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<channel>
	<title>He Said, She Said</title>
	<link>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog</link>
	<description>Couples Counseling with Ellen and Paul</description>
	<pubDate>Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
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	<language>en</language>
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		<title>Act Now To Treat Veterans</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ellenandpaul/~3/qIuzrWH6FsY/</link>
		<comments>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/06/03/act-now-to-treat-veterans/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:01:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>paul</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/06/03/act-now-to-treat-veterans/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Paul Chute LMSW
  
I conducted an on-air interview with WDET (public radio} yesterday (June 3 2008) talking about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as related to our military veterans.  The U.S. Army in their initial assessment projected that 38.000 returning veterans, more than two years ago, would suffer the effects of PTSD.  In a recent report [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Times New Roman">By Paul Chute LMSW</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">I conducted an on-air interview with WDET (public radio} yesterday (June 3 2008) talking about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as related to our military veterans.  The U.S. Army in their initial assessment projected that 38.000 returning veterans, more than two years ago, would suffer the effects of PTSD.  In a recent report from the U.S. Army, they now estimate that 300,000 returning veterans will be diagnosed with PTSD.  Unfortunately, the numbers have nowhere to go but up. According to a report by the Associated Press, this number could rise to as high as one million.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">“As the war continues, whether you believe it should or not, it is imperative that we begin to actively treat these returning heroes.”  According to Terry Jones, a spokesman for the Pentagon on health issues, there are only 1,431 mental health professionals in uniform.  Roughly 20,000 more full-time and part-time professionals including psychiatrists, psychologists, psychiatric nurses, social workers and substance abuse counselors work in the VA system.   </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">Mental health professionals, including myself, believe that we are headed to a monumental mental health crisis that neither the military nor the VA is equipped to handle.  Many civilian mental health professionals are donating their time to help veterans.  Although we have more than 400,000 mental health professionals certainly many of them are not trained to deal specifically with PTSD. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">I believe it is imperative that we, as a nation, must take care of our veterans.  No matter how you feel about the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, which must be resolved politically. I strongly believe we have a moral obligation to provide our veterans with the best mental health services available in this country.  This includes fighting the stigma and falsehoods that exist within our military system about mental health issues.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">Of a 2007 U.S Army survey given to active duty and reserve members, 37 percent say it would be to embarrassing to report PTSD symptoms:  34 percent indicate it would harm their careers:  51 percent indicate that members of their unit would lose confidence in them: 58 percent indicate that their units would treat them differently:  43 percent noted that “my leaders would blame me for my problems” and 53 percent indicate that they would be seen as weak.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">The military seems to be feeling some pressure to address this problem as they have changed the application process for security clearances, deleting questions referencing any past mental health issues to include visits to mental health professionals.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">I believe we must be proactive and address this issue now, and prepare for the inevitable.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Perils of Deployment</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ellenandpaul/~3/Y38tkxzDOh0/</link>
		<comments>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/06/03/perils-of-deployment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:59:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>paul</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/06/03/perils-of-deployment/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Paul Chute LMSW
March 20, 2008
  
I’ve spent a significant amount of time over the past few months talking and promoting the battle that our veterans face returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan.  The media in the Detroit area has given me great support on this issue.  I’ve met people in the streets who have read [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Times New Roman">By Paul Chute LMSW</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">March 20, 2008</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">I’ve spent a significant amount of time over the past few months talking and promoting the battle that our veterans face returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan.  The media in the Detroit area has given me great support on this issue.  I’ve met people in the streets who have read the articles and seen the television interviews and they are always supportive.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">I believe that most people do care about our veterans and believe that the government is obligated to care for them.  But alarming statistics continue to come to light.