She’s right. She’s from Turkey. I guess it takes an external perspective.

People graduate from college with immense amounts of student debt. There are subjects you can study that won’t leave you in debt but many people won’t do that They want a four-year degree in music theory.

Then they buy designer shoes and other things they don’t need and can’t afford on credit cards and pay 100 times the cost of the merchandise. in interest, and then the only fix is to tear down the whole government. It’s the fault of billionaires and capitalism that some jackass let them sign a lease for a Range Rover.

People should have to pass an IQ test to get access to credit.

Also, I see in the comments that a lot of people have internalized an essential component of staying broke: Blame everything but yourself.

116,000 viewers strolled past the upside-down Matisse before it was rehung correctly.

I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more often. It probably does . . . it just passes unremarked if the artist isn’t as famous as Matisse. I’ve seen paintings in some of our country’s finest museums consisting of nothing but a square canvas painted a single color. Who’s to say how many times they’ve been accidentally hung upside-down or sideways?

Try this next time you’re at an art museum. Check out the “modern” or “abstract” art and ask yourself for each piece, “Could this be hung upside down without anyone noticing the difference?” I don’t mean that the painting would look exactly the same upside down, I mean it would make as much sense upside down.

You couldn’t hang a still life, for example, upside down. It would be filled with objects defying the law of gravity. But why couldn’t you hang a Jackson Pollock upside down?

The creator, as you can see in the photo below, is not only transgender, but has no arms and no legs.

My question, because I’m not a biologist, is can the creator have two arms and two legs if he/she/ze/they identifies as having two arms and two legs?

ADHD diagnoses often come after teacher complaints about sitting still, finishing work, or disrupting class, not after a careful differential that rules out sleep debt, anxiety, trauma, language problems, or a classroom that expects six-year-olds to do seatwork for long stretches. Once the label is on the chart, a stimulant is the default next step. Methylphenidate and amphetamines work quickly, so the classroom gets quieter and the parent gets relief. That feedback loop does not require the drug to be fixing a discrete brain disease.

DSM criteria were written around childhood impairment, then expanded; adult diagnosis grew even faster once “executive dysfunction” became a popular self-description. Someone who was called smart-but-lazy built coping habits, and later maps the old friction onto a medical term they first heard at 34.

There is a diagnostic and prescribing system, especially for boys who annoy adults, and a cultural script that now invites adults to reinterpret old difficulties as undiagnosed disability.

I asked one of the two women behind the bar, “Which one of these do you recommend?”

“The red one,” she said.

The other woman then weighed in to say, “The red is more (some word I didn’t catch) and the white is more refreshing.”

“I recommend the red,” the first woman said.

There’s some kind of persuasion lesson here. Don’t give people too much to think about? I just wanted a drink that at least one person in a position to know thinks is better.

Granted, I didn’t fully understand what the second woman said but what if she’d said “fruity” or “stimulating” and I wanted something both fruity and refreshing, or I wanted to be refreshed and stimulated at the same time? Now I’m right back where I started.

So I went with the red.

Minnesota's "Outstanding Refugee" is also implicated in a sex trafficking ring. Imagine what the not-so-outstanding refugees are up to. https://t.co/qWNopeu41P

— Paul Epps (@paulepps) August 18, 2026

I haven’t seen socialists this upset since the Berlin Wall came down.

Other possibilities:

I haven’t seen socialists this upset…

…since their favorite coffee shop ran out of oat milk.
…since the USSR ran out of countries to invade.
…since Bernie Sanders had to pay full price for something.
…since the revolution was postponed until after brunch.

The incentives are all wrong. If you pay a group to find hate groups, they will find them . . . even if they have to fund the groups themselves.

“Look at all these hate groups we’re finding/funding. Keep those donations coming.”

On another note, if you’re in a white supremacist group, you better get used to fishing in the shallow end of the mating pool.

Pros (from a DSA perspective):

• Good attendance

Cons:

• Low marks for diversity
• Nothing says “I’m easily manipulated by others” better than wearing a mask in 2026

There was no toilet paper anywhere in the bathroom but on this trip, I didn’t need any.

Picture if you will a person who does need toilet paper, notices there isn’t any, then sees the sign. Now you have to sit there and wait until Leo checks his email . . . if you’re lucky enough to already know Leo’s email.

And if we take the sign literally, BEFORE leaving the bathroom, I should have emailed Leo about the toilet paper.

STOP THE PRESSES!

There are people surviving war, poverty, hunger, unimaginable loss, while others are sitting in comfort, breaking over things that are not even real problems.

