While maternal health is one of the social issues I care about most, the “No Mother’s Day” Campaign (created by Every Mother Counts and supermodel Christy Turlington) just makes me sad. Not to mention, I’m a bit frustrated at such a lost opportunity.

The campaign asks mothers to refuse to respond to phone calls, texts, e-mails or update social media status on this lovely Mothers Day. From an article in the Daily Beast, Christy explains:

“We’re asking mothers to refrain from such communication for one day to remember the thousands of mothers who have been forever silenced unnecessarily due to complications with pregnancy or childbirth.” 

Let’s think about this for a moment. If a bunch of American guys were to get fired up about a major injustice happening to men in developing countries, I doubt they would ask their buddies to emotionally withdraw on Father’s Day as their sole campaign strategy. Just sayin’…

Often people with a lot of money or fame have wonderful intentions. Sometimes they just really want to make a difference and are willing to lend their face for the sake of social progress. But I really wish they would think through their efforts and use their power and influence to do something with lasting impact.

But bringing silence to an already swept-under-the-rug issue? And asking women to refuse loving communications from their families because other women have died during childbirth? I don’t get how either one positively changes anything.

I find martyrdom to be a concerning approach to social change. And there is something very wrong with attempting to match people’s pain as a way to inspire world healing.

For those of us with privilege (and this is you to some degree, assuming you have running water and live on more than $2 per day), start by recognizing it. Then use your privilege for good. Utilize your votes, your freedom and your checkbook to be the advocate for people who need it most.

And by all means, DO NOT BE SILENT!

On this Mother’s Day, if you care about maternal mortality then ask for donations to the nonprofit Saving Mothers. Donate your Facebook or Twitter status to make your request. Get educated on the issue, then talk to your friends about it. Get them as riled up as you are. Volunteer your time to help organizations working towards making childbirth safer for women across the globe. Do something, grow something, start something…

Throw down Gandhi style and BE the change!

I know I’ll be calling my mom tomorrow (the two of us pictured above) to show my gratitude for the choices she made and the examples she set, which inspired me to become the woman I am today.

If you are a mom, please accept that phone call from someone you mothered. And when they inevitably say “THANK YOU” please know that just being a woman who gave maternal compassion to another is itself a world-changing act of love.

Happy Mother’s Day.

1. On days you think your big idea might not take flight because it’s moving too damn slow, remember this: Caterpillars crawl before they grow wings and fly.

2. When you’re backed in a corner with no way out, fight the urge for a dramatic escape. Stop, sit, breathe and touch the wall. Is it made of stone (and you’re meant to stay for awhile) or paper? (time to bust down some walls!)

3. If your beliefs aren’t popular, don’t back down to criticism. What worked in the past might be yesterday’s news. Perhaps it’s time to tell a new story.

4. Should someone leave a box on your doorstep with dog crap in it, don’t get mad. Even nasty presents can sometimes be the best gifts.

5. When people feel threatened, they attempt to squelch light with darkness. In the end, only they get burned. Do yourself a favor and SHINE ON.

Yesterday I made a big announcement on social media: I am launching a new company. It’s a speakers bureau called Evoso (a made-up word, blending evolution + social), and we represent thought leaders on social change.

Our motto: Speak your truth. Change your world.

I fiercely believe in the power of the spoken word as a tool for making this world a better place. Given my decade of experience in the speaking industry, it almost seems silly it took me this long to come around and realize this was my next thing.

More to come on Evoso later, as we get closer to our official launch. I really only shared it with the world now, because I have some serious hiring to do in order to make the big vision of Evoso come to fruition (see job posting here). To find good people quickly, it’s smart to utilize your networks. And efficiency is key for me right now, since I’m about 6 weeks away from having a baby.

Some people who read my announcement asked how I have the time to launch a new venture with a baby on the way. It’s a fair question – and one I certainly asked myself: “Really Weed, is this such a good time?”

My answer: Oh hell yes.

