I am Second

CRHP Thank You Letter- Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:55:00 +0000

Good Morning Mom-

There is much I would like to share with you but I wanted to take a moment to thank you for first for being the best mom. I am very blessed to have had your loving heart to raise me and walk with me through this life. I am so very thankful for you. You have been such a great follower of Christ. This gift alone is absolutely the most amazing gift which you have given me.

CRHP Thank You Letter- Uncle Jim

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:54:00 +0000

Uncle Jim-

So much I would love to share with you. I want to first tell you how thankful I am for you. We may have lived most of our lives very much apart but your impact on my life has been apparent. I cannot tell you how important the Derosier's have been in planting those early seeds of faith in my life. At an early age you were a man that I saw something different in. I saw a deep faith and a radiating goodness. You were always a kind man with a wonderful sense of humor much like Gram's. I know my mom thinks the world of you as brother. I have seen how you have cared from Gram all these years. What a special woman she is! She is a gift from God for all of us. As I write my witness letter, I would love to share it with you. My hope is you will smile today reading this note, for you have blessed me and I am thankful that the Lord has done great things with you and your family. We are all blessed by you.

I have returned to the Catholic faith after being in the Protestant church for the past 10 years. I have always been Catholic just a little lost:) It is the Lord's work that I am back. It is truly a story of how He in countless ways nudged me back to the faith of my upbringing. I like to say Catholic is 3D and Protestant is 2D black/white TV!

CRHP Thank You Letter- Ramsey

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:52:00 +0000

Ramsey,

I am so thankful almost 23 years ago to have yes to the Lord to become you friend and dad. You have been and important part in my journey of following Christ. It was you who delivered the message from Jesus to return to church. It was that nudge 10 years ago that changed everything for me. Thank you for this gift. I am so excited to be a part of your life and your future. I know there are many joys to come. You are truly my daughter.

CRHP Thank You Letter-Sis

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:51:00 +0000

To Sis-

Who would of known that you and I would be so close. I am so thankful for you. You have been so important all these years in my walk away and to Christ. You are such a wonderful woman who is an awesome mom, wife, friend and believer of Christ. I have prayed many of times to have the lord provide me a woman of your character. You have always known whats best for me. You have taught me so much about being faithful and at the same time being ok with being broken and in need. Thank you being a part of my life and the kids. So much more... good news we get to do this together in Christ. Glad you encouraged me to do CRHP. Thanks for your strength and rescuing me out of my last debacle. P)

Thank you for the kind note you left for me during my church retreat. As I sat there and read your letter I was filled with joy and of course shed a few healing tears. Thank you for filling me up. I wanted to share with you an excerpt from my journal to give you a little insight into how the Lord, friends, and family all picked me in a time where I really needed it. It is good to be loved. Thank you for sharing your love for me. It was truly a precious gift. J

Journal Excerpt from my retreat-

The story of my life is not about my wounds and struggles. It is not about how I failed to follow the Lord’s will, to have in error thought I could do it my way. No, my story is about the healing and conquering powers of Jesus Christ in my life. Yes, healing yet to then be sent back out to the front lines of the battlefield to fight some more. This cycle is what this earthly life is about and especially the Christian path to the gates of heaven. It is the battlefield stories of wins and losses, of wounds and redemption, which are molding me into being more Christ like, with ability to love as He loves.

My battlefield has surely produced wounds and I have wounded others. What I am about to share with you is my story against the background of the Lord’s work in my life. The Bible is clear God the Father and Son along with the Holy Spirit clearly warns us and equips us to fight this battle. The scriptures are absolutely clear as you will see as I reflect on my journey, it’s very much a spiritual war, a daily battle against the evil powers which rule this present world. As I tell you about my war some 50 years into my life, I hope you see how my fellow soldiers in Christ have picked me up, helped me heal, and how I in return have done the same for them….

CRHP Thank You Letter-Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:49:00 +0000

Dad-

I am thankful to have a father like you. You have help me become the man that I am. Your examples are numerous and here are a few I picked up along the way. You taught me discipline, to be healthy, how to fix things, to be conservative in life, and importance finding time no matter what to attend mass in reverence and respect for what God has provide all of us. You provided for us and kept of safe. You are a good man. I so appreciate your commitment to mom and that have taken care of Karen over these tough years of her sickness. I am truly thankful for all those times you have helped both financially and with a strong word of truth. I know it must of been tough for you to see some of the decisions I have made in my life. I appreciate that you have always stood by my side.

Michael

Letter From Sis

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 14:20:00 +0000

Dear Michael,

From back as far as I can remember, you have always been that person I can trust with anything. You sheltered me as we grew up from others meanness and/or hurt. I could always count on you, my big brother. The strength and values you carried as a young man taught me most about the kind of man I would some day choose as my life long partner. A strong but gentle man. You have always had an amazing ability to find the good in everyone. Your heart is bigger than anyone I know. You would do anything for anyone. Your example of selflessness has helped shape me into a loving person just like you.

My prayers for you over this renewal weekend, have been about asking God to send forth the Holy Spirit to reign in your heart and for you to feel the most accepted and loved you have ever felt. I continue to pray for you to release the hurt of your 2 past marriages. The truth about you is you are a loving, kind, humble, funny, brave, strong, smart, man (friend-brother-dad-son). Someday, God will present you with a woman that sees and believes in all these qualities about you. It will be worth all these trials to get to her.

During my Christ Renews His Parish weekend, I had no idea how much it would influence my life forever. It's beautiful to watch the Holy Spirit undo so much hurt, evil, and brokenness over weeks of transformation and beyond. The men sitting around you will be some of the best, trustworthy, unselfish brothers you will have ever met. You will realize trust like nothing you have ever experienced. Trust in Jesus; trust in your brothers.

