In July or August I dealt with a persistent nausea that would ebb and flow throughout the day; sometimes I felt like I’d be soon hunched over the toilet (luckily I never got to that point) but other times I forgot about it when I was busy moving around, even though the nausea was always there.  Always.

I started hunting around on the internet and found that I may have a sensitivity to gluten.  By no means do I have very many symptoms on the list of gluten intolerance, but I was dealing with nausea, abdominal pain and cramping, headaches and migraines, and swollen hands and feet.  I thought I’d give it a try, because after a week if it hadn’t worked then I’d be no worse off than before but at least I would have eliminated what WASN’T the problem.

So for a week and a half I ate eggs and fruit for breakfast, salads with chicken at lunch, nuts and dark chocolate for my snack (THANK GOODNESS you can find chocolate that does not contain gluten), and a protein-filled dinner.  You guys, in 11 days I lost 11 pounds.  In no way did I lose fat in that time, but I’m pretty sure I lost 11 pounds of water that my body clung to but did not need.  My upset stomach went away, as did the headaches and swollen extremities.  Because my blood sugar stayed regulated and didn’t dip so low I wasn’t as cranky in the afternoon.  Steering clear of bread made my body happier.

But giving up wheat meant that I couldn’t have my old-fashioned oats at breakfast, my very healthy whole grain bread at lunch, or a baked desserts after dinner.  And that’s why I only stayed totally gluten-free for 11 days.  Because wheat is yummy.

But now I’m back to feeling like I did in the latter part of the summer: I’m constantly nauseous, my rings won’t fit because my hands are so swollen, I have a dull headache that threatens to explode throughout the day.

I hate feeling this way.  And in order to not feel this way I need to eliminate the gluten, but that is hard people.  Aside from the yumminess factor, it is just so dang convenient.  Last night my family ate sandwiches and I ate my lunchmeat rolled up around spinach and honey mustard.  LAME.  At lunch today Daphne and I ate chicken and hummus, but we had to eat those separately, because without spooning the hummus and chicken out with flatbread, how do you do it?  LAME.

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I have to fully commit to this and will have to buy gluten-free cookbooks.  The internet only got me so far.  And I’m considering very expensive meal-replacement powders because they’re healthy and will make at least one meal easier during the day.

So, if I find delicious meals I’ll pass them along to you.  And if any of you have limited your gluten intake, I’d love to hear how you do it without spending a ton of money.

• Each day after school the kids and I have Treat Time, a chance for me to eat sweets and sit and look at my children who’ve been gone all day.  Tuesday I asked Mia if she wanted the store-bought pudding she and Gideon had been begging for or a chocolate chip cookie I’d made the prior afternoon.  She pulled on her lip, looked down and said, “Um… a cookie, I guess.”  I told her that she could eat the pudding if that’s what she’d rather have, but her tiny voice said, “I don’t want to spoil your fun, though, if you want me to eat the cookies you made.”  I convinced her that my feelings would not be hurt in the slightest if she ate the pudding, and so she happily did.
• Every time I send a lunch to school with the kids I write on their napkins.  Mia allows me to write her notes about how much I love her while Gideon barely lets me put the note into his lunchbox.  But that’s a whole other story.  Anyway, Mia always brings her napkins home until I throw them away when she’s not looking.  The other day she told me that her hands were messy at lunch.  When I asked why she didn’t just use her napkin she said, “I don’t want to write on the napkin you gave me, Mama.”  So the next morning I cut her napkin in two: on one I wrote my love note and the other I left blank.  She smiled and nodded her approval.

I’m still here, but Daphne is at a stage where she needs constant interaction.  This makes sitting at the computer and typing nearly impossible.  I sat down and had a little talk with myself about how she is only this age once and I need to soak in the times that she wants to sit on my lap and shut the dryer door for me while I’m in the middle of doing laundry and sit on the counter next to me while I cook.  But the pep talk didn’t work and I continued to get frustrated over the fact that I couldn’t sit by myself and type one line of an email before a certain Baby Chickadee was sitting on my lap and commandeering the keyboard.  Then I prayed about it and my heart was changed.  Now Daphne and I giggle while she pours canned peas over the eggs that I’m frying on the stove.  Messy yes, but pretty hilarious.  And Daphne was awfully proud of herself for helping Mama cook.

I do still write for the Gazette most every week.  They pay me.  And aside from Christmas break and a few sick days, every week I write for them.  Last week I wrote about my time at the gym: The conscious effort to politely ignore.  The week before I wrote about my new reading plan with my husband: Yes, I’d love to analyze the particulars with you.

So I’m still around, just not on the computer as much as I once was.  Daphne and I are eating eggs and spilling peas on the counter and laughing the whole time.

I’m late getting to the cool TV shows, so by the time I’m watching them on Netflix and totally enthused you guys are already finished and don’t want to read my thoughts on them.  I get that.  Recent examples where I’ve had a lot to say and practically nobody in blogland to say it to: Battlestar Galactica, Friday Night Lights and now Felicity.

BUT I am watching Downton Abbey as it’s being aired on PBS so now we can all discuss!  It will be fun.

