EPBOT

MegaCon!

2012-02-17T01:40:00.001-05:00

This won't apply to the vast majority of you out there, but for you few fellow Orlandians or visitors attending MegaCon this weekend and wanting to say hello, here's how to find me:

Twitter.

Just tweet at me, and I'll tell you where I am at that time. And I *love* meeting you guys, so please don't be shy. I'm shy enough for all of us, mmkay? Oh, and I'll have a pocketful of Epbot pins, too, so be sure to ask me for one.

John and I will be at the con all three days (starting today) in the afternoon, and we plan to be at the Warehouse 13 panel on Saturday. We will not be in costume. (Sorry.) I'll also be in Artist Alley a lot, as usual. :)

Hope to see some of you there!

And for the rest of you: stand by for COSTUME PICTURES!! Woot woot!!

Another Candle Stick

2012-02-16T21:26:00.000-05:00

I noticed my candle labels post has been surprisingly popular over on Pinterest, so I thought I'd show you guys another one I did ages ago and then promptly forgot to post:

(Yes, it smells amaaazing. I don't even have to light it - I just keep the lid off on my bedside table.)

The label is from The Graphics Fairy, and started out blue. With a little Photoshop magic, though, it became a pretty emerald green:

This is a great trick anytime you want to color-coordinate your labels. Just go to Image - Adjustments - Replace Color, and play with the sliders.

And here's my tweaked graphic, in case you'd like to use it yourself:

(click for the full-size, then right-click to download)

As with the others, just print it on regular paper and use a little glue stick to adhere it to the glass. The glue stick works like a charm: all of my labels from last year have held fast, even after burning each for multiple hours at a time!

Looking for more candle labels? Check out this post for eight more of my favorites.

Welcome to the (Ray) Gun Show

2012-02-13T23:55:00.002-05:00

The ray gun John helped me built for my Dragon*Con costume has been sitting forlornly on a back shelf, waiting for a proper display stand so visitors might behold its majesty and goggle at its glory and just generally laud our crafty prowess.

Well, last week, it finally got one:

Behold! Goggle! Laud!

The gun handle is actually inserted into the base about an inch, which helps support it and keep it from tipping over sideways.

Here's how we made it:

First, we clamped two pieces of 3/4 inch poplar together to form one thick board. After the glue dried overnight, John used a router to give it a pretty edge.

We needed the base to be thick so that the gun handle could fit partially inside it, but you might not need this for your own display. Plus, you can buy ready-made wooden plaques from most craft stores for just a few dollars.

We measured the exact size of the gun handle (you'll see how in a sec) and traced the paper template onto the wood:

To get this template, we simply jammed the gun handle into a block of floral foam, which you can see here:

Then we rolled on some black paint around the hole, stuck a piece of paper to the foam to transfer the paint, and cut out that shape to form our template. (You can see the piece of paper up there in my second photo.)

I used my trusty Dremel to carefully carve out the hole to match the angle and depth of the gun handle. My floral foam came in handy here, as I reference it frequently to get the interior shape right. I also had the gun nearby so I could keep checking the fit.

Next, the barrel support is made from copper plumbing pipe:

John bent the top edge like this to form a curve, which we then filled with epoxy putty:

This gave us enough surface area to epoxy on the rounded support piece that the barrel would rest in.

That support piece was made from the same copper pipe, which John cut and hammered into a C shape:

To pad it I cut a small piece off an old leather belt:

The leather was thick and stiff enough that no glue was needed: I just jammed it into the curve of the metal.

The copper tarnishes fast, so we polished it and hit it with a quick coat of lacquer to keep the shine.

Next John drilled the hole for the pipe:

And we gave it a quick test run:

It works!

Believe it or not, the hardest part was still to come, though: figuring out the wood stain.

Take it from two former professional painters: staining is hard. Different woods grab stains differently, the color is never quite what you expect, wood putty stains too dark, and if you don't know exactly what you're doing, odds are it's going to look pretty awful.

John spent over a week playing with samples in the garage, some with pre-stain, some without, mixing colors, and then experimenting with two or three different kinds of clear coat to get the right sheen.

In the end all that trial and effort paid off, though, because this is the best stain piece he's ever done:

John used a wipe-on polyurethane for the top coat, and it gave the wood a beautiful subtle glow. Sooo much nicer than all the brush-on and spray products we've used in the past!

Oh, and can't forget the finishing touch:

This solid brass plaque only cost $8 from our local trophy shop. Isn't it gorgeous? They have several different edges and corner details to choose from, plus at least 20 different fonts you can mix and match, and 3 or 4 different brass finishes. I usually buy everything online when I can, but this was totally worth the drive. (Unfortunately the shop doesn't have a website.)

And if that name looks familiar: yes, it IS an homage to Marvin the Martian's ray gun. It was John's idea. And he might have begged. A lot.

Marvin's gun was named the Illudium PU-36 (Or Q-36, depending on who you ask) Explosive Space Modulator. I changed the PU to SP for "steam powered" and tacked on the Aether because I thought it sounded cool.

The copper pipe and brass plaque pick up the copper and brass in the gun, and the wood stain is different enough from the handle to provide a nice contrast without clashing. All in all, a success!

I hope seeing our process helps any of you out there who have your own prop gun to display. As always, be sure to send me pics if you give it a go!

This Friday ROCKS

2012-02-10T17:35:00.004-05:00

Today just got a million times better:

Itty bitty banana munches! I die.

(Thanks to Andrea for posting this on the Epbot FB page! Shot by Birdchick)

More reasons today is awesome:

1) It's FRIDAY. Aw yeeeah. High five!!

2) My new steamboat Willie toy arrived in the mail:

Already he has mastered the art of riding my baby AT-AT. :)

3) The nice people at Instructables asked me to join their site and submit my penny desk for their furniture challenge contest, so yesterday I finally did, and today they featured it! MY FIRST EVER INSTRUCTABLE! Woot!

'Course, now I'm anxiously watching the comments for someone to tell me I screwed it all up and I'm an idiot. Heh.

4) As I mentioned on FB, I decided to start an Epbot Pinterest board since I'm spending [mumblemumble] hours there a day anyway. It's been fun going back through all the projects and tutorials on this blog - so much stuff I'd forgotten!

Anyway, for some reason my flip-flop hangers are INSANELY popular over there. As in, everything I've put up has maybe 3 or 4 "repins." The hangers? Seven hundred and sixteen. I don't understand it. But I'm not complaining.

Anyway, I think I'll go eat some chocolate now. [eyebrow waggle]

Happy Friday, everyone!

Radio Romance, Part 2

2012-02-09T13:01:00.000-05:00

You've probably forgotten all about that old radio cabinet I last mentioned ages and ages ago, but believe it or not, we've still been working on it! I'd hoped to do a grand unveiling with it completely finished, but 90% is close enough, right?

