★ Dunkelbunt & Bittersüß ★

Passion for Sweets

2013-06-09T21:38:00.000+02:00

Hello everyone - how was your week end?
Mine was super busy but a lot of fun! On Saturday I went to the Open Campus day of the university I wanna do my PhD at (but this is still a faaaar far away future), and was able to get a tour to one of the labs... I really wanna work there one day, it's my greatest dream, so I'll work hard and hopefully get in their programme in two years!

For today I tried to organize a "Mini-Meet.up" for the Lolita community, because I wanted to go to an exhibition about pastries (sounds kinda ridiculous, but as you might know I am really into baking so I'm interested in that kind of thing) and didn't want to go alone. In the end, due to short notice and another event on the previous evening, we were only 3 girls but it was a lot of fun anyway!

Me & my friend the Punschkrapfen, haha! I looked it up, but there isn't even an English word for this pastry :D

Unfortunately, the exhibition was not really what I expected. I thought they would show a lot more about pastries and their history, and less art, I just thought it would be more historical. We had to pay full price because I forgot my student ID and the woman at the cash desk didn't accept Bibi's student ID... so we decided to see the other exhibition at the museum as well, which showed the "art" of Hermann Nitsch.

I don't know if you've ever heard of this man, if you didn't, I suggest you don't google him. He makes his art mainly with blood, dead animals and their organs. He "paints" with the blood and stages photoshoots where naked men are covered in blood and other body fluids and organs.... it's just as disgusting as it sounds. I am not very fond of most kinds of what is called "modern art" to begin with, but this man, and his "art" is just horrible and disgusting, and to me this has nothing to with art, it is just pure provocation, voyeurism and fetish.

BUT let's forget about this & continue with more photos. I took some during the exhibition, but all in all there wasn't a lot I was interested in, the light was very dim and all in all I was just a little bit disappointed.

This sweet lady is Mary also known as Bright Eyes, check out her blog! :)

Here we have some donuts made of cloth and a beautiful cupcake.

I love floral patterns ^__^

Charlotte / "Malakoff" cake made of cloth

Old Gugelhupf recipies. Maybe I'll try them out some day :D

After looking at all the food-related stuff we were really hungry (despite the horrible Nitsch art, haha) and decided to go to the café and have some Sweets. Mary & Bibi had Punschkrapferl, it's the pink colored sweet you see on the first photo, but of course in reality it's much smaller :) I went for the "Kardinalschnitte" because it looked just epic.

And it also tasted really good.

Before we went home, we wanted to take some nice photos in the courtyard of the museum, but unfortunately it was really windy - also, I was constantly blinded by the bright sun so I messed up some camera settings and not all of the photos turned out very well. I also seem to have an allergy or something, as my eyes start to water whenever I leave the house :( Anyway, I really wanna take more photos of people and become a better photographer, so from now on I'm gonna take my camera with me to every meet-up, no matter how small, haha!

When I still had red hair myself, I always thought red & pink don't go well together. Now that I have black hair again I keep meeting people who pull it off perfectly XDD

That's my favorite one of all the photos I took! :D

Bibi was so pretty as well! She decided not to wear Lolita - a clever choice, as we had 27°C that day and I was dying from the heat D:

Herpiderpi ^^" Messy hair because it was so windy D:

Aaaand a last one where I have a posture like a pirate or something, haha!
Maybe I should try Pirate Lolita some time soon? ^^

Too bad the photos are so blurry, I suppose I won't be able to put any on Dunkelsüß once again ^^"
But I was super happy to see that my last outfit got some positive feedback on tumblr X3 I take it that I'm not doing too bad then? ^^

So, anyway, how was your week end? What did you do? :D

End of an era & new beginning

2013-06-07T17:38:00.001+02:00

Five years ago, I had my high school final exams. A little bit more than three years ago, shortly before I started this blog, I had my interview that got me into this university. And today I had my final exams AND I PASSED!

That means I am now "Bachelor of Science in Engineering" and I even graduated with highest distinction (grade <1.2) aaaand I'm sorry if I sound super annoying but I am just SO FREAKING HAPPY!

And honestly, I'm kinda proud of myself. It's the first thing I really "achieved" after my high school graduation and I am getting more and more confident that this is just the right thing for me to do!

So right now, I am just super relieved and don't really know what to do because I have so much I could do, but nothing I have to do!

Le epic photoshop from a friend of mine, hahaha ♥

Finally, I can also look forward to the upcoming weeks and tasks and be happy about it - next week end my boyfriend and I will go to Nova Rock festival where I'll see my favorite band HIM and other bands I love like Rammstein, KoRn and The 69 Eyes! We will start to renovate our flat and hopefully move in be the end of July or mid of August. And in autumn I will start to study Medical Molceular Biology at the University of Vienna (at least that's the plan).

On another note - I don't know if you've heard about it if you're not from central Europe but Austria among other countries have been affected be severe floods lately. My home town was affected to, as it's directly next to the Danube. This was no surprise as we get floods quite frequently and our houses are built in a safe way, but still it was rather severe and even higher than in 2002. The water went down again yesterday and today, but it seems like the river carried much more mud with it this time, so everything is now soaked and dirty. So I'll probably have to help them out with cleaning up the garden this week end. (Just so you get an idea, this is about as high as it was 2 days ago, the peak was even higher...)
Other than that - I have sooo many plans right now, I am just super happy that I have some free time to do what I want! I will hopefully also get to blog much more often now! By the way, are some of you still interested in Science stuff? Because I've been thinking about blogging about topics that I find interesting once in while again, if you would like to read that?

Anway! I'll be off again, so much to do, I don't even know where I want to start, haha!

Thanks to all those people who cheered me up during all that studying and worrying ^__^v I owe you!

Lolita Tea Party at Café Süssi & Classic Lolita Outfit

2013-06-02T12:25:00.000+02:00

Happy belated International Lolita Day!

I can hardly believe that it's been half a year already that I posted about this and kinda went to my first little meet up with other Lolitas BUT before I digress and start to be all depressive about how much I miss Finland, let me tell you about our local (Viennese) meet up on last Saturday!

A group of Lolitas came together and meet at Café Süssi here in Vienna, which is a "Salon du thé Francais", in other words, a very pretty, old-school and French-themed café. Even the menu was mostly in French! In the end, we were 18 or 19 people, I don't really remember, but it was very crammed in that little room, but also very cozy and nice :) It was a perfect location for a Lolita meet up! Initially, I wanted to wear Sweet Lolita, because the meet up was meant to celebrate Macaron Day, but when I saw the location I decided to go with a more Classic styled outfit that I've had in mind for a while now. It's very simple though, too bad you can't really see any details, not that there were very many.

But with many of the girls wearing Classic outfits, it felt like traveling back in time, sitting there in the café, sipping our tea and eating sweets :) (Too bad they didn't have any macarons in the end ;_;)

My outfit of the day with my beloved Bodyline dress :3
With the ribbon attached to the chest it doesn't look so "empty" anymore...

I agreed to meet my friend Bibi at the train station and we went the rest of the way together. It was rainy so we had umbrellas with us, and it didn't take long before a woman came up to us while we waited for two other girls, to ask if she could take a photo, and to ask us about the fashion. It's always so nice when people show genuine interest in Lolita and don't just stare at you, I really appreciate people asking, and I guess I'll never grow tired of explaining everything they want to know :) I do my best to represent the "scene" well in such situations, after all I haven't been a Lolita myself for very long yet, but I do my best, haha!

I was surprisingly happy with my outfit, though my make up didn't turn out so well this time. I tried a more toned down eye make up for the classic look but I don't know if I'm too happy with it. I think my face just looks empty without thick false lashes D: Also, I gave my blue Circle Lenses a second chance. They make my eyes look pretty dark in natural, indirect light, but I wanted to at least do something to emphasize my eyes.

I was also very unsure what to do about my hair, so I ended up just braiding it, because as you might know, my hair is almost unstyle-able. Due to the rain and everything my hair looked really messed up at the end of the day, but oh well. At least I got a halfway decent photo taken before it all went down the drain XD

If you want to get an impression of the café and the other Lolita's outfits, check out the pictures from the meet up on the facebook page :)

It was nearly impossible to pour the tea without spilling it XD we have to go back to Lolita bootcamp I suppose *derp*

The sweets were incredibly. I say incredibly because I'm still not entirely sure if I liked it or if it was really too much XD

I deifnitely have to bring my own camera for the next meet up I attend, because I feel so bad for borrowing pics from others all the time D: And especially in the cozy little café my cellphone camera was just no match for what a real camera could have done. But anyway, at least I got some pics to share :)

As for the next occasion - it will definitely come around soon! I'll probably try to initiate a trip to a nearby museum where they have an exhibition about confectionery, and as I suggested it to the other girls there seemed to be a few interested. So at some point after my exam that's what I'd like to do.
Also, I was one of the lucky few how were able to grab a ticket for the Innocent World Tea Party in October! It's crazy to think that I'm gonna attend such a fancy event when I haven't even been part of this fashion for a long time... I felt a bit insecure about my style, but everyone I asked was very supportive so I don't feel bad about going anymore ^_^ I'm very much looking forward to it and I already have an outfit in mind that I want to wear :3

In the meantime, I have to study, pass my exam, renovate my flat, maybe get a last-minute internship or job for September and reach my goal of ideal weight until my brother's wedding in August. I took up a Pilates challenge again, let's see if I will really make it XD
I don't think I'll be able to write anything more before my exam next Friday, so pretty please if you're free on that day, keep your fingers crossed for me, and after that I'll be freeee~ haha!

Wish you a nice Sunday! ^_^

And in your dreams, you see me falling

2013-05-30T00:59:00.003+02:00

Hello again! ^_^v

Yesterday I took another break from studying... My head is so full I feel like I can't memorize anything anymore, I have no idea how I am supposed to remember 150 pages for Medical Biotechnology alone, haha! Anyway, we decided to go to the cinema and watch Oblivion - I wanted to see the movie because I like these kind of movie where there are twists, and I like post-apocalyptic settings, so despite our deep dislike for Mr. Cruise who plays the main role, I convinced my boyfriend to go and watch it with me!

I was so happy to go out I out a totally unnecessary effort in doing my make-up and dressing up. But it felt so good and was a lot of fun! Sometimes, I just want to look a bit like a princess... the look is a bit Gyaru-inspired, though I do that eye-enlarging effect pretty often...

I wanted to do a Gyaru or maybe Hime Gyaru inspired look for today, because I wanted to wear my new dress and shoes! Unfortunately the shoes are super uncomfortable :( The heels are kinda wonky (maybe I'm just too heavy compared to the average Asian girl? XD) and I even slipped and fell once because of that :< I guess I'll have to give them away after all...
I like the Gyaru look and think it would be nice to wear it more often, but I'm too bad with hairstyling to do it properly. Also, I think the Hime Gyaru typical hairstyle would be a bit too much for me, personally. So I just went with my red wig for this time, because it's curly and because of all my real hair tucked in underneath it even looks like it's teased a bit, haha! But at least I managed to hide my own hair and put on the wig properly and not wonky this time!

It's so difficult to take photos of myself right now ;__; The mirror in our kitchen is huge but the light is pretty bad... my cell phone came is not really good with it. And I didn't have that much time to get really good selcas, so all of them are a bit blurry XD Sorry!

I wanted to show a better view of the make-up but it was hopeless.... but anyway, I think a did a pretty decent job on the contouring this time. I kinda like the way my nose looks here :) How rare!

My boyfriend and I have been to the cinema quite often lately... while we live directly next to one we prefer the English cinema in town because most movies are just better in OV. This is something that I miss about Finland, I think it's so great that they don't usually dub movies but instead just put Finish subtitles in. That way I was able to go and watch movies and even learn some new vocabulary! I should probably get some DVDs with Finish subtitles, haha!

We've seen Iron Man 3 and Star Trek: Into Darkness too lately, and together with Oblivion I think these are three movies that get far too much undeserved hate. I liked them all, maybe because I didn't have any super high expectations into them, and that way I wasn't disappointed.

Anyway, I should get back to studying... and sleep. I'm sleeping 9+ hours a day at the moment and I don't even know why, I don't even feel that exhausted, but I guess my brain just really needs a good rest at night ^^"

Let me know what you think about the look! :3

P.S.: The quote in the title is from the credit song "Oblivion", I somehow really like it! You can check it out here. Who else thinks a kind of Metal or "heavier" cover version of that song would be cool? ^^
P.P.S: AH! I'm going to a Lolita meet up on Friday and I plan on wearing this outfit, I just don't know what to do with my hair :( Any ideas? Do you think the red wig would match? .__.

Huge DressLink.com review + photos!

2013-05-28T18:18:00.001+02:00

Hello my dear readers!

As those of you who follow me on twitter or are facebook friends of mine already know, I'm currently super busy studying for my final exam. It was postponed by a few days, so I'm glad I have some extra time now, but still, it's very stressful so I don't have a lot to blog about.

But a while ago I ordered from DressLink. Enticed by the review of lovely Arina about this China-based online store, I quickly decided to give it a try and order some clothes for summer. As mentioned before, I was specifically looking for something that I could wear to my brother's wedding in August, so I was mainly looking for dresses that would fit the occasion. So I took the opportunity to make a study break and write this review about my order!

Before I start the detailed review, a few words about DressLink. Their online shop is really huge but easy to navigate. They offer various different shipment methods, and a good guide on how to find the best one for your country and needs.

The prices are ridiculously cheap, there's no arguing about that, and the shipping costs are not too high either. If you sign up, you get a 20% discount voucher that you can use for your next order! The stuff I ordered was roughly USD 80,- but with the voucher I only payed $ 65,- plus $ 25,- for shipping with FedEx. At the checkout, you can choose a shipping method, and for some reason FedEx shipping was cheaper than China mail, so I chose that.

I placed my order on 18th May, and it was packed and sent on 23rd. Tracking with FedEx worked just fine, DressLink even sends you an E-Mail a kind of tracking widget so you don't need to check the FedEx site, you only have to look at the mail. The package arrived today, 28th May, and I had to pay roughly € 13,- import tax, so in contrast to DHL, they didn't mess up anything at the customs :)

Now to the products I ordered! (Warning, picture heavy!)

The stuff arrived in a big cardboard box. Everything was neatly packed within, there was really no space wasted. The shoes came in separate boxes and were wrapped in foil within the box, to avoid rubbing off or damaging each other. All other stuff came in plastic bags of reasonable size, so you won't be left with a giant pile of trash after unpacking.

I ordered three pairs of shoes, three dresses and some miscellaneous items. Here's my impression. Simply click on the name of the item to get to the corresponding dresslink.com page.

1. Bowknot stiletto high heels

First impression: They look pretty much the way I expected them to be. The color of the bow and strap are somewhat peach-y, like a slighlty orange-ish pink. I ordered them because my boyfriend liked them so much :) I usually don't like the color beige, but the color combination here convinced me that it can look okay XD

The quality is okay. I did not expect too much for $ 11.10, so the little details that are off (like the cap of the stiletto heel) don't bother me too much. Otherwise the shoe seems overall well crafted. The insole fits the shoe quite well and the seams on the outside are (glued) clean.

What I found quite peculiar about the shoes was the closing mechanism of the strap! At first I was so baffled I didn't know how to close because I'd never seen anything like that on a shoe, but it's actually super simple and very practical :3 Now it's not necessary to use the buckle, which often damages the strap.

I couldn't get very good worn pictures of them, but I don't think it really matters with shoes anyway. I do think they are a little small, but it's manageable. They're easy to walk in, the "angle" of the heel is quite nice. I haven't worn them very long though, but I plan to wear them to the cinema or something soon, so I can test how comfortable they are when worn longer.

Overall, I like them, Though I am not sure if they will hurt when I wear them for a prolonged period of time. However, I think ordering them a size larger would not have solved the problem, as the fitting around the heel and in the front is perfect, and size 38 shoes are sometimes to high/wide for my feet. So if you want to order these, I recommend you take your true size, if you have a size "in between", take the larger one.

2. Platform Bowknot wedge high heels

Huh. So I ordered these because I thought they could go well with Sweet Lolita. I actually asked on Dunkelsüß if people think it's "loli-able". I think they're really cute, but I wasn't sure if the color would fit the pink on my other Sweet stuff, but it turns out this isn't the biggest problem of these shoes...

When I unpacked them, first thing I noticed was the smell. Not just artificial leather but glue and chemicals and whatnot - just overall unpleasant. But nothing a good time at fresh air couldn't get rid of. The color is a slightly orange, dark pink. They appear somewhat more flat than in some of the website's photos imo, but I think that's because a lot of their pics are shopped to hell and back.

The details are really cute! The buckle has the same closing system as the shoes before and is decorated with this little charm. The strap can be moved to whichever position one wants to, however, the bow is fixed - which wouldn't be a problem if one of the bows wasn't around twice as far from the buckle as the other. =/

The craftsmanship is... meh. To be honest, compared to the other shoe, which was actually cheaper, these look a lot worse. For $ 15.60 this shoe comes with a ill-fitted insole, sloppily glued together parts and the mismatched bows. But then again - I don't expect high level quality for 15 bucks.

What I do find to be a problem with these shoes, however, is their site. They actually don't fit. At all. I can squeeze my feet in, but I'm quite sure I won't be able to walk more than maybe 10m with them. I ordered 37 again, because I trusted the cm measurement. I was surprised at first that they don't list the sizes in cm as this is, as far as I know, more common in Asia. To make sure I ordered the right size, I looked up their shoe sizing chart to know which size they recommend for 23.5cm/235mm. I ended up ordering 37 and thought that it should match my cm measurement, but these shoes are definitely too small. I measured them myself with measuring tape, and while not very precise I'd say they're probably 225mm, 230mm max. I was seriously disappointed :(

It's a pity, because all in all I think they are supter cute. The color somewhat matches my Sweet Lolita skirt, even if it's not exactly the same it would work. I'm not sure what to do with them now. Maybe I'll try to sell them on Dunkelsüß :(

3. Platform Wedge Sandals

Ahh my dream shoes! I loved everything about them from the beginning :) I really like wedge soles because they're super comfortable to wear. Also, the material (what's the name of this short, velvet-like material?) makes them look quite elegant, despite the cork sole.