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">As reported in the latest issue of Disabled American Veteran, one in four of all the homeless people in this country are veterans.  According to recent reports from many news outlets including CNN and MSNBC, women in combat are suffering significantly higher rates of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  One in six returning veterans suffers from PTSD.  And yet, less than one-third receive treatment.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">Things appear so bad but yet, where is the outrage?</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">It is a difficult issue.  We do care about are veterans. I believe that.   But when things become so out of whack in our own lives it’s difficult for us to care about anything other than ourselves.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">The rates of PTSD and other severe issues will confront this country for many years.  This isn’t a political statement in any way. This is about doing the right thing.   We must, as a country, demand that our veterans be first and foremost on the minds of our politicians. Our elected officials must take responsibility and use great restraint before we send our men and women in harm’s way.  We must demand that our government consistently monitor and fund the programs that veterans need.  We must find within ourselves the power that veterans have fought for since the beginning.  That power is the freedoms we possess today.  It is imperative that we take responsibility as citizens.  We are the ones who have the power to decide our veteran’s fate.  If we are an informed populous and actively pursue the responsibility of citizenship by demanding a voice,I can only believe that we will be a better nation. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">It’s hard to care about others when we struggle from day-to-day in our own lives.  But if we don’t, our veterans will again suffer silently, like those from others wars, and we will gather statistics and report PTSD numbers  and homeless rates and go about our day thinking someone should do something about this.    </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Above the Law</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ellenandpaul/~3/Kt7yJJK6W2o/</link>
		<comments>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/03/24/above-the-law/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Mar 2008 01:36:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ellen</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/03/24/above-the-law/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[She Said:  It really makes me wonder about the recent sex scandals in the news.  Today, the mayor of Detroit was charged with 8 felony counts regarding lies and perjury surrounding an affair that he had with his chief of staff.  The mayor:

had an affair
fired the assistant police chief because he refused to protect the mayor&#8217;s secret
ultimately [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>She Said</strong>:  It really makes me wonder about the recent sex scandals in the news.  Today, the mayor of Detroit was charged with 8 felony counts regarding lies and perjury surrounding an affair that he had with his chief of staff.  The mayor:</p>
<ol>
<li>had an affair</li>
<li>fired the assistant police chief because he refused to protect the mayor&#8217;s secret</li>
<li>ultimately lost a whistle blower trial when he was accused of wrongdoing</li>
<li>got the city council to go along with paying $9 million dollars of City of Detroit money to the whistle blowers to continue to protect the cover-up</li>
<li>was doing fine until 14,000 text messages were published by the Detroit Free Press that confirmed the existence of the original affair.</li>
</ol>
<p>So much money, so many resources, so much time and strife and agony and terrible publicity for our city all because this man, Kwame Kilpatrick, felt ENTITLED to go beyond the law&#8211;the moral law and the governmental law.  We see this in relationships on a daily basis&#8212;and why not??? We have examples from our top governmental officials.</p>
<p><strong>He Said:</strong>  We are nation founded on laws.  We have seen an unrelenting attack on our established law by the Bush administration which is unprecedented.  This attack, unfortunately, has trickled down throughout the country seemingly always Republican but Democrats are gaining quickly. In my hometown of Detroit, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick has taken arrogance to the next level.  He now is facing felony charges.  I truly believe in &#8220;innocent until proven guilty.&#8221; However, I don&#8217;t see how a public trial will be anything but a negative for the city of Detroit.  Resign mayor and fight your battle  as you have a right to do based on our established law.  You can&#8217;t change it to fit your needs.  You can&#8217;t manipulate laws to gain more power.  Show me that you are a true man of honor and spare the citizens of Detroit another black eye.  Step down, fight your battle and move on.  But don&#8217;t leave the city in ruins.  We don&#8217;t deserve your collateral damage. Maybe you should join the Bush Administration.  You would fit right in. </p>
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		<title>Pentagon reports increase in Reserve, Guard suicides</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ellenandpaul/~3/cbThoC-JmMA/</link>
		<comments>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/02/12/pentagon-reports-increase-in-reserve-guard-suicides/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Feb 2008 01:23:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>paul</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/02/12/pentagon-reports-increase-in-reserve-guard-suicides/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most than half of all veterans who took their own lives were members of the National Guard or Reserves according to a Associated Press report.
