"EDDigest" via Rachel in Google Reader

sleepy

2009-11-21T19:33:33-08:00

Oy, I've been forgetting to write on here. Oops. :-/

Well, I'm officially on Thanksgiving break. I have a poop-ton of homework, so that's what I've been working on since yesterday. Hoping to get done before I go home (which will be Tuesday afternoon, I'm working Monday and Tuesday). We'll see.

Hmmm...what else. Weight hasn't changed since I started the thyroid pills, though I did (I think, *knocks on wood*) lose the three or so pounds I gained when I started them. My dad says it hadn't caught up to me yet and I was still gaining from the low thyroid. We'll see. Not extremely non-tired, but then again could be because of all the homework and whatnot. So far I am not impressed, levothyroxine!!!

xoxo
Tori

A more informed way

2009-11-21T18:07:30-08:00

This cheers me up. I am imagining a time in not too distant future where mental health care is more focused, less haphazard, and more effective:

Imaging, Genetics, and the science of psychotherapy

“There is a science to psychotherapy. To think that biological psychiatry would do away with psychosocial treatment is naïve. We'll do it in a more informed way.”

Lincoln University: Epic fail

2009-11-21T09:34:06-08:00

Lincoln University, a historically black college in southern Pennsylvania, has made the news recently for jumping on the now-mandatory "wellness" bandwagon. As reported in the Chronicle of Higher Education, Lincoln's version is to institute a policy of weighing and measuring all freshmen; those with BMIs over 30 are required to take a one-credit course called "Fitness for Life" sometime before they graduate.

This policy exemplifies the worst of what's wrong with the way we as a culture approach fitness, health, and wellness. Like so many other institutions jumping on this bandwagon, Lincoln makes a fatal error in logic: It conflates weight with fitness.

So heavier freshmen at Lincoln are assumed to be "unfit" and "unhealthy." Just as bad, thinner freshmen are given a pass on the fitness course, the assumption being that they don't need it because they're not that fat.

If fitness and good health are the goals, shouldn't everyone have to take the course?

Some people object to the fitness course on libertarian grounds. Not me. I think good health and fitness is part of what we should be teaching children and practicing ourselves. But threatening or punishing larger people because of their size is not a useful strategy. As a researcher from the National Institutes of Health said recently, the number-one cause of obesity in this country is dieting. Programs like this buy in to the fat-is-unhealthy mindset. They also buy in to the thin-is-healthy mindset. By conflating weight with disease they do everyone a grave disservice.

My own school, Syracuse University, is looking at "wellness" programs right now. I hope I don't have to write a piece like this about SU someday.

Surrounded By Love

2009-11-20T15:29:00-08:00

I've been missing here for almost a week. My emotions are everywhere, and so much has taken place since I last posted. First of all, my grandpa passed away last week. That wasn't really all that emotional. We were not close. After my parents divorced when I was eight, my dad's side of the family fell away. They did not stay in contact, even though we still resided in the same city. I struggled with whether or not to attend the visitation. I knew that my dad would be there, and I had broken ties with him ten years ago. He was a drug addict and alcoholic, and always very narcissistic and self serving. He never payed child support, and yet, always drove the latest Corvette. I did end up going to the visitation with my husband and children. My dad was there, and he cried, and went on and on about how he had changed. He credits his fiance' with helping him to turn his life around, calling her an "angel." Well, we were never enough to give him reason to turn his life around. He never once asked me how I was doing, a week has passed, and he has yet to call me. I'm not really surprised, but it still hurts, and I'm taken aback by the anger. It has come out towards everyone but him, because , as usual, he's not around to even get angry with.
I walked out of my therapy session on Wednesday. We were talking about the AA meetings, and how much I hate them. She insisted that I need more outside support than she could give, and I argued that I don't need group support. I ended up walking out, and then called her and said that I was done with therapy and my nutritionist. We talked later on that night, and worked everything out, but I still feel so much anger, with nowhere to direct it towards. I am finished with AA though. It is just way too religious for me. I'm really private with my faith, and feel like it is a very personal relationship that I don't want to share with others. Tomorrow I am going to a different addiction support group called SOS, or Secular Organizations for Sobriety. It " maintains that sobriety is a separate issue from religion or spirituality. SOS credits the individual for achieving and maintaining his or her own sobriety, without reliance on any "Higher Power." I hope that I will feel more comfortable in these meetings, even though I'm still not convinced that I need group support.
I'm doing horrible when it comes to food and the eating disorder. I'm continuing to lose weight, which is very triggering in and of itself. I'm actually hanging on to the E.D. for dear life at the moment. The less I eat, the less appetite I have. My hunger cues are non existent. Today I have managed to drink some orange juice, and only because I was light headed. Food just doesn't feel safe. I'm overwhelmed with feelings, and without the eating disorder to help reign them in, I don't know where I would be. Thanksgiving is going to be hard. It is too much food to even contemplate! I miss my mom and my step dad, and I'm looking forward to their visit during the Christmas holiday's. I need to feel surrounded by love.