Love on first sight! They look pretty much the same as on the pictures. However, they are also quite small. It's still okay, as they are "open", but with sandals I'm always worried it will look funny when my toes are sticking out (I don't really like open shoes in general to be honest, but sometimes in summer it looks better to certain clothes...).

The quality is pretty much okay. There are some seams which look less well-done than others, but overall, they're neat. Except for...

After test-walking for like 3 minutes, one of the straps just ripped - or actually rather... disintegrated. Looks like the seam was badly done, so the two parts of the strap just came apart. I think I can fix it easily, either myself or at my favorite cobbler, how can fix anything from shoe soles to zippers and handbags, but still, it's annoying =/

Couldn't get any better worn pictures, sorry :( But it's kinda awkward to take photos of your own feet XD Anyway, what do you think? Do they look much too small or is it still okay? I mean, you can see that they're not perfectly sized for me, but in this case, I am sure that one size bigger would be too big for me, as these are already pretty loose at the front =/ They are rather comfy to walk with, but I haven't tested them over a longer period of time yet.

However, they came with a bonus: the most ridiculously deep profile I've ever seen on shoes like this XD It's actually pretty cool though. I also like how it looks like little teeth from the side, hehe. Overall, I really like these. I just have to fix the strap somehow. I do wonder if they will look awkward though, as they are a bit too small (measured again, it's maybe 230mm but definitely not 235mm). If you want to buy these shoes, and have rather wide feet or ankles, rather buy them a size bigger to make sure they fit you.

4. Miscellaneous Stuff

I was looking through their shop to find some small stuff to order along with the clothes and ended up buying to belts and two clip-in ponytails.

The black one can be found here and the one with the chiffon flowers is this one. The latter is still somewhat squashed from the transport so it doesn't really look like on the website.

I have a worn picture with it below with one of the dresses!

The black corset belt is just perfect. I grew to love these kinds of belts more and more, as I have a rather small upper body, so quite often dresses with baby doll or similar cuts will look really unflattering on me - but with the help of such a belt that's no problem anymore. It fits really well and is also very comfortable. The Velcro tape makes it easy to close while being still soft in the back - a great advantage over a similar belt I have, that closes with buttons in the back which can actually be quite painful, e.g. when leaning on a chair. Nothing to add here, for $ 1.50 and $ 1.58 respectively, there's really nothing you can do wrong with these.

I also found something I wanted to order from ebay - before I found it on dresslink, for a fraction of the price. For $ 5.90 I got two clip in pony tails.

They look really lovely - silky soft and shiny without looking "fake". The closing mechanism works nicely, but I only unpacked and tried them out once very briefly, becauseit turns out that unfortunately "black" is not always "jet black", as in this case, it's more of a very dark brown.

Here you see the color in comparison to my own hair color :( Unfortunately, the difference is just too big to overlook it. Especially in summer my hair really does shine more blue-ish and the brown locks just don't blend in at all. I ordered them mainly because my own hair is curling-resistant, but it's really no use if the color is that much different. I will try to exchange them for midnight blue/blue-black ones on Dunkelsüß, I hope I'll find someone who's willing to swap!

5. Flower pattern chiffon dress: "The nightgown"

I was sooo not sure if I'd like it in real life (because real life is a cruel bitch and I don't have photoshopped-perfect 1m-long legs like the model on the website does). Also, it's beige, and as mentioned before I actually hate beige! Even now I think it would look sooo much better in offwhite or cream, haha. But still.... I like it a lot!

Had to censor my face because I look really grungy at the moment because of all the studying, sorry ^^"

I ordered size M, mainly because of the bust measurement, but at the waist it's a big too large. But it's nothing a belt couldn't fix :D

I like it even better with the belt! Together with the shoes and a brown wig (which I'll probably get soon) I think I'll put together a gyaru/hime-gyaru inspired look soon!

I was honestly surprised at how short it turned out to be .__. My legs are so untrained at the moment >_< But I'll work on it so I can wear the dress with more confidence, haha!

I wasn't sure if I would like the pattern and the "structure" of the cloth in real life, but it turns out it's really subtle. The used materials seem of good quality and all seems appeared to be well-sewn.

Detail on the collar

The dress is an upper dress made of chiffon with print, and below that is a layer of fake-silk. It feels really good on the skin and doesn't get too hot like some kinds of polyester. It's very comfortable and beautiful, and I'm looking forward to wearing it soon!

6. Long floral sundress

I couldn't decide on either the pink or black colorway, and the feedback from others was mixed as well, so I ended up ordering both. For $ 10.60 each, I guess it's manageable.

Okay, the shoes are questionable in this context but the dress is just..... I love it! It fits perfectly, I love the pattern and the colors and it doesn't make me look like a stump :D I haven't worn long dresses in... I don't even know, which means like forever! Because I always thought as a small person with rather short legs I can't really afford it because it will make me look even smaller and stumpy. But I think this dress is really flattering :)

And I can't even say which colorway I like better. I'm just super happy that I bought both!

I'll show you some more details from the light print, simply because it's easier to take photos, but I assure you the black one is equally beautiful!

The photo doesn't do the print any justice, in reality the main color is a very soft pink, in German we'd probably call it "Puderrosa", "powder pink".

There are only two problems with the dress. First, they added these padded cups to the front, which gives the bust part its shape and makes it less see-through. While I appreciate the idea, I just wish they would have sewn them in instead of just putting the pads in between two layers of cloth. They're all wonky and weird and moving all the time, as you can see on the photos where I wear the dresses. Also, it always kinda looks like you're wearing a super obvious, shiny white bra underneath. Couldn't they have used skin colored pads? :( Not sure what I'll do about that.... It's even worse with the black colorway, because here the pads are white too!!
Tell me, did you notice it too on the photos before you read this, or is it just me? XD

Second problem: the shirring. It has a shirring on the front and backside, so I suppose the "one size" should fit a lot of people. But the shirring doesn't come together, as they are positioned differently >__<
Again, for me this is a problem as my waist/upper body are the slimmest parts of my body and I don't wanna have bulky amounts of cloth that hang around unflattering there! It's more noticeable on the pink one, though. I guess I'll wear these dresses with belts too, unless it's really hot.

Overall impression: I LOVE IT. Them. Whatever. Anyway, I really really like these dresses and I think they are elegant enough to be worn to a wedding in summer, don't you?

So finally this is the end of my review :) Thanks for reading, if you have any questions regarding the items, just leave a comment!
And if you're interested in the pink shoes or dark brown ponytails, let me know!

Random Stuff: Shopping, Robots and Make up

2013-05-17T22:51:00.004+02:00

The date of my final exam is approaching, and while I still don't know yet if I'm actually entitled to take the exam at all, I found that I really haven't blogged much this month so far. So I decided to put together a bunch of pics I've taken lately, and combine them into this "random" post, because by themselves they're not really worth an own entry. Enjoy!

I think this was the first time that I did a decent job on a "cat eye" eyeliner shape...

Found this old corset-like shirt and wore it with a smudgy black make up look to a friend's birthday party. Excuse the dirty mirror please >__<

Went to the robot-themed exhibition of the Technical Museum of Vienna and saw a bunch of creepy, creepy stuff ♥ Would you be interested in a separate entry featuring more from these "Maschinenmenschen" ?

Spent some time at my parent's place before my mum left on a business trip to Dubai for 10 days...

Finally, after weeks and weeks of waiting, after being shipped to Finland by accident, and then back to Korea and then fortunately NOT to Australia, my BB cream arrived XD

Also new in: A pastel colored, super long wig ♥ I am absolutely undecided how to style it .__. Meanwhile I'm waiting for two more wigs and already decided about the next I'm going to order XD

Bought the new HIM album and fell in love with it ♥ The songs are fantastic, beautiful and so emotional. I love how every song kinda reminds me of a different of their older albums, e.g. All Lips Go Blue has a kinda of "Venus Doom" vibe to it. I also bought tickets for Nova Rock festival so I can see them live in June!

Now that my hair has a decent length, I enjoy wearing it in a braid more often :)

Double colored eyeliner - I am I LOVE with the combination of pink and blue. Doesn't look so good on my stupid eyelids, though.

♥ Find more pictures on my instagram ♥

At the end of the month I'll attend another Lolita meet up to celebrate International Macaron Day. We're going to a very elegant café so my initial plans of wearing Sweet Lolita do not seem appropriate any more :'D
So I thought about wearing this, maybe with a Hime-like hairstyle, or something remotely close to it that I am capable of turning my hair into D: But I still lack a white handbag.... I hope I'll find something suitable!

Other than that, my life is kinda unexciting at the moment. I have to study hard to pass the exam in June, but it's really frustrating that I don't even know if I can actually take it yet, because I might or might not have failed the big and super difficult Pharmacology exam last week... and if I did, I'll have to take the Bachelor exam in September -_- It would seriously ruin my summer, so I hope I passed and I hope I'll KNOW it soon!

Tomorrow I'll visit some furniture stores together with my boyfriend, so we can get some ideas for our new flat ♥
What are your plans for the week end?

Encourage Diversity

2013-05-15T19:53:00.003+02:00

I'll start in German because I reference a German article, but I'll provide you with a translation/summary of what this is about below! To those who understand both, I recommend reading the English version of my rant because imo it's just much better worded :'D

Via Dunkelsüß wurde ich Aufmerksam auf einen Artikel einer österreichischen Jugendfeminismus-Plattform (oder irgendsowas):

MonA-Net ist ein Online-Netzwerk, das vor allem Mädchen und junge Frauen in ganz Österreich anspricht und ihnen die Möglichkeit gibt sich hier zielgruppengerecht zu informieren.

So trocken und sachlich sich das für dich auch anhören mag, hier geht es um DICH !!!

...vorrausgesetzt du passt in das enge Schema dass diese Personen, die die Seite gestalten, offenbar von der jungen Damenwelt hat.

Der Artikel um den es geht behandelt das Thema Lolita-Mode und wurde im Online-Magazin Teil der Seite veröffentlicht. Dort ist die Rede von "Puppen-ähnlichen Kostüme", "Mädi-Look", "Kult" und "Doppelleben".

Abschließend ist man der Meinung "Ob diese fragwürdige Moderichtung auch bei uns Einzug hält ist fraglich." [sic]

Zusammenfassend kann man also sagen dass ich als Lolita ein einer nicht vorhandenen Minderheit/Subkultur angehörendes, dumm-naives, verlogenes, aufmerksamkeitsgeiles Püppchen bin.

It's a WIP, thus the unfinished parts but it suits the topic so I wanted to show it!

Okay, erwischt. Ich trage in der Uni und im Labor kein Lolita, führe also wahrhaftig ein "Doppelleben". Allerdings werfe ich mich zu Hause dann auch nicht in Lolita, sondern in bequeme Klamotten. Und neben Lolita trage ich auch andere Kleidungsstile wenn ich ausgehe. Also führe ich sogar ein noch viel mysteriöseres Dreifach- oder gar Vierfachleben! Und aufmerksamkeitsgeil, naja, das bin ich vielleicht, aber definitiv nicht geil nach der Aufmerksamkeit fremder Männer, abgesehen davon dass die meisten (die ich kenne) sich von der Lolita Mode ja nicht unbedingt ästhetisch angesprochen fühlen. Dennoch, nach dem Genuss dieses Artikels entdecke ich eine gewisse Diskrepanz zwischen dem was dort geschrieben steht und meiner Auffassung von Lolita. Aber die Pointe kommt ja bekanntlich zum Schluss, und dieser Schlusssatz hat es mir richtig angetan:

Selbstbewusste junge Frauen haben es nicht nötig zu unmündigen "Puppenmädchen" zu mutieren.

Also da kann ich nur sagen... bringt ihr mal das fucking Selbstbewusstsein auf in voller Sweet-Lolita Montur auf die Straße zu gehen! Auch noch heutzutage kann es einem leicht passieren dass man ausgelacht und beschimpft wird, weil man anders ist und sich von der grauen Masse abhebt. Aber gerade das zeugt von Selbstbewusstsein. Wir treffen uns nicht in kleinen sektiererischen Gruppen unseres "Lolita-Kults" in denen wir unser mysteriöses, geheim-geheimes Doppelleben diskutieren, sondern wir nutzen eine gemeinsame Leidenschaft um Netzwerke, neue Kontakte zu knüpfen, und Freunde zu finden. Dabei ist es egal ob man im "Doppelleben" Krankenpflegerin, Supermarktangestellte, Chemikerin, Studentin oder Schülerin ist, denn die Treffen werden einfach dazu genutzt Spaß zu haben, bei Ausflügen, Museums- oder Kaffeehausbesuchen oder Picknicks.

Wir sind selbstbewusste junge Frauen die diese Mode tragen, weil sie uns gefällt, und nicht weil wir jemandem damit gefallen wollen.

Diese Stelle hat es mir ja auch angetan:

Bei der Aussagekraft der Lolita-Bewegung und wofür sie steht scheiden sich die Geister. Die einen sagen,dass der "Mädi-Look" ein Zeichen der Angst vor wirtschaftlicher Unsicherheit in Japan ist. Durch den Baby-Kleidungsstil würden die Mädels der "sorgenfreien Zeit" der Kindheit nachtrauern.

Ein "Die anderen sagen...", eine Gegenüberstellung mit Gegenargumenten dieser negativ behafteten Darstellung, eine andere Erklärung, erwartet man aber vergeblich. Da hilft auch das Gerede von Unanpassungsfähigkeit und Anders-Sein nicht mehr, denn mit Lolita hat das in erster Linie nicht mehr zu tun als mit allen anderen Moden und Subkulturen auch. An dieser Stelle hätte ich mir sehr gewünscht, dass man vielleicht eine sachliche Erklärung von einer Quelle wie Dunkelsüß oder lolitafashion.org, wie es von wikipedia zitiert wird, zulässt, die weder von Angst noch Unsicherheit, sondern von einem Trend gegen die Übersexualisierung der Frau sprechen. Eigentlich doch etwas, das von einem feministischen Standpunkt her begrüßenswert sein könnte, wenn man sich denn die Mühe machen würde, da ein wenig genauer zu recherchieren...

Über die Auslegung der Moderichtung gibt es ja immer wieder Diskussionen. Age-Play, Kindchenschema und Püppchenkleider sind da oft gebrauchte Schlagworte, aber wenn man sich ein wenig mit der Mode beschäftigt stellt man ziemlich schnell fest dass es auch sehr elegante und auch gar-nicht-kindische Ausprägungen des Stils gibt. Das würde aber erstmal voraussetzen dass man sich mit der Mode überhaupt beschäftigt bevor man einen Artikel darüber schreibt. Es wäre so einfach, sich zB im Dunkelsüß-Lexikon über die Mode zu informieren, und den weiterführenden Links zu folgen. Aber das war offensichtlich schon zu viel verlangt, denn nach dem Lesen des Artikels muss man davon ausgehen dass sich von den VerantwortlichINNEN niemand diese Mühe gemacht hat. Denn so weit zu gehen da eine Böswilligkeit zu unterstellen indem man wider besseren Wissens Lolitamode so darstellt, das will ich nun nicht...

Anscheinend halten sich die Damen des redaktionellen Teams auch nicht so recht an ihre eigene Nettiquette die da gleich als erster Punkt besagt

Versetze dich immer erst in die Lage derjenigen, die du anschreibst! Überlege dir beim Schreiben genau, wie das, was du mitteilst, wohl bei deinem Gegenüber ankommt. Mit einem unüberlegtem Wort schießt du schnell übers Ziel hinaus.

Vergiss nie: Auch am "anderen Ende" sitzt ein Mensch wie du! Die wenigsten "Userinnen" denken leider daran, dass ihre Nachrichten nicht von Computern gelesen werden. Schreibe nie etwas, was du deinem Gegenüber nicht auch ins Gesicht sagen würdest.

Aber Feministinnen haben es offenbar nicht nötig sich in die Lage von dummen Puppenmädchen zu versetzen. Anscheinend sind wir halt keine "Menschen" und deswegen kann man so herablassend über uns sprechen.

Ich trage noch nicht lange Lolita, doch gerade mein erstes Treffen mit Lolitas aus der Umgebung hat mir gezeigt wie toll und offen diese Community ist und ich fühle mich ihr auch sehr stark zugehörig. Ich beschäftige mich nun schon seit über drei Jahren sehr eingehend mit dieser Mode, auch wenn ich sie selbst noch nicht annähernd so lange trage, und fühlte mich von dieser herablassenden und vor Allem fehlerhaften Berichterstattung einfach nur verarscht und ehrlich gesagt in meinem Selbstwertgefühl von den Verfassern beleidigt. Aber die Zielgruppe dieser Seite sind wohl jüngere, verunsichertere Mädchen als ich, die noch schön "formbar" sind und denen man einreden kann was "richtig" und "falsch" ist. Die in ihrem Charakter und ihrem Selbstbewusstsein eben noch nicht so gefestigt sind, dass sie so Aussagen wie " Selbstbewusste junge Frauen haben es nicht nötig zu unmündigen 'Puppenmädchen' zu mutieren." eben doch beeinflussen. Denn "selbstbewusste junge Mädchen" haben vor Allem eines nicht nötig, und das ist sich von EUCH vorschreiben zu lassen was sie angeblich nötig haben und was nicht!

In meinen Augen ist es eine absolute Fehlinterpretation der Emanzipation, dass man diese umkehrt und alles was mit vermeintlich "weiblichen" Attributen versehen ist, verteufelt und verbieten will. Dadurch erlegt man sich als Frau doch erst recht wieder Schranken auf. Ich darf nicht nähen, weil das dem altmodischen Rollenbild meines Geschlechts enstpricht? Darf keine Freude am Kochen und Backen haben, weil ich eine emanzipierte Frau sein soll (die sich von Fastfood ernährt, oder wie darf ich mir das vorstellen?) ? Ich darf mich nicht hübsch anziehen weil - weil was? Weil ich dadurch das mir von anderen auferlegte Rollenbild festige?

Ich muss also Hosen tragen damit ich tough und emanzipiert bin.

