http://empressmag.com/articles Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:18:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/2Y0GthImuus/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/the-danger-of-the-routine-in-relationships/#comments Sun, 05 Jul 2009 21:03:19 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/the-danger-of-the-routine-in-relationships/ D.A. Campbell

Remember the early days of your dating relationship? What a time you both had. It seemed like every moment you got together it was music, fun and excitement. Some of your family and friends even hated to see you coming because the two of you were so into each other it made people nauseous. You are probably right when you say they were just jealous. And guess what? Neither one of you could have cared less. The relationship was fresh, spontaneous and exhilarating.

And then it happened. You cannot quite put your finger on when exactly it took place but it happened. Whether it occurred sometime after you got married or six months into your dating relationship is inconsequential. All you know is the music, fun and excitement went on permanent vacation. What took their place? The routine.

One of the mains reasons many couples get blind sided by the routine is the seduction of familiarity. You naturally want to become well acquainted with the other person in the hopes that it leads to greater intimacy between the two of you. That is the point of relationships. Unfortunately, familiarity also inspires a certain amount of self-satisfaction. In other words consciously or unconsciously, many couples tell themselves the prize has been won so there is no need to continue the game.

While some people do not consider this a big deal, in essence it is a planted seed that can spell trouble somewhere down the road. It is only a hop, skip and a jump from familiarity to routine to dissatisfaction.

Now there is no question that your relationship is going to have certain amount of routine due, in some part to circumstances beyond your control; for instance your work schedules may only allow the two of you to get together on specific days and times. However there are things you can do to keep the relationship fresh:

1. The Thrill of the Impulsive

When your relationship was just starting out, spontaneity ruled. The two of you did not even think twice about hopping into a car and going to places you had never been or trying out a new restaurant with food you never heard of. There was something thrilling and wonderful about not knowing what you were getting into yet still having the courage to explore anyway.

Routine tells you to be rational and self conscious. What if people are looking or you run into someone you both know? The answer is “who cares?” Sure being spontaneous may not work out every time but do it anyway and go with the flow. Unplanned adventures big or little have a way of adding excitement and in many cases some serious laughs to the relationship which is very healthy and great way to reconnect.

2. It is Not Your Birthday

Or anniversary or any other major routine event but do not let that stop you from buying small gifts for each other. In fact you can just as easily create your own special days. It could be the anniversary of your third date or the time you both laughed through the worst movie you ever saw. Occasionally giving a small gift for no particular reason lets the other person know that they are always in your heart.

3. Date Again

Not just going out to dinner either because that also can become routine. Instead plan a time outside of your normal schedules and treat it like you did during the early days of the relationship. Get yourselves spruced up. Go at it with the mindset that you are making every effort to make a good impression. Having a special time together at least once a week can throw a beautiful monkey wrench into the routine machine. .

It is nothing out of the ordinary for a relationship to lose some of its zing over time. The problem comes when couples accept the routine as normal and do not do anything to restore the excitement and unpredictability they once had. You can always reverse the process by being spontaneous, give small gifts for no reason other than to let the other person know you love them and start dating again like it is the first time. This all requires constant effort but the payoff of an exciting relationship is well worth it.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/the-danger-of-the-routine-in-relationships/feed/ 2 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/the-danger-of-the-routine-in-relationships/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/QyE2Z4RYS8A/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/5-tips-to-keeping-your-friendship-alive/#comments Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:59:28 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/5-tips-to-keeping-your-friendship-alive/ M.Riso

Here are five suggestions for creating more space-

1- Be cautious with criticism:-Some people get a feeling of well-being and superiority from criticizing their friends. If you are afflicted with that
plague, divest yourself of the infection as soon as possible. Alice Miller’s rule of thumb is a good one: “If it is very painful for you to criticize your
friends, you are safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that is the time to hold your tongue. “

2- Encourage your friends to be unique:-Suggestion number two for loosing up your friendship has to do with the peculiarities of your friends, their eccentricities, their unique dreams. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness. Everyone has dreams, dreams that no one else has, and you can make yourself loved by encouraging those aspirations.

3- Allow for solitude:-A non possessive friendship will maintain a profound respect for each person’s need for privacy. There is such a thing as too much closeness. In all our relationships we move together and apart. It is one of the marks of a mature relationship that you can relax if your
friend is moving away from you for a while.

