured your destination, what's left is creating a map for getting to that destination. Try backwards planning: what's the last step you'd have to do before attaining your goal? What would the last step be before that step? Keep going backwards until you get to the first step. Then focus all your efforts on that first step.

Brainstorm. Sometimes there are more than one road to get to a destination. Brainstorm a bunch of ideas for getting there, a bunch of actions you can take to move yourself closer to your destination. Then put them together into your roadmap. Even if you don't have a complete roadmap, having a clearly defined destination, and taking the first step, are enough to get you started.

Do research. Learn as much as you can about your dream. Check out some books from the library, do some web surfing, talk to others who are knowledgeable. Become an expert on the topic.

How are others doing it? Find others who are living your dream. Read about them, write to them, meet with them. Find out what steps they took to get there, what's required, how they did it. Then use that information for your roadmap.

Practice, practice. While you're taking your steps to realizing your dream, practice your passion as much as possible. Practice, of course, makes perfect ... and you want to be as good at what you want to do as humanly possible. This isn't an easy step, but it's worth it.

Get inspired. Find others who are trying to achieve the same dream, see what obstacles they've face and how they've overcome them. Put up photos from magazines to inspire you. Read motivational quotes. If you're inspired, you will have the energy needed to get there.

Get motivated. Along those lines, find motivation to keep you on your path. Motivation and focus are the keys to achieving any goal. What are your motivations? Making a public commitment, setting up rewards, inspiring yourself, tracking your progress, and joining a support group or finding a partner are great ways to motivate yourself.

Simplify: one purpose. Once you've defined your dream, focus on it completely. That means you need to put any other goals on the back burner for now, and have only one purpose in your life. Later, you can focus on other goals, but if you have multiple goals, you will become distracted and lose purpose. Focus. Simplify your life so that you are keeping your focus on that one thing.

Use a mantra. A great way to keep yourself focused is to use Guy Kawasaki's idea of creating a mantra instead of a mission statement. Boil your goal down to a few words. Guys' mantra: empower entrepreneurs. What's yours? Once you've defined your mantra, print it out, post it up, and say it several times a day.

Set aside time each day. You will not go anywhere if you don't devote time to your dream. Set aside an hour (or at least 30 minutes) each day for working towards your dream. If you can do more, great, but one step at a time is all it takes. Set aside time either in the morning, or in the evening, or some time when you know you will do it every day. Make it a habit, and you will succeed.

Pretend you can't fail. Imagine that you cannot fail, that you may slip up and fall, but that you will get up and learn from that fall. Take away all fear of risk and loss, and believe in your success. Now act as if you cannot fail. And by acting so, you will make it happen.

Live as you want to be remembered. How do you want to be remembered when you die? This is a common method for deciding how to live your life. If you want to remembered for realizing your dream, then don't start on it when it's too late. Start on it now. Live your life so that your dream actually comes true.

Written for Dumblittleman.com on 06/07/2007 by Leo Babauta and republished on 1/20/12. Leo offers advice on living life productively simple at his famous Zen Habits blog.

Photo Credit: whatimom

Is Your Mindset Secretly Making You Miserable? Here’s How to Fix It

2012-01-15T04:01:00.000-06:00

Is your mindset secretly ruining your life?

And if so, is there a way to fix it?

Michael Jordan wasn’t considered the best basketball player of all time when he was starting out. In fact, he was cut from his varsity team when he was a sophomore. Instead of giving up, Jordan became even more determined, and spent hours upon hours practicing on the court and improving his skills.

When people look back, they say it was obvious that he was an amazing basketball player, but hindsight is always 20/20. What made the difference was his mindset, and what will make the difference in your life is your mindset.

The Two Mindsets: Fixed vs Growth
In her book, MindSet: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck introduces two different mindsets: the fixed mindset, and the growth mindset. The fixed mindset puts their emphasis on talent. They avoid challenges, because they believe each failure reflects on who they are as a person, so they never want to “look bad.”

This leads to excuses, blaming, and defensiveness whenever feedback is given or something goes wrong. It halts learning and leads to anything but success.

The growth mindset on the other hand focuses on learning, effort, and working hard. People with the growth mindset focus on learning from their mistakes, they claim responsibility and they constantly strive to improve.

Are You Stuck in the Fixed Mindset?
So, how do you know if you’re stuck in the fixed mindset? You’ll know because you avoid challenges, you give up when things aren’t going right, and you think thoughts such as “I’m just not good at this, so I might as well give up.”

It’s the belief that you should be great instantly and that you cannot improve or get better by effort, so what’s the point in trying. Growth minded people experience frustration, but they keep moving forward and doing their best. They aren’t perfect, they just realize it takes time to get better.

What About Context?
You can have a growth mindset in one context, such as learning, but have a fixed mindset in another context, such as social situations.

For example, you may believe that you can get better at anything if you apply yourself and study. But when it comes to social situations, you’re stuck being the shy and awkward. Now, does this mean that you can magically become outgoing and energetic? Maybe not, but it does mean that you can improve and get better.

Carol Dweck discovered that shy people with the growth mindset were just as nervous as the fixed mindset people, but they saw it as a challenge and an opportunity to grow.

They had fun and they improved, while the fixed mindset people accepted their seemingly bad luck and tried to avoid social situations altogether.

Can You Change Your Mindset?
If you’re stuck in the fixed mindset, you probably believe that mindsets cannot be changed, and that’s when a change will help you the most.

Ironic, isn’t it?

Change is possible, but it happens slowly (in most cases). The first step is to become aware of how your mindset is holding you back; notice where you want to avoid challenges, criticism, and feedback.

Then start looking at how you can begin to improve. If you want to do work you love, it happens one step at a time. Most people never start because they don’t know exactly where to go, but the truth is that you don’t have to know, you just have to start now.

You’ll get better, smarter, and faster.

Does This Mean Talent Doesn’t Exist?
Denying talent would be foolish. Some people are naturally better than others, but mere talent does not guarantee success. Many who have been talented have not been willing to put in the effort to improve, while many that haven’t had talent have worked hard and gone onto become world class. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to become world class. What it does mean is that you can go after your dreams. But know that it will take hard work. However, the harder you work, the more you learn, and the more you learn, the closer you get to your dreams.

There are no shortcuts and no quick-fixes, so start learning today.

Written on 1/15/2011 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: How to Find Your Passion (And Build a Business Around It).

Photo Credit: wolleydog

Master the Art of Listening and Watch All Your Relationships Thrive

2012-01-10T07:08:00.000-06:00

No wonder listening is an undervalued art. Research shows that we speak at a rate of about 125 words per minute, yet we have the capacity to listen to approximately 400 words per minute. So what are we doing with that extra space in our minds when someone else is talking? Are we really listening?

I have a friend who used to multitask when we spoke on the phone. He would respond appropriately to what I was saying, but I could hear him shuffling papers or trying to quietly order food at the deli (yes, this actually happened). Even though he was following the conversation, I felt bereft as I was sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings. Fortunately, our friendship was more important than his to-do list, and now I happily get his full attention.

Listening is essential to fulfilling relationships. If you are experiencing challenging interactions or you want your connections to deepen, reflect on how you can improve your listening skills. The benefits? Consider the following:

People will feel be more drawn to you; they will like you more.
You will learn something new.
You will solve problems more effectively.
You will experience less loneliness and frustration.
You will feel happier and more relaxed.

Learn to listen well, and watch all your relationships thrive. Here's how.

Pay attention
Since our brains have the capacity to process 275 more words per minute than are actually spoken, we tend to fill up the void with extraneous thoughts. Notice how when someone is speaking, you are partially listening, while simultaneously planning the rest of your day, replaying a meeting that just occurred, or deciding what you will say next. Paying attention is the cardinal rule for good listening. Hear the words, and let their meaning in. If your mind wanders, simply re-focus your attention on the conversation.

Be receptive
If you show up with an agenda, you are not going to be available to fully hear what the other person is saying. There is no problem with having goals for an interaction, but let them go while the other person is speaking so you can hear what is being expressed. Balance your need for a given outcome with your desire to sustain a harmonious relationship.

Check your understanding
Make sure you can repeat what you just heard, and if you can't, ask for clarification. You might be surprised at how much you are missing. Most people are. When you think you've gotten it, you might say, “So what you are saying is....” to verify your understanding.

Be an explorer
Explorers are open and curious. They are inquisitive, without knowing what they will find. So what to do with all of that excess brain power? Focus on the speaker. Notice body language, tone of voice, and rate of speaking. Then look beneath the words to see what feelings and needs are being communicated. You never know what you might find.

Show interest
If you find yourself bored and distracted, reconnect with the interaction. Maintain eye contact, uncross your arms, and ask questions that take the conversation deeper. Find out what really matters to the person you are speaking with.

Be patient
As much as you may be tempted, don't speak over someone who is talking. When you feel the urge to step in, take a breath, let your agenda go, and continue to listen. If you need to move the conversation along, do so politely, as in, “Excuse me, I'm so sorry for interrupting, but ….” Likewise, be careful not to jump to conclusions or assume you know what hasn't yet been said. These are all signs that your inner explorer has fallen asleep. Revitalize your experience by paying attention to what is happening in the moment.