I believe God presented this weekend to you at just the right time. It's ironic that the theme my team came up with for the weekend we put on was "put away the old...Be renewed in the Spirit...and put on the new self." Ephesians 4:23 and now it's the theme of your weekend. A God moment! These words from the bible reaffirm to me why the Holy Spirit drew you here; a renewal of your heart, mind, and spirit. Perfect timing for the part of you that is struggling with a couple failed relationships, the effects on Mia & Dean, and the things you doubt about yourself. Let it all go. Today and beyond are for the glory of God; to live always centered in his grace. How freeing it is you don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.

Thank you for so much....for listening to me, protecting me, making me feel safe, praying for me and my family, sitting endless hours at the hospital with me, accepting and loving me. I am so grateful to have you as my brother. Watching you come out of the darkness into the light has been amazing. Thank you for walking beside me through it all! I will never leave you. Most importantly, God is walking with and sometimes carrying you. I am grateful you confide in me. Praise God I can be there for you.

I can't wait to hear all about your CRHP experience (when you are ready)! And share mine with you. I don't know what I'd do without you. Let's continue making memories together. Our children will benefit with our example of living with God first. Thank you for the positive role model you are to my 3 boys and being there for them in their endeavors. I love you very much! XO Now go light the world!

Believe!

Karen

Purpose of the Elect(Chosen)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 14 Jan 2014 13:22:00 +0000

To live one's life to Coram Deo (in the presence of God) under the authority of God and to the honor and glory of God. As Jesus said, "If you love me, keep my commandments."(John 14:15)

From the age 13 or 14 I can remember struggling and wanting to discover my purpose in life. Why was I here, what am I to do? Is it about me? It was the wrong answer the that last question that lead to the end of myself. Fast forward several decades and now I yearn to be in his presence to hear Him say "Job well done, Michael!"

To Hear God's Voice

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 01 Dec 2013 02:17:00 +0000

This is an ongoing post so that I may truly convey to you how my life is effected most days by the Lord Jesus. This might be one of the most important posts I can leave with you. Why? I truly believe and have come to know that the Lord wants me to hear his voice of instruction almost every day if not more. In the following weeks I will explore my prayer time and how I practice His being in Jesus' presence. These conduits (spiritual disciplines) reveal His will for my life in such sweetness and sometimes in a direct rebuke of my behavior.

First, I want to say with much sadness that the church of today leaves many, if not all of its members vacant of this instruction. These are timeless spiritual disciplines and are as old as the 3rd century. What I will share with you is not something I made up, but something I was taught. It is these three tools that have truly impacted my walk with Christ. Stay tuned, more to come... :)

Morning Prayer: Ambition

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 29 Nov 2013 14:36:00 +0000

Matthew 20:17-28 "wishes to be great, among you must be your servant"
Lord, today you have seen them in my heart those many wants to be ambitious and successful. My invitation from your Word is Mike you must take the path of serving others. Look at it from this perspective rather from a forceful taking perspective. Lord when I get ambitious I get where I force my life and I wish to remain in You and let you guide my life.

I am Back

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 26 Nov 2013 03:21:00 +0000

I am not completely sure why I have not written here for over 3 years but it is time to grind through my heart, soul, mind, and leave here on these pages my Edification from the Lord.

I am a Christian

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 01:27:00 +0000

The words below were spoken back on September 13, 1980 by Charles Malik who gave an address called "The Two Tasks" at the opening of the Billy Graham Center at Wheaton College. He was the Lebanese Ambassador to the United States. I have not read a more beautiful exposition of how I too have come to love Jesus and find my life worthless without His love and His pursuit of me. This is what I would tell you if you ask me how and what it is to follow Christ; our Saviour.

I speak to you as a Christian. Jesus Christ is my Lord and God and Savior and Song day and night. I can live without food, without drink, without sleep, without air, but I cannot live without Jesus. Without him I would have perished long ago. Without him and his church reconciling men to God, the world would have perished long ago. I live in and on the Bible for long hours every day. The Bible is the source of every good thought and impulse I have. In the Bible God himself, the Creator of everything from nothing, speaks to me and to the world directly, about himself, about ourselves, and about his will for the course of events and for the consummation of history. And believe me, not a day passes without my crying from the bottom of my heart, ‘Come, Lord Jesus.'

I am a dead and lifeless man without you Jesus. The joy you have set in my heart is beyond the words I can express in words or in speech. I only hope you can see it my smile, in the way I treat you and others. I am devastated that He gave me the ears and heart to hear His call. Amen

Are you giving life?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 14:03:00 +0000

If I had to boil down one central idea to give to my friends it is this message that in each of us lies a love question we all need answered. Consider this in your heart do you give life to your wife/husband and/or significant other?

“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

God made Adam first and put him in the Garden with a job to do, a mission to fulfill. In the heart of every fallen man is the self-doubt that wonders, “Am I man enough to climb this mountain God has called me to? Can I fulfill my destiny?” A wise wife will understand that question at the center of her husband’s heart. And she will spend her life answering it, communicating to him in various ways, “Honey, I believe in your call. I know you can do this, by God’s power. Go for it.” In this way, she will breathe life into her man.

God made Eve from Adam, for Adam, to help him follow the call. In the heart of every fallen woman is the self-doubt that wonders, “Do I please you? Am I what you wanted?” A wise husband will understand that question at the center of his wife’s heart. And he will spend his life answering it, communicating to her in various ways, “Darling, you are the one I need. I cherish you. Let me hold you close.” In this way, he will breathe life into his wife.

By Pastor Dr.Ray Orlund

I hope you spend the rest of your time breathing life into your Eve/Adam by answering their question.

