Elle Pyke

Saddle Up for another round

2011-12-20T18:01:00.000-08:00

It was just a matter of time before Junia came out of the closet again, asking for her rightful place around the proverbial "women in ministry" table. Tim Challies, who always seems to stir the pot (but takes his hands off the spoon I might add, after the sizzling begins) was the culprit this time around and his blog tips on scripture reading. The complementarians and egalitarians saddled up again and took fire at one another on his blog.

One of my favorite cowboys, Scott McKnight joined in lassoed a post in response, the new it girl for all things ladies, Rachel Held Evans chimed in and called us ladies to pick up the task of prophets. My favorite Canadian Mummy said she is too pooped to fight anymore, and gave up her seat at the table.

Seems everyone saddled up for this one. Even Kinnon and Jared Wilson took a few pokes on Twitter.

I'm late to the game, as this blog has been for the past few years. My apologies.

But though I agree with the sentiments of my fellow ladies, to live out our callings anyways, in our quest for liberation and freedom from having to prove our place at the table...I worry for us.

I worry that in our zeal and poetic language, in our fervor and passion, we will miss that perhaps some still need to wrestle and "come to dinner" if you will, with the predominately white, evangelical men that rule the web, the publishing world, and the podcasts of Christendom.

I worry that while dancing with the outcasts, and prophesying with the radicals, that we will miss the call to still poke and prod at the tattered theology keeping women out of "the game".

We women can live out our callings, without the permission of those who would rather see us silent but still miss the mark on this subject.

What if God, in all His women loving wisdom, is asking some of us ladies to still knock at the door of the dinner party, and remind our fellow brothers that we are still outside, and we aren't leaving. Not only are we not leaving, we are armed with some scriptures, some stories, and some scars they need to see and hear.

Ladies, I feel you.

Trust me I do.

I penned a contribution to a conference two years ago that addressed this very issue, but my submission was ignored. More than my disappointment that I couldn't share on this topic was the disappointment that no one at that significant conference addressed the issue of women in leadership.

In the defense of the conferences planners, whom I love, respect and admire, they likely thought the issue had been flogged to death.

And they are right.

It is has.

But we are still crying out.

We are still crying out in the dessert.

Even in the emerging/emergent/emerged/reformed/affirming/catholic/mainline/charismatic/you name it...we are still crying out.

And there is a good chance, that we will be crying for years to come.

But ladies, don't give up the good fight to dance outside in the rain. Some of you have voices that need to be heard. Some of you have theological dissertations that need to be shared. Some of you have words that need to be penned.

And for some of us, we need you to keep battling so that we can find our voice, gain our strength, and take over in the years to come.

We may not get the invitation to dine with the men's club just yet, but some of us still need to stand on stools outside and pelt the windows with pebbles.

Just reminding them, we might be out of sight, but we aren't out of mind.

TEDxWaterloo and The Disconnect

2011-12-20T17:47:00.000-08:00

I have the incredible privilege of being apart of the Marcomm (Marketing and Communications) team for TEDxWaterloo. If you are not familiar with the TED format, you are missing out. Thousands of TED talks await you here . The TEDx’s are locally-grown editions of the famed TED conference. TEDxWaterloo is a wonderful edition to the TED family, and it has been a pleasure working with them for the 2012 edition.

I had the honor of writing a piece for the website, and it posted last week on the site . Here are a few thoughts on this years theme, on "Disconnected". Though I had no hand in picking the theme, the idea of "Disconnected" has been near and dear to my heart this past year and writing about it was effortless.

The Disconnect

Can you remember the first time that someone hung up on you?

I mean really hung up on you.

The phone slamming, angry adverbs, mid-sentence cut off, came out of left field kind of hang up?

I can remember my first experience with an angry hang up like it was yesterday. NKOTB and their classic hit “Please Don’t Go Girl” was blaring through my tape deck, as my 12 year old eyes cried a million tears over a boy who shouted into his rotary phone “We are over” and followed his decree with a resounding slam. It was the first time my teenage self had discovered the sense of powerlessness you experience when you are disconnected from so abruptly. It was the first time that I learned the power you wield when you break communication with another and disconnect without an explanation. In a world so full of opportunities to communicate it is a shame that so many of us communicate so poorly, and take the easy road of the disconnect from people and situations when they become difficult.

As I have grown older and have more tools at my disposal then ever to connect and communicate, I sometimes feel more lost than ever before. I have often wondered then if poor communication doesn’t disconnect souls, but rather it’s the disconnected souls who poorly communicate. If that statement could have a nugget of truth, then where does that leave us, as we find the promise and power of connection and our contributions to the communities that we find ourselves in? Where does it leave us when communication has never been so important, yet has never been more misunderstood and misused?

I am not sure what the answers are, and maybe for now, I don’t to figure it all out. Perhaps the answer is fluid and malleable as we constantly recalibrate in an ever changing world. Maybe the most important thing is that we are searching for an answer, together and connected, through an outlet like TEDxWaterloo, wresting through these inevitable tensions.

Seth Godin once said “Connect the disconnected to each other and you create value” I am sure in his marketing guru genius he was talking about connecting products to people, but I can’t help but wonder if that same statement applies person to person. When we connect with one another, in new and meaningful ways, when we choose connectedness over the disconnect, we then create value because of what we create together.

We have all heard the line “two heads are better than one” and “we are stronger together then we are divided”. Maybe sometimes clichés are clichés because they are true. Maybe finding our connectedness and looking for the answers of how each of us, in our own context, can hang up once and for all on our disconnectedness, is the most powerful force on earth for change. Maybe there is hope beyond the disconnect and maybe for now, that hope is enough.

What if you are your biggest problem?

2011-09-08T16:05:00.000-07:00

If you want to be a write. Write.

If you want to be a singer. Sing.

If you want to starting your own business. Start it.

If you want to lose weight. Cut your calories.

If you want to learn how to juggle swords of death. Practice.

If you want to climb Mount Everest. Book your ticket.

If you want to jump into the unknown. Put one foot in front of the other.

Each whimsical wish that we have, each fanciful idea that we conjure up finds birth or dies with our action or inaction.

We either make it happen, or we don't.

It really is as simple as that.

I am getting increasingly tired of hearing others, and more importantly myself, come up with every reason under the sun why we can't live out our dreams.

It was a great tune 10 years ago, but now, it is one played out record.

You either make it happen.

Or you don't.

You either try.

Or you don't.

What's the worst that could happen? You either fail trying or fail without starting.

But what if you started and you won?

What if you climbed the mountain, lost the weight and made millions as an entrepreneur?

What if your inaction is the only hindrance?

What if you are your biggest problem?

Whether it is stagnant faith or a stagnant life, whether you can or can't change it, is really up to you.

I am heading to the studio this month to record my...whatever it becomes.

An album.

One song.

Or one rough time for my poor patient producer.

I don't live in a make believe world where I think I am the best singer, or song writer for that matter.

But I am going to try.

And it seems that success or failure hangs in that balance.

Gungor "When Death Dies"

2011-09-07T10:48:00.000-07:00

This is why I desire to make music that matters...

Presentensions - The lie of acquired significance

2011-05-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

I had the extreme privilege of speaking at the Presentensions conference in Toronto on May 20th. I was surrounded by people whom I hold in the highest regard and with the utmost respect. Voices that are so important to the future of the church anywhere, I was nervous to have mine echoing with theirs.

I was quite overwhelmed with the positive response I received when I presented. I was warmed when the crowd laughed along, and encouraged when I heard the "hmmm's" in the more poignant moments. I was not expecting so many people to approach me afterward and share with me. I will never be able to express how much the kind words and compliments meant to me.