Get out of a rut
Have you ever had the same problematic conversation with someone over and over? Bring a fresh perspective to the relationship by redoubling your efforts to listen. Let go of your need to be right or your ideas about what the other person should be saying or doing, and hear them as if for the first time. This moves you from contraction and limit to possibility and potential simply by listening.

Effective listening develops empathy, which is the capacity for a deep understanding of another's experience. And isn't that what it takes for a relationship to thrive? It's as simple as paying attention.

How has better listening affected your relationships? I'd love to hear your questions, insights, and stories.

Written on 9/24/2009 by Gail Brenner, Ph.D. Gail offers practical wisdom for clarity, freedom, and happiness on her blog, A Flourishing Life, focusing on real solutions for self-defeating habits. Republished on 1/10/2012.

Photo Credit: ky olsen

Confusion and Uncertainty - How NOT to Deal With It

2012-01-07T09:01:00.001-06:00

I recently wrote an article on how to deal with confusion, and it seems like there are a lot of people going through this right now, so I thought I’d expand on the topic. This is a topic I hold near and dear to my heart, because just this past year, I’ve gone through a lot of confusion, conflict, and growth within myself.

In the end it has led me to a significantly better place. I’m happier, more at peace, and even more able to handle the confusion ahead.

It still isn’t easy, but it’s easier, much easier. When you stop fighting, you stop suffering.

Addiction
One of the reasons people have addictions is because they experience pain and they want to escape.

While confusion is not the only pain they experience, it is certainly one of them. This doesn’t have to mean drug habits, it could be eating, watching TV, playing video games, and anything else that you feel the need to escape to in order to numb your pain.

The good news is that you can change. Research has now shown that your brain works like a muscle. When you stop feeding one habit, it slowly starts withering away, even if you try and fail over and over again.

Denial
I’m sure you know people who are in complete denial about what they have to do. You clearly see what they need to do, but they don’t.

Sometimes you have to allow people to have their own experiences, but you also have to notice how you yourself go into denial. We have an easy time looking at others and seeing what’s wrong, but the truly challenging part is looking inside.

Poor Me
I used to be great at feeling like I was the victim, and that the world was against me. Luckily for me, I’ve let go of a lot of that.

There’s still some left that needs to dealt with, but I’m okay with taking one step at a time. This isn’t about perfection, it’s about constant improvement.

Kaizen.

Do you go into poor-me-mode when you don’t know what to do, or what your future looks like? What would happen if you just made peace with confusion and uncertainty as states of being? Where did you learn that it’s bad to not know?

Thought Loops
Thought loops is what I call it when you lie down and start playing movies in your head of everything that can go wrong. This seems more likely to happen when you feel confused and uncertain than at any other time, because if you don’t know what will happen, it will probably be bad, right?

What most people forget is that uncertainty opens up the field of possibility. And another crucial part is that even if something bad happens, how do you know that it isn’t exactly what you need to get what you want in the end?

You just can’t know, so you might as well accept it.

Grasping
The more you can allow uncertainty and confusion to be, the better off you will be, because it is a time of learning on a deeper level than just your conscious mind. Each time you do this, you become more comfortable with it, and you notice that you don’t have to know everything all the time. You realize that it is through confusion and uncertainty that new growth happens, because if you want certainty, you are only reliving the past.

In the end, we all want uncertainty (and confusion), but we don’t know it yet.

So step boldly where you have never gone before, and, dare I say, enjoy it!

Written on 1/07/2012 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: How to Find Your Passion (And Build a Business Around It).

Photo Credit: Benjamin Féron

8 Out of the Ordinary Approaches to Defeating Your Food Cravings

2012-01-05T12:51:00.004-06:00

Do you feel like you can’t lose weight because you struggle with cravings?

Has a gnawing, insatiable want hijacked your healthy eating plan?

Chocolate, candy, potato chips, pizza, steak, coffee, ice-cream, salt or what have you —most of us battle these cravings.

But we don’t have to.

Are you ready to defeat them? If so let's dive in and reveal what you can do to conquer your dangerous moments without regret.

Drink, Drink, Drink
First off, if you’re dehydrated, you’re likely to feel wiped out. When you’re pooped liked that, chances are you’ll be craving a stimulant in the form of sugar or caffeine - think chocolate or coffee.

So drink a glass of water — yes, plain water. By the time your body tells you you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated. And, dehydration occurs as mild hunger. So… glug, glug, glug and make it a habit to drink a glass of water every couple hours.

Why You Need to Sleep More
If you’re majorly stressed, or suffer from insomnia or sleep deprivation, you’re probably exhausted much of the time.

I know about this; believe me! It took seven years and an entire collection of My Little Pony before my daughter slept through the night. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture — don’t underestimate it.

Adrenal imbalance causes your body to call upon your adrenal glands for more stress hormones to act as a pick-me-up, but over time, your adrenals become less able to respond appropriately. Chances are, you’ll resort to sugar or carbohydrate snacks or coffee during the day and carbohydrates or alcohol at night, all of which exacerbate the problem.

I seriously recommend finding a way to chill and give your adrenals a break. I’ve found meditation and exercise such as yoga to be a blessing. A hectic cardio workout is not going to help here. Keep it on the calm side.

The Shocking Truth About Boredom and Dissatisfaction
Being bored or dissatisfied with a particular situation, such as work or a cruddy relationship, or life in general, is the number one cause for filling up on undesirables.

“The longing for sweets is really a yearning for love or sweetness,” wrote Jungian analyst Marion Woodman and she was spot on. So often we try to fill the void with eating. Instead, take time to reflect and assess what’s really going on.

Dr. Oz suggests that it helps to realize that emotional hunger onset is sudden and urgent, while physical hunger is gradual and patient.

Fully facing this kind of eating may lead to some serious soul searching. You may want to consult someone if it becomes overwhelming. But when food is masking a deeper dissatisfaction, no amount of the fix will take away the pain or frustration. Work on healing that and then the cravings will naturally disappear.

How to Change Bad Habits
Psychology professor Debra Zellner, Ph.D., draws the conclusion that our cravings are predominantly determined by habit rather than biological need.

You know how you fall back to habit in times of stress rather than creatively brainstorming fresh approaches? Well the same is true here. When you’re stressed, she argues, your generally strong restraint flies out the window and thoughts about comfort foods come rushing in.

So how do we avoid this stress trigger cycle? According to Zeller, we should:
- Indulge on occasion: By making certain foods “taboo,” we tend to make a dash for them when our defenses are shot. The alternative is to have that chocolate once in a while and de-demonize it. Enjoy a bowl of ice cream now and then. Don’t associate certain foods with the ‘forbidden fruits.’
- Mix up your patterns: Just as with Pavlov’s dogs, Zeller continues, a stimulus produces an automatic, virtually involuntary response in each of us. Figure out if predictable times or places make your cravings appear. Then, change your indulgence time and place, shake up the predictable and don’t create a mindless pattern.
- Make healthy associations: Find healthy foods that you enjoy and make a habit of eating those at stressful times instead. For me, I’ve trained myself to crunch on cucumbers. Granted, we always need to have cucumbers in the house, but it definitely beats chocolate!
A Little Bit of Yin and a Little Bit of Yang
Ever heard of Macrobiotics? Well, key to this philosophy on life is the idea of Yin and Yang, two complementary and antagonistic forces. Before you think this is some new age concept, know that Hippocrates first used this philosophy in 400 BC to describe healthy, long lived people.

In terms of food, certain foods, such as meat, chocolate, cheese and coffee have contractive or Yang qualities. Other foods, like beer, white sugar, soya and potatoes, have expansive or Yin qualities. And then foods like whole grains and veggies have a neutral effect on the body.

The body naturally strives for balance. Without one iota of doubt, what passes through your lips contributes to where your body’s at and what it’s going to need more of. When you’re eating too much Yin or too much Yang, your system won’t be happy. And hello, these extremes are the core of the Standard American Diet. Loads of meat, salt, sugar and fats.

They throw the body out of its natural balance and we crave whatever is required to regain equilibrium. Sadly though, we’re putting in excessive amounts on either side of the scale.

By paying attention to what you’re eating in overload and introducing more balancing foods, cravings will decrease. Remember, the key is balance — not excess.

Are You Malnourished?
For me, malnutrition has always been associated with the image of a starving African pot-bellied child. Painful. And don’t get me wrong, that’s certainly malnutrition.

But did you know how malnourished most of us “First Worlders” are? An estimated 70% of all Americans do not consume sufficient nutrients, mainly as a result of refined and processed foods.

Why do I mention this? If the body is starved of nutrients, it will produce cravings.

Renowned physician, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, states that in order to stop the “addictive drives and perverted cravings” we suffer from, it is essential to restore nutritional excellence.

We need to eat a diet high in what he calls Nutrient Dense foods such as green veggies, non-starchy veggies, beans, fresh fruits, whole grains and raw nuts and seeds.

The toxins in our processed fare just keep us coming back for more and so you need to oust them!

