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I was reflecting on this experience asking myself; have I ever been this persistent and diligent concerning my prayer? Have I ever cared this much to establish/re-establish my connection with the One, at times of my prayer? Unfortunately and humbly, no!
Even though, at times of distraction, I attempt to re-establish the connection a few times in a row; however, most of the time, after several unsuccessful attempts, I would “call it a night”, sufficing on the verbal aspect of my prayer. On the contrary, I would act much more diligently concerning my material life, when my material and/or my psychological benefit/pleasure is at stake!

In one of her essays “Reflections on the Right Use of School Studies in View of the Love of God”, Simone Weil discusses the indirect and important impacts of school studies on spiritual life. She also outlines that “attention” is not a “muscular effort”. The first time, I read an excerpt of this essay in the “Connecting with the Divine” lab on Ostadelahi-Inpractice.com

“Most often, we confuse attention with a kind of muscular effort. If we say to the students, ‘You must pay attention,’ we can see them frown with their eyebrows, hold their breath and contract their muscles. If after two minutes we ask them what they are paying attention to, they cannot respond. They are paying attention to nothing. They are not paying attention. They are contracting their muscles. We can expend this type of muscular effort in studies. Because it ends in fatigue, we get the impression of having worked. This is an illusion. Fatigue has no relationship to work. Work is useful effort, whether there is fatigue or not. This kind of muscular effort in studies is completely sterile, even when performed with good intentions.” Weil, Simone. Waiting On God Kindle Edition.

“The role of desire in our studies allows them to be preparation for the spiritual life. For desire, oriented toward God, is the only force capable of raising the soul. Or rather, God alone comes to possess and lift the soul, but only desire obliges God to descend. God only comes to those who ask God to come—those who ask often, for a long time and ardently. God cannot prevent Himself from coming to them. Attention is an effort, perhaps the greatest of all efforts, but it is a negative effort. By itself, it does not involve fatigue. When we feel fatigue, attention is nearly impossible, unless we have already had good practice.” Weil, Simone. Waiting On God Kindle Edition.