So, just to jog your memory, this is what we started with:

(Ever try to take a picture without a cat in it when you have cats? IT'S VERY HARD.)

And here's a shot of it (mostly) finished in our dining room at Christmas:

We scored the empty radio cabinet for $45 at an antique mall. You can see how we painstakingly repaired the front lattice work here.

Last year we were fortunate enough to have my parents in town for a few days, and we immediately put my dad the former electrical engineer to work, wiring up some speakers to make the old cabinet functional again:

My dining room table during The Project.

We used a set of small powered speakers that we already had for our iPod. Because they were battery powered, Dad had to re-wire them to plug into the wall, among other fun things. (More on that in a minute.) We purposely chose low quality speakers because A) they were cheap, and B) we wanted the sound to be kind of low quality, the better the match the vintage look of the cabinet.

John mounted the speakers to a new piece of plywood, and then attached that to the back of the front cabinet panel:

Kindly refrain from commenting on my husband's balls of steel, if you please.

Here's the front of the panel:

Next John painted the exposed wood a plain brown, so it wouldn't show through the mesh:

We replaced the old speaker fabric with brass mesh. It was an expensive upgrade (nearly $20 for a single square foot), but I like the look:

While we were buying the supplies needed to rewire the speakers we also picked up some vintage radio knobs and a pull-on power switch. (The knobs are purely decorative, but the switch actually does turn everything on.) All of those goodies and more come by the bucket load over at Skycraft, a local parts warehouse that's any tinkerer's nirvana. We also picked up some LEDs for a little surprise feature I'll show you at the end of this post.

To hook our iPod up to the speakers, we simply threaded the wire through a pre-existing hole in the right side of the cabinet. (I think it was originally for a microphone or a crank or something.)

But I couldn't just leave our iPod sitting out on top of the cabinet, now, could I?

OF COURSE NOT.

So I spent six months scouring Ebay for an affordable vintage cigarette case to convert into a small iPod holder.

I never found one. (Grrr...)

Ironically, I eventually stumbled across the perfect solution back at the same antique mart in Virginia where we bought the original cabinet. It looked like this:

This is an antique copper watch case. It's solid metal, and hinges open like so:

Plus it was only $10. SOLD!

I harvested the solid brass name plates to decorate the outside, along with a little extra bling from my jewelry stash:

I carefully sanded off the rough edges and bent each piece to match the curve of the case, and then used tiny dabs of epoxy to secure them:

The velvet interior pops out easily, which allowed John to screw the back of the case to the side of the radio cabinet, directly over the small hole that we fed the iPod wire through:

Ready for the best part?

TA-DAA!!

I used the existing velvet, and just added a band of elastic to hold the iPod in place. Easy peasy! (And I can't believe it took me six months to find.)

I made a special play list just for this radio, and we only play old fashioned big-band music from the 30's and 40's on it. Not usually our kind of music, but it just sounds so RIGHT coming out of those speakers.

Now for that fun feature I mentioned:

Yep, I made John and Dad wire a color-changing LED into my antique radio cabinet. WHAT.

The light shines through the old celluloid that used to show the radio dial. Pulling the power switch turns on both the speakers and the light. It's pretty funky, and I like it.

Here's a crappy cell phone video of the whole shebang in action, taken before we installed the iPod case:

Believe it or not, though, we're still not done.

Because the new speakers only took up a few inches of space inside the cabinet, that left us with a ton of extra room to do something crazy, like, oh, I dunno - build a book shelf inside it?

John built the shelf unit separately, so it just slides into the back of the cabinet. He still has to stain it, so it's just bare wood for now. To be honest, we lost our sense of urgency for finishing the back side when we realized we had no place to put the cabinet where both sides would be accessible. WHOOPS.

So, our radio is sitting against a wall in the dining room, where it will probably stay. Still, once the shelves are stained we'll install them for extra storage, if nothing else, and hope to find a better place sometime later where we can show off both sides!

This (almost) concludes our longest-running project to-date. (Phew!) When we finish the interior shelving I'll try to remember to throw a few actual "finished" shots up for you. And to those of you who've been e-mailing asking me to hurry up and post this; thanks for being patient, and I hope it was worth the wait!

Geek Chic Bling

2012-02-07T00:06:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we geeks need more from our jewelry than a sparkly rock on a chain.

Sometimes we need something like THIS:

Kinetic Winged Gear Pendent, $49.95 (thx to Abbi for the link!)

Those tiny gears are laser cut from wood, and they move! I can't decide which I want to do more: wear it or play with it.

Check out the rest of Green Tree Jewelry's "Gear Garb" for more cool kinetic designs - there are also some sweet pulley necklaces over there I've got my eye on.

Here's one for you MST3K fans out there:

$60 at PicaPicaPress, found via

You can insert your own picture in the frame for an instant snarky peanut gallery. I think I'd print out tiny screen shots of some of my favorite sci-fi moments. Oh! Or maybe a shot of Wesley Crusher in one of his famous sweaters. Aww yeeeah.

Dang it, now I think I have to buy one of these.

At first glance, this is just a cool Sputnik-y starburst necklace:

Blue Bursts Resistor Necklace, $22 at digiBling (Thx to Robyn for the link!)

(Is "Sputnik-y" a word?)

At second glance, omigosh those are electrical resistors! How cool!

After a while a lot of sparkly jewelry can start to look the same, but Matina just directed me to an artist with a style that is totally unique:

Event Horizon v8, $39

Youniquely Chic's industrial pendants are the perfect blend of hardware store grunge and Swarovski sparkliness. Tara uses retaining rings and wire wrapping to make the most eye-popping designs:

Ultraviolet Light v3, $39

I'm usually all about symmetry, but these asymmetrical designs are just gorgeous. There's also a small steampunk selection:

Theia v4, $55

Plus, every one of her industrial pendants are only $39, which seems like a steal considering they look like they belong in a pricey jewelry gallery. (Can you tell I'm rationalizing buying one for myself? Or two? Or fourteen?)

Now, you guys KNOW how I feel about adorable robots, so just try to imagine the squealing heard 'round the Jen & John household when Kelsey sent me a link to these:

PicoBaby "The Captain", $20 at Picobaby

SQUEE CITY. Seriously.

It took me a minute, but I just realized who that little guy reminds me of:

Tik Tok from Return to Oz!

And this next one has Sam Eagle written all over it:

"Picobaby the Junior Robot", $24

Right?

And one more:

"Picobaby the Pharoah," $38

Each of the bot's bodies are made from an old capacitor, but I couldn't tell you what the rest of the odds and ends are. I just know I want them. ALL OF THEM.

Check out the Picobaby etsy store for lots more designs.

Oh, and that last one is a larger size, which is why it's more expensive. Personally I like the smaller bots better for necklaces, though. (Must....not...buy entire...store...)