Und wenn ich keine Hosen sondern hübsche Kleidchen trage, bin ich nicht emanzipiert.

Bin ich also selbst schuld, wenn ich mies behandelt werde wenn ich mich so kleide?

An welche Argumentationstaktik erinnert uns das denn ein wenig...?

Ist es nicht vielleicht vielmehr so dass durch feindselige, hasserfüllte Propaganda gegen alles was früher mal mit Weiblichkeit assoziiert wurde, die Frauen die diese Attribute ihr Eigen nennen und diese Aspekte in ihrem Leben schätzen, zu Opfern gemacht werden die sie gar nicht sind?

Das Ziel der Emanzipation ist heutzutage wohl nicht das Abschaffen der Geschlechterunterschiede sondern das Abschaffen des weiblichen Geschlechts, oder wie?

An die VerfasserINNEN des Artikels kann ich nur folgende Worte richten:

Wagte es nicht mir was von Mündigkeit zu erzählen, wenn ihr anderen sagt was sie zu tun und zu lassen haben.

Wagte es nichtvon Selbstbewusstsein zu sprechen und im gleichen Atemzug Menschen zu kritisieren die einer Minderheit angehören die nicht immer auf Akzeptanz trifft, und die trotzdem das tun und tragen was sie mag und gut finden!

UND WAGT ES VOR ALLEM NICHT über etwas zu urteilen das ihr nicht kennt und eure feindseligen, engstirnigen Sichtweisen dann auch noch vor einer freundlichen Richtigstellung zu verteidigen mit den Worten:

[...] wir werden den Artikel auf unserer Homepage nicht löschen. Ihre Meinung dazu entspricht nicht unseren Leitbild feministischer Mädchenarbeit.[...]

Reaktion auf das Schreiben der Dunkelsüß-Betreiberin Scarletsedusa

Ja, wenn man Intoleranz und Unverständnis sät und die Selbstbestimmung von jungen Frauen unterwandert, dann ist das halt ein sehr seltsames Leitbild. Aber ich verstehe schon, wieso mir das ganze so sauer aufstößt. Ich bin ja gar nicht in der Zielgruppe dieses Artikels. Ich bin ja bereits eine selbstbewusste, emanzipierte junge Frau, die macht was sie will und was ihr gefällt, frei von sozialen Schranken und Geschlechterklischees. Deswegen funktioniert diese destruktive, klischeedenkenfördernde Meinungs-Aufstempelei bei mir auch nicht.

Selbst in den süßestes, kindlichsten und niedlichsten Formen dieses Stils, ist es ein absoluter Trugschluss von der Kleidung auf die Persönlichkeit ihrer Trägerin zu schließen. Ich trage gerne Lolita, und fühlte mich wohl dabei. Ich trage auch gerne Nieten und Leder und Lackplateaustiefel wenn mir danach ist, denn auch darin fühle ich mich wohl. Ich trage was ich will, was mir gefällt, und nicht was irgendjemand meint dass ich als Frau zu tragen habe, und ich lasse mir weder Hosen noch Rocke verbieten!

Als Frau definiert das was ich tue offenbar zu 100% meiner Persönlichkeit und diese kann nicht über das was ich anhabe hinausgehen? Denn nach dieser Sichtweise muss ich, weil ich mich wie eine Puppe herrichte, mich auch so verhalten und dumm wie ein "Püppchen" sein. Keine Rücksicht darauf wer ich wirklich bin und wo meine Stärken und besonderen Fähigkeiten liegen, keine Rücksicht auf meinen individuellen Charakter. Der interessiert hier nicht, denn ich bin ja nur ein dummes Püppchen das Kinderkleidchen trägt.

Und wie ist das eigentlich mit den Brolitas? Sind "wir" da tolerant genug zu sagen dass das deren freie Entfaltung ist sich so zu kleiden wie sie möchten, oder ist das bei denen auch unselbstbewusst und anti-emanzipatorisch?

Viele Lolitas die ich kenne haben den Damen die diese Seite leiten jedenfalls trotz unfeministischen, dumm-püppchenhaften Daseins zumindest eines definitiv voraus:

Wir versuchen nicht unseren Kleidungsstil anderen Menschen aufzuzwingen und ihnen zu erklären was sie zu tun haben.

Dummes Püppchen over & out.
(Und ich weiß schon dass durch öffentliches Aufregen dieser Artikel wesentlich mehr Aufmerksamkeit bekommt als er verdient, aber ich finde dass solche Themen angesprochen werden müssen. Und deswegen werde ich auch eine abgeschwächte Form dieses Artikels an die Verfasser des Berichts senden, wie schon ein paar Lolitas von Dunkelsüß es getan haben.)

~♥~♥~♥~
translation

In case you're wondering what this all is about: this is a rant (you might have guessed from the lenght) and it's a particularly angry one, because it concernes my favorite least-favorite topic, namely feminism.

Via the Dunkelsüß community I came across a very misinformed and somewhat malign article about Lolita fashion on an Austrian internet platform for girls and young women. Lolita are depicted as dull, doll-like people who play dress up to delude themselves from their real life problems. They are criticized for wearing Lolita as a costume that aids them in fleeing from reality, while in "real life", (i.e. at school or work) they dress normally. The fashion is depreciated by calling it childish and basically a sign of lack of self-confidence.

But Lolita fashion is nothing like it is described there. While some people might wear it because it remembers them of their childhood, just as some people wear it as a fetish, the majority of people wearing Lolita are just people wearing clothes they like and feel good with. The people who rote this article however, describe Lolitas as stupid little dolls and openly tell their readers that basically, "no self-respecting, self-confident girl should dress this way".

And they probably don't see why this statement is just wrong on so many levels.

Firstly, they abuse their power as a platform aimed specifically at young girls and young women to present to them something they probably don't know in a very one-sided, negative way. They add a certain connotation by using words such as "cult", "double life" and "questionable fashion". A very, very negative connotation.

At one point they say that "self-confident young women shouldn't feel the need to mutate into minor doll-girls". The word "minor" ("unmündig") in this context is used in a way that doesn't come across that well in English I suppose, but they basically mean it in the sense of "unable or not qualified to make decisions about their own lives by themselves". So this rant is like an open letter addressed to that writer or these writers.

Tell me again how we, as a group of young women (and also men, let's not forget about Brolitas here), who dress in poofy dresses with frills and lace, who wear big bonnets and hairdos and colorful wigs and carry parasols and other extravagant accessories, are not self-confident when we walk on the streets like that. On Austrian streets it's something like the visual equivalent of screaming out loud. In a crowd, people probably won't notice so easily, but when they spot (hear) you, you'll have their attention. And it's not always positive. It takes fucking guts to go out like this, and I had my share of negative feedback in public. But I grew stronger and stronger and it doesn't bother me anymore. It doesn't bother me what anybody else might think about the fashion - that it looks childish, ridiculous, strange. So go on and tell me how I have no self-confidence, when I have so much more self-confidence today than years ago, before I was into Lolita, when I was bullied throughout high school and developed body dysmorphic disorder.

Tell me again how we, as an incredibly diverse group of lovers of this fashion, are all brainwashed dolls who can't make their on decision. Tell me, as a 22-year old student who moved out at the age of 19, who lived abroad all by herself for half a year, who is only dependent on her mother fianancially because as a full -time student it's not so easily possible to support oneself financially, is not capable of living their own, "grown up" life. Tell me how we hold hands and lick lollipops together to reminisce of our childhood at meet ups (that's taken from their article by the way), when what we actually do is get together to talk, have fun, meet new people and make friends?

Tell me again how according to you it's "questionable if this questionable fashion will find it's way to Austria". Guess what, it already has. We might be a small enough minority for you to look down on, to talk about condescendingly, with your high-and-mighty know-it-all attitude, when in fact you know jackshit about this fashion and obviously either didn't put any effort into research or are deliberately spreading your distorted view on the topic. But I as an individual won't stand by idly and let that happen.

You call yourself a platform for girls and young women.
Well, you might have guessed, we're young Austrian women too, so we should deserve a fair coverage of our community on your website. Instead you hold on to your false information and tell a Dunkelsüß member, who took the time to write to you and ask for correction of the facts that you "won't delete the article" because her opinion "doesn't suit" your "concept of girl-specific youth work". Way to brush off a critic!

So go on, discriminate, spread false information, indoctrinate young girls that anything out of the norm that remotely touches femininity in one way or another is bad and despicable. I just hope that one day people like you will realize that telling people what to do and what not to do is wrong, no matter who does it and how it's done.

Whether you forbid us to wear pants or skirts equals the same. You take away the choice. You take away the chance to find out what we like for ourselves, and live our lives like we want to. You depreciate attributes coupled to the female gender by stigmatizing it, therefore actively promoting a gender-specific mindset. This is no anti-gender policy, this is an anti-female and anti-choice policy. And thinking that criticism of these narrow-minded ideas "doesn't suit your concept of girl-specific youth work" speaks for itself.

In the end the main difference between you who wrote this article and us Lolitas is that we do not judge you based on whether you wear Lolita or not, but we judge you by your words and actions. And these have cast a very damning light on you.

The everlasting problem of a girl...

2013-05-11T12:02:00.002+02:00

...who has "nothing to wear" despite a bursting wardrobe!

I'm super busy with studying at the moment, so it's kinda silent around here. But I just don't really do anything exciting or worth writing about, but I promise you as soon as my exams are over (beginning of June) I will try to write more again!

There are some pretty big events coming up and I am already now planning my outfits, haha!
First of all, my graduation ceremony will be in July, and I'm planning to wear that white and black print dress I bought in Helsinki for that purpose - even though we have the order to dress "dark and elegant". Seriously, I don't give a f*ck about their order, I think the dress is absolutely appropriate, about a meter longer than what some girls wear to such occasions, and the only thing someone might argue about is the print, but I am pretty sure most people won't even notice or take a closer look. But I think it suits my "personal style" really well without being too much over the top, and I feel very comfortable wearing it! I just have to watch my weight a bit more carefully, as I am still 4kg above my "perfect weight" and the dress is rather small ;___;
As for the hair and make up, I think some kind of pin up style could be nice. Definitely red lips, and I'd love to wear my hair in curls although I know what a difficulty that is. But I'll see :'D

Then there's my brother's wedding coming up in August!
I'm super excited already, mainly because I don't really know the bride's family all that well and though I am perfectly sure they are gonna be very relaxed about the dress code I don't really know what to wear. I'd love to buy something new for the occasion, something elegant yet fit for summer, but I really can't decide on a certain style!

Arina posted a review about a shop called dresslink.com and after I read through it I ended up browsing the whole 80+ pages of the "dresses" section of the shop, looking for something fit for the occasion XD

I came up with some ideas, maybe you'd like to help me with a decision? :)

1. Light green floral chiffon dress

I really like this dress, especially in the green color way. The belt comes separately, which is fantastic because I despise brown and would probably wear something else with it. As far as I can see from the pictures, it requires to wear something underneath, like a white top or something, but that's no problem I'd say. Overall, I think it's super cute, I'm just not entirely sure if it's too un-elegant and girlish, and maybe too short for church (though I'm smaller than the model and the dress will probably reach closer to my knees).

2. Flower pattern lace chiffon dress

I suppose you already begin to see the pattern here XD I'm a sucker for floral patterns and lace, especially in summer ;___; This one is super pretty, but I wonder if it will good even if you don't have such delicate stick legs like that model :'D and I wonder about the upper part around the bust. I'd hate it if it was loose on me, but I judging from the shape it will always be loose around the waist if it's supposed to fit around the bust...

3. Flower pattern chiffon dress aka "The nightgown"

Okay, so this one is tough. Go ahead and look at the other pics on the website first, and then please tell me what you think! I'm absolutely undecided if I find this really cute and pretty - or if it just looks like an old-fashioned nightgown .___.

I like the cut of the sleeves and the pattern, but I am unsure about the tiny surface effect thingies on the fabric, and the style of the dress overall. I don't want to go to a wedding looking like I'm directly out-of-bed but I think my judgment is influenced by Japanese Gyaru fashion and other "girly" sweet styles too much to really judge this dress with the eyes of an average person =/

4. Long floral sundress

I am absolutely in love with this one. Especially the black colorway, though, as always I wonder if the other would suit me better because of my black hair.

I love everything about it - the cut, the pattern, the material, and the length! I don't habe any long dresses because I always fear I'm gonna look like a stump when I wear such things, but this time I am kinda confident that with nice high heels I could make it look nice!

But the problem is really the choice of color - black or pink? I have a similar but shorter dress in a light color, so I think the black one would bring more variation to my summer wardrobe, but with my dark hair I wonder if it would look too dark overall :( Also there's the question whether it would be appropriate to wear this to a wedding.

But this is not where it ends!

Becuase dresslink also offers shoes - and they are just absolutely gorgeous, so I couldn't pass by without picking some of them x___x

1. Bowknot Stiletto High Heels

Gosh they're so pretty and cute I can't take my eyes off of them! Problem is, I wouldn't be able to decide on a colorway.... while I have plenty of black/white shoes, I know that colorway would suit most of my wardrobe easily. The other colors on the other hand, would fit a lot of "summer" styles, but I have a giant aversion against beige. And too all of the dresses above, the beige/pink ones would probably fit a lot better....

2. Platform buckle High Heels

Honestly, I don't really know why I added these to the list, because they don't really fit to the rest BUT they are super cute and I think could also fit to Lolita outfits. I would be inclined to order the red ones because I have black high heels but nothing red.

3. Platform Wedge Sandals

I love platform wedges, they are incredibly comfortable to wear, make your legs appear longer and more slim and the way these babies look they have good grip too so you don't feel like your falling out of your shoes all the time! Of course I'd prefer the black ones in this case. Tell me, do you think I could wear these to dress #4 ?

4. Platform Bowknot Wedge High Heels

Cute, aren't they? :3

The style reminds me a bit of Lolita, and I guess it would be possible to wear them with a Lolita outfit. The pink color is described on the website as "red" so I wouldn't dare order it, who knows what color you might get in the end... however, I guess with black or white you'd be on the safe side.

In white, they could look great with dress #1, #2 and #3, don't you think?

So, now it's your turn.... what do you think about the items?

The more I think about it, the more I tend to the long dress in black, together with the black sandals and a curly hair style... I think that could look really great, but I don't know if it's appropriate for a wedding :( On the other hand, the wedding is in August where it's really hot! Men are allowed to come without tie or bow tie, and the dress code was only described as "festive". I don't know. Any advice from your side? ^^"

Ghosts of the Past & Fear of the Future

2013-05-04T23:40:00.000+02:00

Last week I attended my long-since planned high school reunion!

Though I am jsut about to finish my Bachelor's degree, I actually graduated already 5 years ago! Looking back, it feels like an eternity. Most of the people I've met and befriended since then are younger than me, some just about to graduate or not even that, and sometimes this really makes me feel veeery old :'D

Before the meet up, I was super nervous. I organized the whole thing with the help of some former class representatives via facebook, and about 35 people agreed to come. While I do keep in touch with some of my former class mates from time to time, most of the people I hadn't seen during these 5 years at all.
I was unsure how they would treat me. Back in my school days, I was a kind of outsider and while I did have some friends, most people more or less ignored me. Since I use facebook under a fake name and wasn't "popular" during my school time, I was really wondering if everybody of these people even knew who I was :'D

This is a 1:1000 difference to what I looked when I graduated! I don't think I'll ever show you those old photos... too embarrassing ^^"

Turns out, they remembered me, and were actually really happy about the reunion and that I organized it. While there have been some awkward moments during that evening, most oft the time it was a lot of fun, and just talking about old times, where we are now and our plans for the future would have been enough to fill the whole night and more! It was really nice to see these people again, and I felt like my work to organize it all was really appreciated, which made me especially happy!

In the end, I think more people came than expected, I was absolutely unable to keep track of that, but we were definitely more than 30 at some point. Even people who have no facebook came, which made me especially happy! People were apparently just as excited about the reunion as I was, so they told their friends that were not on facebook.

I sure wish that our next reunion will be as good as this one!

During the days before the meet up, I was thinking about past decisions of mine and where they led me. I realized that my life, as it is now, was heavily influenced by this one person who was really important to me back then. I know that I held this relationship much more dear than this person did, and I guess I new it back then as well. However, staying close to this person was what made me decide to stay at that school instead of transferring to another one after 8th grade. For some time I was even considering doing an apprenticeship - to become a confectioner. And I thought about going to the same school as my cousin did, where they had cooking and service classes. But I didn't. Mainly because I didn't want to leave this person, and I hoped we would become closer if I stayed.

Needless to say, we didn't. Yet it influenced my life a lot because this choice shaped my future. In the last 4 years of high school I became more and more interested in science, which ultimately led to my choice of study. I joined the drama club and peer mediation team, where I met my boyfriend. I realized that this person and I would never become friends, but I didn't regret my choice, because a lot of other good had come from it.

Yet sometimes I think about it, the whole situation back then, and sometimes I even feel a little haunted. I wonder if I will ever meet this person again (who did not attend the reunion, by the way), if we will talk just as easy as we did all those years ago. And if one day, we will become friends just like I wished for. But I am pretty sure this is never going to happen, because just as it was back then, even now these feelings are onesided.

But that's okay.

My boyfriend once called this kind of people "ghosts". I guess probably everybody has one. It's that kind of person your really liked, maybe without them even realizing or appreciating it. While they go on about their life, not thinking about you, you keep on wondering where they are now and how they're doing. You think about them, from time to time, and if you ever see them again, you feel anxious and yet uneasy. Because you know that you liked them way more than they did like you - and you don't really want that to be affirmed by them maybe not even recognizing you.
They are the people who shaped our lives and personalities without meaning to and without realizing. And in that way, they do haunt us, maybe forever.
Do you have such a person in your life?

But not just the past, the future has been bothering me too lately.
I didn't get that summer job, and it seems like this year, a lot of people had problems finding internships for the summer. Most places just won't take you, even if you promise to work for 3 months, even if you'd work for free. They fear you'll break more than your work'll be worth, so they don't even let you try.