Yet Another Post-Travel Lamentation

2009-11-20T17:07:27-08:00

I know I have a lot to say about this past week, but I'm having a hard time organizing my thoughts right now. In some ways the conference was great (professionally, intellectually, etc, very exciting). As far as behaving like a normal person with eating/exercise, not so much. I think maybe this experience has been an eye-opener for me on things I really do still need to work on.

Good: After the first day, my anxiety was much less, which was good because I could actually focus on the material, etc. Bad: The shadow to that, however, is the reason my anxiety was less. I basically fell into a "comfortable" pattern of restricting. I managed to get about half my normal exercise time in (fortunately my roommate went out every evening, giving me time to myself at the hotel), but overcompensated with calorie-cutting, and once I was in that mode I seemed to settle down. It was like once I proved to myself that "yes, you can indeed restrict, this is easy for you and you won't gain weight," I was much better. I know that is NOT healthy in any way, shape, or form and of course am not advocating starvation as a method to control anxiety. It sucks, makes you disconnected, ruins the point of trying to do fun things, etc. Please don't see this as a pro-post, because any ostensible "benefits" are definitely short term. Smoking cigarettes eases anxiety too, after all. I guess I'm just processing through why I seem to slip back into it so easily. Obviously, if it did not "work" for me in some way, however disordered and counterproductive in the long run, I would not have been stuck in this cycle for 10 years now.

I had my first appointment with a new dietitian last week, so this week I was supposed to be keeping a food log. I guess I am a little strange, because I count calories obsessively but focus on a budget for each meal, not so much on the entire day. And I count some fruits but not others. All of which goes to show that it does tend to be more about control and the ritual than anything else, in some ways. So anywho, because I eat the same cals for each meal each day it is simple arithmetic to get a daily total, but for some reason I rarely think about that. That background leads up to this: when I was doing some frenzied calculations to see what I had to do to "make up" for the missed exercise, I realized that if I subtract my calories expended every day from my total intake, what is left is lower than my BMR. That is not healthy. And, frankly, it took me by surprise. I eat roughly the recommended amount for someone my age and height, so I tell myself I'm doing well, but that recommendation doesn't take extra exercise into account. I already knew my BMR, I can recite the formula from memory and do the math in my head. And of course I know how many cals I burn in exercise each day, I measure my workouts by expenditure rather than time/distance. But I had never really put two and two together (or, I guess, taken two from two).

Anyway, after four days of that mess, I am utterly drained and have had massive headache all day today. This is not functional, and I cannot afford not to be functional. More on this later. I am trying to treat this week as yet another instance of learning things the hard way, so I can do better next time. How many times have I told myself that?

I really wish I had some kind of "therapy on demand" service. We need an App for that! I really needed to talk to C. this week. The thing is, she has told me repeatedly that I can call/e-mail her if I ever need to, but I really am just afraid of seeming clingy and needy, so I never take her up on it. Especially now that my treatment options are up in the air, I don't want to risk becoming dependent on something like that if I'm going to have to stop seeing her next month.

I'm sorry this is not such an uplifting post, I'll try to have something more substantial soon.

EDIT

Ok I was worried the mention of subBMR intake could be triggering. I only leave it in to illustrate that even if you exercise like a maniac, an ED will lower your metabolism substantially until you quit the behaviors. Obviously if I was below my actual BMR all the time I wouldn't have been able to gain weight over the last year, although it does explain why I'm still underweight despite being at the highest cal intake I've had for a very long time. The take-home is that the standard BMR calculation (which is meant to be the energy it takes just for basic organ function and existence, no activity, not even digestion) is based on a normal healthy person, and an ED will change your system to alter your baseline, although it is indeed reversible. In a nutshell: it is not OK or healthy to have an intake below your standard BMR, even if your actual current BMR is lower due to restriction/exercise/being underweight. Unless, I suppose, you are some special case with doctor approval, but I can't conjure a feasible example of that off the top of my head. And really those calculations are just ballparks, you could very well have higher needs than what the standard formula will give you, every body is unique. Ok this disclaimer is going to be longer than the actual post if I don't cut off the rambling here.

