I have some very exciting news to share, after literally months of secret talks…Girls Fight Back is now officially represented by CAMPUSPEAK for all our Greek Life programs! Let me give you a little history on why this is such a big deal. (Read more on the CAMPUSPEAK website.)

After the murder of Shannon McNamara in 2001, I started intense self-defense training and got certified to teach it. I didn’t really know what to DO with all this training though, so I started teaching weekly classes at a bar across the street from my house. (Hugs and kisses to Mario at The Bar at 10th and Willow in Hoboken, NJ!) Those classes filled quickly and the buzz about this new and fun approach to women’s self-defense grew. I was a speech communication major in college, so it was a somewhat natural path to take what I’d learned to the stage. When I was a college student, I brought TJ Sullivan and Joel Goldman to Eastern Illinois University – they gave the most incredible presentation called Friendship in the Age of AIDS. After they stopped touring, TJ (along with his business partner, the hilarious David Stollman) launched the first speakers agency dedicated to issues based speakers in the college market – and CAMPUSPEAK was born. I called TJ to see if I could get on the roster. Thinking he was getting rid of me (at least this is how I imagine it), TJ told me to give a presentation, videotape it and mail it to him. I imagine this hefty task deters most speakers, but clearly TJ had no idea the stalker girl he was dealing with. (Now he does, and thankfully he appreciates my persistence.)

Soon after, I was invited back to Eastern Illinois University by the amazing Bob Dudolski (Greek Life Director at EIU at the time) as a speaker to give the first-ever GFB presentation. As I peeked at the packed ballroom from behind the curtain, I quickly did the math and realized over 1,000 people must have been there. That’s when I started to panic, and began questioning my judgment to videotape my very first gig as an audition tape. But once I got on stage, I was having too much fun to be scared, and it was a huge hit. I reviewed the video the following day and wanted to die. Ever see yourself on video? Yeah, me too – and from where I was standing, it wasn’t pretty. But I sent it to TJ the following day and he called upon receiving it. He offered me a contract to join their roster and that was the beginning of Girls Fight Back. I have a list of people that I feel such tremendous gratitude for, and TJ Sullivan is at the top. Who gives a 23 year old this kind of opportunity, when no one else had ever succcessfully spoken about women’s safety on the college circuit before? Well TJ did and I won’t soon forget it. Thank you.

I spent about 5 awesome years (2002-2007) with CAMPUSPEAK and then experienced some growing pains that required having a staff of my own. I departed CAMPUSPEAK in 2007, and after 3 years of crazy growth and change, we’re back. And we’ve multiplied, now that GFB has 4 amazing speakers who have since joined the team. No one does college speakers like CAMPUSPEAK, and that brings us to today.

To be clear, Bass Schuler Entertainment is still representing us in the campus programming (NACA) market. Both CAMPUSPEAK and Bass Schuler (specifically Scott Bass and Chris Schuler) have been true professionals in this entire process. It’s been like really boring missile treaty talks, because no one is getting upset or threatening to bomb each other. The talks were just a formality and a drama-free process of setting professional boundaries. If you’re familiar with the tiny world of higher ed, you know it’s highly unusual for a program to be represented by two different agencies and even more rare for there not to be drama surrounding a dual partnership like this. How refreshing to work with people so dedicated to the end goal of empowering students to become their own best protectors! Thank you all – especially Liz, Felix, Amy and Darci over at CAMPUSPEAK who worked to pull all the materials together for today’s big launch.

Well I hope you enjoyed this little history lesson. If you are a student or staff with Fraternity and Sorority Life and would like to add your campus to the 2010 Fall Tour, please contact CAMPUSPEAK at 303.745.5545. Or visit them on the web by clicking here. If you work in Student Life/Campus Programming then give Bass Schuler a call to get this party started. You can reach them at 773.481.2600 or visit them online by clicking here.  If all this has left you feeling woefully confused, just call GFB directly at 1-866-432-2423 and we’ll show you the light.