It has been an overwhelming year to say the least. Coping with change, losing a loved one and changing careers has been difficult. But in the midst of difficulty, God has brought redemption and strength. It has been a tremendously sad and at the same time, joyous year for me

In my most difficult days, clinging to the truth that I am valuable to God, just because, was a difference maker. When I experienced situations that made me doubt my worth, God reminded me of how utterly worthy I was in His eyes. I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever get the chance to share this tremendous truth I learned with a wider audience, and speak to the worth of the church on a whole.

And along came Presentensions..

For the many friends and fellow travelers who asked for a transcript of my talk, I hope it reminds you how valuable you are, just because you are!

When I was 5, I was convinced I was going to be a talk show host. This was long before the days of Oprah, or Ellen. I wore capes, and top hats, and made countless tape recordings of me interviewing imaginary movie stars and singers. I rode a unicorn, ate Jello with Bill Cosby and thought I would one day be a somebody.e of your childhood days and imagine Jesus telling you exactly who you are, and make that the benchmark of significance in your life.

I, as most, lost the flair for the imaginative as I grew older. I began to think critically and analytically about things and ceased to reside in the land of make-believe. I stopped making my tape recordings and I put my top hat on a shelf. I may have forgotten some of my childhood dreams, the whimsy of make believe and play, but I did hold on to one thing. The belief that one day I would be somebody. People would know my name. And being schooled in the halls of evangelicalism since I was young, I married this belief of my supposed “soon to be” stardom with my belief in God, and it was a match made in superstar Christian heaven.

When I peel back the layers of time, and envision myself standing in the garden with Adam and Eve, I can understand how tempting that apple looked. Not only was it red, shiny and fabulous, it was also whispering and taunting Eve to come, to do something, become significant.

Be somebody Eve.

If you incline your ear to the sound you can hear the echo throughout history. Our whole fallen world has bought into the lie of acquired significance. That if we just somehow work a little harder, achieve something a little greater, then we will be somebody. Then we will matter, then we will really be all we were meant to be.

And it is not just the world that has embraced the lie of acquired significance.

May I humbly submit that when I glance through the pews of the church of Canada, and search through the sanctuaries, I can see the evidence of the lie of acquired significance. I can hear its subtle whispers…be somebody…be somebody. I can see the pastorate fighting the cloak of acquired significance, that seeks to cover them and envelope their ministries. I see it in the faces of my fellow brother and sisters as they repeat the mantra that our culture teaches us “I have to achieve something, impress someone, be the hero”

I hear the lie call out in the conferences and gatherings that we attend. The whisper that tells us our success is found in numbers, book sales, blog stats and retweets. That our significance as the church of Canada comes when we have started the new building campaign, hired yet another pastor, and tossed some money at the soup kitchen downtown.

So as the bride of Christ here in the Great White North of Canada, we have tried almost anything to be somebody. We embraced street evangelism, the Gathers, revivals and or “blessings”. We “kissed dating goodbye” took the Teen Mania challenge and engaged our social justice initiatives. We decided the only music God liked was from Australia, and tried living simply for awhile. We decided we didn’t like pastors, then went to school to become them, and now aren’t even sure if we need them. Some of us got “Left Behind”, prayed to Jabez three times a day, and looked for 40 days to try and find our purpose. We took some spiritual gift inventories, then tried for awhile to do some spiritual warfare and bought a WWJD bracelet for good measure. We are still trying to figure out if we were, or still are or could be emerging/ emergent /emerged. We made promises with the promise keepers, tried to become contagious Christians, and even tried to shed some pounds with the weighed down workshops. We have looked for our significance everywhere and from anyone

In an irony so acute it's almost painful, it is no wonder that the church of Canada is starting to be a landscape populated by Pentecostal-style charismatic’s with therapeutic, church growth oriented churches.

Those of course are the churches that like to remind us, we can be somebody.

We have acted as if God was a trite being who looked upon our significance like a stock that goes up and down depending on performance.

I am no theologian, nor do I deem myself the most knowledgeable when it comes to the debates ad intellectual posturing many Christians engage in. Listen, the first time I heard the word Zizek, I replied “gazuntit”. But I just can’t help but wonder if the Church here in Canada forgot how significant we are to God, just because.

It like the good news that we are important to God, and that we cannot acquire it, or achieve it, has become the old news. Our dismissal of the “feel-good” gospel message that ran ramped in the 90’s caused us to forget that sometimes the gospel does feel good. It is a by product of the gift of Christ that we dare not throw aside, lest we forget it all together. The church in Canada, the dazzling bride has more significance, meaning and worth than she can possibly comprehend. And the truth is you and I and the whole beautiful body had significance and worth before we ever even glanced upon the face of Christ. No matter how many converts or cathedrals we make, no matter how many baptisms or backsliders we engage; we are significant to Christ.

As the parable in Luke 15 highlights, we really are God’s coin. Whether or not we know it, or have forgotten it, or aren’t even sure we are theologically comfortable with it, we are deeply and personally important to God. We are that significant to him. The coin in the parable does not one thing to earn this significance, and neither do we. We simply are significant to Christ.

My sincere hope for the Future of the Church of Canada is that we become masters at the art of tight rope walking. My hope is that we can become masters of the art of maintaining balance, while walking along a tensioned wire of living in the fullness of God’s significance, and yet using our gifts. All the while trying to not fall into the trap acquired significance.

It may initially seem almost impossible to be motivated by anything else other than the never ending search for significance. We seem to be the masters of our own personal PR machines, so even if we aren't doing anything all that important, we can Facebook and tweet that we are. So at least our friends will think we are somebody. If we want to be motivated by the right intentions, we will have to do the hard work to always be in touch with our motivations, recalibrating them and holding them up to the light of Christ. We all experience some degree of giftedness from God, and are all called to display those gifts. It will be that fine balance that keeps in check if we are living out that expression, or if we are working to achieve something already freely given.

The irony of course, is that people who are living out of that fullness of significance, that came before their gift not because of, and came through a gift that God has given, usually make the loudest splashes in life. As they live out of that fullness, they engage the world differently.

The future of the church of Canada is facing a new landscape. Most of the industrialized world has now realized that the industrial revolution is fading. The years of growing productivity, and the ever increasing middle class is ending. People in omidst, in our pews and those we are yet to meet are all facing new realities. Men and Women who believed they had a valuable and needed skill, or trade, or degree are now discovering that there is no such thing as job security any longer. People who believed they could find their worth and importance in what they did, what they achieved and what they could create with the sweat of their brow, are now facing an un certain crisis.

If we, the church, cannot stand up and call out from the steeples that there is a God, who sees their significance, one that they do not have to acquire, then we my brothers and sisters, we will be in trouble.

The message of significance will must always be partnered with the message of the Gospel. But the mysterious and marvelous truth that not only does God desire that we be free from the bondage to sin, but that whether we succeed or fail, our significance doesn’t change, is a message we need to hear more often.

So as we learn the art of tight rope walking, don’t try to be a superstar, church of Canada. Don’t falter back and try to acquire your significance. I really can’t handle another 40 days of purpose, and I am sold my WWJD bracelet at a garage sale last year.

What I learned from Christopher Hitchens

2011-05-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

Notorious atheist Christopher Hitchens is dying of cancer. For most this isn't new news, as his diagnosis was wide spread through the news and over the internet.

Unfortunately it was easy for the evangelical church to villify him, and forget his humanity. And as he lay dying, now loosing his voice as the cancer takes over, it is all too interesting for me to see what he muses on in his article for Vanity Fair...

Words & Friendship.

He writes "For me, to remember friendship is to recall those conversations that it seemed a sin to break off: the ones that made the sacrifice of the following day a trivial one."

and adds

"My chief consolation in this year of living dyingly has been the presence of friends. I can’t eat or drink for pleasure anymore, so when they offer to come it’s only for the blessed chance to talk. Some of these comrades can easily fill a hall with paying customers avid to hear them: they are talkers with whom it’s a privilege just to keep up. Now at least I can do the listening for free."