Show & Tell: "Hope"

2009-11-20T15:34:17-08:00

Here is the third piece of artwork in my Calling All Art! Show & Tell and Giveaway. This piece is by Jonny and is called "Hope."[click for a larger view]This graphic arts piece speaks for itself.Well done, Jonny! I love the color of this piece, because it really does give a feeling of hope. The words are well chosen, the background is peaceful, and the face of the girl in the piece isn't really

Oprah to mauling victim: Blind? Disfigured? At least you won’t get fat

2009-11-20T13:01:38-08:00

You’ve heard of the Connecticut woman who was mauled by a 200-pound chimpanzee, right? Charla Nash, 65, was visiting a friend last February when her friend’s pet chimp attacked her, tearing off her nose, lips, eyelids and hands before being shot dead by cops. Nash later lost her eyes to infection and her facial disfigurement [...]

A cycle of anxiety, craving, and overconsumption

2009-11-20T09:12:39-08:00

I have blogger's remorse for my earlier rant, so I'm pairing it with some hopeful information in understanding why dieting is not a good idea, AND an alternative:

"Food might not be addictive on its own, but prohibiting it can set off a cycle of anxiety, craving, and overconsumption that for all purposes looks like addiction."

Is Newsweek’s cover of Palin in short shorts sexist?

2009-11-20T09:12:39-08:00

Even I was kind of shocked by Newsweek’s cover this week of Sarah Palin — not for the image used, which on first glance seemed both puzzling and irrelevant, but for the blatantly biased headline of “How do you solve a problem like Sarah? She’s bad news for the GOP — and for everybody else, [...]

Where outrage lives

2009-11-20T08:55:05-08:00

Why don't I join the fray of outrage over Kate Moss saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?"

Because I don't care. I find the opinions and actions and health of models irrelevant to eating disorder activism. What DOES concern me is a tragic over-valuing of the role of the media and a conflation of what that world does to healthy people (not good) and the symptoms we see in the mentally ill.

Modelling surely does attract and exploit very tall thin pretty people, and does cause slightly less naturally tall thin pretty people to do unnatural things to compete with the former, and without a doubt attracts lots of people whose mental illnesses make those unnatural behaviors a resume-plus.

But the attraction to modelling, and to staring at and comparing oneself to models, is a symptom. That fascination is a symptom of a silly and self-destructive part of modern life for otherwise mentally healthy people. The compulsion, however, is a symptom, for some people of mental illness. Symptom, and not cause.

Home improvement magazines and household cleaner advertisements do not cause OCDs. They attract those WITH these brain patterns. For the rest of us, we just struggle to keep up appearances or suffer fits of dismay at how we fall short. People whose brains are healthy are usually able to distinguish a sales pitch from realistic house management.

When Martha Stewart shares her tips for homemade lemon cleanser we all know she has a staff to think this stuff up and do it for her. OCD advocates don't call for her head because of her unreasonably tidy TV studio. When a model professes a devotion to thinness we should know that that is what she is paid to do and be and that this set of values are the only reason she blights our news feeds and screens. The fashion industry doesn't cause eating disorders, it exploits them and the mentally healthy who try to live on green salads and cleansing fasts in pursuit of thinness.

We should refuse to care what purveyors of self-mockery say or do and expend our outrage on the maddeningly unhelpful comments of those who really should know better: those speaking of eating disorders as if they are just incorrect thinking and mistaken priorities. This approach strikes me as terribly cruel to patients and undervalues THEIR heroism and hard work to recover.

Food: problem and solution

2009-11-19T21:30:18-08:00

I just noticed this little magnetic notepad that is hanging on the side of my computer. I remember picking it up several years ago at a NEDA conference because I needed to write something down when I was near the exhibit booths. So I picked up the notepad and ultimately stuck it to my computer when I got home. And there it has stayed. I neither thought about it or really used it since.

Today, however, I was on hold and found myself staring at this little notepad, which said:

Food is not the problem, therefore it can never be the solution.