Over the years many people have asked me how to publish a book, and there are 2 main ways. You can get a literary agent, who will then shop it around to major publishers. Or, you can publish it yourself. I have experience publishing both ways. After getting a big-time book deal with a major publisher at age 26, I was sued by my book agent. Yeah, it was about as awesome as it sounds. (Long story, but lesson learned: Never sign a contract without hiring an attorney.) Deeply scarred by the experience, I became a Learning Annex stalker, signing up for seminars across the USA on the topic of writing and self-publishing. Finally after 2 years of publishing obsession, 3,000 books arrived at my office in 2005. They sold…fast! So I published a second edition in 2007. Later I licensed the rights to DK Publishing, and the same book I self-published will be released via Pearson Education later this year.

Publishing yourself and working with a major publisher are both challenging in their own ways. In another post I can get deeper into this, but for now I wanted to give people who have decided to self-publish a general idea how to do it, complete with individuals that I recommend hiring for the project. While the bullet points below will help get you going, also read a book called “The Self-Publishing Manual” by Dan Poynter. Dan is an awesome guy – I have seen him speak several times and his book was my bible for about 2 years. I was a sweaty-palmed wreck when I got to meet him back in 2004, because I idolized him so much. He often speaks at The Learning Annex and similar programs like that around the world. Knowledge is power, and this entire process will go smoother (and you’ll save money) if you can speak the language of self-publishing and get things right the first time.

So here’s the basic 3 steps to getting a book published on your own…

STEP #1: EDIT – After your manuscript is done, send it to a trusted editor. My friend Nancy Colasurdo was my editor, and she is based in Hoboken, NJ. She’s a columnist for FoxNews.com, a life coach and a writer…not to mention an amazing person. Nancy wrote a piece about me for Ladies Home Journal, which is why I thought to ask her to edit my book. (You may do the same, if you really liked how a journalist wrote about you in the past. Your editor needs to “get you.”) For the sake of the people who will read your book, do not skip this step. Typos suck. Contact Nancy via her website: http://nancola.com

STEP #2: DESIGN – My book was designed by Peri Poloni Gabriel. She’s been designing books for years, is super professional and based in Naperville, IL. Please note – a graphic designer is not the same as a book designer! Book designers know exactly how to format the book cover and interior to meet the specifications of publishers.  Peri can hook you up with UPC codes and ISBN numbers, which is a total pain to do on your own. I recommend getting a UPC and ISBN # even if you don’t plan to sell it in stores in the immediate future. You never know if you might be interested in getting it distributed down the line, and having both are essential if you go that route. Contact Peri via her website: http://knockoutbooks.com or call 630-718-0861.

STEP #3: PRINT – I used Sandy Gould at Color House Graphics in Michigan to print both editions of my book, after researching this excessively. They were fast, reliable and reasonably priced. When you’re ready to pull the trigger, you’ll also need to submit a RFQ (request for quotation), which basically explains what you’re looking for in regards to paper stock, book size, number of pages, etc. Refer to Dan’s Self-Publishing Manual for examples of RFQs.  Contact Sandy at the Color House Graphics website: http://colorhousegraphics.com or call 800-454-1916.

Hope this helps some aspiring authors out there…it’s not easy, but you can do it! And I can tell you, it’s a very proud moment when those big boxes arrive from the publisher. I wept when mine were delivered. Seriously.

Click here if you’d like to buy a copy of my book Girls Fight Back! The College Girl’s Guide to Protecting Herself. Books purchased will be autographed by me personally, making each copy worth millions of dollars on eBay. *LOL*

Well it’s July, and I couldn’t be happier about it. If you’ve been following my posts in June, you know it’s always a rough month for me. Every June I’m coming down after a crazy spring semester of speaking, plus it’s emotionally heavy being the death anniversary of Shannon, and also her birthday. But you gotta love the universe, because it gives you what you need to hear. Today I met a woman named Mia, who is a gorgeous, successful entrepreneur here in Denver. We were talking about my difficulties in June and she told me that June 21st was the summer solstice, and is apparently the longest day of the year and widely celebrated around the globe. It’s also Shannon’s birthday. I researched it on the internet, and many religions celebrate June 21st as the “wedding of Heaven and Earth” resulting in the present day belief of a “lucky” wedding in June. I find this so interesting, because Girls Fight Back has always been a merging of heaven and earth, and I’ve often referred to Shannon as my boss, crackin’ the whip from above…

