El Bloggo Torcido - Twisted Oak Winery

We Got Names!

2009-07-08T08:46:52-07:00

The Queen has made her decision and the names are... On the left is "Inigo Montoya" (aka The Spaniard from The Princess Bride) (but you knew that!). And on the right is "The Stig" (named after the "tame racing driver" from the BBC show Top Gear) (OK, you might not have known that.)

Thanks everyone for your great suggestions!

Name My Pussy (Two Pussies, Actually)

2009-07-03T10:41:09-07:00

While not quite the attraction that rubber chickens can be, pussies do make occasional appearances on this blog and also at twistedoak.com.... Anyway, check out this photo(*1):

Long-time Twisted Tasting Room Staff member Serena(*2) had some kittens to find homes for and she brought them by the house yesterday. The Queen (aka Mrs. El Jefe) wanted two of them and (since we already have two cats and a dog(*3)) I put my foot down and said absolutely not!

Needless to say we now have two 12-week old male kittens.

The kittens still do not have names, and since we are having brain freeze on the matter we(*4) thought we would seek outside help - namely you. If you have any name suggestions for either of these two furry bundles of joy(*5) please post them in the comments below. Cheers!

Notes:

(*1): More pictures are posted here on Facebook. (Also please take a moment while you are there to join the Twisted Oak Winery Fan Page!)

(*2): Actually, Serena has been with Twisted Oak since the very beginning, which is especially appropriate since we celebrate our 6th anniversary this weekend!

(*3): Do not think for a moment that Miss Nacha is put out by having new kittens in the house. She gets all maternal around kittens. In fact we're pretty sure she thinks she is a cat herself.

(*4): This blog post was actually The Queen's idea. Go figure.

(*5): That one on the right just crapped on my copy of Gary Vaynerchuck's 101 Wines! Little *%#&@! No, I will not post a photo!

A New Web Site, Twisted Awards, and Customer (Dis)Service

2009-06-20T11:22:41-07:00

(Opting for the 1WineDude style of headline writing this time.)

We have a new web site! - for which I plan to blog more about presently, but you can of course visit it at www.twistedoak.com. We've got some new features, like customer reviews, and some new wines!

And we just got word that our newly released 2006 Calaveras Petite Sirah got another Double Gold, this time from the California State Fair. (Let's all have one big Woo Hoo!)

But what I really wanted to talk about today is customer service. This blog post was prompted by a post in another blog and a letter I received recently. First, the blog post...

You won't often see me calling out another winery, but this one appalled me and quite a few other people I've showed it to. In fact, I'm amazed that the winery (Chateau Julien) hasn't pulled the post. You can read the post titled "This is funny! I suggest he call his insurance company!" here.

I hope anyone reading this blog realizes what a horrible example of customer service this represents. We can certainly argue over whether saying "no" was appropriate - the winery could have a reasonable policy to not replace bottles of a certain age - however, you could still offer to send the current vintage. But then to go on and mock the writer... you had the chance to make a friend (for so few dollars), and you blew it!

Now that I've ripped another winery, you have your shot at me. I recently received a letter from a long-time Twisted Few wine club member, which said in part:

"I find it appalling that The Spaniard was recently offered on winewoot at a deeply discounted price. Makes me think that River of Skulls might not be far behind. If you are going to slash the price why not offer it to the wine club who already appreciates your wine? Yeah, I know, might be a good introduction to get some new customers... You guys have to call it."

And here is what I wrote back:

"I can see you had been a member quite a long time, maybe three years? Software changes have made it difficult to keep track, but your low customer number doesn't lie. Please accept my appreciation for sticking with us for so long as we've tried to grow this into a viable business.

"As you rightly point out [later in his letter], the wine business right now is more insanely competitive than it ever has been. You might be shocked to know how much wine we give away for free in our tasting rooms and at tasting events around the area. It's over 10% of production. But it's something you have to do to entice new customers to take home some of your wine.