I confess, I'm a little stymied by this. To say that food isn't the problem for someone with an eating disorder strikes me a vaguely ridiculous. Of course food is a problem- either you can't eat enough, or you can't stop eating. Food isn't necessarily at the root of an eating disorder, any more than being sad is at the root of depression. It's our attitude towards food, and our ability to consume and digest appropriate amounts of it that ultimately are the problem.

To some degree, I have found food to be the solution to my eating disorder. Eating is not a cure, not by a long shot. But re-learning how to eat and maintain a healthy body weight has been one of the big challenges of recovery. The rest of recovery--coping skills, emotions, therapy--doesn't mean a whole lot if you haven't addressed the eating part of the eating disorder.

I was always told that my eating disorder wasn't about the food. I'm realizing now that my eating disorder was about the food. It wasn't solely about the food, as a lot of my anorexia had to do with my anxiety and fears around food, as well as perfectionism, etc. Not that clinicians should focus on the food to the exclusion of everything else, but you have to start somewhere.

(On a side note, the other phrase from treatment that still makes me cringe is "fat is not a feeling." Fat is too a feeling--a physical feeling. It's not an emotion, but you can, in fact, feel fat.)

I understand that food (whether consuming it or restricting it or purging it) will never be a solution to emotional problems. I've learned that the hard way. But to say that food isn't a problem, period, and food isn't part of the solution seems a little ludicrous when it comes to eating disorders.

How do you interpret this notepad? What do you think?

30% Off Beyond Yoga Online Purchases

2009-11-19T14:56:00-08:00

One of the biggest body image dilemmas women encounter during pregnancy and after childbirth is the question of what to wear. No matter how excited you might be about the prospect of becoming a mom, outgrowing sizes can lead to a lot of appearance-related insecurity. It's not always easy to find affordable maternity wear and "transition" pieces, not to mention that saying good-bye to certain go-to wardrobe items can be an emotionally draining process.

Mourning the loss of too-small-to-squeeze-into-'em pieces and obsessing over "getting your body back" when everything else around you is moving forward can be a real drag. That's why we outlined our maternity and new mom style essentials in Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat? They are all based on letting go of the idea that something is wrong with you if you don't fit into your old clothes. It's those clothes that don't fit your new life.

In the spirit of celebrating all the style possibilities that exist if we can get beyond this unhealthy fixation with prebaby bodies, we've partnered with Beyond Yoga to offer 30% off all online purchases for our readers. Just enter the code PREGGY at checkout (sale and charity items do not apply). Shop online before November 30th!

There is no replacement for food

2009-11-19T11:53:25-08:00

New study establishes that fructose and sorbital cause more gastric distress in ED patients than other people. Diet foods, of course, are a great source of both fructose and sorbital.

Eating disorder patients often become manic gum chewers, and you may also remember that chewing gum with sorbital has been associated with gastro problems and severe weight loss.

So many things parents need to know as they try to help loved ones recover!

Taking the diet out of “diet foods”

2009-11-19T08:15:10-08:00

I'm sitting at my favorite local indie coffeehouse staring at a large plate of cottage cheese and fresh fruit atop a bed of leafy greens paired with a side of steaming spiced apples and wishing I had my camera because the presentation is as much artistic as it is yummy. That its menu is vegetarian-friendly is one of the reasons why I love this coffeehouse so much, but despite its array of veggie offerings, I sometimes find myself craving the delicious synergy of pineapple and large curd cottage cheese. Cottage cheese has gotten a bum rap in the past few decades. For too many, its pebblelike curds suspended in a milky mixture conjures up images of diet food or maybe food for the old and senile. There's even a cottage cheese fad diet that guarantees weight loss if you only eat it straight for one week. I always find the association of cottage cheese as diet food a bit amusing considering that during my eating disorder days, I decided it way too high-cal to eat and labeled it a "bad" food. Salad, another diet food dismissal and a personal favorite, also seems to get no respect. As I sit here alternating between typing and downing forkfuls of cheese curds, I wonder about other foods considered to be worthy of consumption only when in the pursuit of weight loss. Are there any "diet foods" that you like and have reclaimed as part of your non-diet diet?

Classifying eating disorders, part one

2009-11-18T21:48:02-08:00

I used to think that eating disorders were an extreme diet (this was a very long time ago). I thought there were people who didn't diet, people who dieted, and people with eating disorders, all arrayed on a nice little continuum, one blending seamlessly into the next. I've since learned that scholars are still considering this question, albeit in a more academic, less hand-waving sort of way.