The wounds we deliver - Parenthood

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:37:00 +0000

The words of Henri Nouwen, a Jesuit Priest remind me today of words that I have spoken often to my fellow parents that our kids are strangers in our house. We have been given these children to help them find God’s purpose for their lives. What I want to call your attention to is the wounds we give our children that we might not realize we inflict upon them. My own experience is that the greatest wound we can give to our kids is to treat them as our property. When we treat them as if we own them, it brings out own insecurity and lack of faith that God will work out their lives without our control and manipulation. The foundation/covenant of God’s love and therefore ours too is to love. Foundational to love is freedom; a freedom to make decisions as to what is right(towards God’s will) or wrong(away from God’s will). Controlling our kids breeds great anxiety in them by fostering a fear if they do make their own decision and it results in a failure that we might not love them or judge them; judgment is a withdrawal of love.

I have seen and experienced firsthand the lifelong damage that controlling parents have had on their grown children. The results of this judgment and control breed insecure adults who are unable to deal with how hard life is, so they turn to coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs, materialism, and sex. These coping mechanisms let them feel good temporarily and in the end due to the guilt of the cover up sins, it compounds the original defeating issue resulting in furthering to decrease their self esteem(worth less to God or anyone feeling). Insecurity is really a lack of feeling loved and when we are not loved the burn of loneliness creeps in. A wise psychologist said that these life forces rule our every decision in life; fear of abandonment, need for autonomy, and the need to be connected. Funny thing is this sounds like the basis of love and it came from a non-Christian therapist.

I know and have been guilty of trying to control my kid’s by telling them what do and think in hopes they will not make a mistake. We as parents need to realize our mistakes made us who we are today. Most of you I know well enough to somewhat understand your wounds. It is the healing of those wounds that has made each of us into beautiful works of God and why I enjoy and learn from each of you. God literally broke/killed His only Son in order to give us life. So, I plead with each one of you today to let your kids make mistakes and not control them, so they too can know Jesus and understand that we like Him, love them no matter what they do. My job is to share my experiences with my kids and to create a safe loving environment by which if they do fail/fall that they can come to me and God for comfort and further guidance. If we take the vantage point of controlling them, they will seek someone other than us or God to bear their mistake which is usually not a good thing.

Don’t take my word look at your friends who had controlling judgmental parents. I will bet most of them have issues that are apparent. Take a minute to read the excerpt below. I know you will and especially your kids be blessed by Henri’s wisdom.

The Great Gift of Parenthood
Children are their parents' guests. They come into the space that has been created for them, stay for a while - fifteen, twenty, or twenty-five years - and leave again to create their own space. Although parents speak about "our son" and "our daughter," their children are not their property. In many ways children are strangers. Parents have to come to know them, discover their strengths and their weaknesses, and guide them to maturity, allowing them to make their own decisions.The greatest gift parents can give their children is their love for each other. Through that love they create an anxiety-free place for their children to grow, encouraging them to develop confidence in themselves and find the freedom to choose their own ways in life.
These reflections are taken from Henri J.M. Nouwen's Bread for the Journey.

Marriage; Contract or Covenant?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 18:41:00 +0000

Marriage is not a “contract” it is a “covenant”. Contracts are terms “if you fulfill your part, I will fulfill mine.” Covenant is "I will love you with an everlasting love. I will be faithful to you, even when you run away from me, reject me, or betray me." I divorced because my heart was harden in thinking I was in a contract.

Christianity is:

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:34:00 +0000

I think we each should ponder William Wilberforce’s quotes below at to what Christianity is about especially his third statement. William was especially jealous to keep clear the right relationship between good works and justification.

Wilberforce said, "Christianity is:
1. a scheme "for justifying the ungodly" [Romans 4:5], by Christ's dying for them "when yet sinners" [Romans 5:6-8],
2. a scheme "for reconciling us to God"—when enemies [Romans 5:10];

3. and for making the fruits of holiness the effects, not the cause, of our being justified and reconciled."

Justification is the doctrine that God pardons, accepts, and declares a sinner to be "just" on the basis of Christ's righteousness (Rom 3:24-26; 4:25; 5:15-21) which results in God's peace (Rom 5:1), His Spirit (Rom 8:4), and salvation. Justification is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ apart from all works and merit of the sinner. Wikipedia

Holiness defined as being or the process of being separated unto God.

Or maybe I can put this into my own words that Christianity is bearing fruit(expressing inward and outward joy in loving Jesus) by letting(given up control) Jesus bare our sins(those things that we do/did not Glorify the Father) that through His gift (no anything we gave/give) of Grace which is a call that we hear in our hearts. The result shows the world around us we love Him. When you truly love someone or something it cannot be helped from being noticed. It is why telling someone you love them doesn’t work as well as the action of loving someone with a hug, kiss, a look and/or just being satisfied or well pleased pleased with them. A good example is that when I am most satisfied in Dean a huge smile comes across his face. This is how God must feel when we are satisfied in His Son.

God is most glorified, when we are most joyful in Him. So our life's purpose is to find JOY in knowing Jesus; He takes care of the rest(fruits).

