I do see a glimmer of hope for us scribes on the subject of German Riesling. We can still provide a general overview of each vintage as it comes along and point out the real stunners you want to rush greedily to obtain. Phew! Employed again! I had better get to it:

2012 German Riesling is of impressive quality. If you buy from a merchant who only stocks good stuff, like Howard Ripley, then your chances of getting a dud are extremely small. The vintage is very ripe, much like 2009 German Riesling, but with no almost no botrytis. Even the Kabinetts are often luxuriously dissolute with richness and the (sadly very few) Auslesen that were made are gloriously charged with complex late-harvest characters.

This talk of ripeness may make you worry about the acidity, but fear not! The cold middle of the absolutely awful 2012 summer (which we English types moaned about endlessly last year) charged the grapes with a fierce acidity that was retained as the grapes got impressively ripe in the late summer. Better still, as there is no botrytis to obscure things, the wines almost all show a great mineral tang that gives them a really pleasing sense of place. They may be big, but by god are they balanced and lively.

I say above that is is sad that there are few Auslesen made in the 2012 German Riesling vintage; this is because those are the things you want to buy. They are decadent entities of glorious delight, charged with candied late harvest fruit characters and fizzing with exciting acidity. These are as rich as the 2009s but almost uniformly have better balance. The 2012 Auslesen The Editor and I tried at the Howard Ripley tasting were some of the most unashamedly enjoyable wines we’ve ever drank. They will blow your mind!

The 2012 German Riesling Kabinetts and Spätlesen are so ripe I would wager that back in the dark days of less good viticulture (the early 90s and before) wines like them would have lived one or two ripeness levels higher. There is no point getting wound up about analytical perfection, as far as the sugar levels go, as they do provide lighter, less extreme and more obviously refreshing experiences than the amazing Auslesen. They are certainly a lot of fun to drink! Only some wines will deliver the olfactory orgasms of the Auslesen, but you won’t be missing much in the way of intensity. But then, you cannot have sex five times a day every day (as I tried, but failed to sustain, with a particularly androphagous girlfriend when at Oxford) and is very important to have delights that drain only so much of your vital fluids.

2012 German Trockens have benefited greatly from the ripeness of this vintage. It is also true that they have benefited from the more sophisticated, balanced manner in which winemakers view this style – they are no longer fiercely dry but usually have a bit of residual sugar, making them more harmonious. Being made from riper fruit than in the past, a choice of the producers and certainly helped in 2012, makes these wines better than in the horrific period in which all sensible non-Germans learned to loathe them. There are some wonderful and very affordable 2012 German Trockens, so this would be an ideal vintage in which to confidently dip your toe into wines of this style.

When we were going around the Howard Ripley tasting most people quite obviously enjoyed the wines as much as we did. I do not blame them. A few voices suggested the ripe, late harvest characters made these wines show a little awkwardly, making them require time to blossom. We tried a lot of the wines twice, with palates always set to analytical, and discussed all in terms of the other comments we heard. Our conclusion is that this will be a vintage that will certainly age, in most cases for quite a long time, but we think that those who like young Riesling will find it at its most charming from 2012. I can live with my charms being on the Rubenesque side, which 2012 German Riesling seems to be, but it is very rare one of these embonpoint lovelies will not thrill you with the percipience of their intercourse.

Such is the greatness of this voluptuary vintage that you will only feel you have not done well is if you have one of the better wines contemporaneously – most will stand on their own as deliciously fine wines. In order so your purchases are never overshadowed by a rival oenophile’s purchases I will tell you two from each category that outperform their brilliant cousins. I will have to briefly mention a few that are nearly as good, but I shall try to limit myself – there are so many good wines I could wax lyrical on, that this article would be too long for anyone to fight through. Here go the exceptionally effulgent 2012 German Rieslings (all prices are for six bottles in bond):

2012 German Riesling Trocken

Peter Lauer is a new producer to me but I am instantly bought by his skill with the Saar Riesling Faß 16 (£42). It is very light and elegant, with a fine Saar character. Pretty dry, heading toward fierce in terms of acidity, but balanced enough to be enjoyable drinking. If you want a light, refreshing wine for summer drinking you can hardly do better at this price.

Van Volxem’s Saar Riesling (£54) is another wine I felt Saar-y to drink. A bit more weight and sweetness than the Lauer, but still very refined and dry enough to be an easy match with food. At this price I am quite impressed with its complexity.

