One of the blessings of this time set apart in self-isolation is that my girl seems to be living my childhood. Stores closed in the evenings and on Sundays. Lots of time at home, riding bikes around the neighbourhood, trying to do cartwheels, no rushing to after school lessons or juggling competing activities, and slowing down the pace of our family life.

I kind of like it.

When I was a kid, Sundays were my favourite. Often, my Great Aunt would come over after church, and play Ad-Lib with my mom. She’d bring carrot salad and mom would make dinner in the oven. A beef roast or a pork roast, or, one of our favourites – Great Grandma Susanna’s Chicken & Rice.

This chicken & rice? It’s a recipe of resilience, friends. Perfect for this time.

I grew up hearing stories of how my father’s family had fled from their village near Odessa during the Russian Revolution, lost everything they owned, and started again across North America. Great Grandma Susanna’s chicken and rice is a recipe that, family history says, came with her from Russia to the Canadian prairies and was a Sunday staple in our home. I never knew my Great Grandmother, but, having eaten her food over my lifetime I feel that in a way, I do. (When a relative told me that my version of Russian Cotleta & mushroom sauce – another one that I just know by heart – tastes just like Great Grandma’s, it was the best.)

Recipes, and the memories that shared meals carry, help our stories live on.  Today, this recipe is comfort food to nourish my own family. And my girl who carries Susanna as a middle name knows her heritage through food.

This is a delicious, comfort food recipe, especially on a grey day! Feel free to make it your own – it has likely had many variations over the last century of being shared. It’s only 5 ingredients (plus salt & pepper), 7 steps, and really easy-peasy for a weekend (or a work-from-home weekday) meal – which means that you can actually play a game, relax and enjoy your family.

Grandma Susanna’s Chicken & Rice

Serves 4 (with lunch leftovers)

1 1/2 cups uncooked rice
14 – 16 allspice berries
1 medium onion, diced
3 cups chicken stock OR the equivalent bouillon (we use Better Than Bouillon Chicken) and 3 cups boiling water (for some reason, the bouillon version is tastier)
2 – 3 lbs of chicken pieces, bone-in, skin-on (basically, the amount your family will eat, for the meal and for whatever leftovers you would like – extra fat trimmed off.) Our family prefers chicken thighs, but use what you like!
Seasoned Salt (Lawry’s is MSG-free)
Pepper

1. Preheat oven to 375 F.
2. Lightly grease a large baking dish. I use a stoneware roaster that is 9” x 13” x 3”.
3. Combine the rice, allspice berries, onion and chicken stock in the pan.
4. Place chicken pieces evenly around the pan, on top of the rice mixture.
5. Sprinkle generously with seasoned salt & pepper.
6. Cover with tinfoil, shiny side down, and bake for 1 hour.
7. After an hour, remove the tin foil so that the chicken can brown – approx. 30-45 minutes. The water should have fully evaporated & the chicken should be golden brown – and hopefully, you’ve got some yummy crispy rice around the edges of the pan – they’re what we all want in our house. Oh, and don’t eat the allspice berries. Just discard them as you eat dinner. If you accidentally eat one, you’ll know why.

Click here to download the recipe!

The post On Heritage, Resilience & Comfort Food appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

Okay, friend. I promised you another “make it from memory” easy dish. This is basic, feed the family, weeknight, life-in-a-pandemic, use-what-you-have cooking. No fancy ingredients. Easy steps.

Hopefully, your family liked the last one – one of our family’s standbys – an easy-peasy Burrito Bowl recipe. This is another one-pot, truly easy meal – using Italian sausage or ground beef or turkey – whatever is in your freezer. SO EASY. You may very well already have all the ingredients in your freezer, cupboard or pantry!

And please, share your own “made from memory” recipes in the comments below, and share a bit of inspiration with us.

So, here we go. 8 steps (including cleaning out your veggie drawer), 7 ingredients, 30 minutes, and enough leftovers for a great lunch the next day. Winner, winner, yummy dinner.

One-Pot Saucy Italian Noodles

Serves 4 with generous leftovers for lunch.