The Cup of Loneliness

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 06:07:00 +0000

Today Lord you have burdened my heart and mind to grapple with the misunderstood theme of loneliness; our inescapable call to solitude. This call to solitude is best described by Moses in the account of Adam in the creation story, when Adam realized he was different from all the animals of the world (Genesis 2:20). Adam realized his uniqueness made him feel intensely alone. However, God knew Adam and understood his loneliness and deemed it was not good for Adam to feel this way (quote). Adam needed a helper (Genesis 2:18). This Helper He called Eve. The New King James Bible describes Eve’s role as a “help meet”. I understand this to say, a woman is made to “help man meet” God. Eve is God’s crowning of His creation; the last activity God did before He rested on the seventh day. God designed her to reveal the glory and power of His creation; in her strengths, beauty, and most important ability to bare His children. Eve in her greatest relationship capacities beckons Adam to be in relationship with creation and God. Eve’s image reflects God’s heart; creative, beautiful, graceful, and nurturing. It is God’s love for us that is best shown in the power of a connected, innocence, open hearted woman. This Godly woman is rightly defined in Proverbs 31:10-31. She completes God’s triune Love; man, woman, and God all in one relationship. This triune relationship entirely glorifies God when He is the focus of a man and a woman coming together. God did not intend for us to remove Him from equation. God gives us this relationship as a tangible, earthly, experiential gift for us to use while in our temporary physical lives. Yes, we will only need marriage while here on earth, that in heaven we will not need marriage (Matthew 22:30).

The story of Adam and Eve in the garden shows us how our original parents took upon themselves to remove God from this Tri-union. They thought they only needed each other as a way to escape their loneliness. What they soon learned is their union could only temporarily and partially suppress the loneliness. Marriage is not in itself a true escape from loneliness. It is easy to see how the two-in-one union that was so powerful in the early days of the relationship soon fades and loneliness again sets in to stay until one acts in defiance, in order to break the grip of loneliness. This gets filled in many ways but mostly by self activities or busyness.

This feeling of loneliness is a result of our lack of understanding that God made us to be in a relationship with Him, whether we are married or single. All of us are made unique for God's purposes; this uniqueness gives us each a feeling of aloneness and separateness. He made us to be separated to Him and by this we cannot truly experience true joy unless we stay separated to Him. Most single people find it easier staying separated to God, but for most of us He calls us to marriage. Marriage does not replace being separated to God but calls the union of the man and one in a one flesh covenant to make Him a part of this union. God loves to work in threes as in the Trinity; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Marriage covenant is not to make us happy, but to make us "holy" by which I mean it give us a better understanding who God is. We must make God the focal point in our marriages, if we expect them to prosper, let alone survive. The greatest expression of this union is when a man and woman unite in sexual intimacy. This joining of the flesh restores our unity even if it only lasts for a few minutes it still has a strong capacity to quenches our loneliness. Sex when done rightly, is a Glorification of God’s covenant of marriage, thus glorifying the perfection of His original design of sex. Sex does such a phenomenal job at satisfying loneliness. It is easy to how our culture has perverted sex's power. However, this is not the goal of sex but a bi-product of the temporary union. Sex in triune fashion creates and deepens the male, female bond for life.

Let me end these thoughts with what I intended to chase down today in the first place. We all yearn for communion with someone or something greater than ourselves. We are all so desperate to be in communion that we try to fill it with anything we can. There are thousands of things we do in this life to try to remove this feeling of which keeping busy and numb top the list. I will submit a solution, one that will be exceedingly contrary our intellect; that we need to befriend and embrace the pain of our loneliness. As we embrace this pain, it begins to point us back to God as our one true source of life; the one who gave us our hearts. Can you imagine the loneliness that Jesus felt going to the cross? No, but He did it out of the will of His Father and His atoning sacrifice for us; the elect, who chose to believe. Can you fathom what it would be like be on death row just hours to your death? As we approach our death, the unknown of what lies for us on the other side, knowing we cannot take anything with that gave us comfort in the material world or can we take anyone with us. It is this ultimate loneliness where God showed us how much He loves us by killing His one and only Son. The pain of loneliness in this world gives us an opportunity to believe in Jesus; promise to give us life especially when we feel like we are dying in our loneliness. In the end God can only satisfy our loneliness, whether single or married.

My hope is you drink this cup of pain as Jesus did knowing that as your drink of Him. He will restore your heart; a good heart, a new heart, a heart for relationship that includes Him. This loneliness we all have in common, every one of us. It is a place we all understand. It is a place to meet and give your gift to the world. Be lonely my friends; drink as much as you can in those times. It will strengthen you and provide you a passionate heart to love.

There’s got to be more to life than this!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 17:07:00 +0000

Angst: strong worry and unhappiness, especially about personal problems (Cambridge Dictionary)

I have noticed a common sense of “angst” that cuts across almost all of us. There is a sense that life is not what we thought it would be like. There seems to be an undercurrent, especially in those rare times when we truly quiet our minds and assess the status of our hearts. We check in on our hearts and it whispers to us that familiar notion, “I was made for more than I am living; Am I not a king or princess?” We wonder where our life went astray. This sense we are not living out our true purpose. Ask anyone this question and I will bet a “yes” or a blank look as their mind quickly assess if honesty is the best response to keep their facade of “life is good” going.

This noticing of ourselves I believe is a nudge from God who made us in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27). God’s image is not shown in our failures or shortcomings. For He created each one of us that we might live a life that glorifies Him (1 Corinthians 10:31)(Isaiah 43:6-7). If God is love (1 John 4:18) and we are His image bearers then our true selves must reflect His love. Love is patience, kind, doesn’t envy, never boastful or conceited, nor rude and never selfish (1 Corinthians 13:4). These are expressed in our compassion, friendship, truthfulness, intimacy, and giving up ourselves for the benefit of others which in turn glorifies God. These actions reflect His nature and our natural self before the Fall of our parents; Adam and Eve.