There are two wines I would feel ashamed not to mention. Schafer-Fröhlich’s Nahe Riesling Trocken (£48) is a wonderful expression of Nahe character with perfect restraint. Julian Haart (another new producer I will follow as avidly as his possession of a miniscule 1.5 hectares allows) makes a Trocken called Wintricher (£96) which is confidently scaled with noticeable sweetness. It is quite, quite brilliant and an utter joy to swill down as much of as your money allows, but that is the problem – it is not quite the screaming bargain that the other Trockens are.

2012 German RIESLING Kabinett

Schloss Lieser’s Brauneberger Juffer Kabinett (£51) is a brilliantly poised and refined Kabinett from this vintage that tends toward rich and ripe. It’s quite loaded with sugar but thanks to having so much acidity, some meddlesome ratbag is bound to try and ban it (as we are incapable of doing exactly what they have decided is the right thing to drink without being legally coerced into doing so – fucking public health scumbags, I fucking hate them all. Now where was I…), the balance is spot on. You can drink this as often as you feel appropriate (which the great price encourages) and you will feel enlivened, refreshed and charged with good feeling toward all men (excepting meddlesome public health ratbags).

I have never had a Kabinett from Piesport better than Julian Haart’s Piesporter Schubertslay (£60). The slopes in Piesport make ripe grapes in most vintages so I was hugely gratified that the luxuriant peachy fruit this had on the nose was matched by a wicked streak of almost wince-inducing brilliance. Julian Haart effortlessly displays his superiority to his uncle Reinhold with this and the Trocken I mention above. It is so titting marvellous I highly recommend you seek this out and do it in double quick time!

He makes bugger all and as soon as people notice quite how engorged with sensuousness and dissipation this wine is it is bound to disappear faster than good humour when a Scotsman walks into a party. What a price for such quality! If anyone seeks to curry favour with Team Elitistreview for less than the cost of paying our gas bill, then the gift of Piesporter Schubertslay would have us writing bodily function jokes for you for a period of time. Of course, sending us pickled onions is another option.

There are three 2012 German Riesling Kabinetts which nearly should be covered in opaque cellophane on the top shelf. I shall list them in order of decreasing price and also decreasing epicurism: Graacher Himmelreich from Willi Schaefer (£60), Maximin Grünhäuser Abstberg from von Schubert (£57) and Brauneberger from Fritz Haag (£54).

2012 German RIESLING SpÄtlese

Peter Lauer’s Ayler Kupp Spätlese Faß 7 (£72) is quite possibly the most coruscatingly brilliant wine we tried in a tasting of brilliant wines. We went back and tried this after some fabulously intense Auslesen and its effulgent qualities still burned brightly on our palates and in our minds. One of those qualities is undoubtedly an absolute oenology shop-load of acidity – it burned alright. But that fine, powerful acidity is matched by poised, ripe lime and lemon fruit and a wonderful set of slate characters. And even though there is so much acidity you could wonder if this is a Kabinett, the sugar levels are easily enough to make it an Auslese. This is a stupendous wine of real quality and class; Sebastian Thomas of Howard Ripley must be as jolly as a butcher to have Peter Lauer wines in his portfolio.

If anyone is ever sniffy about Robert Weil’s Kiedrich Gräfenberg Spätlese (£174) you can slap their cheek and call them a berk^[1] as they are clearly incapable of even telling their arse from a hole in the ground. I do not exaggerate when I say this was one of the most profound wine experiences of my life. Maybe I could qualify that a little by saying I have had quite a few profound wine experiences in my life, but I do not want to underplay the brilliance of this wine. It had Rheingau character of great sophistication, amazing concentration of flavour, impressive focus and a whole bed full of teddy bears could not pleasure me as much as this did. Bum-holing-amazing!

Nearly reaching these levels of dripping sensuality I can recommend the hard core pleasure Hermann Dönnhoff Niederhäuser Hermannshöhle Spätlese (£162), von Schubert’s Maximin Grünhäuser Abstberg Spätlese (£71) and Lieser Niederberg Helden Spätlese from Schloss Lieser (£63).