  A Department of Veterans Affairs analysis of ongoing research of deaths among veterans of both wars — obtained by The Associated Press — found that Guard or Reserve members accounted [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Most than half of all veterans who took their own lives were members of the National Guard or Reserves according to a Associated Press report.</p>
<p>  A <a href="http://www.va.gov/">Department of Veterans Affairs</a> analysis of ongoing research of deaths among veterans of both wars — obtained by The Associated Press — found that Guard or Reserve members accounted for 53 percent of the veteran suicides from 2001, when the war in Afghanistan began, through the end of 2005.</p>
<p>As Guard and Reserve participation increases in Iraq and Afghanistan these numbers will continue to rise. </p>
<p>At certain times in 2005, members of the Guard and Reserve made up nearly half the troops fighting in Iraq. Overall, they were nearly 28 percent of all U.S. military forces deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan or in support of the operations, according to Defense Department data through the end of 2007.</p>
<p>Obviously, this is a serious trend that continues to escalate.  As the Pentagon continues to rely on Guard and Reserve troops to fill forward positions, mental health issues will significantly increase.  It is imperative that we begin to aggressively address these difficult mental health issues. </p>
<p>Veterans need to know it&#8217;s ok to seek help.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a serious mental health issue that can be effectively treated. </p>
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		<item>
		<title>ABC’S OF SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ellenandpaul/~3/sAEjDe0345c/</link>
		<comments>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/01/30/abc%e2%80%99s-of-successful-relationships/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:27:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ellen</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/?p=7</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ABC’S OF SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS:Acceptance, Boundaries and Communication  By Ellen Chute, LMSW, ACSW Pick up any popular magazine or daily newspaper and chances are, you’ll see front page cover stories about the rocky relationships of everyone from elected officials to famous (or should I say infamous) Hollywood celebrities. It is clear that we are fascinated by the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>ABC’S OF SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS:</strong><strong><em>Acceptance, Boundaries and Communication </em></strong> <strong>By Ellen Chute, LMSW, ACSW</strong><strong> </strong>Pick up any popular magazine or daily newspaper and chances are, you’ll see front page cover stories about the rocky relationships of everyone from elected officials to famous (or should I say infamous) Hollywood celebrities. It is clear that we are fascinated by the intimate, and often sordid, sad details, of the personal lives of those who, at least outwardly, seem to <em>have it all. </em>What quickly becomes undeniable is that rich or poor, well-known or unknown, relationships inevitably hit rough patches that expose our innermost vulnerabilities.   As scary as that sounds, I believe that our true character is revealed within the context of relationships. When the initial honeymoon phase of any relationship ends (and believe me, it will), we discover whether or not we are able to <strong><em>accept</em> </strong>our partner for who they are and if we have the ability to be tolerant of our partner’s unique habits and issues.  This important relational skill draws from very important parts of our ‘selves.’  In order to be tolerant of another’s comments or actions, we must have the ability not to take things personally.  For instance, in my marriage to my husband, Paul, he often forgets to do things I ask of him. I’m sure many of you can relate to this scenario! But I must be able to tell myself that his forgetfulness has nothing to do with whether he cares about me or how much he loves and respects me. I need to stop and consider that perhaps he had a really busy day, got bogged down with other responsibilities or even started but didn’t finish doing whatever tasks I had requested of him. It is so easy to take things personally, especially if I ask him numerous times and he still forgets (but somehow manages to remember those things that are important to him)!  However I need to remember that it will not be helpful for our marriage if I take what seems like dismissive behavior toward me personally.  It will only foster anger, resentment, and corrode the other overwhelmingly positive feelings we have for each other.   This leads me to the second necessary relational skill any successful relationship must have which is the ability to set <em>boundaries</em>. Back to my example, if Paul has ‘forgotten’ my request for the tenth time in two weeks, my response must be straightforward and to the point. Pouting, nagging, or criticizing him may be unpleasant for him (not to mention for me), but are general enough to typically be ignored. My response must instead be behavior changing. Since every relationship and couple are different, I must be able to recognize what I must do to elicit the response or action I desire. For me, in my relationship with Paul, a conversation about how it hurts me when I feel I’m being disregarded or dismissed every time he forgets my requests will usually provoke behavior change on his part. When you are able to set boundaries, it means that you insist on behavior change, and that you know that you can impact what has become a negative situation in your mind in a positive way.  And how is this done? With straightforward, simple <em>communication. </em>Talk to one another lovingly and respectfully, not in anger or frustration. Speak clearly and honestly. When you say exactly what you mean, it leaves little wiggle room for confusion or misunderstanding. </p>
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		<title>INVISIBLE WAR WOUNDS</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ellenandpaul/~3/LS3UsY-9Plc/</link>