However, our image is marred by evil. Evil is the thoughts and actions which take us away from glorifying God. The evil has taken hold in each of our hearts because we, like our original parents chose to rely on our own abilities and not of our creator who made us for His purpose. This going away from God’s purpose is the definition of being a sinner. We are totally depraved in the presence of God (Romans 3:9-18) and not worthy of His grace, which He gives to us freely out of no act on our behalf (Genesis 6:5). Yes, I said trying to be good is not what our salvation and our predestined royalty is about. All sin has its roots, very simply, in lying to ourselves, others, and God. This, my friends, is what is keeping us individually and collectively in “angst”. We are constantly fed a stream of lies by evil, the ruler of earth and our culture (Matthew 4:7-10). Evil whispers in our ears that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy of anything that is good. This pervasive doubt is why we don’t believe in heaven, for evil has convinced us that there is no such place. So out of this lie and doubt/unbelief, we try to be our own god (little “g”) and create heaven on earth.

We do a pretty good job at creating this false heaven; the heaven on earth I call the “American Dream”. We wall ourselves off to anything that is not comfortable or easy. We worship earthly success over Godliness, for we have become creators and controllers of our own destiny. Any of us who have lived long enough or have been broken realize that we have no control over our existence, life just happens to us. We are so mired in the busyness and mess of our lives we cannot step back and understand the larger story of our lives. It takes being broken to understand, we control nothing. It is the greatest lie the enemy to life tell us; that we can control our lives. We erect these walls out of fear of losing control, for if someone else is truly driving, where will He take us? He may just take us out of our comfort zone.

Most of daily existence is lived in this fear that is outside our walls. These are specially built walls which we think protects us. These visible and invisible walls are constructed in our minds by our beliefs in materialism and consumerism, and is re-enforced by bad behavior modification/suppression (religion) and painted by a pretty coat of numbness. In order to keep our walls up, we must oppress the rest of the planet by hording its resources. Once in a while we peak over the walls and see a broken world that we know needs our help! We look at the wall and tell ourselves “it’s too high, I can’t go over there it’s not safe, and/or I really can’t make a difference in what’s going on over there.” This “looking over the wall” adds to our angst and fear.

I have learned that behavior modification or better put using our own will to try to suppress our evil sinful ways, will only last for short stints, and then our wickedness returns shortly, followed by the guilt of having regressed and failed. This guilty knowing reveals itself in our angst. This behavior modification/suppression is what Religion teaches us and is why most of us at some point left the church and God to get away from the burden of guilt. Jesus spoke of this burden that the religion lays upon their congregations (Matthew 23:1-4) describes why so many don’t want to go to church.

The root of the problem is that culture/evil tells us to love ourselves MORE at the cost of others. This is not the commandment Jesus tells us to live by. He commands us to love God and love our neighbors as ourselves equally (Luke 10:26–28). Jesus commands us to love. Commandments are calls to action, something we do. Therefore, it is not a warm fuzzy feeling He asks us to find in ourselves, but a call to action. Maybe the way out of the guilt and the way to truly live is to look at the root of the problem and that is, who and how should we be loving? We all know the prevailing wisdom set forth by almost all the self help authors. They tell us to love ourselves and to strive for improving ourselves over the call to improve/help others. The message is “get what you want in life by taking it.” Looking at any magazine stand will give anyone a great snap shot on what dozens of so called experts want to tell you and I how to improve ourselves, thus resulting in a more joyful life. If this knowledge of self improvement is so easy, so accessible, and widely read/heard, shouldn’t it be self-evident that our culture is continuing to grow happier and happier, thus each generation is more joyful than the last? I don’t think the state of the world and the American family point to any such reasoning or that the success of these messages is having on us.

In my late teens and twenties, I too fell victim to these self-help shamans, who peddled these false ways. They spoke of prosperity and those things that come with it; fame, fortune, contentment, and safety. I drank the Kool Aide and became drunk on its promises. At some point in my thirties, I had attained everything they spoke of. I had won, or at least I thought. But deep inside there was this gaping hole of discontentment and angst. I tried to ignore it. I did a really good job of keeping my life busy and numb mostly by buying man toys and searching for the next river or outdoor adventure or business to conquer. The walls were doing a good job of keeping me from being able to see myself for what I was made to be. Then God made His will for me evident. He began to break those walls down around me. He took away my prosperity and what He revealed was a man who wanted to love and be loved (John 1:12-13). I began to feel and to have emotions. I now see people not for what they can do for me, but how can I know them and love them with my gifts (John 3:3). My heart and eyes opened to a whole new reality, like going from black/white TV to HDTV. This new way of seeing/feeling life is now filled with a whole range of experiences, from seeing pure evil, pain, suffering, brokenness to joy in finding love and seeing my son smile when he senses my approval, seeing brokenness restored, and all the while watching how God works out His will in others. It is a wild ride my friends. Nothing like I thought life would be like, but at times a sense of content rolls over me. Not often enough but the angst is still there!

I now know the angst feeling is God telling me that He has much more for me beyond this earthly life. He wants me to take my talents and my prosperity and give to those who have been disadvantage by geography, society, government, and economics. I will use this angst, not spur myself onto acquiring more things or in the pursuit if self actualization, but as God’s prodding me to take the gifts and wealth He has entrusted me with and spread it to those that are in need. It also pushes me to tell my story so that others can identify their angst and the hole in their hearts, in hopes they may too find a life worth living in high definition.

We are not alone in this angst and we are not without a guide, a Sheppard (John 10:10-11). Angst connects us all to God’s promise and His will. We just have to love Him and others by taking up our cross (Mark 8:34) and following Jesus for He came to show us the way. By loving others, our action(commandment) of love changes other’s lives for the better and not by sheer coincidence it give us Life and stores rewards for us in Heaven for eternity. Jesus said "for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mark 8:36-36)

May your angst nudge you back towards becoming the man/woman God designed you to be. My hope is you realize, that you are not in control, and that you were made for more. When angst arises it is the holy spirit, your intuition; a helper that Jesus put in the hearts of us all, which guides us to reclaim our true image (John 14:16-18). The answer is contained in our hearts, and by having faith, you and I will work out our way to God by following Jesus and not the ways of culture. Your heart is good. Let others see it. It contains your true image. This journey of the heart will hurt for their will be much suffering in giving up ourselves. Life/Salvation does not come cheaply. Live in angst, but do not ignore it.

