life painting♥♥♥

enjoy,

2015-12-16T01:01:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum,

haiii hehe datang balikkk dia niii haha haritu private jap sebab erm konflik dalaman sikit hehe pastu rindu blog public balik pastu nanti ada konflik lagi kite private lagi hahaha last post haritu bulan 10 ke? ermmm rasa cam lama sangat dah tinggal tapi baru 2 bulan ermmmm harini dah separuh disember dah eeeeeee cepatnya masaaaaaa nak 2016 dahhh lepastu pejam celik nangis gelak bangun tido tetibe dah 2017 yeayyyy kawennn hehehe inshaAllah kalau dipanjangkan umur heee :D

kayyy cerita sepanjang bulan oktober november disember. tak menarik pon. tapi yang menariknya ialah prinsip konon konon stalking october, happying november, enjoying december. hehehe gedik je tuuu. nov haritu konvo lagi heee alhamdulillah tapi sama je pakai jubah purple jugak haha takde beza sangat pastu ni last week baru balik dari holidayyyy pergi gold coast hikkk. besttt siap ada #dyanahavingfun lagi hahaha gedikkkkkk biar aaaaaaaa. tapi kan spoiled gilaaa first night tu mimpi hm pastu esok pagi cam eeeee asal mimpi tuuu lepastu sedihhhh wuuuwuuu spoiled. maybe sebab pernah bagitau kot nak pergi holiday obersea tapi rasanya tak sempat bgtau pegi mana pon haha dulu masa gi langkawi pon camtu gak first night nangissssssss hahaha tah papeeeee dyanaaa. tapi yang lagi sedihnya bila balik sini rasa macam tak beli papeeeeee untuk diri sendiri eeeeeeee rasa nak terbang pergi australia balikkk beli bantal baru ke ennn ganti monyet lembik tu ke haha gerammm tapiii ada satu benda yang memang dah lama aku nakkk aku dapat beli kat sana haha tapi sebenarnya harga dia jauh lagi mahal wey tapi takpela makde belanja hihihi impian jadi kenyataan hehe banyak kali mintakk tak dapat dapat pastu plan nak beli sendiri lepastu tetibe gi australia dapatt hikkk k enjoying december dah halfway dah ni. lg 15 hari je nak masuk tahun baru. kene plan something!!! letsssssssss do thissssss. k up gambar sikittt. byeeeee.


alhamdulillah setahun ulang alik puchong-bangi nangis hari hari worth it! :')

paradise country, kangaroo mrajok ngan kite :p

movie world, jumpa kartun pastu main yang kanak kanak punya je haha :D

seaworld!

skypoint, tengok view gold coast from level 77th

surfers paradise!

maksuuuuuuuuu, sayang!

k dah pernah naik tram hehehe haritu dengar orang sebut je :p

echa makde sara kite maksu zikri :)

echaaa, excited nak gi gold coast!

goodbye gold coast, surely i'll meet you again someday inshaAllah with ♥

okayyy habis dah cukup la tuuu. thank you makde belanje kite hehehe nanti gi mane pulak lepasni hihi semua tempat yang aku dah pegi semua berangan nak datang lagi lepasni dengan suami n anak anak soon inshaAllah hehe ok bye!

closure,

2015-09-21T00:13:00.001+08:00

"have a nice day"

like time suspended,

a wound unmended-

you and i.

we had no ending,

no said goodbye;

for all my life,

i'll wonder why.

tinggal,

2015-09-03T23:11:00.001+08:00

first iv went well. masalah jugak belajar tinggi. tak pandai pun lagi laaaaaaaaa masalah besar. hm duniaa. down nyaaaaaaa tiba tiba malam ni. rasa nak jadi suri rumah babysit anak orang je. boleh tak? hm semoga dipermudah dan dimurahkan rezeki diyana...

jom,

2015-08-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

lagu favourite lately ni. hari hari pulak dengar. best. sedih. esok 1 haribulan. selamat 1 haribulan. ingatkan bulan ni boleh wish, tapi...takpela. hujung bulan ni genap la setahun. tapi macam tak setahun sangat pun sebab on off je. hm, jom pergi jauh jom? i have to... bye.

