Emma King-Farlow

Emma vs Technology

2009-06-18T17:18:00.008+01:00

Like Alien vs Predator (though with slightly less gore and rather more swearing), the saga of Emma vs Technology continues.

I may have mentioned this before but, in the present circumstances, I feel it bears repeating: Technology Hates Me. It truly does. From the computer I still think of as 'new' that now insists on blue-screening with increasing regularity, to the mobile broadband that only lives up to half of its name (Mobile? Well, yes. Broadband? Not so much), the technological trappings of the modern world seem to be conspiring against me.

I have, however, managed to stay online with a non-blue screen and working broadband long enough in the last couple of days to get a few things done, including this very update that you see before you. I have turned my Twitter profile picture green in common with 20,000+ others, updated the Athlone Trust website in time for their next fundraising run on July 12th, paid an extremely rare visit to Facebook, exchanged a number of e-mails at a significantly-speedier-than-snail's pace (what joy!) and been able to receive a brilliant e-card featuring a wooden spoon with more talent at cookery than Delia and Jamie combined!

If things continue going my way, I shall soon be back to give you my impressions of Peter Pan, which I am going to see tonight in Kensington Gardens. A belated birthday treat, I have been looking forward to it for ages - fingers crossed that it lives up to the hype!

All the Fun of the Fair?

2009-04-19T21:42:00.007+01:00

I am going to The London Book Fair for the first time tomorrow.

I'm not quite sure what to expect - I've heard both good and bad reports from people in the know - but this year they are offering an interesting program of seminars on various aspects of writing, publishing and marketing children's books, not to mention a shiny new Author Lounge to hang out in, so it seems to be as good a time as any to dip my toe in the water!

I shall let you know how I get on...

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T20:29:00.007+01:00

There is a Green Hill Far Away
Cecil Frances Alexander (1818-1895)

There is a green hill far away,
Without a city wall,
Where the dear Lord was crucified,
Who died to save us all.

We may not know, we cannot tell,
What pains He had to bear,
But we believe it was for us
He hung and suffered there.

He died that we might be forgiven,
He died to make us good,
That we might go at last to heaven,
Saved by His precious blood.

There was no other good enough
To pay the price of sin;
He only could unlock the gate
Of heaven, and let us in.

O dearly, dearly has He loved!
And we must love Him too,
And trust in His redeeming blood,
And try His works to do.

HAPPY EASTER!

The Oxford Literary Festival

2009-04-07T23:10:00.011+01:00

I spent the weekend at the Sunday Times Oxford Literary Festival and, once again, had a fantastic time. The weather was gorgeous, the location (Christ Church college) both beautiful and convenient, and attendance at nine events, shoe-horned into a little less than forty-eight hours, saw the setting of a new personal record!

The highlights included an extremely entertaining debate between children’s writers Helena Pielichaty and Penny Dolan (Penny arguing in favour of fantasy in children’s books, whilst Helena championed reality), a wonderful talk by former Children’s Laureate, Michael Morpurgo, and a moving presentation by ex-Royal Marine, Pen Farthing, who not only managed to rescue a large number of mistreated dogs while serving in Afghanistan, but has also now set up the charity Nowzad Dogs to continue the good work. You can read more about Pen's experiences (and help the dogs by doing so) in his brilliant book, One Dog at a Time: Saving the Strays of Helmand.

I also very much enjoyed Martin Brasier and Emma Darwin's fascinating joint event, which was ostensibly concerned with Charles Darwin and the Cambrian explosion, but turned out to be incredibly wide-ranging, covering everything from fossils to metaphors, by way of the Wars of the Roses! I was delighted to get my copy of Emma's latest book, A Secret Alchemy, signed afterwards and greatly look forward to reading it - the first paragraph has me hooked!

The train home to Paddington was sweltering, though thankfully not as crowded as the one up to Oxford two days beforehand had been, and we arrived back in London to discover that the Hammersmith and City Line was closed for 'engineering works' - grrr! Despite these hitches, however, nothing was able to dampen my spirits after such a great weekend - nor to dissuade me from going again next year!

Now That's Magic!