Ok, that's enough damage to my bank account for one post. Have you guys seen any awesome geek bling this week? Post your links in the comments!

The Hunt Is On!

2012-02-05T15:54:00.002-05:00

Last weekend John and I started working on our WDW Magic Kingdom scavenger hunt again. Now that the weather's nice and we don't have any book tours or deadlines looming I'm hoping to make some serious progress. (WOOT!!)

In addition to the clues and questions and general trivia tidbits for each area of the park, I'm also working on some park-wide riddles. I'm having a blast writing them, but it's hard to know what's too easy and what's too difficult. So for a test run, here's one of the harder ones:

I’m rude and high and mighty,
And can only be found
Where children screech in glee
And sparkles line the ground.

Who (or What) am I?

The riddles do require a familiarity with the Kingdom (and again, this is for Orlando, not CA), but you don't have to be in the park to know the answer.

Please don't spoil the fun by posting the answer in the comments, but do let me know if you think you know what it is - and whether it's too easy or too hard. Thanks, guys!

Fashion Bloggers For Geeks?

2012-02-02T00:42:00.000-05:00

I have somewhat quirky taste in clothing.

Like, my-favorite-shoes-are-slouchy-yellow-superhero-boots kind of taste. And I don't wear heels because a) my feet are so small anything over a 2 inch heel is excruciating, and b) I think most heels are kinda ugly anyway.

I'd like to say my style sense is "bad-ass geek girly-girl with a dash of whimsy," but to be honest, I have no idea what that looks like.

As a result, I'm always looking for a fashion blogger to assure me I'm not a complete freakazoid - or at least to wear something stranger than me and still look good in it. I can't claim to have found her yet, but here are the ones I check in with regularly:

Keiko Lynn:

She's wearing a beret and yellow tights. Love.

Layers and boots and geeky glasses. Mmm.

Chandra of Modern Day Charm:

With most fashion bloggers I find myself liking maybe one outfit in ten, but Chandra is close to being my style soul mate. If I thought I had a prayer of fitting into her clothes I would track her down and steal most of her wardrobe. (Wait. Was that creepy? No?)

It's such a shame she stopped updating her blog about 6 months ago. Come back, Chandra!

Elsita of The Hidden Seed:

Vintage petticoat skirt!

(If you hadn't picked it up by now, I really, really love boots.)

Funky cool.

Frocks & FrouFrou

Lilli prefers lots of patterned dresses that aren't really my thing, but sometimes she'll feature more layered gems like this:

And sweet casual outfits like this:

It's also refreshing to see a fashion blogger with a body less stick-thin and more, you know, like mine. I've looked for more blogs like Lilli's, but other than a few of the most famous plus-sized blogs, I've come up empty. Anyone have any recommendations?

Zoetica Ebb

Another blogger I love who doesn't post many fashion updates anymore. In fact, this is going back a loooong way, but Zo used to do a column for The Suicide Girls called What's Zo Wearing?, and a few years ago I inhaled every bit of those archives, they're all so amazing.

She still has that layered gothic badass look going today, but it's a bit more accessible and modern:

Doe Deere:

When I first started following Doe's blog a few years ago she looked like this:

Which is still one of my favorite looks from her.

Now she looks like this:

And posts photoshoots like this:

Needless to say, her photo shoots are the stuff that dreams are made of: pure eye candy. Since she started her new makeup line Doe doesn't post them as often, but it's a huge treat when she does.

And on a personal note, Doe is one of the few bloggers I follow who've I've actually met in person, and we "clicked" almost immediately. So much so that John and I spent two days with her and her husband Mark while they were in Orlando last year, and she and I couldn't stop talking the entire time. Heh. I find fashionable people intimidating in the extreme, and I don't think Doe reads either of my blogs, so I figured we'd have nothing in common. C'mon, a geek who can't wear heels and a fashion model? - but within a few hours I felt like I'd found a long-lost sister. Doe is quiet and introverted, like me, and we share so many of the same fears and anxieties that come from working online.

We haven't kept up since then, but I mention this because Doe gets a lot of flak online - I believe undeservedly so. She's humble and approachable and cares passionately about her work and the people it affects. If you ever hear differently, take it from me: the person saying so has never met her in person.

[stepping off soap box]

Ok, so tell me, fellow geeks: what other fashion bloggers should I be following? Help a girl out, and tell me in the comments!

Household Geekery

2012-01-31T17:52:00.000-05:00

I've got a huge backlog of material dating all the way back to the book tour that I've been meaning to show you guys, so prepare for an onslaught of geek goods! (And here's hoping you haven't seen it all already. Heh.)

First, the world's most beautiful geek chic coffee table:

Submitted by Ashley N. via Nerd Approved; made by The News is Broken

It's made using old computer boards, but the indirect LED lighting is what really makes it shine. Pun intended.

You've probably seen this one before, but it remains one of my favorite Mario make-overs to date:

Submitted by Marcy W. via Neatorama. (more pics at the link)

Love that pipe pedestal - check out the clever paint shading!

And for the bedroom, insert your own "pushing all the right buttons" joke here:

Submitted by Dana, made by Instructables user Cathryn

Ok, serious props for the attention to detail. Look at the tiny "start" and "select" buttons on the bed skirt!

And in case your cats want in on the Mario action, check out what Epbot reader Jenny H. made:

It's hard to tell in the photo, but the dark tube is actually green carpet, and the base has the red brick pattern from the game. The yellow box hold toys. Fun!

My Dragon*Con buddy Diane M. made a custom cat tree that's even more up my design alley, though:

HECK YEAH.

The gingerbread trim piece is painted a hammered copper, and the leather edging was nailed in place with brass upholstery tacks. The steamy trunk at the base holds all the kitty toys. Love it.

It seems you can't throw a sonic screwdriver these days without hitting another awesome TARDIS build, but if you haven't seen it yet you simply *must* watch this adorable German teacher building her own collapsible version:

[singing] "You-u-uuu! I wanna be like you-u-uuu! I wanna rock like you, talk like you..."

Ahem.

Yeah. She's totally my new role model.

And for a TARDIS with a practical side, here's a fab bookshelf version:

Found by Amy L., made by Instructables user CaitlinsDad (Tutorial & more pics at the link)

And finally, this isn't a DIY project; it's just the world's coolest new clock design:

The Spiral Clock, found via SuperPunch

The clock *ROTATES*, and you tell the time by the location of the rolling ball. When the ball reaches the center, it drops through the hole and emerges at the top/bottom 12 again.

GENIUS.

And with a price tag of 350-400 pounds, it's also *&%$! expensive. That's, what, nearly $800 USD? Ok, maybe we should figure out a DIY on this thing after all. (Hit the link for lots more colors and patterns to choose from.)