4- Encourage other relationships:-Jealousy according to Shakespeare is a “green-eyed monster.” And it has ruined many intimate friendships. If
you get nervous when your best friend spends time with other friends or when a couple you and your mate enjoy excludes you from some of their
social activities, you need to be wary of the corroding effect of jealousy. You never have exclusive right to anyone, and you hobble your friend if
you expect to be the only person who matters.

5- Be ready for shifts in your relationship:-Let us say that your little sister tagged along with you as were growing up and were clearly the dominate
one. If you are to have a healthy connection as adults, you must give her more room, allow her to be an adult, make her your equal. That is difficult,
for years of conditioning have created a lopsided alliance. But it must change, and it can if you are prepared for shifting relationship.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/5-tips-to-keeping-your-friendship-alive/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/5-tips-to-keeping-your-friendship-alive/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/NWk1Hw8k0Aw/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/life-is-a-garden%e2%80%a6-you-reap-what-you-sow/#comments Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:52:41 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/life-is-a-garden%e2%80%a6-you-reap-what-you-sow/ Gary Eby

Plant your talents and gifts into the lives of other people. Make sure they succeed. If they succeed, you will! Because you reap what you sow, it should be firmly established in your heart by now that if you’ll adjust your thinking from “what’s in it for me” to “what can I do to help”, you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Seedtime and Harvest! Work on having this as Personal Mission.

Seedtime and Harvest … How does this affect my life?

In layman’s terms, you reap what you sow! When you plant bananas you reap bananas. When you plant apples you reap apples. Most of us accept this as a self evident truism. Why does it seem so far fetched then, to accept the fact that when you sow discord you’ll reap discord in your life? People, who sow strife, reap strife. People, who sow joy, reap joy! What you plant into other people’s lives will someday, somehow be reaped in your own life. You are what you are today because of seeds you’ve sown in the past. You have what you have today, because of the decisions you have chosen previously. Today is the harvest of yesterday’s seeds! This is evident since our primordial beginnings… archaic as it may seem, can you dig it? You reap what you sow! Coach Life this philosophy.

Seedtime and Harvest… How does this affect me and my family?

It affects us in more ways than you can ever imagine. The humble beginnings of your family are reflected through the values instilled in your children. How you raise them up to adolescence will reflect your convictions and philosophical views as a parent. Are you planting time? What about belief? How about reliability? What do they hear at the movie when you are asked about their age? Do you somehow justify a “little white lie”? In my experience, the “little white lies” usually turn into “double feature Technicolor”! Would you compromise their future? Not a good Life Business to do white lies indeed.

If you want champions for children then you need to be planting the seeds of greatness. Plant love and Reap love! Plant big dreams and ambition you’ll reap a President or a missionary, or a giant of the industry! What are you planting into your wife … or your husband? Is it benevolence, absolution, gratefulness? Their hearts and minds are a cauldron where you brew either greatness or mediocrity. What are you reaping? The cause of effect of your decisions will either haunt you or eulogize you in the end. Provide your kids a great Life Training.

We need to notice every time we open our mouth to speak to our spouse. Will this edify or build them up, or will it heave them down? You see, there are no useless words. They either exalt or curse. They either uplift or devastate! We have two ears … and one tongue. Maybe we should listen twofold and speak once. Out of necessity it is time we start contemplating on our actions to the ones we love.

How does Seedtime and Harvest affect your Enterprise?

Our demeanor on how we conduct our business with our people directly shows who we are. Are we a shrewd opportunistic money hungry capitalist or a benevolent philanthropist? These same laws apply. When you bring someone into your business, do you just wind them up, send them out and hope they make it? You need to invest on their training and education to properly augment their skills to further even the odds for success. Otherwise they will be overburdened with the tasks due to their ineptitude. You have to make it a point to invest on the growth and development of your people as well as their well being. It’s been said that there are no bad students … just bad mentors. A grand teacher takes it very personally when one of his students falter. He contemplates on his shortcomings and sees to it that he will be able to rectify the dilemma and find an alternative way! This approach would revolutionize most people’s lives

Plant your talents and gifts into the lives of other people. Make sure they succeed. If they succeed, you will! Because you reap what you sow, it should be firmly established in your heart by now that if you’ll adjust your thinking from “what’s in it for me” to “what can I do to help”, you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Seedtime and Harvest! Work on having this as Personal Mission.