2009-03-25T16:39:00.004Z

After being directed to the following YouTube clip by a fellow member of the wonderful WriteWords writers' community, I couldn't resist sharing it with you. I hope it will give you, too, enough giggles to brighten your afternoon!

All you need is the most basic knowledge of Harry Potter...

The 39 Steps

2009-03-21T15:58:00.007Z

To celebrate my father's birthday yesterday (Happy Birthday, Dad!) we went to see The 39 Steps at the Criterion Theatre in Piccadilly Circus.

With a mere four actors playing 139 characters in 100 minutes, the show promised to be funny, fast and furious. And, happily, it kept that promise. Inventive, clever, entertaining, amusing - in many places, laugh-out-loud comical and jaw-droppingly creative - there are an absurd number of adjectives that I could use to describe this production, but I shall attempt to restrain myself!

What I will tell you is that my mother (who is not a huge fan of trekking up to the West End for any reason) considered it the perfect type of show (comedy action adventure), in the perfect location (just next to Piccadilly Circus tube station, so no long changes at Green Park required) and lasting the perfect length of time (1hr 45 mins, including the interval). If it was good enough to convert her, then just imagine what it could do for you... ;-)

No prior knowledge of the book or various film and television adaptations is required. 'Richard Hannay' does a very good job of introducing himself and explaining his situation as the story begins, and the old-style radio broadcasts that punctuate the action thoughout the show keep even the most obtuse audience member up to date as the poor man is chased up and down the country, trying to protect state secrets, unearth foreign spies and escape from a police force determined to arrest him for a murder he did not commit!

After something of a theatrical drought, I now have a few more theatre trips booked for the next couple of months, including Brief Encounter in April and the (hopefully) spectacular Peter Pan for my own birthday in June. If the upcoming shows - all of which I have heard good things about - are anywhere near as impressive as yesterday night's was, I shall be a very happy theatregoer indeed...

A Delightful Day

2009-03-17T22:08:00.007Z

Many thanks indeed to the pupils and staff of the Virgo Fidelis Preparatory School, who made me so welcome when I went to spend their School Book Day with them yesterday.

In the morning I visited three separate classes - the Nursery, Reception and Year 1 - all of whom were delightful and very generous with their lovely hugs! After reading Uncle Alonzo’s Beard, I conducted a short quiz on the book. Each correct answer, of which there were many, won an Alonzo badge. Following the quiz, the children were able to turn the tables on me and ask any questions that they wanted to. I then finished the session by introducing them to one of Alonzo’s relatives, My Scandalous Sister Sophia – a terribly badly behaved little girl, who I am certain had little in common with the angelic nippers of Virgo Fidelis! ;-)

In the afternoon I had the privilege of sitting in on illustrator Garry Parsons' wonderfully engaging workshop with the older pupils. Then, at the end of the day, we both had the chance to chat with the children and say hello to their parents, whilst signing the books that Adriana from the marvellous Tales on Moon Lane bookshop had sold.

Lots of photographs were taken, all of which I am certain were absolutely hideous! I don’t consider myself to be the most photogenic of people at the best of times, but yesterday I was sporting crazy hair, a shiny face and scrunched up eyes (we were outside, staring into the sun) on top of everything else! I can only hope that the incriminating pictures will all end up locked in a deep, dark vault somewhere, never to see the light of day again...

I must offer particular thanks to the Deputy Headmistress, Mrs Pollard, and to VFPS parent, family friend and all-round fantastic person, Isabelle Blake-James, who organised the whole day. It was a real pleasure to visit Virgo Fidelis and I look forward to returning at some time in the future. :-)

Free and Easy(ish!)

2009-02-21T17:29:00.017Z

As previously discussed, I am more than a little 'challenged' in the technological knowledge department. (We're on to Web 2.0 already? Really??) Forgive me, therefore, if you've already heard about any or all of the following websites and software, or if I fail to do them justice with my brief explanations of what they are and what you can do with them. I was just so impressed - and in a few cases delighted - when I came across them in my recent bout of web-wandering that I wanted to spread the word. I hope that others out there may be just as pleasantly surprised by them as I was.