I love you all more than you know.

Finding a Woman; Our Missing Rib

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:57:00 +0000

To My Son Dean –

If I only knew these things when I was young it would of saved me great heartache and loneliness. It is these words from God’s I share with you so that one day you and I may truly find a good Godly woman. Takes these words to heart, I do. For God has promised the following woman to me. He has made you the same promise. Many will try to capture your goodness and your love for Jesus. Women will use their beauty and emotional power to win your heart but I implore you to seek God’s council in His Word. I am beside you and will guide you also the best I can. For our Eve awaits us and that is great news.

God as Mom writes: "Oh, son of mine, what can you be thinking of! Child whom I bore! The son I dedicated to God! Don't dissipate your virility on fortune-hunting women, promiscuous women who shipwreck leaders.

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.

Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.

Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.

She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.

She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.

She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.

First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.

She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.

She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.

Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.

Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.

Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.

The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.

Give her everything she deserves!

Festoon her life with praises!

Proverbs 31 The Message (emphasis added)

In Service, Dad

Mocking His Marriage Covenant

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:30:00 +0000

My Friends-

We call ourselves men and women who love Christ but we fear not the wrath of Him who will judge us. We take His laws and covenants and make a mockery of them my disobeying them. God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift and to protect us from evil. He gave us the 10 commandments because He loves us and new we need rules to keep us safe and closer to him. Covenants, like the laws are to protect us from evil and to make us pleasing to God. We have answered the question "Why we are here?" for it is only and truly only to glorify our Jesus. Yet we take these laws and covenants and break them as we see fit to make ourselves happy. We rationalize our the circumstances that surround our disobedience and justify our breaking of His laws/covenants. How would it go over in a court of law if we explained to the judge that “Judge, I was just speeding 120 mph in a 65 mph zone because it made me happy and felt good.” The Judge would laugh and say “Son, the laws are in place to protect you and the good of all. I don’t care it made you feel good. I find you guilty of breaking the law.” I say to you “is not Jesus going to judge us rightly for those laws and covenants we broke?”

There are two separate judgments outlined in the Bible. We will be judged at the Judgment Seat of Christ (Romans 14:10-12). Every believer will give an account of himself/herself, and the Lord will judge the decisions he/she made—including those concerning issues of conscience. This judgment does not determine salvation, which is by faith alone (Ephesians 2:8-9), but rather is the time when believers must give an account of their lives in service to Christ.

God gave us the covenant of marriage as a gift. The gift was given to us for God knew we were lonely and we needed a helper (Genesis 2:18). You and I have taken this gift and have done things with it that has made God very angry. We have defiled and used this gift for our own pleasures and sometimes at the expense of another person’s judgment day. I am referring to having sex outside of marriage. Sex or better put becoming “one flesh”(Mark 10:8) was a sign or an ongoing ratification of the marriage covenant. Nowhere in the bible does it speak to sex as a gift for our enjoyment outside being married. We must avoid all fornication(sex outside of marriage) 1 Corinthians 4:2 and it is the only sin we can do against our own body(1Corinthians 6:18) which is a temple of God. So therefore you sin against God who made us in His image (Genesis 1:27).

The following passage in 1 Corinthians 6:12-15 from The Message paraphrases the Bible so well. “12Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my whims. 13You know the old saying, "First you eat to live, and then you live to eat"? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that's no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! 14-15God honored the Master's body by raising it from the grave. He'll treat yours with the same resurrection power. Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master's body. You wouldn't take the Master's body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not.” The Message

My fellow brothers/sisters in Christ in order to please and glorify God I submit and demand we can no longer in good conscious disobey God and break His covenants and laws blatantly in the name of personal fulfillment or in thinking we are helping that other person know God. Let me add that sex with another person outside of marriage does not heal our own wounds of past relationships or prepare us to be better lovers in the future.

I end these words to back up my warnings for they are scriptural and are spoken so well in 2 Timothy of why God gave us scripture which in lies His laws and covenants.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16-17

So I ask you this day are you willing to hold each other and ourselves to higher standards, the one’s our God laid out for us? Will you save the gift for your last lover so that your body is as pure for that person as it can be?

Come on just listen to His voice that one that speaking into your heart by ways of guilt or irritations. Quit it before He starts yelling and the gift box becomes tattered and worn.

A Heart Which Grows Younger

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:45:00 +0000

Jesus calls us to be child like to know the Father.
Matthew 11:25-26
"At that time Jesus said, 'I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.'"

This is a beautiful prayer by a young woman who died at the age of 24. The wisdom God imparts to those that free their minds of this world and learn to hear His call.