Temptation Be Gone
Clearly, if you’ve stocked up on your favorite indulgence, you’ll eat it. Corollary: if it’s not there, you can’t eat it.

That one’s easy! Banish the temptation. And oh, never go shopping on an empty stomach. A full tummy is less prone to rumble for honey — with apologies to Pooh bear.

Spew It All Out
My final tool for you here is to keep a food journal. Track your eating habits and see if your cravings exhibit a pattern. With this information, you’ll be in a far better position to understand and help yourself.

The Final Word
Cravings aren’t the enemy. In fact, they can be a gift - a window into what’s ticking in your internal clock. By opening a dialogue with your body, you can begin to love and support it just as it supports and loves you with every unfailing heartbeat and every unfailing breath.

But that’s entirely up to you. Changing behaviors is work. No, it’s not like reinventing the wheel or finding a cure for cancer. But it does take commitment and facing some harsh challenges.

If you’re still reading this, that’s a good sign. Nobody can or will make the changes for you. Beating your cravings is the same as anything else. You have to be focused and work damn hard. Oftentimes you’ll need courage too. If you’re prepared to face the challenge, your health will improve and you’ll lose that excess weight. You’ve also got an excellent chance of feeling more whole if you confront the psychological aspects of what’s driving your behavior.

Ready to tackle the task?

Written on 1/05/2012 by Kerri Baruch. Kerri is a Holistic Health Coach passionate about restoring excellent health in clients by supporting them as the full individuals that they are. Kerri shares recipes, blogs and Health Coaching info on her site Eat Real. Be Well.

Photo Credit: Calgary Reviews

12 Tricks Your Brain is Playing on You

2012-01-04T00:01:00.000-06:00

Is your mind playing tricks on you and robbing you of your happiness?

Our minds are complex and are often our own worst enemies when it comes to being happy. Really. Our own brains that we know and love deceive us into thinking something is right when it is really wrong, that we're in love when we're not, etc. Recognizing and debunking these traps your mind leads you into is essential to realizing a lasting happiness, into creating stronger relationships, and to succeeding in your career.

Check out this list to see if you are being deceived by your own mind! I'd be willing to bet that you have been.

I'd be happier if I just had less to do
Our minds often try to trick us into thinking we'd be happier if we didn't have to work. We imagine a life of leisure and deceive ourselves into thinking this kind of lifestyle would make us happy. However, the truth is that idleness often leads to boredom and depression. We are industrious, creative beings. We need challenge and accomplishment to be happy. Get up and invest yourself into something significant and you will find that your happiness factor will rise!

It's not me, it's you
Many times our minds lead us to believe we are unhappy due to our spouse, parents or some other person in our lives. We throw blame around like food in a middle school cafeteria. Of course, it takes two to tango. As Dr. Phil asks, "How's that workin' for ya?" Generally, we are as much, if not more, to blame than others in our lives. We need to accept responsibility for our situation and do our part to make the best of it. Taking personal responsibility for our actions is the beginning of true happiness.

I just need to discover the secret to success to be happy
I am convinced that there are no "secrets" to happiness or success. As much as authors, publishers and our own minds would like to convince us that shortcuts exist, they do not. Living a successful life is pretty simple. You create a vision for the future, formulate a strategy and then work hard to achieve it. There are no shortcuts or secrets to this formula. Accepting this will get you much further down the path to happiness than anything else.

If I just had...
Our minds deceive us into thinking we'll be happy when we get the right job or the right house or the right car or whatever. There is nothing wrong with wanting better things or circumstances, but these do not automatically make us happy. They may create a temporary high, but this quickly wears off. Those wanting a lasting happiness must acknowledge that this is a bottomless pit that we can never fill.

I like things just the way they are and never want them to change
Believing this is just letting yourself be set up for a fall. Life is a journey of constant change. Some of which we control and some we don't. Resisting change or trying to control the change out of life is self-defeating. It will drain you and rob you of your happiness. Change is inevitable. You must accept this and learn to go with the flow. Being adaptable is very important to your happiness.

If it hasn't happened yet for me, it never will
Our minds often get discouraged and disillusioned when success is just around the corner for us. Colonel Sanders didn't start franchising his KFC restaurants until he was 65, forty years after he started serving chicken at his service station. Perseverance is very important in achieving happiness. Never let your mind trick you into giving up. You don't know what tomorrow holds. One more day may be all it will take to realize your dream!

I'll just avoid the things I don't like doing
It is usually the difficult tasks that our minds try to trick us into avoiding. Unfortunately, these are oftentimes the very things that would result in the greatest rewards for us. What do you put off doing? Why? Procrastination and avoidance of completing important tasks or resolving nagging issues only delays your march to happiness. Attack these head-on and you will find a deep sense of gratification that will fuel your happiness.

The world is scary and something bad might happen to me
Our minds tell us there are a lot of things beyond our control. For instance, the way that crime and terror is sensationalized on television might lead us to think that bad guys are lurking around every corner waiting to do dastardly deeds to us. However, crime rates have actually fallen in recent years. According to FBI statistics, violent crime is lower now than it was 20 years ago! Fear is a powerful emotion our brains use to get the better of us. We must seek and trust the facts to break free and be happy!

I'll decide when I know for sure what to do
Over-thinking every decision will leave you stymied. Weighing the risks, analyzing the possibilities and making a plan are important, but nothing ever happens until a decision is made and action is taken. We very rarely have perfect information when making choices. Stop sweating it so much! Failure is not the end of the world. Napoleon Hill writes, "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." Don't let your mind trap you into over-analyzing everything!

I know I shouldn't , but
Our minds try to trick us into denying the effects of our bad habits and rationalizing our behavior with flimsy excuses. This seems especially common with health issues. For example, have you heard someone say, "I know I shouldn't smoke, but it helps me keep the weight off." Or, how about, "I know I shouldn't eat this, but life just isn't worth living if I can't enjoy it." A major health issue like cancer, heart disease, or diabetes will certainly challenge your happiness. Don't let your mind get away with this trick!

Dreams only come true for those that are lucky
Thomas Jefferson said, "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it." Our minds will sometimes trick us into thinking we are victims of fate. They will lead us to believe "nothing good ever happens to me". What our brains credit as the luck of others, generally is the result of years of practice, hard work and preparation. Pursue your dream with your whole heart and you might be surprised at the "luck" that comes your way.

I could never
Our brains often trick us into thinking we can't. For example, have you heard, "I could never go back to school. I don't have the money." or "I can't learn to do that. I'm too old." Don't fall for this trick! Your mind is very persuasive in the way it uses this one. It will lead you around like a dog on a leash if you let it. You are full of potential and although your circumstances might add a degree of difficulty, it is nothing that a little persistence and ingenuity can't overcome. Henry Ford said, "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."
Don't let these tricks steal your happiness!

See how our minds play tricks on us? If you identified with one or more of the cons on this list, don't despair! The truth will set you free! You now have the power to overcome these deceptions because you can see right through them. Enjoy your new found happiness!

Written on 6/03/2009 by Jeff Nickels. Jeff is on a quest to live life to its fullest every day. He writes about his journey regularly on MySuperChargedLife.com. You can also follow Jeff on Twitter.
Republished on 1/04/2012.

Photo Credit: Andrew Mason

Five Lies Personal Development Gurus Like to Tell

2012-01-03T13:11:00.003-06:00

Personal development gurus tell some impressive lies in order to sell their products. That’s right. Lies. These convenient little falsehoods are effective motivators because they play on primal human needs and emotions. Shouldn’t people who promote personal growth for a living be uncommonly straightforward in their marketing? Sadly, this is far from true, even among the popular names in the field.

The good news is that once you understand these, you are free to grow and develop in realistic ways.

Guru Lie #1: You can have anything you want.
It sounds so good, especially after you have been swept away by a motivational message that ignites your passion for becoming all you can be. You can do anything you put your mind to! There is only one problem. You can’t. You cannot have anything you want in life. When it comes down to it, this lie is so blatant that it is downright silly.

In high school I was a gifted tennis player with dreams of playing in college and taking my shot at the pros. I lived, breathed and dreamed tennis. I’m not sure I have ever wanted anything more than to play tennis for a living. Then my shoulders went bad. One rotator-cuff injury lead to another and before long my dreams slipped away. My body wasn’t up for it, so I never even had a chance to defy the one in a million odds of hitting the pro circuit. That’s life.

That is life. You don’t always get what you want and there are many desirable things that lie eternally outside the sphere of possibility. I want to go to the moon. I want to protect my teenagers from every lurking danger in life (as they go about pursuing those very dangers). I’ll never play basketball like Michael Jordan or write like Shakespeare. I don’t have those gifts.

This is actually good news. If you set out to accomplish something totally realistic like starting a new business or getting a promotion or losing 10 pounds or being a better partner, you will be much more likely to achieve it. And there are more wonderful, realistic things to accomplish than you can possibly get around to in a lifetime.