AlphaInventions.com is a fantastic site that strives to help blog readers and webmasters/bloggers connect in real time. It can also help readers find their way to a wide variety of interesting new blogs to explore and, for bloggers, can greatly increase traffic to their sites.

Audacity is free, open source software for audio recording and editing. It is likely to be of particular use to podcasters and any writers who (like me) might be thinking of recording snippets of their work to put on their websites or blogs. I also intend to try using it to put together a CD of sound effects and music for the next play that I put on...

Celtx is a gift to writers and directors everywhere, no matter which their chosen form of storytelling. As the official website says, 'Unlike scriptwriting software, you can use Celtx for the entire pre-production process - write scripts, storyboard scenes and sequences, develop characters, breakdown and tag elements, schedule production, and prepare detailed and informative production reports for cast and crew.' There are some excellent tutorial videos on the site that demonstrate just what Celtx can do - why not go and have a look?

The creators' description of 'the most widely used opensource bulletin board system in the world' will certainly be of more use than any I might devise: 'Whether you want to stay in touch with a small group of friends or are looking to set up a large multi-category board for a corporate website, phpBB has the features you need built in. Newer users will appreciate [the] extensive administration panel, which allows the customization of even the most intricate features without having to edit code directly, while advanced users will value the ease with which phpBB can be integrated into existing systems... No other bulletin board software offers a greater complement of features, while maintaining efficiency and ease of use.'

TweetDeck aims to help users get the most out of Twitter, allowing a broader overview of tweets and enabling easier communication between people. Instead of one endless stream of tweets, you can choose to split your main feed into topic or group-specific columns, each of which will automatically update and inform you when it does so. You can also perform all the usual actions (posting your own tweets, replying to others, sending Direct Messages, checking other users' profiles, searching etc), as well as a number of other things I haven't yet worked out(!), from TweetDeck without needing to return to Twitter itself.

And there you have it - my top five online discoveries of late. I haven't yet had a chance (or a reason) to try all of them out, but those that I have not yet used I have bookmarked to return to in the future.

Obviously, I will not be creating anything similar myself. And that's okay. I know where my talents lie and it's definitely not in this area! But the fact that certain people with these particular talents and capabilities have chosen to share their creations so freely with the rest of us seems to me to display a genuinely cheering generosity of spirit, for which I truly thank them.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T15:22:00.007Z

Sonnet 116
William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Snow Day!

2009-02-02T15:44:00.007Z

Having finally worked out how to transfer photos from my phone to the computer, I have unfortunately (but possibly, for those who know me, unsurprisingly) misplaced the USB cable that would allow me to do so. Happily, however, I took the camera rather than the phone with me on my walk today...

Who knew London could look like this? And it's actually still snowing...

*****

Unrelated to the snow, but the lovely Nik Perring, who is always first to publicise other people's successes, has had a story of his nominated for the Six of the Month Award. The winner is decided by readers' votes so do please go along, enjoy reading and have a vote!

Goodbye to January

2009-01-31T18:29:00.011Z

Well, today is officially the last day on which you can wish a 'Happy New Year' to someone you haven't seen in a long time. By February all hope is lost - it'll either be a happy year or it won't, but either way there's no turning back.

2009 has already been something of a mixed bag for me. Positive highlights include attending a very interesting and informative 'Get Started in Voice Overs' workshop at Shining Management, confirming two school visits for March and starting work on my first playscript. On the negative side, my mother had to go into hospital for 8 days, the playwriting course I wanted to do was cancelled at the last minute and I've also found myself plagued by strange dreams about people I haven't seen in years - very odd!

I'm intrigued to see what the next month will bring...

Fangs Ain't What They Used to Be!

2009-01-09T17:01:00.012Z

Have you read Twilight yet? Seen the film? Can you name one or all of the sequels? If you answered no to all of the questions above then you are, these days, a rarer creature than you would once have been. International Twilight fever continues unabated, particularly among the female of the species.

This review in the Guardian, covering both the film and the book, made me laugh. As well as making a few indignant points about the different way in which author Stephenie Meyer has chosen to present her vampires - defanged and dressed in (oh, the unspeakable horror of it!) beige - it confirms that the Twilight phenomenon is all but irresistible to any who choose to dip even the tiniest of their toes in the water. However much they claim not to want to, people seem unable to stop themselves from finishing first the original book, then the series, and, finally, going to see the film.