sedih,

2015-08-14T00:12:00.001+08:00

sedih dengan diri sendiri. taktau la nak cakap macam mana. kadang kadang, bila pikir pikir balik, rasa macam diri ni banyak dipergunakan oleh orang sekeliling. sedih. baru sekarang aku paham peribahasa, "bila susah carik, bila senang tinggal". dulu, selalu macam, hm apa maksudnya eh? macam tak pernah pon rasa benda tu. faham tu faham la maksud dia, tp macam, tak nampak lagi benda tu. tapi sekarang, bila umur macam ni, semua benda dah nampak. macam macam peribahasa, yang aku boleh aplikasikan dalam kehidupan seharian. bila umur 23 ni la aku rasa aku baru kenal erti hidup. hm lambatnya matang kannn. sedih. aku pon sedih dengan diri aku. dengan masalah merendah diri sangat tu pon satu. cemane tah nak ubah, tak sukaaaaaaaa!!! huuuuu. sedih. tiba tiba terpikir, ramainya orang ambik kesempatan kat aku. bila susah, beriyaaaaaa carik nangis nangis mengadu, bila dah senang, jangan harap nak pandang pon tak. sedih weh. kenape la baru sekarang aku rasa benda tu? ke aku baru nampak semua tu? ntah la. eh ke aku je yang terasa? ntahhhh. tapi, memang nampak laaaaaaa, habis madu sepah dibuang bagai kacang lupakan kulit bila susah carik bila senang blah gitu je. huaaaaaaaaa. lepastu, bila umur camni, selalu terfikir. ada ke orang yang boleh terima aku seadanya? terima kekurangan aku, baik buruk aku. dah lahh aku ni membosankan. sangat membosankan pulak tu. bukan orang cakap, tapi aku mengaku sendiri. hm ntahla. ada ke? takut :(

something,

2015-08-11T23:30:00.003+08:00

If God doesn’t give you what you want, it isn’t what you need. When God takes something away from your grasp, He is not punishing you but merely emptying your hand to receive something better. There are some things in life that don’t go the way you want them to or the way you think they should, but you can’t dwell on these because you’ll miss out on other opportunities. Don’t give up one something just because you don’t think things will work, you won’t know unless you give it a try. But don’t hold onto something that left a long time ago, because sooner or later you’ll realize some things just aren’t meant to be.

mixed feelings :(

ending,

2015-08-04T10:58:00.001+08:00

*****
$ : belanja laaa polaroid
# : buat apaaa, takyah la. membazirrr
$ : alaaa dah lama dahhh nak tuuu
# : benda lain la. membazir la polaroid tu
$ : .......

*****
$ : suka tengok shakir dengan awek dia
# : kenal ke awek shakir?
$ : kenal laa. selalu stalk instagram twitter awek dia tu. sweet kann diorang
# : biar laa, tu cerita diorang. kite ada cerita kite sendiri
$ : .... (ambik phone # stalk instagram shakir haha)

*****
$ : rasanya kan, kalau ada buku pasal kita, mesti ramai yang belii
# : haha yeke? sape penulisnya? dyana?
$ : dyana laaaa. tapi sekarang macam taktau lagi ending dia cane haha

*****

betul. rasa macam nak tulis buku. daripada awal, sampai habis. tapi, panjang kot. banyak gak yang dah lupa agaknya haha kalau memang ada buku cerita tu, memang peh, bangga haha berangan. tapi tu la. nak tau, happy ending ke tak, baru boleh tuliss. cehh padahal boleh je start tulisss sekarang walaupun belum tahu ending dia. nanti bila dah siap tulis semua, masa tu mesti dah tahu dah ending diaaaa. confirm haha. happy ending disini ada dua maksud. first, adakah mereka akhirnya akan bahagia bersama dengan pasangan puppy love mereka? atau, second, adakah mereka akhirnya akan bahagia bersama dengan pasangan love after marriage mereka? hihi atau, dua dua tu pon boleh haha berangan. ok la, btw, july 31, 07:07 am, thanksss! :)

worth,

2015-07-29T13:31:00.001+08:00

email july 17, 07:28 pm haritu memang krik krik aaaaaa. menyesal haha maybe taknak bagi harapan dah kot...pikir tu je, bersangka baik...tapi sampai sekarang pun tunggu lagi huaaaaaaaa sedihnya hidup sayaaaaa. perero rocey ni pun ade je kat katil ni tak makan pun sebab memang tak suka pun so nak bagi siapaaa? tapi hakikatnya taknak bagi siapa siapa pun selain orang yang sepatutnya dapat hahaha tak sangka tahun lepas dekat international departures ke kat kfc tah tu la last bagi. sokkayy. hm hari hari pun sama je camni. sampai bila eh agaknya? penat aaa. agak agak worth tak? ntah, taktau. Dia je yang tau...