I once read a story about a young boy who had heard some juicy gossip about one of the leaders in his small town. And it was just that. “Juicy Gossip!” And, of course, he told a few people, who told a few people, and so on and so on. The object of the gossip had his reputation ruined. What’s Your Worth? Is your Life Business just a gossip?

The young boy’s father confronted him. He told him to go to everybody that he had spoken to and recant the story. And, he had to go to everybody they spoke to, etc., etc. The young boy told his father that there was no way that he could get to everybody. The father was emphatic. You can’t miss a one. The young boy could not grasp the enormity of the situation. He told people, who told people, who told people, and there were probably hundreds of people involved now. Surely, he would miss some of them. The father took his son along with an old feather pillow to the top of a local mountain. He had the boy split the pillow with his knife and throw the feathers into the wind. They blew every which way. Some of them caught breezes and blew for miles and miles. The father then told his son to go pick up all the feathers. Finally, the lad understood. It was impossible! He understood that no matter how many people he recanted his story to, there would be those he would miss … And they would tell people… who would tell people … who would tell people!

We live in a day when lives, families and businesses are destroyed by gossip, innuendo and partial truths. These tales seem to take on a life of their own and grow in their destructiveness. This is not the Life Course we want.

This law is immutable. If you are prejudice to others, you will be prejudged. If you become a tale bearer then tales will be told on your behalf. Let your reputation precede you through your acts of kindness and see the rewards of glory or infamy.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/life-is-a-garden%e2%80%a6-you-reap-what-you-sow/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/07/05/life-is-a-garden%e2%80%a6-you-reap-what-you-sow/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/5n8NFD65xdU/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/how-to-keep-your-man-communication/#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:12:35 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/how-to-keep-your-man-communication/ Darren G Burton

Talk To Us

Unfortunately, we men aren’t the mind readers many women seem to think and hope that we are. We are just not that gifted. More often than not we need to be told things, straight up and in plain English, for us to get the message and for it to sink in.

If something is on your mind, tell us. Don’t just walk around presuming our powerful intuition will naturally kick in and we’ll tune into the signals. We may pick up on the vibe, but we won’t know exactly what it is. The chances of a light clicking on in our minds and the inner voice saying, “Ah ha, I know what it is,” are very slim.

Once you have decided to talk to your man about something that is on your mind, you then have to decide on the best possible approach bring it up. This will depend on several factors.

• The nature of the subject
• Your mood and his
• The temperament of your partner

If the subject of your discussion or concern is of a sensitive nature, particularly for him, then you will have to choose your timing and words very carefully. Maybe even run it by a close friend first – preferably one who knows both you and your partner – what it is you want to say to your man, just in case it sounds like it might be coming out all wrong, or could be misinterpreted.

If you are upset about something, or angry, try to refrain from announcing the issue while in this frame of mind. Approaching your man when you are angry will more than likely just lead to an argument. If a man feels like he is being verbally attacked (or is about to be) he will naturally go into defensive mode to repel that attack, and anything on your mind that you want to convey will either come out all wrong, or the problem will just be exacerbated. Likewise, if he is in a negative or moody mindset, wait until his mood is lighter before approaching him.

Every man varies, as we all know, and that also applies to one’s temperament. Some men are very calm and relaxed, even in the face of adversity. Others are angered easily. Only you know the temperament of your man. Always keep that in mind when bringing up any sort of touchy subject and act accordingly.

Be A Good Listener

Generally speaking women like to talk more than men. It’s just a part of a woman’s make up. However, men need to talk and express themselves as well. Sometimes your man will need to vent about the happenings of the day. Or he may have something on his mind that he just needs to get off his chest or bounce off of you.

Be a good listener. Be attentive. Even if you don’t particularly want to hear about his day at work or whatever, take the time out to listen to him anyway. You don’t necessarily need to comment or offer an opinion. Just listen, be genuinely sympathetic or empathetic and let him know that you are always there for him if he needs to speak his mind. Male or female, we all need to know that our partner is there for us in every way, and that they will always have an attentive ear if we need to talk.

Feedback and Input

If you are with a man who never seeks your input nor respects your feedback, or a man who constantly ridicules you for your feedback and input, then he is not the kind of man you want to keep. Hopefully most readers are not with an egotistical, insensitive brute like that.