Eating disorders are currently classified into three major categories: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and eating disorder- not otherwise specified. What we don't know is whether these categories are just humanity's attempts to corral people with eating disorders into three categories, or if these are, in fact, three different eating disorders. Nor do we know if eating disorders are dimensional (ie, they exist along a continuum) or they are taxonic (ie, they have their own category, sort of like humans are a separate species from chimps. We don't have a human-chimp continuum, the behavior of several of my relatives notwithstanding). Perhaps a better analogy would be the difference between a light on a dimmer switch (dimensional model) and a light with an on/off switch (taxonic model). The methods for determining the difference between these use a lot of advanced mathematical models and some really fancy words--I'm not especially concerned in understanding precisely how the determination is made. Rather, I intend to look at whether we can make a distinction, and what that distinction is.

Like many new ideas in science, there is evidence in favor of both views. So let's start with a brief review of the evidence.

Eating disorders are dimensional

Thus far, one study has evidence that restricting anorexia exists along a continuum with "normal eating," although this study also found that bulimia and binge eating disorder do not exist along a continuum (Gleaves et al, 2000a). Perhaps one of the reason why restricting anorexia didn't appear quantitatively different from "normal eating" has to do with the prevalence of dieting behavior, which is more common than not in the college students surveyed in the study. In general, dieters have higher scores on the restraint/weight subsection of the EDI-2, but have similar psychopathology scores as non-dieters (Lowe et al, 1996), which really helps muddy the waters.

Interestingly, the Gleaves study found that the binge/purge subtype of anorexia was much closer to bulimia nervosa than the restricting subtype of anorexia, indicating that binge eating and purging is, in fact, taxometric, whereas restrictive behaviors are more dimensional.

When looking at nonbehavioral eating disorder symptoms (such as fear of fatness, obsession with food/calories), researchers failed to find any sort of eating disordered category, which would indicate that yes, indeed, eating disorders exist along a continuum (Tylka and Subich, 2003). A more recent study, building on this one, found that although eating disordered thoughts are common among people without clinical eating disorders, eating disordered behaviors are rather uncommon (Miller, Vaillancourt, and Hanna, 2009), which has implications on what, precisely, is measured on future studies.

Eating disorders are taxometric

The evidence for both binge eating disorder and bulimia nervosa seem to indicate that these disorders exist as their own categories; that is, either you have them or you don't (Lowe et al, 1996, Gleaves et al, 2000a, Gleaves et al, 2000b). Of course, a diagnosis is rarely as simple as one of those notes you likely received in sixth grade that said "Do you like me? Check yes or no."* There are lots of issues still to be worked out, not the least of which is where do we draw the line?

Perhaps one of the most interesting studies found a middle of the road for this discussion: some eating disorder symptoms existed on a continuum, and some, such as binge eating, fear of fatness/compensatory behaviors, and drive for extreme thinness, did not (Williamson et al, 2003).

Conclusion

At this point, the only consensus on the issue of eating disorder taxometry is the need for more research. Preliminary evidence suggests that bulimia and binge eating disorders are discrete symptoms; the evidence is less suggestive for restrictive anorexia. That being said, eating disordered thoughts are quite common, even if the behaviors are not, which could have significant implications on what is measured and studied in the future.

With the upcoming (and much-heralded) publication of the DSM-V in several years, these seemingly esoteric ideas could have a large impact on how we diagnose, treat, and prevent eating disorders.

Coming tomorrow: Classifying eating disorders, part two (What's temperament got to do with it?)

*Full disclosure: I neither sent nor received any of these notes.

Harmony Place – A Unique Adolescent ED Program

2009-11-18T10:51:32-08:00

It’s uplifting to see the continuation and commitment towards treating and caring for those suffering with eating disorders, along with supporting and educating the families involved in their loved ones care.

Harmony Place licensed by the state office of Mental Health is the first residential program in the state of New York to open and work specifically with adolescent girls and boys ages 12-17 providing an additional resource for families vs sending their children out of state:

Harmony Place at St. Joseph’s Villa is the first program in New York State to provide residential treatment exclusively for adolescents struggling with eating disorders. Located on the suburban St. Joseph’s Villa campus in Rochester, N.Y.,

Harmony Place provides treatment and support for up to eight girls and boys, ages 12 to 17, who have had chronic difficulty maintaining recovery through medical inpatient and outpatient programs.

During the 4-6 week stay, a highly structured environment, evidence-based approaches and a caring, specialized staff help partici¬pants regain stability over their illness. Family involvement is a critical component of the program, empowering parents with the skills and understanding needed to help their teen achieve long-term recovery at home.