Why? Because I gave up on the concept of perfect timing quite awhile ago. Now I have a trust in divine time – that things will happen when they are intended to, even when it seems inconvenient.

Is there something in your life you’ve been putting off for this reason? Maybe because the car broke down, or someone got sick, or you just got promoted at work, or there’s a big event coming up, or you’re waiting for the holidays to be over, or…GASP! Maybe these are just excuses to delay our own greatness?!!

When things flow, they flow…you can fight the tide or catch the wave. You know what this feels like. Evoso blasted off so fast and furious, I doubt I could stop this freight train if I tried. The weird thing is launching this new venture has been one of the easier things I’ve attempted in my ten years as a social entrepreneur. I have a theory as to why this is…

Following your path – even when it’s challenging – is a whole lot easier than forcing something that isn’t meant to be.

Yeah, I can barely fit through doorways and meetings are constantly cut short due to my embarrassingly tiny bladder…but surfs up dude, this wave is killer!

Benjamin Franklin once said, “You may delay, but time will not.”

Well said Ben. I agree – life is short – let’s do this.

Many times over the past decade, folks have reached out to me asking, “How do I start a business or organization that changes the world?”  It’s a good question, and you’ll be relieved to know that launching or growing something isn’t so hard if you have a framework for success.

I’ve been working on an e-book for about a year that I call the EcoSystem of Change. I’m very close to being finished – woo hoo! This e-book will take you through the 12 steps for building an organization that makes a social impact in your life, your work, your community and in our world. It’s a simple, effective guide for social entrepreneurs, volunteers, corporate employees or really anyone wanting to leave this planet a little bit better than we found it.

If you’d like to receive the FREE e-book in your inbox once it’s ready, please sign up at http://ecosystemofchange.com.

It’s best explained via the animated video below, followed by a short segment from a speech I gave a few weeks ago at the 2012 Conscious Capitalism Conference. Hope you dig it, and please post on your fave social networks if you think it might help or inspire someone…

The people have spoken. Girls Fight Back has been named 2012 Best Speaker/Program by Campus Activities Magazine! You basically gave us an Oscar of the college speaking world, and to my knowledge, this is the first time a team of speakers won the award (as opposed to an individual).

To really slather on some delicious icing on that happy cake, all you voters accomplished this after I wrote a blog post back in December telling you not to vote for us. It seems our fans are quite rebellious, and I am so humbled by you taking the time to cast a ballot.

I’m also incredibly grateful for my stellar team of speakers who made this possible. They are beautiful, bad-ass fight girls who traveled countless miles on hundreds of airplanes and rocked stages nationwide. Together our team teaches women some snazzy self-defense moves and serve as a reminder to females everywhere that we are WORTH FIGHTING FOR! (I’m lookin’ at you, Megan Ellis, Heather Maggs and Bree Swartz.)

After achieving something so monumental, one starts to ponder…now what?

It’s brutal honesty time. Leading up to our amazing news, I’d been at that critical place where most Founders of companies/organizations find themselves at some point. Do we grow? Do we simply maintain, and just rock what we’re good at? We’ve been around 10 years – that’s a long flippin’ time – is our work done here?

Recently I was presented with a business opportunity that was forcing a decision sooner than later. So I did the only logical thing, and headed to Jimmy John’s to ponder this mega-dilemma over a delicious Turkey Tom. Chomping away, I thought to myself “I wonder what Shannon would do…”

(Note: Shannon McNamara is my friend who was murdered in 2001, and is the angel who inspired Girls Fight Back.)

In the following moment, a text message dinged on my iPhone. It was from Shannon’s only sibling – her brother Bobby. More than a typical “hi” message, it was a photo of an ultrasound accompanied by news he would soon become a father.

A new life in the McNamara family is such a blessing, and yet another bittersweet reminder of the one who is so sorely missed. I couldn’t help but think what an amazing auntie Shannon would have been.