A regular guy genuinely enjoys and respects feedback from the woman in his life. If he’s smart he’ll realise that he actually needs it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, male or female, and there are always certain insights a woman can offer a situation that a man just won’t see.

Real men want you to express your views on things, to tell them honestly what you think. Whether your man agrees with what you have to say or not is irrelevant. The important thing is that you are showing an interest in something he is doing, is planning on doing, or is interested in. If you really don’t like something he’s made, for example, try to be tactful in saying so. Maybe offer some tips for improvement? If the feedback has some positive element or angle attached to it, it will almost always be well received. Any man worth being with will relish feedback and input from his partner.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/how-to-keep-your-man-communication/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/how-to-keep-your-man-communication/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/Us_s7hK3H24/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/why-its-important-to-keep-your-relationship-exciting/#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:12:28 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/why-its-important-to-keep-your-relationship-exciting/ Daniel Amis

Throughout my professional career I’ve come across many people that were lacking excitement in their relationship. Many of them have experienced some form of it in the beginning of their relationship- but they all seem to ask me the same question…”where did all the fun go…and how can I get it back?”

I know that when you’re starting a new relationship it may be fun, exciting, and there are few arguments (if any). Someone even compared it to buying a new car and having that new car smell. But what happens after all the fun stops?

Here’s what you can do to get the fun back:

1. Show your creative side. When it comes to making a successful, long-lasting relationship, sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Coming up with fresh ideas for love and romance (or even where the next place you’ll go to spend time together) could be the key to keeping your relationship thrilling.

2. Get Spontaneous. Do things “just because”. Surprise your partner by planning a nice romantic getaway. Summer is here, so traveling around this time may be very enjoyable for the both of you.

3. Talk to your partner. Find out from your partner why your relationship is starting to get boring. Are there things going on in his/her life (bills, work, etc) that’s stressing him/her out (this may be the reason for the lack of excitement)? Or is he/she just plainly losing interest in the relationship? Communicate with your partner to find out what’s going on and then take it from there.

Whatever you need to do to make your relationship more exciting, then do it. You have to be the pro-active one if you want to get the love life that you desire.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/why-its-important-to-keep-your-relationship-exciting/feed/ 1 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/why-its-important-to-keep-your-relationship-exciting/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/w3cpgP002Ts/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/budgeting-%e2%80%93-make-your-dreams-come-true/#comments Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:12:22 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/budgeting-%e2%80%93-make-your-dreams-come-true/ Amanda Hash

If you know how to take advantage of it, budgeting can become an incredible financial tool and a great part of your life… actually, a whole way of living. It is not all about planning and being financially stable. No, it is also about saving. About attaining your goals, fulfilling your expectations, reaching your dreams. For many people, going on a trip abroad, buying a car or getting their fantasy house are ones of the most important things they will do in their lives. Everybody has a different dream. What is yours?

All You Need Is Love? Not Quite

Unfortunately, money is everything it takes to make most dreams come true. Only a small fraction of the population is born wealthy, and not so many become wealthy through life either. So most of us have to struggle to get what we want. Is budgeting the answer to all your financial problems? Probably not. But if you begin managing your finances wisely at an early age, you will most likely do it for the rest of your life. Wise management generally leads to healthy financial situations. Following are a number of dreamlike situations budgeting can put at your reach.

1) A Fantasy Trip

Have you ever wished to travel around the world? Meet distant, paradise-like places? Well, now you have your chance. Whether it is a short trip to a nearby State or a one-month-getaway to Egypt, financial planning can help you to fulfill this dream. Here is an example, let’s say you earn $2500 monthly, and you decide to cut back on your expenses and save at least 20% of your salary on a separate account. In a year, you will have saved $6000. Interesting. And in five years? Exactly $30,000. Simply perfect.

2) Drive Away On Your Brand New Car

Not everyone can afford a new car. Auto loans are always of help, and leasing is also a possibility. But what if you are not keen on monthly payments, is there some other way? Yes, of course there is. There are some luxuries we surrender to in everyday life. Smoking is a great example. For instance, imagine you are a pack-a-day smoker, and you decide to give up the habit and put the money on a can instead of spending it. It would take you less than three years to save for a $3000 down payment on a car. Surprised? Just do the math.