I talked to someone at the reunion who works in a hospital. He did his Bachelor thesis there (he studies something similar as I do), and they basically kept him there for his Master too. So he has finished his Bachelor now, and continue to work there and write his Master thesis while he studies. I have to admit I was incredibly envious of him. This is exactly what I would have wished for, yet I feel without any chance of actually getting in somewhere, because nobody will take me in!

At the same time, the thought of continuing my studies bothers me every day. I think I am fairly sure now of what I want to do, even if it's not ideal. The study program would not be wholly in English (which I think is really stupid), and it would be at the University of Vienna (with which I had very bad experiences during my time there) and I would probably have to take additional exams to cover at least 24 ECTS because they just don't care about my Bachelor's degree. Yet, I really see no better alternative. Only programmes that are either not interesting, or super redundant or entirely in German (I mean, come on people...).

But anyway, I will just hope for the best, because right now, I feel like finding a good Master programme is the least of my problems. First of all, I have to make it through the exams, and then we'll see.
Also, it might not be that bad that I don't work this summer. Maybe I can find something else to do besides renovating the flat, such as sewing! I'll just try to be optimistic about it all, and hope that one day, I'll even find a job that is better payed than 300€ per month, so I can make a living.

On one hand, it would be good to have more time. On the other hand, I won't be having any money to do something decent anyway. Which wouldn't matter if I had a job to spend my time on. I wouldn't even need to get paid well, because I'd just be glad to have something to write in my CV.... Oh well, it's a vicious circle. I know that I'll be sad and depressed if I don't find a job for the summer, but I'll try my best to keep it away from other people at least :'D

Sooo what are your plans for the summer? Have some already?

J-Fashion Meet up in Vienna ♥

2013-04-28T22:31:00.000+02:00

On Saturday there was this big J-fashion meet up in Vienna, and I was there, dressed in Lolita!

It was my second time outside in public wearing Lolita, but it was sooo much better then the first time. People around me were much friendlier and very positive about my outfit and styling. No stupid comments, except for one women who burst into laughter when I passed by, however she seemed a bit crazy overall, so I couldn't care less :)

I didn't take any photos myself except for few cell phone shots, but other people took many photos and you can find some on the Austrian Lolita Fashion facebook page, as well as on greencat's facebook. He really is a talented photographer, and when I looked at his dA account I noticed that he is also the photographer of last year's winning picture of the Aninite photography contest! It even made its way to 9gag at some point if I remember correctly. I really love his work! (and now I'm even more excited about making a cosplay myself and maybe being photographed by him again if it turns out nicely, haha :D )

Photographer: greencat (facebook/deviantart)

Photographer: greencat (facebook/deviantart)
My hair is so messy XD Damned wind! But I finally managed cut my fake bangs to look more or less decent!

The super cute girl to my right side is Bibi. Mimi and me befriended her there as it was her first meet up of that kind as well so we hung out together!

Another photographer present was Drago from Awe Some Photography. He really put a lot of effort in his shots and gave instructions what we should do, where we should look etc. It was an interesting experience, and I think it was worth the effort! His ideas were really cool and you can have a look at the results here!

A lot of other, random people who passed by took photos of us as well. Some of them were tourists - some even asked us to take photos with them! There was this one woman who came over to ask us about the gathering and what the occasion was, and was really interested when we explained the different styles to her.

But also outside of Museumsquartier people were incredibly friendly towards me. I didn't expect it at all, since my last experience with Lolita fashion was a bit unpleasant at times (people laughing at me and yelling at me "Emo!" etc). This time, I received only compliments! One women told me on the street how much she loved my outfit and that it's a very beautiful style. And when I went to the MAC store at Westbahnhof, the employee there also complimented my make up! O:

Mimi & me at Westbahnhof drinking Bubble Tea ♥ I still remember how we went there for the first time together :3I look like a total psycho XD

Macarons! :3 Who would have guessed that there's even such a thing as International Macaron Day? There'll probably be a Viennese Lolita meet up on that day again, so I guess I have another opportunity to wear Sweet Lolita and this bracelet quite soon :3

There were people dressed in Pastel Goth, Cult Party Kei, J-rock influenced style, one person even came in Shiro Nuri style and of course there were also Gyarus and Lolitas. I don't really know a lot about styles other than Lolita and Gyaru but I think it's really cool that there was such a big diversity among the people at the meet up!

It was great to meet some other Lolitas. At first I felt a bit uncomfortable and like and outsider, because Mimi and me didn't know anybody there. But we soon befriended Bibi and the other Lolitas were very kind and welcoming too. During and after the photo shoot we also got to talk a bit more and it was a lot of fun! But not only the Lolitas but everyone was really nice :) I am really looking forward to going to another meet up like this soon!

The outfit I chose was also influenced by the feedback I got on my suggestions on facebook. I definitely plan to wear the other outfits soon as well, especially the Blue Rose dress that I love so much ♥ And I definitely have to sew myself a new, better petticoat. The self-sewn one I have is practically dead because it's made of tulle which isn't very long lasting (I didn't know at the time). But the super poofy one I bought from ebay a while ago was too short for this dress! I think the heat and all the walking on that day also took its toll on the petti, as it looked slightly better in the morning still. I also wanted to alter my white Bodyline dress that's too big on me...

Anway! It was a lot of fun, I enjoyed meeting new people and wearing Lolita! And I think I never got so much attention and positive feedback about my appearance ever before :DD Such a great boost for my self confidence after Friday's disastrous news...

Lolita fashion is really fun. I like the aesthetics, I love the variety of the different styles, and I got a chance to make new friends that I'll gladly take!

There are no shortcuts in life

2013-04-26T21:48:00.000+02:00

I got really depressing news today. I got a rejection email from the research institute where I basically applied for my dream job.

I am so incredibly sad and disappointed now. I know it's my own fault for getting my hopes up so high. I know I should have known better from the beginning than to expect anything positive, after all I knew there were other applicants even from my own university - one of them probably having better grades than me and a better thesis topic. Still, it hurts me so much to see my dreams for the future crumble to dust.

I was expecting to prove myself to the people there during the internship, to facilitate getting into the PhD program at that place next January. I was hoping it would help me make up for the "lost" time before I started my current study - I studied at the university of Vienna for 2 years before I found the "right" thing for me, and these years are completely wasted and lost, and as it seems now, will forever be.

Now I can't stop wondering what the reason for the rejection was.
Do I come across to unfriendly? Is it the content of my letter of motivation?
Is it my grades? Is 1.4 still not good enough, considering that I have some "bad" grades in some of the main subjects like Chemistry or Clean Room Training?

Is it my thesis topic, which, as I found out too late, even contains a word that is used in the fucking wrong context, because at that time I didn't know any better and nobody bothered to tell me until after it had been approved?

Or is it the fact that I have only worked for every single summer since I was 16, the last years all in scientific companies or institutes, to prove my motivation and polish up my CV?

I am so disappointed right now.
I got my former internships always because I knew somebody, somewhere, who was able to help me one or the other way to get into some interesting position and work there for a few weeks. I thought that by now, I'd have proven myself enough to get a position only with my own skills and experience. I was so wrong.

I wonder if I will ever find a job that way.
I'm the first in my family to go into scientific research, so I don't have any "connections". I have no doctors or scientists in my family and got my previous two jobs thanks to chance encounters and was incredibly lucky that I knew someone who knew someone who knew someone... etc.
Now my "connections" are depleted. I can go back to a place I have previously been, but what for? I really wish to get into a specific direction, and working in a completely sifferent area of research won't help me to get accepted there any more than it already does.

I really don't know what to think anymore.
I regret so many life choices I made, that I sometimes think it would have been better if I had never started to go to university at all. Maybe I would be so much better off as an office worker or if I had done an apprenticeship. I wanted to become a confectioner once. For real. People have told me it would have been a waste, but honestly - what have I proven so far other than that I know how to make use of connections? Nobody wants me solely because of my skills or wits or because I achieved this or that. People don't want me. How much will this change if I just do more and more, when at the same time I get older and older and the same grave mistakes remain like fat and ugly stains in my CV?

I feel depleted of all energy now. I am drained, I don't know how I'll manage to study for the exam in June.

Of course I'll try to find something else. It was my mistake from the beginning to apply for one job only. I told myself I wouldn't mind if I don't get it and that I could work on the flat renovation instead. But I don't feel comfortable with that actually. I wanna do something, I wanna learn and prove myself, I want to get a chance to do that. I will try to find another job, even if it's probably already far too late by now.

I just realized that I'm not afraid anymore that nobody might wanna talk to me at the class reunion next week. I don't wanna talk anyway.

New Lolita stuff: Big Bodyline Review

2013-04-24T17:15:00.004+02:00

So after quite some ordeal and fearful waiting, my Bodyline order finally arrived safely last week! This time, the imminent disaster was apparently just a tracking error, and I even had to pay only 10€ tax (not 65€ like the last time -_-)

Since I've been trying to google for reviews of certain items before and rarely found any detailed ones, I decided to make one on my own this time, to hopefully help future buyers to make their decisions! So in this blogpost, I'm gonna review the items L144, L416 and L514 with tons of pictures :) I hope it's useful to somebody!

L514 Rose Bouquet High Waist Skirt (Link)

I'll be starting off with my "dream skirt" - I've been wanting to order this for quite some time now because I absolutely fell in love with the beautiful print!

What caught my eye right away was the white lace print at the border. Also, I just love flower prints, and roses are my favorite flowers, so it's perfect for me. The print is sharp and very detailed and the colors match the pictures on their website very well.

But not just the printed lace, also the one used for decoration is very pretty.

This skirt has a shirring in the back and corset boning - 4 in the front and one on the side opposed to the zipper. It fits my waist perfectly (60cm) without having to pull the shirring all the way.

The shirring from the inside. It's very well-sewn and looks sturdy from what I can tell and everything fits comfortably.

Shirring from the outside - I like the lace they used here!

Unfortunately, there was a little damage on one of the loops used for the lacing of the corset part. It seems like it was ripped out, and it was that way already when I got it. As the rubber bands support the high waist part very well, it is not necessary to close to lacing very tightly to achieve a corset-like look, so I hope the damage won't get worse over time.

On the top part of the skirt the lace-lines of the fabric do not meet symmetrically where the corset boning is sewn in, but it's not very noticeable (unless you have OCD I guess...).

The zipper is very sturdy, but I had difficulties closing it near the seam of the lower and upper part. I miss a hook at the upper end of the zipper, it always makes closing them much easier... I will probably sew one in to support the zipper and facilitate closing it!

The bow you can see on the photos of their website is - as I had hoped - detachable. I don't really like bows at the belly area, so I'm happy to have a matching hairbow or decoration for a handbag etc.

Lastly: a worn picture! Please note that the lacing in the back was not closed as I was not able to close it by myself because my hair got in the way :'D But you can see that it gives a very nice shape around the waist! The length is perfect for me - I'm 1.6m and it ends well below my knees without making me look stumpy, haha!

All in all, I'd rate this item a 5/5! It's nicely sewn together, they used quite good quality materials and it looks just like the picture on their website. Altogether a great skirt! The same printed fabric was used for this dress. I really like the design, especially the V-shaped cut of the neckline, but it has no shirring, and I guess it wouldn't fit me around the bust, waist and shoulders. But if you like the print and prefer OPs over skirts, this is a nice alternative!

L461 Cutsew (Link)

I ordered this item to have an alternative to blouses on warmer days and to wear to more casual styles. I was a little bit disappointed when I unpacked it...

I suppose it's easy to spot why. That one lace near the bust is offwhite instead of white :( It's so obvious it almost looks yellow!

Apparently they've just picked the wrong type of lace, because the one at the bottom is the same, but true white. Other than that, the lace is rather cute - especially the little heart-shapes, though the mix of shiny polyester (?) and cotton (?) is a bit off-setting under the light of a camera flash (at least for me). But this difference is barely noticeable under real light conditions.

I'm really sad about the mismatching lace, because it's very obvious if the item is worn alone. Under a JSK it's no problem of course, but I wanted to wear it like that too. Maybe I'll try to cut it off without damaging the cutsew, or do you know of any way to bleach it white without harming the fabric of the cutsew? :(

I 'll also probably remove the smaller bows around the neckline:

I seriously despise that kind of material (I don't know what it's called) and I actually don't even know why. I just think that it's kinda ugly, and it's also not the same shade of pink as the fabric. I would have preferred satin ribbons instead... But I was planning on removing them from the beginning anyway, because I think it's a bit "too much".

Worn it looks really cute - even though at first I thought it will be too big on me. I usually like it better if my clothing fits more tight because otherwise I feel like it makes me look much larger, but this cutsew actually has a nice shape, I really like the ruffles at the bottom and the shape of the sleeves!

In the end, it's a nice item, but I was just unlucky and got one with an error. 3/5 I'd say, because it's a shame they picked the wrong lace, but other than that, it's cute.

L144 Merry-go-round JSK (Link)

Now this was a rather spontaneous choice when I placed my order - Initially, I only wanted to buy the skirt and a pair of white shoes, and then I looked for other stuff to buy along with it and save some shipping costs etc and make it worth the effort. So I stumbled upon this JSK!

From what I've read that dress was first released in 2010, and re-released since then quite a bunch of times. I guess I was lucky that when I placed my order it was there again, and even in the black colorway - perfect for a Bittersweet Style! Another reason why I did pick this dress in the end was the price. For roughly 30€ I thought it's a great deal, especially after I had seen some owner pictures and read a good review. Lastly, I was happy to find out that they had a size "S" for this dress! Even though it has a shirring in the back, the smaller bust and waist measurement are perfect because I just don't like it if a dress is too loose on me (like the one on the model...) or I have to close the shirring all the way.

These kind of Merry-go-round prints have been popular for quite some time already, and while this is probably the cheapest you can get, the print design is actually pretty cute. The colors are well chosen and match, and the pony-print is also well placed on the waist ties (not severed heads XD). However, of course for such a price, it can be expected that the quality of the print is a bit flawed.

Close up the dark color seems to have bled a little bit. I hope it doesn't do this while washing ._.

Here the lilac/purple of the ponies mane and hooves as well as the yellow from the stars is "blurry".

The borders of all the printed details are actually purple.

But this is really not an issue unless you look at the print very, veeeeery closely. I bet you probably didn't notice from the first picture either :) Another issue seems to be the lace. Compared to the first item in this review, there's really a huge difference.

This is where the ends of the lace meet, it's at the left vertical seam of the dress and makes a strange dent inwards because there's too much fabric.

The lace at the straps is rather shabby too, but I guess if I cut off the loose threads and lints it will be okay.

Interestingly, the lace used for the bodice is much more beautiful!

I like it that they took care to place the fabric in a way that the stripes are horizontally on the top part of the bodice!

Also, the ribbons at the straps are made from satin, yay! I thought about cutting them off but it turns out I actually like them the way they are - for now. If I cut them off I'd probably add a safety pin to put them back again if I feel like it. Overall, I think the design is rather balanced the way it is.

This dress too comes with a detachable bow. Again, I'm glad the bow isn't fixed because I'd rather have a bow in my hair than in front of my belly, especially with a dress that has a rather high waist line such as this one.

The bow is cute and again they took care to place the stripes of the fabric in a convenient way. I'm not sure about the small pink satin bows though, I'll probably take them off. Interestingly, one of the types of lace used for the bow is really pretty, and the other a bit shabby again. But overall, it looks okay, except for some loose threads and leftover fabric that can easily be cut off.

Lastly, a worn picture:

Gosh, my hair is so pretty today XD

So, this looks a bit awkward shape-wise, because it makes this kind of bulge on one side but not on the other - I guess it's because I wore my self-sewn petticoat that doesn't have a very regular shape, and I'm also standing a bit "crooked" on that photo. In general, I think the dress could probably fit both cupcake and (smaller) A-line petticoats without looking too awkward. As you can see, the length is quite alright as well on me. The bodice fits nicely too - again, I didn't tighten the lacing in the back and only bound the waist ties, so the fit could be even more perfect, but even like this it's actually quite okay (especially considering that the blouse has waist ties on its own that probably make a bit of a bulge underneath the dress near the waist). For this, I can give a 4.5/5. It's worth the money, but you really don't get more than what you pay for. Still, it's a nice design, and I hope I have a lot of opportunities to wear it in the future!

I also ordered a pair of shoes, which I'm not gonna review in detail yet because I'd rather assess their comfort when I've worn them out :)

In the end, I'm overall quite happy with the items I ordered, especially since all the flaws I found can be fixed one way or the other. I hope the review and pictures are helpful for others who plan on ordering these items! Thanks for reading!

Review: GEO Magic Color 3tone series

2013-04-21T18:43:00.001+02:00

It's been a while since my last circle lenses review on my blog - so I'm happy to present you a review of GEO Magic Color 3tone lenses model CM-904 (blue) !

These lenses were kindly sponsered by geocolouredlenses.com. First a bit of information about their shop, before I get to the actual review!

I. The Shop

Geoclouredlenses offer a large variety of circle lenses from the Korean manufacturer GEO.

GEO is a reliable Korean circle lense brand and in fact the only brand approved by the US FDA. They provide you with genuine lenses of this renowned brand. Many of the models they offer on their site are also avialable with corrective power - especially important for blind bats like me. Lastly, they offer free international shipping!

On their site, you can browse the products by color or by series name, they have a lot of resources such as reviewer videos and testimonials. Their site is well designed and I didn't run into any problems navigating it (which, as an Opera user, I just had to point out because it's not always the case). You can also find a lot of photos on their Facebook, Instagram (username @geolens), Tumblr and even Pinterest. They often post make up tipps and tutorials or advice for lense care on the latter two, so it's deifnitely worth checking out!

What I found especially intriguing about their site was their detailed lens care guide which is espeically important for beginners and first time wearers. Even though I've been wearing contacts since I was 12 and don't really need that kind of advice for myself, it's good that people ho are new into the topic can easily find that kind of information directly on the site!

As for the avialability of lenses with corrective power, I was a bid dissapointed to see that a lot of models I really liked didn't have it, such as some of the GEO Xtra series. Oh gosh, I love those little printed patterns, but I guess before I get a laser surgery it can't really be helped!