To me, babies symbolize so many things. Life. Growth. Hard work. Change. Hope. New beginnings. Bobby’s text message (and the eerily perfect timing of it) was a message from Shannon saying it’s time to bring something new to the world.

I couldn’t agree more.

Stay tuned for a big announcement coming soon…

Below is a post written by Chicago gal Bree Swartz, the newest addition to the Girls Fight Back speaker team. She’s a rock star, and she’s been in training for close to a year. Yesterday she hit the road, in what will be a whirlwind spring tour across the USA along with me and our East coast super-speaker, Heather Maggs. In case you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work for GFB and be a speaker in general, Bree offers you a first-hand account. Enjoy!

I’m not a planner. Some might consider this a fault, but I like to think of it as adventurous. And honestly, I can’t help myself because over the years the events and moments that are the most unexpected are nearly, if not always, the milestones that define me. I now realize that my involvement with Girls Fight Back is no exception.

Last summer as I was flipping through Craigslist ads, I stumbled across a post for a job to travel around the states speaking to high schools and colleges and teaching basic self defense. Huh. That sounds fun, I thought. Traveling, I love. Motivational speaking has always been a job I thought I might be decent at if I had anything awesome to say. And I’ve always wanted to take a self defense class! Sure, why not submit my resume? Little did I know…

Fast forward through four interview stages, video submissions, a couple 500-word essays and a three-day self defense class (just to get accepted into the training program), I’m sitting on a plane headed to Boulder, Colorado for my Academy Training to become a speaker for Girls Fight Back. So many things were running through my mind: Had I studied the material thoroughly? What kind of self defense training was I getting myself into? What was this cabin in the mountains we were retreating to like? (AMAZING!) But the thought of ‘what are these people going to be like?’ surprisingly never really crossed my mind. Yet again, the unexpected was the best part.

My first encounter of the warm-hearted GFB team was the minute I landed in Boulder. Jenn, a mentor to the program and my ride to the cabin, called to tell me she was waiting at the baggage claim for me. Really? That’s an awfully nice gesture. I would’ve been pleased with a pick up outside, but parking and coming to greet me? How thoughtful! Maybe this group isn’t a bunch of crazy men haters.

The next afternoon I met the man who has the gentlest soul, and yet, the meanest growl I’ve ever heard (literally!), Bill Kipp, founder of FAST Defense. He’s a genius in the field of adrenaline response self defense. Aside from knowing every physical aspect of the trade, he makes himself a genuine expert by understanding beyond the theory of his methods: how our bodies and brains work under adrenal response, understanding predators strategy when hunting their prey, fighting asymmetrically vs. symmetrically…the list goes on. With 24-plus years experience in adrenaline combat, you would expect Bill to be this crazy drill sergeant. And although he plays a mean mugger, my favorite trait about Bill is his compassion.

There is so much emotion in his learning environment: sometimes it brought me to tears, sometimes is brought me to laughter, but it was always empowering; not something you find in your everyday fighting machine. He was so understanding of each individual’s situation, I felt like I knew him for years. This, I’m sure, is what makes him not just a good teacher, but a guru… his passion for his work and the people he encounters is inspirational. To hear him laugh with joy after he takes in the technique he just taught (say a palm strike to his head or an extended kick to the groin), you know this man absolutely loves teaching people to defend themselves, even at his own expense. In a mere few days, Bill gave me several invaluable gifts that I’m so very grateful for, but most of all, that of a mentor and friend.

But it’s the founder of GFB, and the most un-pregnant knocked up lady I have ever met, (no joke – I am embarrassed to admit how many times she opened doors for me and dropped me off while she went to park the car), who I am in debt to for introducing me to her wonderful crew. I knew Erin Weed and I had to work together after I left my interview last fall; I called my mom as soon as I left our meeting: “I legit have to hang out with this chick. She’s so bad ass.” And my thoughts were confirmed the minute Erin walked into the door for day one of our training. “Alright everyone, give me some love,” this 5 month pregnant CEO sang. Not exactly a back breaker of a boss.