The power of friendship, the power of words, the power of relationships. All themes I have wrestled through this year, and am finding my footing once again. How powerful the words of a man who soon will lose his ability to speak.

I can't help but wonder if somehow the words we speak, or the ones we don't, will be judged by God in a different way.

Words.

This simple form of relational currency that almost all of us have. This indispensable resource that we all have at our finger tips, that we so often abuse, or use, or twist, manipulate, or withhold. It made my mind spin as I mulled over these ideas.

As a recovering Penetecostal, I usually stray from the prophecy laden, "I know the will of God for your life" church circles. But, I still have some wonderful people in my life that find their connection to Jesus through those services. On occasion I will find myself at church of this denominational persuasion , usually watching with a careful eye, feeling as though I am watching a re-run of my youthful Christian exuberance.

But recently when I attended, I couldn't help but be intrigued by a "message" that God had for me, as delivered through a middle aged man.

He told with much certainty that God wanted me to know there were people on the edges of my circle of influence that were speaking ill of me. He said these words were persistent, and very personal in nature. He warned that these words have picked up traction, as the enemy has gotten wind of them, and now they pose a threat. He encouraged me that God wanted me to build up a hedge of protection around myself and my family and pray against the lies that are being spoken of me.

A few years ago I was also told by a well meaning middle aged man that God wanted me to know I would be a wonderful missionary in Romania.

So, you know, I take these messages with a grain of salt.

But, for reasons that will go un-mentioned, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a grain of truth in the words the man spoke. In the past, after hearing something like this, I would start a roladex of names in my mind, figuring out who could be saying things, what could this all mean...

This time the first thing that passed into my mind, was that I would never want God to have to send a message to someone because of the words that I spoke about them.

I couldn't imagine knowing that the words I chose to use, could somehow build traction and effect the life of another.

If even the slightest truth could be pulled from this "message" I was sent, I wanted to make sure that my mouth was "washed out with soap" as it were. And that I would never be found using the power of my words to create something unsavory about someone else.

So when Christopher Hitchens mused about his approaching lost of the ability to speak, I wondered about what I would feel, as the end of my life approaches. Could I say with certainty that my words were always used to build up and edify?

As if we didn't need reminding again, how powerful our words are, Christopher Hitchens reminded me that my words count, my relationships matter and that time is fleeting from all of us.

Use it, and your words wisely.

Who is who?

2011-05-02T15:19:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or is anyone else uncomfortable with the rejoicing in the streets and celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden?

I am having a hard time telling who is who?

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Martin Luther King Jr

Returning to trust

2011-03-27T18:01:00.000-07:00

Daily Meditations Written by Henri Nouwen

Returning to Trust

In my own life I well know how hard it is for me to trust that I am loved, and to trust that the intimacy I most crave is there for me. I most often live as if I have to earn love, do something noteworthy, and then perhaps I might get something in return. This attitude touches the whole question of what is called in the spiritual life, the "first love." Do I really believe that I am loved first, independent of what I do or what I accomplish? This is an important question because as long as I think that what I most need I have to earn, deserve and collect by hard work, I will never get what I most need and desire, which is a love that cannot be earned, but that is freely given. Thus, my return is my willingness to renounce such thoughts and to choose to live more and more from my true identity as a cherished child of God.

Transmedia and the Art of storytelling

2011-03-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

My jaw dropped when I first viewed this video, as I th0ught that this mastermind had hacked the screens in Times Square. As I read the comments I realized I was not the only person that thought this video was genuine.

After frantic searching on the internet I found that the video was a fake, and that it really was an ad for the movie "Limitless". This new form of transmedia is fascinating to me and is so inventive and rich with opportunities for story telling.

A few searches on Twitter and I found this book, which seems to cover this topic: "The Art of Immersion: How the Digital Generation Is Remaking Hollywood, Madison Avenue, and the Way We Tell Stories". I am adding this to my vacation reading list for sure.

If you teach, preach, tell stories or create, maybe think about grabbing a copy of this book as well.

The Evangelical Drama Queens: Bell, Piper and Japan

2011-03-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

I can’t even think of a witty remark or opening for this post, because I feel like I can’t even think straight.

I have read for the past few weeks, the saga that has unfolded around Rob Bell, his book “Love Wins” and the evangelical firestorm that ensued. From John Piper and his irresponsible tweeting (of which he is now a repeat offender) to Bill Kinnon’s hilarious Rob Sheen vs Charlie Bell mash up, to Greg Boyd, everyone has seemed to chime in. Of course the neo-calvinists were all too quick to compare Bell to McLaren and recount the theological tradegies of the now de funked Emergent Movement. My Google Reader has been full up and my Twitter lines were all garbled with Mr Bell for the past two weeks. For goodness sakes he got interviewed by Martin Bashir.

I gave up reading all about this about 5 days ago, so my apologies if this has already been said or suggested...but why is it that Rob Bell and his new book got more attention than a devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan? Why is it that we are more concerned about the correct theology and orthodoxy of a guy with black rimmed glasses then we are with thousands of people dying and hundreds of thousands being displaced in Japan?

I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.

I would love to offer some kind of cure all answer to fix what I feel is really a plague of misplaced priorities, but I don’t have any suggestions. I can’t toss stones while in a glass house. Every day I misplace my priorities on things that are of no eternal value. I get caught up in the daily living just like the rest of us.

I guess it was easier for the North American evangelical church to pontificate on justification, salvation, heaven/hell and all those other Theology 101 subjects then to offer suggestions as to why God allows such horrific suffering at the hands of Mother Nature. It appears it was easier to debate about whether Rob Bell is a Universalist then it was to offering some answers as to what now shall we do in light of this suffering.

By now, I just would have hoped we could do better, especially when the church of Japan is reeling under the enormous tragedy that has transpired. I actually read a review of "Love Wins" that stated "souls hang in the balance"....all the while I was thinking of the souls lost in the earthquake and tsunami and all the souls trying to recover in Japan after this unspeakable loss.

I will read “Love Wins” because I can appreciate what Rob Bell is doing and the questions he was asking. I have read every other book he has written and have found some great insight in those pages. I won’t read it because of the “brew ha ha” that has surrounded it’s arrival. And I won’t try to get a copy as soon as possible to review it and boost my blog stats.

I wish the church of North American wasn’t such a drama queen, but it is. It loves the drama just as much as the Jersey Shore crew. Oh we try to spin it, and slap some holy on it, but deep down its like we are all back in high school.

And all the while we bicker in the halls, pass notes in class, and snicker at our lockers, the world takes note...watching and waiting for the bride to finally graduate.

Beer. It does a body good.

2011-02-16T15:35:00.000-08:00

I love beer.
I just can't help it.
I do.

From it's frothy goodness to it's beauty shades of colour, I just love a wonderfully brewed beer.

The taste of malted barley and hops just makes this girl smile.

This past spring I started a craft brewery tour of Ontario, and finally finished it last month. It was such a bitter sweet moment to step foot in the last brewery, since I started the tour with someone who is no longer with us. My best friend and I honored his memory and finished out the tour, partly for the beer and partly to mend our souls.

I was so happy to see this wonderful map called "The United States of Good Beer" and am pleased to announced that I am starting another craft brewery tour this summer with some new friends who share my beer passion. It might take us a little longer to complete, but the printed copy is hanging on my office wall, ready to be tackled by car, train or plane.

If beer is something you fancy from time to time, and your ever in the U S of A, take along this handy map and enjoy your travels and your beer.

GOOD asked their readers “What is the most awesome, best-tasting, sustainably brewed, independently owned, community-oriented craft beer brewed in your state?”. The result is The United States of GOOD Beer .