Update: John just looked over my shoulder and said, "I could totally make that." I might have to hold him to that. So stay tuned. Ha!

Sunday Afternoon Movies

2012-01-29T13:41:00.000-05:00

A few random audio-visual delights for your weekend:

First, The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore is an utterly charming and beautifully animated short film. It's also a must-see for librarians.

Next, the best (and perhaps only) Portal/Nightmare Before Christmas mashup you will ever see:

I'm going to be humming this ALL DAY.

And finally, I know I'm really late to the party on this one, but have you seen the trailer for Hunger Games yet? HAVE YOU?? Because I can't stop watching it:

That ending gives me chills every. single. time.

It also reminds me that I *really* have to read the next two books.

I've been on a huge Warehouse 13 kick this week; I watched the whole second season in a matter of days. I'm not sure why I ever lost track of that show; it's pretty darn fabulous. (Although I mostly watch it for Claudia and Artie. Love love LOVE Claudia and Artie.) (Well, and all the gadgets. Obviously.) Now I'm stuck, though, because season three isn't on Netflix streaming. NoooOOOooo!

I guess this means I'll just have to go work or something.

Oh! Or catch up on Chuck - I'm a season or two behind on that, too.

:D

So...what are you guys watching this weekend?

Frame Your ACEOs By Cutting Corners

2012-01-24T19:35:00.002-05:00

I've talked about framing ACEOs (small art cards that measure 2.5 x 3.5) before, but I've always hated the fact that I had to put adhesive directly on the card itself to mount it in a shadowbox, effectively ruining any signature or writing there.

(Of course you can also frame an ACEO using a mat, but since the cards are so tiny to begin with I like to keep the edges completely visible.)

It wasn't until a reader recently asked me if there was any way to mount an ACEO without adhesive that I started brainstorming alternatives.

I'll spare you the whole list, and just get straight to the blindingly-obvious-in-hindsight solution:

Photo corners!

Why didn't I think of these before??

They come in standard colors like black, white, and a beautiful metallic gold. Since they're paper, you could also paint them to match your art exactly.

[EDIT: Oooh, and according to the comments you can find them in clear plastic, too! AWESOME SAUCE.]

The easiest way to use the corners is to stick all four on your art card *before* removing the sticker backs:

Then you can line up your card on your backer board or pretty scrapbook paper and remove all the sticker backs at once.

If you plan to mount your card in a shadowbox, like these, then use the photo corners to attach your card to a stiff piece of mat board justly barely smaller than the card itself. Then glue your foam riser pieces to the board instead of your art. Voilá! Your art remains undamaged!

You can also trim the photo corners to make them a tiny bit smaller. Just be careful only to cut the front of the corner, and not the back support:

Hold your corners like this, bending the back piece back, and then use scissors to trim off a quarter inch or so. (Not much, I know, but every millimeter counts with ACEOs!)

Here's the piece I just finished framing tonight:

These are original watercolors I bought from my friend Christie (the same one who painted me the steampunk seahorse.) I've never been much of a unicorn person, but I just love these - and the fact that they're in my favorite colors doesn't hurt. ;)

I already had the frame and blue scrapbook paper, so the only expense was the photo corners and the white mat, which cost a whopping $4 at Hobby Lobby.

Speaking of which, I'm never going to the grumpy lady at JoAnn's for mats again! A sweet gal at HL literally took less than three minutes to cut this custom size for me, and then redid it even faster - for free! - when I asked for a slight change. ALL FOR FOUR DOLLARS. I think I'm in love.

Anyhoo, hope this tip helps some of you art-lovers out there! Happy framing!

The Force is Strong With This Nursery

2012-01-23T16:45:00.001-05:00

Shannon just sent me a link to the most amazing Star Wars themed nursery over on Apartment Therapy. Check this out:

Color-changing lightsaber sconces! YES. (And how perfect is that quote?)

I love the modern bold lines, and that mom Abby didn't go overboard with the details. Plus, no need to break out the paintbrush, the quote and wall art are all wall-decals!

I'm also digging that silhouette mobile. It was purchased here on Etsy, but I bet you could DIY something similar with heavy cardstock.

Here's a close-up:

And how about a version that uses ships from all different shows? I'm thinking Serenity, the Enterprise, the TARDIS, a few TIE-fighters...aw yeeeeah.

But perhaps the best part of this Force-full nursery? The Wampa-skin rug, of course!

It's gettin' Hoth in here!

There's also plenty of squee-worthy toys and an adorable Boba Fett lamp and more wall art and such, so go see the full picture slide show on the original post here. They also include a handy list of shopping links for all the goodies, which is both helpful and very dangerous. (Where can I hang some lightsaber sconces, guys? I mean, is the guest bathroom appropriate?)

Raid the Attic!

2012-01-20T10:33:00.001-05:00

I love seeing obsolete or outdated technology turned into something fun and useful again. I mean, just look at this funky purse made from an old old rotary phone!

Check out the full tutorial by Chica and Jo, found via Dollar Store Crafts

Sadly I only use cross-body satchels these days, but I can promise you that if I ever see you carrying a purse like this I will love you forever.

(And by "love you forever," I mean "stalk you through the store until I work up the courage to tell you how cool you are, and maybe ask you out in a totally platonic and John-approved manner.")

Over on Etsy you can find notepads made from old floppy disks or hard disks for as little as $5, but of course this was the one to catch my eye:

$9.15 at emilydesign

ORANGE!

Or how about these tiny vintage cameras that Jason Hull turns into nightlights?

Seriously genius. This ones shines through both the lens on the front and the viewfinder on top.

Here's another:

I never knew how much I needed a camera nightlight until this very second. MUST HAVE CUTENESS NOW.

(You can see lots more at Jason's Flickr stream.)

And finally, perhaps the most beautiful typewriter mod I've ever seen:

This hacked typewriter types colors instead of letters. It's a piece of art that actually makes art*! WOW. Made by Tyree Callahan (hit the link for more pics), found via BoingBoing.

[*EDIT: as a few of you have pointed out in the comments, a closer reading of that article shows the color typewriter isn't actually functional. Oops. Still pretty, though!]

I know there's tons of jewelry that makes use of old circuit boards and memory sticks and whatnot, but have you guys seen anything else cool made from old technology? Share your links in the comments!

DIY Hat Display Stand

2012-01-19T15:01:00.001-05:00

Here's a quick & easy mod for anyone who has a pretty bit of head wear to display. It's perfect for steampunk top hats and aviator hoods, but would work equally well for any kind of hat - like, say, collectible Mickey ears. [grin]

All you need is a pretty candlestick, half of a hard foam ball, a bit of padding, fabric, and long push pins (not shown - ignore those nail tacks there):

The foam ball will sit on the top of your candlestick. It can hang over the edge, or you can get a size that fits the top almost exactly, as I did.