The only thing I was missing about their online shop was a search tool or something that would allow me to filter lenses by the availability with corrective power. Since I have no choice but to order only leneses with corrective power, it was a bit frustrating to browse through pages of grogeous lenses only to find again and again that most of my favorites were not available with power.

On the other hand, a huge plus point goes to them offering also "small steps" of power difference even at higher powers! With the last lenses I ordered, I had to take -5.00 and -5.50 though my real prescription is -5.25 and -5.00. I really appreciate this!

Another positively noteworthy thing is the fact that they recommend to discard your lenses after 4 months if you regularly use them. This clears up the often experienced confusion of circle lenses buyers that assume that the lenses are 1 year disposable, whereas some sources state otherwise. So yes, it depends on how often you wear them and how good you can take care of them if you can wear them longer than a few months!

II. Shipping

Upon ordering, they provide you with a tracking number for your package, however it sometimes doesn't work. It really seems to depend on your country, as can also be seen from the explanation on their Delivery & Returns page. In my case, I just blame it on the Austrian postal service, because they don't seem to be very diligent when it comes to tracking stuff :'D However, my package arrived safely within 7 days (5 working days).

The glass bottles containing the lenses were neatly packed in a protective foil, and along with them came a lens container, a kind of business card and a little leaflet with instructions for lens care etc. Again, I think this is especially helpful for beginners!

Overall, I was very pleased with their shipping practice. At this point I would also like to point out that the contact has been very friendly and helpful, and their Englishw as so good that I was confused at first and thought they actually ship from the UK, haha!

III. The Lenses

In this second part of the review, let's have a closer look at the lenses themselves!

As mentioned before, the model I chose was Magic Color 3tone CM-904 as I wanted to have a pair of more natural looking lenses. I was expecting them to enhance my natural eye color and I was curious about the effect of the slightly yellowish inner border. I prefer light lenses with a smooth transition, because I have a rather light natural eye color, so I was hoping they would blend well.

Specificiations:

Power Range: 0.00 ~ -10.00

Diameter: 14.2mm

Base Curve Radius: 8.6

Water Content: 38~42%

1 year disposable

Color/Print/Effect

Click on the picture to check out a high res version of the photo where you can see the print quite well!

So, the print appears a bit different close up when compared to the pictures from the manufacturer, they seem a bit less greenish overall, however on that photo they also appear a bit darker than in real life. Especially the limbal ring (outer ring of the iris) is rather prominent on this photo, but not as dark when you hold the lens in your hand.

Click for close up!

So, here you see a picture of my fantastically naked face, haha. But it's easy to see that the limbal ring is not as dark as it appears at first. Interestingly, the contrast between the purplish blue at the outer ring and the semi-translucent yellowish ring in the middle change my eye color to appear a bit more greenish or turquoise. Anyway, the yellow/hazel is not visible per se and blends in perfectly with my natural eye color, especially from afar. The lenses are very subtle and the effect is pretty. However, as you can see, the enlargement effect is not very big, so if that's what you're looking for, these are probably not the best choice, having only 14.2 mm diameter.

Comfort

Somehow, I didn't find the lenses very comfortable to wear - due to the print!

It wasn't that they were scratchy or anything per se, they actually felt very nice on the eyes and were easy to put in. I wore them for several hours without problems of dry eyes or itchiness etc.

However, the print (!) was actually getting into my field of vision most of the time >_<

I don't know how this is possible, because when looking at my eyes in a mirror it seemed normal, but sometimes the lenses would move slightly, and then the yellowish part of the print (inner ring) would move into my field of vision which left a corner of it uncomfortably blurry.

I didn't experience this with my other pair of circle lenses, which had a narrower print. I suppose this also has to do with the fact that the diameter is only 14.2mm. Larger lenses with such a large print might have less influence there, but with these lenses, this can become a bit uncomfortable.

During wearing I noticed that this occurred at an on-off basis, so from time to time I was just fine, at others, especially my left eye was blurry. In the end, it's something you get used to, and it won't be a problem when you are just out with friends. Nobody will notice either, because the print is very light an sheer, so the moving of the lens is barely noticeable - nothing compared to other lenses which have a very sharp inner border, which can make it really creepy looking when you have light eyes and wear darker lenses. However, I wouldn't wear these if I for example went to the cinema or knew that I had to drive.

Conclusion

Despite for the little issue with the blurred vision, I really like the lenses. They have a very natural look and if you have light colored eyes, the effect is great without being too obvious, so it's great for more casual looks. I personally like the fact that from afar, they make my eyes appear a little bit greenish towards the middle. The general look when worn is a pretty, lively color and a slightly darker limbal ring, so the "circle" effect is given too. If you want a more dramatic change of eye color or look, you should chose a model with a larger diameter and darker limbal ring. There are many pretty models with black limbal rings which give a gorgeous "doll eye effect"!

Comfort:
★★★★★

Enlargement/Effect:
★★★★★

Color/Design:
★★★★★

Overall:
★★★★★

Since I can't really give "half points" here I'll just leave it at 4 stars out of 5 overall, because the overall impression of the lenses is really good, except for the problem with the blurred vision. But I suppose it depends on the individual person if that problem occurs at all, so if you like the design you should definitely give it a try. The enlargement is not very big, but as these lenses are more natural on purpose (which is also the main reason I wanted to try them) I don't see this as a great flaw.

If you like the design but are looking for a different color, Geocolouredlenses offer this model in different versions, so check them out! I bet the green one would look really cool on light colored eyes :)

So, as a final conclusion, I can definitely recommend Geocolouredlenses and their shop! The service was excellent, the shipping was fast and they offer a large variety of different circle lenses, so I bet everyone will find something they like!

I would like to thank geocolouredlenses.com for the sponsorship! v^_^v

For further information on the topic of circle lenses, you can also check out my risk assessment that contains some information about how to take care of your eyes when you wear circle lenses frequently! Thanks for reading!

A difficult face

2013-04-18T21:30:00.000+02:00

I've been considering for a while now whether or not I should talk about this topic again here, but yesterday I found a video that really made me wanna write a blog post about this topic once again. Most of you might actually have already seen it, as it went kinda-viral in the past 24 hours. It's a promotional video by Dove, the company that in recent years caught public attention with its ""Natural Beauty" line of marketing, that aims to show us a more realistic image of especially women in advertisements.

Before I tell you anything more about it, I suggest you go and watch the video, and make up your mind about it:

The campaign also has its own homepage where you can see the pictures that were drawn in the process of this little "experiment", you can find it here. There is actually another, slightly longer version of the video too, which can be found here.

So, first off, I can tell you that I saw the video yesterday, a friend of mine posted it on facebook and it had a huge impact on me. Yes, I cried. Because when I listened to these women talking about themselves in such a negative way, I could hear myself. I think the video has a very beautiful, positive message, but it seems that its message does not get across in the same way to everyone, or rather that it is perceived very differently by different people. Such as the person who wrote this on their tumblr - go and read please, as there are a lot of points mentioned that I want to pick up and talk about.
To everyone their own, and I have a lot of respect for other people's opinions, but seriously, this put me off. Probably made me more angry than the writer initally was about the campaign.

[...]And I’m not trying to shame those girls!

source

No wait, actually, are you serious? Because to me, it seems like this person is shaming them a hell of a lot.
Trying to tell them that they were manipulated, that they got the message wrong, that the advertisement had a negative message because instead of broadening our perception of "beauty" and promoting thinking out of the box, it only tells us again how we have to beautiful to be happy and successful in life. It basically seemed to me like an attempt to make those people who were "lulled" in by Dove's campaign feel ashamed about their stupidity. That's not what was meant by the tumblr entry? Oh, you might have come across an important point there: messages are perceived differently by different people...I quote:

“I should be more grateful of my natural beauty. It impacts the choices and the friends we make, the jobs we go out for, they way we treat our children, it impacts everything. It couldn’t be more critical to your happiness.”

Did you hear that, ladies? How beautiful you are affects everything—from your personal relationships to your career. It could not be more critical to your happiness!

source

Okay, I can see how you might get that message from what the interviewed woman said. maybe it's the editing, maybe she's just no professional actor and didn't manage very well to get her point across. But the point is: to ME, the insecure-about-herself-prime-example-of-target-audience-person it did not seem like she was talking about the importance of beauty, but the importance of self perception.

Dear ladies out there, I don't know about you, but I can be sure for myself that I do not feel in any way negatively manipulated by that ad. I do not think that any of the women who perceived this ad in a positive way are thinking about how beauty is the most important thing in their life and they should strive to be beautiful to be happy, instead, I am pretty sure they are grateful for somebody pointing out to them that our self perception is always much more critical than another person's view of us. Basically...

Ads can only manipulate you as much as you let them.

Because WE ARE NOT STUPID. We are no empty containers waiting to be filled up by lies about how perfect our life could be if only we were more beautiful. Why does a person find themselves ugly? Probably not because fucking make up or cosmetics or whatever ads showed them perfect people - much more likely because some asshole made an unfriendly remark about their appearance. Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe over a period of years. Maybe it was a person close to them, or somebody they liked and wanted to get closer to. Maybe it was a family member.

"My mom told me I had a big jaw"

...says one of the women taking part in the experiment. Well, guess who probably made her feel uncomfortable about her jaw. The media? An image of a supermodel on the cover of a magazine? Or maybe rather her mother?

It's not ads who we get our values from, it's people. It's not ads that crush our hopes of ever becoming happy and pretty, it's the people that surround us and make us believe that we are either wonderful, lovable beings, or that treat us like shit and makes us hate ourselves. It's not ads that raise people to either be friendly and polite and respectful towards others or fail to do so. It is parents passing on values to their children, children and teenagers and their group dynamics that shape how people behave, and if you happen to come across an unfriendly person who insults you based on your appearance, it's not an ad's fault that they are being an asshole.

If a person strives to be "perfect" and wishes to have the beauty of a photoshop-polished supermodel, it's not because they are stupid and fed with lies from the advertisement industry. It's much more likely because at some point in their lives, something bad happened to them, and when they looked for support, they didn't get it. It takes so much more effort to build something back up again that was crushed ages ago, than it takes to support something that is weak at a young age. What I am talking about is - of course - self confidence. If you lack it, you will know what I mean and you are likely to have perceived the ad in a positive way. If you nit-pick on that ad to find all the negative aspects and hints towards another meaning, then you probably don't lack it, or never lacked it, and then - excuse me - you are also not the target audience of this campaign and shouldn't be talking about how it ruins women's perception of beauty when all it does is give a little comfort to people who are somewhat broken inside. So don't call them blind or stupid for not "understanding" the true meaning of the ad, because you are the ones picking your own truth and telling us that it's "truer" than the one we perceive.

Dove has been called out for hypocrisy about their campaigns several times, most of all because they are owned by the mother company Unilever which also owns AXE which is infamous for its ads. Without wanting to touch the subject of the image of women in ads, honestly, this is ridiculous.

OF COURSE a company wants to make money. OF COURSE they will try to market their stuff to you. OF COURSE Dove's aim is to sell their products and not save the freaking rain forest or stop global climate change. And luckily, they found a way to market their products that is pretty revolutionary: instead of showing you polished perfect bodies, they show you more natural, more average women that you can relate to much easier. Yes, the "average woman" they present in their ads is still rather pretty, but most of all, she is natural. She radiates the image of "I could be you! You are like me!" It's easy to relate to this kind of woman for most of us because she reminds us much more about ourself than most other women we see in ads, like for example the super skinny woman in Nivea's ad for a special skin care that's supposed to make your skin retract easier after having given birth - seriously I found that far more disturbing than any ad by AXE or Dove I had ever seen, and the biggest thing that woman probably could fit in her belly is maybe a well-chewed head of lettuce.
Dove changed the message from "We present you the perfect woman!" to "THIS IS YOU. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL".

So… I don’t know if anyone else is picking up on this, but it kinda seems to be enforcing our very narrow cultural perception of “beauty”: young, light-skinned, thin. No real diversity celebrated in race, age, or body shape. So you’re beautiful… if you’re thin, don’t have noticeable wrinkles or scars, and have blue eyes.

source

Criticizing them for showing cultural diversity, but doing it just not well enough, or pointing out how many people of which ethnicity get how much screentime - well, I just think it's a bit far-fetched. Diversity is important, but not the most important thing in an ad like this one. Because what makes you relate to this women is not their skin color, it's what they say about themselves. Seriously, if you can only relate to people because of their ethnicity, I feel as sorry for you as people who sympathize with 50% of the world population only based on their gender (but that's another topic). Also, not all Caucasians look the same, just as not all African Americans or Asians look the same. Could we please appreciate the diversity of these women's faces without regard to their skin, eye and hair color? Wouldn't that be much less racist than regarding them differently based on their ethnicity?

I really don't see where this ad was shoving any fair-skinned-blonde-blue-eyed-thin ideal to my face. Also, I don't know where you live but here in central Europe people get themselves roasted in tanning beds, because they don't want to be pale. Actually when you buy sun blocker because you want to stay pale, they laugh at you. And they tell you that you look sick if you look pale. And that you should get a tan because you will always look healthier with a tan. I guess it's just another kind of "you always want what you don't have effect".

When the participants described themselves, these were some of the things that were implied as negatives: fat, rounder face, freckles, fatter, 40— starting to get crows feet, moles, scars… Whereas some of the implied positive descriptors used by others were: thin face, nice thin chin, nice eyes that lit up when she spoke and were very expressive (my actual favorite), short and cute nose, her face was fairly thin (this was said twice), and very nice blue eyes. So… I don't know if anyone else is picking up on this, but it kinda seems to be enforcing our very narrow cultural perception of “beauty”: young, light-skinned, thin.

source

The only person who uses the word "fat" is one and the same woman who has a round kind of face.
It is obvious that she uses the word with a lot of hatred in her voice and dislikes that feature. This woman probably hates her face for being so round, and that's we she chose a word with a strong, negative connotation to it, despite the fact that her face is not "fat" but just round shaped.
The woman who is described as "thin" definitely has a thin face. Where is the problem here? How else could you describe it, if that's the most prominent feature you noticed when you looked at her? The only issue is that we perceive the words "round" and "thin" as extremes and are apparently only able to see them as "extremely good" and "extremely bad" so we overreact when we hear them. Or some of us, that is. So apparently we must not describe people using these words any more? What should we use instead - "circle-ish" and "horizontally insufficient"? And what about "nice eyes that lit up when she spoke and were very expressive" ? Seriously? That comment doesn't even say anything about the eye color.

It doesn't really tell us that the definition of beauty is broader than we have been trained to think it is, and it doesn't really tell us that fitting inside that definition isn't the most important thing.

source

No, it doesn't, but why should it? It's not its purpose. We are not talking about definitions here because they are not defining anything. They are not telling you which of the interviewed women are more beautiful than others. On screen time of different people and the frequency of mentioned adjectives do not necessarily tell you this either. If you perceive it that way, it's a pity, and I am sorry that you don't like the ad because of this, but I highly doubt that this was the intent. But people are not stupid hollow shells that subconsciously take up any crap that is thrown at them, purposefully or not, anyway. If you look around and talk to people you will probably notice how different beauty ideals are. We are not all envying the same kind of people for their appearance. We do not all find the same kind of person attractive. And we do not all find the kind of person attractive we see on the cover of a magazine or a TV ad. Or at least not exclusively. And even if I like an image of a beautiful woman, photoshopped to hell and back, it doesn't mean that I put up that picture next to my mirror and compare my skin to it every morning and chose my partner based on the image. Could we still appreciate that also in real live, you have people with nicer looking skin than others, and may I still envy those people a little bit without being blamed that I'm just influenced by the media?

The ad doesn't aim to show you ugly people to make you feel better about yourself, it shows you beautiful people that have self doubts. Problem?

All of these women are of course not "ugly". They are actually beautiful, in an interesting, closer-look kind of way. They are not our "average" idea of beauty either. But they are beautiful, and honestly, I don't get it why people criticize that they are "not actually ugly". Isn't that... kind of judgmental? Actually, how do you define "ugly"? Why would you want to see "ugly" people in such an ad? To make you feel better about yourself...? Well, maybe you shouldn't use this argument to criticize others for liking the ad then, don't you think? Those who are positively affected by the ad probably didn't even compare themselves to these women in the first place. If I compare myself to them, I'd consider myself less beautiful then some of them. So what? I still can relate to what they say, because the way they talk about themselves is the way I talk about myself. Can't we just appreciate the fact that even the people we consider "more beautiful" than ourselves have doubts about themselves too? It's not supposed to makes us feel worse about ourselves on purpose - and in that ad it definitely didn't come across this way, at least not to me.

Finally, now that we've spent so much time discussing about how to bring across the wrong message, how about this one:

I know we’ve been told it thousands upon thousands of times before, but I hope you heard that, girls: your physical, superficial beauty is the most significant part of who you are, and the most important determining factor in your life. And now I want you to hear this: that is a lie.

source

FALSE.
It is not a lie, and no matter how much we wish for it it will never be. There are certain traits that we perceive as more beautiful than others, above all symmetry of the facial features, and these won't even change with fashion or time, because they are deeply rooted in ancient instincts that used to help us to pick our partners. Nowadays we make other choices based on what we see. From the moment we see a person, most of us already judge them. And not all of us give others a chance to prove them different. How you look will influence who finds you attractive and who will try to talk to you. But that's not only based on your facial features and body but of course also on your general appearance, such as clothes, the things you do, such as listening to music, jogging, reading a book, the places you go to. Seeing you will make people judge you based on what they see. They will assume you like music, are a sporty kind of person, like books or movies or are part of a certain subculture. The way you look will always influence the way people see you.

BUT:
Above all, what matters is self confidence. It is perceived above all. Before beauty, before the actual facial features. Being confident about yourself will make you look more attractive, happier, healthier. It will impact the way people look at you dramatically. I have seen it myself. And it's not just appearance. If you're confident in your wits, or your abilities in one way or the other, if you are enthusiastic about what you do, it will get you much farther in life than sulking over your seemingly loathsome self.