staring at the bottom of your glass,

hoping one day you'll make a dream last,

but dreams come slow,

and they go so fast...

without,

2015-07-28T00:46:00.000+08:00

Not a single day passed without,
thinking of you,

Not a single day passed without,
hoping to see you,

Not a single day passed without,
wondering whether you are alright,

Not a single day passed without,
praying that you would be safe,

Not a single day passed without,
hoping to walk with you, side by side,

Not a single day passed without,
feeling something is missing, its you,

Not a single day passed without,
trying to find where you are,

Not a single day passed without,
hoping to dream of you every night,

Not a single day passed without,
hoping faith will meet us together,

when the time is right.

imy.

over,

2015-07-22T01:57:00.003+08:00

haii selamat hari rayaa aidilfitri maaf zahir batin. post yang ke-180, blogger since jan 2010. rasa macam malas dah la nak tulis dah lepasni hm ataupun private balik hahaha raya tahun ni dapat banyak pulak duit hikk alhamdulillah. makcik makcik sedare sume bagi lebihh tapi sedihnya kalau gi raya rumah orang, dah tak dapat duit raya sangat dah haha nampak betul dah besarrr. alhamdulillah, result okay bersyukur tapi, dijangka tamat? hm harap harap tamat laa jangan memainnn tanak sambung lagi dahh penat. dah la tetibe makcik semua suruh sambung phd zzzzzzzzz ingat senang ke susah weh nak buat research tu nak dapat title Dr. tuuuu. huaaaa tak sanggup. nasib baik abah sokong untuk takyah sambung hahaha bukan masalah aku nak kerja pegang duit sendiri ke apa tapi masalahnya sanggup ke n mampu ke aku untuk buat phd tu nnt? haa taktauu. nanti la bila dah kawen ke tetibe rasa nak sambung nanti sambung la kat obersea ke kann hikkkk tinggi cita cita dyana. ok jom tido dah lewat ni. jangan la syok sendiri lagi dahh, not good la haha ok bye.

8 years 3 months 3 weeks is nothing :')

sometimes you have to accept that people's part in your story is over

okay.......

furthest,

2015-07-14T01:54:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum :)

sebab saya rindu iftar tahun lepasss. how fast time flies...

malam ni dah malam 27 ramadhan dah. rasa macam kejap sangat puasa tahun ni. tiba tiba je dah nak raya. amalam kurang sangat tahun ni terukkk :( seriously, 10 bulan dah weh lajunyaaaaaa nak setahun dah. tapi, lama mana pun masa tu, tetap sama je. pity you diyana. nampak macam dah pergi jauh, tapi tengok tengok kat situ jugak haha kesiannn. false hope sangat.... nak dijadikan cerita, siang tadi monday blues sangat. hancur musnah semua harapan. dah la semangat jugak la pergi situ, ramai betul manusia, carik parking, pergi guardian, lalu kedai kedai cina tu peluh peluh sorang sorang haha lepastu bila dah sampai tempat yang dituju tu kan, dengan bahagia nya;

# : agak agak sampai dalam berapa hari eh?

$ : 3 hari macam tu

# : oh okay *sempat la dia makan time raya *lompat*

lepastu dia sebut something unexpected sangat sampai aku camni ha @#$%^&/? hahahaha aku je yang tak jangka benda tu sebab tak terpikir pon sebab pikir nak sampai cepat sebelum raya je hahahaha. lepastu macam pikir lagi, nak ke taknak. lepastu macam, ish tak worth sangat haha tapi memang patut pon benda yang dia sebut tu. lepastu terus keluar dari situ lepas hantar mak punya barang tu lepastu masuk kete macam pikir lagi time drive pon pikirrrrr senyap je hahahah takpela, ada hikmah kot. ntah ntah orang tu tak suka pon benda tu hahaha harapannn, tapi sedih la sikit rasa nak guling guling terkejut kat situ pagi tadi weh hahaha

nahh. jemput datang rumah :)

okay la, nak raya dah lagi 3 4 hari. selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin. halalkan makan minum belanja saya semua. minta maaf salah silap kekurangan saya sepanjang perkenalan kita. good luck exam time raya, semoga dipermudah jawab exam nanti. jangan sedih tau. safe flight to malaysia. jemput datang rumah raya nanti. jaga diri....