Pray with me-

Lord give me the open heart of a child,
Let me come trustingly to You not afraid to ask for Your love,
Deliver me from the belief that I am self suficient,
Show my need of You,
Give me the grace to reach out to you,
Give me a child's simplicity and sense of wonder,
May my enthusiasm for you never dim,
Let me hasten to converse with you in the intimacy of prayer,
Give me discernment to realize there is no detail of my life to tiny for Your concern,
Help me to perceive your glory and the helplessness of the cross,
Son of God for my sake took on dependency of childhood,
Help me to accept the readiness of the Fathers grace.
Amen
Saint Theresa of Lisieux

Man+Porn = Woman + Romance Novels

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:19:00 +0000

The devastation to men inflicted by pornography is due to our visual nature. Therefore the same destruction is happening for women with the romance novel due to their emotional nature. Porn and Romance novels distort reality and damage true intimacy which is a sin. One is acceptable in culture one is not! FaceBook Post

From JV - not all men are inflicted by pornography, although we are all visual, and not all women are inflicted by romance novels.......distortion is there only if you allow it
October 8 at 11:31am ·

From PP - what the hell are you trying to say?
October 8 at 11:47am

My Reply - We are all inflicted to some level by sexual perversion and lust. I was just pointing out to all the women what they think is harmless may be ruining their ability to be truly intimate with their husband or boyfriend just like porn ruins a man's view of his wife or girlfriend.
October 8 at 12:25pm

My Reply - Not all men I agree! I know it runs rampant in groups of men I know especially with the high school young men. Porn is a huge problem more addictive than alcohol and drugs because it requires nothing of us and cheaper and easier to get and just seconds away. I have stayed away from it and have had to ask people to not send me those type of emails. I would be lying if I didn't partake of it in the past. Start burning those romance novels :)
October 8 at 3:34pm

From SM - MP, my friend, pornography may ruin YOUR view of your wife or girlfriend... but do not generalize in your comments, as pornography itself is harmless, even beneficial if taken in small doses. It may help some to open up to unknown pleasures... It´s the misuse and abuse that is harmful... and that, my friend cannot be generalized.
October 8 at 4:17pm

My Reply - So your logic goes as if to make a little crack or heroine is ok? Porn like any other evil works slowly to own the user! If you said it in Spanish I wouldn't be able to reply which in some cases might be less offensive. One day we must meet again.
Mon at 8:14pm

Who Made Me - Evolution or Intelligent Design

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:08:00 +0000

Evolution or Intelligent Design? Darwin's theory of evolution created bad fruit like EUGENICS which was responsible for the Holocaust and other genocides. Matt 7 “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves... You can identify them by their fruit...A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. But go ahead let them feed it to our kids!

From JS - Eugenics was not responsible for the Holocaust, MP! Sheesh! An overly punitive Treaty of Versailles left the German people looking to a charismatic thug with a hatred of the Jews so they could feed their starving children.. THAT's what caused the Holocaust.Eugenics is completely misunderstood and is not in itself a bad thing. We can feed the world on ever-decreasing amounts of arable land thanks to eugenics.We need to grab beers soon so we can argue more on this. :)
October 1 at 4:56pm

So I asked my daughters six grade teacher what the school was teaching. Here is their reply.

Here is my orginal question: Just curious in science does the school district teach evolution or intelligent design theory?

From School Principal - I went to the district-level for the response:

Our district science curriculum is aligned with the Kansas Science Education Standards and Assessment and the National Science Education Standards. Evolution is not a topic included in the elementary level science curriculum. Natural selection, a concept within evolution, is studied in grade 7 science. One of the many curriculum concepts in the study of biology includes evolution, which is taken by students in either 9th or 10th grade. However, human evolution is not a part of our science curriculum. Intelligent design is not taught in the science curriculum.
JM, Science Facilitator, Olathe District Schools

My Reply Back -

Thank you Pat for the attention to this matter. I feel it is important for me as a parent to know what is being taught to my kids in these matters where politics and our government start to dictate what we teach our kids in matters that don’t get equal footing like in the evolution for versus intelligent design debate. I don’t think we can ever separate our faith life from our education life because at every second of the day we must have faith. Faith that the school will not collapse when my child is there, to faith that the teachers will show up for work each day. Again, thanks for your help and I am especially thankful for your call to teach my/our kids. What an important call that is!

Have Not's and The Have's

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:58:00 +0000

Have Not's hate the Have's. The Have’s hate the Have Not’s. And nobody is left in the middle. I want the middle but I am finding it a hard place to find. Hey doesn’t Jesus want us to be Have Not’s? Maybe that’s why He has taken from me from a Have... to the middle on my way down to be a Have Not. Don’t hate me my Have friends, I won't take you down with me unless you want to go.
FaceBook Post

From JS - I dont think Jesus wants us to be a have not; but rather wants us to give generously on all occaisions; I dont think doing that as have not will not work very well.
September 28 at 1:53pm

My Reply - Bad Theology when I hear the Prosperity Bible Pitch. The Way as Jesus showed us: To Believe Jesus is God(faith), He chooses to save us, saved produces good works, we die, we are resurrected by Jesus who judges us by our works either rewards us or 2nd permanent death occur. Luke 14:27, John 12:25, Mark 8:35, Mat 16:26, Mar 10:25. I don’t think anything Christ talks about being a HAVE in this life! In the eternal life Have all you want if only if you have been saved and have good works.
September 28 at 2:44pm

From GW - HE wants us to focus "not of this world", but of the world of everlasting life. HE does want to bless us here on this earth ("in heaven as it was on earth") just not loose our focus. HE blessed so many in the bible, Solomon, David, Job - unfortunately, look what happens to most - they loose focus on the Word.
September 28 at 3:17pm

From JS - Here's a couple of verses that have meant a lot to me. I'm not a theologian so I would say any theology good or bad, on my part, was inadvertent. I have personal relationship with him that time and time again, I've experienced that he loves me so much and that he is my provision. Each and every time all my needs are met according to his riches. (Philippians 4:19) Jesus Came that we might have life and have it abundantly...John 10:10, 3 Jo 1:2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. and I always encourage people to remember that it is the "Love" of money that is the root of all evil. NOT money itself. And isn't the gift of "giving" one of the spiritual gifts? If it was more noble to be poor financially and to be a "have not" wouldn't we be cursing others when we give to them? Isn't this whole idea of poverty being piety, creating a double bind on all who hear it? I think that's why it's hard to find the middle.
September 28 at 4:09pm