Guru Lie #2: Change is easy.
I’m not suggesting that change is necessarily difficult. It just needs to be looked at from a different perspective, like this one: All change requires sacrifice. That line doesn’t make for good sales copy though, does it? Nevertheless, it is true. Sometimes the sacrifice is relatively easy, which makes it less noticeable. At other times the required sacrifice is overwhelming. If I want to lose weight, I need to give up the donuts. If I want to stop arguing, I need to quit indulging my temper. If I want to improve my financial situation, I will need to spend less (sacrificing whatever I was spending more on) or make more money (sacrificing my time and energy doing whatever that takes).

Even when change is merely a matter of learning new skills, it still requires sacrifice. If I want the job promotion that requires additional training, I need to get that training and sacrifice the time, money and effort necessary. Is it worth it? Of course! It may be even be fun. Sacrifices are only labeled as such when they are difficult.

What do you need to sacrifice in order to get what you want? The more willingly you sacrifice, the greater the chance of success. This approach doesn’t sell as many books (as a study of the history of book sales will reveal) but it puts readers in a position to actually succeed.

Guru Lie #3: Mastery comes quickly.
My expertise lies in the realm of interpersonal communication. I have spent 25 years studying how the mind works and how people relate to each other. In that time I’ve mastered quite a few concepts and put them into practice. I see things about people and situations that untrained eyes are blind to. It is fair to say that I have developed a degree of mastery.

It came slowly but surely over years, two steps forward and one step back. I didn’t take a crash course. I took dozens of crash courses, several long-term programs and a decade-long mentorship. I tell people who want to become masters of interpersonal communication that they need to be willing to spend at least a year studying and applying some basic yet little known principles and then practice regularly for the rest of their lives. This is what masters do. Why pretend otherwise?

Guru Lie #4: Your mind can be programmed for success.
You are not a robot. No one can punch your mental buttons and reformat your brain. There are no magical mental codes that will set you free. You set yourself free by the choices you make, the things you learn and the character you develop over time.

What to make of all the personal growth strategies, techniques and protocols? They are wonderful. Everyone needs tools. There is no inherent power in them, however. The tools are merely helpful, albeit sometimes very helpful. Yet they are not as powerful as your determination, persistence, honesty, self-awareness and passion. These are the resources that make all of the difference, driving you to overcome obstacles and succeed. Don’t put your faith in somebody’s protocol. Put faith in yourself.

Guru Lie #5: All you need to do is…
We all crave certainty and are willing to pay dearly for it. The insurance industry exists because of this, as well as many of our cultural institutions. So, when the gurus show up and, with all the confidence and charisma in the world, assure you that your life will change if you just follow their instructions, it is nearly irresistible. Here it is folks, all you need to succeed in one neat little package with a bow on top!

Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. And why should you limit yourself to one neat little package when there is so much more to learn? Don’t limit yourself to somebody else’s methods. Learn them all! Seek answers in every book, mini-course, and seminar. Develop your intuition and spiritual power. Seek answers within and without. Don’t settle on anything that will stop you from learning more. If there is an all you really need to do is solution, it is this: Leave no stone unturned until your dying breath.

Should we stop buying personal development products from people who are unrealistic in their marketing claims? Probably not. That might eliminate the entire market. I’d suggest making your decision to purchase or not based on something beyond the phony claims.

Written on 1/03/2012 by Mike Bundrant. Mike Bundrant is the director of the iNLP Center, an online NLP training center. For a free personal development mini-course, visit iNLP.

Photo Credit: renaissancechambara

7 Secrets to Making This Year the Best Year Ever

2011-12-30T11:18:00.006-06:00

It’s the time of year when goals are made and abandoned a few weeks later. Will you be one of them, or will you set goals that have the power to change your life?

Not achieving what you set out to do means you’ll yet again fail to move toward the life you desire, which leads to nothing but regret. Inertia can be difficult to overcome, but something you may overlook is the influence from friends, parents, and society in general.

Often what you believe you want is not what you want at all. The trick lies in setting meaningful objectives.

It doesn’t matter whether you set goals or not, as long as you’re doing something that makes you come alive.

Stay Here and Now
Before you decide what you want to do, stay present here and now. Forget about the past and the future. Let any and all thoughts pass. Don’t give them meaning, and don’t add to them.

It is from this blank, calm state that you can begin to look at what has gone well last year, and what hasn’t.

Eliminate
The big mistake people make is they think more is better, but that isn’t always the case. The more things you do, the less time you have. You want to make sure that every single thing in your life is something you’ve consciously chosen.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing things that distract you from what you really want to do, because you’re afraid.

Instead of letting distractions take over your life, look at what you can stop doing. Pick just one thing right now. Keep it simple, and then eliminate it from your life. It could be something small, such as a magazine subscription, or something bigger, like fast food.

Discriminate
You have to be vigilant about what you let into your life. Learn to say no and learn to respect your own time. You don’t always have to say yes to friends and family. First, think about what you want to do. Otherwise you’ll end up living someone else’s life.

If you complain about not having enough time, you probably need to get clearer about what you want from life. And by clear, I mean really, really clear. Focus on ONE main thing at a time.
Goals
Next, set one big goal for the year. And by goal, I don’t necessarily mean regular goal setting. Set a direction for where you want to go.

I simply use the concept of goals to get a point across. Goal-setting is just a process that gets you results. What matters are the results; many get stuck on the process, but the process doesn’t matter.

Use whatever feels good, and take action. Start now.

Focus (on Your Next Step)
When you have one big goal, it’s time to look at what your next step is. What can you do right now to move closer to that goal?

Keep the next step as tiny as possible. It could be brainstorming ideas and action steps. Whatever it is, start now. Yes, you can put it off, but if you do that, you’re putting off your life. If you make it a habit, you’ll end up living a mediocre life.

Do you really want that?

Living an extraordinary life takes effort, at least at first, which is why most people turn it down.

Momentum
When you focus on taking one step at a time, you build momentum. You take one step, then the next, and then the next. It eliminates overwhelm, because you don’t have to try and predict the future.

Know where you’re going, and keep taking the next step. Let the rest take care of itself.

The Most Important Secret
Last, but not least, remember to focus on what matters to you. Forget about what others think you should or shouldn’t do. This is your life, and you are the one who has to live it.

If someone thinks you have to do something that you don’t want, forget about them. If they try to push you to do it, eliminate them from your life. I know, easier said than done!

There’s no one you have to put up with, and nothing you have to do, except follow what feels right for you. Always remember that, because that is what will help you create results that matter and make this year the best one of your life.

Written on 12/30/2011 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: How to Find Your Passion (And Build a Business Around It).

Photo Credit: lednichenkoolga

Trying to Improve Your Willpower is a HUGE Mistake - Here's What to Do Instead

2011-12-28T03:52:00.000-06:00

When we're failing to reach our goals, we often blame a lack of willpower:

I've gotta try harder.

If only I could stay focused.

I need to be more determined.

I have to be self-disciplined.

The problem is, willpower alone won't get you far. You know that, really; you've seen the times in your own life when you tried to be determined and self-disciplined ... but when you still failed to reach your goal.

Maybe you tried to lose weight – but ended up scoffing junk food every evening.

Maybe you wanted to save money – but you couldn't resist that shiny new laptop.

Maybe you were going to take up exercise – but you just couldn't manage to get up early enough to hit the gym before work.

Every time, you probably blamed yourself. You felt lazy or stupid for not managing to stick to your plans. Perhaps you looked at friends or colleagues who were succeeding in similar goals – and you felt sure that they had some huge reserves of willpower which you lacked.

You felt like you just weren't cut out for success.

The truth is, willpower is hugely over-rated. We don't generally achieve things by gritting our teeth and struggling on manfully.

Why Willpower Doesn't Work
There are plenty of times when you've used willpower successfully. Maybe you:

Resisted the lure of that chocolate cookie
Made that difficult phone call
Tidied up a messy room
Said "no thanks" to a third glass of wine

...and so on.

The problem is, willpower is a limited resource. You can't stick to a diet by sheer willpower, day after day after day. And you've probably noticed that on days when you've been trying really hard to be patient or to stick with a tough task, you're more likely to crack and fail in a difference area.

So, if you try to improve your willpower – forcing yourself to rely on it, or even putting yourself in situations where you'll be tested – then you're just setting yourself up to fail.

What Works Instead
We're all creatures of habit. We tend to take the easiest route, or the one which seems most attractive – we need to apply our willpower to do anything else. Our daily environment (home, work, etc) makes far more of a difference than most of us realize. For instance, if you've got a vending machine at work, you're probably going to end up buying more snacks than you otherwise would.

Instead of fighting against your habits and environment, get them to work with you!

That means doing these sorts of things:

Keep those tempting candy bars out of your house. If they're sitting within easy reach, chances are, you'll grab one without even thinking. But if you have to go to the store every time you want candy, your natural laziness will usually stop you…

Make it hard to access distractions on your computer. Do you always end up playing flash games or checking Facebook when you should be working? Then block those websites. If you want to stop checking email first thing, then don't let the program load up as soon as your computer is switched on.

Work exercise into your day. Instead of trying to get up at 5am, or drag yourself out in the evening, how about going for a brisk walk during your lunch break?

Hide the TV remote so that you don't switch the television on as soon as you get home from work.

