Elementary Funk

Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation - Toasty brekkie in reverse

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:55:43 +1000

Sliding the helloes in reverse, the introductions of the generations take the step and hold Y to X to Baby Boomers. In that order, a flip of the burger and the game is under way. Greedy Smith with Amanda Keller, Sophie Lee and Charlie Pickering for the X and Josh Thomas with Matt Lee holding up for Generation Y.

Slow start on the first round, save for the Baby Boomers taking out the TV shows missing a character. 5 against the 2 of the other teams and they're into the run of things, Smith putting his hand up to answer instead of hitting the button on the desk.

Host Shaun Micallef relenting from last week's vow to never announce the name of the second round, but "What's a Doodle Do?" And again, as they are stars in their own right, cartoon characters representing their visages with "Photos courtesy" of their respective houses.

Micallef shining Woody Allen and an imitation that sputters at the right moments and killing the rest but only for the first two movie tag lines before taking off the horn-rimmed glasses and vocal affect. Snapping fine delivery and the Baby Boomers standing still as X and Y take 15 and 14 respectively.

Flipping back from the intro the Boomers hold into the long with 26 as the fresh faces wake up on 22, Generation X in the back with 16.

Serving up the final end game challenge with a long arm of destiny from a Mayan monk, 11 points and the 1957 Nobel Prize for Chemistry for breakfast in bed to Micallef.

Baby Boomers dishing up a B+ platter of juice, toast, cereal and fruit. Generation X spreading a lot of choice and a Lee standing with a flower. Y not really even showing any effort and not much even more than a snack really. Micallef taking a bite and throwing it to the audience and pleas of Y to allow them the win of the night over X.

Soon Van

Thank God You're Here - Soap up the scope

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 13:01:20 +1000

Drop shaft through the saloon doors and a flight training course that never takes off save for the actors lifting the dead fuselage by the flapping of their wings. Arj Barker flashing back to previous appearances, steadying his sway on the front of stage before the jump ball. Not too much waddle, a clearing head.

From his own monster head on the door, Barker takes the zen from a previous incarnation and settles the nerves for the night. All in the sane state of keeping it with his persona, the relaxing vibe keeps filling out the scene to where the free and contradictory love is all at an abandon.

Broad strokes in the Josh Lawson arsenal donning the trip down the submarine. Making treads through the sausage-fest, keeps the lively conversation brimming with a sharp cut of the jib. Jokes aside and then back on the scrub deck, the winch up back off the edge is killing the side wanting to suppress the laughter, but finding no reason to keep it in.

Another 3rd Degree appears as Felicity Ward rubs up the underbelly and doesn't really kick out the police investigation for the first half. But then, noticing the ever there Ed Kavalee, flicks the bouffant up more and takes the sneaky into the side dash of bringing the standing-there-doing-nothing Rebekah Foord. Who even then doesn't really know why she's in the room. Not much.

Josie Long retakes a spin and sports some shoulder pads of 80s flair to ark up in the soap to mimic other soaps. Twisting and tailing, the story line getting more ridiculous by the second, a well done sizzle on the grill let down by a flat end overcooked by the show taking its own clothes off before the water was anywhere near the shore.

Champagne comedy with the cutaway of a wedding day and the four players. No doubt countering the Masterchefs bobbing a last minute wedding cake at the Blue Room on the Harbour. Behind the scenes feeling with a rapport of being all ways amongst friends. Simplest delivery from Barker on the well wishes for the couple to have an always in range and topped up mobile plan killing in its deadpan. Ward sniffing hard from the bouquet to cover up.

Flaming out the group challenge, Lawson camps up the stereotypical male flight attendant as the others leave between him and Barker to settle a score of clashing dining carts. Ensemble cast letting them rip it up and generally steering clear of making any sudden movements in their direction. Close on the call, but Lawson pipping the rest to walk off with the flowers and trophy.