As for those who do want to do any of these things, well, they clearly want to do them as many times as humanly possible and then once more, just for kicks. Following the example set by the Mamma Mia obsessives, it is not unheard of for certain Twilight fans to book several showings in the same week. Now, I'm all for repeat viewings of films or re-reading of books I've enjoyed, but only when it doesn't cost me any more to do so, i.e. when I own a copy of the literary or cinematic creation in question. London cinemas aren't exactly cheap these days, even in the suburbs!

Once, therefore, was enough for me. I saw the film recently and, despite being distracted by the quartet of tweenage girls behind me staging the world's noisiest in-cinema picnic and quoting most of the film's lines a few seconds ahead of the characters on screen (definitely not their first viewing), I managed to take in enough of it to appreciate the following spoof, which I was directed to via Twitter. Having said that, you won't need to have seen any more than the television trailers in order to recognise enough to make you grin...

Twelfth Night

2009-01-06T19:12:00.009Z

It is Twelfth Night or Epiphany tonight, so I shall be enjoying my family's traditional Twelfth Night dinner to mark the end (sob!) of all things Christmassy for another year. For me, 2009 begins in earnest tomorrow...

An extract from Journey of the Magi
T.S. Eliot (1885-1965)

'A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.'
And the camels galled, sore-footed, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet...

...Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wine-skins,
But there was no information, and so we continued
And arrived at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you may say) satisfactory.

All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly,
We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

Read the complete poem or listen to T.S. Eliot himself reading it to you here, courtesy of the wonderful Poetry Archive, a wide-ranging collection of recordings of major poets reading their own work.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T23:12:00.012Z

At the end of the first full year for both my blog and my website, a quick review of the visitor statistics reveals some rather interesting facts.

The website has been host to visitors from 45 different countries, including Azerbaijan, South Korea and Ukraine! They have been lead there by a wide variety of search terms. The most common of these have all included some variation on my own name or Uncle Alonzo's, but prizes for the most bizarre must surely go to "chocolate fireworks", "Paul Cookson poetry about furniture" and "once again many thanks for the lovely afternoon evenning endeed" (sic)! You can decide for yourself which one deserves first place!

This blog has been visited by the inhabitants of 27 assorted countries, including Croatia, Finland and Taiwan. Among the strangest search terms to bring them here were "shivery chills", "woodlice as medical cure" and "Stacey Farquharson". I assume that the first two searches would have lead to last February's post on Modern Marvels & Curious Cures, while Stacey F would have linked to January's What's in a Name. A rather odd thought, since I employed the two names together in that post specifically because I imagined that no-one else would ever do so! It certainly is a funny old world.

Since I appear to be revisiting old posts with a vengeance today, I'll seize the moment and remind you of just one more: My Child, I Recycled. Once again the Woodland Trust is eager to encourage the recycling of old Christmas cards and the subsequent planting of new trees. Please support them if you can.

And there it was - my first post of 2009. There may have been some (extremely) quiet times, but the blog has survived its first year, which, if I'm honest, is more than I thought it might when I began.

So here's to the next year and to a very happy, healthy and prosperous 2009 for everyone! Cheers!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy Christmas!

2008-12-24T22:42:00.009Z

An Extract from Christmas
Sir John Betjeman (1906-1984)

And is it true? And is it true,
This most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's hue,
A Baby in an ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea

Become a Child on earth for me?

And is it true? For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,

Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant,

No love that in a family dwells,
No carolling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this simple truth compare -
That God was Man in Palestine
And lives today in Bread and Wine.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

Tweet, tweet!

2008-12-17T21:24:00.003Z

Call me insane (since I clearly am) but I've just signed up to Twitter. I'm not at all sure why I've done this, since I've yet to decipher the basic functions on Facebook and regular blogging has obviously not become the ingrained habit that I hoped it would, but, who knows, perhaps Twitter will be different. At 140 characters per update, how taxing could it be? ;-)

As you will hopefully see, I've added the gadget/widget/badge thingy to my sidebar to enable anyone who's interested to read my latest 'tweets'...