it was the furthest she had gone, and she never went much further....

farewell,

2015-07-08T00:42:00.001+08:00

A SAD FAREWELL

For all the time I've known you,
to the present - now our past;
I know never to forget you;
though regret still pains my heart.

Had I known, I would not have left you,
alone beneath those stars,
on the night when I last saw you,
not knowing it was the last.

-lullabies, 203/235.

img20140828, i miss :'(

you,

2015-07-01T09:13:00.001+08:00

FOR YOU

Here are the things I want for you.

I want you to be happy. I want someone else to know the warmth of your smile, to feel the way I did when I was in your presence.

I want you to know how happy you once made me and though you really did hurt me, in the end, I was better for it. I don't know if what we had was love, but if it wasn't, I hope never to fall in love. Because of you, I know I am too fragile to bear it.

I want you to remember my lips beneath your fingers and how you told me things you never told another soul. I want you to know that I have kept sacred, everything you had entrusted me and I always will.

Finally, I want you to know how sorry I am for pushing you away when I had only meant to bring you closer. And if I ever felt like home to you, it was because you were safe with me. I want you to know that most of all.

-lullabies, 109/235.

future,

2015-06-28T10:12:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum :)

haiii selamat berpuasaaa. harini dah 11 ramadhan dah punn. lajunyaaaaaa masaaa. tiba tiba je dah fasa kedua ramadhan weh. jap lagi nak raya dahh. nak lemang opahhh hihii. btw, dah nak habis bulan jun dahh. alhamdulillah, berjaya tempuh hari hari sepanjang bulan jun ni dengan tabah. test final exam thesis viva semua alhamdulillah lancar, dipermudah semua. sekarang tinggal nak buat pembetulan thesis je lepastu jilid lepastu yeayyy boleh tidooo. haha tapi takleh lagi, tak dapat result lagi hihi. esok gi holidayy yeayy macam first time je holiday ngan kawan? hehe tapi 2 hari 1 malam je punn. zzzz biar laaa. itu pun nak tanya abah, ya Allah cuak kebebehhhh taktau nak cakap cane. nanti nak kawen nak cakap cane kat abah? erm jumpa abah sendiri laaa hikkkk :p

so, cuti ni nak buat apa? ntohh carik keje. takut laa. nak menghadap realiti kehidupan. dah takde dah nak ulang alik ukm, merengek menangis kat kawan semua. haihh cane tahh lepasni life. kerjaaa. eeeeeee tak pernah kerja kot! praktikal haritu tak macam kerja pon haha. tp, cuti ni habiskan baca buku dulu kot kalau free. lullabies, love & misadventure, catatan mat lutfi (haha), the best of me, the art of thinking clearly, 88 love life. tu je kot? semalam baca lullabies, poem dia, sikit je dah macam apasal sedih gilaaaaaaaaaaaa teringat semua. time tu pulak ada orang tanya, "nak bunga tak nanti time konvo?". wehh sedihh haha lepastu terus macam huaaaaaaaaa hati menangis haha. tah pape nak sedihh. dahh, esok nak holidayy. byeee hihi

because, when i miss you, i pray and i write for you,

and, when i write sad things, i am writing about the future.

instinct,

2015-06-18T01:21:00.001+08:00

saya rasa, kita punya instinct yang kuat. saya tak tahu, tapi saya cuba untuk tidak berharap lagi. selamat berpuasa awak kat sana 19 jam sebulan semoga berjaya semoga dipermudah jawab exam bulan puasa ni semoga selamat semuanya kat sana saya doakan yang terbaik jaga diri