New Years resolution: Make room for sorrow

2010-12-30T14:36:00.000-08:00

Few people make it through New Year’s without a list of New Year’s resolutions. Many of us will sit down and pen out, or mentally note, all the things that we are going to be differently this year. Whether we will pronounce vague sentiments like “I resolve to be more kind or loving” or whether we pin point our worst habits and swear to kick them, many of us will resolve to start to New Year off right.

Over the holidays I spent some time searching Twitter to see what other people were resolving to do. Here is just a small sampling of what I found:

@thisisrobthomas: my new years resolution this year is to not make any resolutions.

@cooperc23: New Years Resolutions 1.Win Lotto 2.Move to Cape Town 3.Season tickets to #Newlands 4.Study wine making =)

@Shmarrr: Resolutions never are kept after being made. Its the dumbest and most overplayed New Years Tradition

@SoCalPete: To cease all purchases made in china

@CROWNNUMBER1: I don't need any new years resolutions! I trust in God and I'm gonna let my actions speak!

@jeffstinco: What are your new years resolutions? Mine is simple: be grateful for all the amazing people and all the great things I have in my life.

@M__Falcon New years #resolutions in the making: 1. Stop drinking 2. Stop smoking 3. Less random sex

A post I found spoke about a husband finally fessing up to his wife about his pornography addiction. One stated they were finally telling their significant other they had settled and were ending their relationships. Another stated they were giving up cutting once and for all and resolving this year to only contemplate suicide once instead of ten times. I laughed at some, sneered at others and a few touched my heart.

I have had, what I affectionately call, the year that just was. So many circumstances, situations and relationships were taken from my hands, slipped out of my control and were beyond my reach. I watched some of my best friends lose spouses, some of my friends lose houses and careers and ministries and even a few lose their faith. I saw members of my family face serious surgeries, and others face serious crisis. I personally went through months of grief over the loss of a loved one and working through a major career change.

It was the year that just was, it is what it is, and was what it was.

What shocked me the most, but shouldn’t have shocked me at all, is that God was honestly so close in those times of loss, powerlessness, grief, worry and doubt. I have seen the hand of God move more in the last six months than I have in the last six years, not just in my life, but in the lives of others.

The pages of this blogosphere couldn’t even capture it all, nor could I even capture it all in words and to be honest I don’t even know if I would want to. It has been a very meaningful moment in time watching what the enemy intended for evil, God turning around and using for good.

My new year’s resolution this year is to somehow, someway, stay in touch with the pain, loss and powerlessness of this year. And of course, somehow find joy in the brokenness and sorrow of life. That may sound morbid or theologically incorrect on some level, but somehow I don’t want to lose sight of real life, real loss and real love.

I state every year I want to be near the broken, and every year I run into everything that is happy and fun. This year brokenness found me and the ones I love the most, and I am going to embrace that brokenness and make room for it.

In my experience spiritual maturity and reaching new depths in our faith aren’t found in the mountain top experiences, they are found in the valleys of doubt and despair. In the West we often say it is our money and privilege that muddies how we see Jesus and how we work out our faith. I’m starting to think it has very little to do with money and more to do with what we do with our brokenness and how we work so hard to avoid it. The irony of course being, the more money we have, the more things we can find to mask and medicate our pain and brokenness.

Instead of embracing our pain, we take great measures to elevate it. Some people travel the world, leave the people that love them or drown their sorrows in any substance they can find and still their pain follows like a shadow on a sunny day. We think that finding joy in sorrow to be an oxymoron, something that is inconceivable.

We seek out pleasure instead of patience; we look for fast remedies instead of reconciliation. We beg for the storm to pass, never stopping to think maybe we should learn to dance in the rain.

We love to quote verses from the bible referencing that we are to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn, but then we turn to fill our lives with happy rejoicing people, never making room for those in mourning.

We find clever catch phrases to help us feel better about our own brokenness, and seek to surround ourselves with people that love us, adore us, and at times, sometimes feed into our own narcissistic tendencies.

It almost goes without saying, that the church of the West doesn’t help the problem of pain. The church of the shiny happy people is often what we would rather be a part of, instead of the messed up, broken, church of reality.

Our appetite for social media, Facebook and other online persona machines, doesn’t always help our fascination with running away from pain. We can be as broken as ever, but a quick post to twitter saying “Everything is wonderful, life is great” can not only convince the minds of others all is well, but it can trick our minds to thinking the same.

Pain isn’t a predictor that the rest of life is going to be miserable, on the contrary.

The irony of being close to brokenness is that you are also close to joy. And that joy, when it comes, isn’t fabricated or trumped up. It isn’t predicated on finding a temporary high. It is based on the knowledge that God is with you, through good times and bad, and that is more than a cliché, but a lived out truth. You can sense his presence, feel His hand of healing repairing the holes in your heart, and feel His call not to give up, but to press on. Your joy doesn’t come from circumstance, you don’t have to find the next exciting thing to elevate your baseline happiness, you can find happiness in the mundane.

Tertullian, a early Christian writer said “Your joy is where your hope is” and James states "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing".

Maybe this year, we all can find some joy in our suffering, sense God’s hand with us during trials, and find the beauty in our times of sorrow. Joy always comes in the morning, and this year my gratitude driven praise and New Years resoultion is coming from a different place.

A place that can testify that God is good.

All the time.

God is good.

Puling up the big girl panties

2010-12-13T19:01:00.000-08:00

Recently someone told me to pull up my big girl panties.

At first I was taken back, because they were serious.

My first response was to make a potentially serious moment funny and ask sarcastically if that was "a fat joke".

It wasn't.

It was a serious comment from someone who loved me, someone who was my mentor and someone who was very right.

Criticism, negative words and loss can cripple anyone, knock you off your track and leave you doubting and confused. I was recently suffering from a case of the blues and was starting to lose my way.

My Mom would always remind me as a child that "you can't control what people say, but you can control what you say and what you do". When I was young, I would roll my eyes back in my head and mumble "gee thanks Mom". I didn't see the deep truth in what she told me at that young age. I didn't see the timeless advice that I would need to cling to years into the future.

I was recently reminded that despite my unrelenting efforts, what was going to get said, was going to get said. What was going to happen, was already in motion and no amount of pleading, trying, scrutinizing my words and deeds, could change what was to occur.

No matter how deeply I wanted my true character and heart to come shinning through, I couldn't run to every person who heard the other side of the story. I was at the mercy of someone who had once loved me and had now for whatever reason come to resent me. I was criticized and had no chance to take the stand in my own defense.

And instead of holding my hand as I bitterly wept, my mentor kicked me in...my panties and told me to pull 'em up.

"Criticism is a part of life" they told me "you cannot create your own PR machine all the time. There are always going to be people who talk, positive and negative. Once you let criticism speak to your self worth, you are on a spiral for disaster. Those who are committed to you and love you are the ones that have earned the right to help you course correct your shortcomings and failures, but those who speak about you instead of to you don't have a voice."

They reminded me that no one who is living, moving and breathing is immune from the words that people will speak, but you can become thick skinned and tune out voices from the crowd.

As I slowly began pulling up my big girl panties I started wondering how many other people I knew became crippled by the words and actions of others. It has been said that "fear is the prison where potential is confined" and I wonder how many other people are jailed by their fear of what other people think of them.

The irony of life is that no matter how kind you are, someone will think you are fake.

If you become very confident of who you are and what you are doing, someone will say you are cocky.

If you are a bit of a rebel, they will call you a lost cause or a bad apple.

If you love deeply, they will say you are too emotional.

If you dream wildly of a better future, they will tell you your head is in the clouds.

You will eventually, in some way, in some manner, be dammed if you do, or damned if you don't.