That being said, I think it has come clear that i really like the campaign and its message, and I wanted to point out what I think is important about it. But I also wanted to tell a little story.
Lately, I was told I have a "difficult face", in the context of make up. I was not told directly, though the same person said something else about me while I was next to her which was a similar statement. To be honest, it made me cringe. It made me unhappy. It made me angry. But after a while, I realized I actually didn't care. It was ridiculous. It was a person I don't even care about. Why bother? Why let myself be dragged down by it?

I am far from perfect and I have a lot of flaws that cannot compete to most other people's "natural beauty". I know exactly how I would describe myself if I was part in such an experiment: asymmetrical jaw, crooked nose, protruding eyes, very pointy and sharp chin, asymmetrical lips and high, asymmetrical eye brows, bad skin, shadows under the eyes, deep nasolabial grooves and roundish cheeks. That's how I see myself when i look in the mirror. But I also know that's probably not how most people would describe me. And seeing this ad strengthened my self confidence, because it showed that everyone has flaws only they see about themselves. That in a random encounter with a stranger, he probably won't walk off thinking "Wow, that girl has pretty deep nasolabial grooves!" about me.

I would love to take part in such an experiment, simply to see the two pictures next to each other.

Some person pointed out how the experiment is biased because the artist knows if he is drawing the "good" or "bad" picture of the described person, so he will of course draw them in a more flattering way the second time. But comparing the people to the drawn pictures in the video, they are most often better described by the stranger than by themselves, artist's flattery taken aside.

Well, I just hope that some of the people who criticized that ad might understand a little better now why some people were so deeply affected by it. I am not saying that you are not right about your perception of the ad. I am just saying that you shouldn't be condescending towards people who feel touched by that ad, only because they perceive the message differently from you.

What do you think about the campaign?
What were your initial thoughts, and did they change after you read the tumblr post or my entry?

The Online Shopping Ordeal

2013-04-14T15:17:00.002+02:00

Since I'm down with the cold I don't really have anything exciting to write about, nor do I have any pictures to show, nevertheless I wanted to write an update about what's currently happening in my life.

If you're following me on my twitter you're probably already sick of my ranting about how much I hate online shopping. Well, in fact I don't actually 'hate' it per se, I'm just that kind of person who always has really really bad luck when it comes to online shopping.

Some of you might remember the troubles I had with my first Bodyline order, where the customs office taxed the package wrong because DHL was too incompetent to write the amount of postage I payed somewhere on the package or bill. I ended up paying 63€ tax for a 70€ order (including postage). I guess you can imagine my frustration.

With my second BL order I was a bit more lucky, except for the fact that I got the bill from the Finnish customs and didn't understand a word of it, not even after translating it with the help of a friend. People at the post office didn't know anything about it either and then I also got two separate bills which confused me even more, especially since I didn't know which bank account number to pay to (there were like two or three on these papers). I ended up paying the right amount after I got a third invoice where the whole amount and correct bank account number were stated a few weeks later.

So after Christmas I decided to transfer some of my money to paypal to do some online shopping once in a while...

Part one: The Wig Conspiracy

The first thing I did with that money was participating in an Indiegogo Campaign by an online wig store. The deal was if you pay a certain amount for the crowd funding you get to choose one free wig per month for six months. The price was really good, in the end I would save about 50% and also the shipping costs, so I didn't hesitate for long. I've been considering bleaching my hair for a while now, but in the end I figured it's much cheaper to buy colorful and long wigs than to bleach and dye my own hair.

So, the first email where I could chose my wig came around the end of February, and I answered and got the "Your message has been received" note. That was somewhat before the Easter holidays and I was really excited about getting this wig. Except for - it didn't arrive. I read on the seller's facebook page that they had to order some stuff in and had problems with low stock so I just thought it would take some more time. After a month had passed, I got the second email to chose another wig, and after I answered that the seller replied to me, telling me she didn't receive an email with my first choice. So I re-sent her the information from the first time, waited for another reply or something, but nothing came... it's been roughly three weeks now and I'm not sure if my message got through, but if not I just really hope with my NEXT email at the end of the month I can get to order all three wigs at once, because this is getting tiresome, especially since I expected to have one of those wigs by the end of March latest....

Part Two: BB Cream Confusion

Another interesting thing happened with an ebay order of mine. I wanted to order a good BB cream for a while now, so I asked Arina for advice and she recommended an online shop that seemed very trustworthy - apparently there are a lot of fake creams of that brand being sold. So I ordered a few days later and payed with paypal. The estimated delivery time according to the seller's information would have been about two weeks. After four weeks, nothing had arrived. I started to fear that it might have been caught by the customs office and held back due to the new EU regulations about cosmetics. Then again, they would have had to send me note about it, wouldn't they?
I contacted the seller to ask them if they knew what's going on. They apologized and told me they'd send the item again if I wanted to, so I gave them my address. At that point, it turned out that the seller had sent the item to another address - my paypal address - which, at that time was still my address in Finland! I was pretty sure I had given them a correct delivery address via ebay but anyway, the item and my 12€ were lost. The contact person told me she'll talk to her manager about it and see if she can help me, but I'm not very confident about it. I haven't heard from her in two weeks. Seems like I will have to live without BB cream, since I am pretty sure that even if I order it or they send it again, customs will confiscate it due to the cosmetics regulations anyway... (of course it's also too late to get my money back via paypal :> )

Lastly: The Bodyline Disaster, Part 2

So, I ordered some stuff from BL before Easter, still from the Christmas money I had saved on my paypal account. If you know Bodyline, you know they have two different methods of shipping offered on their page: EMS and air mail. Air mails has a fixed fee and is substantially cheaper, but takes longer. Apparently, it's also not insured, but we'll get to that later. So I ordered and got an email with my tracking number.The package got to the post office on March 26 and was there till March 29, where it was "dispatched from outward office of exchange". And that was the last time it was tracked.

Rose Bouqet High Wasit Skirt. I've been wanting to buy that skirt ever since I saw the print ;___;

Merry Go Round JSK. I ordered the black colorway...

So, my last order made it from Japan to Finland in about 3 days, and was then stuck at the customs office in Helsinki. However, the tracking was updated immediately so I knew at all times where my package was. In this case, it seems like the package has vanished into thin air halfway between Japan and Austria (or probably Germany as most stuff comes in via Hamburg or Frankfurt afaik).

I'm seriously worried about this now. Conveniently, Bodyline disclaims all liability for such cases:

"don't ask us anything about air delivery.

we can't help you.

sometime your package will be stolen,broken,etc.

sadly,we can not help you.we can not refund you.you are bad luck.

our responsibility until the package

<dispatch from tokyo exchange >

you can claim your post office.In our experience,

they will not pay you anything and they will never answer you the reason."

Well thank you, Captain Engrish.

I wrote on the Dunkelsüß forum to ask if anybody had similar experiences. Two or three other girls seemed to have problems with their packages too, where tracking numbers stopped working or similar. One girl suggested to open a paypal claim if the package doesn't arrive, upon which another girl almost freaked out, saying that it would be shitty and unfair towards bodyline because it's not their fault... anyway, a paypal claim could help to "force" them to track down the package which they could definitely inquire at their local post office, especially if the package is insured. And then another girl pointed out something very important: as a mater of fact, paypal's terms and conditions state that you ALWAYS have to use insured mail if you offer payment via paypal. This is really interesting, because I remember a discussion on a Kleiderkreisel forum where a person accidentally sent a packaged uninsured and ran into problems because the buyer claimed it was lost.

Soooo I don't really know what to think or do currently. I am of course hoping that the package will turn up soon, or that it will actually be delivered in the next weeks, and the tracking number simply wasn't updated. This would be the best case... If the package doesn't arrive, I'll probably contact BL within two weeks and ask them to inquire about the package, and if they refuse to do so, open a paypal claim.... I'd really rather have my stuff, but if there's no other chance I'd be super mad if I couldn't get my money back.

The questions is - is it insured, in which case they'd have to refund the money or send it again, or is it not insured, in which case they'd be violating the terms and conditions?

Oh, and last but not least I am expecting another package which I don't wanna tell you any details about yet, but the tracking number they sent me doesn't seem to work either. I really don't care as long as it arrives safely, but still, all that waiting and insecurity is maddening.

This is so, so frustrating that I can barely believe how other people keep ordering stuff online all the time and never actually run into problems o_O Also, I don't understand how the post system can be so messed up. I mean, of course it's a lot of logistics involved, all that tracking and transport. But really, how can something be just "lost" and never turn up again? They should know on what plane or ship it was, and unless the plane crashes or someone throws a container over board, stuff shouldn't simply vanish, right?
Well, I guess it's far more complicated than that, but still it's annoying that you can't trust your mail to arrive safely and basically have to use insured mailing all the time if you really want to make sure something arrives. I wouldn't mind if Austrian customs wouldn't also put taxes on the shipping costs, which means that every extra Euro I pay for shipping can mean I might cross the limit where I only have to pay taxes and have to pay customs fee as well.
STUPID STUPID STUPID!

At the same time, I am still waiting for feedback on my thesis, which, as we found out just a few days ago, is not due by the middle of May but already in two weeks! Thank the heavens I already sent it in before Easter and haven't heard back since then, it would have been such a convenience if I actually had a decent amount of time to correct that stuff before I have to print and bind it -__-

Okay, as you can see, I'm really mad about these things, and I just really hope my stuff will arrive some time soon. I'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope that everything turns out fine.

From: Me - To: Myself

2013-04-07T13:25:00.000+02:00

Hello everyone!
Are you enjoying your week end?

I'm having a lazy Sunday here, but at least I finally did something I wanted to do since I moved here a few weeks ago - I occupied a shelf in the bathroom previously used for storing towels and put my make up there! So now I finally have a place where I can store all my stuff and don't have to rummage through dozens of little bags and boxes in my wardrobe :)

I still have my nail polishes stored in my room, but I will probably store them there too. I've come down to quite a nice collection of make up - not too big or too small, there is everything I need and nothing I don't use. The only problem are the foundations I have, because none currently fits my skin type and teint :( Except for the really expensive one from Gothmetic of course, which I only use on rare occasions XD I'll probably give the other stuff away soon because I can't use it anyway. I'm especially sad that the Manhattan Clear Face make-up seems to have changed because the color I previously is somehow so much darker now...

SO much stuff XD

I extended my little collection at my latest visit to the drug store with the following:

That brush is really amazing, it's very soft and has the perfect shape - I bought it to replace another brush I had lost.

I've been stalking our local DM for this essence LE for the whole last week, and finally got the lip glosses I wanted so badly. I saw them swatched on another blog and I love the purple and green! And they are rather thick which I like in lip glosses, because you don't swallow them so easily when they're on your lips :)

I wanted a pale lilac nail polish for a while now, and I think that one is really pretty! It's also from an LE and it's just the color I was looking for, so I had to buy it XD

As for the eye shadow, I got it for a discount because it was sorted out apparently. I'm really into matte eyeshadows at the moment, and that blue is very soft and pretty ♥

I really badly wanna go out and wear nice make up, but chances for next week for this to happen are rather low, as I have a lab course and will probably be at the university every day till 7pm or later. Buuuuut I already have a lot of ideas what i wanna do next time I have an occasion to wear make up :)

There is going to be a J-fashion meet up in Vienna at the end of the month and I was thinking about attending. On one hand, I'd love to meet new people and wear Lolita in public - on the other hand I'm extremely shy about it, there's probably gonna be a ton of people, I'm not too sure about my Lolita styling yet and I'd be a bit scared to go there by public transport alone. Well, still some more time before I have to decide...

How are you spending your week end? :)

Ceci n'est pas le Printemps

2013-04-03T22:38:00.004+02:00

Easter holidays have passed and I am back to university - and while we're already in the middle of the "summer semester" spring has barely begun to show its traces in my parents' garden. I don't really mind though. I don't mind the cold and not even the snow that's still falling, even in Vienna.

I still took the freedom to wear something "sping" themed last week end when my family gathered at my parents' place for the holidays. I decided to wear my rose-print Lolita dress for the first time!

While my mum finds that, I quote, "that headdress is too much", I kinda like it. I took that pearl necklace with me and only spontaneously decided to wear it on my head and not around my neck. On the other hand, the outfit lacks accessories. I really don't have anything blue, even though I love blue as a color I normally don't like to wear it. I also only have black shoes but I think it goes well with my black hair. My hair is a different story entirely - I'm really super frustrated about it at the moment. While I don't have any split ends the tips look really bad because the cut I got last July (!) has grown out completely and I think they're even longer (and definitely thicker) on one side than on the other :(

My bangs also have this horrible intermediate length, and I'm currently on the look out for a pair of hairdresser's scissors because after last time's disaster at the hair dresser I'm not quick to let anyone with scissors near my bangs any more.

Aaaaaanyway - overall I think the outfit turned out quite okay, I'm especially happy that the different "shades" of white and off white didn't collide near as much as I feared they would. Still, I suppose a better hairdo is in order, definitely :'D

For the Easter holidays, I made Mille-feuille, though it didn't turn out quite perfectly. As you can see, the lowest layer of dough is half-submerged in the vanilla cream, because I cast the cream in a mould (it's with gelatine) and it started to float. Anyway, for next time I know I have to cast the cream separately and then stick the dough to it afterwards. (Would you care to have the recipe?)

Being with my family was really nice, I also got to visit my grandma and we talked a little bit about my sewing plans. I'm not sure if she really believes in my enthusiasm about sewing, but the last time we were sweing something together it was a lot of fun, and this time I definitely won't let her take so much work away from me, haha!

She was also so kind to let me have my package with my BL order be sent to her place, as I strongly assume I will have to pay import taxes so I need someone who's there to take the package when it's delivered. I'm really looking forward to getting that stuff, and I sure hope I will have some opportunity to wear it soon.

Cat content!

Do you usually get any presents for Easter? In my family, usually only the kids get stuff. I remember how I got Pokémon Stadium one year, I was so excited when I found it in my "nest"! This year I didn't get any "presents" for Easter, but while I was skiing with my parents they payed for my skiing pass, which I really appreciated ♥

My brother and his fiancé where there too and as you may know they are currently living in my mum and my old flat, and currently building a house - as soon as it's finished I will move into the flat, so they invited me and my boyfriend to come and check out the place, to see what has to be renovated, and get some first ideas how we would like to furnish it. My boyfriend had never been to that flat before, so for him it was pretty exciting. While I have grown up there, I have absolutely lost my feeling for the dimension of the rooms. I moved out of that place when I was 11 and was there maybe three times since then, last time was several years ago, and I was really surprised back then because I had remembered everything so much bigger! Do you know that feeling, when you visit a place you have known as a child, and feel it's much smaller now?
On the other hand, when I visited this time, everything appeared bigger again, for reasons I don't really know, haha :'D Maybe it's because I've been living in shared flats or rooms in the student hostel so much that a whole flat just for me and my boyfriend now seems reeeeeally big! 75m² for just the two of us - I'm really looking forward to moving there!

On an unrelated note, I don't feel so well these days. I don't think it's too apparent on the pictures, but I've gained weight again lately, and I'm suspecting that the dose of my medication might be a bit to low again. I know it's also my own fault as I should also be moving more and do more sports, but then again, when I don't have time for that for a week or two, but still eat the same, I shouldn't gain 3kg just like that in such a short time :( Or is that a normal thing to happen? I mean, I'm not binge eating (anymore, anyway) or something like that. Well, it's just frustrating, and as I'm really self conscious about my weight it 's a real mood killer! So I'm really trying to cut down carbs in any form right now, hoping it will help, and in June I will have another examination where they'll check my thyroid and the hormone levels. Until then I just have to try even harder!

So, in order to let this entry end in a more positive way - at least university is more fun again at the moment, and I feel a bit more confident about my studies and future career. It won't be easy, but I think I will manage.

Now what's left to do is to hope that I can get the summer job I am hoping for, and then maybe there is a minuscule chance I can do something really amazing from September on - but I won't go into the details before I know if it's really possible. But first, I'll be happy if I get the job!

What are your plans for the summer?
And has spring already arrived where you live?

Snow here, snow there....

2013-03-26T16:37:00.000+01:00

I'm back from my skiing holiday and now back in Vienna, but we got quite a lot of snow here too so it feels like I'm still in Styria, haha :D

We only spent three days skiing, I actually only went snowboarding on the first day and then decided to stick to my skis since my parents are skiing too and I didn't want to be the only one sitting on the ground all the time. I love both, so I like the variation anyway and I'm super happy that I have both types of equipment, but what i prefer about skiing is the fact that it feels more challenging for me. Snowboarding, for some reason, does not exhaust me near as much as skiing, when I just do it normally. I should probably start learning some tricks or something, then this would change I guess - but I'm far too much of a scaredy cat :'D

Actually decent weather on day 2! What luck!

The weather was really unusual for March!
We had perfect snow, and soo much of it! Powder snow everywhere, and temperatures below zero. On the second day, at long last we saw some sun and it was the perfect skiing day, but the other days it was snowy and windy. I usually only wear a sweater in March/April, but this year it really was too cold!

Sun Protection Factor: Vampire + (was also supposed to protect me from cold wind, haha)

I actually missed my boyfriend a lot :( Usually we go snowboarding together whenever we can and it's so much more fun with him! Of course being with my parents is nice too. And they were so kind as to pay for my tickets! But overall it's just a bit weird hanging out with them so much at my age, and I'm awkward around them, not knowing what to talk about sometimes...

At least my hairbuns are fabulous and gigantic.

Buuut my mum also helped me with my application for my summer job. We worked on my letter of motivation and it turned out really good!
Today I checked back with the online application system and it seems that one of the letters of recommendation I asked for got sent too, so there's just one more missing and the application will be complete (though it would actually be enough if I only have one letter as well). I really hope I will get this job, I have one other alternative where I could apply to, but I would prefer to get this other job... it would be just perfect!

So please keep your fingers crossed for me !

Meanwhile, I've also done some online "shopping" lately.
I helped with a crowd funding project for a wig seller, so I know got a perk where I can chose one wig each month for 6 months. I already chose 2 so far, but the first didn't arrive yet due to some delay with the supplier. So now I'm waiting for two of them, I sure hope they arrive soon so I can show them to you!