Build a habit. If you're trying to establish something new in your life – like reading for 30 minutes every day – then find a consistent time and place for it. Once something becomes just another part of your routine, it's easy to keep it up.

Chase goals that excite you. Of course, however awesome your goal, it's not going to inspire you every minute of every day – but it's much easier to achieve something which you want than something which you just feel you should do.

Has willpower ever worked for you? If it has, let us know about it! And if not, what went wrong – could changing your habits and your environment help, instead?

Written on 12/28/2011 by Ali Luke. Ali is a writer of fiction and non-fiction and a writing coach. She blogs about writing on her site, Aliventures.com, and has a free ebook "How to Find Time For Your Writing" available when you join her writing newsletter here.

Photo Credit: locusolus

6 Ways to Start Your Day Off on a High Note

2011-12-21T08:57:00.005-06:00

I’m an early riser and I have been most of my life. It’s a habit my parents instilled in me ever since I was a kid, and nowadays I actually look forward to the morning. But for the first part of my life, my mornings used to be a bit chaotic.

I recall the daily scrambling to eat breakfast, get my things together, and get out the door. As a result, my life was a reflection of this chaos. I think the way you start your day can have a big impact on how the rest of it turns out so I today I want to share six basic ways that you can start your day off on a high note.

Write
As a blogger, I’ve found that I’m most prolific and creative early in the morning. But even if you’re not a blogger, writing is a very therapeutic thing to do. We tend to have quite a bit on our minds when we wake up because we’ve been dreaming all night. Putting it all down on paper allows you to clear the mind for a much more productive day ahead. I always come back to what Tony Robbins said about journaling - “A life worth living is a life worth recording.”

Read
On the days that I can’t seem to put two words together, I go to my next alternative which is to read. I recommend you don’t read the news or anything serious right when you wake up. Most of what’s on the news is negative. You could spend time reading through the archives here at Dumb Little Man or find books that are uplifting. Whatever you read, make sure it’s somewhat light-hearted or thought provoking. Even if you read for 15 minutes each morning you’ll be amazed at how much that adds up over time. Eventually it will be something you look forward to.

Listen to Music
I tend to combine reading and writing with listening to music, but you could just listen to music. I have a morning playlist setup on Spotify that is very soothing. I tend to stay away from anything that is really loud or full of negative lyrics. I think you can more or less listen to anything as long as you find that it calms your nerves.

Motivational Tapes
This is something I’ve actually learned from listening to Zig Ziglar. He said that one of the best ways to speed up the flow of serotonin first thing in the morning is to listen to a motivational tape. Having done this more than a handful of times, I can definitely say there’s value in doing this. You start your day off with a bit of inspiration and hope and that mindset permeates the rest of your day.

Exercise
If there’s one thing that trumps all of the above for me, it’s a morning surf session. With nothing but waves, a sunrise, and dolphins leaping in the air, this really enables me to start the day off on a high note. All it takes is one good wave. But if you don’t live near an ocean, any form of exercise will do. Go for a walk around your neighborhood even if it’s a short one. Do a search online and you’ll find a number of exercise options that you could do in the comfort of your own home. While I think being outdoors is idea, if you live somewhere where it’s freezing cold it might not be that easy to get outside.

Sit Quietly
This might seem like a strange way to start a productive day. A few years ago when I was diagnosed with IBS the doctor told me to spend 15 minutes in the mornings just relaxing and doing absolutely nothing. This is actually easier said than done because we’re so used to being in motion. But I think you’ll find that slowing down just a little will actually result in a much better day.

The way you start your day can have a big impact on how the rest of it turns out. So pick any one of these ideas and try it for 30 days. I think you’ll be amazed at the dramatic difference it will make in your life.

Written on 12/21/2011 by Srinivas Rao. Srinivas is the author of the Skool of Life, where he writes about surfing, personal development, and things you never learned in school but should have. If you’re ready to to become a student, check out his FREE course on the 7 most valuable lessons they never taught in school. You can follow him on twitter @skooloflife.

Photo Credit: Tobyotter

Are You Making These 7 Productivity Mistakes?

2011-12-19T04:26:00.001-06:00

You want to get things done. You're keen to be efficient and effective. "Productivity" is your favorite word – and you're working really hard at it. The problem is, if you're going about being productive the wrong way, you might just be setting yourself up to fail.

These are seven common mistakes that people make when they're trying to be more productive. Do any of them sound familiar?

Mistake #1: Cutting Back on Sleep
When you need an extra hour or two in the day, it's very tempting to simply cut back on sleep. You'll even hear productivity gurus advising that you "get up half an hour early" in order to create some extra time.

The problem is, skimping on sleep is going to decrease your productivity. In the short-term, you'll find yourself struggling to focus. You'll work more slowly than usual. In the longer-term, you could end up getting ill more often.

Mistake #2: Multi-Tasking
Although multi-tasking sounds good, it rarely works. You can multi-task if you're combining a physical task with a mental one (e.g. you listen to audio books while doing the ironing) – but you can't multi-task by reading emails while working on your big report.

When you try to tackle several work tasks simultaneously, you're really just switching your focus constantly from one to another. This breaks your flow, slows you down, and leaves you more susceptible to distractions.

Mistake #3: Doing Everything Yourself
Perhaps you believe that if you want a job done well, do it yourself. Instead of delegating tasks to other people (at work and at home), you simply get on with them. Some of the tasks aren't exactly challenging – like data entry, or doing laundry – but you want them done to your high standards.

This isn't just bad for your productivity, it's bad for the people around you. If you try to do every little thing yourself, you're going to be using up time that would be better spent on more high-powered activities. And if you never give your subordinates (or your kids) a chance to tackle something new, you're stopping them from growing.

Mistake #4: Focusing Solely on Numbers
It's often useful to track particular metrics: how many miles you ran this week, or how many new leads you got from a particular business conference. But just focusing on numbers can be counter-productive – you'll miss all the important things that can't be easily quantified.

There's often not an obvious ROI to be found – especially in areas like relationship-building. You may need to invest time without any immediate results, but the network you create around yourself could be invaluable in the future.

Mistake #5: Eating at Your Desk
When you're busy, it's tempting to skip a lunch break in favor of carrying on with work. You grab a sandwich at your desk, munching away while reading emails. Once in a while, you might genuinely be so rushed that you have to do this – but if it's happening every day, you need to reassess things.

Taking a proper break helps refresh you for the afternoon ahead. Even getting out of the office and walking around for 15 minutes is valuable. And if you can eat lunch somewhere other than your desk, you'll probably enjoy the meal more – and digest it better.

Mistake #6: Checking Email Frequently
Unless your whole job is about answering emails (e.g. you're in tech support), you almost certainly don't need to check email every ten minutes. You don't need to have a notification pop up on your screen with every new message, either.

All too often, we check email when we're not too sure what we should be doing – or when we're putting off a more important task. If you're genuinely worried about missing an urgent message, use a service like AwayFind to make sure that you're alerted about emails from your boss / client / child-minder.

Mistake #7: Pushing Yourself Hard
In the quest for productivity, you may find yourself trying to squeeze more and more into your days. Perhaps you're working full time and running a business on the side – while writing a novel and redecorating the spare bedroom. If your days, evenings and weekends are all packed full, something's eventually going to give.

In many cases, that may be your health. Mental and physical health issues can be caused by stress and overwork – and the time you'll lose to ill health can add up to far more than the extra few hours you gained.

Of course, it's good to be productive – to achieve things in both professional and personal life. But don't try to be productive at the expense of all else, and don't adopt measures for short-term gain that are going to cause problems over the long-term.

If you've got a productivity tip to share – or a mistake to warn us about! – then leave a comment below...

Written on 12/19/2011 by Ali Luke. Ali is a writer of fiction and non-fiction and a writing coach. She blogs about writing on her site, Aliventures.com, and has a free ebook "How to Find Time For Your Writing" available when you join her writing newsletter here.

Photo Credit: MrVJTod

Turn Yourself Into a Savvy Buyer While Christmas Shopping

2011-12-16T07:38:00.000-06:00

Maybe you slept in on Black Friday simply unable to muster the will to battle hundreds of other people storming the gates of the local WalMart. Perhaps you are waiting for your next paycheck in December before you start searching for good deals. Or, maybe - just maybe - you believe retailers will cut costs even further because they NEED to liquidate their inventories before the end of the year.

No matter what the reason is, the goal for many is clear: Purchase as many presents as possible for the lowest possible cost. If you are in that crowd, here are some hints for being more than a bargain hunter; we're talking about becoming a savvy buyer.

Haggle
You may not think that the local appliance store is willing to go down from the printed sales price, but you would be surprised what a failing economy does to salespeople. If you have knowledge on your side (like what the competitors are selling the same item for), you can get them to come down on prices, add extended warranties, deliver for free, install for free, etc. In addition to these, don't forget the freebies.

Be willing to walk away
Don't be afraid to be difficult. If you don't get the deal you want, tell them you are going to leave. This works even better when you cart is loaded with other purchases and you are willing to let all of those go because you don't get the deal on what you really want.