A Bookaholic's Christmas

2008-12-08T11:38:00.011Z

Over the last couple of months it has become all too clear that 12 Step Programmes are of no use to me - abstinence only makes the heart grow fonder, I'm afraid. My name is Emma King-Farlow and I'm more of a bookaholic than ever!

After a relatively short but painful period of Book-Buying Deprivation, the last month's vital statistics are as follows:

Books In: Far, far too many! (Let me detail the ones I can remember - Books from a second hand stall at a local Christmas Market: 7, Books on my own and other people's library cards: 31, Books from The Book People: 2 large orders, Books on order from Amazon: 16, Books from assorted other places: 17.)

Books Out: 3 (Erm, in the sense that I took three books back to the library, that is. The fact that I brought 5 more home to replace them negated my triumph somewhat, but what can I say - it's a start, no?)

For those who may be wondering about the state of my sagging shelves, worry not. Shelves are no longer an issue since I have no more to offer. My newly arrived volumes are, I shudder to say it, homeless. They have formed their own little cliques and commandeered various corners of my study, patches of carpet and sections of desktop. There they mutter mutinously to one another about the kind of people who just 'go ahead and buy them' without giving any thought to matters of accommodation!

I dread to think how annoyed they're going to be when the Christmas crowd joins them... ;-)

P.S. In honour of the season, I have also added a 'Festive Fun' page to my website. If you find yourself in possession of a few spare moments or you are feeling particularly bored, you might like to amble over there and tackle the Christmas-themed wordsearch and crossword.

Answers will appear in January.

Lest We Forget

2008-11-11T15:33:00.009Z

Aftermath

Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967)

Have you forgotten yet?...
For the world's events have rumbled on since those gagged days,
Like traffic checked a while at the crossing of city ways:
And the haunted gap in your mind has filled with thoughts that flow
Like clouds in the lit heavens of life; and you're a man reprieved to go,
Taking your peaceful share of Time, with joy to spare.
But the past is just the same — and War's a bloody game...
Have you forgotten yet?...
Look down, and swear by the slain of the War that you'll never forget.

Do you remember the dark months you held the sector at Mametz —
The nights you watched and wired and dug and piled sandbags on parapets?
Do you remember the rats; and the stench
Of corpses rotting in front of the front-line trench —
And dawn coming, dirty-white, and chill with a hopeless rain?
Do you ever stop and ask, 'Is it all going to happen again?'

Do you remember that hour of din before the attack —
And the anger, the blind compassion that seized and shook you then
As you peered at the doomed and haggard faces of your men?
Do you remember the stretcher-cases lurching back
With dying eyes and lolling heads — those ashen-gray
Masks of the lads who once were keen and kind and gay?

Have you forgotten yet?...
Look up, and swear by the green of the spring that you'll never forget!

(March 1919)

Picture courtesy of The Royal British Legion

Happy Hallowe'en!

2008-10-31T15:43:00.009Z

THE HAG
Robert Herrick (1648)

The Hag is astride,
This night for to ride;
The Devil and she together:
Through thick, and through thin,
Now out, and then in,
Though ne’er so foul be the weather.

A Thorn or a Burr
She takes for a Spur:
With a lash of a Bramble she rides now,
Through Brakes and through Briars,
O’er Ditches, and Mires,
She follows the Spirit that guides now.

No Beast, for his food,
Dares now range the wood;
But hush't in his lair he lies lurking:
While mischiefs, by these,
On Land and on Seas,
At noon of Night are a working,

The storm will arise,
And trouble the skies;
This night, and more for the wonder,
The ghost from the Tomb
Affrighted shall come,
Called out by the clap of the Thunder.

I have to admit that I'm not a huge fan of Hallowe'en these days. The mini trick or treaters tottering around the neighbourhood with one or more suitable adults in tow are sweet enough, but there are always those few absurdly large and suspiciously old callers (please, you probably earn more than me - by the look of it, you might even be older than me - and yet still you're here demanding sweets/cash/my first-born child...) who seem to consider the entire festival a licence to solicit various goods with menaces.