I think it’s okay for us to sometimes just walk away for a bit, fall apart for awhile if need be, and come back stronger and smarter and more determined than ever to live an incredible life. That’s where I’m at today, and I have arrived here largely through gratitude. I’ve been thinking about the incredible people, opportunities and experiences I’ve been given in my life. My family, for starters…really, I couldn’t be more blessed on that front. To have people who have believed in me and propped me up, especially my husband Peter Lacis @peterlacis. In general, I marvel at the incredible men that have graced my 32 years on this earth. Health is our greatest gift as humans, and it’s something that my family and I have enjoyed. (I send strong vibes to many friends of mine who are dealing with health challenges right now, or who have lost a loved one.) And children! How grateful I am for my 10-month-old son Miles. He’s given me the gift of seeing the world through an entirely new set of eyes. Miles laughs insanely at my pug’s face sometimes. And then you look at the pug and realize, “My God, you’re right! She’s the funniest looking creature in the world!” And I laugh with him.

I am also so grateful for my team @girlsfightback. The past 12 months of growth and expansion have been the most terrifying and most inspiring times…sometimes I feel both in the same day. Recently I looked around and realized Girls Fight Back has become what it was intended…to be much bigger than Shannon and WAY bigger than me. We are celebrating this fact by launching a new website soon. And guess what? If you’ve never seen the Girls Fight Back program, soon you can watch it. For free. Online. All 100 minutes of it. Then hopefully you’ll send the link to all your friends. Some of my business comrades think I’m nuts to “give it away” but isn’t that why we are here?  To help each other?  Why withhold that? (I’m grateful to my friend David Meerman Scott @dmscott for inspiring this.) I hope watching the program online energizes someone to be strong when they feel weak, to stand up when they just want to shrink, or to change the world when it would be so much easier just to stick with the status quo.

My friends, life is good. We are here for a reason. You are loved.

Thank you for your support and may every day be your solstice.

Every year, Sharon Rickerson (dear friend of the McNamara family) writes a beautiful piece on Shannon’s birthday. See below – it’s lovely, as always. Thanks for all you do Sharon, to make this day a little less bitter and more sweet.

Shannon Elizabeth McNamara
June 21, 1979 – Forever

Her name has an Irish wholesome, athletic sound. And she was like her name. Grand like the river that flows through the Emerald Isle. Natural, inspiring and beautiful! Shannon means Wise One, and she truly was. The Bible says wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. That was Shannon. She was a quiet leader, highly esteemed among her peers. Her life lived well enthused others and it still does today. It was her mother’s prayer when she left our world that she would never be forgotten. And that prayer was answered even before she was born. When Shannon was knit together in her mother’s womb God made an absolutely unforgettable person. Her loving heart, her beautiful face and the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed remain etched in our memories.

It was her exuberant love of life as well as her fight to live that inspired friend and sorority sister, Erin Weed in a mission to educate and empower women of all ages in personal safety and self-defense. We take great take comfort in knowing that Shannon’s untimely death was not in vain. Shannon’s fight was carried on by Erin who became the founder/CEO of Girls Fight Back (GFB). GFB seminars are attended by over 100,000 women annually in schools, colleges, corporations and women’s groups around the world. Shannon would be so humbled and grateful to Erin for pursuing such a noble cause in her honor. God alone knows all the ensuing good as He continues to bless Girls Fight Back, memorial scholarships and events established in her memory.

Shannon is as deeply loved and always remembered by her parents, her brother, her family and countless friends. And we cherish the memory of her heart felt love for us! Happy Birthday Shan!

The memory of the righteous will be a blessing. -Proverbs 10:7

After a nutty week of travel to Florida, Illinois and Indiana, yesterday I took a crack ‘o dawn flight back to Denver to attend some important conferences.  Yesterday was the Young Nonprofit Professionals Network (@YNPN) conference, which brought together social entrepreneurs from across the USA to talk about strategy, progress and change. There were some awesome workshops, and I was especially moved by the lunchtime keynote given by Robert Eggers, founder of DC Central Kitchen. He was so smart, so excited, so fond of young people. He believes we can – no we MUST – lead the charge for social enterprise in the U.S. and abroad. Robert’s awesome non-profit combines several major areas of social innovation into one kick-ass organization including helping the homeless, food recycling, job training and empowering young people. (Read more about DC Central Kitchen here.) After he was done speaking, I kinda wanted to kidnap him for the weekend and ask him ten million questions, because his fresh take on banding together and working efficiently spoke volumes to me. (Don’t worry – he’s not in my trunk.)