1. Inspect your veggie drawer for veggies that need to be used – especially things like mushrooms, zucchini, bell peppers or spinach.
2. In a large dutch oven pot, over medium-high heat, brown 1 ½ lbs of protein of your choice – ground beef, turkey or Italian sausage (we love Italian sausage, squeezed out of its casing). If there is a lot of fat, drain some off, but leave some behind to help sautee the veggies.
3. While the meat cooks, dice one onion, along with the veggies you discovered – slice mushrooms, dice zucchini and peppers, and add to the pot as you go. Be generous with the veggies (especially if you’re adding spinach) – they reduce down quite a bit, and add huge nutritional value!
4. Add 1 – 2 cloves of garlic to this mixture, and stir in, letting it cook for a minute or two.
5. Stir a 650ml jar of pasta sauce into the meat and veggie mixture.
6. Add ½ – 1 cup of dry noodles – macaroni or penne work best (we always use gluten-free.) If your pot is packed with veggies, feel free to use the lesser amount of noodles. If your family is hungry, use the greater amount, or a little bit more. Just add more liquid in step 7.
7. Add water to the pasta sauce jar about 2/3 of the way, put the lid on, and shake it up to clean out the jar and get all that saucy goodness. Add this to the pot, making sure the noodles are covered with liquid. If they aren’t quite covered, add a little more water.
8. Simmer covered on medium-low heat for approximately 20 minutes, or until the noodles are softened and liquid is absorbed. Make sure to stir intermittently, so that the food doesn’t stick to the bottom.

Serve with parmesan cheese on top, and if you found a bit of lettuce and tomatoes while the noodles were cooking, make a salad!

Click here to download the recipe!

Bonus recipe – for those feeding hungry teenagers:

Mama T’s Garlic Toast

Soften ½ cup of butter, and add 4 cloves of minced garlic, 1/4 tsp salt, mashing it well. Let it rest for a half-hour to let the flavours blend.

Spread on hamburger buns, sliced French bread – whatever you’ve got – and place on a cookie sheet, under the broiler, on a low setting. When the top is bubbly and browned, your garlic toast is done. If you want to be fancy-ish add a little dried parsley and some parmesan cheese.

Leftover butter can be refrigerated for a few weeks if you have any!

The post Made From Memory appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

Friend, these people I live with. Every single day they need to eat. Okay, so do I, but I remember with some fondness the days before I had a family of sitting down in front of the evening news with a hardboiled egg on a piece of buttered toast for dinner. No other opinions to consider about what was for dinner and who wanted what.

I was raised by a Home Economics teacher, so was blessed with learning how to make a meal budget, and how to make a food budget stretch. We eat what’s on sale, and plan our meals around that. We also try to have a really solid balance between vegetables, starches, and proteins. For whatever reason though, right now? I’m so done with it all.

Now, to be fair, I have a very non-picky family. They’ll eat almost anything that I prepare but lately, in the midst of this world crisis, I think we’ve just gotten tired of it all. Anyone else? Some friends in the same boat encouraged me to share some of my tried-and-true, family-friendly, easy-peasy, good leftovers meals with you so that you have some new ideas. And, in turn, I’m going to ask you to share some of YOUR favourite, cook-from-memory meals, because I need inspiration too, clearly! Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll post a new recipe. You share yours. Our families rejoice. Sound good?

Here’s an easy one to start – and you probably have all the ingredients already. 8 steps and about 25 minutes. Simple!

One-Pot Burrito Bowl

Serves 4 generously (with leftovers for lunch the next day)