Soon Van

Thank God You're Here - Congas and coconuts

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 13:05:47 +1000

Slow on the uptake, the rest from the stage stomp suffers a the week's absence and the want to showcase it all on previews never fails. Nothing left to reveal, the game is on with a super tan of allergic proportions, a pregnant pause and a line with Gussy taking the head of the queue.

Kate Langbroek takes on the full force of her gold digging ways on A Tonight Show with Ed Kavalee. Rolling out a pensioner ready keel and hitting preggers, definitely in the skin of things. Rocking off a boat, the Slutinski, and it's all a case of swinging around a sickening love mop that buckets out the humour.

Angus Murray Lincoln Sampson gets pithed before cocking a shot gun and takes some lotion running that gets the boil boiling before the human game hunting. Measuring the results of the buck shot, very laconic and taking the scene to waving about, just there, pitting it over the edges of the hole in the ground. Comfortably in his skin.

All sorts of carrots and super tan supreme on the face of Toby Truslove. Red, Truslove invokes the suppression and stun power of the hug. Even ensembler Rebekah Foord unable to withstand the closeness as the tall tales untrue unravel quick and easily enough to be past experience. Fitting of the situation, a stubbing on the kill line of his new girlfriend, Mai Ling, mailing his letters. A constant sweat there never has been like this adding much in the spirit of the game.

Heath Franklin takes the sports ghosting to a dead start as the one word answers and lazy feel envelopes the scene. In the same boardroom as Bob Franklin of a previous game, the atmosphere limps pathetically without remorse or even energy. An unwanting, out with the walk around the track. Point at least for wanting to stuff a quail inside a duck inside a chicken inside a sheep inside a cow to go to town on.

Pedestrian enough mock commercial from the lot in the previously recorded segment. Aging via fine done makeup, the standout being Langbroek for the frank delivery. But then the trumps come up shining the moon on Sampson's finish on the fade to black. Cracker of a tip to the last segment of the night.

And the all in challenge sees the four sunning down in a resort. Flailing in the breeze trying to impress the guests, Langbroek shunts out with the conga and directs the majority of the scene as Truslove takes his fancy of Foord. Sampson manages to find a drink from the bar and takes out the night as the highlight.

Soon Van

Links for 2009-06-05 [del.icio.us]

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 00:00:00 PDT

jQuery vs MooTools: Choosing Between Two Great JavaScript Frameworks
Sizing up the differences and similarities, strengths and desired target site tooling between the two frameworks.
Ethical Meat vs. Meat Hype: A Look at "All Natural", "Grass-Fed" and other types
Working out the real definitions of all the food labelling slapped on packs of meat sold in the US
Cycle JQuery Plugin
Slideshow cycling (with fades and transitions) of various elements in a DIV or list.
Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow
Taking the Monty Python stumper and breaking it down with real world maths.
Free Geolocation API tool : CodeDiesel
Using PHP and cURL, pinging for the details of an IP address to nail down the city, country, zip, latitude, longitude etc, of a visitor
Smart Image Resizer (PHP): a simple way to create thumbnails
Crop and resize an image (jpeg or gif) to a square thumbnail.
Web Performance Best Practices
Google tips on speeding up the load and render time of a web page.
Coupons, we've got them all - Tjoos Australia
Collection of coupon codes with a large slab of Aussie stores in the database
What Freelancers Must Know About Ergonomics
Tips on a few things to note when setting up an office in terms of safety, health and ergonomics

Going nowhere with Wolverine and the Avengers

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 19:19:08 +1000

Calm the nerves after the 39th wave and the horde of dust settles on the covers of a couple of Marvel comics from Free Comic Book Day. Film at eleven, with the coat thin, but enough to mop up the minute sweat on fingertips. Then comes the reading.

Free Comic Book Day 2009: The Avengers

Forcing excitement and the pains of moving things into higher gear, "The Way Things Are..." turns over the front cover to speed, "And there came a day unlike any other, when Earth's Mightiest Heroes found themselves united against a common threat!" Cutting the brake line and head long into the ravine, Spider-Man is all things ADHD and annoying. Valley girl of the superhero set and reminding everyone of just how far out and over the top things are as they play right in the panel. Everything is a shiny object to the webslinger and the oohing and aahing of the sparkles is the entirety of the dialogue.