3) College: A Gift For Your Children

It is well known that not everybody can afford private education nowadays. The ones that venture to take a student loan have to work hard later on to pay it back. Scholarships are sometimes hard to obtain and government loans are even harder. The best thing you can do for your kids is to put up a college fund when they are born. This will mean that with a little monthly effort, they will have most, if not all, of their careers covered once they are older. Let your family help, encourage their grandparents to do the same. The reward is priceless.

As people say sometimes, ‘no pain, no gain’. But can it be really qualified as “pain”? The way I see it, you get what you deserve. A little effort can get you many wonderful things.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/budgeting-%e2%80%93-make-your-dreams-come-true/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/29/budgeting-%e2%80%93-make-your-dreams-come-true/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/vTgKzlPkcHg/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/its-not-hard-to-say-sorry/#comments Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:23:55 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/its-not-hard-to-say-sorry/ Emily Johnson

Very few people actually have the courage to say sorry. Actually, its not about the sense of etiquette and manners but one really needs to be courageous to say sorry. And when it comes to the love relationships, then it almost becomes an ordeal to say sorry to your sweetheart. Perhaps it was not your fault but in spite of that often your partner is awaiting to hear this sacred word from you.

If it is your fault, then make up your mind that you have to say sorry forgetting all your self respect. In fact once you have said sorry, your self respect will be innate in front of your lover. Most of the times we do the stupidest acts and expect others to come and apologize. Our silly ego never let us stoop our heads, whatever the fault is. This is where we are lagging behind from them who does not hesitate to say sorry.

While being in love many a stupid things happen. We forget our anniversaries, birth dates of our partners, forget their favorite food and perfume, their favorite color, we forget to reach at time on date, we often say loads of gibberish to them and expect a runner applause. Sometimes our stupidity reaches to its height and we behave utterly nonsense in case of eulogizing as well as rectifying their deeds. But we never feel to say sorry to others because of these. We do not find any mistakes done but what actually is been done is the accidental break-ups. Loving somebody is not a hard job but continuing this relationship is a challenge. Small mistakes like these often crate an unexpected disaster and our heart breaks in no time.

While rehearsing to say sorry, one should not forget whether he or she really wants to say sorry or doing all these only in order to impress their partners. If you really feel sorry then only try these following tips:

1. Call your partner and say that you are really sorry. Do this as soon as possible. When the problem is just been created, the wound is very fresh so he or she will not take much time to recover from it if you have said sorry very early.

2. If your partner is immensely angry and not picking your phone call, then send her flowers and chocolates, other gifts which might remind him or her about the nicest things you have done together. Add a note writing you are sorry.

3. If you have time and really want to do something that he or she will never forget, pick up a camera and take some snaps showing how sorry you feel without her. You can even create a video. This will surely confirm him or her, how much you miss him or her.

4. Cook his or her favorite dishes if you can. If not then take him or her to a good place and arrange a great treat. Give a sorry greeting card.

5. Finally hold his/her hand and say sorry. Hug her. If he/she hugs you back, you are out of danger and safe. Because he/she has finally forgotten you.

Emmie Johnson is a college student who loves to stay in touch with her friends and make newer ones wherever she goes. She discovered she could stay in touch better with e-cards. She is an adamant social networker and blogs on friendship and love. You can visit her blogs at friendship blog, love greeting cards, I Am Sorry Cards]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/its-not-hard-to-say-sorry/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/its-not-hard-to-say-sorry/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/uLUdLZEHct0/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/the-break/#comments Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:23:50 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/the-break/ Amanda J.

If you have ever experienced “The Break” mid-relationship, you have likely experienced some or all of the baggage that goes along with it. “The Break” seems to be a fairly modern innovation (as my mother has said in exasperation, “Either you are together or you aren’t!”) and usually occurs for one of four reasons:

#1. One of the partners wants to split up permanently but is using the “break” as an easy way out;

#2. A couple has been together for a long time, and one or both partners want(s) to experience other things for awhile. Often, this reason stems from a need to find “the one”;

#3. One or both partner(s) is/are no longer interested in commitment and want(s) to have fun;

#4. A couple is prone to arguing, splitting up, and getting back together, and their relationship is thus riddled with multiple “break” holes. [As reason #1 isn’t really a break, (because the initiating partner has no inte ntion of reuniting with his/her ex) it shall not be taken into account in this discussion.]