"love that connects you to your heart, makes you strong"

lost,

2015-06-04T00:31:00.003+08:00

moment bila, rasa macam, useless sangat. useless yang macam rasa kalau buat ape pun macam nothing. rasa tak dihargai. rasa macam ape kau buat semua salah. tak suka bila perasaan tu datang. and moment bila, rasa terbeban yang amat sangat. and rasa macam banyaknyaaaaaaaaaaaa tanggungjawab nak kene laksanakan. penat sangat. lepastu, lama sangat tahan, bila sampai satu tahap, dah takleh tahan. habis banjirrrrrrrrr. banjir sangat sangat. and masa tu rasa takde sape yang ada, yang nak dengar, yang nampak kite nangis, kecuali Dia. sedihhhhhhh. bantal ikan paus hijau, still sampai sekarang teman. bantal tu la teman tido setiap malam sejak kat maktab lagi. sayang bantal tu, opah buat. bantal tu pun dah buruk busuk sume dah sebab segala bagai air ada kat situ. air liur basi, air mata, air hidung semua adaaa. bila nangis, bantal tu yang lapkan air mata. monyet, pandang dari jauh je. bila pandang monyet tu, lagi tambah sedihhh. yang dah benti nangis pon jadi nangis teresak lagiii lepastu. and lepastu, pernah tak rasa macam nak lari dari semua orang? yes, sekarang aku rasa macam tu. rasa nak lari dari semua orang, taknak jumpa sesape. tapi, benda tu mustahil. memang takkan jadi pon. nak lari pon lari kemana? sedihhhhhhhhhhhh. lepastu, tak reti nak cakap "no" dekat orang. tapi, bila fikir balik, kalau kita ikhlas, kita takkan pertikaikan benda tu. hm, sedih lagi. taktau nak cakap macam manaaaaaaaaaa. bila sedih, suka tulis. sekarang dah pukul 12.30am. dari pukul 9.30 tadi berkurung dalam bilik, lepastu takde sape pun masuk bilik. mak pun dah tido kot, tapi selalunya sebelum tido mak masuk bilik dulu, salam peluk cium. tapi malam ni tak pun. sedihnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. esok test. minggu depan final sebulan. presentation hasil, viva. apa nak jadi life bulan ni? hm takpela, tawakal...................... :'(

afterthought,

2015-05-29T22:48:00.001+08:00

thoughts I think of presently,

will come and go with ease,

while thoughts of you, from long before,

have yet to make their leave.

the memory of you and I,

still finds me here and now,

tomorrow has arrived and gone,

yet your voice to me, resounds.

for if my present were an echo of,

a past I cant forget.

then these thoughts are just

an afterthought,

and I am always in its debt.

-lullabies♥

dear love letter march 2012,

will you make my dreams come true?

daisypath,

2015-05-28T01:21:00.000+08:00

dah nak masuk jun dah. kalau boleh, taknak hadap bulan jun ni. like, wake me up when june ends. haha tapi, mana boleh....kene hadap jugak. terpaksa. thesis hasil viva final exam semua, lepastuuuu habissss. ya Allah tak sabarnyaaaaaaaaaa. memang betul betul tak sabar nak habissss ni. nak tido nak makan sedap nak jejalan nak rehat. kalau boleh, nak travel sesorang, tak pun ngan kawan. tapi, abah mak bagi ke? ermmmmmmm. dah 2/3 tahun dahh daisypath tu berlalu. tak move on move on lagi hahaha kesiannn, loser nyaaaaaaa dyanaaaaa. hm if and only if i could turn back time...it's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow. betul lah tu. haaaa baru lepas tengok gambar ni kahkah gambar dari zaman matrik, pehh kurus nyaaaa sayaa hihi gambar zaman first year, kolej sebelah sebelah, makan kat cafe, gi taman tasik cempaka huahuahua. budak budak sangat. yela masa tu kan tak matang............lepastu gambar setahun lebih selepas tak ketemuu, hm banyaknyaaaaaa lepastu gambar goodbye tahun lepassssssss. rindunya alamanda asaloon icity onecity sunway makan sedap buka puasa mahal haha best tapi semua hanya tinggal kenangan hihihihi dah la bosan la sepatutnya kene tulis thesis sekarang tapi hm cam biasa malas esok kelas bawak kete ngantuk ngantuk hm rutin harian tak menarik la lately niiii hm byeeeeeeeee!

wahai jiwa andai kau mampu bicara beritahuku isi hatimuu,

forgive,

2015-05-19T22:57:00.000+08:00

23 Painfully True Lessons You Learn by Age 23

1. You are not your failures or rejections. You are not the boy who couldn’t love you, the job you couldn’t get, the school who wait-listed you.