The whole thing reminds me of another set of unwelcome visitors whose company we can expect to enjoy in the not-too-distant future: Bad Carol Singers. Now, I've got absolutely nothing against good carol singers - I've even been one myself on numerous occasions - but I'm afraid that the bad ones make me want to do extremely unseasonal things, both to them and to anyone else unfortunate enough to stray across my path at the time of their visit.

These caterwauling carollers hammer away at the door until you open it - no use hiding in the back room and waiting for the tenacious blighters to go away - and then regale you with three or four terrifyingly tuneless lines of 'Good King Wenceslas', before holding out their hands for payment. Muttering with resentment, you rootle out a quid or two and press it into their palms, all the while cursing yourself for your weakness and praying that you've given them enough to make them go away. After all, that is what you're paying them for - leaving. It's the 'leaving' that makes surrendering your money so worthwhile, not the 'music' that precedes it. As for where that money might be going, well, I usually find it advisable not to ask - discretion being the better part of valour and all that.

However, I digress. My 'atrocious carol singers' rant is several weeks premature (rather like those chocolate advent calendars that have adorned supermarket shelves since mid-to-late September) and I have sweets to pile by the door, pumpkins to carve and spooky lighting to arrange. Let the annual onslaught of witches, monsters and assorted other mythical creatures begin...

From Ghosties and Ghoulies
And long-leggity Beasties
And all things that go bump in the night -
Good Lord, deliver us!
Anon

Happy Hallowe'en!

When You're Making Other Plans

2008-08-03T17:17:00.010+01:00

‘Life is what happens when you’re making other plans’ – that’s what they say, anyway. And it would seem that ‘they’ are right, more often than not.

As clearly stated in my last blog entry, I had planned to finish the first draft of my YA novel by June 17th and decided to observe a self-imposed blog-ban (both writing my own and reading others) until then. All possible distractions and aids to procrastination were to be avoided – on pain of something slightly less drastic than dismemberment. I was determined. I was driven. I was definitely going to make it... I had no idea that the beginning of August would see me still several thousand words from achieving my goal, despite having stuck to my blog-fast with a fanaticism worthy of several great religions.

I have come to the conclusion that there are three main reasons for this state of affairs, each of which also comes with an upside:

1) I had drastically underestimated how much more work I had left to do. I returned to the manuscript to find that I had summarised a number of major scenes and events in a few sentences, e.g. ‘S is captured and taken to C. He attempts to convince her to join him. She will not do so. Her friends rescue her – not sure how yet.’ In my mind, these scenes had been completed long ago – on paper, sadly, it was not so.

Upside: I had also forgotten quite how much I liked some parts of it!

2) The Athlone Trust, a small charity which my father chairs, needed a website built, sponsors found (four runners entered the British 10K Run on the charity’s behalf this year), letters written, envelopes addressed and stuffed, and research done – all at relatively short notice. It’s a great charity and I was very happy to help, but doing so certainly threw my writing schedule into wild disarray!

Upside: The final figures have not yet been worked out but it looks as though we will have raised over £3,000 when all the money is in and counted – half of the Trust’s usual annual budget. Brilliant!

3) Our house and garden have once again been invaded by builders and, having devoted sizeable chunks of last October/November to evacuating and juggling the contents of three upstairs rooms and the landing, I have recently also spent large amounts of time helping to evacuate and juggle the contents of the kitchen, the dining room and the hall. Tomorrow morning the builders will be sealing the kitchen door shut and ripping the whole thing out. RIP, old friend...

Despite having always loved the old room, however, the process of cleaning it out has revealed to me that the kitchen is, in fact, the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. Ours is a hoarding house, filled with junk, piles of ‘stuff I might need at some as yet indefinable future moment’ and paperwork of all kinds, dating back to the Jurassic era and beyond. I now realise that the driving force behind this absurd stockpiling of, well, everything, is the kitchen. Diving headfirst into cupboards of Narnian proportions (though, sadly, without anything as exciting as a snowy world populated by mythical creatures lurking in the back of them – the most interesting things we found were two old fashioned meat grinders, each in three easy-to-assemble parts), I discovered incredible quantities of crockery (Who has this much crockery? Who?!!), the culinary detritus of decades and heaps of assorted junk gathered together like gossipy housewives in all available corners, nooks and crannies. It’s just not normal, I tell you – no one keeps this much stuff!