Here's Joy Reid collapsing under the weight of normal life. https://t.co/tLWk6XkeJU via…

— Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 3, 2026

My mom looked me in the eyes and said:
“If you disappeared tomorrow, no one would even notice.”
Everyone laughed.
I raised my hot dog and said:
“Challenge accepted.”
That night, I packed two suitcases, left my key on the counter, and moved three hours away.
No note.
No goodbye.…

— Hazel (@Hazel_qs) May 20, 2026

She did it AGAIN!! @Jennifersey just put together another video that has me in tears.

Wait for it.

Sound on.

They block these videos on other platforms bc they don’t want you seeing them. But you can see them here!! pic.twitter.com/0dwMxP9eCV

— Jennifer ?????????? ? (@babybeginner) April 13, 2026

I’m stretching “boyhood” a little here, but Bobby Cox had a long career. And my son was an Atlanta Braves fan growing up so now his boyhood sports icons are dying.

Cox managed the Atlanta Braves from 1978 to 1981, and then the Toronto Blue Jays from 1982 to 1985. He rejoined the Braves in 1986 as a general manager.

He moved back to the manager’s role during the 1990 season and stayed there until his retirement following the 2010 season. Cox led the Braves to 14 consecutive division championships from 1991 to 2005 (interrupted in 1994 when a strike ended the season early), which included a World Series title in 1995.

That 14 straight division title record is the most amazing thing to me. No other manager has won more than 6 division titles in their entire career.

Cox had 2,504 wins, fourth all-time among managers.

RIP Bobby Cox

Big gorilla at the LA zoo
Snatched the glasses right off my face
Took the keys to my BMW
Left me here to take his place

I wish the ape a lot of success
I’m sorry my apartment’s a mess
Most of all I’m sorry if I made you blue
I’m betting the gorilla will too

https://t.co/eG1T1bl2pG

— Paul Epps (@paulepps) May 13, 2026

A high school student named AB Hernandez won all three jumping events — high jump, long jump, triple jump — in the girls’ division at the CIF Southern Section track meet this weekend.

None of the events was close. For example, Hernandez won the girls’ high jump with a mark of 5’8″, quite a bit better than the second place mark of 5’4″.

Meanwhile, over in the boys division, the winner cleared 6’10”. Now if you’re a boy and you want to win the CIF Southern Section but you can only clear 5’8″, you’ve got a couple of options. You can train a lot harder or you can compete against girls.

The fact that the second option is available is a source of wonder to me, and I don’t mean that in a good way, because it would seem to appeal only to people who really hate girls.

The CIF Southern Section covers a vast area of Southern California, so to win an event, you’ve got to put in a lot of work and beat a lot of other competitors. It bothers me that biology is thrown out the window, but it bothers me more to think of girls putting in the work to be better than every other girl in Southern California and then being forced to lose to a boy of no athletic distinction at all.

I think it would take the joy out of training and competing to know in advance that you can’t win no matter how hard you try.

But the answers are pretty remarkable. The blue bars, in particular. On the left, we have 70 percent of college-educated liberals who either don’t know something that I thought everyone knew, or they know it but for some reason would prefer not to acknowledge it.

My son and I were at Game 7 of the 2002 World Series and saw Anderson rip a bases-clearing 3-run double down the right field line to give the Angels a lead of 4-1, which would turn out to be the final score.

The eventual game-winning hit in Game 7 of the 2002 World Series that gave the Angels their first and only World Series title

Rest in Peace, Garret Anderson ?? pic.twitter.com/ZEwPiMQSon

— Baseball Quotes (@BaseballQuotes1) April 17, 2026

Anderson played 15 seasons with the Angels and was the franchise leader in games played (2,013), hits (2,368), RBI (1,292), doubles (489), total bases (3,743), extra-base hits (796) and grand slams (eight).

Cause of death has not been announced, which is usually not a good sign.

RIP Garrett Anderson

“I want to get rid of him but I don’t know how to do it.”

“Why don’t you try calling him and saying, ‘I want to get rid of you but I don’t know how to do it.’ See if he has any suggestions.”

O_o (blank stare)

“Sometimes honesty is the best policy.”

Let me disclose the gifts reserved for age
     To set a crown upon your lifetime’s effort.
     First, the cold friction of expiring sense
Without enchantment, offering no promise
     But bitter tastelessness of shadow fruit
     As body and soul begin to fall asunder.
Second, the conscious impotence of rage
     At human folly, and the laceration
     Of laughter at what ceases to amuse.
And last, the rending pain of re-enactment
     Of all that you have done, and been; the shame
     Of motives late revealed, and the awareness
Of things ill done and done to others’ harm
     Which once you took for exercise of virtue.
     Then fools’ approval stings, and honour stains.

Homicidal Elephant Keeps Killing People In Tourist Hotspot, Official Says — dailycaller.com

This happened in Thailand, in Khao Yai National Park. Since my wife is from Thailand, I ask her,
“Have you heard of Khao Yai National Park?”

“You don’t want to go there,” she says. “Dangerous. It’s full of animals.”

