tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44811169372301522162024-10-06T21:47:24.898-07:00ESSAYS ABOUT ANYTHINGCALVIN BANDINIAndy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-3436425761848794942011-04-25T07:17:00.001-07:002011-04-25T07:17:28.972-07:00http://ximurasu.t35.com/Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-55659231918880977622009-05-20T16:25:00.001-07:002009-05-20T16:25:28.269-07:00Previous Post's Finish[Please see, of course, the previous post.]So what should have been a single lackluster post now is two. Maybe Ineeded a song to tell you reading my blog is just like reading myblog.>-- Essays About Anything: http://essaysaboutanything.blogspot.comThe Fibromyalgian: http://fibromyalgian.blogspot.comAndy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-56536586389717914932009-05-20T16:20:00.001-07:002009-05-20T16:20:28.710-07:00So Little Thought Goes Into Important (To Some) ThingsI love PBS. So much so that I take the time to feel guilty that Ican't donate whenever a pledge drive is going on (which is way toodamn often). I'm living on disability income for gods' sake! Also, Ican't support something, regardless of how little, that is responsiblefor Barney.OK. There's a show called "History Detectives." A bried songintroduces the program, the Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-57152115077711337492009-05-12T10:14:00.001-07:002009-05-12T10:14:39.408-07:00I'M BACK (but I've got some problems)!!!Aaaahh yes. I finally feel up to blogging again, even though I don'thave the benefit of something like Ritalin or Provigil. Still, I onceagain feel like posting my genius-level observations.But, as mentioned above, there are problems. I need a laptop (PLEASEDONATE THROUGH MY FIBROMYALGIAN SITE!) because my nearly-ten-year-oldcomputer isn't cutting anything anymore, barring me from the Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-63264215840612135702009-05-10T10:44:00.001-07:002009-05-10T10:44:29.426-07:00An Addition To My Previous Prediction That the Next War Will Be With PakistanI'M BACK TO MY BLOG BABY!!!Months ago I blogged that our next war will be with Pakistan.If I remember correctly (can't check past post because I now have topost using my phone), I didn't go farther than my prediction.So it's important to note that a war with Pakistan will not be simplywith Pakistan. Pakistan has allies, India (Pakistan's eternal enemy)has allies. Arabic and Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-79519409542093276192009-05-09T23:18:00.001-07:002009-05-09T23:18:46.352-07:00Dear Willie Mays (OxyClean Guy):For the love of god stop yelling at me already!-- Essays About Anything: http://essaysaboutanything.blogspot.comThe Fibromyalgian: http://fibromyalgian.blogspot.comAndy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-36670923807931579872009-05-07T13:09:00.000-07:002009-05-07T13:16:01.483-07:00UPDATE!>I've been off Ritalin for... eh, maybe a month-and-a-half, and haven't been able to write a single sentence that would be of any interest to readers.Tomorrow I see my doctor. I'm going to get down on my knees, praise her as the goddess of all creation (or at least my personal goddess of pain control), and beg like hell for Provigil.I can walk and move and a lot of things I couldn't before. But IAndy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-89798920380357121002009-03-31T12:41:00.000-07:002009-03-31T12:41:39.233-07:00Why I Haven't Been Posting:>
Since moving to Portland I've been weaned off the medication I was using to assuage my chronic fatigue (a disorder comorbid with fibro), and now can't get anything done. I have a ton of half-posts I can't finish, which is just as well because they would seem half-assed because I can't focus, think, ad infinitum.
I'm working on getting a shrink who can get me on Provigil and should then be Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-7610563535766829592009-03-17T23:21:00.000-07:002009-03-31T12:45:48.533-07:00Prelude To A Father-Son Conversation>"Jesus goddam that bus was fifteen minutes late today! Fifteen this time!""We gotta go or somethin'?""We gotta hurry.""H'come?""H'come?Well son, you know how Mommy squeezed the life from Daddy's hopes and dreams--""'Course Dad.""--and how the only thing that makes her happy is Daddy's misery and on forever like that?""Yes, Father.""Well, I'll tell you when we get in the car.">Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-31983488058840637082009-03-08T19:49:00.000-07:002009-03-09T13:02:48.611-07:00It's not funny.>The homeopathwent on aboutthe evils ofantimalarial drugswhile slurping aGin and tonic --the drink invented(as tradition has it)so India-colonizing Britscould take theirantimalarial, bitter Quinine tastefully.Samuel Hahnemanntook Quininesome time afterhe quit practicing medicineand used its effectsto formulatehis invention:homeopathy,and its principal tenet"like cures like."Which makes Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-10113931099698573352009-03-05T18:39:00.000-08:002009-03-07T13:19:11.379-08:00"Maybe he did touch some children, but come on, it's Michael Jackson!"*>*"South Park"I've had conversations with people. Quite a few, in fact.Sometimes Michael Jackson is brought up in the course of certain discussions. I'll inevitably say something like:"The mammoth piece of shit fucking monster is a goddam serial child molester."And sometimes the person I'm talking to will say something like:"Yeah, but you can't deny that Thriller is one of the best records Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-62631983338821917292009-03-05T11:27:00.000-08:002009-03-07T13:07:00.413-08:00Faith-based healing.>The Chinese have compounded thousands of years worth of knowledge and experience into what Westerners call Traditional Chinese Medicine. And there's no doubt the West can benefit greatly from its many methods and practices -- many of which are based on the concept of Chi.After all, China was able to boast a national average life expectancy of about 32 in 1950, while Western, more developed, Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-46473644590713441332009-02-27T15:36:00.000-08:002009-02-28T11:47:21.466-08:00The gods must be crazy.