There are the New Avengers and the Dark Avengers. No clue who is on what side or how the teams even divide. Long is the absence of knowing the machinations and power plays of the Marvel Universe. Wolverine has a son? The Green Goblin is leading the Avengers? Spider-Man is a teenager again? So many things, so many titles to not follow.

The Mighty Avengers don't appear, or at least the team name doesn't make a mention. With enough costumes to rack a new franchise, two marauding teams is plenty.

Expository introduction splashing away in the snow storm does the job of running up the information at the cost of flow and entertainment. Who's who and what on which side is cursory by half, the Dark Avengers getting all the caption box time. Thor has a bulldog face, with scars and constant grimacing. On par with Captain America (Bucky Barnes) with the standoffish attitude thanks to boss man Osborn throwing his weight around.

No peel on motivation as to why the frost giant, Ymir appears. With all the yammering and running commentary on hyperbole from Spidey thanks to the typewriter melting Brian Michael Bendis, not a thing as to why the teams mash up the snowballs and just how that magic sword is the answer to all things.

So where to next, after this and to carry on the adventures of the avenging avengers now under governmental control while the other mob are working under the table? No hint to follow on or what best comic to pick the breadcrumbs of. Dead ended.

Free Comic Book Day 2009: Wolverine: Origin of an X-Man

Do nothing cover from Ed McGuinness. Instilling boredom, the white background leaves plenty of room for imagination and time to actually draw something that Wolvie might be lunging from.

"Kingdom of No" is a clean entry, another introduction, but an earlier start on things. Well before the popularity of being in as many books as Bendis writes. At a time just before hitting up the claws against the Hulk and Wendigo all those decades ago.

Fred Van Lente handles writing duties with Gurihiru on art. All ages friendly, the kind of book you give to a kid. Or an adult who isn't jaded by so many retcons.

Quick overall, reading isn't as long as the back feeling the cold of winter through a spinal column in need of new cover. Set up, explanation, confrontation and resolution. Neatly walking the glowing track laid into the ground.

Captions spoken by characters are like any other thought bubbles. Just boxier. Flying over the town of destruction, Wolverine makes sure to note what's going on. Much in a soft and cautious tone of, "Oh, okay, what else is happening then?"

It's action, reaction and then stop by the blackboard for a bit of education on the hippocampus. Thems learnings in the comic. Most of which now reads with the preceding pages wanting to jump over the rest and get right into the class education.

So where then now at the jump of the final page as Wolverine in continuity faces the events spilling from Incredible Hulk #180? No comment from the editor, no page showing what's the best comic to step to fox. Another dead run into the forest.

Soon Van

Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation - Soapy scraps

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:19:08 +1000

Rush to the telly with opening theme tune and the game is on between young and old and the flabby bit in between. Kirk Pengilly links up with Amanda Keller for the Baby Boomers as Kat Stewart joins Charlie Pickering to make up Generation X. Some one named Rhys Uhlich with Josh Thomas makes for Generation Y and with such an unfamiliar guest, that's an indictment for knowing the breed of celebrity for this block.

Baby Boomers out of the block quick to snap up most if not all of the first round. Television in this case tuning back to the old hazy days of the 70s and early 80s. Definitely advantageous to be suckling the boob tube in its formative years burning the cathode rays.

Kitsch pastiche of the bare set elements. Fantastic plastic era of the 70s back dropping Shaun Micallef as the 80s garage notion rests up behind the teams. Future past flying car visions on the rest of the set. So mod, so chunky with the curves of the panels and vidscreen.

Third Drawer Down providing an interesting flash in the box of strange knick knacks and loose ends. The soap saver/shaker what looks a cheese grater to froth and suds up the sink with soap bars and/or slivers to wash dishes with is a stunning glimpse at the opportunities for scrounging every bit of domestic leftover.