Cut your foam ball in half (I used a long utility blade) and cover it with quilters batting. Glue the first layer down with plain white craft glue, and the other layers of batting will stick to each other.

Now, I didn't actually have any batting, so - prepare to laugh - I used unrolled cotton balls:

Hey, it works!

If you plan to tuft your cushion (did I mention we're making a cushion here?) with pins, you'll need a fair amount of padding. I used four or five layers of unrolled cotton balls, with a bit extra on the very peak.

Now the tricky bit: wrap your padded half ball with a generous square of fabric and gather it all together underneath the flat bottom, holding it all in one hand. Smooth the top of the ball with your free hand as best you can, and arrange the pleats/scrunchy bits on the edges 'til you're happy with the results.

Next tie the gathered fabric you're holding together with a long twist tie or bit of string, like so:

Then pin the bejeepers out of it all around the edges. (Kinda looks like a jellyfish's nethers, doesn't it?)

When your pins are all in, remove the twist tie and trim off the excess fabric.

Now flip your mini cushion over and use more push pins to create a tufted look, if you like:

I quickly realized the tacks I purchased were way too large, so I decided to stick with the tiny push pins. I later used liquid gold leaf to paint the tips, so now they blend with the fabric better:

I used a small square of industrial Velcro to attach the cushion to my candlestick top. If your candlestick has a metal spike sticking out, though, you could just stick the foam ball right on top of that.

And that's it!

Although I did have to add one last finishing touch:

Since this is for the steampunk Mickey ears Christina & Dylan made for me, I decided to add my aviator Mickey pin to the stand's base. First I jazzed it up with a few gears on the back:

[singing] "I glued some gears on it, and called it steeeeampuuunk..."

...and then I drilled a tiny hole into the base to insert the pin back:

This way I can still remove the pin when I want to wear it. Also, note how the gears match the back of my Mickey ears:

(Ah, those infamous Tim Holtz gears...)

Ok, time for pretty finished product shots!

Now, you might be wondering why I bothered making a pretty cushion when odds are no one will ever see it. Good question. All I can say it, I'll know it's there.

And here are my steampunk ears, finally displayed in all their glory!

And now with a few snazzy accoutrements:

Hope you enjoyed, guys! Be sure to send pics if you try this yourself!

Oh, and if you're on the hunt for good candlesticks to mod, I found the best selection was over at HomeGoods. This one cost about $12, and is a nice heavy resin. Of course, ideally you already have a few wooden 'sticks lying around the house you can use!

Baby Epbot 'Bot!

2012-01-17T17:17:00.001-05:00

Jordan of jayMARIAH just posted this on the Epbot Facebook page, and AAAUUGHH GREAT GEEKY SQUEEEGASM!

Oh. My. Cute.

On the one hand, I am delighted beyond the capacity for rational thought.

On the other: HOW DARE SHE MAKE A BETTER 'BOT THAN ME?!

Ahem.

Ah, but it gets better. When I asked Jordan to scan the drawing in to send me a copy, she reported that she didn't have a scanner, so instead, how about this?

Orange balloon! Orange balloon! ORANGE BALLOON!!!

I love how Jordan instinctively knew the original 'bot was designed so his head could retract into his body, too. I like to think he really did start out as an egg, and then ate too many data chips as he got older. :D

Go show Jordan some love on her post, won't you? I'll just be here staring pie-eyed at the cuteness and cooing softly to myself. So, you know, don't mind me.

The Great Non-Event

2012-01-16T16:58:00.002-05:00

Hi.

So, I have about four new craft projects in the works, but nothing ready to share yet. So instead, here's a little update on the life of two hermit blogger persons:

- Remember that orange safety knife that matched our car and John bought at a dead mall after the nice British sales lady sliced her finger open with it and sprayed blood all over the place and I freaked out like a squeamish McSqueamerson?

[reminiscing] Ah, memories.

Anyway, someone stole it! Right out of our car! They left the old iPod and CDs and somewhat pricey mobile Internet card, but took our $12 window smasher/knife thingy. They rifled through all our stuff and even used the knife to cut open a package I hadn't mailed yet in the backseat - but left everything in the package. Odd, right? So now I figure this is all a plot by a clever killer who's planning on making our little pocket knife his new murder spree weapon of choice because it has John's fingerprints all over it. The fact that I've been watching the new Sherlock over and over again has nothing to do with that theory, either.

- Speaking of awesome TV shows: DOWNTON ABBEY OMG!! I can't remember the last time I was this excited over new episodes. You're all watching it, right? RIGHT?! Please, I need someone to understand my pain and madness and wishing Thomas would just fall in love with a nice boy and maybe arm-length evening gloves would come back in fashion and do Mary's eyebrows fascinate any one else out there or is that just me?

Ahem.

- As I type this, John is cleaning the house and singing pretty songs at the top of his lungs. I joked on Twitter that I was waiting for the helpful woodland creatures to show up. Because I can totally make Disney princess jokes about my husband. TOTALLY.

- On a serious note, tomorrow is a terribly important non-event for us, because tomorrow is the day John and I decided many months back that we would shut down Cake Wrecks. For good.

Told you it was serious.

We'd told our closest friends and family and I wrote the final post and we faced the incredulous lecture of our financial adviser and friend who could not believe we wouldn't even consider selling the site. (And just to go on record: we never will. I won't see CW turned into a soulless Cheezburger network clone - ever.)

It wasn't because we've lost readership- we've held steady with our numbers for forever, and I still have nearly 10 times the audience there that I have here - and it wasn't because I don't enjoy writing it anymore. It wasn't even that I felt unappreciated - if only you could see the touching, makes-me-cry-at-least-once-a-week fan mail. I was just tired. Physically, mentally, spiritually - I felt drained and uninspired, and the daily deadline to BE FUNNY NOW was chipping away at my motivation to even get out of bed every afternoon. (Blogger's hours, doncha know.)

I have mild bouts of that kind of depression pretty regularly, but after the last book and 5-week tour it reached a critical level. Stopping CW seemed the only way out.

Then the tour ended, and we got home and purposely planned a low-key holiday season with minimal travel and family interaction. I got back to my crafting, and spent a lot of time alone with my cats and my hubby and learning to breathe again.

And I felt better.

So, for those of you who might be concerned, Cake Wrecks is NOT ending tomorrow. There won't be another CW book, though. I've learned where my breaking point is, and writing and promoting a new book while maintaining two blogs and my sanity is IT.

That said, I still haven't really caught up. I usually write posts about a week out - once even two weeks out - but for the past month I've been writing each day's post at 8pm the night before. John says I write better this way, since I can't over think it. I say it's still pretty dang nerve-wracking. I'm hoping to muster the motivation to get back in the black sometime soon.

And 'til then: I have a few crafts to finish. ;)

An UP Engagement & A Steamy Wedding!

