Email Collections

Plant the potatoes: good one

2010-09-02T22:51:00.001-07:00

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Bubba: I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If

And then the fight started...

2010-08-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **** My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a weighing

Girlfriend 6.0 vs. Wife 1.0 Comparative Trial

2010-08-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other

Management Lesson....!!

2010-08-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a Pathan got on. Six feet four, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the conductor and said, "Pathan doesn't pay!" and

Raffle A Dead Donkey !

2010-08-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

A city boy, Raju, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for Rs 100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night." Raju replied: "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Raju said: "OK then,

Grant you one wish

2010-08-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded uabove his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for

Never argue with a woman

2010-08-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, ( thinking ,

Doctor recommendations : U will Like it

2010-08-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

I love this Doctor Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I

Pakistan and US true allies

2010-08-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Mohammed, a Pakistani child, entered his classroom on the first day of school in Ohio (USA) "What is your name?" - asked the teacher. "Mohammed". . .. - answered the kid. "You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny," -replied the teacher. In the evening, Mohammed returned home. "How was your day, Mohammed?" - asked his mother. "My name is not Mohammed. I'm in America and

Obama's Presidential Car....!!!!

2010-08-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

Wife is a Wife.

2010-08-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

A Wife is a Wife, no matter who THE HELL you are!! | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |

Religious Indian

2010-08-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

An Indian in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance. Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om Hari Om Hari Om. When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?' They replied 'Because he kept saying - Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

A to Z

2010-08-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

OK We all know what ABCD is... ABCD = American Born Confused Desi. so how about an ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ ?s American Based Confused Desi, Emigrated From Gujarat, Housed In Jersey, Keeping Lotsa Motels, Named Omkar Patel, Quickly Reached Success Through Underhand Vicious Ways, Xenophobic Yet Zestful. .....dare to beat that?

TWO EYES

2010-08-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

Do you know the relation between two eyes? They never see each other....... ... BUT They blink together They move together They cry together They see things together They sleep together They share a very deep bonded relationship However, when they see a woman, one will blink and another will not. Moral of the story: | | | | \/ Women can

Congrats to all Indians !

2010-07-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

Good news to all of us. UNESCO announces INDIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM as the BEST National Anthem in the World. Jana gana mana adhinayaka jaya heBharata bhagya vidhataPunjab Sindhu Gujarat MaarathaDravida Utkal BangaVindhya Himachal Yamuna Ganga Uchchala Jaladhi TarangaTava shubha name jageTava shubha ashish maangeGahe tava jaya gatha Jana gana mangala dayak jaya heBharata bhagya vidhataJaya he, Jaya

Self appraisal Good One

2010-07-05T21:48:00.001-07:00

Good One - A BEAUTIFUL STORY A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cashcounter of a store and dialed a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation: Boy : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? Woman :(at the other end of the phone line) "I already havesomeone to cut my lawn." Boy :"Lady, I will cut

What is Appraisal ????..........

2010-06-23T03:53:00.000-07:00

Is it like working hard full year & finding yourself at the same position where you started???

Malayalee in an interview

2010-06-18T00:25:00.001-07:00

Beating the employment trap: Enjoy it Bill Gates organized an interview to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One of them is Jose from Kerala Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave. 2000 people leave the room. Jose says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a

Mind your Manners while flying

2010-06-17T04:46:00.000-07:00

Tame the shrew in you – watch your Etiquettes while travelling Business Travel Etiquette Rules and Tips to Follow on Airplanes Business travel etiquette rules and tips are applicable for everyone who travels on airplanes. Too frequently, business travelers and others who violate these etiquette rules diminish the overall airline passenger experience for everyone involved – including

NECK EXERCISE!!

2010-05-18T05:15:00.001-07:00

Ramayana by Bill Gates...

2010-05-17T01:54:00.001-07:00

When Bill Gates was in India, he had a chance 2 listen Ramayana from Atal Behari Vajpayee. After, returning 2 US he wrote it in his personal Diary.A Tabloid in US got a copy of his writings. These are excerpts from his diary. Ramayana by Bill Gates... LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his

Sachin Tendulkar First Interview

2010-05-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

Three envelopes!

2010-05-11T06:14:00.001-07:00

Sometime after a man died, his widow, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. "He thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, he called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Honey,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have

Jeena isi ka naam hai

2010-05-10T06:01:00.000-07:00

"Bhaiyyon aur Behanon. Today in our studios we have a well known personality from Bollywood, Ms Lisa Chopra. Who has not heard of Lisa ? Actually no one apart from her family cares for the answer but that is not the point. She set the industry alight with her debut film "Mere Dost ki Biwi Truck Driver ke saath Bhag gayin". She filmed such immortal numbers like "Patang uda do Saree mein" and "Om

What Happens in Heaven

2010-05-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true: I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This Is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to GOD said in prayer are Received..' I looked around in this area, and it was