2012 German RIESLING Auslese

As I cannot afford any of these wines it doesn’t matter if I aim high on pricing here. There is little more I can say than that if you buy the Maximin Grünhäuser Herrenberg Auslese #25 from von Schubert (£159) or the Graacher Himmelreich Auslese #09 from Willi Schaefer (£210) I guarantee there is less chance of a rabidly socialist Guardian commenter supporting the ideals they claim by moving to Cuba or North Korea than there is of you buying better wine this year. They are, by any meaningful definition of the word, unbeatable in terms of sheer quality. I was awe-struck by them both and could not say if one is better than the other, but this is the effect a taste of Willi had on Team Elitistreview:

Nearly reaching that penetrating zenith was every other Auslese in the tasting, but here are two that will not break the bank: Brauneberger Juffer-Sonnenuhr #6 from Fritz Haag (£102) and Lieser Niederberg Helden from Schloss Lieser (£96). Don’t worry if you are broke but want Auslese – you will feel you have done tits-well if you buy these.

I feel I did tits-well to taste all these wines. So will you, if you buy some! Whether you DOA^[2] or keep these wines you’ll be having more fun than the kind of stuff politicians get in the newspaper for doing. They are great!

1. ^[1] Do you know the origin of this extremely mild insult I used to happily use at primary school? I did not know it back then, and I probably would not have understood if I did. It was originally Cockney rhyming slang: Berkshire Hunt ↩
2. ^[2] DOA: Drink On Arrival ↩

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A little discussion followed and, having seen in her pictures the undoubted artistic ability she showed, I promised to give her some spiffy Hermitage for one of her bowls. As I’m sure my readers know well, it’s a fine bowl indeed that merits the gift of Hermitage! There was a slight delay but yesterday morning I received Susan Wilk’s Tempest Bowl – feast your eyes on it:

I’m sure the tactile web is but a few years away, so you’ll be able to handle it yourselves before not too long (although I would guess it might be faster to come to Winchester for drinks and physical bowl feeling given people’s reluctance to upgrade software). Until either one of those events occurs let me inform you that the bowl feels pleasingly rough like an igneous rock; I suppose both have a fiery parturition. The inside has a slight ribbed texture that almost pulses organically.

It’s now officially one of my favourite bowls, both because of the warm generosity of Susan giving it and because of its brilliant aesthetic qualities. If you have the power of Twitter I’m sure Susan would love it if you sent her a message congratulating her on the brilliance of her piece or, who knows, maybe you could commission something by her (here’s Susan Wilk’s profile on Twitter).

Observant readers may have noticed the presence of a jar of pickled onions in one of the pictures. The best pickled onions on Earth are sold out until Christmas, but even without their presence on the market I feel in my water that pickled onions are going to be the next foodie thing. I’ve previously decried the quality of all but those you can buy at Hampshire Farmers Markets, but we got this jar from Marks and Spencer and they were excellent. Excellent value too at 85p a jar. The picture is simply acknowledgement of a job well done.

On that note, the Elitistreview Team would be happy to accept donations of quality pickled onions (or shallots). We intend to mirthfully comment on their qualities, Test Match Special-style (only with pickled onions/shallots rather than cake), in posts as we nosh through them in one sitting (only if they are up to standard!). Contact us for the address and send in those pickles!

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No, I really do not! I have just seen a photo of my chum Jeremy (the fabulously skilled winemaker) after his team won the Burgundy veterans’ touch rugby league. He is the same height as me but built like a blinking brick shit-house. Just looking at him must petrify anyone who does not already know he is lovely and I cannot imagine the difficulties he must have buying elegant, svelte suits. The point I have somewhat moved away from, is that proper vineyards tend to be on slopes and usually those slopes are frighteningly steep so as to catch as much sun as possible.

This is normally good. To grow plants at their peak of character one has to do so at what approaches the edge of their growing conditions – this is true of Pinot Noir in Burgundy and certainly so of Riesling in the Mosel. In both these cases the vines are at such extremes of their ripening conditions that the best wines are grown facing the sun; they can then catch every photon headed for them and so, relatively speaking, those vines have an easier time of it.

However, vintages like 2009 are hotter than me after climbing the hill home from shopping, The grapes in steep vineyards get even more sun than usual and, in some people’s views, they wind up getting over-ripe. This can cause low, unbalanced acidity and jammy, confected fruit flavours, if the vintage really is too hot. Whether wines have stepped over that line is a cause of much debate. Fortunately for those of you who have made it this far, Elitistreview is the home of objective judgement on wine qualities. I will tell you for certain whether this 2009 Riesling Spatlese hits the target or sails over the top, terrifying the chap next door as it pierces his garden fence. On to drinking!