From - GW - Well said Joseph
September 28 at 4:14pm

From JS - Thanks George. What if all the "Haves" loved the "have nots" ? then everybody would be covered. :)
September 28 at 4:40pm

My Reply - Joe, not coming after you but I hear so many people think and especially the churches tell people that if you just follow Christ life will be easier. Then the church gets people into doing Christianity and the hole point to Christ as you put so well it to have relationship with Him. It is that relationship that fuels good works and leads us away from greed, gluttony, pride etc.. those things that rob us from true life in Christ. Yes Yes TWO Commandments Christ said were the most important Love God and Love Each other and the rest would fall in place. Our evil run culture give us the Have and Have Not arena to keep us fighting and not loving.
September 28 at 4:45pm

From GW - Joseph, if all the Haves loved the Have nots this world would be a much better place. The most important commandment given us is to Love. period, no questions, no asterisks, just Love. All I concern myself with every day is this...Do I "HAVE" Christ in my heart and am I sharing HIS love with the "Havenots"?
September 28 at 4:59pm

My Reply -Have Not's Fear not meeting their needs. The Have's Fear not meeting their wants. Philippians 4 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. It is all about Christ
September 29 at 8:43am

From GW - To look at it another way MP. There are really only two groups of people in this world, the Haves and the Have Nots...I agree, but you either Have CHRIST and are saved, or you Have not and are lost...just something to think about.
September 29 at 9:04am

Adultery and Her Glory

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:48:00 +0000

To my dismay I see a trend amongst my male friends their (ex)wives are cheating(ed) with their hearts in the pursuit of her own GLORY. WIVES you must understand this that glory is not yours to have it is for Jesus ONLY. Your selfish needs for attention and glorification is destroying families. Luke 23:34
FaceBook Post

My Reply -These are good men I speak of loyal, kind, great fathers, providers, and nice guys. The good news for those good women out their on the good side that have experience the same Adultery you will have opportunity to find a good man and have a chance at experiencing a good man. Marriage hard dam hard remember your vows. I don't think they said cheat if your not getting the glory you deserve! I would warn men in the same vain.
September 23 at 2:16pm

From CB - I am not sure what Luke 23:34 has to do with your friends’ marriage, you might want to re-think this posting. Luke 23:34 is Jesus talking about those who are persecuting him on the cross and he says "forgive them Father, for they do not know what they are doing" There might be another scripture verse that deals with Adultery that is better suited. Again I might have misunderstood you above.
September 23 at 3:59pm

My Reply - NO, will not remove this! What I was referring to was "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." This has been my phrase that has helped so much in life. When someone flips me off or runs me off the road on my bike. Instead of getting angry back I pray to God same thing Jesus did on the cross. Forgive the Father for some have yet to deal with their own righteousness. Everyone know adultery is a sin that was too obvious to point out. The point is the she's from the main post know not what they are doing by cheating! Oh the damage they cause it ripples through every one's lives when you destroy a marriage. I have been damaged by it.
September 23 at 4:29pm

From GW - But if we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior, and we are filled with the Holy Spirit and someone sins against us by being unfaithful...they are also sinning against our Father. Remember, this body is HIS temple. I do agree that "we" also must forgive them - not continue to put up with it, but forgive them as HE has forgiven us.
September 23 at 5:56pm

My Reply - Amen G! I forgive my ex and I forgive myself for breaking up my family. Divorce is bad and not biblical per New Testament. My heart was hardened now Jesus has called me, softened my heart and given me a heart to see the Kingdom. We must forgive each other no matter what and the cheater must be forgiven for us to open our hearts to love now and in the future. He commands us to Love the Father and Love each other even our enemies. If you spouse cheats forgive them, love them keep them. If they cannot stop/repent then divorce them per Moses.
September 24 at 10:05am

From LS - A sin is a sin in Gods eyes. You can forgive the one who hurt you. But for God to forgive them they must truely repent from that din in all ways. Turn your back on the lover, friends who helped get you there, activities, what ever helped lead you to making the bad CHOICES! Noy mistakes but CHOICES!!!!! God knows what is in your heart & He knows when it is real or just trying to cover your tail. I forgave my cheating husband & because of that I knew God no longer gave me a way out of our marriage, then he did not truely repent & God walked the path right out with me. Love above all! We need to remember if we do not forgive others how do we expect God to forgive us?
October 9 at 11:46pm

It's Not the Thought that Counts

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:03:00 +0000

"If there is anything I can do for you or your family just let me know!." I HATE THIS PHRASE. Come on people those words when spoken mean you are not KIND or COMPASSIONATE enough to stop your selfishness to help. Quit patronizing those that need help and just do it. I call this JOCO, I am too busy making my life safe/easy syndrome. Dam, just go hold her hand if can't think of anything else! FaceBook Post

From SM - MP, I would try to do anything for you, but you are hopeless ... !!!! :)
September 18 at 3:40pm

From CC - Is everything ok? If you need anything let us know... We are here for ya. :)
September 18 at 6:47pm

From TJC - MP, you know Shara and I are always there for you guys
September 18 at 9:40pm

My Reply - This is not about me my friends and thank you I know you are there and have been of great help when I needed it. My intent here was to share with you my experience with my sister who is terriably ill. I have noticed those that offer help and those that just give help. Soup kitchen,mentoring young people, coaching, helping at school are acts that we just do with being prompted for details. Just Help was the point. Do anything, most times people in need will not let you know.
September 19 at 6:54am

From CC - Couldn't agree with you more!
September 19 at 9:09am