EpicTee

Ancient Egyptian Plumber

Steven — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:29:27 +0000

CAIRO, Egypt – An illustrated tapestry recently unearthed here seems to suggest that plumbing, long believed to be a primarily Roman invention, may in fact have originated in ancient Egypt.

Depicting a leaping figure wearing boots, a cap, and a form of ancient Egyptian overalls, the illustration indicates that Egypt can claim credit for the now-iconic plumber archetype.

“It’s remarkable how contemporary the plumber figure looks,” says Prof. Martin Etcharles of the University of Shigeru. “It looks like something that could have been drawn in the early 1980s in Japan.”

The tapestry is believed to date from the reign of Pharaoh Bowserkhamun III, during the so-called Mushroom Dynasty. Etcharles says that the whole field of plumbing archaeology has been electrified by the discovery.

“Of course, there’s always the possibility we’re getting too fixated on this plumber character,” he says. “But we wouldn’t be the first to do that.”

$10.00

Donut Panic

Steven — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 08:23:00 +0000

You, you people, you’re really sick. Just look at some of the shirts in our top 10 right now. The adorable paper dolls in Friends are Forever are burning alive. Jimmy…Is That You? is a tableau of misery involving some jolly jack o’lanterns discovering that their friend has been dismembered and baked into a pie. And one of the super-cute Japanese munchies in Hungry Bento is subject to unwelcome cannibalistic advances from one of its plate-mates.

Now, you’ve anointed this jelly-splattered horror as your very favorite shirt from Derby #62. What is wrong with you people? You see something cute and you must make it suffer? What kind of Law & Order: SVU crap is that? We’re sure you’re quiet folks, mostly keep to yourselves. But remind us never to let you cat-sit for us, OK?

$15.00

Anticlothes 15% Off

Steven — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:03:07 +0000

Bryan, the owner of AntiClothes, is offering everyone a special discount today that you won’t find anywhere else. Use code “ilovebryan15″ at checkout, and receive 15% off your order at AntiClothes!

Space Cowboy

Steven — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:43:28 +0000

Nothing like riding a giant bull spaceship that dashes around the galaxy. Yee-haw!

$18.00

The Binge

Steven — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 23:59:25 +0000

When they offered me the gig, I said, “Sure, what’s the harm? Eat a few cookies, get a few laughs, then move on and do something real.” Now here it is 40 years later and I’ve gone nowhere. They don’t want to see what I can do with Ibsen. They don’t want to hear my album of tastefully arranged jazz standards. They don’t care about my all-puppet film adaptation of Tropic of Capricorn. No, they just want me to roll my eyes like some kind of idiot and gobble up a cookie or a letter or a telephone. Do you have any idea what I’ve done to my digestive system over the years? And for what? What am I? Just a clown, a freak – some even say a monster.

$15.00

Free Hugs

Steven — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:00:35 +0000

Excellent if you like hugs. Bad if you hate bears.

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Blow Me

Steven — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:00:15 +0000

Bombs… check. Sexual innuendo… check. Funny tee… check.

$18.00

Ninja Party

Steven — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:00:29 +0000

Everyone has to kick back and let loose here and there. Although, generally giving alcohol to a bunch of dagger wielding ninjas is a terrible, terrible idea.

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Bombing for Peace

Steven — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:00:15 +0000

A street style graffiti style blended with watercolors to deliver a powerful message. An angel “bombing” (spray painting) on a bomb the message we all strive for… Peace.

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Imposter

Steven — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 17:00:03 +0000

Penguin season! Rabbit season! Penguin season! Rabbit season! No, it’s not the Bugs Bunny-Chilly Willy crossover you’ve always dreamed of. We’ll leave that to the fanfic community. This is just a scene in the life of a rabbit who’s wondering how he got here, where things went wrong, and what the penguins will do to him once they found out the truth.

$15.00

Computer Mice

Steven — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:09:03 +0000

Imagine how different the world might have been. If someone looked at the external control device and said “Hey, that looks like an eggplant!” Because, you know, the early ones, they kind of did look like an eggplant. If you squint a little. Well, sure, by the time you saw one they didn’t. We’re talking about the early ones.