Riesling Spatlese Graacher Himmelreich 2009, JJ Prum

Peachy and fleshy on the nose, most certainly, but not over the top by any means. Settled.

Indeed, it’s so classic The Editor and I found it hard to think of anything novel as we discussed it – what delight that such quality is so familiar! This exudes quality and pleasure, that fruit is gorgeously attractive and it has a wonderfully sophisticated set of slate aromas. I’m not so bothered with it anyway, but there’s hardly a hint of sulphur on this nose. Yum!

It smells as wonderfully enjoyable as it ever will. I know people go on and on about how German Riesling should be aged for eons, and I admit after a year or so they can be a bit awkward, but that is only for a short time. Most German Rieslings are at their best before the age of six, and as lively and exciting like pre-schoolers before the drag of standardised testing and the national curriculum have worn away their vivacity.

The palate is a little on the plump and buxom side, but it is no dumpy schoolgirl. Indeed, for a light white wine this has the structure of the British Museum. I found myself beginning to wonder about the acidity levels for a brief moment before my mindful skills made me aware of my stomach. Even though, moments before, I had had a spoon full of morphine to combat the screaming agony of my back and my stomach should have been as anaesthetised as an MP, it still provoked sharp pulses of pain. Good!

The acidity is just fine, then, and so is the fruit; ripe and luscious, but bright and fresh. The slate flavours add to the overall impression of harmony, as the nose suggested this is in a gigglingly enjoyable stage of development. I am sure you could age this a lot longer, but then you would miss out on the vinous equivalent to sitting on the floor, crashing toy cars in mid-air with a four year old. That is certainly the most fun I’ve had recently.

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Of course, there are many other stalls at the market and we apologise to the others we have not mentioned — there is a limit to the amount we can carry and definitely a limit to the length of even an Elitistreview blog post. There will be more in future!

King’s SOMBORNE EGGS

We are always happy to start by loading up with plenty of Kings Somborne eggs. A sign on their stand proudly proclaims their eggs have won a Radio Solent egg-tasting competition, but that’s nothing! They are essential for making a Hampwich — the ultimate Hampshire sandwich! King’s Somborne Eggs have started selling guinea fowl eggs on a regular basis which The Editor fashions into incredible Scotch eggs. Get lots — if you limit yourself to a paltry half-dozen you’ll regret it the moment one of the gloriously flavoursome orbs passes your lips.

New Forest Bee Products

Recently I have been petulantly whining on Twitter about the quality of pickled shallots and onions available to the quality-seeking pickle hunter. We have got experimental jars dotted around the kitchen but until they are ready we are never less than happy to crunch into the honey-pickled shallots from New Forest Bee Products. If you value food of character then these will titillatingly tickle your tweakables. I am hoping by the time I have finished writing the The Editor will allow me to try some of their pickled garlic with honey for the first time — I have great expectations!

Perfect pickles

Dwayne Bartram  of Perfect Pickles sells the best pickled onions known to man , but sadly only for a couple of months around Christmas. He only pickles onions when they in season and at their best and, as he does it all by hand we can allow him limits on the time he can spend peeling them and sloshing vinegar around.

The rest of the year he keeps the Elitistreview team charged with fire thanks to his various chutneys, particularly the Red Hot Tomato Chutney. As far as hedonistic delights go, larding this on a thick portion of triple creme cheese like Vignotte on top of a piece of decent seedy bread is a roller-coaster ride of flavours, textures and temperatures. The Editor tells me that it also works brilliantly with Philadelphia, perhaps justifying the existence of that cheese like little else does.

New Forest Smokery and Trout Farm

Right next door we always hope the New Forest Smokery and Trout Farm will be selling smoked eel so we can cook our favourite nursery dish, smoked eel with bacon and mash. Their Test Valley smoked eel is the best we have eaten, and the same goes for their oak-smoked brown trout, another necessary ingredient in the Hampwich. For a spiffing variation on that super sarnie we have also tried it with their  hot smoked trout and I assure you it is good enough to get you grunting.