Bring up competitors
This works well when you are looking at very competitive business - like car dealerships or electronics or even credit card companies who are pumping up your interest rate. If you are in a store, it works even better. If you say, "that other store was selling those same things for cheaper" loud enough, you'll get all sorts of attention.

Cash, cash, cash
Not only should you bring cash for your purchases to keep you on your budget, you should tell the salesman you intend to pay with cash and thus save them the 3%-5% that Visa collects on each purchase. Some stores will drop the price simply because it's a cash purchase.

Another trick is to be sure you only bring as much cash as you are willing to spend. This will eliminate the possibility of you exceeding your budget. It also may help persuade a sales manager when you are haggling over the price of an item.

Shut up
When in doubt, keep your hands in your pockets and keep your mouth shut. This will make the salesman dicker himself down on prices when you don't seem happy with his initial offer. They may even divulge some juicy information, like the markup price or even if what your looking at is the best model. Remember, the sales person wants to make the sale more than you want to purchase it!

The Golden Rule! Don't be afraid to ask for a discount
If all else fails, ask for a deal. There may be sales coming up you don't know about, special pricing or even a coupon that the store has on hand. Even small bargains add up to big ones. "What else can you toss in" is a single sentence that can amount to some huge discounts or freebies.

These aren't just holiday strategies; use them all year long and you can become a big-time bargainer. If you feel embarrassed or cheap by asking for discounts, remember that you are never going to see this salesperson again! You will however see your bank account balance for the rest of your life!

Written on 12/01/2008 by Mike Koehler. Mike Koehler is a multimedia journalist in Oklahoma City working full-time to save the newspaper business while helping his wife raise three kids under age 8. In his spare time he sleeps. E-mail Mike at kmanconsulting@gmail.com.

Photo Credit: CamelCrusher1978

How to Lose Weight... By Snacking

2011-12-15T15:55:00.004-06:00

Many people make this mistake of thinking that they can't snack at all if they're trying to eat healthily or lose weight. But it's not only okay to snack – it's beneficial.

Snacking keeps the cravings down. You don't get over-hungry – so you don't eat as much at mealtimes. If you snack a little during the day, you'll consume fewer calories during meals: aim to eat a light meal or snack every three hours.

Of course, you need to eat the right things. Snacking on candy bars and chips won't help you lose weight.

Here are some healthy snacks to try:

Healthy Snacking: Nuts
Almonds make a great snack: your portion should be about 12 – 15 individual almonds. They're a great source of calcium – which makes them especially good for those of us who don't like milk. They're also heart-healthy.

For the chocoholics (like me!) out there, combine almonds with about an ounce of good-quality dark chocolate – 70% or more cocoa. Avoid milk chocolate, as it usually has a lot of sugar. Dark chocolate has been scientifically proven to lower your blood pressure.

Nuts in general are good for snacking. Peanuts have gained a bad reputation – they're actually healthy, as you don't eat too many. Walnuts are a great choice as they contain Omega 3 fatty acids – particularly useful if you dislike fish.

Healthy Snacking: Fruits
It's important to include fruits in your diet: they're high in fiber and vitamins. Bananas are often a good choice, unless you're diabetic (they have a high sugar content, especially when very ripe). They contain a lot of potassium so they're good for people with high blood pressure.

Many fruits are easy to grab and eat straight away – like grapes (freeze them if you like) or berries. The dark-colored berries like blueberries, raspberries and blackberries are all packed with anti-oxidants.

Snacking While You're Out
It can be tough to eat healthily when you're on the move – traveling or shopping, for instance. You may need to plan ahead and take some healthy snacks with you.
Although popcorn makes a good snack while at home, the type you buy at the movies is often covered in butter, sugar or salt. Whole wheat pretzels are a better option.
Other good snacks on the move include fruit, and small containers of yogurt (look out for the sugar content, though).

Don't just think about what you eat while out and about – think about what you're drinking, too. "Liquid calories" can add up to a surprising amount. Your favorite latte could contain up to 500 calories, which is equal to a cheeseburger. While the occasional special coffee will not ruin your diet, having one every day may add on the pounds.

You can – and should – snack while you're trying to lose weight. Sensible snacks are a vital part of a healthy diet.

Have you got a favorite healthy snack? Share your suggestions in the comments.

Written on 12/15/2011 by Patricia Setzer. Patricia is the author of How to Eat Healthy for Life (Without Giving Up the Foods You Love), available in ebook form. You can click here to find out all about it here.

Photo Credit: havankevin

Whose Goals Are You Really Chasing?

2011-12-08T04:18:00.006-06:00

Do you have a big goal for the next year – or perhaps a three-year or five-year plan? You might have a whole bunch of goals, even if you don't call them that – perhaps ranging through things like:

Lose weight
Make lots of money
Get a promotion
Study for a new qualification

Stop reading for a moment, and think about some of the goals that are currently lodged in your mind – they might be things you've told yourself you "should" do, but you've not made much progress on them. You may want to write them down.

Whose goals are these?

Perhaps that seems like a stupid question: obviously, they're your goals ... aren't they?

Unfortunately, there's a fair chance that some of "your" goals aren't really yours at all. They might belong to your parents, your friends, or even your society as a whole.

Here's how other people's goals can become yours – and why you want to take control again.

#1: Your Parents' (or Family's) Goals
Naturally enough, parents often have big hopes and dreams for their kids. They may have struggled through hardship and made sacrifices in order to support their children – and they might have ideas about what constitutes a "good" career or a valuable life.

Parents (or other relatives) may impose goals by:
- Insisting that a particular activity isn't worth pursuing because "there's no money in it" – perhaps art, writing or music
- Focusing on certain qualifications and career paths – perhaps wanting their children to become doctors or lawyers
- Encouraging a particular type of lifestyle by criticizing behavior that they consider "wrong"
- Talking about the success of certain family members in terms of career, wealth, marriage, etc...
How to Change: Spend some time digging deep into your own goals. What do you really want for yourself? If you're pursuing a degree or career that you dislike, don't be afraid to change to something new. Your family may well turn out to be more supportive than you expect.

#2: Your Friends' Goals
Among groups of friends, it's common for particular traits to spread. For instance, if your friends are all overweight, there's a good chance that you'll be overweight too.

One recent and dismaying example of this trend is for breast enhancements, with women feeling pressured into following their friends into having surgery.

Your friends might not talk about their goals as such. But they probably have a set of things that they value – and it may be hard for you to identify your own values. For instance, if you work with colleagues who just care about the paycheck, you might find it tough to stick to what's important to you: doing a good job and playing a valuable role in society.

How to Change: Consider joining a group or club that relates to one (or more) of your goals. For instance, if you're starting up your own business but all your friends are traditionally-employed, you could look for small business networking opportunities in your area.

#3: Your Society's Goals
Family and friends aren't the only people whose goals you might have unwittingly adopted. Society as a whole can impose certain goals on you – ones that may not be what you want at all.

Big companies have an interest in making sure you think of certain things as important or even essential. They encourage you to adopt goals that mean purchasing their products. For instance, you might end up buying gym membership or diet products because you feel like you "should" get in shape – even though you're already pretty healthy.

If you find yourself thinking that's just the way it is or everyone knows that, try questioning your assumptions.
- Is it really better to buy a house, or would you be just as happy renting?
- Will that new gadget/TV/game really enhance your life?
- Do you need a new car?
- Do you and your spouse really want to have a pricey meal out on Valentines' day, or are you both just doing it because you feel like you should?
Some of society's goals and priorities might well be in tune with your own. Others won't.

How to Change:

you

You only have one life to live: your own. Don't waste years of it chasing other people's goals. Take the time to decide what you want, and go after it wholeheartedly.

Written on 12/08/2011 by Ali Luke. Ali is a writer of fiction and non-fiction and a writing coach. She blogs about writing on her site, Aliventures.com, and has a free ebook "How to Find Time For Your Writing" available when you join her writing newsletter here.

Photo Credit: [F]oxymoron

7 Mental Mistakes That Stop You From Living a Life of Freedom and Peace

2011-11-29T07:41:00.002-06:00

How often do you lament the fact that you’re still not where you want to be?

There’s still something missing from your life that if you could get, you’d be happy.
Life doesn’t seem fair, and it never works out just the way you want it.

If you identify with any of these statements, then you’re most likely making mental mistakes that may hold you back for the rest of your life. The good news is that since they are mental mistakes, they can be changed, and when changed, your whole life can be changed.

Living in the Future
Do you dream of a better future where you have more money to travel, more time to do what you want, or even a better job? Then you’re falling into the first mental trap, which is giving your attention to a future projection that does not exist.

The future cannot save you. The more you complain, the worse you will feel.

The solution? Notice whenever you feel pulled to daydream and bring your attention back to your body. Be present with whatever is here and now, even if it feels negative. In the beginning, it may be uncomfortable, because you are used to running away, and your mind is active, but if you truly want to live a joyful life, then this is one of the fastest paths there.

This doesn’t mean you stop planning. It means you stop excessive future projection that leads to chronic dissatisfaction.