		<comments>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/01/29/invisible-war-wounds/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jan 2008 23:58:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ellen</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/?p=6</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[INVISIBLE WAR WOUNDS: Veterans Become Prisoners Back Home to the Hidden Pain of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder By Paul Chute, LMSW 
Much has been written about the war in Iraq, with many of the reports focusing on casualties and deaths.  But there are hidden wounds that exist which often don’t surface until soldiers actually leave the war [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong><font face="Times New Roman">INVISIBLE WAR WOUNDS: </font></strong><strong><em><font face="Times New Roman">Veterans Become Prisoners Back Home to the Hidden Pain of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder</font></em></strong><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><strong><font face="Times New Roman">By Paul Chute, LMSW</font></strong><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">Much has been written about the war in Iraq, with many of the reports focusing on casualties and deaths.  But there are hidden wounds that exist which often don’t surface until soldiers actually <em>leave</em> the war zone and unexpectedly find themselves in harm’s way on the home front in the hidden battlefield of their mind</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">As a psychotherapist, relationship expert and war veteran, I know from professional as well as my own personal experience that the invisible yet very real wound is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">PTSD is an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder" title="Anxiety disorder">anxiety disorder</a> that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. It is a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_trauma" title="Psychological trauma">psychological trauma</a>. </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman">As it relates to combat, PTSD was first documented during World War I under the now familiar term, shell shock. In World War II, PTSD was commonly referred to as battle or combat fatigue. But it wasn’t until the Vietnam War that the effects of PTSD began to be significantly studied and documented.  Combat tours in Vietnam were usually a year in duration with soldiers in a heightened state of alert 24/7.  When they returned home, they began struggling with enormous mental health issues and the VA system was inadequately prepared to help them. </font><font face="Times New Roman"> </font><font face="Times New Roman">As a psychotherapist, I treat combat veterans suffering from PTSD and can approach the disorder from the unique vantage point of my professional training as a therapist, and also as a former non-commissioned officer in charge with air force special operations. I conducted classified assignments from 1980 to 1988 and am a member of the Disabled American Veterans.  Having gone through treatment for PTSD myself, I’m able to connect deeply with vets.  We speak the same language; I know, all too well, where they’ve been and what they are experiencing.   </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">Currently, one in six veterans returning Iraq and Afghanistan suffer from some form of PTSD.  Although the Department of Veterans Affairs has made significant advances in the treatment of this mental health issue, many are not seeking treatment.  </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">Many veterans I work with voiced concerns about seeking treatment for PTSD, fearing it would hurt their military careers. Individuals also avoid treatment because they feel they are letting down their buddies.  Others simply believe they can handle it.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">I can relate. I was one of those people that thought they could handle it. Unfortunately, PTSD handled me.  I suffered through a divorce, addiction and job losses. It wasn’t until I met my future wife Ellen that I was able to feel safe enough to get help. I found a wonderful therapist who helped me through my significant traumas and received tremendous support from family and friends that I did not know existed.</font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman">My message to a veteran who is suffering in silence is simple and straightforward. IT IS OK TO GET HELP.  There is a support system available to you. There are new techniques and advances that effectively treat PTSD.  It is up to you to take the first step.  </font></p>
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		<title>Sean Young Enters Rehab</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ellenandpaul/~3/0qdd11QEG88/</link>
		<comments>http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/2008/01/29/sean-young-enters-rehab/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jan 2008 23:49:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>ellen</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://ellenandpaul.com/blog/?p=5</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ He Said:  Unfortunately, rehab has come to be an excuse for many things that ail us.  But, it truly is a credit to Sean that she is able to get the help she needs, and not use her addition as an excuse for her behaviors.  Let’s give Sean two thumbs up for her efforts at [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Arial"> </font><font face="Arial"><strong>He Said:  </strong>Unfortunately, rehab has come to be an excuse for many things that ail us.  But, it truly is a credit to Sean that she is able to get the help she needs, and not use her addition as an excuse for her behaviors.  Let’s give Sean two thumbs up for her efforts at creating a better life for herself!</font><strong><font face="Arial"> </font></strong><font face="Arial"><strong>She Said: </strong>Addiction is a chronic relapsing disease!!  It should be no shock that many who suffer from addiction have relapses.  For those in the public eye, the relapses are also in the public eye.  I give Sean a lot of credit for getting the help she needs at this time.  The goal of successful recovery is minimizing the length and effects of the relapse.</font></p>
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