So, if you, like me, are struggling against the tides of loss, self doubt, criticism and confusion, do yourself a favor and pull up your big girl panties.

Be kind, love big, dream in color, rebel against injustice, be confident in who God has called you to be, stifle the voice of the critics and cling to the voices of those who are journeying with you. Let those who criticize bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone speaks against you, and gives you a hard time, respond to them with the energies of prayer and kindness, even if they think your fake.

So join me and pull up your big girl panties and deal with it. There is a whole world out there waiting for who you are and what you have to give. Don't let criticism cripple who you are or what your called to do. Your too precious and too important to give up now.

Your big girl panties are calling...

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

Focusing on the Poor

2010-10-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

Focusing on the Poor

Like every human organization the Church is constantly in danger of corruption. As soon as power and wealth come to the Church, manipulation, exploitation, misuse of influence, and outright corruption are not far away.

How do we prevent corruption in the Church? The answer is clear: by focusing on the poor. The poor make the Church faithful to its vocation. When the Church is no longer a church for the poor, it loses its spiritual identity. It gets caught up in disagreements, jealousy, power games, and pettiness. Paul says, "God has composed the body so that greater dignity is given to the parts which were without it, and so that there may not be disagreements inside the body but each part may be equally concerned for all the others" (1 Corinthians 12:24-25). This is the true vision. The poor are given to the Church so that the Church as the body of Christ can be and remain a place of mutual concern, love, and peace.

Henri Nouwen

----

I would be lying if I said that I rub shoulders with the poor, the marginalized or the homeless on a regular basis. I try to make it a habit of volunteering beyond the walls of my church and giving my time and money to organizations that are making a tangible difference in the lives of the poor.

But that is always the catch isn't it.

Our churches have outsourced our ministry to the poor to someone else. We serve at organizations and give to the little downtown churches that are engaged in mission with those less fortunate because for the most of us, our churches aren't filled with those living in poverty.

As society moved to the suburbs, so went our churches.

Because, well, the church has to follow the money...er I mean...the people.

So here we sit, most of us like myself, giving my money to someone else to do the work of serving the poor for me.

And with it I lose the beauty and the honor of serving the poor.

I still view those on the streets as in need of me, instead of seeing them as people that I am in need of.

I don't hear their stories.

I don't smell the stench of poverty.

I don't see the hope beyond the broken smile.

I leave with my wallet lighter, but my heart not any fuller.

I often care more about creative meaningful worship services than I do about worshiping Christ through my service of those who are in need.

I so often totally miss the point and spend large amounts of time justifying it so eloquently in my head.

If anyone has any ideas of breaking out of this box, please feel free to comment and converse.

And for the rest of us, like myself, with little idea of where to start, I pray and hope that a change comes...

Glee, Pray, Love

2010-10-14T11:37:00.001-07:00

I will admit it. I am not a GLEEk. I have seen a total of three episodes of the hit show GLEE. If anything I only watch in hopes of catching Sue Sylvester in something other than a track suit...but I digress.

I did however watch the episode involving Jesus appearing on a grilled chee sandwich. Partly because I love Jesus and partly because I love grilled cheese. I was quite surprised that this episode of GLEE was void of Britney Spears and actually packed with some emotional and theological depth.

The Cheesus Christ Superstar episode touched on the idea of faith, God and homosexuality, the question of suffering, and of course the always popular debate of God's very existence. I couldn't help but wonder, how many viewers resonated with the questions asked or the conclusions made? For those of us Christ followers seriously interested in practical evangelism, missional living and finding areas of connection with our friends, family and neighbours who are spiritually seeking, is there anything that we can glean from GLEE? (trust me, I am more surprised than you that I just typed those words)

“Asking someone to believe in a fantasy, however comforting, is an immoral thing to do. It’s cruel. It’s as arrogant as telling someone how to believe in God, and if they don’t accept it, no matter how open-hearted or honest their dissent, they’re going to hell. That doesn’t sound very Christian, does it?” Sue Sylvester

What we say matters:

There are many more brilliant minds than I who can expound on this point and wax eloquent about the vernacular in which we speak and the relevance to our post-modern culture....but all I know is this: your words have power.

It might sound cliche, it might sound juvenile, but if I was being honest with you (and myself) I haven't mastered my mouth. You may not have meant to tell your neighbor that they were going to hell in a hand basket, but you pretty much said everything but. You maybe didn't mean for your co worker to overhear you complaining to your husband on the phone about your secular co worker and their homosexual lifestyle, but they heard it. We can't help the southern preachers rattling on television about fire and brimstone, nor can we push the soap box preachers off their box as they yell downtown. But we can make it a priority to watch our words.

"I appreciate your thoughts, but I don't want your prayers." Kurt

What we do matters:

In this episode of GLEE, Kurt's father has a heart attack and through this difficult and confusing time, Kurt reveals to the Glee club that he is an atheist. His well meaning classmates continue to communicate they will pray for him and his father, much to Kurt's chagrin. Instead of his classmates running to their prayer closet's for Kurt and his Father, they head straight to the hospital and hold a prayer vigil bedside.

How many times have Christians, myself included, disrespected the wishes of those who are agnostic, atheists or just annoyed? How many times have we pushed the issue, passed the tract, or continued to send religious Christmas cards with just enough hint of Jesus? We don't like to respect people's wishes when it comes to their faith (or lack of) because they need Jesus after all and their temporary discomfort is a small price to pay for their eternal....well you know.

I know we hate to use Jesus as an example (He seems to always mess up our missiology) but sometimes He walked away from people who weren't ready or willing to dig deeper. He said He wasn't here for the healthy but the sick and He didn't spend His time trying to convince people of their illness, nor pushed Himself where He wasn't wanted. We learned in Sunday School to be on our best behaviour because people were always watching. I wonder where along the way did we lose that truth?

"God works in all kinds of mysterious ways, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't spend a lot of time trying to speak to us through sandwiches." Emma

What we believe matters:

Let's face it, Finn on his knees in a locker room praying to a grilled cheese Jesus is pretty ridiculous and perhaps easy to brush off. But is there any truth to the grilled cheese Jesus? I don't have a crusty sandwich held up in my fridge that I pray to, but sometimes I like to pray to "do what I want, in the name of Jesus" Jesus.

And don't pretend that you don't like to either.

We all like the idea that Jesus takes our side, that He hearkens his ear to our requests and that He especially likes to bless me (of course so I can be a blessing to others). We enjoy things to go our way, even if we are asking for well meaning things. I can't help but wonder if sometimes our doubts, fears and questions come more from our wrong believing than it does from our honest wrestling through the truths of Christ. If we believe, even in the slightest, that our "Jesus in a bottle" is granting us all sorts of great things it is quite easy to believe that when life goes topsy turvy that maybe "Jesus in a bottle" checked out. It's easy to get angry at a God when a loved one passes away and act like bad things are never supposed to happen to us we have been praying to our "Jesus in a bottle". What we believes matters because what we believe turns into how we live. Another cliche we threw under the bus, but one that we should perhaps be revived now and again.

The message that GLEE shared in that episode was broadcast to millions of people who either nodded in agreement or shrugged with apathy. For each person that watched and wondered, I can only hope that they hear the message of a God who is into wasteful grace and extravagant love. It is sometimes sobering to take a look at what our culture thinks about the God that we serve. However comical or extreme there is always a bit of truth in every jab, poke or pronouncement and this episode should give every believer something to think about.

The sheer joyous explosion of words

2010-10-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

With words dancing in my head all day, every day, I often forget they can be joyous and robust. In my pursuits to learn, to unlearn and grow with words, I often over look their sheer beauty to just be nonsensical. In our Christian sub-culture and our new obsession with story and authors and new language, words have become so official and serious. As if they should be wearing a uniform, standing at attention at all times. Sometimes words are absurd, and thanks to Bob Dylan, today I remembered.