>Portland has more microbreweries than any other city in the entire world. (Wiki)Portland is singlehandedly responsible for PBR making a comeback across the entire country. (read this and this)>Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-19667049991190386342009-02-27T02:56:00.000-08:002009-02-27T03:00:34.570-08:00England for the English.>A primary advantage of Britain's Constitutional Monarchy, and the primary reason the queen leads the State Opening every year in full regalia, is that the nation's populace is made ironically though still painfully aware it could, as it has more often than not, be led by a single person's whim.She makes the members of the Houses of Lords and Commons seem like saviors.>Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-46671459494268792082009-02-16T15:52:00.000-08:002009-02-16T16:56:35.675-08:00Foot baths for fibromyalgia!>A friend told me her Mom has been much better lately, since she began using Fentanyl patches. (I had to tell her how to correctly pronounce "Fentanyl," and what it is.)She told me she's proud that her Mom is less dependent on pills, an extremely subtle way of calling me a pseudo-addict pussy because I have to gobble massive quantities of orally administered medicine each day."My Mom looks at Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-69315818546398671122009-02-16T15:47:00.000-08:002009-02-27T16:46:31.901-08:00Questions (and no Googling for the answers):>No Googling -- but the answers are below.1) How many US soldiers have died in Operation Attack Iraq Because Bush II Has A Vendetta?2) How many Iraqi civilians?3) How many US soldiers have died in the war in Afghanistan?4) How may Afghan civilians?5) How many Osama bin Ladens?6) How many angels can dance on the point of a needle?ANSWER KEY:1) About 4,000. (There have been 4,242 confirmed Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-68922748432707144232009-02-06T15:35:00.000-08:002009-02-06T15:45:48.767-08:00Honey Bucket!>
After seeing the below, I cared much less about being allergic to honey and, therefore, not being able to consume it.
Mm-mm!
>Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-53558087694214582212009-02-06T14:07:00.000-08:002009-02-06T16:02:08.374-08:00The Eternal Order Of Reasonably Civilized Monkeys.>The drawing I made and posted previously has something to do with something known as The Eternal Order Of Reasonably Civilized Monkeys.How so? That is: How do I know the two are related?I saw the writing and the drawing together, scribbled in marker on a bar's bathroom stall. Scribbled in the same hand.So we have a group of bathroom vandalizers. Or -- which would be more fun -- organized Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-12081514829362647252009-02-05T17:00:00.000-08:002009-02-27T16:49:38.296-08:00Panic: We are hanging here.>My attempts to load incompatible software onto my aged Mac have ultimately resulted in this:I start up the computer and get a very strange screen with very strange words and numbers that end with"panic: we are hanging here"...Ohhhh-kay.Looks like a complete reinstall is in my future.A reinstall I will have to perform in a state of panic. Because they're hanging here.>Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-1225941319056905922009-02-05T13:45:00.001-08:002009-02-05T13:58:13.165-08:00The devil had an aisle seat.>Since moving to Portland, the following has happened:The mayor (Sam Adams) has become involved in what is being considered a scandal, in which the mayor lied about fucking around with an 18-year-old. Fucking around with an 18-year-old is legal. Portland's mayor is openly gay. Politicians lie.A guy shot nine people in downtown PDX. Killed two teenage girls and himself, wounded the others. GetsAndy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-28677903416509197412009-02-01T14:25:00.000-08:002009-02-02T12:27:53.306-08:00Caring Is Creepy.>
I knew finally
that she wasn't
attracted to me
after I asked her
if she was and
she said she wasn't.
Still, one night
I insisted we meet
and I kissed her.
Before she got mad
I said
"Thanks. I can't
taste
my dead grandfather's forehead anymore."
>Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-55165374236424274552009-01-29T09:22:00.054-08:002009-02-06T14:42:45.544-08:00I live in a city I didn't live in two weeks ago.>I moved to Portland.I'm seeing a sign/symbol/Chinese character drawn/painted/wiped on any surface that will take it. It freaks me out and I can't find out what it is -- means. ...Well, Google offers nothing and Wikipedia doesn't know a thing, which means I don't because one is my library the other my brain, respectively.I drew the sign/whatever from memory:And drew in red because I see it Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-56351564502418266562009-01-27T11:23:00.151-08:002009-02-02T12:43:35.810-08:00Burn this computer.>I just read Fahrenheit 451, a book by Ray Bradbury. My understanding is that most high schoolers are forced to read it. Somehow, I wasn't. And so I didn't side with the firemen, stop reading and quit school to work on a farm to raise, have sex with, and butcher livestock.Bradbury's not good. And not the one to make the case against burning books.(Of course, I'm much worse than he is. But I'm notAndy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-54420924678697365032009-01-17T17:51:00.006-08:002009-01-17T18:32:06.761-08:00America: the Christian nation that rejects christ.>OK... Haitus begins after this post because there isn't a "well enough" and there's nothing I care to leave alone.Research for my last post brought me to an article by Bill McKibben in Harper's Magazine. Read the whole thing.Some highlights from said article (written in 2005) to encourage you to do so:McKibben notes that "somewhere around 85 percent of [Americans] call ourselves Christian. Andy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4481116937230152216.post-10667976201930015712009-01-17T10:57:00.005-08:002009-01-17T17:49:04.730-08:00Christ abhors Christianity.>Today my hiatus begins -- I won't be posting until I get my computer to my new address (I'm moving).I'll leave you (for a week or two) with this:Matthew 18:6-7: "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.7 "Woe unto the world because of offences! for itAndy Rooneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03445394243540521659noreply@blogger.com0