2012-01-11T14:57:00.000-05:00

I've seen two amazing wedding shoots since yesterday, so prepare for much squeeing & dreamy sighing, fellow geeks.

First, Lynnette and James worked with Wildflowers Photography to get the most spectacular UP themed engagement photos I've ever seen:

Not only did they dress to fit the part - and have a rockin' miniature balloon house - they also included most of Carl & Ellie's favorite activities from the movie! Stuff like cloud gazing:

...and sharing grape sodas:

(Note his bottle cap pin. D'awww.)

And perhaps my favorite: here's a montage of vintage ties on James, no doubt meant as an homage to the bit in the movie where Ellie straightens Carl's tie every morning.

I'm tearing up, guys. Seriously.

(In case you don't remember that part, you can see the tie montage below starting at 2:19)

There are so many more great shots you've just got to see, though, so go check out the full post on Lynnette and James here.

Next, the most creative and casually elegant steampunk wedding I've seen in ages:

Kate and Jacob described their wedding style this way: "“It’s like a steampunk Zeppelin crash-landed in a fairy forest.” Ha! I love it!

And believe it or not, guys, they totally nailed it:

WOW.

WOW WOW WOW.

During the ceremony they used music from Star Wars and The Princess Bride, among others. And the bride wore leather boots instead of heels. I FREAKING LOVE THESE PEOPLE.

Head over to Ruffled for the complete blog post, with tons more pictures. (The ceremony was held outside, so don't miss the pics of that!)

And thanks to Rebekah S., who I think was the first to send me the steamy link, and to Ellen O. for sharing the UP shoot on the Epbot FB page. Keep the awesome stuff comin', guys!

Vintage Space Art Playing With Portals

2012-01-10T13:43:00.002-05:00

I saved the best of the pages from the few vintage kids' books I made into purses, and have long intended to hang these space-themed ones from an old school book in my office:

Trouble was, the pages were double-sided - and I kind of liked both sides.

Plus the pages are a bit yellowed, which makes them seem a bit dingy. So I did the obvious thing and scanned them so I could print copies of all four.

Once I'd scanned them in and spiffed them up in PS, though, I started thinking about replacing the text with something a bit more...inspirational.

Which led me, naturally, to the words of Cave Johnson from Portal 2:

I initially made this one with the full quote, but as you see it's a bit wordy and doesn't quite fit the schoolbook tone:

Funny, though.

For the remaining two prints I decided to balance out the set with quotes from GLaDOS, and oddly enough, they fit with the illustrations rather beautifully:

Let's just pretend there's a portal on the planet's surface, shall we?

I love how the astronaut actually looks kind of sheepish. If he'd been grinning it would have spoiled the whole effect.

These would be hilarious hanging in a space-themed nursery, don't you think? If only to see how many visitors actually read the art. (Has anyone done a Portal-themed nursery yet? And if not, WHY NOT?!) (And before you ask, yes, I have seen the Portal kids' room. And it's awesome.)

Anyway, I'm still learning my way around Photoshop, so I spent an embarrassing amount of time cleaning these up and arranging the text just the way I liked it. I bolded certain words the way textbooks do, found the closest matching font to the original I could, and for the third page I even added a few more stars to fill in the gap left by the reduced amount of text. I like how crisp and clean they look now, and most importantly, they make me laugh.

I haven't printed them yet, but I'll be sure to show you guys pictures once I have them framed!

UPDATE: A lot of you designer types are decrying my font choice. I get that. All I can say is I thought it was the closest match to the original text and fit the schoolbook vibe well - but I'll gladly change it if you have something better to suggest! Maybe I'll even try a fun art deco font to mix things up...

Walk Off The Earth Awesomeness

2012-01-07T20:49:00.000-05:00

I'm not much of an online video watcher - I think it's my inherent impatience - but John is, and almost every day he shows me one or two of his new favorites. I like letting him sift through the deluge and just show me the highlights, whether it's the newest cute cat video or some amazing science lecture.

Anyhoo, yesterday he showed me this, and WOWEE you guys gotta see!

Not only is the whole five-people-playing-one-guitar thing amazing to watch, the song is super catchy. I only listened to it twice yesterday, and I've had it stuck in my head all day! (Not necessarily a bad thing.)

And if you like that one, watch this one next. The technique alone will make your jaw drop:

HOW?!

I love how artists are taking advantage of viral videos to market their music now - like OK Go and Pomplamoose. Half the time I start watching just for the visuals, and end up loving the music.

Speaking of which, here's a song I never would have listened to if it weren't for the video, and it's been one of my favorites for months now. It's by a Finnish singer named Lauri Ylönen, but if you like 80s pop you'll probably love it:

The vid's also a bit dark. And confusing. But hey, cute puppet!

I originally saw this on SuperPunch last year, and then spent a while hunting for a place to buy it, since it doesn't appear to be available in the U.S. It's a shame there are more places to download it for free than there are places you can actually purchase it (ie, I haven't found one yet), since I'd gladly pay a few bucks for it. Take my money, iTunes, please.

Hit the Ok Go & Pomplamoose links above to see my favorites of their videos, and then tell me who I'm missing in the comments! Maybe you guys will turn me into a Youtube junkie after all. ;)

Convention Photos From 1980!

2012-01-06T13:55:00.001-05:00

Britt sent me a link to a great collection of photos from the 1980 Westercon, and it is fascinating. There's some excellent cosplay in there - stuff I could have believed came from last year's Dragon*Con, if it weren't for the quality of the photos. In fact, it's actually kind of awesome seeing how little conventions have changed. Why, there are plenty of ladies in skimpy outfits...

This Lady of the Lake/mermaid was by far the most photographed, I'm guessing on account of her free-flapping boobages. And the giant live snake she later had wrapped around her.

...guys sporting excessive weaponry:

Anyone else suspect that's Adam Savage in the middle?

And plenty of stunning fan-made creations:

I want her hat.

Check out this fabulous Leia and Yoda:

I thought Yoda was a statue until I found another picture of him walking around. So, yep, there's a person in there!

And probably my favorite:

Not because I'm a big Alien fan, but because this proves fangirls have always rocked the house. I salute you, fellow geek girl!

There are lots and lots more pictures, so click on over to The LA Science Fantasy Society to see them all. (Keep in mind the costume photos are mixed in with the non-costume stuff, so just keep scrolling to see everything.) And thanks again to Britt for the link!

Oh, and speaking of conventions: if you're thinking of visiting Orlando next month, be sure it's on the weekend of the 17th for MegaCon. John and I will probably be there all three days, and I'd love to meet any of you who'll be there!