Upside: Hmm, I’m struggling with this one. I suppose it’s that the sparkly new kitchen should look lovely when the builders finally unseal the door and let us back in some weeks from now... :-)

P.S: It’s some time ago now, but wasn’t this year’s Wimbledon final fantastic? I was rooting for Federer so that he could make history – how long will we have to wait before someone else has the talent and the opportunity to win the Men’s Singles title at Wimbledon six times in succession? – but Nadal was certainly a very worthy winner. Tennis fans are extremely lucky to have two such talented and courteous champions at the top of the game – each as gracious in victory as in defeat. It’s only a shame that at the end of such a bravura performance, one of them had to lose.

Back in June

2008-05-19T14:50:00.013+01:00

Apologies, one and all, for the delay in letting you know that I would be taking a break from blogging until mid-June. I should have posted a note to that effect a few weeks ago. My birthday on the 17th June is also my self-imposed deadline for the completion of the first draft of my Young Adult novel, tentatively titled The Forging, so I am currently neck-deep in research, writing and re-writing. All things 'net-related' have been put on hold for a while but I will be back, you have my word!

In the meantime, given the continuing inability of John Lewis to supply me with a Leg Master machine, I have invested in a rather snazzy pair of FitFlops - cunningly engineered flip-flops which promise to give you 'a workout while you walk'. They've been popping up all over the place in the press lately and when I read what other users had to say about them, I thought I'd give them a try. They did take a little getting used to - I spent the first couple of hours wobbling my way around the place - but now I'm striding about like a well-balanced pro. There are loads of designs to choose from on the main site but I bought mine from Boots.com where there was significantly less choice (four styles only) on offer, but many more Advantage Card points to be had - and (to steal a phrase from a well-known supermarket) in these straitened times, 'every little helps!' ;-)

Vital statistics for the last few weeks:

Books In: Oodles (Even my library card is full - though those volumes at least will eventually be evicted...)

Books Out: None (Big surprise, I know - so unlike me!)

And finally, as a Londoner, I am still buzzing from the results of the mayoral election at the beginning of the month. 'Ding dong, the witch is dead' indeed! I really didn't think it could happen but, bless me, it did - Ken Livingstone has gone at last. Boris Johnson may on occasion evoke images of hyperactive Old English Sheepdogs bounding about and knocking things over (I feel compelled to point out that the nickname 'Bojo' does nothing to dispel this impression), but the early signs are encouraging. London life just might be about to improve... :-)

I hope everyone is well. If any events of monumental national importance should occur within the next few weeks (and, no, the Crewe by-election does not qualify!) I might just pop in to say hello and compare notes, but otherwise I'll see you again in June!

The News in Brief

2008-04-04T23:23:00.005+01:00

1. Uncle Alonzo will shortly be enjoying life in foreign climes! Yes, the excessively beardy fellow’s nefarious plans for world domination continue apace – various rights have been bought and sold and he will soon be making guest appearances in Denmark, Korea and Brazil!

2. Whilst Alonzo is gadding about the globe, my own travel ambitions are rather more modest. I am heading off to the Oxford Literary Festival tomorrow at (almost) the crack of dawn - hence the extreme brevity of this post! I have now signed up for a ridiculous number of talks, presentations and panel events. One of the talks that I was originally due to attend was cancelled a week or so ago, so I naturally went looking for a replacement. I found three. I'm not sure that I am fully prepared for the weekend of madness, mayhem and 'frantic rushing about the place' that now awaits me.

3. I am still waiting for John Lewis to get in some replacement Leg Master machines. In fact, forget ‘some’, a simple ‘one’ would be fine – as long as they sold that one to me, of course!

4. This week’s rather abbreviated vital statistics:
Books In: 17
Books Out: O
(People are starting to complain and the shelves are definitely showing signs of sagging...)

