tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33865535828175758892026-03-23T09:03:18.676-04:00Eight Days to AmishNo Paychecks . . . No Prospects . . . Always How one writer struggles to elevate from the hammock, overcome his God-given laziness and earn a living in a cruel world that insists he work.
(The title of this blog is in no way aspirational or should be considered an endorsement of the Amish lifestyle)Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.comBlogger2209125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-77411487433361579302026-03-13T09:36:00.003-04:002026-03-13T09:36:55.812-04:00Our new national anthem should be "We Will Rock You!" The knee-jerk reaction to the 5 Iranian Women’s Soccer players who were granted Australian asylum is that they would be persecuted for not singing the Iranian National Anthem.I think with more nuance.Like maybe the song just sucks.These women must be enlightened by Iranian standards at least. Did you know Iranian women have enjoyed voting rights since 1963?I did not know that.I have to Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-64818174501585309352026-02-05T09:23:00.001-05:002026-02-05T09:27:21.462-05:00Through the years, the ol' heave ho It’s not something I’m proud of but there’s been a time or two when my drinking transgressions were so egregious bar employees have felt justified in giving me the ol’ heave ho. I’ll never forget the elderly bar prostitute’s mocking cackle.I went back a few years ago. They all remembered me. Said if I didn’t behave, they’d slip something in my drink that would cause me to be violently ill Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-22400538890082424722026-01-16T11:28:00.000-05:002026-01-16T11:28:09.910-05:00It's time for Body Function Olympics We’ll soon be hearing about lots of Olympians competing with guts and heart. If I had my way, there’d be an Olympics where the guts and hearts, etc. were the actual competitors.
I’m suggesting an Olympics to which we can all relate. I’m talking one that gives the gold medal for things like marathon bladder control, highest blood pressure and for overcoming daily grooming frustrations.
I’mChris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-68827537835839078412026-01-06T14:17:00.001-05:002026-01-06T16:33:08.572-05:00Pills making me astrological For most of my adult life, I rarely took so much as an aspirin. That changed in ’18 when I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.Today, I take five different pills four times a day for a total of 10 pills.I’d right up front here tell you all their multi-syllabic names but the names are so uniformly intimidating they’ll make your head hurt and I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt your head when Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-2857939634407176852025-12-31T10:52:00.000-05:002025-12-31T10:52:01.981-05:00Best "tweets" of 2025 Call me old-fashioned, but a tweet to me will always be 140 characters. Note, I didn't say 140 words. I said 140 characters. The original tweets would not let you Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-36437953491977093302025-12-04T12:12:00.002-05:002025-12-05T08:51:52.037-05:00I'd fallen and could not get up ... Part II (1,211 words)
I was about 5 hours into my 9-hour ordeal when I began to wonder if I was on track to break my inert endurance record.
Merriam-Webster defines “inert” as “Lacking the power to move; an inert and lifeless body.”
The previous record was achieved some time in, oh, 1987, at a bar called The Junction in Athens, Ohio.
My inertness began at noon and ended at 2 o’clock — and Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-53356950382424032882025-11-28T17:16:00.004-05:002025-12-08T08:09:33.737-05:00I'd fallen & could not get up -- for 9 hours! Parts I & 2 1,124 wordsIt began to dawn on me the fourth time the EMTs said no, they meant business: they were not going to allow me to drive the ambulance.A more intuitive patient would have sensed this when he realized they’d strapped him to a gurney the way guards secured ol’ Doc Lechter when he asked if they had a spare can of fava beans.It was 6:30 a.m. last Wednesday and we were on our way to theChris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-44456615002043734432025-06-18T11:44:00.000-04:002025-06-18T11:44:16.848-04:00Cheer up fellow Earthlings! We're the best damn planet in the solar system We’re so disposed to reveling in our petty nationalist rivalries, we’re failing to see the big picture: We’re light years ahead of every other planet in every quality of life category there is.