INTERVIEWER: Mistake or not, what made you decide to go the rock-'n'-roll route?

DYLAN: Carelessness. I lost my one true love. I started drinking. The first thing I know, I'm in a card game. Then I'm in a crap game. I wake up in a pool hall. Then this big Mexican lady drags me off the table, takes me to Philadelphia. She leaves me alone in her house, and it burns down. I wind up in Phoenix. I get a job as a Chinaman. I start working in a dime store, and move in with a 13-year-old girl. Then this big Mexican lady from Philadelphia comes in and burns the house down. I go down to Dallas. I get a job as a "before" in a Charles Atlas "before and after" ad. I move in with a delivery boy who can cook fantastic chili and hot dogs. Then this 13-year-old girl from Phoenix comes and burns the house down. The delivery boy - he ain't so mild: He gives her the knife, and the next thing I know I'm in Omaha. It's so cold there, by this time I'm robbing my own bicycles and frying my own fish. I stumble onto some luck and get a job as a carburetor out at the hot-rod races every Thursday night. I move in with a high school teacher who also does a little plumbing on the side, who ain't much to look at, but who's built a special kind of refrigerator that can turn newspaper into lettuce. Everything's going good until that delivery boy shows up and tries to knife me. Needless to say, he burned the house down, and I hit the road. The first guy that picked me up asked me if I wanted to be a star. What could I say?

INTERVIEWER: And that's how you became a rock-'n'-roll singer?

DYLAN: No, that's how I got tuberculosis.

Where are your women?

2010-09-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

On July 31st with trembling hands, I hit submit on the Eighth Letter Conference website and uploaded my letter I had penned. This week I was so excited to see that fellow traveller Rachel Held Evans got wind of the conference and organized a syncroblog to highlight letters and promote the conference.

The Eighth Letter Conference is happening on October 1-2 in Toronto, Ontario and it has invited participants to compose letters to the North American Church in the spirit of John’s seven letters of Revelation. A selection of these letters will be presented at the conference alongside presenters like Shaine Claiborne, Tim Challies and Pete Rollins (just to name a few). You can keep up with the conference and grab tickets here, or follow the conversation on Twitter here.

The following is my contribution:

To the church in North America:

I don't suppose myself to be an all knowing critic. In fact, I find a great comfort in finding my own fault, rather than assessing the faults of others.

Having said that church, I feel it necessary to pose a question to you.

All throughout the narrative of scripture, God asks questions of His people. From the garden to the cross, our God questioned, inquired and queried those whom He loved. Questions have the ability to open up new worlds, explore new possibilities and unearth depths we may not have known before.

So it is with humility, gentleness and as much respect as I can muster, I pose my question to you.

A question I don't pressume to be answered with ease. A question that is nuanced and textured. A quesiton that has been asked from those who have gone before me and a question that I fear will be asked long after I have returned to the earth. But a question nonetheless that is banging at the door of my heart with a steady beat.

Knocking.
Longing.
Pleading for a voice.

I tread lightly asking you, the North American church, such a question. I tread with ease and care because I know with my question I step on years of rich christian tradition, theology and doctrinal stances. I tread on rules, rituals, and routines that have long been in place. I tread on fellow brothers and sisters earnest and sincere beliefs. Please know church, I tread with honest and thoughtful care.

North American Church, broken yet beautiful North American church, the question I ask you is this:

Where are your women?

Women with scars, women with baby weight and blistered feet.
Women who are daugthers, women who never knew their fathers.
Women who knew force at the hands of the men they trusted, women who know deep abiding love at the hands of the men they trust.
Women who are friends, fellow travellers and faithful family members.

Where are your women?

Women who till fields. Women who run companies. Women who change diapers. Women who mend souls.

Where are your women?

Listen to the wind words, the Spirit blowing through the churches.

Oh church, I see your women in the pews.

I see them spiritually shaping and discipling the hearts and minds of people in other countries, as they serve as missionaries all over the world.

I see them creating the constructs of our children's first encounters with God as Children's Pastors and Sunday school teachers

I see them calling our congregations to worship God in music and penning hymns of glory to God as Choir directors and musical leaders.

But I don't see them standing in front of our churches, microphone in hand, passion in their bellies, sharing their rich stories with us.

Women, it seems, are disqualified from shifting the souls of men.

Able bodied to lead, aptly called to serve, everywhere else but behind the pulpit. I don't hear their voices resonating through literature, headlining conferences or enriching our understanding of Jesus through their perspectives and giftings.

Those voices are scarce, almost silent. Sometimes they drift in the wind, tossing to and fro. But they never stay long, they are not constent.

Where are your women?

I fear that storytellers rich with wisdom, living under the authority of compassion and steeped with long suffering love are being laid to rest without ever being given voice.

Their stories go with them.

To the ground.

To the dust.

Are you awake?

Listen to the wind words, the Spirit blowing through the churches.

I see everything you do church. I see your love and the faith, the service and persistence of your passion. But where are your women who are preaching and interpreting the canon of Scripture? Where are the women preaching powerful, faithful, and compelling biblical expositions of the life, work and mission of our Christ? Where are the women calling our communities of faith to stare long and hard into the eyes of Christ?

Have you hidden them church?

Have you relegated them to the sidelines?

Have you told them that they can be disciple-makers by prayerfully speaking the Word of God to others, in whatever way and to whatever extent that their gifting and circumstances allow...just not from the pulpit?

I can't help but wonder church, if years from now, when our generation is gone, will the Christian minds of tomorrow wonder what we were thinking, when women changed the world and were left silenced in the church?

Women will always be, by nature lovers.They hold their lives loosely in their hands and pass it around, like Communion. Their whole life, a Eucharist of service and love and sacrifice through mundane tasks and mountain top moments alike.

Women.

The cressendo of God's creation.

But church, where are your women?

Are your ears awake?

Listen.

Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches

No single sweep of my pen can underline an answer to the question of women in ministry. But my spirit, oh my spirit longs for to hear the voice of the daugthers of Christ.

To see daugthers of the King, full of grace, beauty and radiance take their place with the sons of the King in teaching, preaching and procliaming the good news of the kingdom.

The good news of the Way.

The good news of our God.

My dream church of North America, is to see men and women together engaging in radical subordination and mutual submission, holding hands and holding authority together to steward the message of bountiful and wasteful grace. To let every mouth proclaim the good news of the gospel and the hopeful call of Christ.

It's more than just equal rights.

It's a longing for all who come into the Kingdom to join in community and be empowered to participate in a revolution that spreads the and leadership of the the body of Christ to call the church into the world for mission.

Together.

Men and women. Sharing, teaching, preaching, calling.

So that the world might taste. So that the world might hear. So that the world might see and know.

That the savior has come.

North American church, that I love so dear...

My conscience beats that we are all called
To be voices of justice, revolutionaries, prophets and priests.
Women of the way, women with flaws
With cellulitate and acne scars
Women with two feet on the ground and arms open wide
Beautiful women with the spark of the divine.
I will listen for your voices, you narratives, your exegesis.
Your passion, your perspective, your musings on Jesus.
To the church of North America, broken yet so beautiful.
Listen to the wind words, the Spirit blowing through your steeples
The wind of the spirit is empowering your women.
Give them voice as the creator has.
North American church!

Please.

Listen.

With love from one of your own,

Michelle

No women allowed

2010-06-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

I have been reading the blog lines with heightened curiosity this week. Two great posts emerged from Emerging Mummy and Carlos Whitaker. Carlos' blog posed the question of "where women speakers are?" and facilitated conversation, while Sarah's post focused on the controversial voting system for the upcoming conference "The Nines" and the notable absence of women in the speaker list. Both conversations and observations were important and well needed.