1. Brown 1 lb of ground beef in a Dutch Oven pot, over medium-high heat.
2. As the meat browns, dice and add 1 onion, and mince and add 2 cloves of garlic. If you have green/red/yellow/orange peppers in your fridge, dice a couple of those too, and throw them in,to add in some great veggies! Cook till onions and peppers are softened, but not cooked right through.
3. Drain the fat off of the meat mixture, but not all of it – it will help the rice not get too sticky.
4. Stir in 1 cup of raw, white rice (we prefer basmati.) Incorporate it into the mixture and let it fry into the meat and onion for a minute or two.
5. Stir in one packet of taco seasoning (roughly ¼ cup if you make your own, or buy it in the large jar like I do), and 1 ½ cups of your preferred salsa.
6. Add enough water to cover this mixture, cover, and reduce the heat to low-medium. Simmer for approximately 10 minutes. Stir every so often, making sure it doesn’t stick to the bottom of the pot.
7. At the 10 minute point, stir in 1 1/2 cups of frozen corn (no need to thaw) and one can of drained and rinsed black beans.
8. Simmer, uncovered for another 10 – 15 minutes, until the rice is cooked through and water is absorbed. Check it and stir every so often, making sure it doesn’t stick to the bottom of the pot.

Serve burrito bowls as you prefer – right in the bowl with sour cream, shredded cheese and sliced avocado. We also love a fresh lime squeezed on top and a little cilantro. Or, use it is a burrito filling in a tortilla shell. I love my burrito bowl rice filling on top of a bed of crunchy shredded lettuce, with a few oven-warmed tortilla chips for scooping.

Note: we also love a green salad alongside this, with tomatoes and cucumbers. Mash some avocado into a bit of ranch dressing to make an avocado ranch, and it’s the perfect side!

Easy-peasy.

Click here to download the recipe!

The post When You’re Tired of Making Dinner appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

What a weird Spring, friends.

This weird hasn’t been totally unfamiliar to me, though. This season has felt an awful lot like a season four years ago. It’s so like the weeks and months leading up to the first day of Spring, when we watched my Dad’s life on earth end. Living in palliative care is a hard mercy, friend. It’s a state of the now and not yet, and not really wanting it to be over because the loss is too big, but also wanting the grief and loss to be over.

I wasn’t ready to lose him. I wanted my old life back. The life that I knew that was predictable with annoying, but reliable, daily phone calls interrupting our dinner-time. With just knowing he was there as my greatest cheerleader.

We did lose him, though. And we worked through the grief. I realized that my identity had changed by losing him. I made one the best choices of my life and went to grief counselling through hospice. I did art grief therapy. I healed and grew. Every March 21^st, I am still sad and I grieve, but life after Dad is rich – even though his absence here leaves a huge gap.

Back in mid-March, the last week in my office before settling in at home, I had a moment. I just wanted my old life back. I wanted to go pick up my daughter at school and take her for a snack at our local Mennonite bakery. I wanted to plan Easter parties. I wanted to go on the vacation that we’d booked and paid for. I wanted to do the things we’d been planning at work. The sadness was overwhelming.

It was like too many pieces that needed sorting out. Too many scattered thoughts that needed space and time and the opportunity to land, like a life-sized game of 52 PickUp. Saying good-bye to things we weren’t ready to let go. Confusion. Loss. Not knowing what comes next.

That week, as this world pandemic really hit home, my husband and I realized there was a familiarity to the grief we were feeling. It was that exact same feeling from four-years ago. Realizing everything was going to be different and that we were walking through a loss. But also realizing that it was going to be okay on the other side – even though it would hurt. We’d find a new normal. That all things would work together for good – even through the pain.

I’ve learned that we have to go through ugly seasons. Seasons of pushing through the dirt and the sad. I’ve also learned that we can be intentional about planting reminders of hope. So, on the first weekend of April, after telling the truth about our grief, we found the ground was thawed and it was time for pansies.

In my world, pansies are a symbol of hope. Pansies are my slightly pacifist annual war-cry on winter. Every single year, when the maple sap flows and I’m completely fed-up and DONE with snow and ice and misery, I buy pansies and I plant them everywhere. So, when the sun shone unseasonably warm on that weekend, our family jumped in the van and drove five minutes out to the country in search of these tiny, cheery bits of life. Fortunately, greenhouses haven’t been closed in this pandemic – it was just a very different, physically distant experience. Normally, I do this alone. This year, though, all three of us needed this sign of hope.