Anyone who knows Erin will most likely agree that her core values are seen in the way she runs her company. Comfortingly, they remind me of the way I was raised in small town Indiana: The Golden Rule, treat others how you want to be treated, even when others aren’t following the rule. Honest and forward, no room for drama or BS. If you’re going to do a job, you might as well do it excellent (I think that was “do it right” when I was growing up, but in all fairness, my parents were just hoping I’d do my dishes) Self care is part of your job; you don’t benefit anyone if you’re not at your best.

In a nutshell, this is how Erin confidently carries herself, her company and the rest of our training.  She guided us through our intense speaker training often leading by example, not willing to put us through anything she wouldn’t do, even in her second trimester of pregnancy. She was always noting how it can turn into chaos when you forget where you’re at on stage or something isn’t working, but it doesn’t matter. “It’s always about them, never about you.” So selfless, which is rare in the world.

By the end of our speaker training, I felt blessed. Blessed to be learning from such amazing mentors, to be able to grow as a person with the guidance from these noble people. Blessed to be carrying on the legacy, and it IS a legacy, of an organization in honor of a dear friend whose life will touch so many people, just as it has mine. And certainly blessed to be able to take on the role of empowering women by teaching basic skills that could save their own life someday.

Our academy training came to a close and I sat absolutely thrilled having a celebratory dinner with icons in the self defense and entrepreneurship world. I’m certain I was comparable to that annoying girl in class who is constantly raising her hand with umpteen hundred questions. I just didn’t want to miss the opportunity for all that it was worth. I can’t get enough of people like Erin, Bill, Jenn and the rest of the crew at GFB whose energy is absolutely contagious.

The GFB Academy had been so much more than just training. It was a milestone. And whenever I think back to these unplanned moments that have shaped me into the person I am today, I vividly remember  the people –the friends, family, mentors, competitors, supporters, teammates, etc- are what truly made it such a memory. My training with GFB was no different.

So thank you Erin and the rest of the GFB team, for welcoming me into your family. And for this unexpected milestone in my life.  I am forever grateful.

This week we conducted the third Girls Fight Back University to train new speaker apprentices. These trainings are intense, giving future speakers the tools to fight and the ability to communicate this life-saving information from the stage.

It’s a terrifying blend of identifying our own fears of what we are capable of, and confronting external fears of what others are capable of doing to us.

There is no scenario we don’t put these gals through in both settings. From the stage: hecklers, intense emotional responses to our message, haters, fire alarms and other random outbursts that most public speakers fear. On the mat: rapists, stalkers, killers, multiple assailants, knives, guns.

The women who train with us are the bravest of the brave – and even braver than that. They look these challenges in the face, and with determination, rise above. Sometimes they cry, sometimes it takes a few tries, but they always overcome.

Being a Founder of something as special as Girls Fight Back has always been sacred to me. Sometimes people mistake me for being an inspiring person that started GFB to save the world. Instead, I was a terrified person that lost a friend to homicide, and felt pretty lost myself. Girls Fight Back was a gift laid at my feet. I chose to accept it, and am so glad I did.

Recently I did a magazine interview, and the journalist asked me what I am most proud of. So many people, events and special moments flooded my mind, it was hard to pick. But I settled on the fact that GFB has become so much bigger than me, and so much bigger than Shannon. (my friend who was murdered, and the inspiration for everything we do)

While Shannon and I were the roots of GFB, our speakers give it wings.

Watching the new apprentices practice our material with their own individual flair is a reminder that despite being around for 10 years, GFB is timeless. As long as violence persists, there will be women who are sick of living in fear, who want to take their power back and live a generally awesome life.

I am so glad I accepted this gift a decade ago. And nothing brings me greater joy than to re-gift it to women everywhere, through our amazing team. Congratulations Bree and Angie (pictured above, with our self-defense guru Bill Kipp) on your tremendous work this week.