“I just read that one of their elephants has killed three people.”

“Don’t go there. It’s for daredevils.”

Here you see the benefit of talking to the locals before taking a trip. If you just do your research online, you get this:

“Khao Yai is no doubt the best national park in Thailand for regular visitors where it is relatively easy to see some impressive animals.”

Granted, that site is intended to promote tourism so it omits any mention of the animals killing you.

These media layoffs have become pretty routine, to which I say “How long can you be on the wrong side of every story and not expect to suffer any consequences?”

Some languages are so constructed — English among them — that we each only really speak one sentence in our lifetime. That sentence begins with your first words, toddling around the kitchen, and ends with your last words right before you step into the limousine, or in a nursing home, the night-duty attendant vaguely on hand. Or, if you are blessed, they are heard by someone who knows you and loves you and will be sorry to hear the sentence end.

My son recently texted me a couple of pictures (see below) and asked “Which one of these is our friends’ 15 month old daughter and which one is Pollock?”

You can click the images to enlarge them if you think it will help you figure out the question.

“That’s a tough one,” I texted back. “They’re both pretty bad.”

It probably won’t surprise you to learn, after looking at his work, that Pollock suffered from severe mental health issues.

He died in August 1956 at age 44 in an alcohol-related single-car collision. I wonder what the inside of the car looked like. Maybe it should have been preserved as his final contribution to abstract art.

He also killed a passenger.

To have to carry your own corn far–
who likes it?
To follow the black bear through the thicket–
who likes it?
To hunt without profit, to return weary without anything–
who likes it?
You have to carry your own corn far.
You have to follow the black bear through the thicket.
You have to hunt to no profit.

If not, what will you tell the little ones? What will you speak of?
For it is bad not to use the talk which God has sent us.
I am Speaks-Fluently. Of all the groups of symbols,
I am a symbol by myself.

The point is, it’s available in multiple sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL, 5XL. Only in America. I seem to remember a time when XXL was the largest size you could get.

What must a person look like to need a 5XL T-shirt?

YOU’RE EATING TOO MUCH FOOD! GO TO THE GYM!

My owner sent me this picture that he saw online:

Chocolate is bad for dogs but I don’t agree with the rest of the list. Dogs are animals, descended from the gray wolf, and animals don’t need to be supervised when eating.

For Thanksgiving, if you stepped away for 15 seconds, I would jump in your chair, polish off an entire plate of holiday delights and probably empty your wine glass as well.

That said, I was an alpha pug, so I can’t speak for any dogs further down the Greek alphabet.

— Lightning

Unpopular opinion: The pen is NOT mightier than the sword. Does anyone want to participate in an experiment? I’ll provide you with a pen.

As a pro, he was a good player on a terrible team. The San Diego Padres, in their first six years of existence (1969–1974), never won more than 63 games and finished each season in last place in the six-team NL West. They were just barely a major league team.

Jones had two really good seasons for the Padres. In 1975, Jones was 20–12 and led the National League with a 2.24 ERA. He had 18 complete games in 36 starts, back when complete games were an actual thing, and became the first 20-game winner in Padres history. Jones was second in wins and WAR (wins above replacement) (7.5) among pitchers, only behind the great Tom Seaver (22 wins and 7.8 WAR). Seaver finished first in the Cy Young Award voting, with 15 first place votes to Jones’s seven.

His best season was in 1976, when he went 22–14 with a 2.74 ERA. (San Diego won just 73 games that season.) Jones became the first Padre to win the Cy Young Award. From May 17 to June 22, he pitched 68 consecutive innings without allowing a base on balls, tying the 63-year-old NL record set by Hall of Famer Christy Mathewson in 1913.

At the All-Star break in July 1976, Jones’s record was 16–3, a first-half win total that set an NL record that no one has equaled since. He finished the season as the major league leader in wins, complete games (25), games started (40), and innings pitched (315.1).

During his last start of the 1976 season, he injured a nerve in his pitching arm that required surgery, and he was never able to regain his Cy Young form. He was with the Padres through 1980, when he was traded to the Mets, and retired before the 1983 season.

Jones finished his career with a win–loss record of 100–123 (.448) and a 3.42 ERA. He is the only starting pitcher to win a Cy Young Award but retire with a losing record. In 285 starts, he threw 75 complete games, including 19 shutouts.

Some of you may not remember what a doormat the Padres were in their early years. Randy Jones had two great seasons but his legacy is putting the Padres on the map in major league baseball.

RIP Randy Jones

They are my real teeth so I said yes.

“They’re not veneers?”

“No.”

“Do you drink coffee?”

“No.”

“Tea?”

“No.”

“Soda?”

“I do drink a lot of sodas.”

“Did you have them bleached?”

“I did a number of years ago. Now I just throw some Crest whitening strips on there a couple times a year.”