My wee girl, walked around the greenhouse, empty of people but full of new life. It was hard to get her to leave. My beloved cheered up at the scent of growing plants. Despite world crisis, pots and flats of little pansy faces landed up in my trunk and some of the sweetest purple and white Alyssum tagged along. Glory. Spring.

Since unseasonably cold weather has replaced unseasonably warm weather this week, the pots are covered up with sheets of burlap, but I let them see the sun every day and this weekend they should be released to thrive. Every time I look at them, I see life, even though the rest of the landscape is only showing tiny hints of spring and looks relatively dead.

It’s appropriate that this season of life matches the season of the year. Although things appear bleak, there is life. Full, amazing life, right there under the dirt. The pansies might look scrawny right now, but give them a few weeks, and the right conditions for growth and they’ll be thriving.

The day of the epic pansy-planting, we planted peas too, Sweet Girl and I. I told her that she needed to press them, just lightly, tucking them under their dirt-blanket, give them some water, and that one day we’d look out and these “pea babies” will have woken up.

Just like us.

Sometimes, the dirt blanket is heavy, and the pressure to live is intense. We’re all in that place right now. Kind of like the bursting out of the seed and pressing through to find the light. On that greenhouse day, I woke up and chose to plant life. The dirt is still there, and it’ll never truly be all gone, but I poked my head up out of it because the warmth of the sun told me it was time.

And Dad? Well, he’s more alive than ever. We know it. Heaven is his new home and I know he’s just waiting for us to get there.

We’re still in the ‘dirt’ of earth, but he’s not. Life is hard, but God’s mercies are new every morning for us, friend. New. Every. Morning. His faithfulness to us is so great. So, I’m planting pansies as reminders that there is so much life yet to be lived, now in the midst of grief and crisis, and long after this season ends.

The post On Planting Pansies appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

When I chose our Ellen’s Picks book, Praying Women by Sheila Walsh for this season, I had no idea that the world was, basically, going to blow up. I promise.

Timely though, right?

Funny enough, the first thing that this book in this season (combined with my very convincing AWESOME coach, Gillian) convinced me to do was to ask for prayer. I’ve long felt guilt over asking for prayer for our business and for our family. It felt legitimate to do so when I was a missionary, but owning a business? Doesn’t seem like the spot for a prayer meeting, does it?

It actually does, though. In case you aren’t familiar with it, I lead a faith-focused social enterprise clearly developed and positioned not for my family to grow wealthy but for Kingdom good. My family, with our own unique circumstances and challenges, was on the frontlines of this without a team behind us to support us, praying for us, knowing what was really going on. Not very smart, right? Friend, I know better.

The team I get to lead was facing unprecedented times – even before this crisis. God is allowing us to step into situations and support other organizations, primarily non-profit or charitable organizations, like we’ve never done before. We’re helping them understand who they serve, how they do it, and what God is calling them to be and do. We’re using the tools in our hands, shaped over almost 20 years of doing marketing, branding, strategy and communications work (I legit started REALLY young) to support the church and ministries in strategic ways. We’ve launched The Change Makers Podcast, bringing you closer to leaders and world shapers, who I get to call friends.

And I didn’t feel like I could ask anyone to pray for us. #slowlearner This battle is real and I was in the middle of it trying to do it on my own. I think that might be called pride, friend. Ugh. Humble is one of my core values and I was NOT living it.

Friend, I know prayer changes me, in the midst of my circumstances, even though the circumstance may not change. I’ve seen it impact others so personally – especially when I’m prompted to pray something for a friend and find out later why that prompt came. I’m teaching it to my daughter and I’ve seen it change anxious thoughts and remind me of the promises of God. I needed to remember that God was listening to me too and that even Jesus prayed.

It was time to invite others in and ask them to pray.

So, inspired by Sheila Walsh and my Coach Gillian, the week before #CovidCrisis2020, I invited a small, trusted group of women to pray for me, for our family, for our team, and for the work we do. It still felt awkward – but it was the right thing to do, at the right time, it turns out. Just days later, it felt like our world fell apart but I knew that God had an army of women behind me who had my back.