If you are interested in booking a Girls Fight Back presentation at your school, college or business, please call us at 1-866-432-2423 for more details.

This week I made an impromptu trip to Los Angeles for a funeral. The wife of my mentor, Bob Martin, unexpectedly passed away in her sleep. Without a second thought, I flew to California to support him and attend the memorial service.

Bob’s wife was a lovely woman named Babette Marie Martin. She raised 3 awesome children and loved Elvis.

Her eulogy was a short letter written by Bob, read aloud to the audience by a friend. Then Amazing Grace began playing, with an accompanying video of Il Dovo performing live at the coliseum in Rome.

Bob is a former Captain of the Los Angeles Police Department, VP of Gavin de Becker & Associates and an internationally known expert on threat assessment and violence prevention. This guy has the talent, knowledge and ability to inspire a crowd to laugh, to cry and to understand humanity a little more – all in the same speech. The fact he opted to share just a few words and feature a single song for his life partner’s final memoriam seemed simple, yet profound.

And so it was.

Because life is just that – a song. It’s a melody that has highs and lows, a perfect harmony when we join our life with another, a bass line that varies between steady and irregular as life quickens and calms, and an occasional guitar solo when it’s our time to take center stage and shine, shine, shine. Sometimes our song is hard rock, other times classical.

But the main thing that guides music is TIME.

For all of us, time is ticking like a metronome’s steady beat. When life is over, we fade into silence. But the band marches on. The music continues. It’s just someone else’s solo…another generation’s song.

As I left the cemetery, I didn’t feel the darkness of death. Somehow, the air felt lighter. Angels were everywhere. Hope abounded.

I was so moved by Bob for knowing his wife so well and loving her so much, that words weren’t necessary to summarize her impact on the world and the family they built together.

Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Bob has taught me a lot over the past decade as my mentor. But yesterday he offered me a new lesson, similar to Ms. Angelou’s message.

A life truly lived cannot be adequately eulogized with words.

As a friend and I drove away from the memorial service and merged onto the freeway, we realized our status as legal carpoolers (a big deal for LA folks) and took full advantage of the less trafficked carpool lane. But soon I realized I had to get out of the carpool zone and across several lanes of traffic to catch our next exit.

Quick driving lesson for anyone who gets behind the wheel in LA: This maneuver is NOT legal if there are 2 yellow lines on the pavement. I learned this fun fact via flashing lights in my rearview mirror, and a LAPD officer pulling me over across 5 lanes of traffic to tell me so.

I don’t have good odds when it comes to cops and traffic violations. Historically I have been ticketed to the fullest extent, in 100% of the occurrences I’ve been pulled over. Thinking today would be no different; I gave the officer my driver’s license and car rental information and answered all his questions.

This time I definitely had some pity cards to whip out, including being a crunchy out-of-state Coloradan, visibly pregnant and traveling with another gal even more visibly pregnant than me. (We both stuck out our stomachs as far as possible when he approached the car. Worth a shot, right?)

He asked where we were coming from, and I told him a funeral. The officer took all my documents and went back to his car for a few minutes. I quasi-jokingly told my co-pilot that any cop who gives a ticket to two pregnant women driving home from a cemetery would surely go to hell.

He came back to the car and gave me a warning. Wow, seriously? Awesome! I thought warnings were only given to people who can cry on cue or have really big boobs. (I possess neither.)

Points scored for the LAPD. The officer was so kind, and even gave us directions back to the freeway with a nod and a smile.

Later that evening, I couldn’t help but think the highs and lows of the day were more than just going through the rituals of death and brushes with the law. Yes, there was something else at work.

It was amazing grace.

Grace gives us the freedom to really live, the liberation to help us die, the patience to drive in Los Angeles during rush hour, the empathy to know when someone needs a break and the motivation to leave this world a little better than we found it.

I depart California with a mortal reminder that none of us know when our song will be over.  So live the life you were intended to, and sing your bloody guts out.