Another big package I await comes from Japan and is from Bodyline. I have been thinking a lot about buying certain items that I was really really wishing for. The blouse I ordered in last autumn turned out to have rather short sleeves but otherwise fits perfectly. I thought about ordering it in a larger size, but ended up deciding that I will try to alter the sleeves to make them longer! If it doesn't work, they're still detachable and I can always wear it as short sleeved blouse :)
So I had saved up some money after Christmas and put it on my paypal for this order, and when I decided not to order a new blouse, I was thinking about spending the money on something else, and now I can only hope the package will arrive safely and will make it through the customs, lol

I also ordered some BB cream because lately, my skin has been reeeeally bad. The cold wind on the first skiing day also did its part in ruining my skin, I got a bad rash and had to go to the pharmacy. I suspect I might have some skin condition that should be diagnosed and treated or at least I would like to know how to avoid such situations that "trigger" these rashes (because sometimes I don't know what caused it). But when I mustered all my courage to call my dermatologist (who I'm on bad terms with since my last visit where she was very unfriendly...) I found out they're on vacation till after Easter -__-

However, the cream I ordered a month ago didn't arrive as of yet, so I am wondering now if it got stuck at the customs due to this new EU regulation about animal testing? Not sure about it though.... I suppose they would have to send me a message or something, they can't just keep/throw away my product.... or do they? .__.

Then I've been also having problems with my wisdom tooth again, but my dentist is on holiday too D:
So when university starts again after the Easter break and we actually have courses almost every day and lab classes, it will be super stressful to find a date for an appointment =/
Oh well, I just hope it will be better soon, because yesterday the pain was really bad - just like my mood - and I also don't feel like doing any sports when I'm like that. And I really, really should do more sports again!

"When I'm sad.... I STAY IN BED." (with my sharkies)

Tomorrow I'm gonna meet an old friend who I haven't seen since.... two years or something? And we haven't actually talked a lot since our graduation 5 years ago. I'm afraid that it will be awkward D: But we'll see... maybe it turns out nicely.
I'm also currently trying to organize a meeting of all graduates of 2008 from my school. In total, we were like 70 people, so far it seems like maybe half of them will be attending which is already a huge success I think :D

Aaaaanyway, I just wanted to give you a short update on everything :3 What have you been up to lately?

I'd rather never grow up...

2013-03-20T15:44:00.000+01:00

...if it meant I'd have to stop playing games!

Lately I've been having some more free time than usual, since I didn't have to go to the university very often this month, and the work for my thesis is also finished now, so I spent a lot of time gaming ♥ So this is going to bee an entry dedicated to one of my biggest hobbies and my favorite games of all time! (see below...)

I sometimes feel guilt about spending so much time on games, but then again, I guess everybody has something like that they do to relax, be it watching TV or reading a book. It's not like I'm entirely passive and not using my brain when I play - for example I love point and click adventures and I recently started to play the "Broken Sword" series, which I know since I was a kid and tried it on my cousin's PS1 back in the last century :D I like games with a good story, like for example Skyrim, and I am that kind of person that reads every quest text in role playing games. I especially love the setting of Skyrim and I also spent a lot of time catching up on the lore of Tamriel, since I didn't play the earlier parts of the Elder Scrolls' series, and I really wanna know my stuff when The Elder Scrolls Online comes out, hehe :3 (I signed up for the beta, who else? Hope I will get in!)

I also found my Pokémon Sapphire cartridge lately, so I started playing again. I have a weird habit of restarting the older games every time I get bored with the new ones, so I found the story half finished on this one and was immediately hooked up on playing again. I was also thinking about playing through Gen V again, because I have problems memorizing all names and types of Gen IV and V. So I started thinking about what kind of team I would like to have on Black, while playing Sapphire. However, I soon noticed that my old Nintendo DS lite apparently started to bug around a bit, and it was not just the cartridge but the whole system that sometimes froze during the starting screen. Furthermore, I was constantly fearing that the battery would run low before I found the recharger that I apparently lost during my move from Finland to Austria... So after I gave it a little thought...

... I ended up buying myself a Nintendo 3DS! (and a recharger cable for my old DS lite)

So now I have for the first time in my life two compatible Nintendo handheld systems, which means I can swap Pokémon with myseeeeeelf! *insert forever alone meme here*

So first of all I spent a lot of time trading/transfering all my Pokémon from older generations over to my Black 2 cartridge. I guess I might really get hooked up on the "collecting" aspect of Pokémon again now, even though I was always kinda frustrated about all those Pokémon you can't collect in the regular game and need special events/tickets etc. to get them. I didn't have a suitable WiFi internet connection, so I missed on a lot of chances to get such Pokémon. But even with that there are already TONS of legendaries I've collected so far, though there's still like 1/3 missing!

~~Binders full of women~~ Boxes full of Pokémon!

Short review:

I really like the new Nintendo handheld and the 3D is kinda cool, though I'm usually no big fan of it I like the fact that its intensity can be regulated and even entirely switched off. The screen has a better resolution of course, which is very apparent when playing Nintendo DS games on it, because the image on the upper screen appears slightly blurred. Also I found that the position of the d-pad is slightly uncomfortable because it's below the 3D pad. Of course it's also possible to play with that one instead, but in games that do not feature 3D movement I prefer the regular d-pad.

Overall, I like the new system a lot and I'm super excited for the new Pokémon games to released next October! My boyfriend and Mimi were thinking about buying the game too, and especially my boyfriend, who hasn't played since Gen I seems to be getting more and more enthusiastic about it :3 I'd really love to have friends close by to play and trade with!

Here's my little "collection" ^^
Of course there's a bunch of games missing, such as a Pokémon Ranger game I have still somewhere at my parent's place, and the older cartridges for Game Boy and Game Boy color of which I have all but Gold.

When I started to play Pokémon I was maybe 9 years old or something. I still remember that I got Blue for Christmas and my cousin, who's 7 years older than me got Red :) But we didn't have a link cable so we couldn't really play together or trade. But he helped me a lot back then, when the internet wasn't really available as a source of information to me and I sometimes ran into problems because - let's face it, I was only 9 and kinda stupid, and the game wasn't really bug free either ^^

After that, my cousin lost interest in the game and sooner or later left me his cartridge. I got the Silver edition after release and found new friends to play and swap with - my two neighbors, who were just as enthusiastic about the Pokémon games as I was! So from then on we always decided on which new edition to buy together - they would buy one, and I would buy the other, so we could trade the missing Pokémon with each other. We had so much fun back then - it really was an important part of our childhood. I remember how we once had a sleep over at my place on a Monday night, just so we could see that special event on Mt. Moon where Clefairy dance and you can get a Moonstone :D

Sooner or later, my friends' interest in Pokémon dwindled and I was left feeling alone. I spent a lot of time online on forums, even trying out various kinds of netbattle. I never had the persistence to spend so much time on breeding and training to get the perfect Pokémon for tournaments or the duel tower, so online battling seemed to be the perfect solution. But soon I lost interest in that too, because after all, what I found most interesting and fun about the games was usually the story, exploring all places, discovering secrets and collecting rare Pokémon.

When I met my boyfriend 7 years ago, I was worried at first that he would think I am childish for liking such a thing. After all, he's more than 4 years older than me and I was so insecure at that time. But it turned out he didn't mind at all and while he wasn't so interested in the topic he had played the old Gen I games himself :) And now I am super happy that he is considering playing the new games!

So, while some people might think it is childish to play such games, I simply love them!
I don't care so much about the Anime, as I completely lost interest from Season 3 or so on, but I do love the "Poket Monsters Special"/"Pokémon Adventures" Manga. It's really good, has more action in it than the anime and is overall more serious (e.g. characters and Pokémon are seriously hurt and might even die, which would never happen in the anime). The characters are based on the characters in the games, and are called by their respective "colors", such as Red, Blue and Green. I am currently reconsidering ym Cosplay plans because I found another character I like who I could dress up as easily without needing a wig: Platinum Berlitz or Lucia as she is known in the anime and games (though her character in the manga is so much better!) So now I'm on the lookout for suitable fabric and shoes for such a cosplay, as I would really like to do something that people recognize easily and that hasn't been seen quite so often before :3

So well, this is my personal Pokémon story. How about you? Do you like the games or have you played them, are you still playing? :3

Addicted to Glitter!

2013-03-18T09:30:00.000+01:00

Lately I have been kinda addicted to everything sparkling and glittering! (ノ・∀・)ノ
(So yeah, in case you're wondering, this is gonna be about make up and stuff ^^)

I bought a bunch of different glitter "pigments" at Claire's lately, because they were quite cheap and I decided I wanted to give them a try as glitter eyeshadow pigments. I'm really bad when it comes to using pigments, so I was kinda skeptical if I would manage this time, but as it turns out, these cheapo glitter powder works out really nicely with Essence's pigment base!

In this particular case, I wanted to try a "glitter eyeliner look". So I simply layered the glitter on top of my gel eyeliner. The result looks fantastic imo!

I'm not on very good terms with my DSLR at the moment, I find it extremely difficult to take proper pictures - close ups especially. So for the time being, I hope you can live with these slightly blurry pictures -_-

Just for completion a crappy cell phone pic with eyes open.

I am completely in love with these! Here is what the product looks like:

I bought these because spring and summer are coming and I felt like "FLASHY NEON ALL THE WAAAAY!" but there were also packages with various shades of purple, petrol etc. for less flashy looks.

They aren't even that sheer when used alone, however it really depends on the angle if you see them at all. Here you can see the turquoise and pink ones appearing to be pretty well covering, however from a slightly different angle, like with the yellow pigment, less particles reflect the light and some are not really seen.

For the look above I used the "white" glitter because it actually sparkles in pink and blue so I thought it fits the eye shadow quite well :)

And just because this blog post doesn't have near enough GLITTER yet, here's some nail polish I wore lately:

Please excuse the abominable tip wear. Taken a few days after I put it on.

I also wore galaxy nails again lately - this time they turned out so much better than the last time I tried to do them :) I really like that look and I promised my mum to that nail design for her too, so I can practice some more, hehe.

I really want to do more looks with glitter in the near future! What do you think about it, do you like glitter?

On an unrelated note: God dammit I need a different lens for my camera or a remote release because taking pictures of my eyes is impossible, my arms are too short D:

Lucky 7 ♥

2013-03-16T22:01:00.002+01:00

Last Sunday my boyfriend and I celebrated our 7th anniversary!

It's actually a bit hard for me to believe that it's such a long time already. Time seems to be passing by so fast! I feel kinda old when I think that I was 14 when I met him for the first time, and 15 when we started "dating" :'D Almost 1/3 of my life we've been together, and even though we spent the last 6 months more than 1.000km apart, there was no sign of the "Seven Year Itch". I think there could have been no harder test for us than this long time separation, so I think chances are pretty good that we will endure other hardships in the future :)

We didn't give each other such big presents, I actually felt a bit bad at first because all I had for him was this little ACEO card depicting myself as a crazy shark lady :'D But he was so happy when I gave it to him, he really liked it... so I was happy too :D

We went to the "Haus des Meeres", an aqua zoo in Vienna that day. We both love to go there and have been thinking about buying an annual pass! It's not even that expensive and it allows you to participate in "back stage" tours which sounds really interesting. My boyfriend found out when the shark feeding would take place, so we went there in time to stand in the front row in front of the big aquarium, where we waited for the animals to be fed :3

There is a giant sea turtle living at Haus des Meeres, who has been given to them to take care after she grew too big for her former owners :D She lives in that big aquarium too. During the feeding, they have to distract her so she doesn't steal the others' food. Unfortunately I don't have any good pics from the feeding because the aquarium has these bent walls that makes it difficult to take photos :( On the one above you can actually see a moray - it's that neon green long thing there, and it's over 2m long! And soo cute! You don't really get to see it unless it's feeding time :)

They have black- and whitetip sharks, which do not look very different except for their name-giving fin tips. However, the blacktip sharks have to swim all the time in order to breathe, because they can't breath actively and need to stay in motion to get enough water through their gills. Therefore it wasn't easy to take a photo of them, but the whitetip shark was relaxing on the bottom of the aquarium after the feeding so I was able to take photos ♥

SO ADORABLE! X3

We went on to see the other aquariums after the feeding. Every time I'm there I am absolutely amazed by the plethora of beautiful animals that inhabit the sea!

This sting ray (I think it's a bluespotted stingray, I don't remember though...) was just swimming around in his aquarium when suddenly he swam to that spot and started to move strangely... as if he was digging? Just seconds later another sting ray emerged from the sands XD Were they playing hide and seek? :D
Also, I noticed for the first time that, when on the ground, they use the little fins near their stinger like little feet to "walk" around on the sand! It's so incredibly cute! XD

THIS MUST HAVE BEEN THE MOST ADORABLE THING I HAD EVER SEEN!
This little baby bamboo shark was like "Oh hai!" when I wanted to take a picture of him and his stingray friend! He looks so cute! (*u*) That was the moment I decided that one day, I need an aquarium with bamboo sharks as pets X3

I have no clue what this is, but I suppose it's this fellow's little cousin or something :'D

Fluorescent polyps ♥

This little fella is called a "well builder". It literally builds "wells" in the ground by digging under a rock and transporting gravel, sand and shells to the surface in its mouth, spitting it out when he resurfaces. The sight is pretty comical, since he looks very determined, haha!

Look at them turtles chilling in the "sun" XD
They also have two separate areas that are more like tropical greenhouses with lots of birds and other animals. They used to have fruit bats, but we didn't see them this time, so I suppose they had to give them away or something...

Aren't its feathers gorgeous? At that point I kinda regretted not taking my DSLR with me to take a better photo. I wish I could make my hair look like that - black but shimmering in blue, purple and green!

My boyfriend doesn't really like snakes and spiders, so we didn't spend much time near them, but I found this heart shaped pattern on the back of this reticulated python ♥ I love how their scales shimmer in all colors of the rainbow! This is why I actually like the "normal" ones better than the albino pythons, I just think they are prettier. But I like them all anyway :3

After our visit to the Haus des Meeres we went to eat at Vapiano where I had paste for the first time - I usually always eat pizza there, but the pasta's really good too :3 I just love Italian food and I think they do a pretty good job there. And I like it how they prepare everything out in the open so you can watch them. It's very inspirational if you want to try to cook the same stuff at home, haha :D

Later that evening we went to the cinema to see "Oz the Great and Powerful". I like the Wizard of Oz story and I saw the old movie with Judy Garland waaaaay back when I was a little kid, and I think they did a pretty good job to tell a plausible prequel story for that :) And I liked it that they re-used some actors/voice actors from the "real world" in the world of Oz, just like in the old movie, hehe :D

So yeah, in the end it was a wonderful day and I am very glad that I am back in Austria and able to spend almost every day with the person I love most ♥ Aaaand I am already looking forward to moving to out very own flat this summer :)

Picture My Day #13 (German&English)

2013-03-16T00:43:00.003+01:00

Picture My Day - this time organized by Chriz - is a recurring online event where participants take photos of what they do for a whole day and share them with others.

My day wasn't very exciting, and to be honest quite often I just forgot to take a photo of something, so I ended up with much less photos than I could have :'D Also, I only used my cell phone cam so the quality is not the best, sorry for that! But anyway, if you're interested to catch a glimpse at my day, look ahead :)

...:★:...

Ich denke mittlerweile kennen die meisten Blogger den "Picture My Day" Day, bei dem es darum geht einen ganzen Tag lang Fotos zu machen und diesen Einblick in den Alltag mit anderen zu teilen. Diesmal wurde das ganze veranstaltet von Chriz, und auch wenn mein Tag nicht sonderlich aufregend war, kamen doch ein paar Bilder zusammen. Leider nur mit meiner Handykamera, aber immerhin. Und von hier an lasse ich einfach mal Bilder sprechen :)

Good Morning! /// Guten Morgen!

First Breakfast /// Erstes Frühstück

First, folding some clothes... /// Erstmal Klamotten zusammenlegen.

Second Breakfast /// Zweites Frühstück

Off with the polish! /// Ab mit dem Lack!

Workout time... /// Zeit für Bewegung...

...with some distraction and entertainment /// ...mit Ablenkung und Unterhaltung

Now to put on some fresh sheets! No pic of the fresh ones, damn it XD /// Mal eben Bettwäsche neu überziehen. Leider vergessen ein "Nachher"-Bild zu machen

Putting away the stuff I took with me from my parents' place /// Das Zeug wegräumen das ich von meinen Eltern mitgebracht hab

Cleaning the room and then having a break /// Putzen und dann erstmal Pause.

Washing my hair :) /// Haarewaschen

I like how long it is already ♥ /// Ich freue mich dass sie schon so lange sind!

Lunch: veggie nuggets /// Mittagessen: Gemüsenuggets

Elevator pic /// Liftfahren, yey!

On the road. Or actually, in the garage /// Unterwegs - beziehungsweise noch in der Garage

At the physician /// Kurz beim Hausarzt

I am about as tired as I look /// Ja, ich bin in etwa so kaputt wie ich da aussehe

Apparently, I have "cat scratch disease" XD /// Ich leide offenbar an der Katzenkratzkrankheit

Two little bargain buys. The orange lipstick doesn't suit me very much, though... /// Zwei kleine Schnäppchenkäufe, aber der orangene Lippenstift war wohl eher ein Fehlkauf.

Clearing out that old shelf and turning it into a place for shoes! /// Altes Miniregal ausgeräumt und zum Schuhregal gemacht.

Finally, my hair has dried and I can brush it /// Endlich sind die Haare trocken und können ausgebürstet werden

Relaxing in bed with Pokémon Sapphire! /// Im Bett gammeln und zocken, hehe

...when I woke up again, my boyfriend was already preparing dinner XD /// ... und als ich wieder aufgewacht bin, war das Abendessen schon fast fertig!

Curry & bell pepper Risotto /// Paprika-Curry-Risotto

Time to put some warpaint on! /// Zeit für Kriegsbemalung!

I had a very unphotogenic day today XD /// Heute mal wieder ein unfassbar unfotogener Tag!