"Getting our name out beyond this area is even more difficult. Even though we don't make very much money from a wine.woot it has proven to be a great way to introduce ourselves to an open-mined wine loving community. Since we can't give free tasting samples to this far-flung community the next best thing is to give the opportunity to try our wines - an introductory offer. The wine.woot offers have paid off with wine club signups and repeat purchases, not to mention some great word of mouth from the wine.woot community."

So, let me have it. How did I do?

A Really Twisted Job Update!

2009-05-28T17:06:04-07:00

You can find the previously posted information in the original blog post here. But stay tuned here for updates as they happen!

Update: Deadline for making your submission to A Really Twisted Job has been extended to July 31st! Note that this is 10 days past the final announcement date for those other guys.

Owning Google Suggest

2009-05-28T16:34:18-07:00

Over on the Winery Web Site Report blog, Mike Duffy writes about Google Suggest. Mike also decided to explore some food and wine pairing suggestions.

Needless to say this prompted me to attempt the obvious pairing to see if Google suggested it and to see what were the top search results. 943,000 results, and most were involved with Twisted Oak and our infamous bouncy bantams.

But that's not enough. I want to own the Google Suggest results. In fact, I want to pwn the Google Suggest results! All your suggests are belong to us!!

If you would like to support this vaguely worthy cause, please add the phrase "what wine goes with rubber chicken" someplace on your web sites with a link back to this blog post. And if you do, please let me know via a comment below and/or a trackback. Let's get this soon-to-be classic food and wine pairing on the map!

And by the way, if you are searching for wine-related stuff, you shouldn't be googling - you should be Ablegraping! If you haven't yet checked out ablegrape.com, you should!

A Really Twisted Job!

2009-05-16T15:24:52-07:00

So much going on over here at El Rancho Torcido that it has become too easy to forget to blog anymore! We'll be remedying that starting now....

It may or may not have come to your attention that competitions for high-paying jobs as a social media specialist have become all the rage. First it was Tourism Queensland (Australia) with their "Best Job in the World" competition, and now it has spilled into the wine world with Murphy-Goode Winery (not of Murphys, CA) (what's that about anyway?) and "A Really Goode Job."

As I write this there are 94 applicants for the aforementioned Goode Job. (You know, it's not every day you get to use "aforementioned" in a sentence.) That means there will be at least 93 applicants left without a gig. This tremendous waste of human talent must be avoided at all costs.

We're not a big winery like Murphy-Goode, so we can't offer quite the same perks - but we can offer:

a generous wine allowance;
an equally generous rubber chicken and clothing allowance;
a personal camp site on the grounds at Twisted Oak Winery in Vallecito, that includes 24/7 access to indoor plumbing (including a real commercial-grade flush toilet), and access to the winery shower (during normal business hours);
all the rural WiFi you can eat at 768Kbps;
free admission to all winery events (this alone is worth scads. and even oodles.)
and $1.98 of my personal pocket change (includes high-grade pocket lint as a bonus!)

For this unique and generous compensation package, all you have to do is experience the Twisted Wine Life^tm and tell people about it. Note that you need to be at least 21 years old and be able to communicate your way out of a paper bag. Knowledge of HTML, poker, and rubber chicken wrangling would help too.

Interested? Email tastingroom@twistedoak.com!

Update: Even with the way they say the economy is going, I didn't think $1.98 and a rubber chicken was going to generate so much interest (though camping at the winery is pretty cool!) So, here's the deal:

Via your choice of social media (video, audio, Facebook, twitter, whatever) create something that tells us what Twisted Oak means to you.
Your presentation will be judged by its content, by the effective use of the chosen media, and by its originality. It goes without saying that it should also be funny!
When it's ready, you can email us a link to your entry- or better yet, for extra credit - let us discover it on our own! (We got mad search skillz.)
By the way, the duration of this gig is as long as we both can stand it (as if anything else would make sense!)

I think a deadline of June 8th, 2009 is reasonable. Go for it!

(Euphoric photo of rubber chickens by Lynn Hirth, 2009 Take Your Rubber Chicken To Work Week finalista.)