Desperado Decorating

2012-01-05T12:55:00.000-05:00

Since this might get me in trouble, here are a few things you should know:

1. John and I took a photography course together in college.

2. Our maturity level has remained relatively static since then.

3. I never inhaled.

So yesterday I found an old photo from that course that used to hang in our living room - much to the consternation or delight of our friends, depending on their taste - and decided it needed to be reintroduced to our decor.

As luck would have it, I also found one of those sappy printed word frames from Ross tucked away in my stash. I have no idea why I bought it, but I quickly realized this was a match made in heaven.

Assuming heaven is really snarky.

Hey, at least it makes me laugh. ;)

Gettin' My Geeky Groove Back

2012-01-03T19:22:00.001-05:00

Hellooooo, beautiful geeklings, geekettes, and fellow geek-meisters!

So my family may have sent me home with a large box of dark chocolate-covered cherries, and I MAY have consumed a few too many. BUT NO MATTER. Because I, my friends, am back. And I've missed you. Well, most of you. You know who you are. [winkwink]

So. How was your break?

Since I can't actually hear you, I'll just go ahead and fill you in on mine.

First, even though my family decided a few years ago to stop doing the gift thing (too much stress, and we're all hard-to-buy-for adults anyway) most of us broke the rules.

From John:

Aww yeeah. Does my man know me, or what? (He also got me some mold-making resin. Woot!!) I'm afraid the stainless steel wallet & Star Trek DVDs I got him pale in comparison.

John and I spent Christmas day at home finishing up a gift for my mom: a framed canvas print of a portrait we took of her during Dragon*Con. I snagged the canvas off Zazzle when they were running a 60% off sale. Since this was a very last minute idea, we didn't have time to order a custom frame - but no matter! We'll just, uh, frame it ourselves? Yeah! Why not?

After searching all over town for a shop that actually stocks frame wood and was open on Christmas Eve, we found a small place an hour away that sold us some discontinued scraps of the ugliest frame wood ever to blight the face of the earth. Seriously, it was hideous. We couldn't paint over it fast enough, so I only have this one comparison shot for you:

That's what we started with on the right, and our completed frame on the left.

And here are some progress shots:

This was after John had built the frame and primed it (he's quick!) and sprayed on a chrome base coat.

Next, I added a metallic gold glaze:

I dabbed it on sparingly and smoothed it out by stippling to give the frame a nice platinum look.

After two coats of the gold glaze, it was time for aging:

Here John's applying a heavy coat of black glaze to the rope detailing, which we then quickly wiped off again:

When that was done, I added gold Rub N' Buff to the peaks of the rope and scrollwork detail, and, voila!

Depending on the light, the frame can look silver or pale gold. Kinda nifty.

Here's the back, in case you're curious how John put it all together:

Which we then tidied up by covering with matte gold craft paper:

The day after Christmas we drove to Williamsburg, where we spent several days with my parents and grandmother. I think Mom loved her portrait - Dad immediately hung it prominently in their stairwell - and Dad spent the week gleefully playing with the new camera and lenses we brought him. We also set them up with my old Mac desktop, which was especially fun since they've been life-long PC users. (We've already had a video chat with them since we've returned home, and the vaguely confused and awed expressions on their faces was ADORABLE.) (Love you, Mom & Dad!)

We drove home New Year's Day, arriving in the wee hours. Yesterday I de-Christmas-fied the house. :( I left the steampunk tree for last, and sighed many dramatic and heartbroken sighs as I packed away all the ornaments.

I wasn't kidding about not taking all those lights off, though, and fortunately John found a solution for me:

He shrink-wrapped our tree, guys.

We'll be storing it this way in the garage, which I'll now be calling Shelob's Lair, for obvious reasons:

This sight is so ridiculous I can't help but laugh every time I see it. But hey, next year we can just cut off the wrap, fluff the branches a bit, and plug it in!

Well, that's a wrap - pun intended - obviously - so I'll leave you with a fun video to watch during your next lunch break. If you're familiar with the music of Jonathan Coulton, you'll love it. If you're not, you'll still love it - but afterward you should definitely go look him up. He makes great fun geeky music, and this mini-musical based on his song Code Monkey is great geeky fun:

Happy new year, everyone! Here's to lots more geeky fun in 2012!

Merry And Bright

2011-12-25T09:30:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was my idea of a perfect Christmas Eve: John and I stayed home all day and played with our cameras. Since I usually only take pictures at night, it was fun to get some shots with actual daylight - and to try out a few new Photoshop filters.

So before they're out of season, a few pretties from our house to yours:

This angel and that owl stay in my office year-round. They're just too pretty to pack away!

This, too.

I played lots of Crosby, Sinatra, and Glenn Miller/big band jazz on our rebuilt vintage radio all day - stuff we usually never listen to, but that just sounds so *right* coming out of that cabinet.

I know very little about photography, but I love it so much I'm trying to learn. The technical aspects make my head spin, but fortunately that's John's strong point. (He gave me a ten minute lesson on F stops the other day. Ask me how much I remember.)

I took all of these photos on a Canon Rebel XT, in case you're curious, and I highly recommend it. John has now purchased two newer and higher grade cameras for me, but I keep coming back to my old XT for its ease of use and picture quality. We also buy all of our cameras and equipment used on Craig's List, and have had nothing but good luck with it.

Today we're spending another quiet day at home with John's mom (dinner at Golden Corral - awww yeeeeahh), and then it's off to Williamsburg to visit my family. That drive used to fill me with dread, but after six weeks in a car for the book tour somehow 13 hours doesn't sound quite so bad.

Merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah, everyone!

Good On Paper

2011-12-22T14:57:00.001-05:00

Maybe it's the crafty immediate gratification of it all, but lately I've been obsessed with papercraft.

And this obsession MUST BE SHARED.

Remember the Star Wars snowflakes that have been everywhere lately? Well, Tesh of Tish Tosh Tesh made a steampunk version:

Great grinding gears! Seriously cool, right?

Plus, in another post she provides handy illustrations and instructions for folding a "snowflake seed", ie the "proper flat hexagonal structure for snowflake cutting." I'm so trying this.

If you don't feel like folding, how about this fun and funky geometric paper wreath?

Love the sparkly retro colors! Watch Meg's quick video tutorial here.

Jessica of How About Orange (which is such a cool blog, btw) made this fabulous woven paper ball garland:

She got the instructions from The Cheese Thief, who has a video tutorial here.

Also, if you check the left sidebar of How About Orange, you'll find links to several amazing paper ornament tutorials. I want to try them all - and not just because she uses my favorite color so much. Honest.

If you're the type who'd rather sit back and just *watch* people make amazing papercraft, then you might check out Between the Folds, an origami documentary John and I watched on Netflix streaming last night. Here's the trailer:

The French artist at the :29 mark has the most *amazing* paper seahorse on his desk - I wish you could see it better here - and the guy folding the white spirals at the :13 and :36 mark was my favorite. Really gorgeous, intricate stuff.