I think that one of the reasons I’ve not felt like I could ask for prayer was because I’ve struggled to be faithful in praying for others – more like a “hit or miss” prayer friend, than one of those consistent prayer warriors that I’ve so admired. To be honest, it’s in this season that I struggle with being pulled in so many directions – parenting, leading, and all the other pieces of life – that I often fall asleep when I’m praying. Fortunately, our dear brother of old, Peter, couldn’t even stay awake to pray when Jesus was right there with Him… I guess I’m in good company, at least!

Sheila Walsh helped me overcome this guilt. Telling me that I’m okay to start where I am or when I don’t know what to pray. She’s helped me see the value of being a praying woman in whatever season I’m in. Praying Women has been equipping me, prodding me, has been a gift for in this season, friend.

There is also a free study available online as well if you’re looking for a way to feel less isolated and more connected right now. If you’re looking for hope and wanting to know how to reach out – why not start by connecting with the One who knows you fully and loves you deeply, right where you are?

That’s what I’m going to try to do, too. Let’s do it together, okay?

The post When You Need Praying Women appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

I have a love-hate relationship with movies that make me cry – and it all started with an ill-fated trip to see The Fox and the Hound as a 5-year-old. My teeny-tiny self had my first in-theatre, crying-so-hard-you-can’t-breathe, devastated when the story didn’t go as it should moment – there was NO GOOD REASON why a fox and a hound couldn’t be friends. 

In real-life though, that fox and hound would not be friends, but I didn’t know that. When it’s a true-life story though? I’m looking for the redemption in the grief. 

Last weekend, I saw I STILL BELIEVE for the third time. I know the story and still, the tears came – and the laughter, too. Based on the true-life story of Jeremy and Melissa Camp, this is a story of grief, yes – but of hope, and redemption, too.

And I love these stories because I know this theme in my own story. I see it in what God is writing in the life stories all around me. Gary Sinise does a stellar job acting as Jeremy Camp’s Dad in the film, and one line he shared has stuck with me: 

“My life is not full in spite of the disappointment, it’s full because of them…You chose to walk into the fire – that’s what love is.”

That is what I walk away with after being immersed in this story for the past number of months. 

My life is full, because of choosing to walk into the fire, in disappointments – and finding love. Over and over and over again. This is the story of our lives, isn’t it? It’s the theme of so many stories throughout my life – I could name each of them, one by one. Funny enough, it’s the theme of that first movie-crying experience too – The Fox and the Hound, they walked into their own fire, and found love too. Maybe they were onto something. 

And what’s even more important? Being able to still believe in God’s faithfulness, His goodness and His kindness when we’ve walked our way through – knowing that we never did walk alone through the fire. It’s that story behind Jeremy Camp’s song, “I Still Believe,” that makes the song even more powerful. 

Movie Ticket Giveaway!

I STILL BELIEVE – the new film from The Erwin Brothers (creators of I CAN ONLY IMAGINE) – releases across Canada today, Friday, March 13^th.

And… I’m giving away two passes to see the film in theatres. The contest is open to Canadian residents only (excluding Quebec residents). Enter to win by leaving a comment below on what makes your life full to be entered to win. Two winners will be randomly chosen at noon ET on Monday, March 16^th.

You can find out where the film is playing near you at www.faithfilms.ca.

*This contest is now closed. Thank you for participating!

The post On Being Able to Still Believe appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

Today is Blue Monday. “Experts” say that a day like today is when all things crash together – post-holiday credit statements, gloomy weather, and spring still being two months out. The Christmas/New Years cheer has gone and some of our New Years resolutions have also gone with it. For me, this year it’s the day my sweet Mama goes home to the far west coast of Canada, after 7 weeks at our house. It’s the day that my daughter and I will likely end up sitting on the steps crying when we get home, because there’s no Grandma to play Old Maid with, or to talk about my day with.

But, this will pass. We’ll get back into our routine, which will be a good thing. For the first time in a couple of months, it will be just our family in our house, and we’ll settle in. A gloomy month turns into Valentine’s month, which is our anniversary month, and then into Spring, which is my favourite. And today? Although it’s Blue Monday, it’s one of those gloriously sunny, snowy winter days. And, we didn’t spend beyond our budget over Christmas. And I can give thanks for what I’ve been given, like a mom that I’m sad to see leave. And most importantly, although I’ll feel terribly lonely for my Mama, I can remember that I’m never alone. These are the things that are brightening my day.