2. You are, however, your passions, your convictions and the company you keep.

3. Blocking toxic people out is hard, healthy and needed. You may regret blocking people out. But you will ultimately rejoice in a toxic-free life.

4. You are unique, and your experience with people is unique. Your relationships can never be repeated, replaced; only remembered.

5. Have the courage to be yourself all the time.

6. Show your love. Especially to your parents. We are all living on borrowed time, don’t waste the moment you could have said, “I love you, Mom and Dad.”

7. Don’t be the life of a pity party. No one enjoys the tear-stained favors or melancholy attitude.

8. Trust your intuition. Period.

9. Know when to fight. More importantly, know when to walk away. And keep walking.

10. Never regret speaking your mind and respecting yourself. Even if it compromises your reputation, your relationships or “looking pyscho”. Never regret loving yourself enough to call out people who don’t.

11. She’s no you. And you aren’t her either. So stop comparing yourself, there is no comparison.

12. You can only overcome self-harm with self-love.

13. You were created to be something magnificent. Honor that.

14. Continue to be outspoken. Some will find it scary, some will find it sexy, but you will find it liberating.

15. You may not have the person you want, but you have your integrity. Hold onto it. It will get you through difficult periods with grace and poise. Don’t succumb to low levels of revenge and desperation. Continue to be dignified even when it seems unfair or unresponsive.

16. Before you do something, question your motives. We all have demons but we all have a responsibility to tame them before they turn into our monsters.

17. If you apologize, mean it.

18. Be good to the ones who are good to you.

19. God will speak to you through other people, dreams, and music. Listen.

20. We have so many different chapters in this lifetime. People are not meant to be “main characters” throughout our story. That doesn’t mean we won’t find our happy ending.

21. Some people will take you for granted. Some will emotionally abuse you. This is their problem. Unfortunately you will be causality in someone’s personal battle, but again, this is their problem.

22. It is never too late to change and grow.

23. Forgive. Forgive your enemies and forgive yourself.

sweet 23!

fight,

2015-05-17T00:34:00.002+08:00

somehow the silence seemed to connect us in a way like words never could (?)

I’m moving on. Not within days or weeks. I’m not sure how long it would take. I’m not sure how easy or hard it would be but i’m finally ready to accept things as they are. Not all endings need a proper closure. Just like how easy you came in and walked away, that should be how easy it is for me to move along. There is always bound to be someone or something better than me, i just need to find someone who acknowledges this fact but still prefers me. Me, above all my flaws. Humans can never be so sure of how long “okay” would last.

tough,

2015-04-23T22:53:00.001+08:00

"you may not understand today or tomorrow but eventually He will reveal why you went through everything you did"

penat jaga hati orang lain. kadang kadang tak suka dengan diri sendiri sebab tak reti nak jaga hati sendiri. sedih. 6 bulan berlalu dengan jayanya. gigih bangun hari hari, buang harapan yang tinggi menggunung dulu. alhamdulillah, tak teruk la banjirnya, tak banjir pun. sekali je. maybe, aku lah orang yang terpilih untuk face benda benda alah ni. complicated. moment bila kau dah jatuh teruk gilaaaaaa lepastu dah mula nak bangun, tiba tiba ada orang tolak sikit, so macam tergelincir jap, lepastu cuba nak bangun balik semula. bukan senang. orang lain takkan rasa benda tu selagi dia sendiri tak rasa benda tu. moment bila benda yang kau tertanya tanya kenapa, akhirnya kau tahu dah jawapannya apa. sedih tak terkata. sedih yang kau rasa takde orang boleh rasa sedih tu macam mana. sedih yang kau rasa kau lah orang bertuah yang Dia pilih untuk hadapi benda ni. well, everything happens for a reason. please, dont make any promises that you cant keep. penat. bukan senang. dah bertahun tahun macam tu, tiba tiba nak tukar ke something new? hm tak boleh. people change. and i dont know why. bukan senang nak jumpa orang yang terima baik buruk kita. baik sangat ke kita untuk dapat yang lebih baik? ataupun, jahat/buruk sangat ke kita untuk orang baik menerima kita? i dont know. and i keep asking myself. and aku percaya, one day nanti, aku akan pandang balik benda benda ni and aku akan bersyukur untuk apa yang aku dah lalui selama ni. kita berusaha lah untuk menjadi baik, daripada menunggu yang baik tu datang. okay. be strong! you are one tough girl. remember that!

"Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you, and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not" -2:216

letter,

2015-04-11T09:09:00.002+08:00

Repost.

Sometimes breaking up isn’t too difficult. Sometimes you know the person is entirely wrong for you. You know that it would never work because you never achieved that level of intimacy necessary to build a lasting relationship. You never became best friends.

Then there are times when breaking up is the most difficult thing in the world, not just because you know that you are breaking your lover’s heart – and your own while you’re at it – but because you are willfully choosing to lose your best friend.

There is nothing worse than choosing to let go and move on when you know that your best friend will never be more than just that, a best friend. It’s a very difficult phenomenon to describe, which is why most go with the all-time favorite cliché: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

The truth is, that is the best way to describe it: You love someone deeply and feel that you ought to be part of each others’ lives, but not in the capacity that you have been thus far.

Unfortunately, not everyone can break up and stay friends. In fact, I’d say most couldn’t. That is why we lose our best friends.

We lose the people who are most important to us and, let’s be honest, end up lost for a good moment afterwards ourselves.

With time, however, we learn to pick up the pieces and redefine our direction in life. Yet, not all of us completely move on.

Some of us still hold on to that friendship even though it is long gone. Why? We do love them.

We wish they could be part of our lives. But at the same time we understand that is impossible.

It's hard.

__________________________________________________________

An Open Letter to the Girl My Boyfriend Cheated On Me With

Without pain, we cannot understand the beauty of healing.

For your sake, I won't say your name. I know it well, and I cannot get it out of my head. But to you, you who hurt me, you who took away my relationship, you who selfishly thought of only your own happiness, thank you.

We have never met, but I know you must know who I am. I am the woman you saved through the strangest means possible.
My boyfriend cheated on me with you. Through social media, you must have known I existed.

I could say congratulations or you win, or even the cliché -- you deserve each other, but I won't. I will say thank you.

You would think I would hate you, because you did to another woman what all women fear most, but I don't hate you. You have done me an incredible service that I did not have the courage to do myself.

Thank you for setting me free. Thank you for saving me a future full of pain and lies. Thank you for showing his true colors through your joint actions.

Thank you for giving me a reason to say goodbye to the biggest blockade I have ever faced. Thank you for opening my future up again.

Thank you for taking the blame, for giving me a reason to leave, to give me a reason to start over.

Thank you for reminding me that I am worth so much more than lies and deception, that I don't have to take the emotional abuse and trauma of this experience lying down.

Thank you for showing me that my dad was always right, and for letting me feel the overwhelming love of the friendships I had forgotten.

Thank you for showing me that there are better ways to spend my time and my tears.

Thank you for giving me a chance to have another first date.

Thank you for bringing me to my knees, for reminding me of what pain feels like, for without pain we cannot understand the beauty of healing.

Without bad, we cannot understand good.

Without your interference, I would not have lost my breath; but because of you, I have learned to breathe again.

Thank you.

Most sincerely,

The girl you helped set free.

march,

2015-04-01T15:31:00.000+08:00

hyee assalamualaikum hihi

so, harini 1 april dah. cepatnya masaaa berlalu. dah habis bulan mac dah. wuuwuuu. erm, post kali ni nak cerita pasal benda best yang berlaku bulan mac haritu. haritu 10 mac, genap umur 23 tahunn. eee macam tak caye dah 23. cepatnyaaa. 25 nak kawenn haha. masa bday haritu, best sangat. walaupun bday kali ni tak sama macam bday bday 7 tahun yang lepass. hmm sedih la sikit tapi takpe, Dia ganti kan dengan benda yang lagi best lagi baik hihi so tengok gambar je la ehh. rasa macam bday yang ke-23 ni best n happening sangat heee alhamdulillah thank you semuaa yang wish muah muah!