Celebrating a friend's birthday at "Brot & Spiele" /// Geburtstag einer Freundin im "Brot & Spiele"

Shortly before midnight: back home! /// Kurz vor Mitternacht auf dem Heimweg :)

That's it! What did you do that day? :)

Das war's! Und wie war euer Tag so?

Madame Butterfly

2013-03-09T21:11:00.002+01:00

Hello everyone!

I am finally able to show you some pictures from the little "photo shoots" I had a few days ago!

Since my friend Mimi is studying to become a make up artist, she needed a few models for her portfolio, and she asked me if I wanted to model for her too! Of course I was very excited and happy about it! She needed an idea for the topic "theater make up" and was already thinking about doing something Geisha-like, and I immediately thought of Madame Butterfly, thinking we could somehow incorporate my butterfly tattoo in the pictures.

The make up itself took maybe 1 1/1 hours to put on, then we spent another eternity with my hair which, as usual, refused to be styled in any way XD But in the end, we got some quite decent photos.

I edited them quite a bit, to enhance the overall impression, as on the originals it was mainly important to see the execution of the make up, since the portfolio will be graded. But for my personal enjoyment I edited the hell out of them 8D Here we go!

This is not the "good" side of my face XD But it turned out quite nicely ^^

I like it how for some reason the white wall in the background cot a color gradient XD Whatever.

Aaaand number three :3 The color's a bit off >___<

I'm really really proud of Mimi's work, I think the make up looks great - and I really want to wear a look with red eyeliner sometime soon! I was also asked by her to model for her exam at the end of the month. I'm really honored that she considered me for that job and I'm looking forward to it! :3

I also modeled for Mimi for her body painting task, but I won't show the pictures here, since I do not feel too comfortable about showing myself naked only covered in paint :'D But it was really, really cool - a setting like in a Japanese painting, with a temple on a lake side, mirrored in the water, where koi were swimming, and lots of cherry blossoms covering one of my arms :) But it was really tiring, though I had the least actual work to do - I was just lying around while Mimi and her friend where "painting" me - it took maybe 4 or 5 hours till it was done and at that point my back already hurt terribly from lying without moving for such a long time! But other than that it was actually quite relaxing.

So, what do you think about the pictures?
I remember that I was told a while ago here on my blog (anonymously of course...) that my editing is shitty, but I think I did a quite nice job this time...?

Sweet times ♥ poppy seed raspberry cheese cake and sweet rolls

2013-03-08T15:39:00.002+01:00

Hey guys!

Now that I'm living in a flat with a (more or less) well equipped, big kitchen, I was able to take up one of my biggest hobbies again - baking!

I really love baking, I love to try out new recipes, come up with entirely new ones, improvise... for me, baking is a relaxing hobby, even though it can sometimes be really stressful, especially when you want to make something as a present and then something goes wrong. But if it turns out nicely, I always feel very very proud and happy when people like the stuff I made! And of course, I want to share my recipes and baking "stories" here on my blog too.

Last week end was my step dad's birthday and I made a poppy seed raspberry cheese cake :3

My step dad loves poppy seed, and he and the rest of my family all really liked the cake, I was really relieved because I had never tried to make such a cake before, but it turned out nicely :D

I actually know two ways to make cheese cake, we have a family recipe where you bake it as a whole, and another variant, like in this example, where it is mixed with gelatin and left to cool and solidify. I prefer the "cold" variant, I feel like its much tastier and kinda "softer" but I still wanna try our family recipe too some time soon, maybe with blueberries or something.

You can find the recipe here ! If you don't speak German I can translate it for you if you'd like, just leave a message :) I just don't want to post it here because it's not mine.

I actually planned to spend less money and save for my flat's renovation which is due this summer... but I ended up buying this little baby here, because I needed it for the cake:

Well, it's an investment for the future flat too, kind of :'D And it works really really well. I especially like the blender attachment, it was very useful in making the raspberry cream and we also already made some banana milk shakes with its help. So I'm really happy that I bought it!

I also made Apfelstrudel / apple strudel lately, so I had a lot of grounded nuts left. Therefore I decided to make sweet rolls rather spontaneously yesterday.

I completely improvised the recipe because I didn't find a perfectly suitable one, and I didn't have so much ingredients left. So I ended up making these as follows:

For the dough, I mixed 400g flour, 90g butter, 180ml milk, 2 egg yolks and a package of yeast. The well-kneaded dough took about 1 1/2 hours to rise nicely (I usually put the bowl with the dough in a warm water bath and cover it with a clean kitchen towel. Works quite well!). For the filling I mixed the grounded nuts I had left, approximately 200g hazelnuts and 150g walnuts, with some sugar, a looooot of cinnamon and some milk to make a kind of paste. It was difficult to roll out the dough because we have no rolling pin, so I had to use a bottle filled with water :'D

Buuuut in the end I was able to make nice little sweet rolls! They're done quite fast, they only need ~ 15min in the oven at 180°C. I made a mixture of sugar and water for an icing, because I had thrown away the egg white from before.... next time I will probably make an egg white icing, so they don't go to waste. But this way it was quite delicious too :)

How about you?
Do you like baking? :D What's your favorite recipe? Would you care to share it maybe here? ^^

Movie Time: Warm Bodies Review & Interpretation

2013-03-04T21:08:00.000+01:00

Since I'm now living in a flat that's directly next to a shopping center and cinema, i actually have a realistic chance of really seeing all the movies I see in previews and that interest me a lot - usually it was lack of time to go to the cinema but now I live really close to one and it's rather cheap to go to there on certain days :)

One of the movies I really wanted to see was "Warm Bodies".

My boyfriend showed me a funny review of the movie on youtube a few weeks ago and I was immediately hooked up on the idea of the story and it seemed to be pretty funny.

So last Thursday I had my presentation at the university about my internship, and it went really well actually, though I was scared that somebody would start asking mean questions or something :'D To celebrate this a little, we went to see the movie. Ohh and how I had missed the pop corn ♥

So, the movie itself was pretty good and I liked it a lot.

If you have never heard of it before, here's a short summary (minor spoilers):

The world was hit by zombie Apocalypse, and the few remaining humans live gathered in an area protected by a giant wall. But the story does not focus on the survivors at first, instead we follow a young and very handsome dead man called R (the rest of his name he doesn't remember) who is rather frustrated about his current state, and explains in witty off-screen comments the world he lives in.

One day, he and his zombie "friends" go hunting for humans, on which they feed, where he meets the beautiful Julie, who is with a few fellow survivors on a mission outside the wall to gather resources. Zombies and survivors battle, R ends up eating Julie's boyfriends brain (but he was a douchebag anyway) and falls in love with her - as far as he can tell. Anyway, these newly incited feelings inside him make him practically abduct and protect her from the other zombies instead of eating her too, and during the time he spends with her he slowly starts to return more and more to a somewhat human state - which would be a really boring love story if it weren't also for the inherent repulsion Julie feels at first (before Stockholm syndrome kicks in, because it will take another third of the movie until the superficial bitch realizes that that guy looks freaking hot!!), R's inability to express himself adequately apart from zombie-like grunting and moaning (though this gets better over time too), the fact that the other zombies are not so fond of her as a person, and rather as food, and Julie's father who is the zombie-hunting and -hating leader of the last human settlement. Oh, and of course the "Bonies", super-zombies that have lost every last trace of their human-ness and fast and cruel hunters craving for human flesh...

So, is this a romantic movie?

Yes it is, a lot actually, but the romance never gets "cheesy" or feels awkward or out of place, the movie also manages to efficiently avoid all vicarious embarrassment, which is in combination pretty rare for that genre.

Is this a horror movie?
Rather not. While the thought of zombie apocalypses generally freak me out as much as any other end-of-the-world-nothing-left-scenario (like nuclear disasters or wars or non-zombie pandemics or what have you) this particular movie was very un-scary, mostly because it was actually a zombie narrating the story. While the Bonies looked impressively revolting, there was no scary moment per se. There was some tension in some situations and scenes, but no real horror or splatter. So it's suitable for those who don't really like horror movies and are easily scared, imo.

Is it an action movie?
No. I really didn't mind because I don't necessary need exploding stuff or prolonged exchanges of fire to feel entertained. The scenes where protagonists were fighting or running from zombies/Bonies/soldiers were not too long and the cuts between different scenes or happenings at different places were very well timed, so I felt at no point bored. A fan of action movies would probably be disappointed though.

Is it funny?
Oh yes it definitely is. A few times I laughed so loud that i was actually afraid I might have startled the other people in the cinema :'D R's comments are really witty, there is a lot of situational comedy and some ironic side blows on society.

In general, I really liked the movie, not only but also largely due to the fact that I really liked Nicholas Hoult, the actor who played R. I think he really did a great job playing a creature that is physically unable to express feelings and words properly, while at the same time suffering from the lack of communication and seemingly unrequited love to a human girl. Also, I think that guy is really handsome (I think I mentioned that before? XD) and he looks a damn lot like John Barrowman (Jack Harkness from Doctor Who/Torchwood) whom I also consider really handsome. All in all, maybe I just enjoyed looking at him a lot? Well, maybe ^^

Other than that, I really liked the story too. The idea of a zombie boy falling in love with a human girl might following the already pretty worn out scheme of a supernatural creature loving a mortal, but it takes on a new direction by showing us the point of view of the non-human protagonist. Also, there are not many movies about zombies showing us the world through their eyes - the only one I could think about was "Wasted Away" (I didn't even see that one. Was it any good?). Generally, zombies are usually rather used as cannon fodder in movies, and I think it's a great idea to elucidate their state of mind, in this case showing us that traces of their humanity are well preserved, and they reflect about their deeds (like R does a lot) and are not in fact mindless, walking bodies. I just like the idea or rather the concept of zombies being more than walking flesh, I find it just as interesting as "I am Legend"'s original end, where ... oh, I won't spoiler that one for you, if you're interested, just look it up yourself :)

Spoiler alert from here on!

What I especially liked about the movie was the romance. This is a rare thing for me to say, because I hate romantic movies in general (I watched Twilight because I read the books and the Fantasy aspect of the story weighed out the cheesiness of the romance to some extent, at least for me). But R and Julie's story was convincing and never felt like "too much" or exaggerated at any point.

At some point during the movie I started to realize that their names might very well be allusions to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. In fact, there were so many allusions to the play that I started to worry that end the end everyone might just die. For example, there's the easily recognizable fact that the two of them are supposed to be enemies like the Montagues and Capulets, but fall in love. Then there's R's friend "M" (turns out to be "Marcus" but can be a reference to Mercutio), who fights a horde of Bonies with the other zombies to protect R and Julie - where I expected him to die, to be honest. Then there was the balcony scene, which was kind of the last, dead sure giveaway to me. At that point I was really expecting the couple to die at the end. If you saw the movie, I guess you can imagine me cringing at the scene at the stadium, where they jump from the threshold and R protects Julie - and doesn't wake up at first. "That's it" I thought. "He's dead."
But he wasn't! And then not even Julie's father shot him dead, and they managed to turn the whole story to a happy end! I was so, so happy that I was wrong with my assumptions!

This could actually be a pretty big message "hidden" away in that movie. When comparing R and Julie's story to Romeo and Juliet's, we can see a lot of similarities, and yet one ends tragically and the other has a perfect happy end. The question is, what made the difference? Was it just the writer's will? I would say, no. In my opinion, the main reason is the common enemy, that makes the humans and zombies unite and fight together: the Bonies. In Shakespeare's story, there is no such element of course, but in "Warm Bodies" we have the rivaling groups fighting side by side and also recognizing their similarities, the humans start to see that there is still life left in the zombies and that with their help they can become human again.

We can now either simply put it down to the point that this whole "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" situation is all there is to it. But I think there is even more meaning to the story than that.

In the movie, the zombies learn what it means to be human again. In the end, it is shown how the humans and zombies cooperate and live and work together, and the zombies, like R before them, slowly regain their humanity by interacting with humans. So in order to resolve the conflict - flesh eating zombies versus humans - one of the two sides had to change and adapt to become more like the other side. It took one representative of each site to initiate this change, but in the end, the zombies change "for the better" and become human again, which is most likely what they wanted - if they were like R, who was apparently very keen on experiencing what it means to be a normal human. However, he also wonders if the others have the same thoughts as him, and we never really get to know if he might not simply be the only zombie who retains so much of his human side that he has these thoughts (all illustrated especially well in the monologue in the beginning of the movie).

There is another question, which is why he fell in love with Julie to begin with. Of course, he eats her boyfriend's brain, which causes him to re-live certain memories and experience his emotions. However it is indicated that he noticed Julie as something special even before that, and it is also hinted that Perry, the boyfriend, was not very appreciative of his relationship with Julie anymore anyway. So maybe R was really something special, meaning that he retained enough of his humanity to be able to experience love at first sight, which was something like a kickstarter for his transformation back into a human. Maybe zombies are above all other "symptoms" deprived of neurotransmitters and by eating the brain of a human they can resupply their bodies for a while, experiencing some human emotions. Both factors combined (love at first sight and eating the brain of a human) might have initiated the transformation in R, and the two factors alone would not have worked out equally well.

There is another "moral" or motive to that. The zombies eat human brains because they "miss" these human emotions. They eat them to be able to feel again, and ultimately, the solution of the conflict is that they turn into their former "prey", which enables them to feel again on their own, without having to feed on human brains. This comes down to a simple "You are what you eat" motive. It shows another aspect of the final solution of the conflict, where one side has to turn into the other to truly resolve the situation.

The final question that lingers around is whether or not it is necessary that zombies turn back into humans in order to resolve the conflict. Apart from the fact that it was necessary for R and Julie to prove that R is bleeding (because the zombies don't whereas humans do) to Julie's father to prevent him from shooting R, would it not have been enough for the zombies to start to feel again and regenerate from their "stupor" in order to stop the fighting itself? Imagining Julie's father had a less violent nature, would it be possible to achieve a coexistence between humans and zombies without them wholly returning to their human origins?

I am not sure about that. While I personally would have loved it if the zombies retain something of their former zombie selves, it is made clear that they return completely to human "status", indicated by their change in skin tone, eye color and even their scars vanishing. I found that last point especially baffling, because it basically means "unmaking" something that is otherwise impossible. Physically the zombies turn into humans without any visible trace of their former state, however they quite possibly keep the memories they had during their time as zombies, such as hunting humans and eating their brains, maybe even some of the memories of their victims. I imagine this to be quite traumatizing, then again, maybe they just slowly forget about their pasts as zombies during their change.

Still, I would have preferred the zombies to stay non-human at least at some point. The way the movie (and probably also the novel on which it was based) puts it, the zombies need to prove that they can change 100% down to the point where they start to bleed again and their eye color returns to normal etc. before they are accepted. I think - and this is one of the main messages I take with me from that movie - this tells a lot about our ways of regarding and resolving conflicts. We are not capable to accept a compromise in most cases. We do not want somebody to come a step forward towards our direction or understand our point or be similar to us. In order to accept them, they have to be like us. In order to resolve the conflict, the have to come over to our side, because a 50/50 solutions is not enough for us. And this is also why in reality, conflicts are so much more difficult to resolve. Because most people just won't meet their adversaries half way, they will wait at their end until the other comes the whole way, and concerning that mot people are like that some conflicts will just never be really resolved.

In the end, this causes the movie's happy ending to have a bitter taste to it, when even Julie can only acknowledge the fact that R is actually really good looking when he is covered in layers of make up that make him more human-like (though she already described her feelings for him to Nora earlier, I give her that at least).

So the movie has a happy ending, but the more I think about it (and I do admit I am probably over-interpreting this quite much) the more unrealistic it seems. Because human nature is like Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. It is violent, revengeful and full of hate for "others". The fact that the zombies were able to fully return to being humans was sheer luck, the fact that M didn't die and R didn't feel the need to take revenge like Romeo did after Mercutio's death was too convenient, the fact that R didn't die (again) from jumping from the stadium was a lot of luck again and the fact that Julie's dad doesn't shoot him dead right afterwards and heard the two of them out was another positive surprise. And lastly, the simple fact that R had still enough capability to experience human emotion left to fall in love with Julie - and that he actually met her - was luck too.

I like the movie because it doesn't feel the need to slaughter it's protagonists and it proves to me that a movie can be good without any major or side characters dying (except for the boyfriend, but he was a douchebag). Yet it makes me sad that the real world rarely provides us with enough of the "luck" the protagonists experience. So on one hand, other movies/scripts/books enjoy to make us like and love their characters only to kill them off gruesomely and make us suffer and are supposed to make us reflect about our inevitable fate, this story explicitly (in the sense that even characters you would 'expect' to die sometimes several times, like M and Nora, do not get killed) does not do that. But on the other hand, in this story the protagonists are upon closer inspection blessed with such ridiculous amounts of sheer luck, that it makes me personally reflect about the "unfairness" of real life in comparison non the less. Which is an interesting - while somewhat depressing - thought to have by itself, and in the end the "happy ending" caused me to think about it all a lot more than an "unhappy ending" would have.

It made me reflect a lot about the behavior of humans in conflicts and made me realize that the key point that allows the whole conflict in the movie to be resolved is really the complete change from zombie to human with the key scene being where R gets shot and bleeds from it. Less than 100% transformation would have been unacceptable, and after all that insane amount of luck the protagonists had up to that point, this could have been enough for their efforts to be all in vain, because not being able to prove R's transformation to a human, Julie's father most probably would have shot him.
It's actually a really sad reflection of our own society, if you think about it that way. But that's the way it is. You can fight as hard as you like, in the end it might take only a single person who opposes you to bring you down and make your efforts in vain.

But then again, I am overthinking it probably anyway :) Maybe those things were not even intended or meant that way by the writer, yet these are the conclusion I come to when I compare it to the similar story of Romeo and Juliet.

Anyway. Overall, I really, really liked that movie.
So much that I actually consider making it part of my "favorite movies" list. Because it's a funny, interesting, nice to look at and a romance that doesn't actually make me wanna barf.

So, now that you've read through all of my rambling, why don't you let me know what you think about the movie in the comments! :)

Aaaaaand so that you don't forget how I look like: this is how I look like. Yey!
(More ~~interesting~~ pictures coming soon, stay tuned and check out my instagram for a sneak peak ;D )