So, How About Some Nice Spring Pictures?

2009-04-22T19:35:02-07:00

Bottling over 5000 cases and sixpacks this week has severely eaten into my goofing off and taking pictures time, but I did manage to slip out and snag a couple. I also managed to shoot some video of the bottling line in action which I hope to post in a few days. Until then, enjoy the poppies, lupines, and Nacha!

(photo of Nacha and lupines by A Stai)

What Part of DOUBLE YELLOW Did You Not Understand???

2009-04-16T21:03:34-07:00

Dear Visitor,

Tonight my lovely wife and I were driving back from a delicious dinner at Sarafina's Italian Restaurant in Arnold (the pork chop special with peppers was fantastic!) As we were driving down the last stretch of Highway 4 into Murphys - the windiest stretch known to the locals as the Utica Grade - you decided you were in too much of a damn hurry to wait the two minutes until the next safe passing opportunity. And so, on a blind curve you pulled across the double yellow line to make your pass.

There isn't a lot of shoulder available on the downside of the Utica Grade, but I'm happy to report that by what surely must only be random chance you opted to make your bonehead move in a place where I could go into the dirt to avoid you.

I'm happy that you and your little black luxury SUV were able to make up some time. I'll be even happier if the CHP officer I was able to flag down a minute later nailed your sorry ass!

(Folks, please come to Calaveras County, and please slow down and enjoy our beautiful hills and trees and flowers and fields. And please drive safely. You'll get there.)

Photo by El Jefe, taken yesterday from Twisted Oak Winery, looking up the valley abd Highway 4. That Nacha in the foreground!)

A New Varietal Grows in the Sierra Foothills!

2009-03-31T13:14:53-07:00

Wednesday we are releasing a new wine, made with a varietal that we believe has not been cultivated in the New World, at least not here in California. This varietal is the extremely rare Poulet Caoutchouc, which is found only in the foothills of the Ardennes forest in France. Fortunately here in Calaveras County, we have similar forests and hills, and this variety has taken root - and indeed, flourished!

This wine is 100% Poulet Caoutchouc. Our Twisted winemaker Fermento (the Magnificent) describes this wine as having the classic varietal character, "This varietal shows strong earthy aromas and a different sort of sweetness on the front, moving to a sort of sharp astringency in the mid-palate. The mouthfeel is very chewy, and the flavors stay with you for a long time. A very, very long time."

All Twisted Oak wines are well known for pairing very well with rubber chicken; the Poulet Caoutchouc may actually be our most perfect pairing to date. Production on this wine is very limited, so you'll want to grab yours before it's gone!

(And be sure to mark your calendar for the evening of May 2nd when we will be holding our first ever Rubber Chicken Roast at the Twisted Oak Winery in Vallecito. This event benefits the Rubber Chicken National Forest and the Calaveras Big Trees Park. Tickets are $35 and include BBQ roasted chicken, wine, and all the fixins - and are available in advance from the winery at 209-736-9080x10. No foolin'!)

(photo by Farley Walker, 2008 Take Your Rubber Chicken to Work Week finalist)

Play Ball!!

2009-03-30T10:12:29-07:00

Saturday was Opening Day for the 2009 Twisted Sisters. The morning started off with pictures at 8:45 and we had our first of two exhibition games slated for 9:45. Because each team needed to get two games in that day, games were limited to one hour. The first game started off with a bang...a very close one that ended after 4 innings with the Sisters on the losing end of a one-run 3-2 score. Our starter, K.L., had your typical Opening Day nerves but finally calmed down a bit after the first inning. After two innings, Hollywood took the mound and she threw two innings of shutout ball.

Game 2 was a bit more challenging. Wild Thing started game 2 and put up a few walks. Although she had a rough start, I believe with a little more time, she will be an ace. She's got the most potential and has the best form of all three of our starters. We ended up on the wrong end of a 7-2 loss. Fortunately these games do not count and our first regular season game on Thursday night should be interesting...we'll keep you posted!!

-Coach Fermento