Roughly nothing between the teams, only six points breaking apart the party between fore and aft.

Final round end game ultimate decider challenge presents the generations with a table setting. Far more goblets and utensils than a chopsticker would see, even the players find it excessive.

Llloyd the butler offers nothing more than a handy pair of white gloves to walk with Micallef. Cursory appearance with no casting vote for the experience, his appearance is all fluff and in a puff. The winning place setting, as well as the game and Micallef's own second place trophy, to the Baby Boomers.

Soon Van

Links for 2009-05-29 [del.icio.us]

Sat, 30 May 2009 00:00:00 PDT

Reading and Writing Spreadsheets with PHP
Hooking an Excel spreadsheet through PHP and help from PEAR.
20 Pieces of Creative Urban Flat Pack Furniture
Furniture crafted and designed to be made from a single flat sheet of sturdiness. Would make moving furniture between places a whole lot easier.
Perfect 3 Column Liquid Layout: No CSS hacks
Whipping up the golden 3 column layout liquid height template through CSS
The Ultimate Unit Converter
Conversion tool useful in trying to real-world quantify measurements in terms of how many fridges or tyres it would be.
Da Button Factory - Create pretty buttons online, quickly!
Create on the fly some web2.0 looking shiny big buttons.
ShipGooder: Courier Rate Search, Shipping Rate Search for FedEx, DHL ...
Compare the cost of shipping a package over courier company as well as speed of delivery
PodiPodi - Enhance your website with PodiPodi box for visitors
Pop over that embeds a few features and even websites to your own site. An attempt to create a stickier reason to be on your site, while also allowing the visitors to be off on someone else's
Pricing A Project
Perspective on how one web agency goes about pricing work

Thank God You're Here - Attack of the foreigners

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:09:02 +1000

Pumping up the reveal, days before, nothing is left to chance or whimsy, all about showing who's on for what and whereabouts their scene will play. Host Shane Bourne making a comment about the guests all being foreigners. Which places Merrick Watts outside of Australia then. Maybe Tasmania.

Tony Martin down in the mines from a trip taking light of the aristocracy. Death and torture to the lowly miners by way of future pop music trends. Or at least fizzles on the audible sizzle sticks. English accents, oldish, of the spark down where the canaries take a long, long rest. Martin's attempt to throw off an ensembler with a spot of shooting down his accent, just a bit on the soot.

Taking that air of accents, heavier now, Cal Wilson and the sham world of mediums and clairvoyants. Wilson being the latter in this case due to girth of the kicker in the belly. Sceptical from the bang of the opening shadow flame, Wilson toys the headscarf between keying it up and letting it fall to point out the hair piece looking for a way out of the scene. She is least the only one to actually walk through the blue door and close it in scene.

Commanding the one word riposte, Franklyn Ajaye barely makes a decent bite of mince of the boxing spectacle. A natural arena for lamboasting, ranting and ravings, the short and dead responses leave the ensemble cast draining the spit buckets of empty laughs. Logic flow of troubling the troubled youth into a life of boxing proving to be the best part of the skit.

Nothing like blowing out the largest participation sport in Australia as Merrick Watts slams netball while looking for excuses to excuse the passengers stuck at an airport not unlike Avalon. Manages the situation to a fair degree of commotion, an easier time than the rest with a straight forward situation to burn his pants off through words alone.

Mediocre all-in group challenge whimpering out the doof-doof. Elbow zeros on each of the player positions on stage lets the entire moment rest dead on the disco dance floor. Clubbing wildfire to smother the nuisance, a slow dance beat croons as the piano man falls asleep on the keys, the shot glass sliding off his left cheek.

Wilson wins the game.