Enjoy ice cream? Then don’t try and eat any on Mercury, the nearest planet to the Sun. It’s 810-degrees there, a temperature which incinerates ice cream in less time than it takes to get the cone Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-71032062541048158622025-06-04T16:18:00.000-04:002025-06-04T16:18:30.938-04:00Another Biblical typo: It should be "crossifaction," not "crucifixion"In my maniacal quest to rid the world of historical typos I’ve found another and it too is Biblical. You might remember the last one was Yeaster instead of Easter.I did this based on the grounds that no one’s ever heard of an Easter. There is ni such thing. But yeast is a common kitchen ingredient widely used to make things — things like bread/slain Saviors —rise. The next one is obvious, but Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-39092964142807918352025-06-01T17:47:00.018-04:002025-07-07T15:26:13.288-04:00"How to Deal With the Stuff That Sucks" reviews I am taken aback by the cruel reaction to my new book, the one that is about the most physically and emotionally painful episodes from my entire life.My friends think it’s hysterical.Risky spinal surgery? Uproarious.Spiritual crisis? Hilarious.Marital woes? Comical.Unfortunate bladder capacity? A laugh riot.Contending with Parkinson’s? Wildly amusing.It’s all there in “(The Art of Living Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-46395636508784242382025-04-24T15:54:00.001-04:002025-04-25T07:08:14.457-04:00Read this, then share, donate. Especially you, Elon!You won’t hear them extolling its virtues on Wall Street, but the greatest economic system conceived by man isn’t capitalism, socialism, feudalism or any of the other nasty isms that make the old butt cheeks tighten up.
No, it’s the one that’s so simple even kindergarteners get it.
You’ve likely participated in it without ever even having paid attention to it.
It’s so simple, so direct, Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-86534776292211535372025-04-07T15:24:00.006-04:002025-04-07T16:46:12.873-04:00"Go Fund Me" resumption: Why now? Why me? Why not?
When I in March unveiled my GoFundMe page, I did so because I believed I needed the whole world for my book to succeed. Now early reviews of “How to Deal With Things That Suck,” and a maelstrom of news events has me convinced I had it backward.
I don’t need the world.
The world needs me.
Really, who's in worse shape?
Audacious, yes. But is the premise true? Let’s on this day have that Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-86776297857075614592025-03-17T09:31:00.001-04:002025-03-17T10:17:59.007-04:00Baggin' it: my Parkinson's and the kind-hearted stranger Parkinson’s update: My left arm shakes to the point of uselessness whenever I’m under duress like, for instance, in the self-checkout aisle at the Giant Eagle. It’s stressful because shoppers treat it like they're participants in an Olympic event. So there I am struggling under the glare of hyper-efficient shoppers who appear eager to bag me. Just as I’m about to cry a woman emerges from Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-76558566947734187232025-03-10T16:02:00.003-04:002025-03-11T07:39:16.802-04:00America needs to hear the Lance Cowan story The Lance Cowan story isn’t just one of the best stories in country music. It’s one of the best stories in the country itself. It’s a story of devotion, patience, self-belief, humility and a recognition so long overdue it seems like a cultural crime.It’s not a story about making petulant demands. It doesn’t whine about how it was treated unfairly. It doesn’t want to punch anyone in the Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-19659954570865316452025-03-03T13:23:00.000-05:002025-03-03T13:23:52.834-05:00Result's of last week's 5-hour surgery: ALL positive I suppose it’d be safe to say after three nights in the hospital and a five hour surgery that my back problems are all behind me.
But that reaction might be either a bit rosy and open to anatomical confusion.
Think about it.
Aren’t even future back problems all behind us and can the back ever be described the front?
I’ll try and come back to this.