Living in the Past
Do you wish you could go back to the past and change something? Or maybe you’re marveling in a memory that is sweet as cotton candy. It fills you with joy and excitement, but at the same time, it carries with it a sour aftertaste, because it’s only a memory.

Remembering good times is all fine and good. The problem arises when it is done excessively. Whenever you notice your attention drifting away either to the past or future, gently bring it back, and notice how you’re feeling right now.

Saying No to the Here and Now
Staying right here and now can be painful. Stay vigilant of what is happening within you even as you read these words. Guard the temple that is your inner space.

How deep or shallow is your breathing? What thoughts are arising? Do you want to be somewhere else, do something else, have something better? Is there a problem in this present moment unless you think about it?

Going Nowhere Fast
Are you constantly in a hurry? You have a goal that you want to get to, because you think it will make your life better. The best measuring stick for a good goal is to ask yourself if it is making your life better right now.

If not, then drop the goal.

Most people are constantly going somewhere else. They are never here. And when they reach that somewhere else, they set a new goal, and off they go, back on the hamster wheel.

It is a never-ending journey that is full of suffering.

External Solutions to Internal “Problems”
Things do not give you peace, freedom, and fulfillment. It is your reaction to them that gives you all the good feelings. The good feelings come from inside, not from outside.

Beyond food, shelter, and a few basic needs, things do not dramatically increase your happiness, which is why you see so many miserable people swimming in material abundance. They are trying to fix something internal with something external. It just doesn’t work.

The only way to experience freedom and peace is to go inside.

Avoidance
Whenever you feel inner turmoil, negativity, suffering, or pain, sit with it, and be with it, without analyzing. It is the running away and wanting it to go away that feeds the fire. Stop avoiding what you are experiencing, and simply be.

Notice the chaos of your mind, and notice that you are not that. You are the presence behind your thoughts. And if you want to take it further, notice what is aware of both your thoughts and the presence behind them.

Feeding the Fire That Burns You
We take so much so seriously, but everything that exists in our head are merely ideas. It may not seem like that, but that is how it is. If you believe that you shouldn't do something, that’s an idea. If you believe you are better than others, that’s an idea. If you believe you are no good, that’s an idea. If you think this article is full of baloney. That's another idea that is constructed from other ideas you've learned in the past.

Those are all ideas, and they hold power over you as long as you choose to identify with them.

How do you not identify with them? By allowing them to pass. Look at them, taste them, but do not put them in your pocket and call them yours. You have ideas that you do not pay attention to, such as the color of flowers. You don’t get angry about them or try to change them. They just are the way they are.

What if all your thoughts and ideas were like this? What if it was okay to feel whatever you feel? Just let it be. It is your constant wanting to change what is that stands between you and a life full of freedom and peace.

Written on 11/29/2011 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: How to Find Your Passion (And Build a Business Around It).

Photo Credit: Tim Geers

27 Productivity Killers: Why Nothing Ever Gets Done!

2011-11-28T11:22:00.008-06:00

There is always more to do than time in which to do it. And the more you take on, the more there is to do. You finish one task and six more pop out of no where; it never ends. To toss a major understatement at you - you need to invest your time wisely and that means being productive.

Yes, the dreaded 'P' word. Easier said than done, that's for sure. Sometimes, you just aren’t productive. You want to be, but things seem to never get done.

Here’s why...

What Kills Productivity?
There are only a few broad reasons why your productivity could be suffering. I’ll talk about all the specific instances in a moment, but let’s start with a high-level look:

You have too much on your plate. Whether you don’t want to say no, you don’t know how or you can’t, you end up having too much to do.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Your body has needs. You need to give it the proper food, exercise and time off to stay optimally healthy.
The flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak. Your attitude is greatly affected by external factors such as your relationships, your finances and the kind of work you’re doing.
There's always tomorrow. Procrastination is caused by obstacles and friction. These tips will help you make sure you stop procrastinating altogether.
Stuff keeps coming up. Interruptions from email and phone calls, distractions from your personal life, as well as meeting overload can easily kill your productivity.
Doing the wrong things. Clarity is power. And once you’re clear about what you want, you need the right strategy and plan of action.

These are all productivity killers, and they can all be averted or avoided. Let’s explore the first one...

You Have Too Much On Your Plate
There are 24 hours in a day. You need to sleep 7-8 hours to keep your productivity level high. And you need to eat, rest and have at least a bit of a social life. That leaves you with 10 to 12 hours of work time. Even if you are ultra productive, your capacity is still limited.

Your Eyes Are Bigger Than Your Stomach.
You are ambitious, driven and confident. And overly optimistic. You have made commitments to your clients, and you can’t let them down. You have to follow through and do what you promised, but you have too much to do. You have three ways out of this bind:
- First, you can free up existing capacity by cancelling other engagements. Since it’s too late to turn down those clients, your personal life will probably suffer.
- Second, you can increase your capacity by hiring someone to help you. You will incur additional costs, and you’ll have to spend time with that person to get them up to speed and communicate exactly what you want them to do. But you might very well manage to deliver on your promises. Top grading is an interesting approach to hiring high performers.
- The third option is for you to negotiate on deliverable deadlines. Is one of your clients or projects flexible? Explain the situation and ask them for a few more days. But don’t wait the day on which you need to deliver to ask for extra time. Start negotiating as soon as you know that you won’t be able to follow through on your promises on time. They normally will be flexible and agree to the extended deadline, if it happens rarely. If you start making a habit out of it, they might very well get frustrated quickly by your requests.
You don't know how to say no.
Your reputation is positively affected by how you can successfully deliver what you promise. By spreading yourself too thin, the quality of your work is greatly reduced – and your reputation follows. Know your commitments, and start saying no if you don’t have time to do more. When you get the request, it’s good to take your time and get back to them. When you do say no, don’t apologize about it. Be polite and firm about it.
You just can't say no.
When your superior asks you to do something, it is not really an option. You CAN ultimately say no, but it is at the risk of getting fired. If everything is urgent, it becomes hard to prioritize and you might feel overwhelmed. The best thing to do is to sit down with your superior and explain the situation. Let them know what you have on your plate. Tell them that it not reasonably feasible within the time frame given.

Ask them to help you prioritize it all. Sometimes, this is not the problem. Sometimes you have the right amount of work, if only you could get it done...

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak...
If you’re not in good health – if your body is not capable to execute what you’re trying to get done – then nothing will get done. So let’s look at reasons why this might be happening.

Not getting enough sleep.
There is no magic number when it comes to sleep. Your body’s need for sleep is a function of your age and your genes. Researchers have agreed that most people need from 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night to be fully rested.

Not getting enough exercise.
“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” - John F Kennedy. It is common knowledge that exercise is good for your physical and mental health. If you still need motivation to get moving, here are 13 scientifically proven health benefits of exercise.

If you’re not exercising, keep it simple to start with. Do you live in a building with multiple floors? Run up and down the stairs for 15-30 minutes. Go for a walk. Of course, there is always the gym. Having a disciplined gym partner will help you get and stay motivated.

You're getting too much exercise and burning yourself out.
Over-training has serious negative consequences. Make sure to rest sufficiently and eat well between workouts. Listen to your body and be aware of symptoms of over-training.

You're not eating a very healthy diet.
There are numerous health risks associated with having a poor diet. It can make your body weak, overweight and sick. You also expose yourself to life-threatening diseases. If you’re sick or lacking energy, your productivity will be down. Avoid diets high in refined sugars or bad fats. Try a vegetarian or vegan diet. Consult a health professional for advice.

You're not getting enough time to yourself.
Your body and your mind need regular rest. If you’re not taking breaks throughout the day and regular time off work, you are lowering your overall productivity. Your energy needs to be renewed for you to have sustainable high performance.

You're sick.
An analysis of Commonwealth Fund survey data found that 69 million US workers missed work days due to sickness, for a total of 407 million days lost in 2003. Another 478 million days were lost because they were unable to concentrate at work due to their illness or that of a family member.

The most productive attitude to have towards sickness is prevention. And in cases where you start feeling sick, the best thing to do is to give your body the rest it needs. Take a bit of time off NOW so that you don’t have to take days or weeks off later.

The body and the mind are greatly linked. They influence each other directly. So the reverse relationship is just as true.

The flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak...
Being physically healthy is not enough to be productive. Your mind needs to feel positive emotions and be free of bad stress and concerns. Let’s look at a few causes for those negative emotions.

What you're doing isn't motivating you.
Is what you’re doing boring and energy-draining to you? Do you a hard time motivating yourself in the morning to get your day started? If so, then you are not doing what you love. The shortest path to productivity is being happy, excited and passionate about what you’re doing. We usually love what we’re good at, and we become good at what we love. Find what you love – that’s the easy part. You already know what you love. Secondly, find your strengths. Then set up your life so that you’re doing only those things.

Your personal relationships aren't harmonious.
Frustration, friction and fighting with family and friends take a lot of energy away. One way to go about removing those frictions and frustrations is to love them more, appreciate them more and be more grateful to them. By the law of reciprocity and because humans have a deep need to be loved, your relationship will quickly get better.