Most of the important words have been said on the subject, so I won't repeat words here. Please see their posts I linked above.

But what I will add to the conversation is the question that has perplexed me for years...where are the Canadian women? Though I am proud of my country, I know that I belong to another Kingdom and hold my ethnicity and heritage with open hands. But as a Christian living in Canada I have noticed the propensity at which Canadians are constantly subjected to Christian artists, preachers, teachers and dreamers from the United States. We have no "home grown" heroes of the faith that get significant air time and when it comes to the topic of Christian women in predominant leadership in Canada, our percentage is embarrassingly low.

I am absolutely honored to be a part of WorshipRises, which is a Canadian initiative to release worship resources for Canadians churches created by Canadians. It is one of the few initiatives that are highlighting the talent and calling of Canadian Christian worship leaders and pastors. I can't help but wonder what it would be like if we tried to start the same thing for women leaders in Canada.

Or would it even matter?

Women in ministry is such a convoluted topic, full of theological debates and passionate opinions. Nothing has caused me more significant personal confusion, stress and pain then the pursuit of a calling in ministry. I don't come by the Pastoral calling honestly, no one in my family has ever been in ministry, and I am not married to a Pastor. But I have had a sense, confirmed by others, since I was young, that at some point I would be involved in vocational ministry. What that looks like and the shape that has taken is in God's hands, but I have done what I can to search and pray to see where I can be of use in a significant way. I have taken to writing, speaking at para-church events, and hosting a radio show as a major teaching outlet for my ministry pursuits. But that coveted Sunday morning microphone, as a women, seems to be a far reach.

Having very few (if any) women mentors in Canadian christian ministry has been a constant sense of frustration for me. And let's face it, Canadians do church differently then those in States. Not on all fronts, but on many we are different, distinct, unique. Our voices and perceptions and interests are different than our neighbors to the South. There are many women in ministry that I could (and do) seek out for council, like children's pastors and music pastors...but finding women taking a significant role in teaching or leading adults is a whole other story.

It has always baffled me that we (the institutional church) let women shape and form the minds of people in other countries (missionaries), create the constructs of our children's first encounters with God (children's ministries) and call our congregations to worship God in music (music pastors) but we don't dare pass a microphone to a women on a Sunday morning.

The baby boomers are asking where the leaders of tomorrow are for the church and I can't help but wonder, if they gave up and headed to the corporate world....since many those leaders were women.

We tell our beautiful and precious daughters that they can be anything they want. We tell them they can dream and hope and believe anything they want for their future. They can seek educational opportunities, they can be a wife or a mother if they choose. They can change the face of the corporate world, or incite the passions and dreams of others through art and drama. But in good conscience we can't really tell them to seek seminary training with the hope that one day they could pastor. At least without equipping them with the knowledge that it will be an up hill battle, one they may never win.

There are so many nuances to this theological debate. There are those who scripturally disagree with a woman teaching. I by no means am attempting to glaze over a debate that has raged for 100's of years. But it just erks me that the practical application of that doctrinal position leaves the church pews full of women, full of potential, leading everywhere else but in Christianity.

I wonder if years from now, when our generation is gone, will the Christian minds of tomorrow wonder what we were thinking, when women changed the world and were left silenced in the church.

Just a thought.

Ontario Earthquake vs. Haiti Earthquake

2010-06-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

Unless you have been under a rock somewhere, you all know about the Earthquake in Canada. My fine friends in California would like to remind everyone it was a tremor. But to those of us, myself included, who have never felt the ground shake beneath my feet, it was a scary experience.

I was deep in the writers zone, tapping away on my laptop, when I heard a loud rumble outside. I thought perhaps my air conditioning was giving up the ghost and I stood up to shut it off. As I rose to my feet I started feeling dizzy, lightheaded and off balance. My mind was racing. Was it vertigo, was it that pita I had for lunch? The rumbling noise increased, my dog started growling and mirrors on my wall started shaking. My wine glass collection hanging under my cupboard started clanging together, and I exclaimed out loud a word I will not repeat and realized we were having an earthquake. It was 30 seconds I am not soon to forget.

My first instinct was to jump back on the computer, tweet and find out if anyone else had experienced what I just did. I soon found out the information that most of Ontario and into Quebec felt the rocking and rolling and realized that I had just survived my first earthquake.

My mind immediately went to Haiti.

It always goes there.

So does my heart.

Blame that on my sweet sponsor child Yanique.

Call me a drama queen, but I was honestly scared for a few minutes as my windows rattled. I couldn't imagine what I would have done if my house started to crumble around me. Where would I have gone? Into suburbia with the rest of my neighbors to line the streets and watch as our houses collapsed? Would I have called out to God, or angrily shook my firsts at him and asked the age old question "where are you?". Would I have hopped the fence and made sure my elderly neighbor made it out alive, or would my mind have switched over to self preservation mode?

Twitter, Facebook, News Stations and Talk radio were flooded with people sharing where they were when the quake happened. I joined in the hoopla of the tweets and updates and listened to my local radio station.

But when Haiti happened, people were tweeting because they were trapped under buildings, barely alive in the rubble. We tweeted political rhetoric and comical quotes, and people in Haiti tweeted for their lives.

It just reminds me again how I am worlds away here in the West. I am so far removed from mass natural disasters, extreme poverty and mass suffering. I am so removed, so sheltered.

Soon the quake here will become a distant memory, and news about the G8 and G20 summits will fill up the news wires and twitter lines. But in other parts of the world, like Haiti, the earthquake is still around them every moment of everyday. The smells, the sights, the loss, they are tangible and real.

I am still praying for Haiti, still donating and still being reminded to work out my faith with an ever present reminder of the people and places that are worlds away.

Sunday Setlist - June 13th, 2010

2010-06-14T13:43:00.000-07:00

Being a worship leader at a multi-site theatre church can be both challenging and exciting all wrapped up into one. Because of time constraints, we have a 4 song set every Sunday to call our community to worship, engage and hopefully emerge changed. This week was just plain old exciting. The musicians that I have the privilege of leading are just so talented. And I know everyone says that, but it is honestly true. This week, they took beautiful songs and translated them in new and fresh ways. I also had the opportunity to lead a song written by a fellow worship leader at our church and I love to sing the songs people in our community of faith are writing.

This week we sang:

Son of God - Starfield

A Greater Son - Paul Baloche

Look what You've done - Tree 63

Overflow - Sarah Walker

The Meeting House is a really interesting place to lead worship. A large percentage of those who attend our service are not regular church goers and are often not brought up in the church. With our two music services our music team sometimes is leading people for the first time in singing at a church. I was encouraged to hear some stories of those who are starting to value the music that was at first strange to them. The hope is always that eyes move off the front and get placed on God, and my hope is that this week, at least for a few minutes, people were able to connect in meaningful ways with Jesus through the musical expression of worship.

To connect and see what others are doing in their services and learn more about what Sunday Setlists is all about, check out TheWorshipCommunity.com athttp://www.theworshipcommunity.com/sunday-setlists-99/

"Jesus Manifesto" and my frustrations

2010-06-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

I was graciously sent a copy of “Jesus Manifesto” by Frank Viola and Len Sweet to read and review on my blog.

So far, all I can say is that the book has really bothered me.

I mean really bothered me.

Like couldn't sleep, paced the floor, kinda bothered me.

I am two chapters in and I had to put the book down.

Let me clarify: the book itself (so far) is actually quite fabulous. I can’t remember the last time I read a book that was more singularly focused on Jesus. The subtitle of this book is "Restoring the Supremacy and Sovereignty of Jesus Christ” and the book absolutely delivers on that level.