This post is dedicated to the memory of Babette Martin and all who loved her.
Published with the permission of Bob Martin.

While a new year encourages serious self-critique and making lists of things to change, I just wanted to provide a friendly reminder that you are already perfect.

Oprah once said, “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” She implies we’ve been getting it wrong, and granted, some years are better than others. But if you think about it, common resolutions like making money, finding “happiness” or losing weight aren’t about us. They are about how we think the world wants us to be. Rich, happy and hot. (and often quite empty…)

The re-set button we call New Years should be less about improving what has been, and more about what is. What do we really want and why are we really here? What does happiness even mean to us?

This week I swept the love of my life to the mountains for a few days. I recommend a mind-clearing getaway like this, regardless if you are single or have a partner, at least twice a year. Amidst parenthood, work, life, stress, family – there was a lot of catching up to do, even though we spend so much time together. Furthermore, there were realizations about myself that were only possible to be revealed in the crisp stillness you find early in the morning, at 12,000 feet, accompanied by the soundtrack of Clear Creek rushing below our hotel balcony. (A photo of my view as I write this is posted above.)

In peace, there are answers.

This year I’m going to take my own advice from a previous blog post to get organized, clear and focused. But beyond that, my new years resolution for 2012 is to live an authentic life. According to Dictionary.com, the meaning of the word authentic is: not false or copied; genuine; real. These are the lives we are meant to lead, not to be a carbon copy of someone else or a life that someone else wants you to live.

So on the eve of another chance to get it right, answer this. What true purpose have you been ignoring? What life change has been nagging at you, but seems too terrifying or inconvenient to acknowledge? What truth has gone unacknowledged, or unsaid? How can you live more authentically this year?

Jazz legend Chuck Mangione once said, “A studio recording is perfection, but emotion and passion come only when you turn on the machine and go for the groove. If you do that with no mistakes, it sounds beautiful.”

In 2012 and beyond, I wish for you the stillness necessary to seek your truth, abundant self-permission to live your life and a jammin’ bassline to keep your groove.

Change absolutely fascinates me, and people, organizations and companies who seem to get it right have a few things in common. They have effective, simple systems in place. They know who they are, and who they are not. Armed with this well-oiled machine and unshakable confidence, successful folks develop laser beam focus on what they want to achieve.

So how can you apply this knowledge to your resolutions this year, to ensure a rockin’ 2012? Try doing the following three things before you write down how much money you want to make, or how much weight you want to lose. (And if possible, take an entire day to focus on each area.)

1. Get organized.
Clear out the inbox. Sift through the mail pile. Donate crap with reckless abandon. Go through your credit card statements and know where your dollars have gone. Get real on how you spend your time. (I use a time tracker tool in Basecamp.) Get rid of clothes you don’t wear, tupperware containers with no top, rotting food in the fridge, etc. Make a list of what’s not workin’ for ya, and next to each, write a few solutions. Pare down, simplify and own your space. Remember, space is mental, physical and emotional – reclaim it all.

2. Get clear.
There are many reasons people fail in life, in love, at work – but the most common explanation is simply not taking the time to get certain about who we are and what we want. If you have no destination, any road will do. And because of this, it’s easy to become a random wanderer – just chasing the closest shiny object. Take the time this year to answer this simple, yet difficult, question: What do you want from 2012? Now write it down.

3. Get focused.
Now that your space is clear and your clarity is back, it’s time to create a plan. Ideal plans should include goals (measurements for success), strategies (best ways to get there), action steps (tasks to be completed), responsible parties (who’s gonna do it?) and deadlines (when is it due by?) Now make it stick by entering this info into a planning tool like Basecamp or Google calendar to keep you on schedule. Do the whole year at once, because let’s be serious – you won’t come back to it later.

Do these three things in order, since you can’t get clarity without organization, and you can’t get focused without clarity. Avoid getting overwhelmed this year. Make success simpler to define, and it will be easier to attain. Here’s to a bumpin’ 2012, amigos…you got this!