We could all use a little day brightener, right?

So today, on Blue Monday, I would love to brighten your homes/days with some beautiful inspirational art prints. You can download them as a gift from me to you, and use them as your phone background or as frameable wall art. I love them so much, that I sent them over to our favourite big-box store’s photo centre to get them printed as big 11 x 14″ prints and have them hanging on the walls in my office! These prints are inspired by Ruth Chou Simons’ book, Beholding and Becoming and feature the custom hand lettered artwork of Sunshine Ink – the verses that inspired me when I launched our business in 2008.

To download these prints (and all the free goodies in our VIP room), all you have to do is subscribe to my blog. Easy peasy. Enter your email below to subscribe!

Friend, remember this: we can reframe our personal “Blue Mondays,” whenever they occur, by reminding ourselves that we’re not alone. God is consistently present and working during our “blue” days. He’s doing work we can’t see, growing us as “oaks of righteousness”, for the display of His glory, in every season. I hope these prints can serve as a beautiful reminder of that for you.

You are loved.

Warmly,

Ellen

PS – Subscribe to get all the free goodies in our VIP room!

The post On Blue Monday {+ A Gift For You!} appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

This year, I’m (once again) working on simplifying my Christmas routine. Most of the gifts I’m responsible for have already been purchased. I’ve picked up some of those snacks and foods that we only eat over the Christmas holidays (with long expiration dates), the house is starting to look cozy, and since I’m almost done my shopping, now I can help you with yours!

Books are extra-cozy Christmas gifts – I pair mine with some tea, or a candle, or a pair of fuzzy socks, to encourage someone I care about to put down their phone, and pick up a book. You can find these at your local Christian bookstore or (because so many of us here in Canada no longer have a Christian bookstore, unfortunately) at the links below.

Without further ado… let’s start our 2019 Christmas gift guide!

For your Daughter or Niece:

Harvest House Courage Books

I know I’ve recommended these before, but I love these books for kids aged 5 – 10 (and for people like me too, honestly). If you’re a woman who wants to know “where are the women in Scripture?” and teach your children as well, these beautifully illustrated and written books will inspire and bring the women of the Bible to life.

Purchase An Unexpected Hero online here, A Fearless Leader online here, An Extraordinary Teacher online here, and A Brave Big Sister online here.

Purchase A Fearless Leader, An Extraordinary Teacher, and A Brave Big Sister from your local Christian bookstore.

For your Husband or Brother:

The Girl Behind the Red Rope and The Beyond the Circle Boxed Set – Ted Dekker

If you want to get your husband / brother / dad / uncle / young adult son to put down the technology and get lost in a book, this is a GREAT way to do it. These books are suspenseful, well-crafted, and riveting. So good. You’ll probably want to borrow them yourself, as well, FYI.

Purchase The Girl behind the Red Rope online here and The Beyond the Circle Boxed Set online here. Purchase The Girl behind the Red Rope at your local Christian bookstore and the Beyond the Circle Boxed Set at your local Christian bookstore.

For a Friend:

Strong, Brave, Loved – Holley Gerth

Holley has a way of writing words that connect directly with your heart. So, so good. And what woman doesn’t need to be reminded that she’s Strong, Brave, and Loved? This is a great gift for a beloved friend. If you’re feeling extra kind, grab a copy of Fiercehearted to give alongside this daily devotional.

Purchase Brave, Strong, Loved online here or at your local Christian bookstore.

For yourself:

Gracelaced 2020 Planner

If you’re hoping to start fresh in the New Year with some good habits and intentionality, this is a GORGEOUS way to do just that. I’m so excited to start using it on January 1^st. So pretty, and so practical. Grab one for a girlfriend, your grown-up daughter, and one for yourself, too!

Purchase the Gracelaced 2020 Planner online here or at your local Christian bookstore.