But "Jesus Manifesto” has served as somewhat of a time machine, transporting me back to my confusing and Christ-less Christianity of my youth and early twenties. It reminded me how little I was really taught about Jesus in the evangelical churches that I grew up in. And to be honest with you, I feel cheated and am dealing with those feelings today.

To the credit of those churches I attended, perhaps their view and understanding of Jesus was (and perhaps is) limited. Maybe those who taught me were only taught themselves about the God who wanted us to be healthy, wealthy and upstanding citizens. In those churches I learned an awful lot about the God who wanted to help me achieve my goals, the God who wanted me to be wise, and the God who wanted to help me build my business.

I was never taught about the Jesus who was counter cultural, missional, irreligious, peacemaking and controversial. I was encouraged to follow Christianity, but not so much encouraged to follow Christ.

So, thanks to Len, Frank and the book, I am being pushed back to reexamine from where I have came. I am being challenged to forgive. I am being challenged to glean the good, and spit out the bones. I am being challenged to pray for those still in those circles. I am being challenged to walk in humility with the new information about Christ I have learned, using attitudes and language that is gracious and encouraging, not condemning and judgmental. I am being challenged to be ever so careful not to presuppose I now “know it all” and be open to continue to learn, stretch and grow.

I am also keenly aware that I am not the only one to miss Christo-centric teaching in their upbringing and so my thoughts turn to them as well. To those who are struggling in what can be a times, a Christ-less Christianity, honestly, there is hope. There is hope for the bride, and hope for you. Hope that out of the mire of confusion you may have, you can find Jesus and a community of faith that preaches Christ.

I will resume the read of “Jesus Manifesto” soon and I will have a more comprehensive review. My frustration will not cause me to ignore the book or the memories it may incite. I am thankful for the tension it has caused and for the feelings it has brought up. It reminds me that another way is possible.

From the book:

"So many Christians are blissfully unaware of His vastness. They have settled for so much less and have known Him so little. But when the people of God get a sighting of their incomparable Lord every idol will be forced to the ground. The clouds of doubt will part from our eyes, and Jesus Christ will displace everything.”

From the press release:

Christians don’t follow Christianity; they follow Christ Christians don’t proclaim themselves; they proclaim Christ Christians don’t point people to core values; they point people to the Cross Christians don’t preach about Christ; they preach Christ What is presented is razor-sharp, cut-glass clarity of the Lord Jesus Christ. It has never been more valuable or more needed

The featured product in this post was provided to me free of charge by the author and Thomas Nelson Book Sneeze Review program. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company or other endorsement.

The authenticity of actually being authentic

2010-06-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

Have you ever known a Christian to be 24/7, 365 days a year, frightfully ecstatic towards Jesus? You know the ones that are rip roaring ready to go for God and leading the marching band for the “Happiest Christian on earth” parade? Their analogies about the gooey goodness of God, and the most-awesomest, awesome message of mercy, become so gumbled in Disneyland-esque rhetoric that it literally becomes a foreign language to those who aren't learned in “Christianese”.

Just me?

Or can you relate?

The pop-Christian world for the past few years has latched on to the term “Authenticity”. We found phrases like “transparency, and being real” and we flogged them to death. We used these terms so much that they became cliche and they lost their meaning.

You know. Sort of like Emergent/Emerging/Emerged.

Now every church, para-church, wanna-be-church is using/has used/will use the phrase “authentic”. My fear is that we will use the phrase, with little practical application in our own lives and what was a great push towards taking off our masks, will be nothing more than another failed attempt at holistic faith.

Even though us evangelicals are “being real” these days we still seem to have bubble gum Christians filling up our Facebook home feeds and garbling up our Twitter lines. The majority of the music we sing in church sounds like rainbows and lollipops and the books that line the shelves of our Christian bookstores still seem to ooze with Christian glitter.

There are days when I feel so close to Christ. Days when I feel like we are sipping wine on my deck and walking together in sync. And on those days, no doubt, I might mention that out loud. But, am I so apt to mention when Jesus feels like a million miles away, my faith just fell on the floor and I don’t even care to pick it up? Would I shout on Twitter, that you know what, today I am just too busy with my own agenda to really even bother with Jesus?

Doubt it.

Being really authentic costs us some things. Things I don’t want to give up. Like my pride, my time, my sense of self importance and the list goes on. Being real means modeling mutual submission, confession and humility in a Christian age where often the happy-go-lucky Christians seem to get center stage.

If you think about it, we often learn most from the people who can admit they have made a mistake. Something inside of us can resonate with someone who just isn’t cutting it all the time. For me personally, I often find it difficult to follow those in Christian ministry who can’t admit their faults or give voice to their frailties. Perhaps it levels the playing field in my mind, or perhaps it just offers me a picture of another traveler, longing for home, and working hard not to fumble so much on the journey.

Being authentic doesn’t mean having verbal diarrhea over anyone who asks “How are you doing”? But it can mean giving voice to your struggle with the appropriate people instead of hiding it. It can mean sharing with the world that all isn’t well today but that you are committed to see that change. It could mean asking for prayer on your social media venues instead of always sharing that you are the most groovy, far out Christian ever.

Authenticity doesn’t have to die a Christian-flogged death if we don’t let it. So, let’s take off the masks and see if we can revive “being real” before it becomes another cliche. You know the ones that are often talked about but rarely lived.

Mel's Diner

2010-04-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite diners burnt down yesterday. Lot's of memories went up in smoke. Many others in the community felt the same tinge of sadness. It got me wondering, how would I feel if the Starbucks I frequent burnt down? I would be sad for sure, but I would just shift down the street to the other Starbucks near my house. I can't really find another Mel's Diner...there was only one.

There is something to be said for local Mom and Pop shops that can't be replaced. In our society of chain everything, it made me pause and think about my spending habits and where I lay down my money for food.

RIP Mel's. You will be missed.

Jon Foreman on Song Writing

2010-04-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

Jon Foreman from Switchfoot offers some song writing advice on Twitter today. Words that I feel remind me what the art of creating is all about:

Question: "Do you have advice for songwriters like me?"
Answer: Enjoy music: treat her like the incredible gift that she is!and write honestly. Pain, joy, anger, love, fear- don't dumb your feelings down; express them in your art. Be Brave.

The Vertical Self - |Mark Sayers

2010-04-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

Mark Sayers and his book "The Vertical Self" was a challenging and scathingly insightful critique on our culture and the present age of social networking. The book was a success for me and in eleven chapters, Sayers teases out the propensity at which we create false identifies for ourselves through our public image and the eternal truth that God's acceptance of us is not found in the pages of our culture.

“Welcome to the world in which we are told we can be anyone we want to be, where identity is no longer based in sense of self but rather in the imagery we choose at any particular moment.”

Sayers biography states that he is the founder of über, a ministry in Melbourne, Australia that specializes in of youth and young adult discipleship. Clearly Sayers put his knowledge of pop culture to use as he convincingly paints a portrait of the 21st century tendency to put on the socially acceptable persona of "cool".

As the title may suggest the main premise of the book was to look at living "horizontally" verses "vertically." Sayers then prods the reader to concentrate on establishing a vertical relationship with God and the subsequent pursuit of a radical holiness, suggesting that in that pursuit lies the key to finding our true selves. I have wrestled with these concepts through my own writing and really enjoyed another perspective.

I struggle with the notion that this book could be more geared for a newer believer, because so often us "seasoned" Christians could use some reminders on these topics. But for someone who has never digested these concepts of social networking, the 21st century personality conundrum and the role Christ followers play in the mix, this book is a wonderful appetizer to wet the pallet.

I appreciated at the end of the book that there was a bible study for further investigation. I think it is a helpful tool to move the reader to the "now what?" section of this cultural analysis.

Overall I felt the book was worth the time, worth the reader, and worth the brain power to sort through these important and relevant issues.