Let’s Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-14716624756583100062025-02-24T17:08:00.002-05:002025-02-25T10:33:07.981-05:00Wednesday I'm scheduled for a 6 hour operation; obviously the Doc is not a golfer I’m getting my back operated on Wednesday at Montefiore Hospital in Pittsburgh. I have many concerns, foremost being it could be a really elaborate hoax. If everyone is in on the joke, how will I know they even operated? I’m 62 years old and have never once laid eyes on the part of the body — my own goddamned body — where they said they’ll be making the incision.There’s a reason the Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-81267103829005792882025-02-20T09:39:00.000-05:002025-02-20T09:39:50.607-05:00Seeking Go Fund Me donations: Why now? Why me? Why not?The venerable Washington Post lost $77 million in 2023. I read that and felt an unseemly flush of superiority over the brainy conglomerate that runs the place.I lost way, way less than that — and I’m all alone by myself!Still, the twin losses are indicative of the fiscal perils for those of us who seek to make money telling stories. For years, supporters have urged me to try a Go Fund Me Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-61755384339179444752024-12-09T13:48:00.003-05:002024-12-09T13:49:55.286-05:00Our homes are way too clean I’ve been witness to the phenomenon in the cities and the country and I’ve come to conclude our greatest untapped source of natural clean energy is cleaner energy. I’m talking about all the energy that is created and spent by people obsessed with cleaning things that are already perfectly clean.Cleaner energy is all the time, strategizing and horse power anal retentive home owners Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-7850454299571653232024-11-05T14:54:00.003-05:002024-11-05T15:37:17.953-05:00And today in DC, an Asian elephant named Kamala is dead It pains me to on this day, this day of all days, to inform it's time to mourne the death of Kamala.And by “we,” I mean partisans on both sides because Kamala made a big impact.How could she do otherwise?The old babe weighed more than 3 tons. Cause of death?I’ll not fault those of you who are betting it was obesity.But, no, this Kamala was euthanized. Osteoarthritis had put the Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-82433683884983046772024-10-21T12:55:00.000-04:002024-10-21T12:55:05.730-04:00A Latrobe guy considers what Trump said about Palmer Arnold Palmer was in the news this weekend.
Well, part of him was in the news.
For you innocents out there, I’m referring to his genitalia. One of the two major party candidates for the office of U.S. president talked about Palmer’s penis as if it were the club he carried with him where ever he went.
Care to take a wild guess as to which candidate broached the subject?
It caused a Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-26734727733462706722024-10-11T09:59:00.002-04:002024-10-11T09:59:34.530-04:00I answer your Tin Lizzy FAQs First of all, I’m not a paid spokesperson for the Tin Lizzy so you can take my word that what I’m about to tell you is genuine. Having said that, I confess to every time I get my PA driver’s license renewed I for reasons I can not explain add another fraudulent inch to my height.My license says I’m 5’11. I’m actually 5’7.My goal is to live long enough to possess a license that says I’m 6’2.Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-54562324114931885092024-10-03T09:26:00.002-04:002024-10-03T09:26:43.240-04:00Meeting a writer? Be very afraidHas this ever happened to you? Someone tells you they write books and you’re not sure how to react. Here’s a tip: Be very afraid. You’ve just met a person of ruthless determination. That person stares down one blank page and vows, “I’m going to fill this vast emptiness with so much compelling and original thought that readers I’ve never met will not only absorb every word, but they’ll Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-44833276970458698572024-09-20T09:38:00.005-04:002024-09-25T15:57:47.228-04:00AI & newborns: when change is inevitable (606 words)
There weren’t many but there were enough of them that I had the sarcastic retort holstered and ready to be drawn.
It was 24 years ago and Val was about to deliver our first baby. We were unaware of the sex, but in what is now one of the lamest “Spoiler alerts!” that child was a female, born September 25, 2000. We named her Joslyn Rachel Rodell.
But right up to the moment she Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-52214723869424769732024-06-10T08:01:00.000-04:002024-06-10T08:01:16.985-04:00Latrobe Bulletin readers select favorite Local Author: It's me! Thank you, Latrobe Bulletin readers for selecting me as your Favorite Local Author! Here's the letter-to-the-editor I wrote acknowledging the honor ... -- << >Chris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3386553582817575889.post-69571675061484660472024-06-01T08:10:00.000-04:002024-06-01T08:10:05.334-04:00May tweets (sorta) of the month (May) Remember when tweets used to be limited to 140 characters. Some of these are 140 words. I like being free to write what I feel but we're missing something. Not much, but something ...Enjoy your weekend!• Was looking forward to a rare night at home with just me and soon-to-be graduate when plans abruptly changed. It was not to be. So I was surprised to see her walking through the door askingChris Rodellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01353239648668139877noreply@blogger.com0