And finally, when it comes to free downloadable projects, Matt Hawkins of Custom Paper Toys is probably my all-time favorite. His gargoyle "Gnarley" has been on my monitor for at least two years now:

I just made a new one, in fact, since the paper was getting old.

Completely unrelated, but I have a cute little bat toy (a gift from John of SuperPunch) on the other side:

D'aww.

And before you ask: they're all stuck down with BlueStik, the removable adhesive putty. When your monitor's only an inch thick, that stuff really comes in handy.

Getting back to the paper, check the right-hand sidebar of Custom Paper Toys for a list of all Matt's free downloads. There are plenty of great ones, but I especially like AstroGnome, Chuckles, and Mr. Robot, which I'm making now and is definitely too complicated for beginners and tired bloggers who are trying to watch Mythbusters at the same time. Just so you know.

TIP: If you're new to papercraft, remember to use cardstock or matte photo paper for the toys, and the special paper glue they sell at craft stores will save you a lot of aggravation.

Ok, guys, your turn: If you've stumbled across any great paper crafts lately, please, share with the class in the comments!

Mini Hot Air Balloon Tutorial

2011-12-21T01:12:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned in my steampunk tree post, these hot air balloon ornaments have been our most time-consuming Christmas project. Lots of trial and error, figuring things out as we went along, and, in the case of getting the baskets to hang straight, plenty of "colorful metaphors."

The good news is this isn't a holiday-specific craft: wouldn't they make an awesome mobile? Or hang one in the corner of your office for a little whimsy.

To start, you'll need a plastic ornament. The most realistic shape is a tear drop, but since I couldn't find one in plastic we went with round ones and this funky dealio:

At first I didn't think this shape would work, but after sticking a flag on top (which is actually the bottom) it's now my favorite. The flag is a scrap of raw silk folded over, glued, and decorated with a little gem and some glitter glue.

After your ornament, your next essential element is the basket. After hunting around online, I decided these tiny egg baskets made for dollhouses were just right:

Plus, I found them on ebay for only $7.50 for 10 baskets, with free shipping from Thailand. Not bad! (Here's a link if you want to buy from the same seller I did.)

Next, a little aging with watered down brown craft paint:

And then a heavier coat brushed on and wiped off a bit:

Keep the basket handles on for painting, but then clip them off when you're done.

Odds are your ornament will already be pretty as-is, but for a little extra bling you can swag some chain like so:

To do this, get out your trusty Dremel with snake attachment, insert your teensiest drill bit, and drill little pilot holes. Then tap in tiny nails, swag your chain over the nails, and add a drop of superglue to keep it all in place. (If your chain is larger, you can insert the nails through the links.)

Don't have a Dremel? No worries: many ornaments are thin enough that you can push a simple thumb tack through:

See that cord John's holding? That's a poor girl's flexible ruler: just tie a string around the ornament neck, mark your spot, and slide the string around to keep your distances consistent. Nifty, huh?

It's a great way to keep your circumference lines straight:

For plain ornaments like this one you'll want to paint on some designs, glue on some blingy stuff, dip it in glitter, etc. This was our first attempt, so mine's pretty simple:

I'm also happy to report this was the first project I've ever used glitter glue on, and man, is that stuff awesome. (The gold lines are liquid leaf paint.)

From the beginning I knew I wanted a balloon with a net over it, but drawing a net on a round ball is one of those things that sounds easy until you try it. Everything's going fine, and then, BAM! What do I do with the corners?!

To save you the same aggravation, here's the solution I came up with:

As you can see, I drew my grid work with chalk. Then, when I reached the corners, I carefully erased the two final intersecting grid lines and combined them into one. I added a few more lines on either side off that central branch, curving them slightly, so I ended up with four "stretched" corners.

I realize that sounds confusing, so I advise you to just check my pictures if/when you try this, and try to match them:

When I was happy with my lines, I painted over them with liquid leaf paint:

You could almost skip this step, though, because it turns out a nice thick line of glitter glue covers pretty well:

Plus, look how 3D it looks - like an actual net!

(Full disclosure: the glue deflates as it dries, so it's not nearly so puffy now.)

For the finishing touch I bent a little filigree piece to match the ball's curve, and glued red crystals scrounged from my broken jewelry stash into the middle. (Click any of these photos to enbiggen.)

Oh, and the eyelet on top is just a regular ol' eyelet screwed in and painted gold.

Now for the hard part: hanging your basket.

We discovered the hard way that nothing - but NOTHING - will stick to the sides of these lousy baskets. All our super glues were defeated, and hot glue is hard to jam in there. Eventually I cut a tiny circle of cardstock, glued/taped the strings to the underside of the circle, and then jammed it into the basket with a heavy dollop of white glue on the bottom.

Because the basket weighs nothing, your strings will want to bend and curl and kink. Not to worry: grab a heavy nut or two from your tool box, plop 'em in the basket, cover them with a scrap of black tissue paper, and it should weigh it down sufficiently.

To attach the other ends of the strings to your ornament, you can either glue them (and then cover the ends with a ribbon) or, as we did, tie the strings around your little nails.

Of course, you might be wondering how to tie all your strings perfectly level, so the basket hangs straight.

SO AM I.

(Remember those colorful metaphors?)

My only advice is a wing and a prayer and maybe a little booze.

Of course, if you use *chain* you can count links and not worry about weighing the basket down - but then you have to figure out how to attach the chain to your basket. O rings are a bit big for such a tiny basket, but I decided to use them anyway on my latest prototype:

Overall this method is faster and easier, but you'll note I STILL can't get the rotten basket to hang straight. I counted links and everything! Honest! (True story: John's in the other room right now with a pair of pliers trying to "fix" whatever I did wrong here. Harrumph.)

This one started as a plain purple ornament, so I jazzed it up with some copper foil tape (the kind you use in stained glass) and bronze glitter glue:

While I was waiting for the glue to dry, my friend Missy remarked that she was surprised I hadn't used pennies in any of my ornaments yet. A-ha! PENNIES!

The one I used is from some friends who recently went to NYC, and eventually I'd like to fill all eight panels with national landmark pennies. They remind me of the decorative panels painted on carousels, and add a lot of detail. Trouble is, I don't have any more - all my smashed pennies are Disney ones. Heh. So, if you have an area landmark penny with a vertical design you wouldn't mind giving up, feel free to send it to me. You know, for the cause.

And now, my dear crafters, I will wrap up this monster post and wish you the very best of balloon luck. I hope you enjoyed, and as always, feel free to share suggestions for improvement or ask questions in the comments!

[Edit: Several people have asked where I found our plastic ornaments. The green I believe came from K-mart, and the others are from places like Hobby Lobby, dollar stores, and Big Lots. Cheaper stores are always better, since nicer places tend to only carry glass.]