Beechcroft Direct

Beechcroft Direct’s back bacon is consistently the best we have ever eaten and so also makes it into smoked eel, bacon and mash — it is the only bacon that can match Test Valley smoked eel in quality. This bacon also provides the meat that powers The Editor’s double spiced egg and bacon sandwich. King’s Somborne eggs only, please. Have this with their spiffing sausages, ideally Old English Pork Chipolatas for a beyond beezer brekkie.

Beechcroft’s beef has provided many of our friends, Ricard, Per and Jinke among them, with serious pleasures of the flesh. Their chickens are obscenely good, the kind of attractive bird even The Editor and I want to pull as often as possible.

Finally, we did not buy any today, but their pork cuts, from Oxford Sandy and Black pigs, go far beyond showing that pork is just not ‘the other white meat’ and transport you to new boudoirs of dissolute experience.

Meadow Cottage

Speaking of dissolute experiences, I am almost slightly hurt that no one has tried to sue me for killing their relatives with my cracking hot chocolate recipe made with Meadow Cottage Jersey cream. The cream is irresistible in its decadent simplicity, but their new salted caramel ice cream shows they can do trendy too. Qualitatively it’s vastly beyond almost all other ice creams of its idiom, with an exciting balance between sweetness and salt complemented by the glorious richness of their milk and cream.

Lainston House Hotel Bakery

There are a few bread stalls at the Hampshire Farmers Market. Our favourite is the Lainston House Hotel bakery . Their bread is all baked in the early hours of the morning just before the market, so I am always a bit surprised that the baking team, who sell the bread themselves are not totally exhausted. I think the good humour that everyone buying their bread feels gives then the jollity to manage the day with mirthful twinkles in their eyes.

They are the source of the most orgasmically fabulous pain au raisin to ever have been trapped in my hiatus hernia (because I have gulped them down with rather too much greedy enthusiasm). Avoid the hiatus hernia, if you can, but seek out any of their baked goods.

Hampshire cheeses - TUNWORTH

Hampshire Cheeses make Tunworth, the undisputed heavyweight champion of Hampshire cheeses. It is rather unfairly characterised by Raymond Blanc as the ‘best camembert in the world’. In so doing he has the temerity to suggest Tunworth doesn’t have a distinct enough a personality to stand on its own. Anyone who has had a Tunworth sold ‘ready for eating this weekend’ will know that one thing it is not short on is personality.

Sure, it is a bit like camembert, but by that token Morey-Saint-Denis would be a bit like Gevrey-Chambertin and a bit like Chambolle-Musigny. That may be fine if you are pig ignorant, but the Elitistreview team care enough to say that Tunworth is a thin, white, thin-rinded cheese of grassy, nutty and sweetly creamy flavours (we care about Morey, too^[1]). Its personality is primarily one of complexity in the array of flavours it shows, which become more sophisticated as it ripens. The makers like them quite ripe, but I would not get too worked up about leaving yours for weeks on a radiator in the sun — I have loved every one I have had, whether  firm or flaccid.

They have begun producing a second cheese, Winslade, although it won’t be on sale until late summer at the earliest. It is described as a Vacherin Mont d’Or-style cheese, which I think sounds spiffing!

Broughton Water Buffalo

We did not buy anything this time, but one of many reasons to get to the Winchester Hampshire Farmers Market early is to get a water buffalo burger from Broughton Water Buffalo before they sell out. Ask for yours medium-rare, load it up with chilli jam and smirk as if you’ve just discovered delight. Broughton supply their marvellous meat to the beezer Bengal Sage, and have also supplied us with many quality cuts, as well as lesser (but no less worthy) portions of meat. Just make sure to cook them more slowly and gently than you would do with beef.

Hill Farm Juice

Long time readers will know that here at Elitistreview we despise lacklustre wines; we simply don’t drink stuff unless it is throbbing with interest, or at least pulsating. Sadly, writing bodily function jokes about food and wine does not earn enough to allow us daily consumption of several bottles of appropriately engaging wine. This does not mean we are bereft of throbbingly compelling fluid, thanks to Hill Farm Juice .

Their apple juices thrill and fill me, much more so than almost any wines at £10 or less; it is simply far more interesting than those wines, whilst being a lot less expensive. I do not need alcohol as much as I need edification, and Hill Farm Apple Juice deliver. I admit that it is also handy that the only other drinks close to the Broughton Water Buffalo burger stall are Mr Whitehead’s ciders and I do not always need cider with my breakfast (the apple juice is better too!)