Soon Van

Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation - Mowing down the competition

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Wed, 27 May 2009 12:50:28 +1000

Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation - Mowing down the competition

Soon Van

Thank God You're Here - Have a cucumber sandwich

scear@yahoo.com (Soon Van) — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:59:35 +1000

No element of surprise to be had with the only real hidden gem the introductory interviews. Bob Franklin kicking about out of work as the rest of the motley crew bandy about with slow irking presence. Leading the week into the scenes, all the freshness stales as the bowels void themselves on the stage for the sake of showing exactly what will happen in a game where the unknown is the primary handshake.

Jolly pip-wot jubes and jumping jacks for the 50s flashback from Julia Zemiro. Energetic and without a pause for more than the odd glance, for comedic effect obviously, a well high hitch of the pants just under the armpits. Androgynous throughout, even the declaration of gender is questionable with the plain faced absurdity of enthusiasm.

Slowly waking up to roll out of the car, Carl Barron as the race driver takes a metre for an inch and stretches the time to where the buzzer is sorely late. No want for the pit crew, not even a tank for the fuel line.

Franklin at a best with an approach of flying right into the boardroom and stemming the ensemble cast. Quick for the throwback, the blunt attack with truth and an earnest bite keeps the flavour of the water-cooler bubbling a spring of laconic verbosity. Attitude and confidence are big cups to walk with.

Flubbing out all sorts of diplomatic faux pas, Tom Gleeson is as much a political actor as the real politicians falling asleep in parliament. Losing much in the way of direction and placement, the step to is all about it takes before the Hercules on the tarmac takes a roll down the strip.

No spoilers here as the entire plot is thrown into the head long days, the wedding reception for the drunks. Barron tipping back all the flutes in lieu of playing part in the frivolities. Gleeson up in classic drag to close out the game but not to win. Between Zemiro and Franklin, they both lose out toe Barron, still nipping at the goblets.

Soon Van

Links for 2009-05-15 [del.icio.us]

Sat, 16 May 2009 00:00:00 PDT

10 Things to Check Before Using a CAPTCHA
Before sticking a CAPTCHA on your contact form, some tips for server side validation techniques
30 Days to Become a Freelancer
Steps you could take to lead the life and work of a freelancer. First thing is to figure out ONE saleable skill before crafting the rest.
Prepend/append files to pages through .htaccess
Sticking in a file before or after a page through .htaccess. Useful for turning HTML pages into session keeping without the mess of JavaScript
inch/mm conversion chart
Simple conversion calculator/chart between centimetres/inches
Image resolution for the video monitor screen
Tips and notes on different size resolutions between monitors and DPI scales.
Sewing by hand: The back stitch
Backstitch instructions - The strongest hand stitching technique is also a quick and simple skill to master.
Simple Page Peel Effect with jQuery & CSS
Create that effect of having the top right corner of the site look like a page about to turn open
Vibram Five Fingers Shoes: The Barefoot Alternative
Look at Vibram finger shoes. Basically hard gloves for your feet, keeping the barefoot posture which helps mucho.

Links for 2009-04-27 [del.icio.us]

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:00:00 PDT

Tiny Enterprise Models Channel Quirky Star Trek Visions
Various artists take their takes on skinning and pimping out the decals on the USS Enterprise.
How many playpen balls would it take to fill your apartment?
Quickly calculate how many balls are needed to fill up an area of the room
Turning MySQL data in latin1 to utf-8
Hassles of converting a database and site mix in Latin charset to that of unicode UTF-8. Simple rule, keep it all UTF-8 from the outset
Fancy Thumbnail Hover Effect w/ jQuery
Thumbnail display where you hover over one and it floats up above the others. Much like jumping at the chance to be clicked on.
syntaxhighlighter - Google Code
Runs through a post and turns the code mark up to look nice and pretty with colours and syntax relation matching. 100% Java Script based and it doesn't care what you have on your server

Links for 2009-04-20 [del.icio.us]

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:00:00 PDT

Why So Many Retcons?
Reasons why there exists the technique known as the retcon in comics
Obtain metadata for a book given its ISBN using Amazon Web ...
Hooking into Amazon to grab metadata on a book using its ISBN