HARMONY PLACE program features:

-Round-the-clock supervision, with daily medical monitoring

-Safe, structured, therapeutic environment designed for adolescents

-Licensed nurses, board-certified psychiatrists, psychologists, masters-level therapists and dieticians
-Utilizes the Maudsley-Informed approach to re-feeding, on-site emphasizing family therapy, education and hands-on meal preparation

-20 + hours mandatory group therapy and 8+ hours individual & family therapy weekly

-Ability to address co-occurring disorders like chemical dependency, anxiety and depression

-Two-hours academic tutoring per school day
-Three months support following discharge

Post discharge there is a 90day follow up so that patients and families have the proper support they need to help within the transition.

For further information please contact Helena Boersma at St Joseph’s Villa 1.877.520.2667

Guest Blogger Michal: To be or not to be a mother

2009-11-18T07:54:31-08:00

Reader Michal picked up on my oh, so subtle childless-by-choice vibes here and wrote to tell me about an awesome project she's working on called "Motherhood Schmotherhood," which examines "women deciding whether, and when, to have kids, and the pressures they face from their families, peers, and society at large." The project consists of a one-hour documentary -- view the site and trailer here -- and a blog that features webisodes and contributions from others similarly undecided on motherhood. The question of motherhood is a decision most, if not all, women encounter at some point in their lives and the outcome is often a deeply personal one influenced by social, cultural, ethnic, religious, political and biological factors and circumstances. Michal so graciously agreed to guest blog about her personal struggles on motherhood and invites you to also weigh in on your own experiences in the decision to be or not to be a mother.

Passport? Check! Car keys? Nein!

2009-11-18T04:37:01-08:00

I recently received invitations to speak at conferences in London and Salzburg next year. I used to be a travel agent and still enjoy travel, but I never drive overseas. And who can blame me? In London they drive on the left and in Austria they drive indoors!

Salzburg Congress Conference Room

Seriously, if you live near London or Salzburg, I'd love to meet you. Come to EDIC or ICED! Or both. But drive carefully.

hand-turkeys.

2009-11-17T07:53:37-08:00

Bring on the season of food, giving, and giving food.

In my Great Depression of Tuesday, November 17, I reminisced over a Thanksgiving that happened maybe 3 years ago? I don’t have it in me to recall the exact year. Regardless, I remember crying to a friend that morning about my hatred and fear for the holiday and everything that came with it. The food (no, seriously), the family and the endless number of reasons I didn’t want to be in the same room as them that year (nothing personal, guys, try to remember me 3 years ago.. or don’t), the general building anxiety over things that may or may not have been true. It was awful.

Jump ahead 3 years: I’m so down for a day revolving around food, not to mention Gramma’s sweet potatoes with roasted marshmellows. Aaaaaaand, I’ve got a few surprises up my sleeve for this year and I’m pretty excited about. I’m kind of proud of myself, not gonna lie.

The unfortunate truth, however, is that the aforementioned Thanksgiving – and many before that – are the type of Thanksgivings that it seems the majority* of the American population are facing this year, eating disorder or otherwise. Between eating disorders, family, the overwhelming stress of entertaining and prep work, threatened (not necessarily ED) diets, and finances (to name a few), it’s rather rare that this holiday come sans anxiety.

With that, I think that it is extremely important for people to have a support system around this time of year. For some, that support system may not be within the family, especially when that can be the main trigger for stress. Hopefully, everyone has at least one person – friend or family – that they can talk with if they’re struggling. Even so, there are some times that people need to talk to someone completely removed from the situation.

This holiday season (and whenever), if you need support or just someone to vent to, I’m here for whoever, whenever. If you know me personally, you know I’m the friend who’s phone is on 24/7 and will legitimately answer at all hours of the night, if need be. At least one person reading this can totally vouch for that. While I’m not going to post my cell number for the world to contact me, I check my e-mail almost as often and would be more than happy to help in any way I can.

emilysamr@gmail.com

Here’s to the holidays. Because, seriously, they ain’t so bad.

*not an official statistic.

Unfortunate Equation

2009-11-17T21:32:33-08:00

Undercutting calories + anxiety + barista that failed to decaf my venti Americano = heart palps + insomnia = long night ahead

At least caffeine highs do tend to lift my mood a little (better living through chemistry), which creates an interesting hybrid feeling of crappy + cheerful.