The Tomato Stall

I have written about The Tomato Stall’s Isle of Wight tomatoes recently and after trying today’s haul of dimensionally varied, multi-hued fruit I am no less convinced that these are the best tomatoes one can get in the UK. They grow varieties chosen for excellent flavour and carefully harvest them when they are in peak condition. Consequently, when they are sitting on the stall in Winchester they can even convince you that plants other than Pinot Noir vines, can be beautiful.

Lyburn Farmhouse CheeseS

The other great lactobacillus products of Hampshire come from Lyburn Farmhouse Cheesemakers. Clearly it is impossible to compare the hard cheeses of Lyburn with the soft Tunworth, so they are both the best ever! I suggest you follow our normal course and, in addition to your Tunworth, buy a kilo of Lyburn Gold and plead with whoever is the equivalent of The Editor in your purchasing team to let you buy a wedge of Winchester Mature or Old Winchester. The Lyburn Gold is simply scrumptious with its creamy, silken texture and your editor really should capitulate and let you revel in the wonderful mature complexity of one of the other two. (Stop whining, Davy! ED)

 Woodlands Jersey Beef

Our final stop on this tour of the Winchester Hampshire Farmers Market is Woodlands Jersey Beef. I’ve written fourteen posts on this site about them (here they all are). In my most recent post, I summarize it best, calling it ‘quite possibly the best beef there is’. If you cannot make it to a Hampshire Farmers Market to buy this beef it is on sale in their farm shop. I often pity foreigners, perhaps most so when I contemplate that the vast majority of them will never eat Woodlands Jersey Beef. Make sure you don’t suffer the same fate!

Meeting the stallholders and purchasing their produce is pure pleasure; the only probable pain of your visit to Hampshire Farmers Market is hauling your bulging sacks of goodness home. When you get them there, I suggest you put your ice cream in the freezer, grab some tomatoes, a glass of apple juice before contemplating the glories of the shopping experience, and those to come when it is time to eat!

1. ^[1] Just to make it clear a winemaker there (who I’m too scared to name): we  really care about Morey too so please don’t thump us! ↩

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It is true, that not so many years ago I raved about something much flasher: Ravida. The thing was, back then it was not so flash. Many years after I started buying it as a seventeen year old going to school in Oxford it still cost £12.99 for a 750ml bottle. That is not so bad for a keen lunatic to use for lubricating most delights without squandering all the Severe Disablement Allowance. It was very good, not the nec ultra plus but good and priced accordingly.

Sadly, news of unbeatable products at good prices spreads like a melanoma to all those who want to price me out of having a tits time of it. Last time I dared go near the burning intensity of the price label on a 500ml bottle of Ravida it was £31.95. Still good oil, for sure, but at that price it is shocking value. The Elitistreview oil purchases were sourced from ever more disparate suppliers, our net cast ever more widely in hope, until about a year ago.

The Editor, as so often these days, gets the credit for this as it was he who suggested we buy some Sainbury’s Taste The Difference Sicilian olive oil (Val di Mazara DOP) as we desperately needed some olive oil right now and this is seriously the best we can possibly afford, Davy! We bought it, we tasted it again, we tasted it on a selection of artfully chosen breads and, good god, it was lovely!

Now I will be honest and say Sainsbury’s TTD Sicilian olive oil is not, when subjected to fiercely analytical tasting scrutiny, quite as good as Ravida. But you would have to pay more frighteningly close attention than I’m capable of, to notice any qualitative difference when scoffing something as glorious as Isle of Wight tomatoes with oil, salt and pepper. I would happily drink the oil left on the plate, indeed I frequently do, with not a scintilla less pleasure than if it had been my long gone favourite Ravida.

So, today Elitistreview is not peddling the pointy pinnacle, or even selling the slopes right before it, but rather the flatter bit just before that where the bagpipe player groans and children pose for photographs. However, at £5.99 for 500 ml the view is god-damned picturesque and it’s not as if you escape the bagpipe music even if you pay someone a fortune to carry you the few metres more to the summit.

Get out to your local Sainsbury’s and buy Taste The Difference Sicilian Val di Mazara DOP olive oil, you’ll bloody love us for it! In an act of sheer stupidity we have not arranged any commission from Sainsbury’s for this blog post – even though it’s possibly the most commercial, electric hot tip I’ve ever written…

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