Your financial situation is stressing you out.
The PricewaterhouseCoopers’ 2011 Financial Wellness Survey showed that financial stress contributes to productivity loss. It is a big distraction, and a lot of people are managing their finances at work. By clearing off your debt, and using credit cards wisely (i.e. by paying them back immediately after you purchased something with them), you will remove a burden that is hindering your productivity.

You're relying on willpower.
Motivation – or in other words, willpower - gets you started. You have limited amounts of it, and it can only get you so far. When your willpower is running low, you are more likely to put off tasks to tomorrow. Habits get you through to the finish line. They pull you through lack of motivation. You should stop relying on willpower alone.

There's always tomorrow...
The word procrastination comes from procrastinare, and it is derived from pro (forward) and crastinatus (of tomorrow). In other words, you are putting off doing something to tomorrow.
If you are procrastinating, know that it is caused by obstacles and friction. To learn more about it, here are 13 effective solutions to procrastination.

You want to go play outside.
Especially in cold climates (I live in Canada) where summer is short, people’s behavior changes drastically throughout the year. Almost depressed and hibernating in winter, people binge on outside cocktails and outdoor activities during summer. This affects productivity on a high level. If you have control over your schedule, you can take that beautiful sunny day off and work over the weekend. Basically, you can rearrange your time to take advantage of beautiful days.

There's no urgency.
When you have a long time to do something, there is no pressure and it is more likely that you will put it off. Set intermediate goals and start today.

There's no accountability.
By not being held responsible for your actions, you can easily backwards rationalize when you don’t get things done. This is probably one of the least applied concepts in business. You should stop relying on willpower alone and start using accountability to facilitate sustained productivity.

You're afraid of failure.
Fear of failure comes down to the two basic human fears: Not being enough, and not being loved as a consequence. We’re also avoiding the potential pain this failure can cause us. Fear and gratitude cannot co-exist in the brain at the same time. By feeling grateful for the lessons that you can learn from failure, fear dissipates.

You don't know what to do next.
Not knowing what your immediate next step is can freeze you. You might feel overwhelmed with all your options of what to do next. Stop and think. Take a few minutes to think about your next step. If you still don’t know, you might refer to your Mastermind group (explained below in this article). Sometimes, you’re very motivated, you have plenty of pressure and accountability, but stuff keeps derailing your efforts...

Stuff keeps coming up...
You have a lot to get done, but it seems like there’s always something else urgent and important that needs your attention right now.

Interruptions.
In today’s fast-paced world, we are constantly interrupted. Your email notifications pop up, the office phone or mobile phone ring, and colleagues can interrupt your work at any time to ask you a question. When you want to be productive, you need to eliminate those interruptions. Close your email inbox or disable notifications, turn off your phones’ ring. If you are in an office with a door, close it. Let your colleagues know that you are not available for certain periods in the day where you focus on your work.

Poorly defined boundaries.
It’s easy for your personal life to creep in your day when working. If working from home, it's still work time. People shouldn't be bothering you. You need to focus on your work while you’re at home. Also, get out of the gray zone that lies between productivity and relaxation. Do one or the other fully, but not both at the same time.

Not budgeting enough time to do stuff.
For example, if you budget only one hour to answer email and you spend four, it gets into your other stuff. You can solve it with a time audit, and improve your estimation skills over time.

Your colleagues are scheduling a lot of meetings.
Your time is valuable, and so is theirs. Every hour spent in a meeting is time not spent making progress with your work. There is hence an inherent cost to meetings. Attend only the meetings where it is truly relevant for you to be there. And run effective meetings.

Now, even if you’re productive and you manage the stuff that comes up well, you might still be working on the wrong things.

Doing the wrong things
You need to know precisely what you want, know how you’ll get there, and have the right team to help you along the way.

You haven't identified clearly what you want.
What your mind can conceive and bring itself to believe, it can achieve. The first step, then, is to know exactly what you want. In other words, you need to define your definite purpose. Your strategy, your goals and your actions will stem from that purpose.

You haven't defined SMARTER goals.
Your goals need to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely, emotional and rewarding. Setting a goal to make $1 million this year out of the blue would not be a good goal.

You don't have the right overall strategy.
Once you have defined clearly what you want and what your SMARTER goals are, you need the right strategy - or overall plan of action. This is when your Mastermind group comes in handy. Make sure to stay on track – keep applying the strategy you established, while making it evolve as you gather feedback and experience.

You're not using the power of the Mastermind.
Napoleon Hill introduced the Mastermind principle in his book Think and Grow Rich. It consists of two or more people who work in perfect harmony for the attainment of a definite purpose. It is the principle by which you can borrow and use the education, the experience and the influence of other people.

You're not planning regularly.
Priorities change, and your plan of action is constantly evolving, but planning is essential. In Dwight D. Eisenhower’s words: “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable”.

Bonus #28: Maybe you are productive, and you just don’t know it.
Sometimes we’re so geared and focused on what to do next that we don’t stop to appreciate what we accomplished. Make sure to stop and appreciate small wins. Other times, we’re setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Feel grateful for every bit of progress. Celebrate, do or buy something you love. For me, whenever I make great progress, I treat myself to a healthy restaurant and a massage at a spa. What makes you feel great? Is it spending time with loved ones? Going on a short trip? Buying new clothes?

Note that not everyone has every problem in this list. And if you want to increase your productivity, you’ll need to find which ones afflict you. Here are the ones that are afflicting me the most: not getting enough sleep, and my financial situation is stressing you out. I still have a lot of debt to repay, and even though I’m repaying it quickly, it adds stress to my life.

So what about you? Which of these productivity killers is afflicting you? And now that you’ve read this post, are you ready to bust through them?

Written on 11/28/2011 by Matt Tanguay . Matt is Fluent Brain's CEO and Chief Visual Facilitator. Visual Facilitation supercharges your thinking, brainstorming, and problem-solving. Visualization brings clarity and order to your thought processes, allowing you to explore and keep track of complex and non-linear ideas. The entire process is captured in a document deliverable that you can refer to in the future, and use to help others understand your ideas.

Photo Credit: f_mafra

Play The Game of Life As If You Have Nothing to Lose

2011-11-26T12:08:00.000-06:00

A few days ago I was surfing with a friend of mine and what appeared to be a perfect wave appeared on the horizon. So, I started paddling for it. From where my friend was sitting he could see exactly what the wave was going to do, so I shouted to him “is it going to close out?” and he yelled back “no , just GO!!.” By the time I had tried to go it was too late.

Hesitation killed it for me.

I am not saying to never hesitate OR never think. I am saying that at some point, it's time for immediate action!

The Opportunity Cost of Hesitation
My hesitation had cost me what might have been one of the best waves of the day. Many of us behave the same way in life. We linger on the edge of decisions, choices and commitments. We hesitate and opportunities pass us by. Hesitation is the kiss of death when it comes to progress. Even if you manage to take action, you do it from a place of reluctance which increases the likelihood that you’ll fail.

If I had actually gone for that wave it’s almost guaranteed that I would have wiped out because I wasn’t fully committed to it.

Playing the Game as if You've Got Nothing to Lose
“Proceed with caution” might as well be the first rule on the chalkboard at school. But what a disaster that such an instruction holds us back in ways that we can’t even imagine because we’ve become so caught up in playing it safe and sticking to the tried and true path. As we get older and experience more of what life has to offer, our tolerance for risk significantly decreases, and in parallel the possibility of living an extraordinary life.

If you want to get big results you have to take big risks. Nobody made a fortune or ever got everything they wanted out of life by playing it safe. In a recent interview when I asked an employee at the company if it was an organization that encouraged taking risks, she replied, “I don’t like the word risk” and proceeded to discuss how to innovate within these boundaries.

Paralysis by analysis keeps far too many people from taking action. Sometimes..in fact most of the time the only way you’re going to find out if something will be a success is by just doing it.

Do you Really Have Anything to Lose?
The part of taking a risk that never ceases to amaze me is how many of us fear losing something that we don’t have in the first place. Our minds are great at playing tricks on us and putting us into endless loops like this:

“If you go and talk to that girl that you find attractive, she might think you’re an idiot or she might turn you down.” Does it matter considering you don’t have her in the first place? What are you really going to lose?

“If you write this and share it with people what if they think you’re crazy, think your article is garbage or don’t agree with you.” It’s not like you have the traffic, comments or reaction from that post right now. So what exactly are you afraid to lose?

“If this crazy wild eyed dream of mine doesn’t work out then the whole world will be laughing publicly and saying I told you so.” Considering you haven’t accomplished the dream, you’re really not losing anything. It’s far easier for people to stand on the sidelines and critique another person than it is to play the game themselves. Be wary of these people.

The willingness to take a leap of faith and stand on the edge of success with adversity as the catalyst will carry you far beyond your own expectations if you can stay the course. The question really is do you have what it takes?

Written on 11/26/2011 by Srinivas Rao. Srinivas is the author of the Skool of Life, where he writes about surfing, personal development, and things you never learned in school but should have. If you’re ready to to become a student, check out his FREE course on the 7 most valuable lessons they never taught in school. You can follow him on twitter @skooloflife.

Photo Credit: MikeBaird