“You should be in a toothpaste commercial.”

I don’t know if she was flirting with me. It’s been so long since anyone’s done that that I don’t know what it looks like anymore so I didn’t bring it up.

“What are we doing today?” she asked, while looking over my X-rays.

I think she already knew but I said “Taking out the lower left wisdom tooth.”

“Oh, that’s sad.”

“It is sad. My teeth are like a family. Brother Tooth cannot be separated from Brother Gum.”

She smiled at that . . . then took it out anyway.

German police announced yesterday that they had busted a transnational scheme to sell 20 forgeries of paintings by artists including Rembrandt and Pablo Picasso. Several suspected fakes were seized during coordinated raids across Germany, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein last week.

Authorities allege that a 77-year-old German man led 10 accomplices in the scheme that priced the counterfeits between $465K and $150M.

I don’t know how to paint, unfortunately, but I do know how to use CSS DIVs. How much do you think I can get for this Starry Night forgery?

I say, “Oh I’ve got a ton of questions and concerns.” Pause. “Did you mean about my teeth?”

“Those are the only ones I can help you with.”

“Well . . . no, nothing along those lines. Thanks for asking though!”

I regard Rush as the worst band in the history of music.

Then Neil Peart died and I had to switch to “all the original members of KISS are still alive.” Now that Ace Frehley has died, I’m not sure how to proceed.

Are all of the Bay City Rollers still alive?

RIP Ace Frehley

The fire came under control on October 10, leaving an estimated 300 people dead, 100,000 others homeless and more than 17,000 structures destroyed.

As major disasters go, a death toll of 300 is very low. Aren’t there about 300 people killed in Chicago every weekend now?

Did you know? The same day the Great Chicago Fire began, a fire broke out in Peshtigo, Wisconsin, in which more than 1,000 people perished.

The disaster (in Chicago, not Wisconsin) prompted an outbreak of looting and lawlessness. Some things never change.

Martial law was declared on October 11, and lifted several weeks later.

Also, Happy World Octopus Day to those who celebrate.

These are more useful than the Theory of Relativity, which no one understands anyway.

What I saw was an Amazon truck parked in front of a neighbor’s home and a car stopped in the street. The driver of the car, a young woman, was standing outside the car, and the truck driver was standing near the young woman.

From the physical interaction, they seemed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I don’t know why they happened to be in the same place at the same time, but I didn’t care about that. I cared about the music.

I couldn’t tell if the music was coming from the car or the truck until I walked out there, and then it was obviously coming from the truck.

“What are you doing?” I asked them. “People live here,” I said, gesturing at the homes. “I live here, I work here, and I can’t work with music playing at that volume.”

The truck driver walked back to the truck to turn the music off and I took the opportunity of his absence to say to the girl, “Good luck with that guy. He’s going to lose his job.”

“Why?” she asked, rather unpleasantly. “Are you going to report him?”

“No, but somebody’s going to report him if that’s the way he does business. You can’t pull up to people’s homes and blast loud music at them for no reason.”

The truck driver was back now. “Can I give you a piece of career advice?” I said. “Don’t do anything stupid. On purpose, I mean. We all screw up and do something stupid once in a while, but don’t do it on purpose.”

This is how it's done pic.twitter.com/DV3fL41DnW

— Boom? (@WeriBomb) September 6, 2025

Here is the full video of the situation in the outfield after Harrison Bader’s Home Run.

? @NBCSPhilly https://t.co/W5thuO6nhg pic.twitter.com/h9yJaPbcmX

— Phillies Tailgate (@PhilsTailgate) September 6, 2025

Unless it’s some kind of record-setter like the Shohei Ohtani 50/50 record ball that sold for millions of dollars. Then it’s every mf-er for themselves.

It’s amazing that anyone alive still believes in work-life balance. I thought boomers already proved conclusively that it doesn’t exist.

You can have days focused on work or you can have days focused on family. You can’t have both.

My opinion is that parents should prioritize family. Kids like to grow up with a parent and moms like to spend time with their children.

Of course everyone else can do what they want to, but please stop pretending to be shocked that work-life balance is not a real thing.

But seriously, folks, you’ve probably heard of the Pareto Principle, commonly known as the 80-20 rule. Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923) noticed that in Italy in the early 20th century, about 20% of the population owned roughly 80% of the land, a skewed distribution that appears to be true for every society ever studied, regardless of governmental form.

Pareto distributions arise naturally from systems where positive feedback loops exist—for instance, wealth begets more wealth. Or as Jesus said in Matthew 25:29: “To those who have everything, more will be given; from those who have nothing, everything will be taken.”

The Principle of Unequal Distribution also applies, for example, to the population of cities (a very small number have almost all the people), the mass of heavenly bodies (a very small number hoard all the matter), and the frequency of words in a language (90% of communication occurs using just 500 words).