For Kids:

Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids – Rob Elliot

For better or worse, kids LOVE joke books. LOOOOOOOVE joke books. Rob Elliott is actually a personal friend and I think these books are excellent stocking stuffers or gift exchange options. They’re so well-priced that you can pick up a few of them and wrap them up for hours and hours and hours and hours of kid-sized fun.

Purchase Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids online here or at your local Christian bookstore.

Giveaway!

I’m giving away a bundle of these books for one lucky subscriber! This bundle of books is valued at a retail price of $170 CAD. To enter to win, make sure you’re subscribed to my blog and leave me a comment about your favourite Christmas tradition, below. 

Contest is open to Canadian residents (excluding Quebec). One winner will be randomly selected on Thursday, December 19 at noon EST.

*Giveaway is now CLOSED. Congratulations to Patty R for winning this book bundle!

The post My 2019 Christmas Gift Guide appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

Recently I shared an article on social media about the exhaustion of being the “Primary Parent.” That parent on those school or camp or dance or doctor’s forms (ALL THOSE NEVER ENDING FORMS). Those forms where my name goes in this space:

CONTACT #1. MOTHER.

The weight of it is real. It’s only a couple months into the school year, but life moves fast, and we’re heading into full-on holiday season. And the reality is, so many of us “primary parents” are already stretched thin. To be clear: I have a great life. I am amazed at what I get to do. I’m so grateful I get to parent a great kid, lead an incredible organization, and be married to an amazing guy who does SO MUCH – but life as a mom-wife-daughter-friend-business owner is a lot, friend. Too much, sometimes. A good life doesn’t mean an easy life, am I right?

When I posted the “Primary Parent” article, comments started popping up almost immediately. I wasn’t the only one who felt like I could have written it myself. Friends commented that they were there, too. One family member said she wished she just had one more clone of her, because she’s so stretched. It’s an interesting season, this season of life. It’s good, and I wouldn’t trade my kiddo for the world, but it’s exhausting too. It’s a season where it is far too easy to feel stretched too thin.

Honestly, 2018 – 2019 have been years of being stretched and pulled and by the end of this  summer and all the summer camps and filling in gaps and trying to keep up with work, I was worn out. Done. Between work, concussion recovery, relational situations, and a really intensive parenting stretch, my tank had been running on empty for a few hundred (thousand) kilometres.

Sometimes, circumstances mean that, in seasons, we’ll be stretched beyond our limits. That’s life. But, it can’t last that way for too long. The danger, for me, is making it a pattern of behaviour, rather than a season. Forgetting that I’m created for an abundant life – not an overwhelming one. Ignoring my empty tank, and daring my body to break down.

A conversation with a good friend helped me see some shifts to make. I talked to my doctor about exhaustion. I’m trying to take more walks. I’m using my beautiful craft studio that my beloved set up. I stopped researching speech therapy techniques and ADHD IEP’s, and started watching YouTube videos that inspire my creativity. Asked more for help, without being resentful of my “primary parent” role. I engaged a coach to help me think through this season of life, and she challenged me to identify things and people that bring energy to me, not just things or people I pour out energy to (which is especially hard.)

I’m still doing these things. My empty tank is a quarter-full tank now, and looking like a fill-up is possible. And I’m feeling more human. More like myself and less stretched thin. More like I’m living in abundance, instead of overwhelm. I’m looking ahead to the Christmas season with more joy.

I’m listening to other, more veteran, mothers too. Telling me not to try to do it all (something we all know, but it’s hard to discern in the moment.) Helping me say “no” to good things that just don’t fit in this season. And, as a full-time working-outside-the-home-in-a-pretty-demanding-job Mom, I’m huge on trying to outsource the parts of my life that I can. Sometimes I can’t see the “outsourceable” pieces or the appointments that really can be postponed or cancelled and it’s good to have (kind) perspective on my life from others. Because, women in my stage of life still need Mamas. Maybe we need them more than ever. We need Mamas who love us. Who nurture us. Who support us. Mamas who help us learn what to say yes to, and what to say no to.