mak abah bagi :')

jaja alia datang rumah buat surprise nangisss :')


mia tin kakain intan buat surprise jugak nangisss betul betul haha :')

ada jugak yang lain bagi hadiah. thank you sangat. sedih sebab orang jauh tak wish haha takpela nak wat cane kan. memang dah agak dah pun haha. ok habis pasal bday. next is, buku yang dalam wishlist dah beli dah!!! sukaa gilaaaaaaaaa dah lama dah nak buku tu lagi lagi bila dah patah hati haritu. memang nak sangat. so haritu dapat baucer buku, lepastu ada book fair kat picc, gi beli buku tu hihi


love & misadventure + lullabies, from lang leav :D

ok, buku tu baru baca sikit sikit je. nanti habis study baru baca betul betul hehe. buku reclaim your heart tu tetap dihati. buku tu memang lagi deep, menyentuh perasaan. buku lang leav ni macam poem poem yang kene dengan diri sendiri poem poem patah hati :p

ok, lepastu, last week, ada conference dengan orang jepun lagi macam sem lepass. best tapi cam biasa, ngantukk hehe. lepastu, weekend, 27-29 mac pergi Taman Negara Endau Rompin Selai, Johor. best gilaaaaaaaaaaa. lamaaaaaaa perjalanan pergi balik nak ke tempat taman negara tuu. naik bas pukul 9am, sampai pukul 5pm. zzzzzzzz. tu sebab berhenti sembahyang jumaat, makan tengahari semua. lepastu naik 4WD sejam untuk sampai ke tempat yang nak pergi tuu. sakit pinggang duduk lama dalam bass haha

muka bahagia baru sampai lepas 8 jam dalam bass :D

tempat dia best. bilik dia best. makan sedap. lecturer n staf semua sporting je. masuk hutan pagi sabtu tu. wehhh redah hutan semua air terjun hujan semua. pengalaman yang sangat menarik n tak dapat dilupakan. seriously. alhamdulillah, tak kene pacat hehehe sebab pakai seluar tight n stokin bawak keluar haahaha. nanti dah tua boleh la cerita kat anak cucu yang kite dah pernah masuk taman negara yeayyy hihi ok la, tengok gambar je la eh hihi

kawasan tempat tinggal, dorm, chalet

sebelum masuk hutan :D

elak pacat stokin tuu hehe biarlaaa pelik ponnn

dalam hutan, muka busukk peluhh haha

yeayy alhamdulillah dah sampai air terjun takah tinggi yeay :D

beriya taknak mandi last last muka ni yang terjun dulu haha :D

ready nak masuk hutan

yeayy, sayang Sains Nuklear. muahh!

ok dah habis cerita kem. enjoy sangat. so lastly, harini 1 april, happy birthday to you! may all your wishes comes true. and, happy 2920 dayss. walaupun sebenarnya takdelah 2920 sangat pon sebab dah half year tak contact. kahkahkah. tapi nak letak jugak untuk kenangan, yang daisypath ni. hehehe

since 2007 :')

dah darjah 2 lah kiranya kalau ada baby tu muahahahha merepek. hm, nampaknya, you enjoying your life, so why not me kann. hmm sokkay, susah laaaa nak move on. kenape ntah haha padan muka sape suruh berharap sangat! hm k, tu je lahh. panjangnyaaa saya berceritaa yeayyy. master tinggal lagi beberapa bulan je ni. tesis belum siap lagi assignment banyakkkk wuuwuuu ok, wish me luck, have fun and take care!:D

credit gambar daripada iphone 5s zura hihi thank you ♥

joys,

2015-03-19T23:45:00.001+08:00

"And all the joys he brought her, how she could list them.

In time she will learn, not to miss them."

till now, i am still trying...

sorry,

2015-02-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

again. selamat satu haribulan. tahniah dah habis praktikal. good luck untuk sem sem akan datang. i am sorry. i have to do this. have fun dekat turki nanti. bestnyaaaaaaaaaaa. jaga diri ye. goodbye. assalamualaikum.

jumpa lagi nanti inshAllah :')

020215,0020 ♥