• I’m not really digging the second season as much as the first.  I barely care about Lady Mary and Matthew; I still haven’t forgiven Lady Edith for kissing a married man; Matthew’s mother is desperate where last season she was strong-willed and funny.  There’s just not a whole lot of people on there I care about.
• They’ve been lazy when writing Thomas’ character.  Everyone else has some dimension but Thomas is just unlikable.  I want the villain to have a bit more humanity.
• Maggie Smith is awesome.  Let’s see some of her best lines.  My favorite: “Don’t be defeatist, dear.  It’s very middle-class”:

I watch an adorable little boy–I’ll call him Baby  W. to protect his sweet identity, even though most of you know him–1-1/2 days each week.  It’s a nice arrangement: just enough time to break up our week and give Daphne someone other than me to interact with, but not too much time that I can’t run my errands or clean my house or see friends.

The best part of watching Baby W. is seeing my daughter love on him.  When he gets here in the morning she hurries over and rubs his back and kisses his head.  Then she follows him around with an empty bottle and shoves it in his mouth, because if the bottle is available then it should be used.

Might I tempt you with a bottle, the contents of which have already been consumed?

Sometimes I find them having these baby conversations without words.  This morning she was tilting her head and nodding at him while making sounds that she thinks are actual words but aren’t, and he responded by flapping his arms.

Babies can hurt you with their cuteness.

Gideon was still playing with age-appropriate trains and toddler toys when we took a walk around the neighborhood and he pointed his “boom stick”–a tiny curved tree limb, barely in the shape of a gun–at objects and made the sound of them exploding as his arm jolted upward from the imaginary recoil.  I’m still not sure where he got the idea for that.  The most violence he’d seen up to that point on TV was when Thomas the Tank Engine ran through the buffers and oil splattered everywhere as his eyes spun in circles from the surprise.  Obviously this was well before his love for Spider-Man and Transformers..

Friday afternoon Neighbor Boy called and said he had a surprise for Gideon.  We stopped at Neighbor Boy’s grandparents’ house on our walk and Gideon was gifted with a very nice, homemade pretend gun carved from wood, made by Neighbor’s Boy’s grandpa.  It even came with a holster.  Then Neighbor Boy and Gideon fought off the bad guys in the neighborhood with their matching guns to protect Mia’s heart.  Very cute.

Saturday morning Neighbor Boy ran to our house and brought another very nice homemade pretend gun carved from wood, this time for Mia.  So Sunday afternoon I asked them to make thank you cards for Neighbor Boy’s Grandpa.  They made the sweetest cards, told him he’s “awesome,” with people at the bottom of the page, smiling as they point guns at each other.

I don’t think they understand guns yet.

“She is a great phone talker.  She could call me every day.  And I would answer.”

-Hubby, after his grandma very sweetly wished me a happy birthday then got off the phone without any small talk.

I’m totally fascinated by the poor souls who currently work at CBS’ Early Show.  Emphasis on currently, because today is their last day.  I wanted to watch the day after the announcement of their mutual sacking (except for one lucky [?] girl), because what do you say?  How do you go on air and smile and act like nothing’s wrong, but you know you’ve been fired and all of your audience knows you’ve been fired, and people who were never your audience (me) know you’ve been fired, but you still have to report on the wars and the Presidential hopefuls and the Kardashians?  As Mia would say, “1-2-3 AWKWARD!”

But I forgot.  I’m not a big morning TV person to begin with and sleep choked my desire to get up early.  I did finally remember to turn it on the day after the Iowa caucuses but it was too uncomfortable to watch for more than five minutes.  Most people who get fired don’t have to stay at their job for another few weeks, and they certainly don’t have to wrestle with the panic of finding a new job  and bemoaning, “Why me?  Why wasn’t I good enough?  And GAYLE KING?  Are you serious?” while sitting in front of a TV camera.  When their potential next employer is watching.  Yikes.

Last night I was watching The Mentalist when a CBS ad came on.  Construction guys were headed in and out of a building site with the words “Excuse the mess.  We’re building a better morning show.”  Even if unintentional, the “Excuse the mess” really seemed to reference the morning personalities already in place.  And obviously the CBS bosses think they’re a mess because they’re redoing the entire show and not letting them stay on.  But wasn’t it a little uncouth to call them a mess?  Methinks yes.  I mean, they’re already leaving.  Give the poor souls some dignity on the way out.

For a while there was a picture floating around Pinterest of a girl with thick gray socks peeking over the top of her brown boots. I wanted to copy so I went to T.J. Maxx and bought a few pairs of thick knee high socks but it has never looked the same; my socks are too thin and don’t bunch enough at the knee.  Then over Christmas my sister-in-law Ang asked if any of us sisters-in-law had worn legwarmers with our boots.  That’s how to get that cute look.  Have any of you tried it?  It would be much cheaper than buying lots of thick socks cuz you could wear the same legwarmers day after day.  They won’t cling to your sweaty feet (and thereby need washing) like socks.  It’d be a nice way to add some trendiness to my closet while trying to not buy new clothes.  You can see my ideas here.  There might be a Target run in my almost-immediate future.

Also, how do you feel about red lipstick?  I really like it but can never find the perfect shade.  A few years ago I wore a freebie my mom gave me from Estee Lauder and looking back I think I love it.  Last week I bought off Mia with candy to come with me and buy some red lipstick from Wal-Mart.  When I got home and put it on Mia said, “No way.  Too dark.  Like a vampire.”  I hope I don’t look like a vampire when I wear it because I want to wear it everyday.  It’s the blue-ish red that looks good with my pale skin.  I need something to perk up my look because I’m still having a difficult time with my short hair.  I think it’s a cute cut, but it’s still not me.  Every time I look in the mirror I’m surprised by how short it is.  Anyway, look how cute this girl is with her red lipstick.