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T18:18:00.008Z

Easter
George Herbert (1593-1633)

I got me flowers to strew thy way;
I got me boughs off many a tree;

But thou wast up by break of day,
And brought'st thy sweets along with thee.

The sun arising in the east,
Though he gave light, and the east perfume,
If they should offer to contest
With thy arising, they presume.

Can there be any day but this,
Though many suns to shine endeavour?
We count three hundred, but we miss:
There is but one, and that one ever.

Happy Easter, everyone!

And A Good Time Was Had By All!

2008-03-15T18:16:00.004Z

Yesterday I had the privilege of visiting Lytton House, the Junior Department of Putney High School, and giving a reading of Uncle Alonzo’s Beard to the Reception, Year 1 and Year 2 children, before answering their questions about the book, My Freaky Family (the series that Alonzo belongs to), publishing and writing in general. I also had the chance to introduce them to Great Uncle Fred – another member of the family – and his most unusual pet!

The girls were a delightful and enthusiastic audience – very attentive during the readings and full of interesting questions afterwards. I’m only sorry that there wasn’t enough time to answer all of them before the session was over! I definitely got the impression that there were more than a few budding authors, illustrators and future publishers out there... :-)

At the end of the afternoon, it was a lovely surprise to be presented with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and three wonderful thank you cards – created by the girls themselves – which are now sitting proudly on the shelves above my writing desk.

Many thanks indeed to both Miss Brennan and Putney parent Gill Mais for organising the whole event, and to all the girls for making me feel so welcome. I look forward to visiting again soon...

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

2008-03-13T16:57:00.008Z

Lately, there’s been a lot of all three around. I’m not going to dwell on the usual newspaper fodder – crazy weather, annoying (possibly corrupt) politicians, shamefully mistreated military personnel, crime, violence, binge drinking and mind-bendingly dull ‘celebrities’. I’m sure you already know all you ever wanted to (and probably quite a bit more) about those subjects. Instead, I offer you just a few examples of each from my own recent experience:

The Good:

1. The members of lovely online writing community WriteWords have been enjoying a lot of success lately. Recently published books include Mothernight by Sarah Stovell, A Vengeful Longing by Roger Morris, Chips, Beans and Limousines by Leila Rasheed, Thorn in the Flesh by Anne Brooke, Split by a Kiss by Luisa Plaja, and Ways to Live Forever by Sally Nicholls - also the well-deserved winner of the Waterstones Children’s Book Prize.

2. I have discovered (via a WW tip) The Big Green Bookshop blog – it’s always been a secret (or perhaps not so secret) ambition of mine to open my own bookshop at some time in the future, and reading about how these guys have done just that is really inspiring. I wish them the very best of luck!

3. Having wanted a fob watch for ages – and more specifically for Shadow Road’s Christmas production a few months ago – but not having any money to spend on a ‘proper’ one, I stumbled across an attractive faux-silver one at my nearest tube station the other day. At a mere £6 for the watch, chain and a spare battery, I thought it was something of a bargain!

The Bad:

1. My excellent ‘Leg Master’ exercise machine has just broken down. Just as I’ve worked my way up to 1,500 repetitions in a day – I kid you not, people, I’ve (almost) sweated blood to get here – the cursed thing has given up the ghost and John Lewis have sold out of replacements. Grrr!

2. Public transport in London – crowded, expensive, dirty, slow, and, depending on whom you end up travelling alongside, occasionally dangerous. And this is what people are supposed to leave their cars behind for?

3. My inability to maintain a regular posting schedule on this blog. It isn’t that I forget to write anything, nor that I can’t be bothered, it’s more that I don’t feel I ought to post unless I’ve got something worth saying. And then I remember that just because I think a thing is worth saying, it doesn’t follow that anyone else will necessarily agree with me. *Sigh* I suspect I may take myself – and this blog – a little too seriously. I am determined to be more trivial (and talkative) in future... ;-)

And The Ugly:

I am reliably informed that this is a sculpture of a ‘Lion Dog’. Hmm, I may still resent the fact that my parents wouldn’t let me have a puppy when I was little, but I don’t think even I would have wanted to go ‘walkies’ with one of these.

Any good, bad or ugly things happening in your life at the moment? If so, feel free to share...