Imagine if that external control device had been an eggplant. Why, shirts like this wouldn’t exist! And we’d be in a world where adorable mice were still vermin, while eggplants were looked at as cool. Nerds would order the Eggplant Parmesan and smile a secret smile. Old people would say “Eggplant? It looks more like a zucchini!” and then wonder why no one was laughing. And worst of all, millions of adorable little easy-to-make jokes would be lost, because who ever tried to draw an adorable cartoon eggplant?

So thank heavens things worked out the way that they did.

$15.00

Winning the Race

Steven — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 08:03:47 +0000

And as the smoke cleared and the crowd of woodland creatures began peering out from their hiding places, it was obvious that this race had been decided. Toby spat angrily on the ground.

“Anyone else have something to say?” he growled. Max Hare’s body shuddered as his nerves fired their last, feeble signals to muscles that had seconds ago been pumping dutifully to careen the cocky rabbit through the woods but now lay silent. The smell of singed fur hung in the air, fetid and thick.

Max’s widow Harriet sobbed just a few yards away as Theo Badger restrained her from clamoring out into the street to hug Max one last time. No one knew exactly what was going through Toby’s mind, and it was too dangerous to risk retrieving their friend’s body.

“Shut that she-rabbit up!” Toby bellowed. This was all wrong. His was to be a tale of redemption, of overcoming impossible odds to prove that sometimes the little guy could win. Now, though, he was a monster. His own children cowered from his gaze behind a fern. “What did you people expect?!” his voice cracked, “That stupid rabbit has picked on me for 16 years! I have limits!” Toby fired randomly into the sky. Where did it go from here? Surely the police were on their way. He had more than enough firepower to end them as well, but then what? A life on the run, as an outcast?

Slowly, the lowly tortoise reached up for his WarSnapper Mk. VII Battle Armor’s self destruct switch.

“I didn’t do this,” Toby said, “and neither did Max. It was you! All of you! No one would ever dare say anything, for fear of disrupting the harmony of the forest! Our blood is on your hands, and now so is your own!” Toby flipped the switch.

The last thing the animals saw was a light whiter than Max’s fur.

$15.00

Smash and Grab

Steven — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:09:11 +0000

This shirt is about empowerment. It’s about a new generation that can be it’s own media outlet. We can publish, print and participate. We can disseminate infornation with lightning speed and change percertion.

Super soft water-based inks
White burnout tee
Made in the USA

Womens — $38.00

Mens — $38.00

Deep Sleep

Steven — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:32:45 +0000

Ahab’s dreams weren’t all about white whales. Like any sailor his sleeping mind was populated by cold monsters and warm temptations. Almost every night he’d wake up suddenly, gripping his harpoon with both hands.

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Possessions

Steven — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:28:51 +0000

As a child we all toy with the idea of running away. Maybe you have as an adult too? This represents both child and adult (note the beard) and the occasional need to escape. As a child I once ran away with a Transformer and a bottle of Coke, though as adults we accumulate a mass of possessions. How much do we really need? This design questions our need for consumption and hints at running away not always being a negative thing, which is why I included the yellow brick road. Escaping is about the spirit of adventure but it still has an element of danger.

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Community Service

Steven — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:23:42 +0000

We all knew breaking through walls all the time as an entrance would catch up with ‘em. At least he only had to serve community service.

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Cold Hearted

Steven — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:20:01 +0000

Some wear their heart on their sleeve, we wear it on our chest. Even the coldest hearts melt sometimes….right?

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Follow the Stars

Steven — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:16:01 +0000

It has been said to follow the given path. It has been advised through time. Although, there is a certain part of us that wants to stray, and find our own way. The part of us that makes our eyes stare at the night sky when it is so full of light. So many have followed paths set out for them, but how many have followed the stars?

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Oh My!

Steven — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:09:57 +0000

Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh my! This portrayal of the trifecta of wild beasts inspired by the words of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz is a frightening and messy line drawing bringing all three animals into one form. It’s a beautiful and subtle illustration.

100% Cotton American Apparel

$18.00

Renewabulb

Steven — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:26:27 +0000

In art we’ve often seen light bulbs with plants inside them before, but this idea is more about surrounding ourselves with natural solutions to harness renewable energy. We find this more favorable than surrounding nature in man made solutions.It’s also just some pretty damn clever art.

100% Cotton American Apparel