In many ways, “The Break” is more difficult than “The Break-Up” because a sense of temporality exists. A couple on a break intends to get back together at some point, and the knowledge of this prevents a true disconnection from occurring. In many cases, partners on a break will end up spending a lot of time together because they a) are unable to adapt to their new single status, and/or b) are afraid of losing each other. Sometimes, a couple may continue to be physically intimate with one another while on their break. In doing this, a break-taking couple is usually setting itself up for trouble.

When partners on a break continue to act like a couple, a sense of possession remains. As a result, the “other options” the partners are exploring are likely to trigger negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, betrayal, and insecurity. The ambiguity of “The Break” often leads to misinterpretation, worry, and anxiety. Unfortunately, these emotions may present themselves in destructive ways – through arguing, crying, extreme clinginess or passive aggression.

But this dysfunctionality may be inevitable. At its most basic, “The Break” is a period of time in which two partners are given the freedom to explore other options. But “The Break” requires a strange form of commitment on each partner’s part – not to let go of each other entirely. Thus, both partners are stuck in a kind of limbo. Whatever other relationships occur during the break must be temporary. Often, partners on a break find themselves having purely physical interactions with others because they are mentally wired for the short-term. In this way, “The Break” does not allow for true exploration outside of a relationship.

In conclusion: If you are craving meaningful experiences outside of your relationships, don’t attempt “The Break”. It is destined to fail. Tell your significant other that you want to experience other things, but in order to do that you have to let go entirely. In doing this, you are not eliminating your chances of getting back together with that person. If you are meant to be, you will. But by separating completely, you are giving yourself (and your partner) complete freedom to explore other people and situations in depth. On the other hand, if you are simply looking for a little short-term fun away from your partner, “The Break” may be the right thing for you.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/the-break/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/the-break/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/8JG1dKx59Qk/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/master-three-ways-to-live-life-to-its-fullest/#comments Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:23:42 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/master-three-ways-to-live-life-to-its-fullest/ PJ Meyer

All of us tend to take life a little too seriously. Do you see the proverbial glass as half empty or half full? Living life to its fullest means always seeing that glass as half full. Whether you think it is good, bad, or ugly, you are experiencing life. You can choose the way you react to the things you experience in life. There are three ways to live life to its fullest: laugh at life, wait to worry, and practice forgiveness.

#1 — Laugh at life.

Things happen that you cannot manage, manipulate, predict, or prevent. That’s just life. However, of the things you can control, one of them has the ability to positively impact every area of your life, including the hard times. It’s your ability to laugh! Laughing is not a personality trait. Instead, it is something we do purposefully, looking for things to laugh at.

The French have a great adage: “The most completely lost of all days is that on which one has not laughed.” I like that and try to make each day count. One of my most constant sources of laughter is laughing at myself. Whoever said that if you learn to laugh at yourself, you’ll always have something to laugh about, was absolutely correct.

If I take myself too seriously, then I begin to think more and more about the negative situations around me. From that vantage point, discouragement, lack of faith, hopelessness, and bitterness can seep into my life. Instead, laughter enables me to maintain a healthy perspective. Why not laugh? There’s always a reason to laugh. There’s probably also a reason not to laugh, but you have to choose which one you want to do. Here are five reasons why cultivating the habit of daily laughing is beneficial. Laughter is…

1. Better than tears.
2. Good for you.
3. Powerful.
4. Fun to be around.
5. A good teacher.

#2 — Wait to worry.

More damage is done by worrying than by what is being worried about. This is because over 90% of all worries never come to pass. Worrying is neither normal nor necessary. Over the years I have made it a deliberate point not to worry. If something happens at work or home that would constitute a worry, I have learned to address the potential worry and say, “I’m going to wait to worry.” Then when I objectively and realistically address the issue, the obvious need for worry goes away.

How can you win over worry? Entire books have been written on this subject, but I have found that regardless of the great information on this or any topic, people will continue to do what they choose to do. The only way for them to bring about change is to willfully change their way of thinking. Living with a positive attitude and without worry is a great way to live. I don’t expect something bad to happen, but if it does, I deal with it and get on with life. Make the decision for yourself to live worry-free. It is not only possible, but it is very enjoyable.

#3 — Practice forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an incredible thing, especially when we’re the one being forgiven for wrongs we have committed. It not only feels great to be forgiven, but it feels just as great to forgive others who have wronged us. To me, forgiving others is like being given a reprieve from an impossible task. It takes time and practice to develop an “I will forgive you regardless of what you do to me” mentality, but the rewards are immeasurable.