Last night I could barely sleep with all these new and innovative ideas swirling about. Today at 7am I awoke bright-eyed (or more like puffy-eyed) and ready to volunteer at the Women’s Funding Network conference. Women from all over the WORLD came to this weekend gathering to discuss necessary measures to get money into projects and non-profits that will advance women’s safety, economic stability and overall gender equality. Being in a room with so many people from around the globe is intoxicating in it’s ability to make you think bigger and wider…

For me, the highlight of today was listening to one of my personal heroines speak, named Zainab Salbi (@zainabsalbi). She is the Founder/CEO of Women for Women International which is a non-profit that helps women who have been affected by war, in rebuilding their lives. They have programs active in Iraq, Democratic Republic of the Congo and Afghanistan just to name a few.  Zainab was incredibly inspiring, and spoke of the need to affect a woman’s economic status, the imperative of working with MEN to help women and collaborating with others to make change. Afterward I bought one of her books, and met Zainab during the book signing. She was kind enough to answer some of my questions about teaching self-defense to women in war-torn regions of the world. I asked her if she believed it was something we should investigate as Girls Fight Back begins talking to major funders about expanding outside the USA. Smiling energetically, she responded, “Why not?!”

Do you have a big idea that could change the world? What’s holding you back? I say do it.

After all…why not?

Most people don’t ask me this question outright, but I know they are thinking it: Does self-defense really work?

That’s like asking the Sham-Wow guy if his towel really holds 12 times its weight in liquid, right? Hey, I welcome the believers and doubters alike, and I have more to offer you than my belief in the effectiveness of self-protection measures. But first, let’s figure out why it’s so hard to believe a woman can fight back and win.

I believe that doubt over the effectiveness of self-defense comes from a few places. First, many women feel insecure about their ability to fight back, simply because they have never received any training.  This is why we need to make self-defense training more available to all women, and introduce it earlier in life. Second, bad advice like “fighting back will only make him mad” seems to permeate trickle-down wisdom through generations. This advice is not only inaccurate, but also dangerous.

The NIJ (National Institute of Justice) commissioned a study in 2005 called The Impact of Victim Self Protection on Rape Completion and Injury, authored by Gary Kleck and Jongyeon Tark. Click here to read the entire 77 page study, or just read the highlights below.

• Potential victims who resisted their attackers, either physically and verbally, decreased the odds of being raped.
• Fighting back does not mean a woman is more likely to be injured.
• Self-defense significantly reduces the chances of being raped.
• Certain self-defense techniques reduce the risk of rape more than 80 percent compared to doing nothing.
• According to victims, the most effective ways to fight back include: attacking or struggling against their attacker, running away, and verbally warning the attacker.
• If your idea of self-defense is stalling, cooperating or screaming from pain or fear – these approaches actually increase your risk of injury. So if you’re going to protect yourself, it’s gotta be forceful and strong!

Kinda makes you re-think just how dangerous you can be with even simple self-protection measures! If you’ve been putting off learning self-defense, don’t delay any longer. Click here to read about some of my favorite self-defense programs who offer classes in cities across the USA.

I’ve been tracking the story of Phoebe Prince in the news, and am beyond saddened of her suicide.  She was the focal point of brutal bullying and manipulation, and took her own life in response.  Likely believing there was no other way out, her death was also her solution.

We owe our children better strategies to help them cope.

Don’t believe for a moment that Phoebe was the only girl in this country being ostracized and socially tortured. Countless young people endure this every day.  The difference is, most kids don’t kill themselves. Which brings me to the question…

Why do people have to die before we respond to situations like these?

I’m encouraged by the 41 states that passed legislation addressing the problem of bullying in America.  According to Stop Bullying Now, as of 2009 the 9 states listed below have not.  Shame on them:

Alabama
District of Columbia
Hawaii
Massachusetts
Michigan
Mississippi
Montana
North Dakota
South Dakota
Wisconsin

Whether you’re an adult, a parent, a child or a teen – there are effective strategies to tackle this issue. If you’re a concerned adult, get educated. E-mail your state representative.   Click here to learn more ideas of what adults can do.

If you are being bullied, please don’t take the same path as Phoebe.  You are not alone. And there are people who will help you. Click here to learn what kids can do.