And the temptation, since I’m feeling a little more whole, is to say yes a whole lot more. But one friend – who has volunteered to be one of my “Mama” voices – told me to say “not now”. She gave me permission to not be all the things, to all the people who want them, and it was a gift. If you’re no longer in this stretched thin season, reach out to one of those “Primary Parents.” They need a Mama too.

And friend? If you’re stretched too thin, I want to thank you for just showing up here. Your time is precious. Let’s help fill each other’s tanks, okay? xo

Book Giveaway!

I have a gift for two of you mamas who feel stretched thin in this season. Jessica Turner’s book Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive. It’s a super-practical, new book that will validate your struggle, and help you find ways to live beyond it.

Want a copy? Enter by commenting below and telling me one way that you’re filling your empty tank these days.

*This contest is now closed. Thank you for participating!

The post When You’re Stretched Too Thin {+ a Giveaway!} appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.

A few years ago, I was caught up in a friend’s project, as she identified beauty around her. Beauty that others might not see. Beauty in what is considered “not beautiful” – things like our grey hair, things we try to ignore, or cover-up.

The reality is, we’re surrounded by beauty – miraculous beauty – every day, but life moves fast (even more so, the older I get) and my sight seems to get more blurred by the speed of it. It’s too easy to miss what I’m actually seeing.

My daughter notices it much more so. She’s a noticer of detail and has been since she was a baby. Perhaps it’s because she’s closer to the ground? But her noticing, helps me notice. Helps me notice a ladybug; with its perfect spots. Notice a grasshopper; with its crazy legs. Notice a hot-air balloon. Notice the sunset. Notice the sunrise. And she reminds me that God made those things.

Like my friend, she’s choosing to notice beauty. Real beauty. In the middle of the mundane.

I’m realizing that part of the reason I’m not noticing beauty is because, with the busy-ness, it’s easy to worship the wrong things. To pay more attention to my job, my relationships, my craft projects, my home – than to direct my eyes to the One who can transform me into a more beauty-filled person, right in the middle of my life, in the middle of all those good things. Things that make me look at the gift, but not the Giver.

And I’m learning to behold the right things, bit by bit, so that I become more like the one who made me. It’s not a religious thing, but a relationship thing. The God who created beauty allows me to connect with Him through it. Such a mystery.

It’s what Ruth Chou Simons calls, “the art of everyday worship.” In this season, I’m picking this up as a practice. I was gifted a copy of Beholding and Becoming and it soothed and inspired my creative heart. It made me want to pick up my watercolours again and it made me look forward to quiet moments to read and soak in the art of this gorgeous book. Friend – the artwork is stunning. Page after page – more than 200 of them – of art interlaced with encouragement to behold the glory of the Lord all around us and in His words.

And here’s the thing: I’m reminded with each page that we become more beautiful the more we behold Him. Less frantic; more alive. Reminded to not worship the art but to worship the Master Artist.

It’s challenged me to stop and soak things in. To be conscious of where I’m directing my eyes. To wonder: do I even notice what I see? Am I seeing the One who created all things? And it’s made me more peace-full in the mornings. The funny thing is that my daughter, the noticer, noticed this book on my nightstand and asks to read it with me. She loves when there’s a song in the accompanying journal because we can sing together. We get to behold and become – together. What a gift.

Book Giveaway!

Since it’s my birthday week I get to gift one of you, my lovely blog subscribers, with your own copies (Woohoo!).

All you have to do is comment below about where you’re seeing beauty today to be entered to win a copy of Beholding and Becoming (thank you, Harvest House Publishers!). One winner will be chosen randomly at noon ET on Monday, October 21^st, 2019 and posted here.

(And if you’re like me and wanting to get your Christmas shopping done before December 1^st, this is a HUGE gift recommendation… such a stunning book and journal!).

Let’s accept Ruth’s invitation: to be transformed, one everyday moment at a time.

GIVEAWAY CLOSED. The winner of this contest was Tracey W.

The post On Beholding and Becoming {+ a Giveaway!} appeared first on Ellen Graf-Martin.