Despite the heavy price that forgiveness carries with it, the price of un-forgiveness is far greater. People who never forgive have effectively been held captive, stuck in a jail they made for themselves. Their emotions, creativity, joy, peace, hope, dreams, etc. have been minimized by their unwillingness to forgive. Choosing to forgive or not forgive will always be our choice, but for me, it’s always been one of those “no-brainer” choices. Forgiveness is first a choice and then an action. Forgiveness is freedom. Forgiveness requires guts, determination, courage, and a whole lot of love.

Wouldn’t you rather be remembered for someone who lived life to its fullest than someone who was negative, bitter, or unforgiving? There’s an old saying that if you want to know what people will say about you when you are gone, write your own epitaph now and then live that way. Here are a few of my favorites. He … loved God first, loved his family and extended family, was an encourager, a giver; he always had a positive attitude, and he kept his word.

Remember, we don’t always get a second chance. I want to make the most of everyday, because tomorrow there is no guarantee. Carpe diem — seize the day — to start living life to its fullest! Learn to laugh at life, wait to worry, and practice forgiveness.





Paul J. Meyer may be a New York Times best-selling author, but it is his positive attitude and dedication to living life to its fullest that help make him an inspiration to others. To start your own journey to a better life, order Paul’s very practical CD, “Living Life to Its Fullest!” today, available at http://www.pauljmeyer.com or Amazon.com.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/master-three-ways-to-live-life-to-its-fullest/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/22/master-three-ways-to-live-life-to-its-fullest/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/empressmag-articles/~3/LjkKzH6fOb0/ http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/08/who-is-the-other-woman/#comments Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:15:24 +0000 Empress http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/08/who-is-the-other-woman/ Melody Roberts

Understanding Women Involved With A Committed Partner…

Slut! Tramp! Homewrecker! These are all words that we hear whenever the subject of the other woman comes up. You know who we mean. That’s the woman who ends up in a relationship with a man who is committed elsewhere. Yet those terms do not do justice to the complexity of the situation. Things are never black and white, especially not in this situation. While people think the other woman has no morals and no values, they have no idea what goes on in her head. And they have absolutely no idea why she is involved with a committed partner.

The thing is, the other woman is a woman – pure and simple. The only difference between you and her is that she is in a relationship with a committed partner. Trouble is, he’s not committed to her. But there are two sides to every story and sometimes it’s easy to vilify the person who seems to be in the wrong.

Is Love A Crime?

But is she really? What’s her crime? Only falling in love – something that people do every day all around the world. And let’s not forget that there are two people in every relationship, so why blame the woman alone? After all, in many cases she’s not the one who’s stepping out on an existing relationship. Generally, she is in love with her man and that’s why she’s in a relationship with him.

Think for a minute about the man in all this. He is the one who is in a committed relationship which he is wrecking. He is the one who is lying and deceiving. If anyone should be called a homewrecker, it’s him.

When women start relationships with a committed partner, they very rarely know that he is otherwise engaged. He will woo them and pursue them and make them feel like the only woman for him. By the time they discover the truth they can be in too deep.

The thing is that the man says all the right things. Even if he acknowledges that he has another commitment he is always on the verge of leaving, separated, going through a divorce, desperately unhappy, lonely or in any one of hundreds of situations which make the other woman feel there’s hope.

Victims Of Thrillseekers

While many men lie about their situation and make their wives out to be demons to lure the other woman into a relationship, much of the time they are in happy, healthy relationships. They’re just bored – and they want the fun of having their cake and eating it too. It’s not so much about the sex as about the thrill.

Married men will say just about anything to keep that thrill going, even promising to leave their wives. If they don’t promise this, it’s because they have kids who are keeping them at home. All of these are plausible excuses which the besotted other woman is happy to hear. But unfortunately, these excuses are just a tissue of lies. Only 10% of married men actually leave their wives and family for the other woman.

Sometimes the other woman is also a thrill seeker, but in the long run many other women realize that the relationship has no future and manage to end it. This often happens at great cost to their reputations and careers. And the committed man? He can go back home to his wife.

Melody Roberts owns and maintains an internet support forum for women who find themselves involved in a relationship with a committed partner.]]> http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/08/who-is-the-other-woman/feed/ 0 http://empressmag.com/articles/2009/06/08/who-is-the-other-woman/